Gameweek 22 results

Last week FTM scored 26 points. It was their lowest total of the season and saw them exit the Last Man Standing competition. Fast forward seven days and with just one transfer made, they’re this week’s outstanding team. It’s even more spectacular when considering that the transfer they made was to switch Harry Kane for, of all people, Troy Deeney. Deeney’s goal, Jorginho’s promotion from the bench and Rashford coming through as captain combined to help FTM make back most of the 600,000 or so places lost by last week’s horror show. They shared their 81 point haul with Queen Of The North, but FTM outscored them by six goals to five.

1
Locky Bauer Bowyer
Paul Hawkins
63 1329
2
Game of Stones
Ryan Garoghan
62 1300
3
Sterling Silva
DEAN CRIPPS
65 1295
4
FC Caligula
Ajay Supeda
60 1290
5
Atlético Chappers
Richard Chapman
60 1288
6
musttryharder fc
Paul Telford
73 1282
7
Edgbaston
Micheal Dinneen
66 1279
8
Rip Roaring Reds
Sean Whyton
60 1259
9
DaSilvaortheFreD
Stephen Papadopoulos
66 1259
10
Nashton Villa
Jaime Nash
54 1254

There wasn’t much to choose between managers this week. Three top ten teams managed 60 points and most of the league posted around that total. Very few dipped below 50 or crept above 70. Musttryharder made the most ground within the top ten with a 73 point total, climbing one place in Buckets and 100,000 overall. It came with the help of a bench boost that added an extra 9 points. We’ll have to wait and see whether that was an ill-judged move ahead of double gameweek season. Also interesting to see that Locky’s have played their new wildcard already.

Regards Last Man Standing – I think we’re getting to the stage now where no-one’s really safe from elimination, regardless of where you are in the league. Soup-or-Boom, currently in 11th, left us this week, scoring 49 points along with Cook Pass Babtridge, scoring 48. Nashton, currently in 10th, were next on the chopping block with 54 points. That’s only three below the overall average score for the gameweek. Having said that, So Klose Yet So VAR, presently in 52nd place, are still going strong. We’re almost half way there with this competition. After GW24 there’ll be more teams eliminated than standing. Getting somewhere around average may not be enough to save you.

Manager of the week – FTM – Stu Smith – 81 ponts (6 goals)

Player of the week – Sergio Aguero – Manchester City – 20 points

Bargain of the week – Abdoulaye Doucoure – Watford – 14 points

Twat of the week – Tyrone Mings – Aston Villa – -1 points

Goal of the week – Richarlison. 45s in

 

Gameweek 13 results

There is only one captain choice for double digit and regular 20+ point returns at the moment. Jamie Vardy seems capable of scoring against any opposition. He has become the first player to pass the 100 point barrier this season and with his next four fixtures being against bottom half teams in dreadful form, why not just set him up with the armband and leave it? He could quite conceivably return another 80 points by the end of that run. Looking for alternatives could cost you dearly regardless of who anybody else may be playing. Sadie Mane’s form and record against Palace tempted a few people this week. In the 82nd minute on Saturday, Palace equalised, wiping out Mane’s clean sheet point and putting his full bonus haul in jeopardy, while Vardy despatched his retaken penalty to assure his top bonus and kill Brighton off.

He’s no James Tarkowski, mind. The Burnley defender is the weekly top scorer for a second consecutive gameweek with a defender’s full house. If he makes it a hat trick, I’m retiring.

1
Locky Bauer Bowyer
Paul Hawkins
67 822
2
Sterling Silva
DEAN CRIPPS
69 799
3
Game of Stones
Ryan Garoghan
72 790
4
FC Caligula
Ajay Supeda
64 786
5
Atlético Chappers
Richard Chapman
73 780
6
GingerFizz
Noel Driver
64 769
7
musttryharder fc
Paul Telford
70 759
8
DaSilvaortheFreD
Stephen Papadopoulos
64 750
9
Soup-or-Boom.
Ian Driver
80 748
10
Edgbaston
Micheal Dinneen
64 739

The Mane captain choice was favoured by our highest scoring manager this week. FTM had nine out of eleven players returning to post an 85 point score. It moves them up to third in the November manager of the month table. There could realistically be as many as 20 managers in the hunt for our latest prize. Not many points separate a lot of teams.

Manager of the week – FTM – Stu Smith – 85 points

Player of the week – James Tarkowski – Burnley – 17 points

Bargain of the week – John Fleck – Sheffield United – 13 points

Twat of the week – Simon Francis – Bournemouth – -3 points

Goal of the week – Joao Moutinho.

Gameweek 28 results and February Manager of the Month

1  same But Da Pitch Ain’t 1
Trev Reams
54 1750
2  same The Craggy Islanders
Adrian Roche
66 1748
3  same Perfidious Albion
Andrew Swift
78 1738
4  same Neil Madrid
Neil Strong
65 1699
5  same Bielsa Ringing
Alan Hardy
63 1681
6  up INIT FC
Mustafa khan
71 1647
7  same FTM
Stu Smith
58 1641
8  down Shoelace Untied
Caroline Strong
46 1639
9  same Edgbaston
Micheal Dinneen
43 1600
10  up FC Caligula
Ajay Supeda
64 1600
11  down King raggg
Steven Darling
37 1590
12  down Frostee Rucker
Paul Bentz
41 1588
13  down Deeney in a Bottle
Stephanie Cripps
50 1588
14  up Rip Roaring Reds
Sean Whyton
62 1579
15  down Game of Stones
Ryan Garoghan
39 1560
16  same SLABHEAD FC
Adam Burnett
63 1557
17  up Aribo Haribo
Paul Hawkins
49 1552
18  down Fake Madrid
Andrew Wade
46 1551
19  up RICO UNITED
JASON REACHER
73 1549
20  same Upper Bullens
Andy Taylor
47 1541
21  down Mour Salt and Pep
Noel Driver
43 1538
22  down Nashton Villa
Jaime Nash
46 1524
23  same Dinamo Spinks
David Spinks
57 1523
24  same Cookie fc
Peter Cook
50 1510
25  up Pretty Schitty City
Alex Michaluk
79 1503
26  down Kompany & Co
DEAN CRIPPS
38 1496
27  down Musttryharder fc
Paul Telford
46 1489
28  up Salah Buffoon!!!
Jitesh Lakhani
60 1479
29  same Your Ad Here
Matthew Hopkins
50 1470
30  same Atlético Chappers
Richard Chapman
50 1470
31  down Kebab Eaters Utd
Paul Howard
48 1470
32  up The Big Lewandowski
Paul Callaghan
53 1469
33  down PenshawPerformers
david bruce
52 1468
34  same Real Jorvik
Simon Brown
49 1462
35  up Crazy Leg XI
David Caldicott
70 1460
36  up QUEEN OF THE NORTH
DORINE REACHER
84 1456
37  down Need son luck
Matt Jarvis
44 1456
38  down El Loco No Joko
Paul Murray
43 1454
39  down Morningblues
Jeff Morning
54 1445
40  down Hemel Hotspurs
Paul Jarvis
35 1440
41  down romeoshondavan
Rob Hewer
37 1429
42  same Pique Blinders
Colin Goulding
58 1423
43  down ClipityKlopptotitle
tanya thursby
38 1419
44  up Hoose Reus
James Whitfield
58 1405
45  up Greeeenteeam
adam greenwood
67 1397
46  down Dropit like its Hart
Jason Earwicker
28 1394
47  same It’s coming home
scott mcgow
69 1383
48  same Puddle Splash Van
Ian Williams
53 1327
49  same The Mindless Morons
John Seacroft
51 1295
50  same Ross’s champions
darren frankland
62 1241

 

Top of the league – But Da Pitch Ain’t 1 – Trev Reams – 1750 points

Da Pitch still hold the lead, but it’s only a slender two points over the surging Craggy Islanders who are on the hunt for the second title. Perfidious sit third and only ten points further back after a resurgent week, and although not completely out of touch and out of contention for the title, Neil Madrid and Bielsa Ringing will need near perfect run-ins to catch those sides ahead of them. And we probably shouldn’t rule out the possibility of INIT, FTM or Shoelace sneaking into fourth place. We’re entering silly season, as the blank and double gameweeks begin to form and chip tactics come into play. We’re faced with only five fixtures in GW31 and the likelihood of a similar figure in GW33, depending on the outcome of the next round of the FA Cup. Already Manchester United have had two of their fixtures rearranged and moved to the middle of gameweeks 32 and 35. Expect the other successful cup teams to see their fixtures moved to the same midweek slots. Of the leading contenders, The Craggy Islanders, Perfidious Albion, Neil Madrid and Bielsa Ringing have all of their chips and their wildcard remaining. Da Pitch just have their chips to play. FTM Have their wildcard but bench-boosted in GW10, whereas INIT have no wildcards or triple captain and Shoelace have no wildcards or free hit. Negotiating the next few weeks could be tricky without at least one of the wildcard or free hit still in the bag. And it shouldn’t all be about the leaders, as a perfectly played strategy of wildcards and chips could hand any team anywhere in the league any of the next three manager of the month awards. It might also be something the semi-finalists of the Buckets Cup want to consider…

Buckets Cup quarter finals

Although maybe not in the case of The Craggy Islanders or Neil Madrid who probably have their eyes on a bigger prize. And that may play into the hands of Fake Madrid and Kebab Eaters who are the other two teams to progress to the last four. The Islanders beat Da Pitch as Madrid saw off FTM in the two top ten clashes. The Islanders will play Fake Madrid, who beat El Loco No Joko, who inexplicably kept Virgil Van Dyk and Sergio Aguero on the bench?!?!?!? Kebab Eaters edged past Mour Salt and Pep to face Neil Madrid. It could be a Madrid derby final.

February manager of the month – Atletico Chappers – Richard Chapman – 309 points

Thanks to their top 2,000 in the world weekly score of GW27 and consolidating with a steady 50 pointer this week, Chappers pinch the February prize. I’m not sure they were really in it at all before hitting the dizzy heights at the weekend. They have Gerard Deulefeu to thank and did so by benching him for their hammering at the hands of Liverpool last night.

Manager of the week – Queen Of The North – Dorine Reacher – 84 points

A week for defenders this week and QOTN lined up two of the big scorers – Schar and Robertson – in their team. They amassed 43 points from those two and their other defender, Ashley Young, who chipped in with a goal, and their keeper, Allison. They wouldn’t be picking up this award however had it not been for a Marko Arnautovic no-show. Although quite what Sadio Mane was doing warming the bench is anyone’s guess given his present run of form of six goals in six games.

Player of the week – Virgil Van Dyk – Liverpool – 20 points

It would have been 51 points had Van Dyk been lined alongside them in a triple up Liverpool defence. It’s not a ludicrous idea given that they’re three of the six highest scoring defenders in the game and that Liverpool have more clean sheets than anyone else so far this season. They could surpass 20 which would be a great achievement. It bodes well for the weeks ahead in which Liverpool play every week. They have no doubles, but they also have no blanks.

Bargain of the week – Fabian Schar – Newcastle United – 15 points

There aren’t many players with two weekly player awards so far this season. Fabian Schar is probably the most unexpected recipient. A clean sheet and a wondergoal always equals top bonus. Newcastle will play the blank gameweek in 31, and have other potential clean sheet matches between now and then.

Twat of the week – Kieran Trippier – Tottenham Hotspur – -1 points

A wonderful own goal that totally wrong footed Hugo Lloris, a World Cup winning captain no less. Tottenham’s meltdown might have started a few weeks earlier this season.

Goal of the week – Fabian Schar.

Gameweek 14 and November Manager of the Month

1  same Neil Madrid
Neil Strong
63 898
2  same But Da Pitch Ain’t 1
Trev Reams
65 895
3  same Perfidious Albion
Andrew Swift
48 869
4  same The Craggy Islanders
Adrian Roche
61 862
5  up Thelma and Luiz
Trevor Gordon
63 830
6  up Edgbaston
Micheal Dinneen
65 826
7  down Game of Stones
Ryan Garoghan
45 824
8  up SLABHEAD FC
Adam Burnett
62 823
9  down Cookie fc
Peter Cook
52 821
10  down Upper Bullens
Andy Taylor
48 821
11  down FC Caligula
Ajay Supeda
53 819
12  same Deeney in a Bottle
Stephanie Cripps
54 812
13  up FTM
Stu Smith
76 807
14  down Bielsa Ringing
Alan Hardy
51 802
15  same King raggg
Steven Darling
57 798
16  up Frostee Rucker
Paul Bentz
63 790
17  up Your Ad Here
Matthew Hopkins
52 790
18  down Shoelace Untied
Caroline Strong
55 787
19  down Need son luck
Matt Jarvis
51 785
20  down RICO UNITED
JASON REACHER
34 782
21  up INIT FC
Mustafa khan
65 782
22  down Pretty Schitty City
Alex Michaluk
56 776
23  down Musttryharder fc
Paul Telford
53 773
24  up Hoose Reus
James Whitfield
73 761
25  same Nashton Villa
Jaime Nash
49 754
26  up Mour Salt and Pep
Noel Driver
54 753
27  down Kompany & Co
DEAN CRIPPS
44 752
28  down Morningblues
Jeff Morning
30 733
29  down Crazy Leg XI
David Caldicott
44 732
30  up Pique Blinders
Colin Goulding
59 730
31  same romeoshondavan
Rob Hewer
50 730
32  same QUEEN OF THE NORTH
DORINE REACHER
56 729
33  down Aribo Haribo
Paul Hawkins
45 726
34  up PenshawPerformers
david bruce
59 724
35  same Rip Roaring Reds
Sean Whyton
55 719
36  up Fake Madrid
Andrew Wade
53 715
37  down The Big Lewandowski
Paul Callaghan
39 711
38  up Salah Buffoon!!!
Jitesh Lakhani
54 708
39  down Dinamo Spinks
David Spinks
46 703
40  same Dropit like its Hart
Jason Earwicker
47 699
41  same Real Jorvik
Simon Brown
43 689
42  up ClipityKlopptotitle
tanya thursby
58 688
43  down El Loco No Joko
Paul Murray
46 680
44  same Kebab Eaters Utd
Paul Howard
42 670
45  same Hemel Hotspurs
Paul Jarvis
51 664
46  up Greeeenteeam
adam greenwood
47 650
47  down Puddle Splash Van
Ian Williams
46 648
48  down It’s coming home
scott mcgow
50 642
49  same Atlético Chappers
Richard Chapman
56 617
50  up Ross’s champions
darren frankland
71 594
51  down The Mindless Morons
John Seacroft
46 590

 

November Manager of the month – Neil Madrid – Neil Strong – 272 points

Madrid were in fourth at the start of the month, 60 or so points adrift of the top. They now occupy the number one position, having clawed back that gap to take the prize for November. Swapping and off-the-boil Hazard for Raheem Sterling at the point the City man went fantasy nuts was surely the key. Madrid have posted five consecutive green arrow scores that has seen them rise from 196,000 to 13,000 overall. Check me out.

1  same Neil Madrid
Neil Strong
63 272
2  same The Craggy Islanders
Adrian Roche
61 263
3  up FTM
Stu Smith
76 256
4  same Your Ad Here
Matthew Hopkins
52 242
5  down Shoelace Untied
Caroline Strong
55 240

 

Manager of the week – FTM – Stu Smith – 76 points

FTM’s second week winning score in three wasn’t quite enough to push them to the summit of the monthly table, being let down arguably by their GW13 score. Nevertheless, they have climbed from 22nd to the outskirts of the top 10 and look set to push on through December. FTM are loving West Ham right now. Ahead of their favourable run of fixtures they picked up 15 points from Marko Arnautovic and Felipe Anderson. As with many teams, Sterling became default captain through Aguero’s absence, and a five man defence, also popular this week, propspered to he tune of 35 points. Only Jose Holebas failed to deliver a clean sheet.

Player of the week – Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang – Arsenal – 16 points

Maybe game of the season. Maybe the best Arsenal have played in a decade. And as Raheem Sterling became the first player to pass the 100 point barrier, PEA hit his 9th and 10th goals of the season to move within nine points of the same target. Aubameyang comes into serious contention now, particularly with an injury to Sergio Aguero, Liverpool relying on Divock Origi, inevitable City rotation, and no-one quite sure whether Harry Kane is paying well or not. Spurs’ run of fixtures into February could result in a period of heavy scoring for the England captain. Arsenal’s, on paper, don’t look as easy, but their star striker looks capable of scoring past anyone at any time. His overall Premier League record is 20 goals in 27 appearances. With 23 matches of the season remaining, there’s a strong possibility he’ll get close to the 30 goal mark. Why would you want to miss out on all that?

Bargain of the week – Javier Hernandez – West Ham United – 13 points

Somewhat of an unexpected result, but one that should alert fantasy bosses to the potential value of one or two West Ham assets in their team. Hernandez may not start every week however, so maybe steering towards Arnautovic or Anderson would reap more rewards. West Ham don’t play a top six team again until GW22.

Twat of the week – Jan Vertonghen – Tottenham Hotspur – -3 points

The game started boiling over in the first half so there was a certain inevitability about a red card being dished out at some point. Vertonghen conceded the penalty and looked rattled throughout until he finally lost it after Arsenal had bagged their 4th goal. Despite the aforementioned fixture swing in favour of Spurs, I wouldn’t go anywhere near any of these defenders.

Goal of the week – Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang. 1m14s in. This game had it all.

Gameweek 12 results

1  same But Da Pitch Ain’t 1
Trev Reams
60 792
2  same Perfidious Albion
Andrew Swift
59 773
3  same Neil Madrid
Neil Strong
59 772
4  up Thelma and Luiz
Trevor Gordon
67 737
5  same The Craggy Islanders
Adrian Roche
55 736
6  down Game of Stones
Ryan Garoghan
46 733
7  up FC Caligula
Ajay Supeda
65 732
8  down Edgbaston
Micheal Dinneen
56 727
9  down Cookie fc
Peter Cook
52 723
10  up Upper Bullens
Andy Taylor
48 712
11  down SLABHEAD FC
Adam Burnett
38 708
12  down Deeney in a Bottle
Stephanie Cripps
36 704
13  up RICO UNITED
JASON REACHER
57 703
14  down King raggg
Steven Darling
55 702
15  same Bielsa Ringing
Alan Hardy
57 700
16  up Shoelace Untied
Caroline Strong
63 685
17  up FTM
Stu Smith
73 682
18  up Musttryharder fc
Paul Telford
62 676
19  up Need son luck
Matt Jarvis
55 676
20  down CAS Vampire Slayers
Mustafa khan
52 672
21  down Frostee Rucker
Paul Bentz
43 669
22  down Mour Salt and Pep
Noel Driver
48 667
23  down Your Ad Here
Matthew Hopkins
45 667
24  up Kompany & Co
DEAN CRIPPS
62 660
25  up Nashton Villa
Jaime Nash
63 652
26  down Pretty Schitty City
Alex Michaluk
43 649
27  up Morningblues
Jeff Morning
66 645
28  up Hoose Reus
James Whitfield
58 643
29  same PenshawPerformers
david bruce
45 636
30  down QUEEN OF THE NORTH
DORINE REACHER
45 632
31  down romeoshondavan
Rob Hewer
43 631
32  up Aribo Haribo
Paul Hawkins
55 630
33  up Fake Madrid
Andrew Wade
56 629
34  down Pique Blinders
Colin Goulding
31 624
35  down The Big Lewandowski
Paul Callaghan
48 624
36  up Crazy Leg XI
David Caldicott
56 614
37  same Salah Buffoon!!!
Jitesh Lakhani
49 613
38  up Rip Roaring Reds
Sean Whyton
53 612
39  down El Loco No Joko
Paul Murray
48 611
40  up Dinamo Spinks
David Spinks
45 600
41  up Real Jorvik
Simon Brown
57 591
42  same ClipityKlopptotitle
tanya thursby
35 588
43  up Kebab Eaters Utd
Paul Howard
56 583
44  down Dropit like its Hart
Jason Earwicker
41 580
45  up Hemel Hotspurs
Paul Jarvis
51 568
46  same It’s coming home
scott mcgow
47 565
47  up Greeeenteeam
adam greenwood
47 563
48  up Puddle Splash Van
Ian Williams
53 554
49  same Atlético Chappers
Richard Chapman
29 535
50  up The Mindless Morons
John Seacroft
46 513

Manager of the week – FTM – Stu Smith – 73 points

FTM are the only team to tip the 70 point barrier this gameweek and in doing so they climb seven places and to within sight of the top 10. Many of the usual captain suspects did their bare minimum bagging a goal or a clean sheet to give a respectable double figure return with the armband – Mo Salah and Sergio Aguero among them. Salah was FTM’s highest scorer with 16. Felipe Anderson was perhaps the star differential, contributing 9 more points to his total, following a 13 point haul last week. The West Ham winger was transferred in by almost 140,000 teams worldwide ahead of their game against Huddersfield this weekend – a tactic worth considering. And that ownership may continue to rise given the favourable run of fixtures his team face from GW14 into the new year.

Player of the week – Juan Foyth – Tottenham Hotspur – 15 points

If you’re a defender and you score and keep a clean sheet you can be almost guaranteed the top bonus marks. Doesn’t matter how shit you play for the rest of the ninety minutes. I’m not sure I’d be rushing to get this guy in. He conceded two penalties last week and despite his 15 points, looked shaky and out of his depth. I’m pretty sure Spurs fans will be a lot happier when either Davinson Sanchez or Jan Vertonghen are back from their injuries. I’m not having him at £5 million either.

Bargain of the week – Salamon Rondon – Newcastle United – 12 points

Promises to be as inconsistent in black and white stripes as he was in blue and white stripes. Rondon has scored the first two of the eight or nine goals he’ll get this season. I predict his next brace will come sometime over Christmas before a four week lay off through injury.

Twat of the week – Dale Stephens – Brighton and Hove Albion – -2 points

Fully deserved twattage for not only out-dirtying, but also losing to a Warnock side.

Goal of the week – Ilkay Gundogan. 4,216,542,164 passes turning Manchester United inside out. Unfortunately I can only find a video with the last two.