Season review

May 14, 2018

1  same The Vinegar Pissers
P Hawkins
84 2289
2  same Nashton Villa
Jaime Nash
65 2253
3  same Edgbaston
Micheal Dinneen
67 2251
4  same Despicable Mee
Trevor Gordon
67 2250
5  same FC Caligula
Ajay Supeda
86 2245
6  same The Craggy Islanders
Adrian Roche
65 2216
7  same Hornets
Andrew Wade
76 2215
8  up INIT FC
Mustafa khan
74 2193
9  down Brexiter City
Colin Goulding
52 2184
10  up It’sOnlyAGameFarke!
David Spinks
66 2156
11  up Rico united
JASON REACHER
71 2155
12  up The winnings R mine
david bruce
71 2148
13  down greenyteamy
adam greenwood
51 2139
14  down Fun Lovren Criminals
Paul Callaghan
34 2134
15  up Game of Throw-Ins
Ryan Garoghan
73 2133
16  same Queen of the north
DORINE REACHER
55 2125
17  down Emergency Gap Jumper
Ian Williams
54 2125
18  same Kebab Eaters Utd
Paul Howard
60 2108
19  same Pure Buffoonery!
Jitesh Lakhani
54 2103
20  up We are Ayling
Paul Murray
68 2095
21  up Your Ad Here
Matthew Hopkins
88 2094
22  up Gotta Light?
Andrew Swift
66 2089
23  down Shoelace Untied
Caroline Strong
53 2089
24  down Klopp of the Pochs
Jason Earwicker
58 2082
25  down Rip Roaring Reds
Sean Whyton
48 2078
26  down Atlético Chappers
Richard Chapman
55 2073
27  up Flying squad
Matt Jarvis
87 2072
28  up Pretty Schitty City
Alex Michaluk
85 2065
29  down To Elland Back
Alan Hardy
69 2061
30  up Neil Madrid
Neil Strong
84 2061
31  down Golden Boys
Stephanie Cripps
55 2052
32  up King Dunlap
Paul Bentz
80 2050
33  same mrs mcgoo
laura barrett
70 2048
34  down Aquamar 1564
Noel Driver
43 2035
35  same Crazylegs XI
David Caldicott
57 2021
36  same blakes11
Steven Darling
54 1998
37  same musttryharder FC
Paul Telford
52 1995
38  same Kompany & Co
DEAN CRIPPS
58 1983
39  same FTM
Stu Smith
55 1980
40  up Jarv88
Paul Jarvis
85 1918
41  down iamgroot
scott mcgow
56 1903
42  up romeoshondavan
Rob Hewer
66 1898
43  up Upper Bullens
Andy Taylor
69 1896
44  down cookster fc
Peter Cook
50 1895
45  same disco dancer
darren frankland
61 1879
46  same Pudding And Pie
John Seacroft
52 1848
47  same Bakerlona FC
Stuart Baker
59 1829
48  same Release The Hounds
Paul Mitchell
50 1799
49  same Real Jorvik
Simon Brown
50 1752
50  same Biscuitmen
Chris Morton
71 1653

 

Winners – The Vinegar Pissers 

The third manager to pick up their second title scoring the second highest finishing total. The Vinegar Pissers only spent six weeks outside of our top 10, first taking root in GW5. They did drop to the depths of 11th and 12th, before permanently floating around 6th until gameweek 29, when a manager of the week performance saw them rise to third. Then GW31 – only four games – but a Mohamed Salah masterclass and everybody’s posting 100+ totals and challenging for the highest weekly score prize. The VP’s kicked arse with 124 points from eight players, 58 of which came from Salah. That put them at the top of the league and that’s where they stayed – and in truth, no-one really got that close to them. Congratulations to the Pissers. They got as high as 8,202nd in the world, never took more than a four point hit, played their triple captain and bench boost in the run in and utilised their free hit well, picking up a good score with it and a green arrow just before Christmas. Interestingly, they played their wildcards at almost the earliest possibly opportunity on both occasions. Proving that there is still no logic to this game and it’s all complete luck.

Runners up – Nashton Villa, Edgbaston and Despicable Mee 

Our Champions League qualifiers all had similar seasons, making their surge into the top ten and then the top four at around the same time. It was during March that they all lost ground on the VPs and were left desperately trying to claw back the points lost during gameweeks 29 and 31 – the two weeks that definitely won the VP’s that manager of the month, and arguably won them the league. It was a superb debut season for Nashton who reached their highest worldwide position after GW37, but were unable to continue the rise and challenge for the top spot. They would have had to surpass the 100 point mark in GW38 to knock our champions off their perch.

Edgbaston have finally crept into our top four after two consecutive 5th place finishes, despite finishing lower in the world rankings than in both of their last two attempts. And fourth placed Despicable Mee are regressing. Two consecutive runners up placings and now fourth place. Once always the bridesmaid – now a distant uncle only invited because they had a space to fill. In all seriousness – if one of these two doesn’t win this title soon, I’d be very surprised.

The rest

There were valiant efforts by two former champs who just ran out of steam at the last knockings – FC Caligula and The Craggy Islanders finished 5th and 6th respectively. We’re sure to see them in the running next season. Hornets, a total rookie FPL debutant, who were top every week bar three between gameweeks 2 and 29, finished in a respectable 7th. By gameweek 16 they had climbed to 1,663rd in the world, as high (possibly) as any Buckets manager has been, but they peaked too early. Better understanding of the chips and when to play them might serve them better next season. The rest of us – probably got stung by Harry Kane once too often, and only realised when it was too late that they should have had Mo Salah as captain EVERY WEEK.

The awards

We had more managers of the week scoring 100+ scores than in any previous season. The Vinegar Pissers’ 124 point score was the second highest weekly winning score, but falls way behind their own record set in the 2013-2014 season when they managed 165 points in a week in which virtually everybody passed the 100 point barrier following a mammoth double gameweek. That same season produced the highest winning finishing score in our league of 2356 points. Despite there being more 100+ weekly winners in this season, The VPs finished 67 points behind that total. It’s worth noting that the 124 points scored in GW31 was done so from only four games. Another thirteen of our fifty teams passed the century mark that week. And most of them were only fielding bit part teams.

We had ten different managers of the month, six managers taking two weekly accolades, but only one, The bloody Vinegar Pissers, managing three highest weekly scores. Shoelace Untied took the December prize, accumulating 477 points for the month – the highest ever monthly total.

The players

We may have fallen just short of breaking our manager records this season, but the reason we got so close was largely due to one player – Mohamed Salah. He became the first player to pass 300 points for the season. No-one else came close – which may explain why we didn’t quite eclipse the higher scores from four years ago. Back then, in the ‘Suarez’ season, there was a great supporting cast, with the likes of Daniel Sturridge, Steven Gerrard, Raheem Sterling, Robin Van Persie, Yaya Toure and Eden Hazard all scoring big, playing consistently and featuring in a lot of teams. This season only Harry Kane, Sterling and Kevin De Bruyne passed the 200 point mark. Despite Kane running Salah (fairly) close in the golden boot chase, he was still close to 100 points behind. Which says more about the frustrating, annoying, inconsistent, trolling season the Spurs striker had. Nowt for weeks then just when you get sick of it all three frickin’ hat tricks…or whatever it was. Dickhead. Still – he’ll be in from the start next season.

Kane picked up more player of the week awards (three) than anyone else. Salah, who only scored more than anyone else once throughout the whole season, was much more consistent. A goal every week rather than three and a gap. And lets mention GW31 again – 29 points – the highest ever single match gameweek score. Sergio Aguero, Heung-Min Son and Marko Arnautovic were the only other players to get two player of the week awards. Tottenham won the award six times ahead of Chelsea with five, and then perhaps surprisingly, Manchester City, with only four winners. Ayoze Perez, Federico Fernandez and Callum Wilson showed up on the bargain list more than once and Newcastle appeared to be the best go-to cheapo team, winning the award five times over the course of the season. Watford were king of the twats offering up six ‘worst of the week’, with Jose Holebas winning the award twice. Jack Stephens also won it twice – and in consecutive weeks, so well done to him. Manchester City did dominate the goal of the week contenders with eight wins, but anyone who tells you that Jamie Vardy’s over the shoulder volley against West Brom in GW30 isn’t the goal of the season, is some kind of goon.

Debatable team of the season

  • GK – David De Gea – 172 points

No arguments here, although Lorus Karius did pick up more points per match of all keepers playing more than 10 games. Karius and Mignolet played half a season each – 19 games a piece. Mignolet scored on average 1.1 points per game less and kept three less clean sheets – although still 7 out of 19 which is pretty respectable.

  • DR – Cesar Azpilicueta – 175 points
  • DL – Marcos Alonso – 165 points
  • DC – Nicolas Otamendi – 156 points
  • DC – Jan Vertonghen – 138 points

Antonio Valencia, Ben Davies and Kyle Walker all scored more than Vertonghen, but none are central defenders. In the favoured three at the back, you’d probably have to drop Alonso. He hasn’t scored enough to warrant his usual left wing back position ahead of the highest scoring midfielders either…coming up next. Andrew Robertson missed 16 games and Phil Jones missed 15 games, but both beat all of the above, other than Alonso, in points per game. Jones managed 15 clean sheets in his 23 games. Basically – if he didn’t play – United usually conceded.

  • DM – Luca Milivojevic – 144 points
  • CM – Kevin De Bruyne – 209 points
  • AM – Mohamed Salah – 303 points
  • AM – Raheem Sterling – 229 points
  • AM – Christian Eriksen – 199 points

Obviously, this is where it all gets a bit ‘debatable’. No real team is complete without some kind of defensive holding player, so when you see the PFA team of the year, and it’s basically a goalkeeper and 10 attackers, you do wonder if they ever really watch the game. But then if you were going to stick a defensive midfielder in there, you wouldn’t necessarily be basing their inclusion on their fantasy points total, seeing as how nothing they do is ever taken into consideration when the scores are totted up. You’d just pick N’Golo Kante and move on wouldn’t you? Milivojevic is definitely worth a mention though. Arguably the most reliable penalty taker in the league, double figures for goals and in the top 10 for bonuses.

  • CF – Harry Kane – 217 points

His best goalscoring season but not his his best fantasy season. Too many braces and hat tricks, if their can be such a thing, and not enough consistency. Kane would go missing for weeks, but then burst back into life racking up the highest bonus score too. It was all about catching him on a good day. He blanked in 19 gameweeks – half a season. Salah failed to score anything other than appearance points in only 10 games. Aguero, and latterly, Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang, finished the season with more points per match. There’s your front three for August.

 

 

Player awards

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Gameweek 37 results

May 11, 2018

1  same The Vinegar Pissers
P Hawkins
67 2209
2  up Nashton Villa
Jaime Nash
88 2188
3  up Edgbaston
Micheal Dinneen
89 2184
4  up Despicable Mee
Trevor Gordon
93 2183
5  same FC Caligula
Ajay Supeda
81 2167
6  down The Craggy Islanders
Adrian Roche
51 2155
7  same Hornets
Andrew Wade
70 2139
8  same Brexiter City
Colin Goulding
62 2132
9  same INIT FC
Mustafa khan
72 2119
10  up Fun Lovren Criminals
Paul Callaghan
108 2104
11  up It’sOnlyAGameFarke!
David Spinks
116 2094
12  same greenyteamy
adam greenwood
60 2088
13  down Rico united
JASON REACHER
63 2084
14  same The winnings R mine
david bruce
57 2077
15  down Emergency Gap Jumper
Ian Williams
59 2075
16  down Queen of the north
DORINE REACHER
50 2070
17  same Game of Throw-Ins
Ryan Garoghan
60 2060
18  down Kebab Eaters Utd
Paul Howard
59 2056
19  up Pure Buffoonery!
Jitesh Lakhani
116 2049
20  same Shoelace Untied
Caroline Strong
76 2040
21  down Rip Roaring Reds
Sean Whyton
48 2030
22  down We are Ayling
Paul Murray
74 2027
23  up Klopp of the Pochs
Jason Earwicker
102 2024
24  down Gotta Light?
Andrew Swift
80 2023
25  down Atlético Chappers
Richard Chapman
102 2018
26  up Your Ad Here
Matthew Hopkins
92 2006
27  up Golden Boys
Stephanie Cripps
83 1997
28  down To Elland Back
Alan Hardy
69 1996
29  down Aquamar 1564
Noel Driver
87 1992
30  down Flying squad
Matt Jarvis
49 1985
31  up Neil Madrid
Neil Strong
80 1981
32  up Pretty Schitty City
Alex Michaluk
103 1980
33  down mrs mcgoo
laura barrett
75 1978
34  down King Dunlap
Paul Bentz
66 1974
35  down Crazylegs XI
David Caldicott
82 1964
36  up blakes11
Steven Darling
86 1944
37  up musttryharder FC
Paul Telford
75 1943
38  down Kompany & Co
DEAN CRIPPS
46 1925
39  down FTM
Stu Smith
47 1925
40  up iamgroot
scott mcgow
61 1847
41  up cookster fc
Peter Cook
61 1845
42  up Jarv88
Paul Jarvis
71 1833
43  down romeoshondavan
Rob Hewer
32 1832
44  same Upper Bullens
Andy Taylor
57 1827
45  same disco dancer
darren frankland
54 1818
46  same Pudding And Pie
John Seacroft
72 1796
47  same Bakerlona FC
Stuart Baker
58 1770
48  same Release The Hounds
Paul Mitchell
96 1749
49  same Real Jorvik
Simon Brown
59 1702
50  same Biscuitmen
Chris Morton
69 1582

 

Manager of the week – Pure Buffoonery! – Jitesh Lakhani – 116 points

The gameweek which should probably have yielded the highest weekly score – didn’t. We did get a handful of managers passing the century barrier and all can consider themselves in with a good chance of picking up the last manager of the month award. Best team this week were Pure Buffoonery! who equaled It’sOnlyAGameFarke!’s 116 point total, but scored more goals – five to three. Both of these teams were bench boosted, and both had our player of the week. Although neither captained him. Had they, or any of the others with Pierre Emerick Aubameyang in their teams done so, they’d be looking at our highest weekly score and May Manager of the month prize. They’d be out of sight with a triple captain punt. We almost entirely went with either Harry Kane or a Manchester City player. And that’s why we were all just bubbling under the 100 point mark rather than cruising past it.

And so we enter our final gameweek. Any of the top four could probably finish top. Any of the top six could probably finish top four. This unfortunately rules out Hornets who were top for so long. For a debut season in the game as a whole, not just in our league, it’s a fantastic effort. Only Chelsea and Liverpool have something to play for in the last gameweek. Southampton could still theoretically go down if they suffer a pasting at the hands of Manchester City, which in October I wouldn’t have ruled out. But even this season’s champions look like they’ve had enough for now and are winding down ahead of the World Cup. I’d expect as many full strength teams as possible, teams going bananas, lots of goalfests, and as a result maybe a few twists and turns as our Buckets season comes to a close.

Player of the week – Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang – 23 points

Arsenal’s form has been so up and down with still no away win since the new year that their players were virtually ignored for this gameweek. And maybe rightly so given the 3-1 defeat to Leicester. Yet, maybe we should have all taken into consideration the last home game of the Wenger reign. A 5-0 thumping of Burnley produced four double figure scorers. Aubameyang finished the week – scoring their single reply against Leicester as well – with his 9th goal in thirteen games. One to watch from the off next season.

Bargain of the week – Adrian – 19 points

The big scores came from some unexpected places this week. Adrian kept two clean sheets, made a hatful of saves and picked up four bonus marks to finish as the second highest scorer. Of the bottom half teams playing twice managers tended to favour Swansea assets over the likes of Brighton, Huddersfield and West Ham. Wrong choice. Swansea are down. The Hammers, Terriers and the Seagulls are safe.

Twat of the week – James Tarkowski – -1 points

Burnley have done all that was expected of them and more this season by qualifying for Europe, so maybe their foot was off the gas a little. That combined with the last Wenger home game factor and an Arsenal win was kind of inevitable. Burnley will be disappointed to have conceded five, as will those stuck with Burnely defenders following their previous double gameweek appearance and no chips left to get rid of them.

Goal of the week – Mark Noble. 

 

 

Gameweek 34 results

April 20, 2018

1  same The Vinegar Pissers
P Hawkins
106 2069
2  up The Craggy Islanders
Adrian Roche
107 2008
3  down Hornets
Andrew Wade
74 1985
4  up Despicable Mee
Trevor Gordon
91 1984
5  down Nashton Villa
Jaime Nash
76 1982
6  down Brexiter City
Colin Goulding
81 1981
7  same FC Caligula
Ajay Supeda
105 1980
8  same Edgbaston
Micheal Dinneen
99 1969
9  up greenyteamy
adam greenwood
78 1940
10  up INIT FC
Mustafa khan
112 1938
11  down Emergency Gap Jumper
Ian Williams
69 1933
12  same Fun Lovren Criminals
Paul Callaghan
83 1928
13  same The winnings R mine
david bruce
80 1925
14  down Game of Throw-Ins
Ryan Garoghan
65 1922
15  down Queen of the north
DORINE REACHER
82 1916
16  down Rico united
JASON REACHER
83 1908
17  same Rip Roaring Reds
Sean Whyton
63 1889
18  up Kebab Eaters Utd
Paul Howard
113 1885
19  same We are Ayling
Paul Murray
93 1882
20  same It’sOnlyAGameFarke!
David Spinks
73 1879
21  down Gotta Light?
Andrew Swift
57 1872
22  same Shoelace Untied
Caroline Strong
72 1870
23  down Atlético Chappers
Richard Chapman
74 1866
24  down Golden Boys
Stephanie Cripps
73 1852
25  same Flying squad
Matt Jarvis
83 1845
26  same Aquamar 1564
Noel Driver
81 1837
27  down Pure Buffoonery!
Jitesh Lakhani
89 1837
28  up To Elland Back
Alan Hardy
91 1834
29  same Klopp of the Pochs
Jason Earwicker
75 1823
30  down Your Ad Here
Matthew Hopkins
64 1818
31  up Neil Madrid
Neil Strong
82 1812
32  up Kompany & Co
DEAN CRIPPS
75 1807
33  up mrs mcgoo
laura barrett
70 1800
34  down Crazylegs XI
David Caldicott
56 1799
35  down Pretty Schitty City
Alex Michaluk
52 1797
36  same musttryharder FC
Paul Telford
64 1791
37  same FTM
Stu Smith
73 1785
38  same King Dunlap
Paul Bentz
93 1783
39  same blakes11
Steven Darling
80 1757
40  up cookster fc
Peter Cook
68 1717
41  up Jarv88
Paul Jarvis
73 1707
42  down iamgroot
scott mcgow
54 1705
43  up romeoshondavan
Rob Hewer
78 1693
44  down Upper Bullens
Andy Taylor
49 1687
45  same Pudding And Pie
John Seacroft
82 1672
46  same Bakerlona FC
Stuart Baker
69 1648
47  same disco dancer
darren frankland
90 1645
48  same Real Jorvik
Simon Brown
61 1572
49  same Release The Hounds
Paul Mitchell
72 1552
50  same Biscuitmen
Chris Morton
73 1449

 

Manager of the week – Kebab Eaters United – Paul Howard – 113 points

Only five 100+ scores in what was an underwhelming double gameweek. The highest scorers averaged not much more than what you’d expect from a single gameweek; and rotation, as it always does, reared it’s annoying, ugly head. Most managers played the week as best they could, utilising their bench boosts and triple captains, and most topped the worldwide average of 64 points, which is the highest of the season so far. The best Buckets team were the Kebab Eaters. Their 113 points was enough to climb them six places and within sight of the top 10. They bench boosted with Chris Smalling, Pascal Gross, Romelu Lukaku and Luca Milivojevic all among their XV.

The Vinegar Pissers stretched their lead at the top to 61 points and have gone top 10,000 in the world. They also topped the century mark. As did The Craggy Islanders, who are now in second, and FC Caligula, who now sit seventh. And like a Grand National finish, the favourites are taking their positions and getting ready to pounce in the final furlongs. Despicable Mee also rose another two places into fourth. The chipless Hornets dropped to third but did well not to lose too much ground and still post a respectable 74 points. Both Nashton and Brexiter, who didn’t use a chip this week, also scored well and despite dropping places aren’t out of the race. They do have one chip left each – their bench boost – surely lined up for GW37. The VPs, the Islanders and Despicable all have their triple captain remaining. But keep an eye on Caligula. They still have their free hit, probably primed for the upcoming week, and their triple captain, again no doubt ready for GW37. Some teams may be a player or two short for the coming week’s reduced schedule – Caligula can pick who they want.

Player of the week – Chris Smalling – 16 points

Man United defenders were always likely to be well positioned to score highly this week with two fixtures against West Brom and Bournemouth. It didn’t start well with a 1-0 loss to the bottom club. That prompted all kinds of unsettling hints from Mourinho about dropping players. Smalling played both games, perhaps underlining the fact he’s as guaranteed a starter as anyone at the moment. He also made up for conceding against West Brom by scoring against Bournemouth, earning back the clean sheet points he should never have lost in the first place.

Bargain of the week – Jan Bednarek – 13 points

Drafted in by Mark Hughes to make his Southampton debut out of sheer desparation – and it paid off – if you’re a fantasy manager and you’d taken the longest punt imaginable and plonked him in your squad. Only 6,000 managers have him in their team in the world and I imagine most of them aren’t playing any more. He may appear in a few more next week as he managed a goal and a clean sheet across his double gameweek appearances. He could come in very useful come GW37 when Saints play twice again and you want to save some money.

Twat of the week – Wayne Hennessey – 0 points

One of those weeks where no-one really earned the wooden spoon award. Hennessey conceded two and picked up a yellow, so he’s the worse player you could have picked. Palace don’t really keep clean sheets, so more fool you if you thought they would in this relegation scrap against their so called derby rivals.

Goal of the week – Any Carroll. 

Another double gameweek let down – given the amount of games you’d have expected at least one screamer. This was the best of a pretty lame bunch. 2m29s

1  up The Vinegar Pissers
P Hawkins
124 1868
2  same Hornets
Andrew Wade
80 1825
3  down Brexiter City
Colin Goulding
77 1817
4  same The Craggy Islanders
Adrian Roche
84 1804
5  same Despicable Mee
Trevor Gordon
89 1795
6  same Nashton Villa
Jaime Nash
93 1794
7  same Game of Throw-Ins
Ryan Garoghan
81 1781
8  up FC Caligula
Ajay Supeda
98 1781
9  up Edgbaston
Micheal Dinneen
104 1776
10  same Gotta Light?
Andrew Swift
72 1769
11  down The winnings R mine
david bruce
67 1765
12  up Rip Roaring Reds
Sean Whyton
112 1763
13  up Emergency Gap Jumper
Ian Williams
102 1756
14  same INIT FC
Mustafa khan
90 1754
15  down greenyteamy
adam greenwood
62 1749
16  down Queen of the north
DORINE REACHER
85 1743
17  down Fun Lovren Criminals
Paul Callaghan
46 1741
18  up Atlético Chappers
Richard Chapman
110 1736
19  up Rico united
JASON REACHER
102 1736
20  down It’sOnlyAGameFarke!
David Spinks
74 1729
21  down Golden Boys
Stephanie Cripps
68 1723
22  same We are Ayling
Paul Murray
90 1719
23  up Shoelace Untied
Caroline Strong
84 1700
24  up Neil Madrid
Neil Strong
95 1688
25  up Your Ad Here
Matthew Hopkins
100 1685
26  up Kebab Eaters Utd
Paul Howard
100 1679
27  down Aquamar 1564
Noel Driver
86 1677
28  up To Elland Back
Alan Hardy
112 1676
29  down Kompany & Co
DEAN CRIPPS
35 1673
30  down Flying squad
Matt Jarvis
83 1670
31  up Klopp of the Pochs
Jason Earwicker
102 1666
32  up Pure Buffoonery!
Jitesh Lakhani
83 1652
33  down musttryharder FC
Paul Telford
77 1647
34  down Crazylegs XI
David Caldicott
34 1643
35  down Pretty Schitty City
Alex Michaluk
43 1637
36  down King Dunlap
Paul Bentz
71 1636
37  up mrs mcgoo
laura barrett
104 1626
38  down blakes11
Steven Darling
54 1607
39  up FTM
Stu Smith
120 1604
40  down Upper Bullens
Andy Taylor
56 1563
41  up iamgroot
scott mcgow
102 1563
42  up romeoshondavan
Rob Hewer
88 1559
43  down Jarv88
Paul Jarvis
109 1556
44  down cookster fc
Peter Cook
36 1546
45  down Pudding And Pie
John Seacroft
51 1525
46  down Bakerlona FC
Stuart Baker
44 1514
47  same disco dancer
darren frankland
61 1477
48  same Real Jorvik
Simon Brown
29 1437
49  same Release The Hounds
Paul Mitchell
12 1401
50  same Biscuitmen
Chris Morton
23 1291

 

Buckets Cup Winners – Emegency Gap Jumper

This season’s Bucket Cup champions are Emergency Gap Jumper. They beat Game Of Throw Ins by 102 – 81. Congratulations to them. It’s their first prize money in their 10th Bucket Season. EGJ opted to wildcard, fielding a full XI, whereas GOTI chose not to and went with a seven man squad. The news EGJ won’t want to hear is that they could have beaten GOTI by not wildcarding and simply playing the six players they already had in their squad who were potentially going to play this gameweek. Salah, as captain, Pickford, Milivojevic, Firmino, Doucoure and Gomez would have amassed 85 points.

Manager of the week – The Vinegar Pissers – Paul Hawkins – 124 points

Last week we all put out full teams and some of us struggled to reach what was one of the lowest average scores of the season. This week we’ve four matches in a vastly reduced gameweek – meaning eight teams – seven of them being shit – and 14 Buckets managers post scores of 100+. And it’s all thanks to one player. If ever there was a week in which everybody was going to captain the same man it was this one. Only the ghostships and the league leader decided Mohamed Salah wasn’t up to the job. Brexiter drop to third as a result of their decision to take a punt on Firmino. However, had they gone with Salah, they’d still have lost their lead to The Vinegar Pissers, who have been threatening to take over the top spot for a number of weeks now. Who’d have thought this week would give up the highest gameweek score as well? The VPs only got eight players out, but it would have been a struggle to pick a worse eight. Only Callum Wilson offered up appearance points. Their three man defence contributed a clean sheet each, a goal, an assist and five bonus points. Mane and Milovejevic, playing alongside Salah, added a goal, two assists and two bonus points, and all of a sudden, Cenk Tosun needs to be taken seriously, scoring two to add to the other two he’s notched in his last two games. Four in three and he’s the striker in form.

The VPs have built up quite a lead as a result. Ordinarily you’re happy with an 80 point return, especially from a reduced gameweek, but Hornets are now conceding a 43 point lead to the new leaders. An honorable mention should go to FTM who achieved the second highest score of the weekend and did so by playing their free hit. The free hit chip was developed for gameweeks like this one. FTM finished four shy of The VPs. A bit more faith in Bournemouth or more investment in the Crystal Palace defence over the Everton defence would have seen them over the line. Yet, despite all their efforts, they only moved up two places in the league.

Player of the week – Mohamed Salah – 29 points

It’s the highest weekly score of the season. It’s, from memory, the second highest weekly score ever and the highest single gameweek score. It’s his 14th double figure haul of the season. There have only been seven weeks in the 31 in which he hasn’t either scored or assisted. It’s four goals, an assist and inevitably, all the bonus points. It’s Mohamed Salah, who now sits on 266 points from 30 of the 31 gameweeks. That’s an average of 8.86 points a game. At that rate he should surpass the 300 point mark and become the first player to do that. Luis Suarez’s record is 295 from the 2013/2014 season. Just leave the armband where it is.

Bargain of the week – James Tomkins – 15 points

In truth the other big scores of the weekend could have gone anywhere. Any one of the other teams could have kept a clean sheet or scored a hatful. Those who took a punt on Palace players would have ended up happy, particularly those opting for James Tomkins. He’s the safest route into that Palace defence at the moment – if you dare venture there. You couldn’t have asked for much more than a goal, clean sheet and all the bonus marks. Apart from maybe a second goal, which he as inches away from getting. Just don’t pick him next week.

Twat of the week – Charlie Adam – -2 points

I’m not sure he was gracing too many teams. In fact, he’s been dropping out of squads as opposed to being brought in ahead of this gameweek, which says a lot. Xherdan Shaqiri looked like the most optimistic Stoke choice, along with Jack Butland, who has been racking up the save points over the last few weeks. Shaqiri failed to deliver, but Butland’s 3 point return was the average keeper score. Watford and Huddersfield were the teams to completely ignore this week.

Goal of the week – Junior Stanislas.

1m20s in

 

Gameweek 30 results

March 13, 2018

1  up Brexiter City
Colin Goulding
43 1748
2  down Hornets
Andrew Wade
23 1745
3  same The Vinegar Pissers
P Hawkins
48 1744
4  up The Craggy Islanders
Adrian Roche
49 1724
5  up Despicable Mee
Trevor Gordon
59 1710
6  same Nashton Villa
Jaime Nash
37 1705
7  up Game of Throw-Ins
Ryan Garoghan
48 1700
8  same Fun Lovren Criminals
Paul Callaghan
47 1699
9  down The winnings R mine
david bruce
31 1698
10  down Gotta Light?
Andrew Swift
14 1697
11  same greenyteamy
adam greenwood
41 1687
12  up FC Caligula
Ajay Supeda
64 1687
13  down Edgbaston
Micheal Dinneen
42 1672
14  same INIT FC
Mustafa khan
47 1668
15  up Queen of the north
DORINE REACHER
52 1662
16  up Golden Boys
Stephanie Cripps
62 1655
17  down It’sOnlyAGameFarke!
David Spinks
36 1655
18  same Emergency Gap Jumper
Ian Williams
53 1654
19  down Rip Roaring Reds
Sean Whyton
31 1651
20  down Kompany & Co
DEAN CRIPPS
38 1638
21  down Rico united
JASON REACHER
42 1638
22  same We are Ayling
Paul Murray
37 1629
23  same Atlético Chappers
Richard Chapman
45 1626
24  same Shoelace Untied
Caroline Strong
46 1616
25  up Crazylegs XI
David Caldicott
72 1609
26  same Aquamar 1564
Noel Driver
37 1599
27  down Neil Madrid
Neil Strong
24 1597
28  up Pretty Schitty City
Alex Michaluk
54 1594
29  same Flying squad
Matt Jarvis
47 1591
30  down Kebab Eaters Utd
Paul Howard
25 1587
31  down Your Ad Here
Matthew Hopkins
33 1585
32  down musttryharder FC
Paul Telford
28 1570
33  up Pure Buffoonery!
Jitesh Lakhani
47 1569
34  same King Dunlap
Paul Bentz
34 1565
35  up To Elland Back
Alan Hardy
45 1564
36  down Klopp of the Pochs
Jason Earwicker
20 1564
37  down blakes11
Steven Darling
37 1553
38  same Upper Bullens
Andy Taylor
31 1547
39  same mrs mcgoo
laura barrett
69 1530
40  same cookster fc
Peter Cook
54 1510
41  up FTM
Stu Smith
45 1484
42  up Jarv88
Paul Jarvis
56 1475
43  down Pudding And Pie
John Seacroft
25 1474
44  same romeoshondavan
Rob Hewer
48 1471
45  down Bakerlona FC
Stuart Baker
23 1470
46  down iamgroot
scott mcgow
50 1469
47  same disco dancer
darren frankland
24 1416
48  same Real Jorvik
Simon Brown
39 1408
49  same Release The Hounds
Paul Mitchell
42 1389
50  same Biscuitmen
Chris Morton
57 1268

 

Buckets Cup semi finals

The final of the 2018 Buckets Cup will be between Game Of Throw Ins and Emergency Gap Jumper. GOTI beat Hornets, who had the unluckiest of gameweeks. As well as semi final defeat, they also lost their lead at the top of the table, no thanks to their strike force accumulating -1 points from 43 minutes of football played between them. They weren’t the only team to suffer from the Jordan Ayew sending off and the Harry Kane injury. Most of us had Harry Kane as captain. Emergecy Gap jumper were one of the few to continue with Mo Salah. In truth, had both EGJ and their opponents, Atletico Chappers, chose Kane, the result wouldn’t have been any different, but following that rare blank from the Egyptian, a single goal from the Spurs striker would have seen Chappers progress at EGJ’s expense. And now we’re wondering whether he’s out for the season.

It’s pure coincidence that the final has been drawn to be played in the reduced GW31. It’ll be interesting to see how our finalists play it. As it stands both teams have six potential starters and a remaining wildcard. Game Of Throw Ins have two free transfers. Arguably, they’re also in with a chance of league victory, sitting just 41 points behind our top team. EGJ are 94 points back from first and 70 points adrift from fourth. There’s an outside chance of league money, but that’s a lot less likely than their opponents. Of the eight teams that are playing, there’s not an awful lot to choose from. I guarantee three Liverpool players in both teams, but after that you’re picking and choosing from a pretty woeful bunch, bar maybe Xherdan Shaqiri. Only four players appear in the top 30 overall scorers. Where’s it going to leave you by the time GW32 comes round?

Manager of the week – David Caldicott – Crazylegs XI – 72 points

Classic ghostship material. Here we all are trying to negotiate the choppy waters ahead leading into GW31 and from out of nowhere comes Crazylegs, who lost interest around Christmas, captained by David Silva. They’ve been captained by David Silva since November. All the way through the time he was out and back in Spain for family reasons. They took eight points from the bench from two replacement players. They picked up six points from the first Arsenal clean sheet since the days of John Lukic and leapt eight places above a clutch of teams who I guarantee spent all week agonising over their team picks. Bastards.

Player of the week – Kenedy – 16 points

A double that did for Mauricio Pellegrino and yo-yo’d Newcastle back up to mid table in this crazy relegation race. The Brazilian has been a regular starter since his loan move, will cost you only £4.7 million and is averaging 6 points a game. Newcastle have a double gameweek on the horizon and he must be a consideration for a bench boost squad.

Bargain of the week – Chris Wood – 15 points

Back after a long injury lay off and has 20 points in two weeks. However, both totals were amassed from substitute appearances and it’ll be tough to dislodge Ashley Barnes from the Burnley central striker role given the form that he is also in at the moment. Having said that Sean Dyche has brought Wood on in both matches to partner Barnes, so whose to say he wouldn’t consider starting them both.

Twat of the week – Jordan Ayew – -2 points

Now you’ve got to start searching for a new third striker. There aren’t many out there. Ayew was fulfilling that role quite nicely until the 10th minute of Swansea’s game against Huddersfield on Saturday. Imagine having him alongside Kane and Aguero for the weekend. Three players not even completing a half of football. Imagine.

Goal of the week – Jamie Vardy. 

Definite GOTS contender – 27s in.

 

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