1  up The Vinegar Pissers
P Hawkins
124 1868
2  same Hornets
Andrew Wade
80 1825
3  down Brexiter City
Colin Goulding
77 1817
4  same The Craggy Islanders
Adrian Roche
84 1804
5  same Despicable Mee
Trevor Gordon
89 1795
6  same Nashton Villa
Jaime Nash
93 1794
7  same Game of Throw-Ins
Ryan Garoghan
81 1781
8  up FC Caligula
Ajay Supeda
98 1781
9  up Edgbaston
Micheal Dinneen
104 1776
10  same Gotta Light?
Andrew Swift
72 1769
11  down The winnings R mine
david bruce
67 1765
12  up Rip Roaring Reds
Sean Whyton
112 1763
13  up Emergency Gap Jumper
Ian Williams
102 1756
14  same INIT FC
Mustafa khan
90 1754
15  down greenyteamy
adam greenwood
62 1749
16  down Queen of the north
DORINE REACHER
85 1743
17  down Fun Lovren Criminals
Paul Callaghan
46 1741
18  up Atlético Chappers
Richard Chapman
110 1736
19  up Rico united
JASON REACHER
102 1736
20  down It’sOnlyAGameFarke!
David Spinks
74 1729
21  down Golden Boys
Stephanie Cripps
68 1723
22  same We are Ayling
Paul Murray
90 1719
23  up Shoelace Untied
Caroline Strong
84 1700
24  up Neil Madrid
Neil Strong
95 1688
25  up Your Ad Here
Matthew Hopkins
100 1685
26  up Kebab Eaters Utd
Paul Howard
100 1679
27  down Aquamar 1564
Noel Driver
86 1677
28  up To Elland Back
Alan Hardy
112 1676
29  down Kompany & Co
DEAN CRIPPS
35 1673
30  down Flying squad
Matt Jarvis
83 1670
31  up Klopp of the Pochs
Jason Earwicker
102 1666
32  up Pure Buffoonery!
Jitesh Lakhani
83 1652
33  down musttryharder FC
Paul Telford
77 1647
34  down Crazylegs XI
David Caldicott
34 1643
35  down Pretty Schitty City
Alex Michaluk
43 1637
36  down King Dunlap
Paul Bentz
71 1636
37  up mrs mcgoo
laura barrett
104 1626
38  down blakes11
Steven Darling
54 1607
39  up FTM
Stu Smith
120 1604
40  down Upper Bullens
Andy Taylor
56 1563
41  up iamgroot
scott mcgow
102 1563
42  up romeoshondavan
Rob Hewer
88 1559
43  down Jarv88
Paul Jarvis
109 1556
44  down cookster fc
Peter Cook
36 1546
45  down Pudding And Pie
John Seacroft
51 1525
46  down Bakerlona FC
Stuart Baker
44 1514
47  same disco dancer
darren frankland
61 1477
48  same Real Jorvik
Simon Brown
29 1437
49  same Release The Hounds
Paul Mitchell
12 1401
50  same Biscuitmen
Chris Morton
23 1291

 

Buckets Cup Winners – Emegency Gap Jumper

This season’s Bucket Cup champions are Emergency Gap Jumper. They beat Game Of Throw Ins by 102 – 81. Congratulations to them. It’s their first prize money in their 10th Bucket Season. EGJ opted to wildcard, fielding a full XI, whereas GOTI chose not to and went with a seven man squad. The news EGJ won’t want to hear is that they could have beaten GOTI by not wildcarding and simply playing the six players they already had in their squad who were potentially going to play this gameweek. Salah, as captain, Pickford, Milivojevic, Firmino, Doucoure and Gomez would have amassed 85 points.

Manager of the week – The Vinegar Pissers – Paul Hawkins – 124 points

Last week we all put out full teams and some of us struggled to reach what was one of the lowest average scores of the season. This week we’ve four matches in a vastly reduced gameweek – meaning eight teams – seven of them being shit – and 14 Buckets managers post scores of 100+. And it’s all thanks to one player. If ever there was a week in which everybody was going to captain the same man it was this one. Only the ghostships and the league leader decided Mohamed Salah wasn’t up to the job. Brexiter drop to third as a result of their decision to take a punt on Firmino. However, had they gone with Salah, they’d still have lost their lead to The Vinegar Pissers, who have been threatening to take over the top spot for a number of weeks now. Who’d have thought this week would give up the highest gameweek score as well? The VPs only got eight players out, but it would have been a struggle to pick a worse eight. Only Callum Wilson offered up appearance points. Their three man defence contributed a clean sheet each, a goal, an assist and five bonus points. Mane and Milovejevic, playing alongside Salah, added a goal, two assists and two bonus points, and all of a sudden, Cenk Tosun needs to be taken seriously, scoring two to add to the other two he’s notched in his last two games. Four in three and he’s the striker in form.

The VPs have built up quite a lead as a result. Ordinarily you’re happy with an 80 point return, especially from a reduced gameweek, but Hornets are now conceding a 43 point lead to the new leaders. An honorable mention should go to FTM who achieved the second highest score of the weekend and did so by playing their free hit. The free hit chip was developed for gameweeks like this one. FTM finished four shy of The VPs. A bit more faith in Bournemouth or more investment in the Crystal Palace defence over the Everton defence would have seen them over the line. Yet, despite all their efforts, they only moved up two places in the league.

Player of the week – Mohamed Salah – 29 points

It’s the highest weekly score of the season. It’s, from memory, the second highest weekly score ever and the highest single gameweek score. It’s his 14th double figure haul of the season. There have only been seven weeks in the 31 in which he hasn’t either scored or assisted. It’s four goals, an assist and inevitably, all the bonus points. It’s Mohamed Salah, who now sits on 266 points from 30 of the 31 gameweeks. That’s an average of 8.86 points a game. At that rate he should surpass the 300 point mark and become the first player to do that. Luis Suarez’s record is 295 from the 2013/2014 season. Just leave the armband where it is.

Bargain of the week – James Tomkins – 15 points

In truth the other big scores of the weekend could have gone anywhere. Any one of the other teams could have kept a clean sheet or scored a hatful. Those who took a punt on Palace players would have ended up happy, particularly those opting for James Tomkins. He’s the safest route into that Palace defence at the moment – if you dare venture there. You couldn’t have asked for much more than a goal, clean sheet and all the bonus marks. Apart from maybe a second goal, which he as inches away from getting. Just don’t pick him next week.

Twat of the week – Charlie Adam – -2 points

I’m not sure he was gracing too many teams. In fact, he’s been dropping out of squads as opposed to being brought in ahead of this gameweek, which says a lot. Xherdan Shaqiri looked like the most optimistic Stoke choice, along with Jack Butland, who has been racking up the save points over the last few weeks. Shaqiri failed to deliver, but Butland’s 3 point return was the average keeper score. Watford and Huddersfield were the teams to completely ignore this week.

Goal of the week – Junior Stanislas.

1m20s in

 

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Gameweek 27 results

March 6, 2017

same Aquamar 15
Noel Driver
74 1531
up The Craggy Islanders
Adrian Roche
71 1509
up Hedgehog Corpse FC
Nick Smith
86 1508
down When Harry met Alli
Trevor Gordon
68 1504
same Biscuitmen
Chris Morton
76 1492
up Kebab Eaters Utd
Paul Howard
77 1462
up greenyteamy
adam greenwood
59 1455
down Uriah Rennie 2nd XI
Neil Greenwood
52 1449
up To Elland Back
Alan Hardy
80 1448
10  up Atlético Chappers
Richard Chapman
88 1448
11  down 4 Fuchs Ake
Jason Earwicker
62 1447
12  up RICO UNITED
JASON REACHER
79 1446
13  down Cooksters
Peter Cook
63 1445
14  same Rip Roaring Reds
Sean Whyton
74 1439
15  down Yeboah’s Right Foot
Paul Murray
35 1434
16  up Neil Madrid
Neil Strong
88 1426
17  up Edgbaston
Micheal Dinneen
77 1424
18  down FC Caligula
Ajay Supeda
69 1422
19  down INIT FC
Mustafa khan
75 1422
20  down Joey Bosa
Paul Bentz
66 1417
21  up Your Ad Here
Matthew Hopkins
73 1413
22  down Upper Bullens
Andy Taylor
62 1412
23  same Go Buffoons Go
Jitesh Lakhani
62 1395
24  up romeoshondavan
Rob Hewer
76 1380
25  up nO fucHs given
Paul Callaghan
71 1378
26  up 30:19
Darren Lavelle
66 1377
27  down RG XV
Ryan Garoghan
57 1372
28  up Jarvis FC
Matt Jarvis
72 1372
29  up Hucking Fell
P Hawkins
101 1365
30  down QUEEN OF THE NORTH
DORINE REACHER
45 1363
31  same Jeff Lamp’s Porsche
David Spinks
63 1361
32  down Golden Boys
Stephanie Cripps
56 1358
33  up Crazy Legs XI
David Caldicott
86 1347
34  down Release The Hounds
Paul Mitchell
64 1346
35  down Have a little dink
Ian Williams
82 1343
36  down Shoelace Untied
Caroline Strong
97 1341
37  same I am not Zlatan
Colin Goulding
77 1314
38  same FTM
Stu Smith
80 1296
39  same jetty city
scott mcgow
77 1292
40  same Ciderheads
Darren Pope
70 1278
41  same Bakerlona
Stuart Baker
68 1275
42  up Pudding And Pie
John Seacroft
77 1271
43  down Real Jorvik
Simon Brown
60 1255
44  same Pepe Le Blue
DEAN CRIPPS
75 1244
45  same Dj daz
darren frankland
62 1243
46  same Big White Chiefs
david frankland
51 1220
47  same Bermie Utd
Glen Davies
70 1213
48  same Pretty Schitty City
Alex Michaluk
55 1198
49  same bazza 28 united
laura barrett
62 1154
50  same Bish Bosh Goal
Simon Purnell
66 1129
51  same Racing Club Skegness
Andrew Swift
52 1105
52  up Jarv88
Paul Jarvis
65 1083
53  down DJ’s Trail Blazers
Danian Jones
27 1057

 

We’re getting to the business end of the season. A mad dash to make the most of Manchester City’s double gameweek was complimented by a flurry of triple captaining and bench boosting. The jury is out on whether it’s been worth it. First of all, sacrifices had to be made to accommodate the inclusion of Aguero, Sterling, Sane and company, and with next week in mind, it was Chelsea, Spurs, Manchester United and Arsenal’s big guns that took the hit. Be smug if you decided to see the back of Sanchez and/or Ibrahimovic. Wince a little if you decided to give Kane, Alli, Costa or Hazard the boot. In the case of the Chelsea and Spurs players, sticking instead of twisting would have been as beneficial.

Im sure most triple captainers would have been hopeful of surpassing the 100 point barrier. That’s what you want to happen. Of those that played the chip, all went with Sergio, who again, didn’t quite play up to his price tag. You’d have been mad to do so, but you’d have been better off triple captaining the Stoke defence. The fact that the highest weekly scorer didn’t play for either Manchester City or Stoke tells the same story. There were high scores out there – just not high enough. Our leading three teams – Aquamar, The Craggy Islanders and When Harry Met Alli all took the plunge. Hedgehog Corpse didn’t and ended up jumping into the top three thanks to no transfer hits and five double figure scorers, one of whom was Artur Boruc of all people.

One manager did sneak past 100. Hucking Fell were helped by the 27 points of a triple armbanded Aguero, but the double figure returns of Kane, Alli, Grant and Mane were probably more telling.

Shoelace Untied achieved the second highest score with 97 – a total which carried them through to the semi final of the cup. Shoelace were the most successful bench boosters of the week, earning double figure totals from Caballero and Pieters, as well as Aguero, Alli and Grant. They’ll play Jarvis FC in the semi finals, while Aquamar, who are still on for the league and cup double, will face Rico United.

 

Player of the week – Dusan Tadic – 16 points. Always has one good week a season – this was it.

Bargain of the week – Erik Pieters – 14 points. The bus was well and truly parked.

Donkey of the week – Andrew Surman – -2 points. Probably should have been Zlatan’s award.

Goal of the week – Harry Kane. Probably time to draft him in again.

Gameweek 27 preview

March 3, 2017

Man Utd v Bournemouth
Leicester v Hull
Stoke v Middlesbrough
Swansea v Burnley
Watford v Southampton
West Brom v Crystal Palace
Liverpool v Arsenal
Spurs v Everton
Sunderland v Man City
West Ham v Chelsea
Man City v Stoke

Brilliantly throwing all best laid plans for gameweek 28 into complete disarray – it’s our first double gameweek – featuring two games each for Manchester City and Stoke. Time for a rethink.

Does next week really matter? Realistically how many points are you going to score with only eight teams playing. If you’ve doubled or even trebled up on West Brom defenders and Everton attackers, one is probably going to cancel the other out.

This week has huge potential. City haven’t gone away. They’re away to Sunderland and at home to Stoke. That’s Sunderland, who are….Sunderland. And Stoke, who are, judging by last week’s performance against Spurs, already on the beach. Might this even result in two clean sheets. They might have the creakiest ever defence of any title challengers in the history of the Premier League, but they have managed to keep two clean sheets in their last three league outings.

I get the impression that those of us stung by Aguero’s indiscipline and inconsistency earlier in the season have completely washed their hands of him, no matter what. Well, might that attitude have to change? We don’t have to worry about Gabriel Jesus anymore. Aguero is it. And he has four goals in his last two games. City have ten goals in their last two games. They play Sunderland. As well as Aguero, both Raheem Sterling and Leroy Sane look to have cemented their positions either side of the attack with both coming in at under £8 million. Even Yaya Toure could be worth a punt. On penalties and a starter in all of the last ten league games.

Is it even time to roll out the triple captain? There may not be a better double gameweek fixture combination than this.

And we shouldn’t rule out some Stoke players, particularly defensively, considering they’ve got Middlesbrough in their first game. Triple captaining Phil Bardsley might be a step too far though.

It’s cup quarter final weekend. Check the page. There are some low lying teams left in. It could be your only chance of a prize. I like an underdog win.

Gameweek 8 preview

October 13, 2016

Chelsea v Leicester
Arsenal v Swansea
Bournemouth v  Hull
Man City v Everton
Stoke v Sunderland
West Brom v Spurs
Crystal Palace v West Ham
Middlesbrough v Watford
Southampton v Burnley
Liverpool v Man Utd

It appears most players have returned with a clean bill of health from their international travails, although there’s always a question mark over those flying further afield. Alexis Sanchez and Philippe Coutinho were rested on their return from South America last time and I guess it could happen again. Some teams can afford the luxury of dropping key players with plenty in reserve. That might be a particular annoyance to Sanchez owners with a home tie against Swansea this weekend and the potential for him to fill his boots. Serio Aguero was mid-suspension during the last international break. It’ll be interesting to see how Guardiola approaches the situation. And he did allegedly pick up an injury in Argentina’s first match against Peru, yet still played in their second against Paraguay. Kelechi Iheanacho looks more than a capable stand in these days, although he has been to Zambia and back himself in the last week.

The more serious injury concerns happened within the England squad. Raheem Sterling and Adam Lallana are the in form English players of the moment. Neither played either international. Lallana was injured in Liverpool’s last game and Sterling pulled out of the squad. If you believe internet reports, it doesn’t look promising for either player, although Lallana does have a few extra days to prove his fitness. Tom Heaton was also withdrawn after the first qualifier. The competitions leading keeper picked up a ‘minor’ calf injury and is listed as 75% fit. God knows what that really means.

Stoke’s luck could be about to change. Despite the worst goal difference in the league, having scored the least and with only West Ham conceding more, their run of fixtures into December all look eminently winnable. They play seven consecutive games against teams in the bottom half of the table, starting at home against Sunderland this weekend. They’ve yet to keep a clean sheet, but crucially have stopped shipping threes and fours. Shay Given bore the brunt of their worst performances and was replaced by Lee Grant, who in the last two games has accumulated 7 points. He’s another £4 million reserve keeper with almost guaranteed game time. That is until Jack Butland returns – and that appears to be some time in mid November. He keeps a Premier League clean sheet one in every three games. Stoke could be mid table by Christmas.

Gameweek 5 results

September 19, 2016

same When Harry met Alli
Trevor Gordon
56 305
up nO fucHs given
Paul Callaghan
76 295
up Aquamar 15
Noel Driver
65 291
up Uriah Rennie 2nd XI
Neil Greenwood
60 286
up Neil Madrid
Neil Strong
60 284
down Release The Hounds
Paul Mitchell
44 282
up Go Buffoons Go
Jitesh Lakhani
74 280
up Kebab Eaters Utd
Paul Howard
71 280
down To Elland Back
Alan Hardy
46 278
10  up 30:19
Darren Lavelle
66 276
11  down 4 Fuchs Ake
Jason Earwicker
52 275
12  down The Craggy Islanders
Adrian Roche
42 271
13  up Ciderheads
Darren Pope
66 269
14  up FC Caligula
Ajay Supeda
66 267
15  up Rip Roaring Reds
Sean Whyton
70 265
16  down Edgbaston
Micheal Dinneen
42 258
17  down Jeff Lamp’s Porsche
David Spinks
46 256
17  up QUEEN OF THE NORTH
DORINE REACHER
52 256
19  down FTM
Stu Smith
50 256
20  up Crazy Legs XI
David Caldicott
64 253
21  down Golden Boys
Stephanie Cripps
44 252
22  up Jarvis FC
Matt Jarvis
59 249
22  up RG XV
Ryan Garoghan
57 249
24  up Upper Bullens
Andy Taylor
79 248
24  down Real Jorvik
Simon Brown
44 248
26  down Joey Bosa
Paul Bentz
28 245
27  down Biscuitmen
Chris Morton
41 245
28  up RICO UNITED
JASON REACHER
72 244
29  up romeoshondavan
Rob Hewer
70 242
30  down Hedgehog Corpse FC
Nick Smith
54 240
31  up Hucking Fell
P Hawkins
57 239
32  up Yeboah’s Right Foot
Paul Murray
53 236
33  down INIT FC
Mustafa khan
51 235
34  up Bermie Utd
Glen Davies
53 234
35  down Bakerlona
Stuart Baker
51 234
36  down Bish Bosh Goal
Simon Purnell
47 232
37  down Your Ad Here
Matthew Hopkins
44 230
38  same Atlético Chappers
Richard Chapman
50 230
39  down Cooksters
Peter Cook
30 229
40  down greenyteamy
adam greenwood
44 225
41  up Have a little dink
Ian Williams
61 219
42  up Pretty Schitty City
Alex Michaluk
51 217
43  up bazza 28 united
laura barrett
56 213
44  down Racing Club Skegness
Andrew Swift
25 210
45  down DJ’s Trail Blazers
Danian Jones
27 206
46  same Shoelace Untied
Caroline Strong
47 203
47  up Big White Chiefs
david frankland
62 203
48  same I am not Zlatan
Colin Goulding
53 201
49  up jetty city
scott mcgow
61 194
50  down Dj daz
darren frankland
41 188
51  down Jarv88
Paul Jarvis
45 187
52  same Pepe Le Blue
DEAN CRIPPS
40 176
53  same Pudding And Pie
John Seacroft
51 168

 

Only seven of our 53 managers finished the weekend with a total higher than 70, which is low I think, considering that it was our highest scoring gameweek of the season so far with seven teams bagging three goals or more. I don’t suppose too many of us expected Manchester United to concede three against Watford, although we now have to accept that Etienne Capoue is going to score every week. Neither did we predict that Nacer Chadli would top score – scoring two and assisting another of the four that West Brom thumped past West Ham. Leicester finally came good, but it was new signing Islam Slimani who stole the show ahead of Vardy and Mahrez. And what’s happened to Stoke? Conceding four again – and to Crystal Palace?! Who’d only previously scored three in the first four games.

What we did expect was another dominant Manchester City display. Almost everybody had some blue half of Manchester influence somewhere in their team. Kevin De Bruyne was a popular captain choice earning 28 points for those that gave him the armband. Both he and Raheem Sterling assisted and scored one each. De Bruyne pipped Sterling to the three bonus marks. Sterling as captain would have earned you 26 points. Go Buffoons Go had both in their team and posted a healthy 74 points with 41 of those contributed by the City pairing. Another 12 of their points came courtesy of Romelu Lukaku – another popular captain choice following his 11 minute hat trick last weekend.

A dip into this resurgent Everton squad was common among the Buckets teams that managed 70+. Most aptly, Upper Bullens, who jumped 18 places in the league with a highest weekly score of 79 points. Lukaku, Bolasie and Baines added 19 of those – although Spurs contributed the most to the Bullens total – 26 in all, which included 18 from Harry Kane as their captain.

 

Player of the week – Nacer Chadli – 21 points. West Brom’s new (only?) main man.

Bargain of the week – Juan Zuniga – 12 points. In 9 minutes. Well done.

Donkey of the week – Jake Livermore – -2 points. Unlucky – should be rescinded

Goal of the week – Jordan Henderson.

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