Gameweek 31 results and Buckets Cup Final

1  up The Vinegar Pissers
P Hawkins
124 1868
2  same Hornets
Andrew Wade
80 1825
3  down Brexiter City
Colin Goulding
77 1817
4  same The Craggy Islanders
Adrian Roche
84 1804
5  same Despicable Mee
Trevor Gordon
89 1795
6  same Nashton Villa
Jaime Nash
93 1794
7  same Game of Throw-Ins
Ryan Garoghan
81 1781
8  up FC Caligula
Ajay Supeda
98 1781
9  up Edgbaston
Micheal Dinneen
104 1776
10  same Gotta Light?
Andrew Swift
72 1769
11  down The winnings R mine
david bruce
67 1765
12  up Rip Roaring Reds
Sean Whyton
112 1763
13  up Emergency Gap Jumper
Ian Williams
102 1756
14  same INIT FC
Mustafa khan
90 1754
15  down greenyteamy
adam greenwood
62 1749
16  down Queen of the north
85 1743
17  down Fun Lovren Criminals
Paul Callaghan
46 1741
18  up Atlético Chappers
Richard Chapman
110 1736
19  up Rico united
102 1736
20  down It’sOnlyAGameFarke!
David Spinks
74 1729
21  down Golden Boys
Stephanie Cripps
68 1723
22  same We are Ayling
Paul Murray
90 1719
23  up Shoelace Untied
Caroline Strong
84 1700
24  up Neil Madrid
Neil Strong
95 1688
25  up Your Ad Here
Matthew Hopkins
100 1685
26  up Kebab Eaters Utd
Paul Howard
100 1679
27  down Aquamar 1564
Noel Driver
86 1677
28  up To Elland Back
Alan Hardy
112 1676
29  down Kompany & Co
35 1673
30  down Flying squad
Matt Jarvis
83 1670
31  up Klopp of the Pochs
Jason Earwicker
102 1666
32  up Pure Buffoonery!
Jitesh Lakhani
83 1652
33  down musttryharder FC
Paul Telford
77 1647
34  down Crazylegs XI
David Caldicott
34 1643
35  down Pretty Schitty City
Alex Michaluk
43 1637
36  down King Dunlap
Paul Bentz
71 1636
37  up mrs mcgoo
laura barrett
104 1626
38  down blakes11
Steven Darling
54 1607
39  up FTM
Stu Smith
120 1604
40  down Upper Bullens
Andy Taylor
56 1563
41  up iamgroot
scott mcgow
102 1563
42  up romeoshondavan
Rob Hewer
88 1559
43  down Jarv88
Paul Jarvis
109 1556
44  down cookster fc
Peter Cook
36 1546
45  down Pudding And Pie
John Seacroft
51 1525
46  down Bakerlona FC
Stuart Baker
44 1514
47  same disco dancer
darren frankland
61 1477
48  same Real Jorvik
Simon Brown
29 1437
49  same Release The Hounds
Paul Mitchell
12 1401
50  same Biscuitmen
Chris Morton
23 1291


Buckets Cup Winners – Emegency Gap Jumper

This season’s Bucket Cup champions are Emergency Gap Jumper. They beat Game Of Throw Ins by 102 – 81. Congratulations to them. It’s their first prize money in their 10th Bucket Season. EGJ opted to wildcard, fielding a full XI, whereas GOTI chose not to and went with a seven man squad. The news EGJ won’t want to hear is that they could have beaten GOTI by not wildcarding and simply playing the six players they already had in their squad who were potentially going to play this gameweek. Salah, as captain, Pickford, Milivojevic, Firmino, Doucoure and Gomez would have amassed 85 points.

Manager of the week – The Vinegar Pissers – Paul Hawkins – 124 points

Last week we all put out full teams and some of us struggled to reach what was one of the lowest average scores of the season. This week we’ve four matches in a vastly reduced gameweek – meaning eight teams – seven of them being shit – and 14 Buckets managers post scores of 100+. And it’s all thanks to one player. If ever there was a week in which everybody was going to captain the same man it was this one. Only the ghostships and the league leader decided Mohamed Salah wasn’t up to the job. Brexiter drop to third as a result of their decision to take a punt on Firmino. However, had they gone with Salah, they’d still have lost their lead to The Vinegar Pissers, who have been threatening to take over the top spot for a number of weeks now. Who’d have thought this week would give up the highest gameweek score as well? The VPs only got eight players out, but it would have been a struggle to pick a worse eight. Only Callum Wilson offered up appearance points. Their three man defence contributed a clean sheet each, a goal, an assist and five bonus points. Mane and Milovejevic, playing alongside Salah, added a goal, two assists and two bonus points, and all of a sudden, Cenk Tosun needs to be taken seriously, scoring two to add to the other two he’s notched in his last two games. Four in three and he’s the striker in form.

The VPs have built up quite a lead as a result. Ordinarily you’re happy with an 80 point return, especially from a reduced gameweek, but Hornets are now conceding a 43 point lead to the new leaders. An honorable mention should go to FTM who achieved the second highest score of the weekend and did so by playing their free hit. The free hit chip was developed for gameweeks like this one. FTM finished four shy of The VPs. A bit more faith in Bournemouth or more investment in the Crystal Palace defence over the Everton defence would have seen them over the line. Yet, despite all their efforts, they only moved up two places in the league.

Player of the week – Mohamed Salah – 29 points

It’s the highest weekly score of the season. It’s, from memory, the second highest weekly score ever and the highest single gameweek score. It’s his 14th double figure haul of the season. There have only been seven weeks in the 31 in which he hasn’t either scored or assisted. It’s four goals, an assist and inevitably, all the bonus points. It’s Mohamed Salah, who now sits on 266 points from 30 of the 31 gameweeks. That’s an average of 8.86 points a game. At that rate he should surpass the 300 point mark and become the first player to do that. Luis Suarez’s record is 295 from the 2013/2014 season. Just leave the armband where it is.

Bargain of the week – James Tomkins – 15 points

In truth the other big scores of the weekend could have gone anywhere. Any one of the other teams could have kept a clean sheet or scored a hatful. Those who took a punt on Palace players would have ended up happy, particularly those opting for James Tomkins. He’s the safest route into that Palace defence at the moment – if you dare venture there. You couldn’t have asked for much more than a goal, clean sheet and all the bonus marks. Apart from maybe a second goal, which he as inches away from getting. Just don’t pick him next week.

Twat of the week – Charlie Adam – -2 points

I’m not sure he was gracing too many teams. In fact, he’s been dropping out of squads as opposed to being brought in ahead of this gameweek, which says a lot. Xherdan Shaqiri looked like the most optimistic Stoke choice, along with Jack Butland, who has been racking up the save points over the last few weeks. Shaqiri failed to deliver, but Butland’s 3 point return was the average keeper score. Watford and Huddersfield were the teams to completely ignore this week.

Goal of the week – Junior Stanislas.

1m20s in


Gameweek 31 results

1 Neil Madrid Neil Strong 78 1,767
2 Pescara Rangers Stewart Pope 119 1,742
3 Hedgehog Corpse FC Nick Smith 95 1,739
4 NaboombuDirtyYellows Andrew Swift 95 1,705
5 Shoelace Untied Caroline Strong 63 1,685
6 RayCrawfordsCrackers Rob Hewer 89 1,682
7 Upper Bullens Andy Taylor 66 1,674
8 Uriah Rennie 2nd XI Neil Greenwood 42 1,666
9 * Your Ad Here * Matthew Hopkins 57 1,662
10 Gaalatcticos Colin Goulding 42 1,643
11 Ciderheads Darren Pope 41 1,621
12 Van Damme United P Hawkins 77 1,610
13 Bermie Utd Glen Davies 57 1,604
14 Who R U DEAN CRIPPS 52 1,586
15 Accrington Rudyard Ian Williams 45 1,585
16 Paris Spinks Germain David Spinks 48 1,577
17 Biscuitmen Chris Morton 52 1,575
18 Pretty Schitty City Alex Michaluk 45 1,570
19 Rip Roaring Reds Sean Whyton 82 1,558
20 The Mindless Morons John Seacroft 39 1,528
21 Panza Grande XI Stuart Baker 36 1,524
22 Get to the choppa Mark Bromham 54 1,504
23 No Recognized Plan Paul Bentz 39 1,476
24 Luxembourg United Simon Smallbone 38 1,446
25 Sportingabiggerwig Alex Ritchie 64 1,440
26 Real Jorvik FC Simon Brown 36 1,435
27 Release The Hounds Paul Mitchell 31 1,394
28 Crazylegs XI David Caldicott 44 1,328
29 Jordie’s Giants Jordan Raper 41 1,129


It was a week in which so much happened, and due to me going away for a few days, I’ve got to try and cram it all into a few sentences. There probably won’t be a gameweek 32 preview.

Our highest weekly score bar has been raised again. Pescara’s 119 points will be tough to beat. They took a punt on a Benteke/Austin forward partnership and it paid massive dividends. Those two players alone scored 67 points. I think they were the only Buckets team to play both forwards, and making Benteke captain yielded 46 points – more than some teams total scores. They leapfrogged Hedgehog into second and reduced the gap at the top of the table to 25 points.

The damp squib of a QPR/Villa double gameweek was anything but. QPR scored seven goals. It had previously taken them six gameweeks to do that. Christian Benteke scored all four Villa goals. It had previously taken him 14 gameweeks to do that.

Benteke as captain helped Hedgehog Corpse to victory over Neil Madrid in the cup semi final. Who R U beat Accrington Rudyard in a slightly less high scoring encounter to book their final berth. Neither Who R U or Accrington saw any benefit in the double gameweek. Only a handful of teams, it seems, took the risk. The top four all tried some combination or other of Villa/QPR, and they all moved past the 1700 point barrier this week. The gap between the top teams and the chasing pack is beginning to widen. There may still be twists and turns with one blank and two more double gameweeks to come in the remaining eight.

And then there’s the goal of the week. In a week in which every Arsenal goal, Cambiasso’s goal for Leicester, Bobby Zamora’s peach for QPR against West Brom, Jermain Defoe’s wonder volley in the Tyne Wear derby, Wayne Rooney’s volley against Villa and Bafetimbi Gomis’ overhead would probably have won – and maybe even contested goal of the season (particularly Defoe’s and Zamora’s) – we had Charlie Adam.


Player of the week –  Christian Benteke – 23 points. Equalling the highest weekly score of the season.

Bargain of the week – Charlie Austin – 21 points. Yes – still considered a bargain purchase at £6.5 million. Scored his 16th and 17th goals of the season which is a remarkable achievement.

Donkey of the week – David Meyler – -2 points. Off for a hideous tackle.

Goal of the week – Charlie Adam. 


Gameweek 24 results

1 Romeo’s-honda-van Rob Hewer 68 1,455
2 Panza Grande XI Stuart Baker 41 1,417
3 The Magico Rob Buttaci 45 1,409
4 Sportingoffensivewig Alex Ritchie 48 1,403
5 NaboombuDirtyYellows Andrew Swift 43 1,386
6 Rip Roaring Reds Sean Whyton 43 1,381
7 Crazylegs Xi David Caldicott 42 1,372
8 Shakin’ Stephens P Hawkins 65 1,372
9 Ciderheads Darren Pope 43 1,368
10 Neil Madrid Neil Strong 62 1,362
11 {Your Ad Here} Matthew Hopkins 46 1,355
12 Upper Bullens Scouse Mouse 42 1,344
13 pretty Schitty City Alex Michaluk 44 1,317
14 Kedah FA David Spinks 44 1,288
15 Have a little dink Ian Williams 55 1,287
16 Rien Toulouse Colin Goulding 47 1,286
17 Hedgehog Corpse FC Nick Smith 59 1,286
18 Mid-Season Blip Paul Bentz 62 1,273
19 Uriah Rennie 2nd XI Neil Greenwood 49 1,233
20 Release the Hounds Paul Mitchell 34 1,217
21 Bermie Utd Glen Davies 42 1,212
22 The Mindless Morons John Seacroft 56 1,211
23 Shoelace Untied Caroline Strong 39 1,210
24 Real Jorvik Simon Brown 44 1,175
25 Biscuitmen Chris Morton 57 1,167
26 Inter Minan Jordan Raper 55 1,094


It’s Romeo’s again. This week a score of 68 points wins them the manager of the week award. It’s Romeo’s fifth weekly award. The record for the season, held by the Romeo’s boss, is six. With 13 more weeks to go there’s every chance that record will be beaten. In the event of Romeo’s winning the weekly award, that means that a bye into the first round proper of the cup has opened up to the team top of the league in gameweek 28. That’s probably going to be Romeo’s too….so the second place team looks likely to be handed that bye. Bear that in mind title chasers.

Romeo’s gained 21 of their 68 points from Southampton players. Southampton ran out 3-0 winners away to Fulham this week. Fulham are the league whipping boys at the moment. Whoever they play looks pretty much guaranteed of a victory, and a haul of fantasy points for their players. They were knocked out of the cup at home against Sheffield United last night, and face Manchester United next – at Old Trafford. At last – a gameweek when looking at United players might seem like a viable option.

Sunderland players dominate the highest weekly scores. Vito Mannone again. He has registered his fifth double figure total for the season. A season which only started for him in November. Fabio Borini, Jack Colback and Phil Bardsley picked up 11,12 and 10 points respectively, and Adam Johnson continues his magnificent run of form with another goal. Made all the more sweeter as it all came against Newcastle, who may as well not have bothered turning up.

Player of the week – Kevin Nolan – 16 points. Useless. Everyone booted Nolan out after his second sending off in a month.

Bargain of the week – Charlie Adam – 15 points. Sank United. Goal of the week winner too.

Donkey of the week – Leighton Baines – 1 point. Unusual plus score for this weeks worse player. The worst return for your money at 7.4 and 1 measly point.

Goal of the week – Charlie Adam.