Season review

1  same The Vinegar Pissers
P Hawkins
84 2289
2  same Nashton Villa
Jaime Nash
65 2253
3  same Edgbaston
Micheal Dinneen
67 2251
4  same Despicable Mee
Trevor Gordon
67 2250
5  same FC Caligula
Ajay Supeda
86 2245
6  same The Craggy Islanders
Adrian Roche
65 2216
7  same Hornets
Andrew Wade
76 2215
8  up INIT FC
Mustafa khan
74 2193
9  down Brexiter City
Colin Goulding
52 2184
10  up It’sOnlyAGameFarke!
David Spinks
66 2156
11  up Rico united
JASON REACHER
71 2155
12  up The winnings R mine
david bruce
71 2148
13  down greenyteamy
adam greenwood
51 2139
14  down Fun Lovren Criminals
Paul Callaghan
34 2134
15  up Game of Throw-Ins
Ryan Garoghan
73 2133
16  same Queen of the north
DORINE REACHER
55 2125
17  down Emergency Gap Jumper
Ian Williams
54 2125
18  same Kebab Eaters Utd
Paul Howard
60 2108
19  same Pure Buffoonery!
Jitesh Lakhani
54 2103
20  up We are Ayling
Paul Murray
68 2095
21  up Your Ad Here
Matthew Hopkins
88 2094
22  up Gotta Light?
Andrew Swift
66 2089
23  down Shoelace Untied
Caroline Strong
53 2089
24  down Klopp of the Pochs
Jason Earwicker
58 2082
25  down Rip Roaring Reds
Sean Whyton
48 2078
26  down Atlético Chappers
Richard Chapman
55 2073
27  up Flying squad
Matt Jarvis
87 2072
28  up Pretty Schitty City
Alex Michaluk
85 2065
29  down To Elland Back
Alan Hardy
69 2061
30  up Neil Madrid
Neil Strong
84 2061
31  down Golden Boys
Stephanie Cripps
55 2052
32  up King Dunlap
Paul Bentz
80 2050
33  same mrs mcgoo
laura barrett
70 2048
34  down Aquamar 1564
Noel Driver
43 2035
35  same Crazylegs XI
David Caldicott
57 2021
36  same blakes11
Steven Darling
54 1998
37  same musttryharder FC
Paul Telford
52 1995
38  same Kompany & Co
DEAN CRIPPS
58 1983
39  same FTM
Stu Smith
55 1980
40  up Jarv88
Paul Jarvis
85 1918
41  down iamgroot
scott mcgow
56 1903
42  up romeoshondavan
Rob Hewer
66 1898
43  up Upper Bullens
Andy Taylor
69 1896
44  down cookster fc
Peter Cook
50 1895
45  same disco dancer
darren frankland
61 1879
46  same Pudding And Pie
John Seacroft
52 1848
47  same Bakerlona FC
Stuart Baker
59 1829
48  same Release The Hounds
Paul Mitchell
50 1799
49  same Real Jorvik
Simon Brown
50 1752
50  same Biscuitmen
Chris Morton
71 1653

 

Winners – The Vinegar Pissers 

The third manager to pick up their second title scoring the second highest finishing total. The Vinegar Pissers only spent six weeks outside of our top 10, first taking root in GW5. They did drop to the depths of 11th and 12th, before permanently floating around 6th until gameweek 29, when a manager of the week performance saw them rise to third. Then GW31 – only four games – but a Mohamed Salah masterclass and everybody’s posting 100+ totals and challenging for the highest weekly score prize. The VP’s kicked arse with 124 points from eight players, 58 of which came from Salah. That put them at the top of the league and that’s where they stayed – and in truth, no-one really got that close to them. Congratulations to the Pissers. They got as high as 8,202nd in the world, never took more than a four point hit, played their triple captain and bench boost in the run in and utilised their free hit well, picking up a good score with it and a green arrow just before Christmas. Interestingly, they played their wildcards at almost the earliest possibly opportunity on both occasions. Proving that there is still no logic to this game and it’s all complete luck.

Runners up – Nashton Villa, Edgbaston and Despicable Mee 

Our Champions League qualifiers all had similar seasons, making their surge into the top ten and then the top four at around the same time. It was during March that they all lost ground on the VPs and were left desperately trying to claw back the points lost during gameweeks 29 and 31 – the two weeks that definitely won the VP’s that manager of the month, and arguably won them the league. It was a superb debut season for Nashton who reached their highest worldwide position after GW37, but were unable to continue the rise and challenge for the top spot. They would have had to surpass the 100 point mark in GW38 to knock our champions off their perch.

Edgbaston have finally crept into our top four after two consecutive 5th place finishes, despite finishing lower in the world rankings than in both of their last two attempts. And fourth placed Despicable Mee are regressing. Two consecutive runners up placings and now fourth place. Once always the bridesmaid – now a distant uncle only invited because they had a space to fill. In all seriousness – if one of these two doesn’t win this title soon, I’d be very surprised.

The rest

There were valiant efforts by two former champs who just ran out of steam at the last knockings – FC Caligula and The Craggy Islanders finished 5th and 6th respectively. We’re sure to see them in the running next season. Hornets, a total rookie FPL debutant, who were top every week bar three between gameweeks 2 and 29, finished in a respectable 7th. By gameweek 16 they had climbed to 1,663rd in the world, as high (possibly) as any Buckets manager has been, but they peaked too early. Better understanding of the chips and when to play them might serve them better next season. The rest of us – probably got stung by Harry Kane once too often, and only realised when it was too late that they should have had Mo Salah as captain EVERY WEEK.

The awards

We had more managers of the week scoring 100+ scores than in any previous season. The Vinegar Pissers’ 124 point score was the second highest weekly winning score, but falls way behind their own record set in the 2013-2014 season when they managed 165 points in a week in which virtually everybody passed the 100 point barrier following a mammoth double gameweek. That same season produced the highest winning finishing score in our league of 2356 points. Despite there being more 100+ weekly winners in this season, The VPs finished 67 points behind that total. It’s worth noting that the 124 points scored in GW31 was done so from only four games. Another thirteen of our fifty teams passed the century mark that week. And most of them were only fielding bit part teams.

We had ten different managers of the month, six managers taking two weekly accolades, but only one, The bloody Vinegar Pissers, managing three highest weekly scores. Shoelace Untied took the December prize, accumulating 477 points for the month – the highest ever monthly total.

The players

We may have fallen just short of breaking our manager records this season, but the reason we got so close was largely due to one player – Mohamed Salah. He became the first player to pass 300 points for the season. No-one else came close – which may explain why we didn’t quite eclipse the higher scores from four years ago. Back then, in the ‘Suarez’ season, there was a great supporting cast, with the likes of Daniel Sturridge, Steven Gerrard, Raheem Sterling, Robin Van Persie, Yaya Toure and Eden Hazard all scoring big, playing consistently and featuring in a lot of teams. This season only Harry Kane, Sterling and Kevin De Bruyne passed the 200 point mark. Despite Kane running Salah (fairly) close in the golden boot chase, he was still close to 100 points behind. Which says more about the frustrating, annoying, inconsistent, trolling season the Spurs striker had. Nowt for weeks then just when you get sick of it all three frickin’ hat tricks…or whatever it was. Dickhead. Still – he’ll be in from the start next season.

Kane picked up more player of the week awards (three) than anyone else. Salah, who only scored more than anyone else once throughout the whole season, was much more consistent. A goal every week rather than three and a gap. And lets mention GW31 again – 29 points – the highest ever single match gameweek score. Sergio Aguero, Heung-Min Son and Marko Arnautovic were the only other players to get two player of the week awards. Tottenham won the award six times ahead of Chelsea with five, and then perhaps surprisingly, Manchester City, with only four winners. Ayoze Perez, Federico Fernandez and Callum Wilson showed up on the bargain list more than once and Newcastle appeared to be the best go-to cheapo team, winning the award five times over the course of the season. Watford were king of the twats offering up six ‘worst of the week’, with Jose Holebas winning the award twice. Jack Stephens also won it twice – and in consecutive weeks, so well done to him. Manchester City did dominate the goal of the week contenders with eight wins, but anyone who tells you that Jamie Vardy’s over the shoulder volley against West Brom in GW30 isn’t the goal of the season, is some kind of goon.

Debatable team of the season

  • GK – David De Gea – 172 points

No arguments here, although Lorus Karius did pick up more points per match of all keepers playing more than 10 games. Karius and Mignolet played half a season each – 19 games a piece. Mignolet scored on average 1.1 points per game less and kept three less clean sheets – although still 7 out of 19 which is pretty respectable.

  • DR – Cesar Azpilicueta – 175 points
  • DL – Marcos Alonso – 165 points
  • DC – Nicolas Otamendi – 156 points
  • DC – Jan Vertonghen – 138 points

Antonio Valencia, Ben Davies and Kyle Walker all scored more than Vertonghen, but none are central defenders. In the favoured three at the back, you’d probably have to drop Alonso. He hasn’t scored enough to warrant his usual left wing back position ahead of the highest scoring midfielders either…coming up next. Andrew Robertson missed 16 games and Phil Jones missed 15 games, but both beat all of the above, other than Alonso, in points per game. Jones managed 15 clean sheets in his 23 games. Basically – if he didn’t play – United usually conceded.

  • DM – Luca Milivojevic – 144 points
  • CM – Kevin De Bruyne – 209 points
  • AM – Mohamed Salah – 303 points
  • AM – Raheem Sterling – 229 points
  • AM – Christian Eriksen – 199 points

Obviously, this is where it all gets a bit ‘debatable’. No real team is complete without some kind of defensive holding player, so when you see the PFA team of the year, and it’s basically a goalkeeper and 10 attackers, you do wonder if they ever really watch the game. But then if you were going to stick a defensive midfielder in there, you wouldn’t necessarily be basing their inclusion on their fantasy points total, seeing as how nothing they do is ever taken into consideration when the scores are totted up. You’d just pick N’Golo Kante and move on wouldn’t you? Milivojevic is definitely worth a mention though. Arguably the most reliable penalty taker in the league, double figures for goals and in the top 10 for bonuses.

  • CF – Harry Kane – 217 points

His best goalscoring season but not his his best fantasy season. Too many braces and hat tricks, if their can be such a thing, and not enough consistency. Kane would go missing for weeks, but then burst back into life racking up the highest bonus score too. It was all about catching him on a good day. He blanked in 19 gameweeks – half a season. Salah failed to score anything other than appearance points in only 10 games. Aguero, and latterly, Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang, finished the season with more points per match. There’s your front three for August.

 

 

Player awards

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Gameweek 34 results

1  same The Vinegar Pissers
P Hawkins
106 2069
2  up The Craggy Islanders
Adrian Roche
107 2008
3  down Hornets
Andrew Wade
74 1985
4  up Despicable Mee
Trevor Gordon
91 1984
5  down Nashton Villa
Jaime Nash
76 1982
6  down Brexiter City
Colin Goulding
81 1981
7  same FC Caligula
Ajay Supeda
105 1980
8  same Edgbaston
Micheal Dinneen
99 1969
9  up greenyteamy
adam greenwood
78 1940
10  up INIT FC
Mustafa khan
112 1938
11  down Emergency Gap Jumper
Ian Williams
69 1933
12  same Fun Lovren Criminals
Paul Callaghan
83 1928
13  same The winnings R mine
david bruce
80 1925
14  down Game of Throw-Ins
Ryan Garoghan
65 1922
15  down Queen of the north
DORINE REACHER
82 1916
16  down Rico united
JASON REACHER
83 1908
17  same Rip Roaring Reds
Sean Whyton
63 1889
18  up Kebab Eaters Utd
Paul Howard
113 1885
19  same We are Ayling
Paul Murray
93 1882
20  same It’sOnlyAGameFarke!
David Spinks
73 1879
21  down Gotta Light?
Andrew Swift
57 1872
22  same Shoelace Untied
Caroline Strong
72 1870
23  down Atlético Chappers
Richard Chapman
74 1866
24  down Golden Boys
Stephanie Cripps
73 1852
25  same Flying squad
Matt Jarvis
83 1845
26  same Aquamar 1564
Noel Driver
81 1837
27  down Pure Buffoonery!
Jitesh Lakhani
89 1837
28  up To Elland Back
Alan Hardy
91 1834
29  same Klopp of the Pochs
Jason Earwicker
75 1823
30  down Your Ad Here
Matthew Hopkins
64 1818
31  up Neil Madrid
Neil Strong
82 1812
32  up Kompany & Co
DEAN CRIPPS
75 1807
33  up mrs mcgoo
laura barrett
70 1800
34  down Crazylegs XI
David Caldicott
56 1799
35  down Pretty Schitty City
Alex Michaluk
52 1797
36  same musttryharder FC
Paul Telford
64 1791
37  same FTM
Stu Smith
73 1785
38  same King Dunlap
Paul Bentz
93 1783
39  same blakes11
Steven Darling
80 1757
40  up cookster fc
Peter Cook
68 1717
41  up Jarv88
Paul Jarvis
73 1707
42  down iamgroot
scott mcgow
54 1705
43  up romeoshondavan
Rob Hewer
78 1693
44  down Upper Bullens
Andy Taylor
49 1687
45  same Pudding And Pie
John Seacroft
82 1672
46  same Bakerlona FC
Stuart Baker
69 1648
47  same disco dancer
darren frankland
90 1645
48  same Real Jorvik
Simon Brown
61 1572
49  same Release The Hounds
Paul Mitchell
72 1552
50  same Biscuitmen
Chris Morton
73 1449

 

Manager of the week – Kebab Eaters United – Paul Howard – 113 points

Only five 100+ scores in what was an underwhelming double gameweek. The highest scorers averaged not much more than what you’d expect from a single gameweek; and rotation, as it always does, reared it’s annoying, ugly head. Most managers played the week as best they could, utilising their bench boosts and triple captains, and most topped the worldwide average of 64 points, which is the highest of the season so far. The best Buckets team were the Kebab Eaters. Their 113 points was enough to climb them six places and within sight of the top 10. They bench boosted with Chris Smalling, Pascal Gross, Romelu Lukaku and Luca Milivojevic all among their XV.

The Vinegar Pissers stretched their lead at the top to 61 points and have gone top 10,000 in the world. They also topped the century mark. As did The Craggy Islanders, who are now in second, and FC Caligula, who now sit seventh. And like a Grand National finish, the favourites are taking their positions and getting ready to pounce in the final furlongs. Despicable Mee also rose another two places into fourth. The chipless Hornets dropped to third but did well not to lose too much ground and still post a respectable 74 points. Both Nashton and Brexiter, who didn’t use a chip this week, also scored well and despite dropping places aren’t out of the race. They do have one chip left each – their bench boost – surely lined up for GW37. The VPs, the Islanders and Despicable all have their triple captain remaining. But keep an eye on Caligula. They still have their free hit, probably primed for the upcoming week, and their triple captain, again no doubt ready for GW37. Some teams may be a player or two short for the coming week’s reduced schedule – Caligula can pick who they want.

Player of the week – Chris Smalling – 16 points

Man United defenders were always likely to be well positioned to score highly this week with two fixtures against West Brom and Bournemouth. It didn’t start well with a 1-0 loss to the bottom club. That prompted all kinds of unsettling hints from Mourinho about dropping players. Smalling played both games, perhaps underlining the fact he’s as guaranteed a starter as anyone at the moment. He also made up for conceding against West Brom by scoring against Bournemouth, earning back the clean sheet points he should never have lost in the first place.

Bargain of the week – Jan Bednarek – 13 points

Drafted in by Mark Hughes to make his Southampton debut out of sheer desparation – and it paid off – if you’re a fantasy manager and you’d taken the longest punt imaginable and plonked him in your squad. Only 6,000 managers have him in their team in the world and I imagine most of them aren’t playing any more. He may appear in a few more next week as he managed a goal and a clean sheet across his double gameweek appearances. He could come in very useful come GW37 when Saints play twice again and you want to save some money.

Twat of the week – Wayne Hennessey – 0 points

One of those weeks where no-one really earned the wooden spoon award. Hennessey conceded two and picked up a yellow, so he’s the worse player you could have picked. Palace don’t really keep clean sheets, so more fool you if you thought they would in this relegation scrap against their so called derby rivals.

Goal of the week – Any Carroll. 

Another double gameweek let down – given the amount of games you’d have expected at least one screamer. This was the best of a pretty lame bunch. 2m29s

Gameweek 32 results and March Manager of the Month

1  same The Vinegar Pissers
P Hawkins
58 1926
2  same Hornets
Andrew Wade
63 1888
3  up The Craggy Islanders
Adrian Roche
66 1870
4  down Brexiter City
Colin Goulding
54 1867
5  same Despicable Mee
Trevor Gordon
66 1861
6  same Nashton Villa
Jaime Nash
64 1858
7  up FC Caligula
Ajay Supeda
59 1840
8  up Edgbaston
Micheal Dinneen
56 1832
9  down Game of Throw-Ins
Ryan Garoghan
47 1828
10  up The winnings R mine
david bruce
49 1814
11  up greenyteamy
adam greenwood
62 1811
12  same Rip Roaring Reds
Sean Whyton
44 1807
13  down Gotta Light?
Andrew Swift
35 1804
14  up Queen of the north
DORINE REACHER
68 1803
15  down Emergency Gap Jumper
Ian Williams
51 1803
16  up Fun Lovren Criminals
Paul Callaghan
61 1802
17  up Rico united
JASON REACHER
67 1799
18  down INIT FC
Mustafa khan
49 1799
19  up It’sOnlyAGameFarke!
David Spinks
53 1778
20  down Atlético Chappers
Richard Chapman
41 1777
21  up We are Ayling
Paul Murray
50 1769
22  down Golden Boys
Stephanie Cripps
32 1755
23  same Shoelace Untied
Caroline Strong
52 1752
24  up Kebab Eaters Utd
Paul Howard
60 1739
25  same Your Ad Here
Matthew Hopkins
44 1729
26  up Aquamar 1564
Noel Driver
49 1726
27  up Flying squad
Matt Jarvis
59 1725
28  same To Elland Back
Alan Hardy
48 1724
29  down Neil Madrid
Neil Strong
47 1723
30  up Pure Buffoonery!
Jitesh Lakhani
68 1720
31  same Klopp of the Pochs
Jason Earwicker
53 1719
32  down Kompany & Co
DEAN CRIPPS
53 1718
33  up Crazylegs XI
David Caldicott
60 1703
34  down musttryharder FC
Paul Telford
50 1697
35  same Pretty Schitty City
Alex Michaluk
59 1696
36  up mrs mcgoo
laura barrett
62 1688
37  down King Dunlap
Paul Bentz
42 1678
38  up FTM
Stu Smith
68 1672
39  down blakes11
Steven Darling
45 1644
40  up iamgroot
scott mcgow
62 1625
41  down Upper Bullens
Andy Taylor
55 1618
42  same romeoshondavan
Rob Hewer
55 1614
43  same Jarv88
Paul Jarvis
56 1604
44  same cookster fc
Peter Cook
57 1603
45  up Bakerlona FC
Stuart Baker
45 1559
46  down Pudding And Pie
John Seacroft
34 1559
47  same disco dancer
darren frankland
58 1531
48  same Real Jorvik
Simon Brown
44 1481
49  same Release The Hounds
Paul Mitchell
46 1443
50  same Biscuitmen
Chris Morton
44 1335

 

March Manager of the Month – The Vinegar Pissers – Paul Hawkins – 304 points

There wasn’t really anyone else in it. During March The Vinegar Pissers have risen to the top of our league, climbed 100,000 places in the overall game into the top 20,000 and posted the highest weekly gameweek score of our season so far. They’ve no wildcard but all three chips remaining, meaning it looks like they’re in good shape to cope with gameweeks 34, 35 and 37. They’re our likely new favourites for the title and it’ll be a second time success for their manager. Beware of last year’s champs and runners up who are sat in 3rd and 5th respectively and on the climb.

Manager of the week – Pure Buffoonery! – Jitesh Lakhani – 68 points (7 goals)

Three teams picked up 68 points this week. Queen Of The North and FTM both scored four goals in reaching that total, but it’s Pure Buffoonery! with seven goals that take their place on the honours board. Seven goals is an impressive haul for a gameweek. They were scored by five different players with both Arnautovic and Aubameyang contributing a brace. Clearly they missed when placing the captain’s armband. Surely it was meant to land on Mo Salah, but instead ended up around Pascal Gross’ arm. Which would have been wonderful had it paid off, but it didn’t. But when your side bangs in seven goals, what does it matter?

Player of the week – Marko Arnautovic – 16 points

There haven’t been many double players of the week. Arnautovic becomes the fourth following Aguero, Son and Kane. He appears to be leading the line again following a spell relying on Javier Hernandez, which didn’t work out all that well. West Ham have a double gameweek upcoming – probably in GW37 – and they also play GW35. Arnautovic, who has scored his nine goals in 13 games, could be well worth keeping hold of if you’ve got him. Although, they won’t be playing Southampton every week.

Bargain of the week – Ben Chilwell – 11 points

Chilwell is winning the battle with Christian Fuchs for the Leicester left back role at the moment and at £4.3 with two double gameweeks on the horizon is a tempting prospect. He has two assists in his last two games, so there’s attacking potential there. This week he added a clean sheet. Leicester’s double gamewek opponents are Burnley, Southampton, West Ham and Arsenal. At least two, possibly even three of those four games could easily end up with more clean sheet points on the board.

Twat of the week – Jack Stephens – 0 points

It’s looking pretty dire for Southampton. They too have two double gameweeks to negotiate, but their run in is frightening. Chelsea, Leicester, Everton and Swansea make up their 34 and 37 opponents, which is bad enough. Add to that Arsenal next week and Manchester City last game of the season and even those that can’t resist filling the teams with double gameweekers are probably going to be steering well clear of Southampton players.

Goal of the week – Ashley Barnes. 

Was close to winning it a few weeks back. Definitely wins it this week. From the start.

 

Gameweek 31 results and Buckets Cup Final

1  up The Vinegar Pissers
P Hawkins
124 1868
2  same Hornets
Andrew Wade
80 1825
3  down Brexiter City
Colin Goulding
77 1817
4  same The Craggy Islanders
Adrian Roche
84 1804
5  same Despicable Mee
Trevor Gordon
89 1795
6  same Nashton Villa
Jaime Nash
93 1794
7  same Game of Throw-Ins
Ryan Garoghan
81 1781
8  up FC Caligula
Ajay Supeda
98 1781
9  up Edgbaston
Micheal Dinneen
104 1776
10  same Gotta Light?
Andrew Swift
72 1769
11  down The winnings R mine
david bruce
67 1765
12  up Rip Roaring Reds
Sean Whyton
112 1763
13  up Emergency Gap Jumper
Ian Williams
102 1756
14  same INIT FC
Mustafa khan
90 1754
15  down greenyteamy
adam greenwood
62 1749
16  down Queen of the north
DORINE REACHER
85 1743
17  down Fun Lovren Criminals
Paul Callaghan
46 1741
18  up Atlético Chappers
Richard Chapman
110 1736
19  up Rico united
JASON REACHER
102 1736
20  down It’sOnlyAGameFarke!
David Spinks
74 1729
21  down Golden Boys
Stephanie Cripps
68 1723
22  same We are Ayling
Paul Murray
90 1719
23  up Shoelace Untied
Caroline Strong
84 1700
24  up Neil Madrid
Neil Strong
95 1688
25  up Your Ad Here
Matthew Hopkins
100 1685
26  up Kebab Eaters Utd
Paul Howard
100 1679
27  down Aquamar 1564
Noel Driver
86 1677
28  up To Elland Back
Alan Hardy
112 1676
29  down Kompany & Co
DEAN CRIPPS
35 1673
30  down Flying squad
Matt Jarvis
83 1670
31  up Klopp of the Pochs
Jason Earwicker
102 1666
32  up Pure Buffoonery!
Jitesh Lakhani
83 1652
33  down musttryharder FC
Paul Telford
77 1647
34  down Crazylegs XI
David Caldicott
34 1643
35  down Pretty Schitty City
Alex Michaluk
43 1637
36  down King Dunlap
Paul Bentz
71 1636
37  up mrs mcgoo
laura barrett
104 1626
38  down blakes11
Steven Darling
54 1607
39  up FTM
Stu Smith
120 1604
40  down Upper Bullens
Andy Taylor
56 1563
41  up iamgroot
scott mcgow
102 1563
42  up romeoshondavan
Rob Hewer
88 1559
43  down Jarv88
Paul Jarvis
109 1556
44  down cookster fc
Peter Cook
36 1546
45  down Pudding And Pie
John Seacroft
51 1525
46  down Bakerlona FC
Stuart Baker
44 1514
47  same disco dancer
darren frankland
61 1477
48  same Real Jorvik
Simon Brown
29 1437
49  same Release The Hounds
Paul Mitchell
12 1401
50  same Biscuitmen
Chris Morton
23 1291

 

Buckets Cup Winners – Emegency Gap Jumper

This season’s Bucket Cup champions are Emergency Gap Jumper. They beat Game Of Throw Ins by 102 – 81. Congratulations to them. It’s their first prize money in their 10th Bucket Season. EGJ opted to wildcard, fielding a full XI, whereas GOTI chose not to and went with a seven man squad. The news EGJ won’t want to hear is that they could have beaten GOTI by not wildcarding and simply playing the six players they already had in their squad who were potentially going to play this gameweek. Salah, as captain, Pickford, Milivojevic, Firmino, Doucoure and Gomez would have amassed 85 points.

Manager of the week – The Vinegar Pissers – Paul Hawkins – 124 points

Last week we all put out full teams and some of us struggled to reach what was one of the lowest average scores of the season. This week we’ve four matches in a vastly reduced gameweek – meaning eight teams – seven of them being shit – and 14 Buckets managers post scores of 100+. And it’s all thanks to one player. If ever there was a week in which everybody was going to captain the same man it was this one. Only the ghostships and the league leader decided Mohamed Salah wasn’t up to the job. Brexiter drop to third as a result of their decision to take a punt on Firmino. However, had they gone with Salah, they’d still have lost their lead to The Vinegar Pissers, who have been threatening to take over the top spot for a number of weeks now. Who’d have thought this week would give up the highest gameweek score as well? The VPs only got eight players out, but it would have been a struggle to pick a worse eight. Only Callum Wilson offered up appearance points. Their three man defence contributed a clean sheet each, a goal, an assist and five bonus points. Mane and Milovejevic, playing alongside Salah, added a goal, two assists and two bonus points, and all of a sudden, Cenk Tosun needs to be taken seriously, scoring two to add to the other two he’s notched in his last two games. Four in three and he’s the striker in form.

The VPs have built up quite a lead as a result. Ordinarily you’re happy with an 80 point return, especially from a reduced gameweek, but Hornets are now conceding a 43 point lead to the new leaders. An honorable mention should go to FTM who achieved the second highest score of the weekend and did so by playing their free hit. The free hit chip was developed for gameweeks like this one. FTM finished four shy of The VPs. A bit more faith in Bournemouth or more investment in the Crystal Palace defence over the Everton defence would have seen them over the line. Yet, despite all their efforts, they only moved up two places in the league.

Player of the week – Mohamed Salah – 29 points

It’s the highest weekly score of the season. It’s, from memory, the second highest weekly score ever and the highest single gameweek score. It’s his 14th double figure haul of the season. There have only been seven weeks in the 31 in which he hasn’t either scored or assisted. It’s four goals, an assist and inevitably, all the bonus points. It’s Mohamed Salah, who now sits on 266 points from 30 of the 31 gameweeks. That’s an average of 8.86 points a game. At that rate he should surpass the 300 point mark and become the first player to do that. Luis Suarez’s record is 295 from the 2013/2014 season. Just leave the armband where it is.

Bargain of the week – James Tomkins – 15 points

In truth the other big scores of the weekend could have gone anywhere. Any one of the other teams could have kept a clean sheet or scored a hatful. Those who took a punt on Palace players would have ended up happy, particularly those opting for James Tomkins. He’s the safest route into that Palace defence at the moment – if you dare venture there. You couldn’t have asked for much more than a goal, clean sheet and all the bonus marks. Apart from maybe a second goal, which he as inches away from getting. Just don’t pick him next week.

Twat of the week – Charlie Adam – -2 points

I’m not sure he was gracing too many teams. In fact, he’s been dropping out of squads as opposed to being brought in ahead of this gameweek, which says a lot. Xherdan Shaqiri looked like the most optimistic Stoke choice, along with Jack Butland, who has been racking up the save points over the last few weeks. Shaqiri failed to deliver, but Butland’s 3 point return was the average keeper score. Watford and Huddersfield were the teams to completely ignore this week.

Goal of the week – Junior Stanislas.

1m20s in

 

Gameweek 29 results

1  same Hornets
Andrew Wade
52 1722
2  same Brexiter City
Colin Goulding
55 1705
3  up The Vinegar Pissers
P Hawkins
74 1696
4  down Gotta Light?
Andrew Swift
45 1683
5  down The Craggy Islanders
Adrian Roche
42 1675
6  up Nashton Villa
Jaime Nash
52 1668
7  down The winnings R mine
david bruce
41 1667
8  same Fun Lovren Criminals
Paul Callaghan
44 1652
9  up Game of Throw-Ins
Ryan Garoghan
60 1652
10  down Despicable Mee
Trevor Gordon
52 1651
11  up greenyteamy
adam greenwood
67 1646
12  down Edgbaston
Micheal Dinneen
50 1630
13  up FC Caligula
Ajay Supeda
72 1623
14  down INIT FC
Mustafa khan
60 1621
15  up Rip Roaring Reds
Sean Whyton
65 1620
16  down It’sOnlyAGameFarke!
David Spinks
63 1619
17  down Queen of the north
DORINE REACHER
58 1614
18  up Emergency Gap Jumper
Ian Williams
68 1601
19  down Kompany & Co
DEAN CRIPPS
42 1600
20  up Rico united
JASON REACHER
63 1596
21  down Golden Boys
Stephanie Cripps
56 1593
22  down We are Ayling
Paul Murray
53 1592
23  up Atlético Chappers
Richard Chapman
59 1581
24  down Shoelace Untied
Caroline Strong
54 1574
25  up Neil Madrid
Neil Strong
63 1573
26  up Aquamar 1564
Noel Driver
53 1562
27  same Kebab Eaters Utd
Paul Howard
52 1562
28  down Your Ad Here
Matthew Hopkins
46 1556
29  up Flying squad
Matt Jarvis
48 1548
30  same Klopp of the Pochs
Jason Earwicker
43 1544
31  down musttryharder FC
Paul Telford
35 1542
32  up Pretty Schitty City
Alex Michaluk
51 1540
33  down Crazylegs XI
David Caldicott
46 1537
34  same King Dunlap
Paul Bentz
50 1531
35  up Pure Buffoonery!
Jitesh Lakhani
43 1522
36  up blakes11
Steven Darling
55 1520
37  same To Elland Back
Alan Hardy
52 1519
38  down Upper Bullens
Andy Taylor
35 1516
39  up mrs mcgoo
laura barrett
73 1469
40  down cookster fc
Peter Cook
43 1456
41  up Pudding And Pie
John Seacroft
53 1449
42  up Bakerlona FC
Stuart Baker
54 1447
43  down FTM
Stu Smith
38 1439
44  same romeoshondavan
Rob Hewer
53 1435
45  same iamgroot
scott mcgow
58 1423
46  same Jarv88
Paul Jarvis
58 1419
47  same disco dancer
darren frankland
49 1392
48  same Real Jorvik
Simon Brown
64 1369
49  same Release The Hounds
Paul Mitchell
52 1347
50  same Biscuitmen
Chris Morton
50 1211

 

Buckets Cup quarter finals

Are we on for another double winner in their debut season, much like FC Caligula did in 2015/2016? Hornets are still fighting on both fronts. Their score was the lowest of the quarter final winners this week, but still above the game average and most importantly, enough to see off Fun Lovren Criminals. They will play first time semi finalists, Game of Throw Ins, whilst another last four debutant, Atletico Chappers, will take on Emergency Gap Jumper. Should be an interesting final in Gameweek 31.

Manager of the week – The Vinegar Pissers – Paul Hawkins – 74 points

Three scores crept above 70 points this week, the highest of which was the 74 posted by The Vinegar Pissers. They’re the latest team to launch an assault on the Hornets domination, climbing up into third just behind Brexiter, who themselves, narrowed the gap by three. As well as picking up on another player of the week performance by Heung-Min Son, the Pissers also garnered 15 points from both of Brighton’s goalscorers in their victory over Arsenal. Glen Murray has six in eight games and only Mo Salah and Sergio Aguero have scored more since the turn of the year.

Player of the week – Heung-Min Son – 16 points

His second player of the week total and with that becomes only the third player this season to achieve the highest weekly score on more than one occasion. He had been on a run of blank weeks since his last double figure score and had started dropping out of teams. No goals and assists, the return to the team of Erik Lamela and the purchase of Lucas Moura obviously putting doubt about his return potential. That’ll probably reverse now and He’ll no doubt be a popular choice once Spurs’s double gameweek(s) roll round.

Bargain of the week – Ki Sung-Yeung – 13 points

A South Korean double at the top of the weekly player tables this week. Ki has played nearly every game under Swansea’s new manager and has obviously played an important part in their revival. His last run in the team under the previous manager yielded no returns at all. This time round he has two goals, two assists and two double figure totals in the last four games. And for under £5 million. There’ll be Swansea double gameweeks too.

Twat of the week – Ashley Williams – -2 points

Sam Allardyce solved whatever problems there were at Everton for all of about two games. They’re surprisingly leaky, especially away from home, and three red cards, the latest of which was dished out to their captain for the day, is the most for any team in the top flight. Apart from those bruising bastards over at Watford of course.

Goal of the week – Nemanja Matic.

Last goal in the last minute of the last game.