Gameweek 38 and May Manager of the Month

1  same The Craggy Islanders
Adrian Roche
64 2448
2  same But Da Pitch Ain’t 1
Trev Reams
63 2406
3  same Perfidious Albion
Andrew Swift
55 2381
4  same Neil Madrid
Neil Strong
62 2344
5  same Bielsa Ringing
Alan Hardy
63 2323
6  same FC Caligula
Ajay Supeda
58 2314
7  same INIT FC
Mustafa khan
71 2269
8  same Shoelace Untied
Caroline Strong
69 2259
9  up Game of Stones
Ryan Garoghan
70 2219
10  down Rip Roaring Reds
Sean Whyton
40 2218
11  down Edgbaston
Micheal Dinneen
59 2216
12  same FTM
Stu Smith
67 2190
13  same Aribo Haribo
Paul Hawkins
56 2171
14  up Pretty Schitty City
Alex Michaluk
78 2163
15  down Nashton Villa
Jaime Nash
51 2150
16  down Upper Bullens
Andy Taylor
49 2144
17  up King raggg
Steven Darling
68 2144
18  down Frostee Rucker
Paul Bentz
53 2137
19  same Kebab Eaters Utd
Paul Howard
59 2122
20  same Salah Buffoon!!!
Jitesh Lakhani
51 2113
21  same Deeney in a Bottle
Stephanie Cripps
49 2104
22  up Cookie fc
Peter Cook
45 2091
23  down Mour Salt and Pep
Noel Driver
36 2086
24  up Crazy Leg XI
David Caldicott
68 2080
25  up RICO UNITED
JASON REACHER
73 2068
26  up Fake Madrid
Andrew Wade
72 2067
27  up SLABHEAD FC
Adam Burnett
80 2063
28  down Dinamo Spinks
David Spinks
39 2060
29  down Musttryharder fc
Paul Telford
44 2047
30  down Need son luck
Matt Jarvis
48 2042
31  up Kompany & Co
DEAN CRIPPS
63 2037
32  down PenshawPerformers
david bruce
39 2031
33  up The Big Lewandowski
Paul Callaghan
77 2025
34  same Real Jorvik
Simon Brown
68 2013
35  up Dropit like its Hart
Jason Earwicker
65 1999
36  up Hemel Hotspurs
Paul Jarvis
67 1999
37  up Atlético Chappers
Richard Chapman
93 1998
38  down Your Ad Here
Matthew Hopkins
31 1995
39  same Puddle Splash Van
Ian Williams
88 1995
40  up QUEEN OF THE NORTH
DORINE REACHER
76 1978
41  down Greeeenteeam
adam greenwood
53 1964
42  same El Loco No Joko
Paul Murray
61 1962
43  same It’s coming home
scott mcgow
68 1961
44  same Pique Blinders
Colin Goulding
60 1934
45  same Hoose Reus
James Whitfield
52 1924
46  same Morningblues
Jeff Morning
58 1901
47  same romeoshondavan
Rob Hewer
55 1876
48  same ClipityKlopptotitle
tanya thursby
66 1871
49  same The Mindless Morons
John Seacroft
56 1796
50  same Ross’s champions
darren frankland
60 1714

 

May Manager of the Month – Queen of the North – Dorine Reacher – 76 points

The two week sprint to become May manager of the month was won by Queen of the North. Despite racking up some big totals over the season and winning three weekly awards (the joint highest), consistency was lacking. They won by a point, playing their free hit and bench boost in the last two weeks. A curious decision which only just worked.

Manager of the week – Atletico Chappers – Richard Chapman – 93 points

Chappers’ season panned out in a similar fashion to QOTN’s. Occasional mega totals were lost in among a sea of guff. This is also their third weekly triumph. They challenged for the highest weekly score prize with a 121 point total in GW35 and won the February manager of the month off the back of an 86 point haul in GW27 – the 1,226th best score in the world that week. Chappers regularly jumped a million in rank one week only to plummet back to where they started the next.

Player of the week – Nathaniel Mendez-Laing – Cardiff City – 16 points

Only 3,002 players benefited from Mendez-Laing’s weekly high in the entire game. He claims Cardiff’s fourth weekly player accolade, two more than the “team” they beat this week, Manchester United. In fact, United only managed two player awards, joint equal lowest with Fulham and Huddersfield. Cardiff went down on a deserved high given the tragedy that beset them earlier in the season.

Bargain of the week – Fabian Schar – Newcastle United – 15 points

Schar’s third player award – one more than Manchester United. An impressive return for a cut price Newcastle defender who only played two thirds of the season’s games. Newcastle were on the right side of a typical GW38 thumping with the Swiss scoring, keeping a clean sheet and collecting top bonus.

Twat of the week – Jose Holebas – Watford – -4 points

Picked up the first twat of last season and the last of this – plus a few more in between I think. This list isn’t complete without an appearance from Jose. Well done son. You made it.

Goal of the week – Jefferson Lerma. Screamer 1m48s.

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Gameweek 1 results

1  new Perfidious Albion
Andrew Swift
102 102
2  new But Da Pitch Ain’t 1
Trev Reams
93 93
3  new Game of Stones
Ryan Garoghan
92 92
4  new RICO UNITED
JASON REACHER
91 91
5  new FC Caligula
Ajay Supeda
89 89
6  new The Craggy Islanders
Adrian Roche
84 84
6  new King raggg
Steven Darling
84 84
8  new QUEEN OF THE NORTH
DORINE REACHER
82 82
9  new Neil Madrid
Neil Strong
81 81
10  new CAS Vampire Slayers
Mustafa khan
77 77
10  new Crazy Leg XI
David Caldicott
77 77
12  new The Big Lewandowski
Paul Callaghan
74 74
12  new Edgbaston
Micheal Dinneen
74 74
14  new Frostee Rucker
Paul Bentz
73 73
15  new Deeney in a Bottle
Stephanie Cripps
72 72
16  new ClipityKlopptotitle
tanya thursby
71 71
17  new DoubleDee
Noel Driver
70 70
18  new Your Ad Here
Matthew Hopkins
69 69
19  new Aribo Haribo
Paul Hawkins
68 68
20  new Hoose Reus
James Whitfield
67 67
21  new PenshawPerformers
david bruce
65 65
22  new Upper Bullens
Andy Taylor
64 64
22  new romeoshondavan
Rob Hewer
64 64
24  new Kebab Eaters Utd
Paul Howard
63 63
25  new Thelma and Luiz
Trevor Gordon
61 61
25  new Bielsa Ringing
Alan Hardy
61 61
27  new Dropit like its Hart
Jason Earwicker
58 58
28  new Dinamo Spinks
David Spinks
57 57
28  new Need son luck
Matt Jarvis
57 57
30  new Musttryharder fc
Paul Telford
56 56
31  new Shoelace Untied
Caroline Strong
54 54
32  new Cookie fc
Peter Cook
53 53
32  new SLABHEAD FC
Adam Burnett
53 53
34  new Hemel Hotspurs
Paul Jarvis
52 52
34  new Fake Madrid
Andrew Wade
52 52
34  new Pretty Schitty City
Alex Michaluk
52 52
34  new Rip Roaring Reds
Sean Whyton
52 52
38  new Nashton Villa
Jaime Nash
51 51
39  new Kompany & Co
DEAN CRIPPS
49 49
40  new Bakerlona
Stuart Baker
48 48
40  new El Loco No Joko
Paul Murray
48 48
42  new Real Jorvik
Simon Brown
47 47
43  new Atlético Chappers
Richard Chapman
46 46
43  new Puddle Splash Van
Ian Williams
46 46
45  new It’s coming home
scott mcgow
45 45
46  new Salah Buffoon!!!
Jitesh Lakhani
43 43
46  new FTM
Stu Smith
43 43
46  new Pique Blinders
Colin Goulding
43 43
49  new The Mindless Morons
John Seacroft
42 42
50  new Morningblues
Jeff Morning
37 37
51  new Ross’s champions
darren frankland
32 32
52  new Greeeenteeam
adam greenwood
27 27

 

Manager of the week – Perfidious Albion – Andrew Swift – 102 points

An early contender for the highest weekly score prize. Don’t be surprised if Perfidious Albion are still sat at the top of that particular pile come double gameweek season. The worldwide average was 53 points – a total that over half of our managers achieved. Perfidious’ masterstroke was avoiding Mo Salah (or not being able to afford Mo Salah) and sticking the armband on Sadio Mane instead. They also bagged 33 points from three defenders and were one of the only managers to pick Aaron Wan Bissaka instead of benching him. Seven of the top ten could have been 12 points better off if they’d promoted the young Palace defender. Perfidious themselves, however, could have been 14 points better off had they plumped for Benjamin Mendy over Harry Kane. Strikers were a real let down this week. The highest scoring was Callum Wilson with 8 points. No striker made double figures. Contrast that with 8 double figure scoring defenders and 6 in the midfield.

An honorable mention to our highest scoring newcomer, But Da Pitch Ain’t 1, who sit in second with 93 points. They tripled up on Liverpool and Manchester City, captaining Salah, and having the same Wan Bissaka foresight as Perfidious.

Player of the week – Roberto Pereyra – Watford – 16 points

Bargain of the week – Jose Holebas – Watford 13 points

Aside Mane’s 16 points for his brace against West Ham, Watford’s Roberto Pereyra returned the same total with the same stats. He was assisted for both goals by Jose Holebas. There’ll no doubt be a few early kneejerk reactions to their performances. They’re as good a bet as anyone at their price point and their next two fixtures offer some points potential. It gets a bit tougher for them from week 4 onward though.

Twat of the week – Phil Jagielka – Everton – -3 points

Phil Jagielka’s season may only last 39 minutes. Expect new signing Yerry Mina to make his bow next week and Jagielka to warm the bench from now on.

Goal of the week – Ruben Neves

He’s £5 million. For now.

 

Season review

1  same The Vinegar Pissers
P Hawkins
84 2289
2  same Nashton Villa
Jaime Nash
65 2253
3  same Edgbaston
Micheal Dinneen
67 2251
4  same Despicable Mee
Trevor Gordon
67 2250
5  same FC Caligula
Ajay Supeda
86 2245
6  same The Craggy Islanders
Adrian Roche
65 2216
7  same Hornets
Andrew Wade
76 2215
8  up INIT FC
Mustafa khan
74 2193
9  down Brexiter City
Colin Goulding
52 2184
10  up It’sOnlyAGameFarke!
David Spinks
66 2156
11  up Rico united
JASON REACHER
71 2155
12  up The winnings R mine
david bruce
71 2148
13  down greenyteamy
adam greenwood
51 2139
14  down Fun Lovren Criminals
Paul Callaghan
34 2134
15  up Game of Throw-Ins
Ryan Garoghan
73 2133
16  same Queen of the north
DORINE REACHER
55 2125
17  down Emergency Gap Jumper
Ian Williams
54 2125
18  same Kebab Eaters Utd
Paul Howard
60 2108
19  same Pure Buffoonery!
Jitesh Lakhani
54 2103
20  up We are Ayling
Paul Murray
68 2095
21  up Your Ad Here
Matthew Hopkins
88 2094
22  up Gotta Light?
Andrew Swift
66 2089
23  down Shoelace Untied
Caroline Strong
53 2089
24  down Klopp of the Pochs
Jason Earwicker
58 2082
25  down Rip Roaring Reds
Sean Whyton
48 2078
26  down Atlético Chappers
Richard Chapman
55 2073
27  up Flying squad
Matt Jarvis
87 2072
28  up Pretty Schitty City
Alex Michaluk
85 2065
29  down To Elland Back
Alan Hardy
69 2061
30  up Neil Madrid
Neil Strong
84 2061
31  down Golden Boys
Stephanie Cripps
55 2052
32  up King Dunlap
Paul Bentz
80 2050
33  same mrs mcgoo
laura barrett
70 2048
34  down Aquamar 1564
Noel Driver
43 2035
35  same Crazylegs XI
David Caldicott
57 2021
36  same blakes11
Steven Darling
54 1998
37  same musttryharder FC
Paul Telford
52 1995
38  same Kompany & Co
DEAN CRIPPS
58 1983
39  same FTM
Stu Smith
55 1980
40  up Jarv88
Paul Jarvis
85 1918
41  down iamgroot
scott mcgow
56 1903
42  up romeoshondavan
Rob Hewer
66 1898
43  up Upper Bullens
Andy Taylor
69 1896
44  down cookster fc
Peter Cook
50 1895
45  same disco dancer
darren frankland
61 1879
46  same Pudding And Pie
John Seacroft
52 1848
47  same Bakerlona FC
Stuart Baker
59 1829
48  same Release The Hounds
Paul Mitchell
50 1799
49  same Real Jorvik
Simon Brown
50 1752
50  same Biscuitmen
Chris Morton
71 1653

 

Winners – The Vinegar Pissers 

The third manager to pick up their second title scoring the second highest finishing total. The Vinegar Pissers only spent six weeks outside of our top 10, first taking root in GW5. They did drop to the depths of 11th and 12th, before permanently floating around 6th until gameweek 29, when a manager of the week performance saw them rise to third. Then GW31 – only four games – but a Mohamed Salah masterclass and everybody’s posting 100+ totals and challenging for the highest weekly score prize. The VP’s kicked arse with 124 points from eight players, 58 of which came from Salah. That put them at the top of the league and that’s where they stayed – and in truth, no-one really got that close to them. Congratulations to the Pissers. They got as high as 8,202nd in the world, never took more than a four point hit, played their triple captain and bench boost in the run in and utilised their free hit well, picking up a good score with it and a green arrow just before Christmas. Interestingly, they played their wildcards at almost the earliest possibly opportunity on both occasions. Proving that there is still no logic to this game and it’s all complete luck.

Runners up – Nashton Villa, Edgbaston and Despicable Mee 

Our Champions League qualifiers all had similar seasons, making their surge into the top ten and then the top four at around the same time. It was during March that they all lost ground on the VPs and were left desperately trying to claw back the points lost during gameweeks 29 and 31 – the two weeks that definitely won the VP’s that manager of the month, and arguably won them the league. It was a superb debut season for Nashton who reached their highest worldwide position after GW37, but were unable to continue the rise and challenge for the top spot. They would have had to surpass the 100 point mark in GW38 to knock our champions off their perch.

Edgbaston have finally crept into our top four after two consecutive 5th place finishes, despite finishing lower in the world rankings than in both of their last two attempts. And fourth placed Despicable Mee are regressing. Two consecutive runners up placings and now fourth place. Once always the bridesmaid – now a distant uncle only invited because they had a space to fill. In all seriousness – if one of these two doesn’t win this title soon, I’d be very surprised.

The rest

There were valiant efforts by two former champs who just ran out of steam at the last knockings – FC Caligula and The Craggy Islanders finished 5th and 6th respectively. We’re sure to see them in the running next season. Hornets, a total rookie FPL debutant, who were top every week bar three between gameweeks 2 and 29, finished in a respectable 7th. By gameweek 16 they had climbed to 1,663rd in the world, as high (possibly) as any Buckets manager has been, but they peaked too early. Better understanding of the chips and when to play them might serve them better next season. The rest of us – probably got stung by Harry Kane once too often, and only realised when it was too late that they should have had Mo Salah as captain EVERY WEEK.

The awards

We had more managers of the week scoring 100+ scores than in any previous season. The Vinegar Pissers’ 124 point score was the second highest weekly winning score, but falls way behind their own record set in the 2013-2014 season when they managed 165 points in a week in which virtually everybody passed the 100 point barrier following a mammoth double gameweek. That same season produced the highest winning finishing score in our league of 2356 points. Despite there being more 100+ weekly winners in this season, The VPs finished 67 points behind that total. It’s worth noting that the 124 points scored in GW31 was done so from only four games. Another thirteen of our fifty teams passed the century mark that week. And most of them were only fielding bit part teams.

We had ten different managers of the month, six managers taking two weekly accolades, but only one, The bloody Vinegar Pissers, managing three highest weekly scores. Shoelace Untied took the December prize, accumulating 477 points for the month – the highest ever monthly total.

The players

We may have fallen just short of breaking our manager records this season, but the reason we got so close was largely due to one player – Mohamed Salah. He became the first player to pass 300 points for the season. No-one else came close – which may explain why we didn’t quite eclipse the higher scores from four years ago. Back then, in the ‘Suarez’ season, there was a great supporting cast, with the likes of Daniel Sturridge, Steven Gerrard, Raheem Sterling, Robin Van Persie, Yaya Toure and Eden Hazard all scoring big, playing consistently and featuring in a lot of teams. This season only Harry Kane, Sterling and Kevin De Bruyne passed the 200 point mark. Despite Kane running Salah (fairly) close in the golden boot chase, he was still close to 100 points behind. Which says more about the frustrating, annoying, inconsistent, trolling season the Spurs striker had. Nowt for weeks then just when you get sick of it all three frickin’ hat tricks…or whatever it was. Dickhead. Still – he’ll be in from the start next season.

Kane picked up more player of the week awards (three) than anyone else. Salah, who only scored more than anyone else once throughout the whole season, was much more consistent. A goal every week rather than three and a gap. And lets mention GW31 again – 29 points – the highest ever single match gameweek score. Sergio Aguero, Heung-Min Son and Marko Arnautovic were the only other players to get two player of the week awards. Tottenham won the award six times ahead of Chelsea with five, and then perhaps surprisingly, Manchester City, with only four winners. Ayoze Perez, Federico Fernandez and Callum Wilson showed up on the bargain list more than once and Newcastle appeared to be the best go-to cheapo team, winning the award five times over the course of the season. Watford were king of the twats offering up six ‘worst of the week’, with Jose Holebas winning the award twice. Jack Stephens also won it twice – and in consecutive weeks, so well done to him. Manchester City did dominate the goal of the week contenders with eight wins, but anyone who tells you that Jamie Vardy’s over the shoulder volley against West Brom in GW30 isn’t the goal of the season, is some kind of goon.

Debatable team of the season

  • GK – David De Gea – 172 points

No arguments here, although Lorus Karius did pick up more points per match of all keepers playing more than 10 games. Karius and Mignolet played half a season each – 19 games a piece. Mignolet scored on average 1.1 points per game less and kept three less clean sheets – although still 7 out of 19 which is pretty respectable.

  • DR – Cesar Azpilicueta – 175 points
  • DL – Marcos Alonso – 165 points
  • DC – Nicolas Otamendi – 156 points
  • DC – Jan Vertonghen – 138 points

Antonio Valencia, Ben Davies and Kyle Walker all scored more than Vertonghen, but none are central defenders. In the favoured three at the back, you’d probably have to drop Alonso. He hasn’t scored enough to warrant his usual left wing back position ahead of the highest scoring midfielders either…coming up next. Andrew Robertson missed 16 games and Phil Jones missed 15 games, but both beat all of the above, other than Alonso, in points per game. Jones managed 15 clean sheets in his 23 games. Basically – if he didn’t play – United usually conceded.

  • DM – Luca Milivojevic – 144 points
  • CM – Kevin De Bruyne – 209 points
  • AM – Mohamed Salah – 303 points
  • AM – Raheem Sterling – 229 points
  • AM – Christian Eriksen – 199 points

Obviously, this is where it all gets a bit ‘debatable’. No real team is complete without some kind of defensive holding player, so when you see the PFA team of the year, and it’s basically a goalkeeper and 10 attackers, you do wonder if they ever really watch the game. But then if you were going to stick a defensive midfielder in there, you wouldn’t necessarily be basing their inclusion on their fantasy points total, seeing as how nothing they do is ever taken into consideration when the scores are totted up. You’d just pick N’Golo Kante and move on wouldn’t you? Milivojevic is definitely worth a mention though. Arguably the most reliable penalty taker in the league, double figures for goals and in the top 10 for bonuses.

  • CF – Harry Kane – 217 points

His best goalscoring season but not his his best fantasy season. Too many braces and hat tricks, if their can be such a thing, and not enough consistency. Kane would go missing for weeks, but then burst back into life racking up the highest bonus score too. It was all about catching him on a good day. He blanked in 19 gameweeks – half a season. Salah failed to score anything other than appearance points in only 10 games. Aguero, and latterly, Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang, finished the season with more points per match. There’s your front three for August.

 

 

Player awards

Gameweek 9 results

1  same Hornets
Andrew Wade
78 576
2  up Kompany & Co
DEAN CRIPPS
78 543
3  down The Vinegar Pissers
P Hawkins
56 534
4  down Fun Lovren Criminals
Paul Callaghan
56 531
5  same Rip Roaring Reds
Sean Whyton
54 527
6  up Gotta Light?
Andrew Swift
66 524
7  up The Craggy Islanders
Adrian Roche
78 519
8  down The winnings R mine
david bruce
50 513
9  down INIT FC
Mustafa khan
59 512
10  up Jarv88
Paul Jarvis
70 504
11  down It’sOnlyAGameFarke!
David Spinks
52 503
12  down Crazylegs XI
David Caldicott
57 502
13  up King Dunlap
Paul Bentz
59 499
14  down Neil Madrid
Neil Strong
43 495
15  up Despicable Mee
Trevor Gordon
60 493
16  up Brexiter City
Colin Goulding
56 492
17  up Bakerlona FC
Stuart Baker
62 487
18  down Edgbaston
Micheal Dinneen
45 486
19  up Klopp of the Pochs
Jason Earwicker
55 485
20  up Queen of the north
DORINE REACHER
64 482
21  down Flying squad
Matt Jarvis
55 480
22  down Golden Boys
Stephanie Cripps
47 479
23  up Game of Throw-Ins
Ryan Garoghan
83 477
24  same musttryharder FC
Paul Telford
55 475
25  down FTM
Stu Smith
47 470
26  same Kebab Eaters Utd
Paul Howard
49 467
27  up Real Jorvik
Simon Brown
68 465
28  down Aquamar 1564
Noel Driver
48 463
29  same Upper Bullens
Andy Taylor
58 462
30  down Rico united
JASON REACHER
54 458
31  up To Elland Back
Alan Hardy
73 456
32  down FC Caligula
Ajay Supeda
53 451
33  up romeoshondavan
Rob Hewer
57 447
34  down greenyteamy
adam greenwood
41 447
35  down Nashton Villa
Jaime Nash
43 447
36  up Pure Buffoonery!
Jitesh Lakhani
64 444
37  down We are Ayling
Paul Murray
45 439
38  down Atlético Chappers
Richard Chapman
47 439
39  same Your Ad Here
Matthew Hopkins
55 435
40  up cookster fc
Peter Cook
56 430
41  up disco dancer
darren frankland
71 429
42  down Release The Hounds
Paul Mitchell
39 428
43  up Shoelace Untied
Caroline Strong
61 423
44  down Pretty Schitty City
Alex Michaluk
51 422
45  up Pudding And Pie
John Seacroft
73 416
46  down mrs mcgoo
laura barrett
44 405
47  same Emergency Gap Jumper
Ian Williams
45 391
48  down blakes11
Steven Darling
48 386
49  same iamgroot
scott mcgow
49 382
50  same Biscuitmen
Chris Morton
40 326

 

Manager of the week – Game of Throw-Ins – Ryan Garoghan – 83 points

There’s still no catching Hornets no matter how hard the chasing pack try. Harry Kane was back in town and in as captain in most of the scores topping 60 points this week. Hornets posted the joint second highest score along with their new nearest challengers, Kompany & Co. Game of Throw-ins also picked Kane as captain and were one of the few with Nicolas Otamendi in their back line – the two top scoring players of the weekend.

Player of the week – Harry Kane – 16 points

He’ll have a week off next week. When I make him captain. He appears to be scoring in twos at the moment, and stats suggest he’s having having two more shots at goal per game than any of his rivals for the golden boot. A hat trick will probably come sooner rather than later. Is it worth just keeping him as captain and putting up with the lame weeks knowing he’ll more than make up for it in the next game?

Bargain of the week – Glenn Murray – 13 points

There are quite a few low priced strikers offering good returns at the moment. Could Glenn Murray add himself to that list? It looks like he might have forced himself to the front of the queue of the Brighton strikers and his team look like they’re finding their feet.

Twat of the week – Jose Holebas – -1 points

A two time twat. And both within 5 gameweeks. That, I think, is some kind of record. We’ve never had a three time twat in a season. He’s got plenty of time and unnecessary attitude to achieve that feat.

Goal of the week – Alexis Sanchez. At 5m45s.

 

Gameweek 5 results 

Manager of the week – Golden Boys – Stephanie Cripps – 92 points

A massive week for the Cripps family as both representative teams broke the 90 point barrier. Our first teams to do so this season. Golden Boys are the team of the week, captaining Aguero (of course), complimented by a full house of clean sheets. Kompany and Co’s 90 point haul included a 57 point contribution from Manchester City players.

Player of the week – Sergio Aguero – 20 points.
I’m not sure if Sergio picked up a 20 point score last season. He was more likely to be sent off than get a hat trick. And that warned a lot of people off him. As well As the widely held thought that Pep preferred Gabriel Jesus. Well, both are starting and both are scoring. And assisting. Each other. Uh oh!

Bargain of the week – Lukasz Fabianski – 11 points

A hard fought 0-0 for Swansea. Which was totally unexpected given that roughly a third of FPL players put the armband on Harry Kane. Kane out.

Twat of the week – Jose Holebas – -2 points

The more Watford’s bright start to the season crumbled over the course of their game with City, the more lumps Holebas felt obliged to kick out of the City attackers.

Goal of the week – Sergio Aguero (3rd goal)

Honourable mention for Antonio Valencia, but this was Maradona-esque