Gameweek 31 results and Buckets Cup Final

1  up The Vinegar Pissers
P Hawkins
124 1868
2  same Hornets
Andrew Wade
80 1825
3  down Brexiter City
Colin Goulding
77 1817
4  same The Craggy Islanders
Adrian Roche
84 1804
5  same Despicable Mee
Trevor Gordon
89 1795
6  same Nashton Villa
Jaime Nash
93 1794
7  same Game of Throw-Ins
Ryan Garoghan
81 1781
8  up FC Caligula
Ajay Supeda
98 1781
9  up Edgbaston
Micheal Dinneen
104 1776
10  same Gotta Light?
Andrew Swift
72 1769
11  down The winnings R mine
david bruce
67 1765
12  up Rip Roaring Reds
Sean Whyton
112 1763
13  up Emergency Gap Jumper
Ian Williams
102 1756
14  same INIT FC
Mustafa khan
90 1754
15  down greenyteamy
adam greenwood
62 1749
16  down Queen of the north
85 1743
17  down Fun Lovren Criminals
Paul Callaghan
46 1741
18  up Atlético Chappers
Richard Chapman
110 1736
19  up Rico united
102 1736
20  down It’sOnlyAGameFarke!
David Spinks
74 1729
21  down Golden Boys
Stephanie Cripps
68 1723
22  same We are Ayling
Paul Murray
90 1719
23  up Shoelace Untied
Caroline Strong
84 1700
24  up Neil Madrid
Neil Strong
95 1688
25  up Your Ad Here
Matthew Hopkins
100 1685
26  up Kebab Eaters Utd
Paul Howard
100 1679
27  down Aquamar 1564
Noel Driver
86 1677
28  up To Elland Back
Alan Hardy
112 1676
29  down Kompany & Co
35 1673
30  down Flying squad
Matt Jarvis
83 1670
31  up Klopp of the Pochs
Jason Earwicker
102 1666
32  up Pure Buffoonery!
Jitesh Lakhani
83 1652
33  down musttryharder FC
Paul Telford
77 1647
34  down Crazylegs XI
David Caldicott
34 1643
35  down Pretty Schitty City
Alex Michaluk
43 1637
36  down King Dunlap
Paul Bentz
71 1636
37  up mrs mcgoo
laura barrett
104 1626
38  down blakes11
Steven Darling
54 1607
39  up FTM
Stu Smith
120 1604
40  down Upper Bullens
Andy Taylor
56 1563
41  up iamgroot
scott mcgow
102 1563
42  up romeoshondavan
Rob Hewer
88 1559
43  down Jarv88
Paul Jarvis
109 1556
44  down cookster fc
Peter Cook
36 1546
45  down Pudding And Pie
John Seacroft
51 1525
46  down Bakerlona FC
Stuart Baker
44 1514
47  same disco dancer
darren frankland
61 1477
48  same Real Jorvik
Simon Brown
29 1437
49  same Release The Hounds
Paul Mitchell
12 1401
50  same Biscuitmen
Chris Morton
23 1291


Buckets Cup Winners – Emegency Gap Jumper

This season’s Bucket Cup champions are Emergency Gap Jumper. They beat Game Of Throw Ins by 102 – 81. Congratulations to them. It’s their first prize money in their 10th Bucket Season. EGJ opted to wildcard, fielding a full XI, whereas GOTI chose not to and went with a seven man squad. The news EGJ won’t want to hear is that they could have beaten GOTI by not wildcarding and simply playing the six players they already had in their squad who were potentially going to play this gameweek. Salah, as captain, Pickford, Milivojevic, Firmino, Doucoure and Gomez would have amassed 85 points.

Manager of the week – The Vinegar Pissers – Paul Hawkins – 124 points

Last week we all put out full teams and some of us struggled to reach what was one of the lowest average scores of the season. This week we’ve four matches in a vastly reduced gameweek – meaning eight teams – seven of them being shit – and 14 Buckets managers post scores of 100+. And it’s all thanks to one player. If ever there was a week in which everybody was going to captain the same man it was this one. Only the ghostships and the league leader decided Mohamed Salah wasn’t up to the job. Brexiter drop to third as a result of their decision to take a punt on Firmino. However, had they gone with Salah, they’d still have lost their lead to The Vinegar Pissers, who have been threatening to take over the top spot for a number of weeks now. Who’d have thought this week would give up the highest gameweek score as well? The VPs only got eight players out, but it would have been a struggle to pick a worse eight. Only Callum Wilson offered up appearance points. Their three man defence contributed a clean sheet each, a goal, an assist and five bonus points. Mane and Milovejevic, playing alongside Salah, added a goal, two assists and two bonus points, and all of a sudden, Cenk Tosun needs to be taken seriously, scoring two to add to the other two he’s notched in his last two games. Four in three and he’s the striker in form.

The VPs have built up quite a lead as a result. Ordinarily you’re happy with an 80 point return, especially from a reduced gameweek, but Hornets are now conceding a 43 point lead to the new leaders. An honorable mention should go to FTM who achieved the second highest score of the weekend and did so by playing their free hit. The free hit chip was developed for gameweeks like this one. FTM finished four shy of The VPs. A bit more faith in Bournemouth or more investment in the Crystal Palace defence over the Everton defence would have seen them over the line. Yet, despite all their efforts, they only moved up two places in the league.

Player of the week – Mohamed Salah – 29 points

It’s the highest weekly score of the season. It’s, from memory, the second highest weekly score ever and the highest single gameweek score. It’s his 14th double figure haul of the season. There have only been seven weeks in the 31 in which he hasn’t either scored or assisted. It’s four goals, an assist and inevitably, all the bonus points. It’s Mohamed Salah, who now sits on 266 points from 30 of the 31 gameweeks. That’s an average of 8.86 points a game. At that rate he should surpass the 300 point mark and become the first player to do that. Luis Suarez’s record is 295 from the 2013/2014 season. Just leave the armband where it is.

Bargain of the week – James Tomkins – 15 points

In truth the other big scores of the weekend could have gone anywhere. Any one of the other teams could have kept a clean sheet or scored a hatful. Those who took a punt on Palace players would have ended up happy, particularly those opting for James Tomkins. He’s the safest route into that Palace defence at the moment – if you dare venture there. You couldn’t have asked for much more than a goal, clean sheet and all the bonus marks. Apart from maybe a second goal, which he as inches away from getting. Just don’t pick him next week.

Twat of the week – Charlie Adam – -2 points

I’m not sure he was gracing too many teams. In fact, he’s been dropping out of squads as opposed to being brought in ahead of this gameweek, which says a lot. Xherdan Shaqiri looked like the most optimistic Stoke choice, along with Jack Butland, who has been racking up the save points over the last few weeks. Shaqiri failed to deliver, but Butland’s 3 point return was the average keeper score. Watford and Huddersfield were the teams to completely ignore this week.

Goal of the week – Junior Stanislas.

1m20s in


Gameweek 8 result

same Neil Madrid
Neil Strong
62 472
same nO fucHs given
Paul Callaghan
52 452
up Aquamar 15
Noel Driver
61 448
60 446
down Uriah Rennie 2nd XI
Neil Greenwood
49 441
down To Elland Back
Alan Hardy
37 427
up Joey Bosa
Paul Bentz
58 426
up Kebab Eaters Utd
Paul Howard
52 424
down When Harry met Alli
Trevor Gordon
37 422
10  same 4 Fuchs Ake
Jason Earwicker
42 420
11  up Rip Roaring Reds
Sean Whyton
55 418
12  down 30:19
Darren Lavelle
35 416
13  down The Craggy Islanders
Adrian Roche
28 411
14  down RICO UNITED
35 410
15  up Yeboah’s Right Foot
Paul Murray
70 410
16  same Go Buffoons Go
Jitesh Lakhani
57 409
17  down Biscuitmen
Chris Morton
41 404
18  up Hedgehog Corpse FC
Nick Smith
56 397
19  down Golden Boys
Stephanie Cripps
39 394
20  down Edgbaston
Micheal Dinneen
37 387
21  up INIT FC
Mustafa khan
49 386
22  down greenyteamy
adam greenwood
40 385
23  up Your Ad Here
Matthew Hopkins
51 385
24  down Release The Hounds
Paul Mitchell
35 380
24  up Ciderheads
Darren Pope
42 380
26  down FTM
Stu Smith
41 380
26  up Crazy Legs XI
David Caldicott
44 380
28  up Atlético Chappers
Richard Chapman
57 378
29  up FC Caligula
Ajay Supeda
35 368
30  up Jeff Lamp’s Porsche
David Spinks
43 367
31  up Cooksters
Peter Cook
57 366
32  down Jarvis FC
Matt Jarvis
36 366
33  down RG XV
Ryan Garoghan
39 363
34  down Real Jorvik
Simon Brown
16 355
35  up romeoshondavan
Rob Hewer
50 354
36  up Big White Chiefs
david frankland
53 350
37  down Upper Bullens
Andy Taylor
32 346
38  down Pretty Schitty City
Alex Michaluk
30 343
39  up Bish Bosh Goal
Simon Purnell
47 340
40  up Hucking Fell
P Hawkins
41 332
41  same Bermie Utd
Glen Davies
32 328
42  up Have a little dink
Ian Williams
37 325
43  down jetty city
scott mcgow
27 325
44  down Bakerlona
Stuart Baker
22 322
45  down Shoelace Untied
Caroline Strong
28 318
46  up I am not Zlatan
Colin Goulding
46 316
47  up Racing Club Skegness
Andrew Swift
45 311
48  down DJ’s Trail Blazers
Danian Jones
34 310
49  up Pepe Le Blue
40 303
50  down bazza 28 united
laura barrett
29 296
51  same Dj daz
darren frankland
29 288
52  same Jarv88
Paul Jarvis
22 275
53  same Pudding And Pie
John Seacroft
33 264


Two penalty saves in one game is a rare feat. Maarten Stekelenberg picked up 17 points, a massive total for a keeper, as a result of keeping out Kevin De Bruyne and then Sergio Aguero. The Aguero save in particular wouldn’t have gone down well with a lot of managers. Aguero scored a record low -1 points – -2 for the unfortunate bunch who opted for him as captain. You were unluckier still if you had Christian Benteke as another of your attackers. He also missed from the spot. Aguero became a first time donkey – out-donkeying even the Hull defence, but Stekelenberg’s efforts weren’t enough to secure him a player of the week award. Thanks to that Hull defence, Junior Stanislas outscored everyone else with only the second 20+ score of the season, equalling Nacer Chadli’s 21 points from a few weeks ago.

Top manager this week is Yeboah’s right foot – for the second consecutive week. This week they notched 70 points and moved a further seven places up the table from 22nd to 15th. They’d risen 13 places the previous week. Reminds me of the charts in the eighties. They could be top ten next week. Key to their total were goal scoring performances from Nathan Redmond and Dele Alli, who has actually had four scoring weeks in the last five – a little under the radar. I hadn’t noticed. Yeboah’s also plumped for Costa as their captain and had the form horse, Theo Walcott, leadng their midfield.

Player of the week – Junior Stanislas – 21 points. The new Capoue?

Bargain of the week – Joe Allen – 16 points. Stoke’s goal machine.

Donkey of the week – Sergio Aguero – -1 points. By no means a safe bet from the penalty spot.

Goal of the week – Jose Holebas.