Gameweek 25 results

Well done everyone – we all learnt our lesson from last week. We all captained Salah. And as a result there wasn’t much to choose between our challengers at the top. In fact there was only 15 points difference in scores among all of our top 13 teams. Bottom of that pile are Locky’s who’ve had a couple of stinkers lately and dropped to fifth. They’ve suffered an overall rank drop of around 70k from a season high of around 2,000th in GW11, picking up seven red arrows in the last nine weeks. Is it all over for them? Joining them, with some pretty drastic plummeting from the top 10, are Musttryharder, who inexplicably captained Isaac Hayden this weekend and have dropped 300,000 places in three weeks – and Ginger Fizz, who have fallen the same amount of places over a five week period. This week they managed to score even lower than the total that recently saw them eliminated from the Last Man Standing competition. All three need to turn it round. Is it wildcard time?

1
Game of Stones
Ryan Garoghan
57 1488
2
FC Caligula
Ajay Supeda
64 1466
3
DaSilvaortheFreD
Stephen Papadopoulos
70 1464
4
Nashton Villa
Jaime Nash
69 1462
5
Locky Bauer Bowyer
Paul Hawkins
55 1459
6
Rip Roaring Reds
Sean Whyton
67 1448
7
Atlético Chappers
Richard Chapman
63 1448
8
BASHAM’S ARRIVING!
Tim Dodd
60 1434
9
Sterling Silva
DEAN CRIPPS
68 1430
10
Edgbaston
Micheal Dinneen
57 1424

Last week FTM chalked up the highest weekly score for the third time this season, becoming the first team to do so. This week that feat has been matched by Rock Ya-Sin. 51 of their 78 points came from Liverpool assets. Last week they suffered as a result of Mane’s injury, although captained Andy Robertson and had Jordan Henderson in their midfield. This week, switching Mane to Salah, and captaining him, as well as sticking with Henderson, has seen them climb the league. Is Jordan Henderson all of a sudden a viable fantasy asset? Certainly while Mane’s away it maybe worth taking advantage of the captain, an ever present, and a Jack Grealish cheaper.

Continued congratulations to Red n White, who carry on defying gravity and survive the Last Man Standing cull for another week by a single point, while sticking in 59th place in the league. They’ve also progressed from the preliminary round of the cup. The first round proper starts next week and our league leaders won’t be there. Game Of Stones were knocked out by Bielsa Ringing, who now face another top 10 team in Rip Roaring Reds. Check out the full cup results rundown and the draw for the next round via the link.

Manager of the week – Paul Bentz – Rock Ya-Sin – 78 points

Player of the week – Robert Snodgrass – West Ham United – 18 points

Bargain of the week – Tim Krul – Norwich City – 10 points

Twat of the week – Oleksandr Zinchenko – Manchester City – -3 points

Goal of the week – Steven Bergwijn. 

Gameweek 24 and January Manager of the Month results

The week (or fortnight) in which it all changed. Liverpool’s double gameweek. Probably not their last of the season but that didn’t stop the majority of us and the rest of the world jumping on the prospect of some massive scores from the runaway Premier League leaders, particularly in their match against West Ham. Some major transfer activity ensued. Can we squeeze in three Reds players? It was a move made easier by timely injuries to Jamie Vardy and Marcus Rashford. And then the triple captains started landing. You had a choice, depending on the make up of your team and your propensity for a bit of gambling, of sticking it on one of six players – two obvious and four hipster. There shouldn’t have been a massive amount of difference between picking Mo Salah and Sadio Mane. Stats would suggest that both would return something. Roberto Firmino carried slightly more risk, but this is the guy that only scores in away games. He could be the key to a sneaky rank rise if the majority banked on the other two. Or dare you captain a defender? TAA, Robertson and Van Dijk are virtual ever-presents in the middle of an astounding run of clean-sheet shenanigans. Add to that the full-backs’ assist potential.

270,000 managers compared to 220,000 opted for Mane over Salah as their triple captain. The split in the top 100 was 40 to 39 in favour of the Senegalese. Over a million compared to 940,000 went with the standard captain choice on Mane. Selecting Sadio Mane WAS NOT A BAD IDEA. Keep telling yourself that. In the end the best choice was Jordan Henderson, who equaled Salah’s score, but at well under half the price. 

So, selecting Salah would have got you 48 points to Mane’s 3, and it’s pretty easy, scanning the Buckets league to pick out those that went with the former over the latter. That 45 point difference is evident in a lot of scores. Most notably, right at the top. We have new leaders, and instantly by some distance. Game Of Stones got it right. Locky Bauer Bowyer did not.

1
Game of Stones
Ryan Garoghan
811431
2
Locky Bauer Bowyer
Paul Hawkins
441408
3
FC Caligula
Ajay Supeda
811402
4
DaSilvaortheFreD
Stephen Papadopoulos
841394
5
Nashton Villa
Jaime Nash
701393
6
Atlético Chappers
Richard Chapman
701389
7
Rip Roaring Reds
Sean Whyton
771381
8
Sterling Silva
DEAN CRIPPS
371378
9
BASHAM’S ARRIVING!
Tim Dodd
791378
10
Edgbaston
Micheal Dinneen
541367

Considering what was expected of the week, the scores were, on the whole, a bit underwhelming. The average was a disappointing 55 points. But for the Liverpool v West Ham game, in which Salah’s haul and the clean sheet justified the non-Mane captainers selections, the rest of the week was pretty soul-destroying. Southampton and Burnley returned unexpected clean sheets, Everton lost one in the final minute to a Florian Lejeune double. I mean, we all saw that one coming didn’t we? There was a Leicester goal blitz but with no involvement from either Vardy or Maddison – and then they conceded. Most teams are littered with one and two point hauls plus whatever Liverpool returns you managed.

Our top scorers were FTM and Chef Utd. Both hit 89 points. FTM win the place on the honours board courtesy of the four goals they scored to Chef Utd’s two. To contradict everything I’ve just said about the gameweek, they only relied on two Liverpool assets and got pretty good returns out of the rest of their squad. They could even afford to have a 10 point Jorginho haul sat on their bench. They become the first three-time manager of the week winners this season.

Manager of the month went to The Craggy Islanders. Despite the contrasting scores and fortunes of a lot of teams in the league, the standings didn’t alter much from last week to this. Most of those in contention posted scores in the 70s and 80s, suggesting they all got their double gameweek picks just about right. The Islanders triple captained Salah.

1
The Craggy Islanders
Adrian Roche
81271
2
Alisson Wonderland
Scott Denyer
85264
3
BASHAM’S ARRIVING!
Tim Dodd
79254
4
Game of Stones
Ryan Garoghan
81253
5
DaSilvaortheFreD
Stephen Papadopoulos
84252
6
Rip Roaring Reds
Sean Whyton
77251

The Buckets Cup starts next gameweek. So if you’re cursing your Mane luck, put that behind you and focus on the cup. To confirm, the three teams with a bye to the second round are The Craggy Islanders, as last years winners, and Cook Pass Babtridge and Locky Bauer Bowyer as the two highest weekly scores so far this season. Check the cup link for the draw. Also, it’s worth mentioning that the Last Man Standing competition is now past half way. We have 30 teams left. Nine of our current top ten remain, with Edgbaston being a casualty in GW18. Ren n White, currently in 59th place, are the lowest team still (just about) standing. Check that link to see if you’re still there. 

 

January manager of the month – Adrian Roche – The Craggy Islanders – 271 points

Manager of the week – Stu Smith – FTM – 89 points (4 goals)

Player of the week – Jordan Henderson – Liverpool – 16 points

Bargain of the week – Florian Lejeune – Newcastle United – 14 points

Twat of the week – David Luiz – Arsenal – -3 points

Goal of the week – Jay Rodriguez

Gameweek 22 results

Last week FTM scored 26 points. It was their lowest total of the season and saw them exit the Last Man Standing competition. Fast forward seven days and with just one transfer made, they’re this week’s outstanding team. It’s even more spectacular when considering that the transfer they made was to switch Harry Kane for, of all people, Troy Deeney. Deeney’s goal, Jorginho’s promotion from the bench and Rashford coming through as captain combined to help FTM make back most of the 600,000 or so places lost by last week’s horror show. They shared their 81 point haul with Queen Of The North, but FTM outscored them by six goals to five.

1
Locky Bauer Bowyer
Paul Hawkins
63 1329
2
Game of Stones
Ryan Garoghan
62 1300
3
Sterling Silva
DEAN CRIPPS
65 1295
4
FC Caligula
Ajay Supeda
60 1290
5
Atlético Chappers
Richard Chapman
60 1288
6
musttryharder fc
Paul Telford
73 1282
7
Edgbaston
Micheal Dinneen
66 1279
8
Rip Roaring Reds
Sean Whyton
60 1259
9
DaSilvaortheFreD
Stephen Papadopoulos
66 1259
10
Nashton Villa
Jaime Nash
54 1254

There wasn’t much to choose between managers this week. Three top ten teams managed 60 points and most of the league posted around that total. Very few dipped below 50 or crept above 70. Musttryharder made the most ground within the top ten with a 73 point total, climbing one place in Buckets and 100,000 overall. It came with the help of a bench boost that added an extra 9 points. We’ll have to wait and see whether that was an ill-judged move ahead of double gameweek season. Also interesting to see that Locky’s have played their new wildcard already.

Regards Last Man Standing – I think we’re getting to the stage now where no-one’s really safe from elimination, regardless of where you are in the league. Soup-or-Boom, currently in 11th, left us this week, scoring 49 points along with Cook Pass Babtridge, scoring 48. Nashton, currently in 10th, were next on the chopping block with 54 points. That’s only three below the overall average score for the gameweek. Having said that, So Klose Yet So VAR, presently in 52nd place, are still going strong. We’re almost half way there with this competition. After GW24 there’ll be more teams eliminated than standing. Getting somewhere around average may not be enough to save you.

Manager of the week – FTM – Stu Smith – 81 ponts (6 goals)

Player of the week – Sergio Aguero – Manchester City – 20 points

Bargain of the week – Abdoulaye Doucoure – Watford – 14 points

Twat of the week – Tyrone Mings – Aston Villa – -1 points

Goal of the week – Richarlison. 45s in

 

Gameweek 13 results

There is only one captain choice for double digit and regular 20+ point returns at the moment. Jamie Vardy seems capable of scoring against any opposition. He has become the first player to pass the 100 point barrier this season and with his next four fixtures being against bottom half teams in dreadful form, why not just set him up with the armband and leave it? He could quite conceivably return another 80 points by the end of that run. Looking for alternatives could cost you dearly regardless of who anybody else may be playing. Sadie Mane’s form and record against Palace tempted a few people this week. In the 82nd minute on Saturday, Palace equalised, wiping out Mane’s clean sheet point and putting his full bonus haul in jeopardy, while Vardy despatched his retaken penalty to assure his top bonus and kill Brighton off.

He’s no James Tarkowski, mind. The Burnley defender is the weekly top scorer for a second consecutive gameweek with a defender’s full house. If he makes it a hat trick, I’m retiring.

1
Locky Bauer Bowyer
Paul Hawkins
67 822
2
Sterling Silva
DEAN CRIPPS
69 799
3
Game of Stones
Ryan Garoghan
72 790
4
FC Caligula
Ajay Supeda
64 786
5
Atlético Chappers
Richard Chapman
73 780
6
GingerFizz
Noel Driver
64 769
7
musttryharder fc
Paul Telford
70 759
8
DaSilvaortheFreD
Stephen Papadopoulos
64 750
9
Soup-or-Boom.
Ian Driver
80 748
10
Edgbaston
Micheal Dinneen
64 739

The Mane captain choice was favoured by our highest scoring manager this week. FTM had nine out of eleven players returning to post an 85 point score. It moves them up to third in the November manager of the month table. There could realistically be as many as 20 managers in the hunt for our latest prize. Not many points separate a lot of teams.

Manager of the week – FTM – Stu Smith – 85 points

Player of the week – James Tarkowski – Burnley – 17 points

Bargain of the week – John Fleck – Sheffield United – 13 points

Twat of the week – Simon Francis – Bournemouth – -3 points

Goal of the week – Joao Moutinho.

Gameweek 28 results and February Manager of the Month

1  same But Da Pitch Ain’t 1
Trev Reams
54 1750
2  same The Craggy Islanders
Adrian Roche
66 1748
3  same Perfidious Albion
Andrew Swift
78 1738
4  same Neil Madrid
Neil Strong
65 1699
5  same Bielsa Ringing
Alan Hardy
63 1681
6  up INIT FC
Mustafa khan
71 1647
7  same FTM
Stu Smith
58 1641
8  down Shoelace Untied
Caroline Strong
46 1639
9  same Edgbaston
Micheal Dinneen
43 1600
10  up FC Caligula
Ajay Supeda
64 1600
11  down King raggg
Steven Darling
37 1590
12  down Frostee Rucker
Paul Bentz
41 1588
13  down Deeney in a Bottle
Stephanie Cripps
50 1588
14  up Rip Roaring Reds
Sean Whyton
62 1579
15  down Game of Stones
Ryan Garoghan
39 1560
16  same SLABHEAD FC
Adam Burnett
63 1557
17  up Aribo Haribo
Paul Hawkins
49 1552
18  down Fake Madrid
Andrew Wade
46 1551
19  up RICO UNITED
JASON REACHER
73 1549
20  same Upper Bullens
Andy Taylor
47 1541
21  down Mour Salt and Pep
Noel Driver
43 1538
22  down Nashton Villa
Jaime Nash
46 1524
23  same Dinamo Spinks
David Spinks
57 1523
24  same Cookie fc
Peter Cook
50 1510
25  up Pretty Schitty City
Alex Michaluk
79 1503
26  down Kompany & Co
DEAN CRIPPS
38 1496
27  down Musttryharder fc
Paul Telford
46 1489
28  up Salah Buffoon!!!
Jitesh Lakhani
60 1479
29  same Your Ad Here
Matthew Hopkins
50 1470
30  same Atlético Chappers
Richard Chapman
50 1470
31  down Kebab Eaters Utd
Paul Howard
48 1470
32  up The Big Lewandowski
Paul Callaghan
53 1469
33  down PenshawPerformers
david bruce
52 1468
34  same Real Jorvik
Simon Brown
49 1462
35  up Crazy Leg XI
David Caldicott
70 1460
36  up QUEEN OF THE NORTH
DORINE REACHER
84 1456
37  down Need son luck
Matt Jarvis
44 1456
38  down El Loco No Joko
Paul Murray
43 1454
39  down Morningblues
Jeff Morning
54 1445
40  down Hemel Hotspurs
Paul Jarvis
35 1440
41  down romeoshondavan
Rob Hewer
37 1429
42  same Pique Blinders
Colin Goulding
58 1423
43  down ClipityKlopptotitle
tanya thursby
38 1419
44  up Hoose Reus
James Whitfield
58 1405
45  up Greeeenteeam
adam greenwood
67 1397
46  down Dropit like its Hart
Jason Earwicker
28 1394
47  same It’s coming home
scott mcgow
69 1383
48  same Puddle Splash Van
Ian Williams
53 1327
49  same The Mindless Morons
John Seacroft
51 1295
50  same Ross’s champions
darren frankland
62 1241

 

Top of the league – But Da Pitch Ain’t 1 – Trev Reams – 1750 points

Da Pitch still hold the lead, but it’s only a slender two points over the surging Craggy Islanders who are on the hunt for the second title. Perfidious sit third and only ten points further back after a resurgent week, and although not completely out of touch and out of contention for the title, Neil Madrid and Bielsa Ringing will need near perfect run-ins to catch those sides ahead of them. And we probably shouldn’t rule out the possibility of INIT, FTM or Shoelace sneaking into fourth place. We’re entering silly season, as the blank and double gameweeks begin to form and chip tactics come into play. We’re faced with only five fixtures in GW31 and the likelihood of a similar figure in GW33, depending on the outcome of the next round of the FA Cup. Already Manchester United have had two of their fixtures rearranged and moved to the middle of gameweeks 32 and 35. Expect the other successful cup teams to see their fixtures moved to the same midweek slots. Of the leading contenders, The Craggy Islanders, Perfidious Albion, Neil Madrid and Bielsa Ringing have all of their chips and their wildcard remaining. Da Pitch just have their chips to play. FTM Have their wildcard but bench-boosted in GW10, whereas INIT have no wildcards or triple captain and Shoelace have no wildcards or free hit. Negotiating the next few weeks could be tricky without at least one of the wildcard or free hit still in the bag. And it shouldn’t all be about the leaders, as a perfectly played strategy of wildcards and chips could hand any team anywhere in the league any of the next three manager of the month awards. It might also be something the semi-finalists of the Buckets Cup want to consider…

Buckets Cup quarter finals

Although maybe not in the case of The Craggy Islanders or Neil Madrid who probably have their eyes on a bigger prize. And that may play into the hands of Fake Madrid and Kebab Eaters who are the other two teams to progress to the last four. The Islanders beat Da Pitch as Madrid saw off FTM in the two top ten clashes. The Islanders will play Fake Madrid, who beat El Loco No Joko, who inexplicably kept Virgil Van Dyk and Sergio Aguero on the bench?!?!?!? Kebab Eaters edged past Mour Salt and Pep to face Neil Madrid. It could be a Madrid derby final.

February manager of the month – Atletico Chappers – Richard Chapman – 309 points

Thanks to their top 2,000 in the world weekly score of GW27 and consolidating with a steady 50 pointer this week, Chappers pinch the February prize. I’m not sure they were really in it at all before hitting the dizzy heights at the weekend. They have Gerard Deulefeu to thank and did so by benching him for their hammering at the hands of Liverpool last night.

Manager of the week – Queen Of The North – Dorine Reacher – 84 points

A week for defenders this week and QOTN lined up two of the big scorers – Schar and Robertson – in their team. They amassed 43 points from those two and their other defender, Ashley Young, who chipped in with a goal, and their keeper, Allison. They wouldn’t be picking up this award however had it not been for a Marko Arnautovic no-show. Although quite what Sadio Mane was doing warming the bench is anyone’s guess given his present run of form of six goals in six games.

Player of the week – Virgil Van Dyk – Liverpool – 20 points

It would have been 51 points had Van Dyk been lined alongside them in a triple up Liverpool defence. It’s not a ludicrous idea given that they’re three of the six highest scoring defenders in the game and that Liverpool have more clean sheets than anyone else so far this season. They could surpass 20 which would be a great achievement. It bodes well for the weeks ahead in which Liverpool play every week. They have no doubles, but they also have no blanks.

Bargain of the week – Fabian Schar – Newcastle United – 15 points

There aren’t many players with two weekly player awards so far this season. Fabian Schar is probably the most unexpected recipient. A clean sheet and a wondergoal always equals top bonus. Newcastle will play the blank gameweek in 31, and have other potential clean sheet matches between now and then.

Twat of the week – Kieran Trippier – Tottenham Hotspur – -1 points

A wonderful own goal that totally wrong footed Hugo Lloris, a World Cup winning captain no less. Tottenham’s meltdown might have started a few weeks earlier this season.

Goal of the week – Fabian Schar.