Gameweek 35+ results

1	FC Caligula Ajay Supeda	61	2178
2	Edgbaston Micheal Dinneen	65	2090
3	Nashton Villa Jaime Nash	55	2087
4	Game of Stones Ryan Garoghan	46	2079
5	Locky Bauer Bowyer Paul Hawkins	57	2075
6	BASHAM’S ARRIVING! Tim Dodd	45	2071
7	GingerFizz Noel Driver	51	2060
8	Sterling Silva DEAN CRIPPS	76	2045
9	Neil Madrid Neil Strong	71	2039
10	Kebab Eaters Utd Paul Howard	50	2020

 

We had two managers with Michail Antonio. Unsurprisingly, they notched the two highest scores of the week. Neither captained him, or had Raheem Sterling in their ranks. He was the player that arguably made the most difference this gameweek. His hat trick earned him 21 points, five shy of Antonio’s total, yet it was his higher ownership that determined whether you went up or down the table. Only 3.5% of teams worldwide had the West Ham forward in their teams compared to nearly 20% picking Sterling. The inclusion of Antonio saw Mister D and Buffoon United surpass the 80 point mark. Mister D won the week with a total of 89, aided and abetted by captaining Anthony Martial and having Gabriel Jesus up front. Other than those four players and Son Heung-Min, the other highest scoring players in a week full of high scoring players were misfits like Oli McBurnie, Dominic Solanke, David McGoldrick, Ryan Fredericks and Junior Stanislas, all of whom are owned by less that 1% of all players. Nobody at all owns Stansilas. NOBODY!

With almost a century on their closest rival FC Caligula look good for the title, although we may have a few more teams in the tussle for sixth. Both Sterling Silva and Neil Madrid were among those making moves this gameweek, gaining double figure swings on most of those teams directly above them. Both of those teams have also survived the next cull in Last Man Standing. Our latest two victims are Stranger Mings and Rip Roaring Reds. Both suffered at the hands of poor weeks for Chelsea, Leicester and Liverpool and the fact that, despite another 5-0 win, Kevin De Bruyne had absolutely nothing to do with any of the Manchester City goals. If only they’d taken a punt on Stanislas.

Manager of the week – Mister D – Mr D Boy – 89 points

Player of the week – Michail Antonio – West Ham United – 26 points

Bargain of the week – Trezeguet – Aston Villa – 16 points

Twat of the week – Caglar Soyuncu – Leicester City – -3 points

Goal of the week – Alexandre Lacazette. 4m09s

Gameweek 31 results and Buckets Cup Final

1	The Vinegar Pissers P Hawkins	124	1868
2	Hornets Andrew Wade	80	1825
3	Brexiter City Colin Goulding	77	1817
4	The Craggy Islanders Adrian Roche	84	1804
5	Despicable Mee Trevor Gordon	89	1795
6	Nashton Villa Jaime Nash	93	1794
7	Game of Throw-Ins Ryan Garoghan	81	1781
8	FC Caligula Ajay Supeda	98	1781
9	Edgbaston Micheal Dinneen	104	1776
10	Gotta Light? Andrew Swift	72	1769
11	The winnings R mine david bruce	67	1765
12	Rip Roaring Reds Sean Whyton	112	1763
13	Emergency Gap Jumper Ian Williams	102	1756
14	INIT FC Mustafa khan	90	1754
15	greenyteamy adam greenwood	62	1749
16	Queen of the north DORINE REACHER	85	1743
17	Fun Lovren Criminals Paul Callaghan	46	1741
18	Atlético Chappers Richard Chapman	110	1736
19	Rico united JASON REACHER	102	1736
20	It’sOnlyAGameFarke! David Spinks	74	1729
21	Golden Boys Stephanie Cripps	68	1723
22	We are Ayling Paul Murray	90	1719
23	Shoelace Untied Caroline Strong	84	1700
24	Neil Madrid Neil Strong	95	1688
25	Your Ad Here Matthew Hopkins	100	1685
26	Kebab Eaters Utd Paul Howard	100	1679
27	Aquamar 1564 Noel Driver	86	1677
28	To Elland Back Alan Hardy	112	1676
29	Kompany & Co DEAN CRIPPS	35	1673
30	Flying squad Matt Jarvis	83	1670
31	Klopp of the Pochs Jason Earwicker	102	1666
32	Pure Buffoonery! Jitesh Lakhani	83	1652
33	musttryharder FC Paul Telford	77	1647
34	Crazylegs XI David Caldicott	34	1643
35	Pretty Schitty City Alex Michaluk	43	1637
36	King Dunlap Paul Bentz	71	1636
37	mrs mcgoo laura barrett	104	1626
38	blakes11 Steven Darling	54	1607
39	FTM Stu Smith	120	1604
40	Upper Bullens Andy Taylor	56	1563
41	iamgroot scott mcgow	102	1563
42	romeoshondavan Rob Hewer	88	1559
43	Jarv88 Paul Jarvis	109	1556
44	cookster fc Peter Cook	36	1546
45	Pudding And Pie John Seacroft	51	1525
46	Bakerlona FC Stuart Baker	44	1514
47	disco dancer darren frankland	61	1477
48	Real Jorvik Simon Brown	29	1437
49	Release The Hounds Paul Mitchell	12	1401
50	Biscuitmen Chris Morton	23	1291

 

Buckets Cup Winners – Emegency Gap Jumper

This season’s Bucket Cup champions are Emergency Gap Jumper. They beat Game Of Throw Ins by 102 – 81. Congratulations to them. It’s their first prize money in their 10th Bucket Season. EGJ opted to wildcard, fielding a full XI, whereas GOTI chose not to and went with a seven man squad. The news EGJ won’t want to hear is that they could have beaten GOTI by not wildcarding and simply playing the six players they already had in their squad who were potentially going to play this gameweek. Salah, as captain, Pickford, Milivojevic, Firmino, Doucoure and Gomez would have amassed 85 points.

Manager of the week – The Vinegar Pissers – Paul Hawkins – 124 points

Last week we all put out full teams and some of us struggled to reach what was one of the lowest average scores of the season. This week we’ve four matches in a vastly reduced gameweek – meaning eight teams – seven of them being shit – and 14 Buckets managers post scores of 100+. And it’s all thanks to one player. If ever there was a week in which everybody was going to captain the same man it was this one. Only the ghostships and the league leader decided Mohamed Salah wasn’t up to the job. Brexiter drop to third as a result of their decision to take a punt on Firmino. However, had they gone with Salah, they’d still have lost their lead to The Vinegar Pissers, who have been threatening to take over the top spot for a number of weeks now. Who’d have thought this week would give up the highest gameweek score as well? The VPs only got eight players out, but it would have been a struggle to pick a worse eight. Only Callum Wilson offered up appearance points. Their three man defence contributed a clean sheet each, a goal, an assist and five bonus points. Mane and Milovejevic, playing alongside Salah, added a goal, two assists and two bonus points, and all of a sudden, Cenk Tosun needs to be taken seriously, scoring two to add to the other two he’s notched in his last two games. Four in three and he’s the striker in form.

The VPs have built up quite a lead as a result. Ordinarily you’re happy with an 80 point return, especially from a reduced gameweek, but Hornets are now conceding a 43 point lead to the new leaders. An honorable mention should go to FTM who achieved the second highest score of the weekend and did so by playing their free hit. The free hit chip was developed for gameweeks like this one. FTM finished four shy of The VPs. A bit more faith in Bournemouth or more investment in the Crystal Palace defence over the Everton defence would have seen them over the line. Yet, despite all their efforts, they only moved up two places in the league.

Player of the week – Mohamed Salah – 29 points

It’s the highest weekly score of the season. It’s, from memory, the second highest weekly score ever and the highest single gameweek score. It’s his 14th double figure haul of the season. There have only been seven weeks in the 31 in which he hasn’t either scored or assisted. It’s four goals, an assist and inevitably, all the bonus points. It’s Mohamed Salah, who now sits on 266 points from 30 of the 31 gameweeks. That’s an average of 8.86 points a game. At that rate he should surpass the 300 point mark and become the first player to do that. Luis Suarez’s record is 295 from the 2013/2014 season. Just leave the armband where it is.

Bargain of the week – James Tomkins – 15 points

In truth the other big scores of the weekend could have gone anywhere. Any one of the other teams could have kept a clean sheet or scored a hatful. Those who took a punt on Palace players would have ended up happy, particularly those opting for James Tomkins. He’s the safest route into that Palace defence at the moment – if you dare venture there. You couldn’t have asked for much more than a goal, clean sheet and all the bonus marks. Apart from maybe a second goal, which he as inches away from getting. Just don’t pick him next week.

Twat of the week – Charlie Adam – -2 points

I’m not sure he was gracing too many teams. In fact, he’s been dropping out of squads as opposed to being brought in ahead of this gameweek, which says a lot. Xherdan Shaqiri looked like the most optimistic Stoke choice, along with Jack Butland, who has been racking up the save points over the last few weeks. Shaqiri failed to deliver, but Butland’s 3 point return was the average keeper score. Watford and Huddersfield were the teams to completely ignore this week.

Goal of the week – Junior Stanislas.

1m20s in

 

Gameweek 8 result

1	Neil Madrid Neil Strong	62	472
2	nO fucHs given Paul Callaghan	52	452
3	Aquamar 15 Noel Driver	61	448
4	QUEEN OF THE NORTH DORINE REACHER	60	446
5	Uriah Rennie 2nd XI Neil Greenwood	49	441
6	To Elland Back Alan Hardy	37	427
7	Joey Bosa Paul Bentz	58	426
8	Kebab Eaters Utd Paul Howard	52	424
9	When Harry met Alli Trevor Gordon	37	422
10	4 Fuchs Ake Jason Earwicker	42	420
11	Rip Roaring Reds Sean Whyton	55	418
12	30:19 Darren Lavelle	35	416
13	The Craggy Islanders Adrian Roche	28	411
14	RICO UNITED JASON REACHER	35	410
15	Yeboah’s Right Foot Paul Murray	70	410
16	Go Buffoons Go Jitesh Lakhani	57	409
17	Biscuitmen Chris Morton	41	404
18	Hedgehog Corpse FC Nick Smith	56	397
19	Golden Boys Stephanie Cripps	39	394
20	Edgbaston Micheal Dinneen	37	387
21	INIT FC Mustafa khan	49	386
22	greenyteamy adam greenwood	40	385
23	Your Ad Here Matthew Hopkins	51	385
24	Release The Hounds Paul Mitchell	35	380
24	Ciderheads Darren Pope	42	380
26	FTM Stu Smith	41	380
26	Crazy Legs XI David Caldicott	44	380
28	Atlético Chappers Richard Chapman	57	378
29	FC Caligula Ajay Supeda	35	368
30	Jeff Lamp’s Porsche David Spinks	43	367
31	Cooksters Peter Cook	57	366
32	Jarvis FC Matt Jarvis	36	366
33	RG XV Ryan Garoghan	39	363
34	Real Jorvik Simon Brown	16	355
35	romeoshondavan Rob Hewer	50	354
36	Big White Chiefs david frankland	53	350
37	Upper Bullens Andy Taylor	32	346
38	Pretty Schitty City Alex Michaluk	30	343
39	Bish Bosh Goal Simon Purnell	47	340
40	Hucking Fell P Hawkins	41	332
41	Bermie Utd Glen Davies	32	328
42	Have a little dink Ian Williams	37	325
43	jetty city scott mcgow	27	325
44	Bakerlona Stuart Baker	22	322
45	Shoelace Untied Caroline Strong	28	318
46	I am not Zlatan Colin Goulding	46	316
47	Racing Club Skegness Andrew Swift	45	311
48	DJ’s Trail Blazers Danian Jones	34	310
49	Pepe Le Blue DEAN CRIPPS	40	303
50	bazza 28 united laura barrett	29	296

51	Dj daz darren frankland	29	288
52	Jarv88 Paul Jarvis	22	275
53	Pudding And Pie John Seacroft	33	264

 

Two penalty saves in one game is a rare feat. Maarten Stekelenberg picked up 17 points, a massive total for a keeper, as a result of keeping out Kevin De Bruyne and then Sergio Aguero. The Aguero save in particular wouldn’t have gone down well with a lot of managers. Aguero scored a record low -1 points – -2 for the unfortunate bunch who opted for him as captain. You were unluckier still if you had Christian Benteke as another of your attackers. He also missed from the spot. Aguero became a first time donkey – out-donkeying even the Hull defence, but Stekelenberg’s efforts weren’t enough to secure him a player of the week award. Thanks to that Hull defence, Junior Stanislas outscored everyone else with only the second 20+ score of the season, equalling Nacer Chadli’s 21 points from a few weeks ago.

Top manager this week is Yeboah’s right foot – for the second consecutive week. This week they notched 70 points and moved a further seven places up the table from 22nd to 15th. They’d risen 13 places the previous week. Reminds me of the charts in the eighties. They could be top ten next week. Key to their total were goal scoring performances from Nathan Redmond and Dele Alli, who has actually had four scoring weeks in the last five – a little under the radar. I hadn’t noticed. Yeboah’s also plumped for Costa as their captain and had the form horse, Theo Walcott, leadng their midfield.

Player of the week – Junior Stanislas – 21 points. The new Capoue?

Bargain of the week – Joe Allen – 16 points. Stoke’s goal machine.

Donkey of the week – Sergio Aguero – -1 points. By no means a safe bet from the penalty spot.

Goal of the week – Jose Holebas.