Gameweek 23 results

You either captained De Bruyne and spent 24 hours cursing his no-show until celebrating Jamie Vardy’s penalty miss like he’d scored a hat trick in a week that you’d captained him. Or, you celebrated De Bruyne’s no-show in expectation of a massive rank rise off the back of a Jamie Vardy goal blitz, and then wished you’d captained De Bruyne, even if it was just for four points.

Or you wildcarded, like The Craggy Islanders, drafted in Sergio Aguero and basked in the glory of the brace that secured the week’s highest Buckets total. That same wildcard has set the Islanders up nicely for Liverpool’s double header in the next gameweek. Most managers seem to have a Liverpool plan in place, with at least two of Salah, Mane, TAA, Robertson, Van Dijk or Firmino in place already. Not a lot of West Ham interest though. 

1
Locky Bauer Bowyer
Paul Hawkins
35 1364
2
Game of Stones
Ryan Garoghan
50 1350
3
Sterling Silva
DEAN CRIPPS
46 1341
4
Nashton Villa
Jaime Nash
69 1323
5
Atlético Chappers
Richard Chapman
39 1323
6
FC Caligula
Ajay Supeda
31 1321
7
musttryharder fc
Paul Telford
33 1315
8
Edgbaston
Micheal Dinneen
34 1313
9
DaSilvaortheFreD
Stephen Papadopoulos
51 1310
10
Rip Roaring Reds
Sean Whyton
45 1304

Nashton were the big movers this week, scoring 69 to shoot up into fourth and the prize money places. And that with both De Bruyne and Vardy as captain. They fluked Spurs’ only clean sheet this millennium, coupled with a penalty save for Paulo Gazzaniga, another double figure return for Jack Grealish, an assist for Mason Holgate (!) and clean sheet and bonus points for Reece James, who was conveniently hooked before Newcastle’s winning goal. 

Manager of the week – The Craggy Islanders – Adrian Roche – 70 points

Player of the week – Virgil Van Dijk – Liverpool – 15 points

Bargain of the week – Paulo Gazzaniga – Tottenham Hotspur – 14 points

Twat of the week – Steve Cook – Bournemouth – -2 points

Goal of the week – Jack Grealish. 1m27s

 

Gameweek 20 results and December manager of the month

Here are the top 20, following gameweek 20, before we hit 2020.

1
Locky Bauer Bowyer
Paul Hawkins
59 1221
2
Game of Stones
Ryan Garoghan
71 1178
3
Sterling Silva
DEAN CRIPPS
66 1177
4
Atlético Chappers
Richard Chapman
74 1173
5
FC Caligula
Ajay Supeda
61 1168
6
musttryharder fc
Paul Telford
60 1147
7
GingerFizz
Noel Driver
47 1147
8
Nashton Villa
Jaime Nash
58 1143
9
DaSilvaortheFreD
Stephen Papadopoulos
69 1142
10
Edgbaston
Micheal Dinneen
64 1140
11
Soup-or-Boom.
Ian Driver
56 1137
12
Rip Roaring Reds
Sean Whyton
42 1130
13
BASHAM’S ARRIVING!
Tim Dodd
64 1124
14
Buffoon United
Jitesh Lakhani
54 1120
15
Neil Madrid
Neil Strong
64 1117
16
Ole’s Revival
Patrick Martin
57 1111
17
Reluctant Soldier
Trevor Gordon
75 1108
18
Perfidious Albion
Andrew Swift
76 1104
19
Cookie fc
Peter Cook
66 1103
20
But da Pitch Ain’t 1
Trev Reams
48 1097

Locky’s sit at the top as we head into the new decade. It’s their tenth consecutive week at the top of the pile. They hold a 43 point lead over Game of Stones. Their lead was at it’s greatest last week, stretching to 51 points and it’s been fairly consistently at around 40 points since gameweek 11. The chasing pack can’t quite put a run together of outscoring Locky’s enough to close the gap. I have no idea if that last sentence makes sense.

This week Rock Ya Sin scored highest with 77 points. They sit just outside this top 20 with 1095 points. They benefitted from Danny Ings stepping in to fill the void left by Jamie Vardy’s non-appearance. It was the gameweek that was maybe expected to test the strength of the bench the most and it was mostly to cover Leicester absentees. I think we pretty much all had to call on at least one of our substitutes with the Vardy omission. Soyuncu, Pereira, Chilwell, Tielemans and Praet were all benched. James Maddison was too, but came on for a one point cameo.

Managers had varying degrees of success with their benches – most saw the likes of Kelly, Rico and Cantwell promoted to the tune of a few points. Special mention to Musttryharder who had Vardy as captain with De Bruyne has their vice. Traore took Vardy’s place in the team and Baldock replaced Lundstram for a total of 30 additional points, doubling their score and maintaining their place in the top 10. Smooth.

The December prize has been won by The Reluctant Soldier. This month they’ve achieved five out of six green arrows, rising 700,000 places in the overall ranks. They backed Vardy with the armband for the first four weeks, then switched to Alli last week and De Bruyne this week. All returned. Any captain advice needed – ask The Reluctant Soldier.

1
Reluctant Soldier
Trevor Gordon
75 378
2
Buffoon United
Jitesh Lakhani
54 373
3
Perfidious Albion
Andrew Swift
76 367
4
Nashton Villa
Jaime Nash
58 364
5
Kebab Eaters Utd
Paul Howard
56 362
6
Pukki Blinders
David Spinks
62 361

 

December Manager of the Month – Trevor Gordon – The Reluctant Soldier – 378 points

Manager of the week – Rock Ya Sin – Paul Bentz – 77 points

Player of the week – Kevin De Bruyne – Manchester City – 14 points

Bargain of the week – Dominic Calvert-Lewin – Everton – 12 points

Twat of the week – Adrian Mariappa – Watford – -2 points

Goal of the week – Aaron Mooy. 2m20s.

Gameweek 17 results

The most transferred out player ahead of gameweek 17 was Kevin De Bruyne. He’d picked up a booking to finish GW16 with an unsatisfactory one point haul and clearly lots of managers had just had enough. Raheem Sterling had dropped out of a lot of teams over the previous weeks and now it looked set that De Bruyne was going to follow him. As I write in the lead up to GW18, the Belgian is the most transferred IN player. I sense a lot of managers think they may have made a mistake. Not us though. Eight of the top ten Buckets managers had De Bruyne in their squads and all eight kept him in there. The possibility of him running riot through that shambolic Arsenal defence was too risky to miss out on. By half time he’d scored two wonder-goals, assisted Sterling’s second and almost, but for a great save from Bernd Leno, scored one of the best hat-tricks in Premier League history.

So the overall look of the top ten didn’t change much. Ginger Fizz, one of the two non-owners, drop three places. Locky’s, the other non-owner, stay top but with the same lead over Game Of Stones, who despite owning the Man City midfielder, couldn’t take advantage. The 14 possible points sat on their bench probably didn’t go down too well.

1
Locky Bauer Bowyer
Paul Hawkins
55 1062
2
Game of Stones
Ryan Garoghan
55 1018
3
Sterling Silva
DEAN CRIPPS
71 1015
4
Atlético Chappers
Richard Chapman
60 1001
5
FC Caligula
Ajay Supeda
69 1000
6
musttryharder fc
Paul Telford
69 996
7
Rip Roaring Reds
Sean Whyton
68 990
8
GingerFizz
Noel Driver
52 990
9
Edgbaston
Micheal Dinneen
67 987
10
Soup-or-Boom.
Ian Driver
69 977

Hovering just outside the top ten in 12th place are Nashton Villa who recorded the highest score of the week. They sold Sterling, so could have topped the 80 point barrier had they left their transfers alone. De Bruyne stayed put but it was a fouth 8+ point score from their goalkeeper, Vincente Guaita, that crowned them weekly winners. The Palace stopper is relatively lowly owned and despite conceding against Brighton, made nine saves, bagging him three extra points and all three bonus points. This follows three consecutive clean sheets and a total of 34 points since GW14. Special mention this week for ShakeItDown, who are in bottom place. Their 75 points was the third highest of the week, although not enough to lift them off the bottom. I’m not sure they’ll ever be anything but bottom. Even the 160 points spent on transfers wouldn’t promote them any higher than bottom. Had they picked Mason Greenwood ahead of Joao Moutinho though, they’d be manager of the week. But still bottom. And they still haven’t used their wildcard. Maybe next week. Although, they’d probably still end up being bottom.

Manager of the week – Jaime Nash – Nashton Villa – 79 points

Player of the week – Kevin De Bruyne – Manchester City – 19 points

Bargain of the week – John Fleck – Sheffield United – 15 points

Twat of the week – Victor Lindelof – Manchester United – -1 points

Goal of the week – Kevin De Bruyne. 1st goal – from the start.

Gameweek 16 results

How much longer before we’re completely rid of our Manchester City players? Raheem Sterling has exited close to a million teams in the last month and with that seen an almost half million pounds price drop. There comes a time when patience just becomes sheer stubbornness and stupidity. Let it go, let it go. And as for Kevin De Bruyne, the one asset we all thought we’d stick by… Just because he was dirt cheap in the first place, shouldn’t mean he’s not replacable when the points dry up. He doesn’t look quite so cheap now when you compare his current form to that of Son and Alli, or even Jonjo bloody Shelvey. It is Arsenal this weekend though?!

It was a good week for Locky’s at the top, re-establishing a lead with the highest score in the top ten. It looks like the Spurs bandwagon has been well and truly jumped upon by a number of teams, most notably our leaders and Atletico Chappers, who leap up into third – possibly their highest placing ever. Chappers opted away from Vardy as captain and chose Harry Kane, who posted only his second double digit score of the season – the first being in GW1. Smooth.

1
Locky Bauer Bowyer
Paul Hawkins
79 1007
2
Game of Stones
Ryan Garoghan
67 963
3
Atlético Chappers
Richard Chapman
72 945
4
Sterling Silva
DEAN CRIPPS
46 944
5
GingerFizz
Noel Driver
68 938
6
FC Caligula
Ajay Supeda
52 935
7
musttryharder fc
Paul Telford
54 927
8
Rip Roaring Reds
Sean Whyton
75 922
9
Edgbaston
Micheal Dinneen
66 920
10
Neil Madrid
Neil Strong
66 910

Our monster score of the week, however, came from Kebab Eaters, who despite being down in 33rd place are on a bit of a roll. They’ve climbed 3.5 million places in the last seven weeks, managing consecutive green arrows. This 94 point haul was in among the top 20k worldwide and was miraculously made up of a five man defence in a week in which only four teams kept clean sheets. Standard captain plus a nice smattering of Spurs players, which I imagine may increase over the coming weeks, also saw them race into early contention for the December monthly prize.

Manager of the week – Kebab Eaters United – Paul Howard – 94 points

Player of the week – Harry Kane – Tottenham Hotspur – 16 points

Bargain of the week – George Baldock – Sheffield United – 14 points

Twat of the week – Matt Targett – Aston Villa – -1 points

Goal of the week – Heung-Min Son. 

Gameweek 14 results and November manager of the month

Only three teams managed a score over 70 points this week. Most of us struggled to make the average of 51 and that includes most of the leading managers.

1
Locky Bauer Bowyer
Paul Hawkins
47 869
2
Sterling Silva
DEAN CRIPPS
45 844
3
FC Caligula
Ajay Supeda
55 837
4
Game of Stones
Ryan Garoghan
40 830
5
musttryharder fc
Paul Telford
61 820
6
Atlético Chappers
Richard Chapman
36 816
7
GingerFizz
Noel Driver
36 805
8
Soup-or-Boom.
Ian Driver
53 797
9
DaSilvaortheFreD
Stephen Papadopoulos
45 795
10
Edgbaston
Micheal Dinneen
45 784

It’s the reason that, despite their second worst weekly rank, Locky Bauer Bowyer managed to hold on to take the November manager of the month prize. Had Greeenteeaaam, Shakeutupanddown or Morning Blues (our three 70+ers) been more in the monthly mix, they’d have probably got their noses in front.

1
Locky Bauer Bowyer
Paul Hawkins
47 280
2
Stranger Mings
Adam Burnett
47 279
3
FC Caligula
Ajay Supeda
55 274
4
Soup-or-Boom.
Ian Driver
53 271
5
FTM
Stu Smith
39 271

Greeenteeaaam’s efforts are particularly noteworthy. Their 81 points included a contribution of 30 from captain, Dele Alli. It’s a bandwagon I expect a lot more of us to be jumping on over the coming weeks. It was Alli’s sixth straight start – a run which has seen him score four, assist one and pick up six bonus points. He’d become a bit of a forgotten fantasy asset, hardly featuring in the first quarter of the season. He seems to be flourishing under Mourinho and that low 3.6% ownership should rise. Get him while he’s still (relatively) cheap.

November manager of the month – Paul Hawkins – Locky Bauer Bowyer- 280 points

Manager of the week – Greeenteeaaam – Adam Greenwood – 81 points

Player of the week – Virgil Van Dijk – Liverpool – 17 points

Bargain of the week – Aaron Cresswell – West Ham United – 14 points

Twat of the week – Harry Maguire – Manchester United – 0 points

Goal of the week – Kevin de Bruyne. 1m05s in.