Gameweek 2 results

NORWICH ARE BACK have changed their name…to Pukki Blinders. Do they have Teemu Pukki? Er, no. Well, they probably do now, like the rest of us. A sharp price rise up to £6.7 million could hike up even further by the start of GW3. His ownership appears to have trebled from GW1 to now. The market seems pretty volatile at the moment and I reckon there are going to be a lot more wildcards played this week than were maybe first planned as a result of not being able to afford certain players. Pukki’s the first and only to see a £0.2 million rise so far. That going to cause some managers to have to look at taking a cheaper option somewhere else in their team. And that cheaper option might not be John Lundstram anymore. Is the Sheffield United man this season’s Wan Bissaka? A regular £4.0 starter? Not only that, but listed as a defender and playing out of position as a midfielder. Watch his price rises closely. He could be another very quickly adding £0.2 million to his value.

There aren’t many Pukki owners among us at all. Plenty of Lundstram lovers…with him warming their bench. Our highest scoring manager, Rock Ya-Sin, who moves up to 32nd place with a 65 point haul, collected their big points from a shrewd captain pick, guessing Sadio Mane would pick up where he left off at the end of last season. Is Mane the Liverpool attacker to have? Ahead of Salah?

1
Cook Pass Babtridge
Marcus Baker
51 150
2
Perfidious Albion
Andrew Swift
57 140
3
Show Me Da Mane
Jason Earwicker
62 138
4
The Mindless Morons
John Seacroft
60 137
5
Kante fit my Willian
Paul Callaghan
59 137
5
FTM
Stu Smith
46 137
7
Greeenteeaaam
adam greenwood
52 136
8
Locky Bauer Bowyer
Paul Hawkins
47 135
9
The Craggy Islanders
Adrian Roche
57 133
10
Game of Stones
Ryan Garoghan
50 132

Our leading pack all posted good 10-15 points above average scores with Cook Pass Babtridge holding onto their lead. Perfidious and The Islanders have moved into the top 10 and a special mention to The Mindless Morons – totally Sunderland-esque in their love of the arse-end of the table, but now perched with a nosebleed in fourth.

Player of the week – Teemu Pukki – Norwich City – 17 points

Bargain of the week – John Lundstram – Sheffield United – 14 points

Twat of the week – Paul Pogba – Manchester United – 0 points

Goal of the week – Douglas Luiz. 

Close run thing this week. Pukki’s volley misses out because the keeper got a paw to it. Harsh, I know, but it’s my blog. Also, an honorable mention for Ruben Neves’s curler for Wolves against Man Utd.

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Gameweek 31 results

1  up Perfidious Albion
Andrew Swift
61 1904
2  down The Craggy Islanders
Adrian Roche
36 1903
3  down But Da Pitch Ain’t 1
Trev Reams
34 1895
4  same Neil Madrid
Neil Strong
27 1829
5  same Shoelace Untied
Caroline Strong
45 1818
6  same Bielsa Ringing
Alan Hardy
56 1813
7  same INIT FC
Mustafa khan
44 1776
8  same FC Caligula
Ajay Supeda
32 1760
9  same FTM
Stu Smith
37 1758
10  same Edgbaston
Micheal Dinneen
27 1734
11  up Deeney in a Bottle
Stephanie Cripps
57 1733
12  up Upper Bullens
Andy Taylor
60 1726
13  up Rip Roaring Reds
Sean Whyton
53 1725
14  down Aribo Haribo
Paul Hawkins
42 1723
15  down Frostee Rucker
Paul Bentz
35 1712
16  down King raggg
Steven Darling
42 1702
17  up RICO UNITED
JASON REACHER
49 1679
18  down Cookie fc
Peter Cook
39 1676
19  down Game of Stones
Ryan Garoghan
34 1666
20  up Nashton Villa
Jaime Nash
42 1666
21  down Fake Madrid
Andrew Wade
21 1651
22  up Salah Buffoon!!!
Jitesh Lakhani
35 1648
23  up Dinamo Spinks
David Spinks
43 1647
24  down Kompany & Co
DEAN CRIPPS
28 1643
25  same Pretty Schitty City
Alex Michaluk
25 1637
26  down SLABHEAD FC
Adam Burnett
14 1633
27  up Musttryharder fc
Paul Telford
55 1631
28  up Need son luck
Matt Jarvis
42 1601
29  up Crazy Leg XI
David Caldicott
24 1598
30  down Mour Salt and Pep
Noel Driver
7 1594
31  up El Loco No Joko
Paul Murray
51 1593
32  down PenshawPerformers
david bruce
10 1591
33  down Kebab Eaters Utd
Paul Howard
22 1588
34  down The Big Lewandowski
Paul Callaghan
38 1587
35  up QUEEN OF THE NORTH
DORINE REACHER
41 1584
36  up Your Ad Here
Matthew Hopkins
42 1582
37  down Atlético Chappers
Richard Chapman
38 1580
38  down Real Jorvik
Simon Brown
31 1579
39  up Morningblues
Jeff Morning
51 1572
40  down Hemel Hotspurs
Paul Jarvis
33 1567
41  down Pique Blinders
Colin Goulding
32 1553
42  up Dropit like its Hart
Jason Earwicker
33 1545
43  down romeoshondavan
Rob Hewer
29 1543
44  down Greeeenteeam
adam greenwood
22 1536
45  same Hoose Reus
James Whitfield
26 1524
46  up Puddle Splash Van
Ian Williams
50 1516
47  down ClipityKlopptotitle
tanya thursby
22 1492
48  same It’s coming home
scott mcgow
38 1490
49  same The Mindless Morons
John Seacroft
29 1410
50  same Ross’s champions
darren frankland
8 1355

 

Manager of the week – Perfidious Albion – Andrew Swift – 61 points 

This time last season there were only four matches played in the first reduced gameweek, yet it produced the highest weekly score of 124 points and saw a dozen managers hit triple figures thanks to a four goal blitz from Mo Salah against Watford. Fast forward 12 months and anyone hoping for a similar performance would have been sorely disappointed. The stats were there and surely he’s due one – but there was a much more obvious and sensible captain choice stood on the other side of the pitch at kick off – Sadio Mane. Perfidious’s total of 61, with 26 points contributed by Mane, sees them regain the overall league lead, sailing past Da Pitch and The Islanders who like most of the rest of us limped past the weekly average of 26 –  surely an all time low. Spare a thought for those who’ve toiled for weeks or taken massive hits to try and get an XI out. There are those that probably decided to weather the storm and take a risk on a depleted squad who scored more points.

Player of the week – Karlan Grant – Huddersfield Town – 13 points

There were plenty of goals around – an average of 4 per game – it’s just the majority were scored by players completely off the radar…like this dude. And they still got beat.

Bargain of the week – Wes Morgan – Leicester City – 10 points

Not the Leicester player we were all banking on either…

Twat of the week – Harry Maguire – Leicester City – -2 points

…whereas this donkey lasted four bloody minutes and probably shaped the way many people’s weekends were going to go
Goal of the week – Matt Ritchie.
Video-less. It was a screamer.

Gameweek 28 results and February Manager of the Month

1  same But Da Pitch Ain’t 1
Trev Reams
54 1750
2  same The Craggy Islanders
Adrian Roche
66 1748
3  same Perfidious Albion
Andrew Swift
78 1738
4  same Neil Madrid
Neil Strong
65 1699
5  same Bielsa Ringing
Alan Hardy
63 1681
6  up INIT FC
Mustafa khan
71 1647
7  same FTM
Stu Smith
58 1641
8  down Shoelace Untied
Caroline Strong
46 1639
9  same Edgbaston
Micheal Dinneen
43 1600
10  up FC Caligula
Ajay Supeda
64 1600
11  down King raggg
Steven Darling
37 1590
12  down Frostee Rucker
Paul Bentz
41 1588
13  down Deeney in a Bottle
Stephanie Cripps
50 1588
14  up Rip Roaring Reds
Sean Whyton
62 1579
15  down Game of Stones
Ryan Garoghan
39 1560
16  same SLABHEAD FC
Adam Burnett
63 1557
17  up Aribo Haribo
Paul Hawkins
49 1552
18  down Fake Madrid
Andrew Wade
46 1551
19  up RICO UNITED
JASON REACHER
73 1549
20  same Upper Bullens
Andy Taylor
47 1541
21  down Mour Salt and Pep
Noel Driver
43 1538
22  down Nashton Villa
Jaime Nash
46 1524
23  same Dinamo Spinks
David Spinks
57 1523
24  same Cookie fc
Peter Cook
50 1510
25  up Pretty Schitty City
Alex Michaluk
79 1503
26  down Kompany & Co
DEAN CRIPPS
38 1496
27  down Musttryharder fc
Paul Telford
46 1489
28  up Salah Buffoon!!!
Jitesh Lakhani
60 1479
29  same Your Ad Here
Matthew Hopkins
50 1470
30  same Atlético Chappers
Richard Chapman
50 1470
31  down Kebab Eaters Utd
Paul Howard
48 1470
32  up The Big Lewandowski
Paul Callaghan
53 1469
33  down PenshawPerformers
david bruce
52 1468
34  same Real Jorvik
Simon Brown
49 1462
35  up Crazy Leg XI
David Caldicott
70 1460
36  up QUEEN OF THE NORTH
DORINE REACHER
84 1456
37  down Need son luck
Matt Jarvis
44 1456
38  down El Loco No Joko
Paul Murray
43 1454
39  down Morningblues
Jeff Morning
54 1445
40  down Hemel Hotspurs
Paul Jarvis
35 1440
41  down romeoshondavan
Rob Hewer
37 1429
42  same Pique Blinders
Colin Goulding
58 1423
43  down ClipityKlopptotitle
tanya thursby
38 1419
44  up Hoose Reus
James Whitfield
58 1405
45  up Greeeenteeam
adam greenwood
67 1397
46  down Dropit like its Hart
Jason Earwicker
28 1394
47  same It’s coming home
scott mcgow
69 1383
48  same Puddle Splash Van
Ian Williams
53 1327
49  same The Mindless Morons
John Seacroft
51 1295
50  same Ross’s champions
darren frankland
62 1241

 

Top of the league – But Da Pitch Ain’t 1 – Trev Reams – 1750 points

Da Pitch still hold the lead, but it’s only a slender two points over the surging Craggy Islanders who are on the hunt for the second title. Perfidious sit third and only ten points further back after a resurgent week, and although not completely out of touch and out of contention for the title, Neil Madrid and Bielsa Ringing will need near perfect run-ins to catch those sides ahead of them. And we probably shouldn’t rule out the possibility of INIT, FTM or Shoelace sneaking into fourth place. We’re entering silly season, as the blank and double gameweeks begin to form and chip tactics come into play. We’re faced with only five fixtures in GW31 and the likelihood of a similar figure in GW33, depending on the outcome of the next round of the FA Cup. Already Manchester United have had two of their fixtures rearranged and moved to the middle of gameweeks 32 and 35. Expect the other successful cup teams to see their fixtures moved to the same midweek slots. Of the leading contenders, The Craggy Islanders, Perfidious Albion, Neil Madrid and Bielsa Ringing have all of their chips and their wildcard remaining. Da Pitch just have their chips to play. FTM Have their wildcard but bench-boosted in GW10, whereas INIT have no wildcards or triple captain and Shoelace have no wildcards or free hit. Negotiating the next few weeks could be tricky without at least one of the wildcard or free hit still in the bag. And it shouldn’t all be about the leaders, as a perfectly played strategy of wildcards and chips could hand any team anywhere in the league any of the next three manager of the month awards. It might also be something the semi-finalists of the Buckets Cup want to consider…

Buckets Cup quarter finals

Although maybe not in the case of The Craggy Islanders or Neil Madrid who probably have their eyes on a bigger prize. And that may play into the hands of Fake Madrid and Kebab Eaters who are the other two teams to progress to the last four. The Islanders beat Da Pitch as Madrid saw off FTM in the two top ten clashes. The Islanders will play Fake Madrid, who beat El Loco No Joko, who inexplicably kept Virgil Van Dyk and Sergio Aguero on the bench?!?!?!? Kebab Eaters edged past Mour Salt and Pep to face Neil Madrid. It could be a Madrid derby final.

February manager of the month – Atletico Chappers – Richard Chapman – 309 points

Thanks to their top 2,000 in the world weekly score of GW27 and consolidating with a steady 50 pointer this week, Chappers pinch the February prize. I’m not sure they were really in it at all before hitting the dizzy heights at the weekend. They have Gerard Deulefeu to thank and did so by benching him for their hammering at the hands of Liverpool last night.

Manager of the week – Queen Of The North – Dorine Reacher – 84 points

A week for defenders this week and QOTN lined up two of the big scorers – Schar and Robertson – in their team. They amassed 43 points from those two and their other defender, Ashley Young, who chipped in with a goal, and their keeper, Allison. They wouldn’t be picking up this award however had it not been for a Marko Arnautovic no-show. Although quite what Sadio Mane was doing warming the bench is anyone’s guess given his present run of form of six goals in six games.

Player of the week – Virgil Van Dyk – Liverpool – 20 points

It would have been 51 points had Van Dyk been lined alongside them in a triple up Liverpool defence. It’s not a ludicrous idea given that they’re three of the six highest scoring defenders in the game and that Liverpool have more clean sheets than anyone else so far this season. They could surpass 20 which would be a great achievement. It bodes well for the weeks ahead in which Liverpool play every week. They have no doubles, but they also have no blanks.

Bargain of the week – Fabian Schar – Newcastle United – 15 points

There aren’t many players with two weekly player awards so far this season. Fabian Schar is probably the most unexpected recipient. A clean sheet and a wondergoal always equals top bonus. Newcastle will play the blank gameweek in 31, and have other potential clean sheet matches between now and then.

Twat of the week – Kieran Trippier – Tottenham Hotspur – -1 points

A wonderful own goal that totally wrong footed Hugo Lloris, a World Cup winning captain no less. Tottenham’s meltdown might have started a few weeks earlier this season.

Goal of the week – Fabian Schar.

Gameweek 10 results and October Manager of the Month

1  same But Da Pitch Ain’t 1
Trev Reams
61 682
2  same Perfidious Albion
Andrew Swift
68 666
3  up Game of Stones
Ryan Garoghan
86 635
4  up Neil Madrid
Neil Strong
91 626
5  down Cookie fc
Peter Cook
51 613
6  up Deeney in a Bottle
Stephanie Cripps
75 608
7  up FC Caligula
Ajay Supeda
71 602
8  up The Craggy Islanders
Adrian Roche
77 599
9  down Thelma and Luiz
Trevor Gordon
64 599
10  up Edgbaston
Micheal Dinneen
69 598
11  up Upper Bullens
Andy Taylor
87 595
12  down SLABHEAD FC
Adam Burnett
45 590
13  up Bielsa Ringing
Alan Hardy
66 578
14  down RICO UNITED
JASON REACHER
51 575
15  down Need son luck
Matt Jarvis
58 571
16  up Pretty Schitty City
Alex Michaluk
85 570
17  down King raggg
Steven Darling
43 566
18  same Mour Salt and Pep
Noel Driver
62 558
19  down Musttryharder fc
Paul Telford
60 556
20  up Frostee Rucker
Paul Bentz
69 553
21  up Your Ad Here
Matthew Hopkins
71 552
22  up FTM
Stu Smith
70 551
23  up CAS Vampire Slayers
Mustafa khan
72 549
24  up Shoelace Untied
Caroline Strong
78 547
25  up Hoose Reus
James Whitfield
78 546
26  up romeoshondavan
Rob Hewer
74 543
27  down Kompany & Co
DEAN CRIPPS
44 535
27  down PenshawPerformers
david bruce
44 535
29  up Nashton Villa
Jaime Nash
84 530
30  up Aribo Haribo
Paul Hawkins
71 527
31  up Morningblues
Jeff Morning
72 523
32  up Fake Madrid
Andrew Wade
68 523
33  same Dinamo Spinks
David Spinks
65 522
34  down Pique Blinders
Colin Goulding
54 520
35  up El Loco No Joko
Paul Murray
70 517
36  down The Big Lewandowski
Paul Callaghan
24 516
37  up Rip Roaring Reds
Sean Whyton
66 512
38  down Crazy Leg XI
David Caldicott
45 510
39  down QUEEN OF THE NORTH
DORINE REACHER
55 506
40  down Dropit like its Hart
Jason Earwicker
46 501
41  up Salah Buffoon!!!
Jitesh Lakhani
52 497
42  up Real Jorvik
Simon Brown
47 486
43  up ClipityKlopptotitle
tanya thursby
40 479
44  up Greeeenteeam
adam greenwood
46 475
45  up It’s coming home
scott mcgow
52 466
45  up Kebab Eaters Utd
Paul Howard
48 466
47  up Hemel Hotspurs
Paul Jarvis
47 460
48  up Puddle Splash Van
Ian Williams
49 459
49  down Atlético Chappers
Richard Chapman
40 454
50  up Ross’s champions
darren frankland
51 435
51  up The Mindless Morons
John Seacroft
43 428

 

October Manager of the Month – Game of Stones – Ryan Garoghan – 198 points

It was Salah Buffoon!!!’s to lose – and they did. They had a 10 point lead over their nearest challenger after last week and a 22 point lead over Game of Stones. The 34 point swing meant that even if the Buffoons actually had Salah in their team, and as captain, they still wouldn’t have held onto top spot. Game of Stones have been no lower than 8th since the beginning of the season and their victory means that each of the manager of the month prizes so far have gone to our current top three in the league.

1  up Game of Stones
Ryan Garoghan
86 198
2  up Shoelace Untied
Caroline Strong
78 195
3  up Deeney in a Bottle
Stephanie Cripps
75 190
4  up Upper Bullens
Andy Taylor
87 186
5  down Salah Buffoon!!!
Jitesh Lakhani
52 186
6  down But Da Pitch Ain’t 1
Trev Reams
61 185

 

Manager of the week – Neil Madrid – Neil Strong – 91 points

Banking on Liverpool scoring a bagful against Cardiff and Bournemouth doing likewise against Fulham guaranteed Neil Madrid their week winning score. Sadio Mane contributed 30 points as captain and a combination of Ryan Fraser and Callum Wilson, who is now the game’s highest scoring striker, added 24 points between them. Madrid move up into fourth, and along with Game of Stones, have managed to claw back a little on the two runaway leaders.

Player of the week – Ross Barkley – Chelsea – 17 points

From out of nowhere and getting back to the player he looked like he could be in his earlier days at Everton. This is Barkley’s second double figure score in three, his third consecutive scoring gameweek, and is offering ridiculous value in this form at £5.8 million. You just know the minute you bring him in he’ll be rotated.

Bargain of the week – Callum Wilson – Bournemouth – 13 points

It’s his second appearance on the roll of honour in the last three weeks as Bournemouth’s impressive free scoring start to the season continues. Wilson’s totals are being helped by Josh King’s absence. He’s the single focal point of the attack and is on (and scoring) penalties. Another current must-have in great form and becoming almost fixture proof with Bournemouth’s reliability at finding the back of the net.

Twat of the week – Mark Noble – West Ham United – -2 points

Can be a reliable asset when you’re lucky enough to have him in and West Ham get a penalty. He’s always cheap enough to occupy a bench spot with a guaranteed start. On the other hand he’s also one of those players almost guaranteed to land himself in the twat book at least once a season.

Goal of the week – Granit Xhaka. The latest in a run of long-range-top-corner blinders.

 

Gameweek 1 results

1  new Perfidious Albion
Andrew Swift
102 102
2  new But Da Pitch Ain’t 1
Trev Reams
93 93
3  new Game of Stones
Ryan Garoghan
92 92
4  new RICO UNITED
JASON REACHER
91 91
5  new FC Caligula
Ajay Supeda
89 89
6  new The Craggy Islanders
Adrian Roche
84 84
6  new King raggg
Steven Darling
84 84
8  new QUEEN OF THE NORTH
DORINE REACHER
82 82
9  new Neil Madrid
Neil Strong
81 81
10  new CAS Vampire Slayers
Mustafa khan
77 77
10  new Crazy Leg XI
David Caldicott
77 77
12  new The Big Lewandowski
Paul Callaghan
74 74
12  new Edgbaston
Micheal Dinneen
74 74
14  new Frostee Rucker
Paul Bentz
73 73
15  new Deeney in a Bottle
Stephanie Cripps
72 72
16  new ClipityKlopptotitle
tanya thursby
71 71
17  new DoubleDee
Noel Driver
70 70
18  new Your Ad Here
Matthew Hopkins
69 69
19  new Aribo Haribo
Paul Hawkins
68 68
20  new Hoose Reus
James Whitfield
67 67
21  new PenshawPerformers
david bruce
65 65
22  new Upper Bullens
Andy Taylor
64 64
22  new romeoshondavan
Rob Hewer
64 64
24  new Kebab Eaters Utd
Paul Howard
63 63
25  new Thelma and Luiz
Trevor Gordon
61 61
25  new Bielsa Ringing
Alan Hardy
61 61
27  new Dropit like its Hart
Jason Earwicker
58 58
28  new Dinamo Spinks
David Spinks
57 57
28  new Need son luck
Matt Jarvis
57 57
30  new Musttryharder fc
Paul Telford
56 56
31  new Shoelace Untied
Caroline Strong
54 54
32  new Cookie fc
Peter Cook
53 53
32  new SLABHEAD FC
Adam Burnett
53 53
34  new Hemel Hotspurs
Paul Jarvis
52 52
34  new Fake Madrid
Andrew Wade
52 52
34  new Pretty Schitty City
Alex Michaluk
52 52
34  new Rip Roaring Reds
Sean Whyton
52 52
38  new Nashton Villa
Jaime Nash
51 51
39  new Kompany & Co
DEAN CRIPPS
49 49
40  new Bakerlona
Stuart Baker
48 48
40  new El Loco No Joko
Paul Murray
48 48
42  new Real Jorvik
Simon Brown
47 47
43  new Atlético Chappers
Richard Chapman
46 46
43  new Puddle Splash Van
Ian Williams
46 46
45  new It’s coming home
scott mcgow
45 45
46  new Salah Buffoon!!!
Jitesh Lakhani
43 43
46  new FTM
Stu Smith
43 43
46  new Pique Blinders
Colin Goulding
43 43
49  new The Mindless Morons
John Seacroft
42 42
50  new Morningblues
Jeff Morning
37 37
51  new Ross’s champions
darren frankland
32 32
52  new Greeeenteeam
adam greenwood
27 27

 

Manager of the week – Perfidious Albion – Andrew Swift – 102 points

An early contender for the highest weekly score prize. Don’t be surprised if Perfidious Albion are still sat at the top of that particular pile come double gameweek season. The worldwide average was 53 points – a total that over half of our managers achieved. Perfidious’ masterstroke was avoiding Mo Salah (or not being able to afford Mo Salah) and sticking the armband on Sadio Mane instead. They also bagged 33 points from three defenders and were one of the only managers to pick Aaron Wan Bissaka instead of benching him. Seven of the top ten could have been 12 points better off if they’d promoted the young Palace defender. Perfidious themselves, however, could have been 14 points better off had they plumped for Benjamin Mendy over Harry Kane. Strikers were a real let down this week. The highest scoring was Callum Wilson with 8 points. No striker made double figures. Contrast that with 8 double figure scoring defenders and 6 in the midfield.

An honorable mention to our highest scoring newcomer, But Da Pitch Ain’t 1, who sit in second with 93 points. They tripled up on Liverpool and Manchester City, captaining Salah, and having the same Wan Bissaka foresight as Perfidious.

Player of the week – Roberto Pereyra – Watford – 16 points

Bargain of the week – Jose Holebas – Watford 13 points

Aside Mane’s 16 points for his brace against West Ham, Watford’s Roberto Pereyra returned the same total with the same stats. He was assisted for both goals by Jose Holebas. There’ll no doubt be a few early kneejerk reactions to their performances. They’re as good a bet as anyone at their price point and their next two fixtures offer some points potential. It gets a bit tougher for them from week 4 onward though.

Twat of the week – Phil Jagielka – Everton – -3 points

Phil Jagielka’s season may only last 39 minutes. Expect new signing Yerry Mina to make his bow next week and Jagielka to warm the bench from now on.

Goal of the week – Ruben Neves

He’s £5 million. For now.