Gameweek 23

1	The Craggy Islanders Adrian Roche	77	1497
2	Change Name Richard Clarke	77	1494
3	Cotton & Guns Patrick Martin	89	1470
4	MurderOnZidaneFloor shamil gillani	99	1466
5	Flavian five stars FLAVIAN LITORO	68	1458
6	Your Ad Here Matthew Hopkins	83	1448
7	Finn Harps FPL Trevor Gordon	88	1446
8	Chumbawumba Glenn Kitchener	80	1445
9	Mission Impossible Roy Staines	69	1445
10	Egg Fried Reus Ryan Garoghan	78	1443

11	Blakes11 Steven Darling	88	1441
12	Marsch on Together Michael Williams	75	1438
13	The Ark of Kaark Mark Swift	96	1437
14	Unusual Suspects Harry Birks	91	1436
15	Stranger Mings Harrison Smith	87	1436
16	Red Five mark frankland	81	1435
17	Garnerdonium Paul Hawkins	80	1433
18	Real Cliffe James mulrooney	71	1433
19	Rip Roaring Reds Sean Whyton	79	1432
20	Thunderstruck FC Robert Frost	55	1426

Another double to get our teeth into. A one to go all-out in, perhaps? Three of each of the top two. Won by City – in both real and fantasy terms. Are Arsenal wavering slightly? Bukayo Saka did emerge form the other side as the highest scoring player but he was the only Gunner in double figures. Six City players posted 10 and above.

Another double gives us another week-winning score in and around the century mark, with MurderOnZidaneFloor climbing into the top 5 off the back of a 99 point haul – 74 of which came from their Arsenal/City combination.

Thunderstruck FC and Who Ate All Depays? both scored 55 points and both exit Last Man Standing. Thunderstruck went with not enough City and left 22 points on the bench. Depays, other than Haaland, had no double figure contributions forthcoming from their doublers – and slim pickings elsewhere.

We’ve had the first round of the cup. Most of those that progressed scored in the 80’s and 90’s. There wasn’t much to choose between the majority of scores this week, resulting in some close ties, although no draws (thankfully). Sneaking through with the lowest winning score of 58 points are Yellow Submarine, pipping The Singing Butchers by 5 points. Unlucky losers falling at the first hurdle include Neil Madrid (86), Cotton & Guns (89) and Stranger Mings (87). All could have progressed with a kinder draw. The second round has thrown up one noticable big game – leaders, The Craggy Islanders will face this week’s top scorers, MurderOnZidaneFloor. ShakeItUpAndDown! are our lowest placed surviving team. How much longer can they last? Current holders, It’s A Penal-D, are oot. They will not retain their title, or claim a record third trophy.

Manager of the week	Shamil Gillani	MurderOnZidaneFloor	99 pts
Player of the week	Bukayo Saka	Arsenal	15 pts
Bargain of the week	Kelechi Iheanacho	Leicester City	12 pts
Twat of the week	Mario Lemina	Wolverhampton Wanderers	-2 pts

Goal of the week

Who? Nampalys Mendy at 23s

Gamewek 10 results

1	Flavian five stars FLAVIAN LITORO	74	635
2	MurderOnZidaneFloor shamil gillani	75	625
3	Pain in Diaz Richard Clarke	70	620
4	Egg Fried Reus Ryan Garoghan	70	619
5	Real Cliffe James mulrooney	73	616
6	Fritzel Palace Trev Reams	71	614
7	Finn Harps FPL Trevor Gordon	67	614
8	Neil Madrid Neil Strong	89	612
9	Marsch on Together Michael Williams	83	611
10	HHB All-stars Simon Barker	69	605

11	Yellow Submarine Ben Lawson	70	604
12	Thunderstruck FC Robert Frost	64	602
13	Upper Bullens Andy Taylor	60	601
14	FCChummy Nathan Cameron	69	601
15	Rip Roaring Reds Sean Whyton	74	592
16	Moves Like Agger Ben Jacklin	74	591
17	Afternoon De Ligt Paul Callaghan	65	590
18	Look No Haalands FC Stephen Jones	66	587
18	Blakes11 Steven Darling	64	587
20	Leddersford Town Tim Dodd	73	583

Winners of the week are Neil Madrid with 89 points. It was a week in which 64 of the 69 Buckets managers picked Erling Haaland as their captain and so it all depended on what was going on elsewhere in your team. Top scorer was Joao Cancelo. It was handy to have him. And Arsenal players, whom many jumped off worried for the Liverpool backlash that’s looking less likely to materialise with each passing week. Madrid had Cancelo and their Arsenal contingent contributed 32 points to their total.

MinaMinaChickenDigne and The Singing Butchers were dumped from Last Man Standing. MinaMina drafted in Raheem Sterling and Pierre Aubameyang only for neither to play. Chelsea dispatched of Wolves fairly easily, so they’d likely have contributed something had they played. The Butchers fell foul of having no-one available on their bunch to step in for the injured Mitrovic. Another 2 points would likely have seen them safe for another week.

Manager of the week	Neil Strong	Neil Madrid	89 pts
Player of the week	Joao Cancelo	Manchester City	18 pts
Bargain of the week	Bruno Guimaraes	Newcastle United	15 pts
Twat of the week	Ethan Pinnock	Brentford	-2 pts

Goal of the week

From the start, Alex Iwobi.

Gameweek 35 results and April Manager of the Month

1	MurderonZidaneFloor shamil gillani	41	2319
2	Panic! At the Xisco Ryan Garoghan	58	2315
3	Cotton & Guns Patrick Martin	45	2315
4	Alice in wonderland Tim Dodd	75	2313
5	HHB All-stars Simon Barker	94	2311
6	Moves like Agger Ben Jacklin	39	2297
7	Mr. Sitter Mr D Boy	63	2271
8	Homerton Academical Adam Burnett	69	2249
9	The Craggy Islanders Adrian Roche	75	2248
10	Finn Harps FPL Trevor Gordon	45	2235

11	Lukaku KyleWalker Stephen Jones	37	2229
12	Mission Impossible Roy Staines	73	2209
13	Yellow Fever Ben Lawson	68	2206
14	DaSilvaOrTheFred Stephen Papadopoulos	44	2175
15	Neil Madrid Neil Strong	35	2159
16	FC Caligula Ajay Supeda	33	2148
17	Init FC!! Mustafa khan	24	2135
18	Rip Roaring Reds Sean Whyton	29	2132
19	Dummett about mary Dan Pickering	59	2127
20	But da Pitch Ain’t 1 Trev Reams	46	2126

HHB All Stars’ 94 points was nearly the mammoth score required to pinch top spot in the race for the April manager of the month…but not quite. Nash’s Villains hung on and clinched it by two points. The Villains 60 points was actually pretty respectable and well above average in itself, facilitating an almost 100k overall rank rise.

HHB’s 94 points however, was something else. It was a perfectly timed and almost perfectly played free hit, within the top 5k for weekly rank. Ironically, Mo Salah was the All Stars’ worst performer. It was the games second highest scorer, Son Heung-Min, who really shone. He’s moved to being just 33 points behind Salah overall. Could he actually catch him? HHB captained the Spurs man in what might have been seen as a slightly risky move given Spurs’ profligacy in front of goal in recent weeks. Spurs (and HHB) took advantage of a weakened Leicester with their eyes elsewhere.

There was such a wide spread of points this week. In simple terms, those achieving big rank rises opted away from Salah with the arm band. You get an inkling about an imminent benching and lots of managers maybe saw that looming, plus form and fixture no doubt had a say. Those captaining Son already had a 36 point swing. HHB scored around three times as many points as some other teams in the top 20.

Obviously, that was more than enough to keep them in the Last Man Standing race. As happens so frequently, and strangely, the team that hits the jackpot one week falls flat on it’s arse the next. Neil Madrid exit with 35. Joining them are FC Caligula – neither a victim of the Salah captain choice but of a failed punt on Philippe Coutinho – and no Spurs.

April Manager of the month	Jaime Nash	Nash’s Villains	349 pts
Manager of the week	Simon Barker	HHB All Stars	94 pts
Player of the week	Heung-Min Son	Tottenham Hotspur	19 pts
Bargain of the week	Yves Bissouma	Brighton & Hove Albion	11 pts
Twat of the week	James Tarkowski	Burnley	-1 pts

Goal of the week

Spurs best striker from 1m27s.

Gameweek 34 results

1	MurderonZidaneFloor shamil gillani	64	2282
2	Cotton & Guns Patrick Martin	61	2270
3	Moves like Agger Ben Jacklin	65	2258
4	Panic! At the Xisco Ryan Garoghan	74	2257
5	Alice in wonderland Tim Dodd	55	2238
6	HHB All-stars Simon Barker	76	2217
7	Mr. Sitter Mr D Boy	80	2208
8	Finn Harps FPL Trevor Gordon	69	2194
9	Lukaku KyleWalker Stephen Jones	64	2192
10	The Craggy Islanders Adrian Roche	54	2181

11	Homerton Academical Adam Burnett	54	2180
12	Yellow Fever Ben Lawson	41	2138
13	Mission Impossible Roy Staines	65	2136
14	DaSilvaOrTheFred Stephen Papadopoulos	74	2135
15	Neil Madrid Neil Strong	89	2128
16	FC Caligula Ajay Supeda	52	2115
17	Init FC!! Mustafa khan	73	2111
18	Rip Roaring Reds Sean Whyton	56	2107
19	But da Pitch Ain’t 1 Trev Reams	75	2084
20	Perfidious Albion Andrew Swift	45	2074

The 89 points that Neil Madrid scored this week probably won’t be enough to shoot them into consideration for a league prize. They’re one of a clutch of teams that have surpassed the 2100 point barrier but will likely only finish as high as 12th. It’s still six from eleven for the league prizes. It has been for some weeks. Madrid’s successes this week came in the shape of Robertson over Trent and Alonso over every other Chelsea player. Ronaldo came through for the Manchester United double gameweek picks, along with Nemanja Matic – whose not even owned by Nemanja Matic.

Madrid had enough around their team to pip Saka Spuds to the weekly top score, despite the Spuds having Gabriel Jesus as captain. Jesus’s four goals helped him to the joint highest single gameweek score of the season, matching Mason Mount way back in GW9.

Last Man Standing was close this week. Yellow Fever drop out with 41 points and were probably victims of Spurs’ second consecutive week off in front of goal. Six points separated the next five worst teams. Nash’s Villains drop out with a disappointing 50 point haul, although it is enough to keep them ahead in the April Manager of the Month race – and still by some distance.

Manager of the week	Neil Strong	Neil Madrid	89 pts
Player of the week	Gabriel Jesus	Manchester City	24 pts
Bargain of the week	Joelinton	Newcastle United	13 pts
Twat of the week	Craig Dawson	West Ham United	-1 pts

Goal of the week

Rodri from about 4 minutes. The one Gabriel Jesus didn’t score.

Gameweek 21 results

1	MurderonZidaneFloor shamil gillani	98	1358
2	Panic! At the Xisco Ryan Garoghan	72	1349
3	Alice in wonderland Tim Dodd	89	1347
4	The Craggy Islanders Adrian Roche	74	1339
5	Moves like Agger Ben Jacklin	82	1336
6	HHB All-stars Simon Barker	81	1315
7	Cotton & Guns Patrick Martin	78	1305
8	Lukaku KyleWalker Stephen Jones	89	1302
9	Homerton Academical Adam Burnett	80	1302
10	Init FC!! Mustafa khan	76	1292

11	FC Caligula Ajay Supeda	69	1281
11	Yellow Fever Ben Lawson	82	1281
13	Mission Impossible Roy Staines	86	1271
14	Finn Harps FPL Trevor Gordon	68	1254
15	But da Pitch Ain’t 1 Trev Reams	84	1252
16	Perfidious Albion Andrew Swift	53	1240
17	Neil Madrid Neil Strong	96	1232
18	Mr. Sitter Mr D Boy	43	1228
19	DaSilvaOrTheFred Stephen Papadopoulos	60	1223
20	Greeeeenteeaaam. adam greenwood	79	1215

Our manager of the week triple captained the player of the week. That’s why they’re the manager of the week. 63 points for Jarrod Bowen was more than some teams managed. MurderOnZidaneFloor almost hit a century in the process of climbing back to the top of the table. 98 points slightly outscored our other 90+ team, Neil Madrid, who also capitalised on the West Ham double gameweek with another 63 point contribution – this time courtesy of a three player combo of Bowen (c – not triple), Coufal and Antonio.

The double produced some big scores but not without a few pitfalls. One of the planned double fixtures was cancelled, sending anyone investing in Leicester or Everton players into a spin. Leicester appear in the next double. Are they going to be able to play? No other team, it seems, has been worse effected by AFCON, injuries and COVID all at once.

Tight Shorts and Your Ad Here opted against heavy investment in the double and this tumbled out of Last Man Standing. Both also captained Ronaldo and probably would have expected more from him. Both teams appear relatively well equipped for the next double. Bit late now though.

Manager of the week	Shamil Gillani	MurderOnZidaneFloor	98 pts
Player of the week	Jarrod Bowen	West Ham United	21 pts
Bargain of the week	Davinson Sanchez	Tottenham Hotspur	15 pts
Twat of the week	Gabriel	Arsenal	-3 pts

Goal of the week

A great bit of fan-shot footage of Mateo Kovacic’s impossivolley against Liverpool