1  same The Vinegar Pissers
P Hawkins
58 1926
2  same Hornets
Andrew Wade
63 1888
3  up The Craggy Islanders
Adrian Roche
66 1870
4  down Brexiter City
Colin Goulding
54 1867
5  same Despicable Mee
Trevor Gordon
66 1861
6  same Nashton Villa
Jaime Nash
64 1858
7  up FC Caligula
Ajay Supeda
59 1840
8  up Edgbaston
Micheal Dinneen
56 1832
9  down Game of Throw-Ins
Ryan Garoghan
47 1828
10  up The winnings R mine
david bruce
49 1814
11  up greenyteamy
adam greenwood
62 1811
12  same Rip Roaring Reds
Sean Whyton
44 1807
13  down Gotta Light?
Andrew Swift
35 1804
14  up Queen of the north
DORINE REACHER
68 1803
15  down Emergency Gap Jumper
Ian Williams
51 1803
16  up Fun Lovren Criminals
Paul Callaghan
61 1802
17  up Rico united
JASON REACHER
67 1799
18  down INIT FC
Mustafa khan
49 1799
19  up It’sOnlyAGameFarke!
David Spinks
53 1778
20  down Atlético Chappers
Richard Chapman
41 1777
21  up We are Ayling
Paul Murray
50 1769
22  down Golden Boys
Stephanie Cripps
32 1755
23  same Shoelace Untied
Caroline Strong
52 1752
24  up Kebab Eaters Utd
Paul Howard
60 1739
25  same Your Ad Here
Matthew Hopkins
44 1729
26  up Aquamar 1564
Noel Driver
49 1726
27  up Flying squad
Matt Jarvis
59 1725
28  same To Elland Back
Alan Hardy
48 1724
29  down Neil Madrid
Neil Strong
47 1723
30  up Pure Buffoonery!
Jitesh Lakhani
68 1720
31  same Klopp of the Pochs
Jason Earwicker
53 1719
32  down Kompany & Co
DEAN CRIPPS
53 1718
33  up Crazylegs XI
David Caldicott
60 1703
34  down musttryharder FC
Paul Telford
50 1697
35  same Pretty Schitty City
Alex Michaluk
59 1696
36  up mrs mcgoo
laura barrett
62 1688
37  down King Dunlap
Paul Bentz
42 1678
38  up FTM
Stu Smith
68 1672
39  down blakes11
Steven Darling
45 1644
40  up iamgroot
scott mcgow
62 1625
41  down Upper Bullens
Andy Taylor
55 1618
42  same romeoshondavan
Rob Hewer
55 1614
43  same Jarv88
Paul Jarvis
56 1604
44  same cookster fc
Peter Cook
57 1603
45  up Bakerlona FC
Stuart Baker
45 1559
46  down Pudding And Pie
John Seacroft
34 1559
47  same disco dancer
darren frankland
58 1531
48  same Real Jorvik
Simon Brown
44 1481
49  same Release The Hounds
Paul Mitchell
46 1443
50  same Biscuitmen
Chris Morton
44 1335

 

March Manager of the Month – The Vinegar Pissers – Paul Hawkins – 304 points

There wasn’t really anyone else in it. During March The Vinegar Pissers have risen to the top of our league, climbed 100,000 places in the overall game into the top 20,000 and posted the highest weekly gameweek score of our season so far. They’ve no wildcard but all three chips remaining, meaning it looks like they’re in good shape to cope with gameweeks 34, 35 and 37. They’re our likely new favourites for the title and it’ll be a second time success for their manager. Beware of last year’s champs and runners up who are sat in 3rd and 5th respectively and on the climb.

Manager of the week – Pure Buffoonery! – Jitesh Lakhani – 68 points (7 goals)

Three teams picked up 68 points this week. Queen Of The North and FTM both scored four goals in reaching that total, but it’s Pure Buffoonery! with seven goals that take their place on the honours board. Seven goals is an impressive haul for a gameweek. They were scored by five different players with both Arnautovic and Aubameyang contributing a brace. Clearly they missed when placing the captain’s armband. Surely it was meant to land on Mo Salah, but instead ended up around Pascal Gross’ arm. Which would have been wonderful had it paid off, but it didn’t. But when your side bangs in seven goals, what does it matter?

Player of the week – Marko Arnautovic – 16 points

There haven’t been many double players of the week. Arnautovic becomes the fourth following Aguero, Son and Kane. He appears to be leading the line again following a spell relying on Javier Hernandez, which didn’t work out all that well. West Ham have a double gameweek upcoming – probably in GW37 – and they also play GW35. Arnautovic, who has scored his nine goals in 13 games, could be well worth keeping hold of if you’ve got him. Although, they won’t be playing Southampton every week.

Bargain of the week – Ben Chilwell – 11 points

Chilwell is winning the battle with Christian Fuchs for the Leicester left back role at the moment and at £4.3 with two double gameweeks on the horizon is a tempting prospect. He has two assists in his last two games, so there’s attacking potential there. This week he added a clean sheet. Leicester’s double gamewek opponents are Burnley, Southampton, West Ham and Arsenal. At least two, possibly even three of those four games could easily end up with more clean sheet points on the board.

Twat of the week – Jack Stephens – 0 points

It’s looking pretty dire for Southampton. They too have two double gameweeks to negotiate, but their run in is frightening. Chelsea, Leicester, Everton and Swansea make up their 34 and 37 opponents, which is bad enough. Add to that Arsenal next week and Manchester City last game of the season and even those that can’t resist filling the teams with double gameweekers are probably going to be steering well clear of Southampton players.

Goal of the week – Ashley Barnes. 

Was close to winning it a few weeks back. Definitely wins it this week. From the start.

 

Advertisements
1  up The Vinegar Pissers
P Hawkins
124 1868
2  same Hornets
Andrew Wade
80 1825
3  down Brexiter City
Colin Goulding
77 1817
4  same The Craggy Islanders
Adrian Roche
84 1804
5  same Despicable Mee
Trevor Gordon
89 1795
6  same Nashton Villa
Jaime Nash
93 1794
7  same Game of Throw-Ins
Ryan Garoghan
81 1781
8  up FC Caligula
Ajay Supeda
98 1781
9  up Edgbaston
Micheal Dinneen
104 1776
10  same Gotta Light?
Andrew Swift
72 1769
11  down The winnings R mine
david bruce
67 1765
12  up Rip Roaring Reds
Sean Whyton
112 1763
13  up Emergency Gap Jumper
Ian Williams
102 1756
14  same INIT FC
Mustafa khan
90 1754
15  down greenyteamy
adam greenwood
62 1749
16  down Queen of the north
DORINE REACHER
85 1743
17  down Fun Lovren Criminals
Paul Callaghan
46 1741
18  up Atlético Chappers
Richard Chapman
110 1736
19  up Rico united
JASON REACHER
102 1736
20  down It’sOnlyAGameFarke!
David Spinks
74 1729
21  down Golden Boys
Stephanie Cripps
68 1723
22  same We are Ayling
Paul Murray
90 1719
23  up Shoelace Untied
Caroline Strong
84 1700
24  up Neil Madrid
Neil Strong
95 1688
25  up Your Ad Here
Matthew Hopkins
100 1685
26  up Kebab Eaters Utd
Paul Howard
100 1679
27  down Aquamar 1564
Noel Driver
86 1677
28  up To Elland Back
Alan Hardy
112 1676
29  down Kompany & Co
DEAN CRIPPS
35 1673
30  down Flying squad
Matt Jarvis
83 1670
31  up Klopp of the Pochs
Jason Earwicker
102 1666
32  up Pure Buffoonery!
Jitesh Lakhani
83 1652
33  down musttryharder FC
Paul Telford
77 1647
34  down Crazylegs XI
David Caldicott
34 1643
35  down Pretty Schitty City
Alex Michaluk
43 1637
36  down King Dunlap
Paul Bentz
71 1636
37  up mrs mcgoo
laura barrett
104 1626
38  down blakes11
Steven Darling
54 1607
39  up FTM
Stu Smith
120 1604
40  down Upper Bullens
Andy Taylor
56 1563
41  up iamgroot
scott mcgow
102 1563
42  up romeoshondavan
Rob Hewer
88 1559
43  down Jarv88
Paul Jarvis
109 1556
44  down cookster fc
Peter Cook
36 1546
45  down Pudding And Pie
John Seacroft
51 1525
46  down Bakerlona FC
Stuart Baker
44 1514
47  same disco dancer
darren frankland
61 1477
48  same Real Jorvik
Simon Brown
29 1437
49  same Release The Hounds
Paul Mitchell
12 1401
50  same Biscuitmen
Chris Morton
23 1291

 

Buckets Cup Winners – Emegency Gap Jumper

This season’s Bucket Cup champions are Emergency Gap Jumper. They beat Game Of Throw Ins by 102 – 81. Congratulations to them. It’s their first prize money in their 10th Bucket Season. EGJ opted to wildcard, fielding a full XI, whereas GOTI chose not to and went with a seven man squad. The news EGJ won’t want to hear is that they could have beaten GOTI by not wildcarding and simply playing the six players they already had in their squad who were potentially going to play this gameweek. Salah, as captain, Pickford, Milivojevic, Firmino, Doucoure and Gomez would have amassed 85 points.

Manager of the week – The Vinegar Pissers – Paul Hawkins – 124 points

Last week we all put out full teams and some of us struggled to reach what was one of the lowest average scores of the season. This week we’ve four matches in a vastly reduced gameweek – meaning eight teams – seven of them being shit – and 14 Buckets managers post scores of 100+. And it’s all thanks to one player. If ever there was a week in which everybody was going to captain the same man it was this one. Only the ghostships and the league leader decided Mohamed Salah wasn’t up to the job. Brexiter drop to third as a result of their decision to take a punt on Firmino. However, had they gone with Salah, they’d still have lost their lead to The Vinegar Pissers, who have been threatening to take over the top spot for a number of weeks now. Who’d have thought this week would give up the highest gameweek score as well? The VPs only got eight players out, but it would have been a struggle to pick a worse eight. Only Callum Wilson offered up appearance points. Their three man defence contributed a clean sheet each, a goal, an assist and five bonus points. Mane and Milovejevic, playing alongside Salah, added a goal, two assists and two bonus points, and all of a sudden, Cenk Tosun needs to be taken seriously, scoring two to add to the other two he’s notched in his last two games. Four in three and he’s the striker in form.

The VPs have built up quite a lead as a result. Ordinarily you’re happy with an 80 point return, especially from a reduced gameweek, but Hornets are now conceding a 43 point lead to the new leaders. An honorable mention should go to FTM who achieved the second highest score of the weekend and did so by playing their free hit. The free hit chip was developed for gameweeks like this one. FTM finished four shy of The VPs. A bit more faith in Bournemouth or more investment in the Crystal Palace defence over the Everton defence would have seen them over the line. Yet, despite all their efforts, they only moved up two places in the league.

Player of the week – Mohamed Salah – 29 points

It’s the highest weekly score of the season. It’s, from memory, the second highest weekly score ever and the highest single gameweek score. It’s his 14th double figure haul of the season. There have only been seven weeks in the 31 in which he hasn’t either scored or assisted. It’s four goals, an assist and inevitably, all the bonus points. It’s Mohamed Salah, who now sits on 266 points from 30 of the 31 gameweeks. That’s an average of 8.86 points a game. At that rate he should surpass the 300 point mark and become the first player to do that. Luis Suarez’s record is 295 from the 2013/2014 season. Just leave the armband where it is.

Bargain of the week – James Tomkins – 15 points

In truth the other big scores of the weekend could have gone anywhere. Any one of the other teams could have kept a clean sheet or scored a hatful. Those who took a punt on Palace players would have ended up happy, particularly those opting for James Tomkins. He’s the safest route into that Palace defence at the moment – if you dare venture there. You couldn’t have asked for much more than a goal, clean sheet and all the bonus marks. Apart from maybe a second goal, which he as inches away from getting. Just don’t pick him next week.

Twat of the week – Charlie Adam – -2 points

I’m not sure he was gracing too many teams. In fact, he’s been dropping out of squads as opposed to being brought in ahead of this gameweek, which says a lot. Xherdan Shaqiri looked like the most optimistic Stoke choice, along with Jack Butland, who has been racking up the save points over the last few weeks. Shaqiri failed to deliver, but Butland’s 3 point return was the average keeper score. Watford and Huddersfield were the teams to completely ignore this week.

Goal of the week – Junior Stanislas.

1m20s in

 

1  same Hornets
Andrew Wade
69 461
2  same The winnings R mine
david bruce
65 442
3  up Kompany & Co
DEAN CRIPPS
69 428
4  down The Vinegar Pissers
P Hawkins
62 427
5  up INIT FC
Mustafa khan
82 424
6  up Fun Lovren Criminals
Paul Callaghan
71 415
7  up Gotta Light?
Andrew Swift
72 408
8  up Neil Madrid
Neil Strong
90 406
9  down Crazylegs XI
David Caldicott
39 403
10  up King Dunlap
Paul Bentz
64 402
11  down Klopp of the Pochs
Jason Earwicker
52 402
12  down Rip Roaring Reds
Sean Whyton
56 401
13  up Jarv88
Paul Jarvis
78 401
14  same It’sOnlyAGameFarke!
David Spinks
66 399
15  down Golden Boys
Stephanie Cripps
49 396
16  up Rico united
JASON REACHER
64 389
17  up Despicable Mee
Trevor Gordon
68 387
18  down Brexiter City
Colin Goulding
61 387
19  up Edgbaston
Micheal Dinneen
69 386
20  same musttryharder FC
Paul Telford
71 386
21  up FTM
Stu Smith
91 383
22  down Queen of the north
DORINE REACHER
48 382
23  up Flying squad
Matt Jarvis
63 378
24  up The Craggy Islanders
Adrian Roche
65 377
25  up Bakerlona FC
Stuart Baker
77 372
26  down Real Jorvik
Simon Brown
49 371
27  same greenyteamy
adam greenwood
53 367
28  down Aquamar 1564
Noel Driver
48 367
29  up Atlético Chappers
Richard Chapman
61 365
30  up FC Caligula
Ajay Supeda
58 360
31  up Upper Bullens
Andy Taylor
69 357
32  down Nashton Villa
Jaime Nash
39 356
33  up We are Ayling
Paul Murray
71 354
34  down romeoshondavan
Rob Hewer
36 353
35  down Release The Hounds
Paul Mitchell
48 353
36  up Kebab Eaters Utd
Paul Howard
73 352
37  down Game of Throw-Ins
Ryan Garoghan
46 351
38  up Your Ad Here
Matthew Hopkins
66 350
39  down Pretty Schitty City
Alex Michaluk
55 349
40  down To Elland Back
Alan Hardy
54 344
41  down mrs mcgoo
laura barrett
26 340
41  up Shoelace Untied
Caroline Strong
65 340
43  down Pure Buffoonery!
Jitesh Lakhani
41 339
44  down cookster fc
Peter Cook
31 333
45  down disco dancer
darren frankland
52 333
46  up Emergency Gap Jumper
Ian Williams
50 316
47  up Pudding And Pie
John Seacroft
53 311
48  down iamgroot
scott mcgow
33 310
49  same blakes11
Steven Darling
63 297
50  same Biscuitmen
Chris Morton
28 241

Manager of the month – Dean Cripps – Kompany & Co – 289 points

The Vinegar Pissers lead the way going into the weekend but it’s Kompany & Co that take the prize. They also switched places – 3rd and 4th – in the overall league. Kompany’s key player was Nacho Monreal. The Arsenal defender added 15 points to their score. And you probably hadn’t noticed, but that’s four shut-outs on the spin now from Wenger’s team.

Manager of the week – Stu Smith – FTM – 91 points

FTM were probably hoping for a few goals from Harry Kane, a clean sheet from Phil Jones, another dominant Man City display and maybe a piece of magic from Philippe Coutinho to amass a healthy score this week. They got all those things, but the 16 ridiculous points picked up by Marouanne Fellaini probably wasn’t expected, and it’s what pushed them to the top of the weekly charts just ahead of Neil Madrid, who gave us the first glimpse of the potential power of the fee hit.

Player of the week – Marouane Fellaini – 16 points.

This will never happen again. Not even Marouane Fellaini has Marouane Fellaini in his fantasy team.

Bargain of the week – Stephen Ward – 12 points

Second in the bonus charts for defenders and third in the bonus charts overall, Ward and the Burnley back line look the best of the cheap options in that area of the park at the moment.

Twat of the week – Tommy Smith – 0 points

It’s hard to believe that still no Palace players have landed at the bottom of the weekly charts given the amount of goals they’re shipping. Luckily for them there’s always someone slightly more expensive shipping as many goals each week. Palace players are so uninvolved they’re not even getting sent off.

Goal of the week – Philippe Coutinho.

Gameweek 3 results

August 29, 2016

up 4 Fuchs Ake
Jason Earwicker
66 184
same The Craggy Islanders
Adrian Roche
46 180
up Jeff Lamp’s Porsche
David Spinks
65 178
up Neil Madrid
Neil Strong
53 175
up Release The Hounds
Paul Mitchell
52 174
down 30:19
Darren Lavelle
37 172
up Edgbaston
Micheal Dinneen
57 171
down Aquamar 15
Noel Driver
43 171
down When Harry met Alli
Trevor Gordon
48 170
10  up Racing Club Skegness
Andrew Swift
49 169
11  up FTM
Stu Smith
69 167
12  up Go Buffoons Go
Jitesh Lakhani
51 167
13  down nO fucHs given
Paul Callaghan
40 166
14  up FC Caligula
Ajay Supeda
50 165
15  up Uriah Rennie 2nd XI
Neil Greenwood
65 165
16  up QUEEN OF THE NORTH
DORINE REACHER
50 163
17  up Jarvis FC
Matt Jarvis
58 162
17  down Ciderheads
Darren Pope
36 162
19  up INIT FC
Mustafa khan
54 159
20  down RG XV
Ryan Garoghan
44 158
21  down Biscuitmen
Chris Morton
41 158
22  down Golden Boys
Stephanie Cripps
32 157
23  down Kebab Eaters Utd
Paul Howard
44 157
24  up Cooksters
Peter Cook
62 155
25  up Joey Bosa
Paul Bentz
66 154
26  down To Elland Back
Alan Hardy
40 152
27  down Real Jorvik
Simon Brown
37 152
28  down Atlético Chappers
Richard Chapman
38 149
29  same Bakerlona
Stuart Baker
43 148
30  up Rip Roaring Reds
Sean Whyton
45 147
31  down DJ’s Trail Blazers
Danian Jones
38 144
32  down Hucking Fell
P Hawkins
26 138
33  down I am not Zlatan
Colin Goulding
33 138
33  down Hedgehog Corpse FC
Nick Smith
24 138
35  down Bish Bosh Goal
Simon Purnell
25 133
36  down greenyteamy
adam greenwood
31 133
37  up Shoelace Untied
Caroline Strong
43 132
37  down Crazy Legs XI
David Caldicott
30 132
39  up RICO UNITED
JASON REACHER
52 126
40  up romeoshondavan
Rob Hewer
48 124
41  down Your Ad Here
Matthew Hopkins
28 124
42  up Pretty Schitty City
Alex Michaluk
37 123
42  down Yeboah’s Right Foot
Paul Murray
27 123
42  up Jarv88
Paul Jarvis
51 123
45  up Have a little dink
Ian Williams
63 121
46  up Bermie Utd
Glen Davies
51 119
47  down bazza 28 united
laura barrett
25 115
48  down Upper Bullens
Andy Taylor
37 114
49  down Pepe Le Blue
DEAN CRIPPS
26 111
50  down jetty city
scott mcgow
34 81
51  same Pudding And Pie
John Seacroft
23 79

 

It’s the end of August. We have a manager of the month. And an international break. A fortnight off – which is handy, because I’m off on holiday.

4 Fuchs Ake are our first prize winners. They finish the month at the top of the table on 184 points, four clear of The Craggy Islanders. I speculated last week that the winner could come from deep within the pack and that was the case. 4 Fuchs Ake leapt from 13th to 1st with an impressive 66 point total. Last week’s leaders, 30:19, fell to 6th, posting only 37 points. Jeff Lamp’s Porsche climbed from 20th to 3rd on the back of a 65 point total. The highest weekly scorers were FTM with 69 points. They were able to jump 25 places in the table from 36 up to 11th.

4 Fuchs Ake hit the top courtesy of our player of the week, Alexis Sanchez, who, as Arsenal finally clicked into gear, scored 16 points, and by handing the captaincy to Eden Hazard. Jeff Lamp’s took the same captaincy option – a shrewd move given that neither Sergio or Zlatan could muster anything other than their appearance points this week. Hazard looks fresh after his year off and is the leading points scorer, edging ahead of the two strikers. He’s one of only two players – the other being Diego Costa – to have either scored or assisted in all three games. It’s a stat that suggests this Chelsea team – without European football remember – could be serious contenders for the title – and masses of fantasy points.

FTM’s highest weekly score was helped in no small part by Raheem Sterling’s impressive display against West Ham in which he scored twice and picked up the big bonus marks. Sterling looks fresh after his summer off. His patchy form last season gave him a relatively low starting value. It looks like that has already started to rise on the back of this performance.

It was a week in which three penalties were saved. Artus Boruc’s save from Yohan Cabaye demoted the Frenchman to our donkey of the week award. Lukasz Fabianski kept out Riyad Mahrez’s spot kick. I think we’re all OK with the fact that Mahrez probably won’t replicate his totals of last season, but it’s a slight worry that this was his third penalty miss in 12 months. Shay Given kept out Leighton Baines’ penalty only for it to rebound off the post and then the back of his head to find it’s way into the net. Both did alright out of it. Given was awarded points for the save and five more bonus marks for his performance and the eight other saves he made in the match. Baines was curiously credited with the assist to the goal as well as his clean sheet points. You’d have got 17 points out of two players – one of whom scored an own goal and the other who missed a pen.

 

Player of the week – Alexis Sanchez – 16 points. Arsenal wake up.

Bargain of the week – Shay Given – 10 points. One of nine second choice keepers who made appearances at the weekend.

Donkey of the week – Yohan Cabaye – -1 points. Miserable start by Palace.

Goal of the week – Eden Hazard.

%d bloggers like this: