Gameweek 8 results

1  up But Da Pitch Ain’t 1
Trev Reams
71 568
2  down Perfidious Albion
Andrew Swift
60 557
3  same Neil Madrid
Neil Strong
51 510
4  up Game of Stones
Ryan Garoghan
70 507
Adam Burnett
61 507
6  up Thelma and Luiz
Trevor Gordon
68 507
7  down King raggg
Steven Darling
55 507
8  down Cookie fc
Peter Cook
60 505
9  up Deeney in a Bottle
Stephanie Cripps
76 494
10  up Edgbaston
Micheal Dinneen
71 491
11  down FC Caligula
Ajay Supeda
62 491
12  down Need son luck
Matt Jarvis
56 483
13  down The Craggy Islanders
Adrian Roche
49 480
14  down Bielsa Ringing
Alan Hardy
47 466
15  up Upper Bullens
Andy Taylor
55 464
58 459
17  down Mour Salt and Pep
Noel Driver
50 457
18  up Frostee Rucker
Paul Bentz
58 454
19  up Pretty Schitty City
Alex Michaluk
56 453
20  down PenshawPerformers
david bruce
50 453
21  down The Big Lewandowski
Paul Callaghan
35 448
22  up Kompany & Co
58 445
23  down Musttryharder fc
Paul Telford
32 441
23  up romeoshondavan
Rob Hewer
62 441
25  up FTM
Stu Smith
64 435
26  up CAS Vampire Slayers
Mustafa khan
49 435
26  down Your Ad Here
Matthew Hopkins
47 435
28  up Fake Madrid
Andrew Wade
68 425
28  up Pique Blinders
Colin Goulding
50 425
30  up Crazy Leg XI
David Caldicott
52 423
31  down Hoose Reus
James Whitfield
32 423
32  up Shoelace Untied
Caroline Strong
66 418
33  down Aribo Haribo
Paul Hawkins
38 417
28 414
35  down Bakerlona
Stuart Baker
40 414
36  up Dropit like its Hart
Jason Earwicker
65 414
37  up Rip Roaring Reds
Sean Whyton
67 409
38  same ClipityKlopptotitle
tanya thursby
53 408
39  up Dinamo Spinks
David Spinks
53 408
40  down Real Jorvik
Simon Brown
44 405
41  up Salah Buffoon!!!
Jitesh Lakhani
90 401
42  up El Loco No Joko
Paul Murray
56 400
43  down Greeeenteeam
adam greenwood
51 398
44  down Morningblues
Jeff Morning
31 397
45  up It’s coming home
scott mcgow
57 389
46  down Atlético Chappers
Richard Chapman
50 387
47  down Nashton Villa
Jaime Nash
29 384
48  same Kebab Eaters Utd
Paul Howard
54 376
49  up The Mindless Morons
John Seacroft
60 372
50  down Hemel Hotspurs
Paul Jarvis
46 365
51  same Puddle Splash Van
Ian Williams
50 358
52  same Ross’s champions
darren frankland
54 343


Manager of the week – Jitesh Lakhani – Salah Buffoon!!! – 90 points

We’re banging the high scores in week after week. Another 90+ score to win the weekly accolade. Bigger scores were achieved, as in Salah Buffoon!!!’s case, with the right captain choice of the two most popular this week. Harry Kane trolled the majority by not only not scoring, or even getting close, but by also picking up a yellow. Eden Hazard did what it appears he might do every week and put in a man of the match performance adding 14 more points to his total. Hazard is this season’s Salah. He’s never been more essential, posting returns in every gameweek bar one, adding £0.8 million to his value already. Elsewhere the Buffoons scored with three Wolves players, which is becoming template, Callum Wilson, the unlikely king of the assists and Alexandre Lacazette, who is quietly totting the goals up for an Arsenal team that no-one dare mention as title contenders.

Player of the week – Matt Doherty – Wolverhampton Wanderers – 15 points

As essential as Hazard in many ways, for his price and now his scoring rate. Only Hazard can better Doherty’s three double figure returns. This is is highest score to date, and takes him to third in the defender ranks. It’s a good season for attacking wing backs and it means you don’t necessarily need all three of Mendy, Robertson and Alonso.

Bargain of the week – Callum Wilson – Bournemouth – 14 points

Three goals ain’t bad but seven assists is bloody marvelous. Bournemouth are free scoring, hitting four for the second time this season. He and strike partner Josh King scored 27 points between them this week and have 91 points between them overall. A double pronged Bournemouth attack looks like a good proposition.

Twat of the week – Christian Kabasele – Watford – -4 points

You’ve got to go some to get a minus four. Well done son. Watford were twat team of the season last time out and this makes up for their totally twat free start to the season.

Goal of the week – Gylfi Sigurdsson. 49s in.


Gameweek 8 results

1  same Hornets
Andrew Wade
37 498
2  up The Vinegar Pissers
P Hawkins
55 478
3  up Fun Lovren Criminals
Paul Callaghan
60 475
3  down The winnings R mine
david bruce
33 475
5  up Rip Roaring Reds
Sean Whyton
72 473
6  down Kompany & Co
37 465
7  same Gotta Light?
Andrew Swift
50 458
8  down INIT FC
Mustafa khan
33 453
9  down Neil Madrid
Neil Strong
50 452
10  up It’sOnlyAGameFarke!
David Spinks
52 451
11  down Crazylegs XI
David Caldicott
42 445
12  up Edgbaston
Micheal Dinneen
59 441
13  up The Craggy Islanders
Adrian Roche
64 441
14  down King Dunlap
Paul Bentz
38 440
15  down Jarv88
Paul Jarvis
37 438
16  down Golden Boys
Stephanie Cripps
40 436
17  up Brexiter City
Colin Goulding
49 436
18  up Flying squad
Matt Jarvis
55 433
19  down Despicable Mee
Trevor Gordon
50 433
20  down Klopp of the Pochs
Jason Earwicker
28 430
21  up Bakerlona FC
Stuart Baker
53 425
22  down FTM
Stu Smith
44 423
23  down Rico united
31 420
24  down musttryharder FC
Paul Telford
34 420
25  down Queen of the north
36 418
26  up Kebab Eaters Utd
Paul Howard
66 418
27  up Aquamar 1564
Noel Driver
56 415
28  down greenyteamy
adam greenwood
39 406
29  up Upper Bullens
Andy Taylor
47 404
30  up Nashton Villa
Jaime Nash
48 404
31  down FC Caligula
Ajay Supeda
42 402
32  down Real Jorvik
Simon Brown
26 397
33  same We are Ayling
Paul Murray
40 394
34  up Game of Throw-Ins
Ryan Garoghan
47 394
35  down Atlético Chappers
Richard Chapman
31 392
36  down romeoshondavan
Rob Hewer
41 390
37  down Release The Hounds
Paul Mitchell
36 389
38  up To Elland Back
Alan Hardy
39 383
39  down Your Ad Here
Matthew Hopkins
30 380
40  up Pure Buffoonery!
Jitesh Lakhani
49 380
41  up cookster fc
Peter Cook
41 374
42  down Pretty Schitty City
Alex Michaluk
22 371
43  up disco dancer
darren frankland
45 370
44  down Shoelace Untied
Caroline Strong
26 366
45  down mrs mcgoo
laura barrett
29 365
46  up blakes11
Steven Darling
57 354
47  down Emergency Gap Jumper
Ian Williams
34 346
48  down Pudding And Pie
John Seacroft
32 343
49  down iamgroot
scott mcgow
35 341
50  same Biscuitmen
Chris Morton
45 286


Manager of the week – Sean Whyton – Rip Roaring Reds – 72 points

A significant move of seven places up the league into the top five for the Reds. There have been may teams threatening to knock the Hornets off the top with bursts into the top 10 in recent weeks but none have succeeded. They maintain their 20-ish point lead as they have done for the last 6 gameweeks. Reds’ success came from spying Christian Eriksen’s slightly left field potential as a captain choice. As Harry Kane had another week off the Spurs midfielder picked up the big points from their paltry 1-0 win over Bournemouth.

Player of the week – Raheem Sterling – 15 points

Had to be a City player didn’t it? Sterling’s not even a guaranteed starter and still has more goals than Everton. It’s reached a stage where you don’t even necessarily have to worry if a City player starts on the bench. He’ll either come on and score or start next week and score.

Bargain of the week – Tammy Abraham – 13 points

A favoured cheap pick that’s starting to find his feet. The problem is whether you pick him week in week out or not. Presumably if he’s your third striker you’ve heavily invested in your midfield and they probably look better bets for consistent scoring.

Twat of the week – Andy Carroll – -2 points

Two elbows in 10 minutes is much worse than seven conceded in 90. Silly boy.

Goal of the week – Fernandinho, Take your pick of any of the City 7.

Gameweek 8 result

same Neil Madrid
Neil Strong
62 472
same nO fucHs given
Paul Callaghan
52 452
up Aquamar 15
Noel Driver
61 448
60 446
down Uriah Rennie 2nd XI
Neil Greenwood
49 441
down To Elland Back
Alan Hardy
37 427
up Joey Bosa
Paul Bentz
58 426
up Kebab Eaters Utd
Paul Howard
52 424
down When Harry met Alli
Trevor Gordon
37 422
10  same 4 Fuchs Ake
Jason Earwicker
42 420
11  up Rip Roaring Reds
Sean Whyton
55 418
12  down 30:19
Darren Lavelle
35 416
13  down The Craggy Islanders
Adrian Roche
28 411
14  down RICO UNITED
35 410
15  up Yeboah’s Right Foot
Paul Murray
70 410
16  same Go Buffoons Go
Jitesh Lakhani
57 409
17  down Biscuitmen
Chris Morton
41 404
18  up Hedgehog Corpse FC
Nick Smith
56 397
19  down Golden Boys
Stephanie Cripps
39 394
20  down Edgbaston
Micheal Dinneen
37 387
21  up INIT FC
Mustafa khan
49 386
22  down greenyteamy
adam greenwood
40 385
23  up Your Ad Here
Matthew Hopkins
51 385
24  down Release The Hounds
Paul Mitchell
35 380
24  up Ciderheads
Darren Pope
42 380
26  down FTM
Stu Smith
41 380
26  up Crazy Legs XI
David Caldicott
44 380
28  up Atlético Chappers
Richard Chapman
57 378
29  up FC Caligula
Ajay Supeda
35 368
30  up Jeff Lamp’s Porsche
David Spinks
43 367
31  up Cooksters
Peter Cook
57 366
32  down Jarvis FC
Matt Jarvis
36 366
33  down RG XV
Ryan Garoghan
39 363
34  down Real Jorvik
Simon Brown
16 355
35  up romeoshondavan
Rob Hewer
50 354
36  up Big White Chiefs
david frankland
53 350
37  down Upper Bullens
Andy Taylor
32 346
38  down Pretty Schitty City
Alex Michaluk
30 343
39  up Bish Bosh Goal
Simon Purnell
47 340
40  up Hucking Fell
P Hawkins
41 332
41  same Bermie Utd
Glen Davies
32 328
42  up Have a little dink
Ian Williams
37 325
43  down jetty city
scott mcgow
27 325
44  down Bakerlona
Stuart Baker
22 322
45  down Shoelace Untied
Caroline Strong
28 318
46  up I am not Zlatan
Colin Goulding
46 316
47  up Racing Club Skegness
Andrew Swift
45 311
48  down DJ’s Trail Blazers
Danian Jones
34 310
49  up Pepe Le Blue
40 303
50  down bazza 28 united
laura barrett
29 296
51  same Dj daz
darren frankland
29 288
52  same Jarv88
Paul Jarvis
22 275
53  same Pudding And Pie
John Seacroft
33 264


Two penalty saves in one game is a rare feat. Maarten Stekelenberg picked up 17 points, a massive total for a keeper, as a result of keeping out Kevin De Bruyne and then Sergio Aguero. The Aguero save in particular wouldn’t have gone down well with a lot of managers. Aguero scored a record low -1 points – -2 for the unfortunate bunch who opted for him as captain. You were unluckier still if you had Christian Benteke as another of your attackers. He also missed from the spot. Aguero became a first time donkey – out-donkeying even the Hull defence, but Stekelenberg’s efforts weren’t enough to secure him a player of the week award. Thanks to that Hull defence, Junior Stanislas outscored everyone else with only the second 20+ score of the season, equalling Nacer Chadli’s 21 points from a few weeks ago.

Top manager this week is Yeboah’s right foot – for the second consecutive week. This week they notched 70 points and moved a further seven places up the table from 22nd to 15th. They’d risen 13 places the previous week. Reminds me of the charts in the eighties. They could be top ten next week. Key to their total were goal scoring performances from Nathan Redmond and Dele Alli, who has actually had four scoring weeks in the last five – a little under the radar. I hadn’t noticed. Yeboah’s also plumped for Costa as their captain and had the form horse, Theo Walcott, leadng their midfield.

Player of the week – Junior Stanislas – 21 points. The new Capoue?

Bargain of the week – Joe Allen – 16 points. Stoke’s goal machine.

Donkey of the week – Sergio Aguero – -1 points. By no means a safe bet from the penalty spot.

Goal of the week – Jose Holebas.


Gameweek 8 preview

Chelsea v Leicester
Arsenal v Swansea
Bournemouth v  Hull
Man City v Everton
Stoke v Sunderland
West Brom v Spurs
Crystal Palace v West Ham
Middlesbrough v Watford
Southampton v Burnley
Liverpool v Man Utd

It appears most players have returned with a clean bill of health from their international travails, although there’s always a question mark over those flying further afield. Alexis Sanchez and Philippe Coutinho were rested on their return from South America last time and I guess it could happen again. Some teams can afford the luxury of dropping key players with plenty in reserve. That might be a particular annoyance to Sanchez owners with a home tie against Swansea this weekend and the potential for him to fill his boots. Serio Aguero was mid-suspension during the last international break. It’ll be interesting to see how Guardiola approaches the situation. And he did allegedly pick up an injury in Argentina’s first match against Peru, yet still played in their second against Paraguay. Kelechi Iheanacho looks more than a capable stand in these days, although he has been to Zambia and back himself in the last week.

The more serious injury concerns happened within the England squad. Raheem Sterling and Adam Lallana are the in form English players of the moment. Neither played either international. Lallana was injured in Liverpool’s last game and Sterling pulled out of the squad. If you believe internet reports, it doesn’t look promising for either player, although Lallana does have a few extra days to prove his fitness. Tom Heaton was also withdrawn after the first qualifier. The competitions leading keeper picked up a ‘minor’ calf injury and is listed as 75% fit. God knows what that really means.

Stoke’s luck could be about to change. Despite the worst goal difference in the league, having scored the least and with only West Ham conceding more, their run of fixtures into December all look eminently winnable. They play seven consecutive games against teams in the bottom half of the table, starting at home against Sunderland this weekend. They’ve yet to keep a clean sheet, but crucially have stopped shipping threes and fours. Shay Given bore the brunt of their worst performances and was replaced by Lee Grant, who in the last two games has accumulated 7 points. He’s another £4 million reserve keeper with almost guaranteed game time. That is until Jack Butland returns – and that appears to be some time in mid November. He keeps a Premier League clean sheet one in every three games. Stoke could be mid table by Christmas.

Gameweek 8 results

1 Your Ad Here Matthew Hopkins 115 439
2 4 Lime Jellies Ian Williams 72 419
3 FC Caligula Ajay Supeda 98 419
4 Golden Boys Stephanie Cripps 73 418
5 Pretty Schitty City Alex Michaluk 77 417
6 Rocky Ba Bauer P Hawkins 103 416
7 Edgbaston Micheal Dinneen 96 415
8 Below Par Paul Bentz 82 415
9 The Kolarov Mané Trevor Gordon 94 412
10 Bicuitmen Chris Morton 116 410
11 Init fc Mustafa khan 99 410
12 Walking with Memphis Noel Driver 80 409
13 The Craggy Islanders Adrian Roche 98 405
14 Romeo’s Honda Van Rob Hewer 126 396
15 greensmeansbusiness adam greenwood 55 393
16 Game of Throw ins Darren Lavelle 98 393
18 Gaalacticos Colin Goulding 98 379
19 Hedgehog Corpse FC Nick Smith 109 376
20 Bermie Utd Glen Davies 96 375
21 Atlético Chappers Richard Chapman 90 374
22 Sergio Five O DEAN CRIPPS 78 373
23 Go Buffoons Go!!! Jitesh Lakhani 92 373
24 scotty2hotty scott mcgow 59 371
25 Upper Bullens Andy Taylor 48 366
26 Shoelace Untied Caroline Strong 81 361
27 Neil Madrid Neil Strong 86 359
28 Grievous AngelRangel Andrew Swift 58 358
29 JonniestaRedmondinho David Spinks 78 358
30 Rip Roaring Reds Sean Whyton 72 355
31 Sweet Cherry Pie Jason Earwicker 54 347
32 SS3 FC Paul Murray 52 343
33 Release The Hounds Paul Mitchell 43 342
34 The Hardy Boys Alan Hardy 88 340
35 Bish Bosh Goal Simon Purnell 57 335
36 Uriah Rennie 2nd XI Neil Greenwood 94 333
37 Howayman Mark Bromham 50 330
38 Ciderheads Darren Pope 81 326
39 Crazy Legs XI David Caldicott 55 325
40 Baker Bum Boys Lewis Baker 60 316
41 Panza Grande XI Stuart Baker 28 297
42 REAL JORVIK Simon Brown 49 294
43 The Mindless Morons John Seacroft 73 288
44 BrussiaHairbach Alex Ritchie 51 275


Following Saturday’s games the scores were split between two distinct groups – those with, and those without. Thankfully there were enough points on offer from Sunday’s games for those without to make up the ground they’d lost – providing of course they had the right players. There have been some big movers in the league this week – up and down.

Up 19 places to number 14 is Romeo’s Honda Van. Triple captaining Sergio scored Romeo’s 75 points. A genius move. Their 126 point total will be hard to beat, even in a double gameweek. Aguero’s 25 points has been bettered in the Buckets era. Theo Walcott hit 26 points in the 2012-13 season following a 7-3 butchering of… Newcastle. Who else? Edin Dzeko also equaled this total in the penultimate week of the 2013-14 season. Other than the 75 points earned by Aguero – a single weekly score record for a Buckets team member – Romeo’s also had Dimitri Payet and Kevin De Bruyne on board. Payet moves to within a point of Riyad Mahrez in the overall player scores. It’s been an impressive start to Premiership life by De Bruyne who is averaging 9 points per gameweek. He’s easily the most reliable City midfielder at the moment. Romeo’s also picked up 21 points from Sunday’s games. 14 points came courtesy of the Arsenal defence and another seven from the in-form Romelu Lukaku. What is most extraordinary is that Romeo’s posted their mega-score with only nine men. Bacary Sagna and Riyad Mahrez were non-players and they’d nothing on the bench in reserve.

It was a weekend in which the old school rose again. There were five 100+ scores – all scored by Buckets veterans. Up 17 places to 19 are Hedgehog Corpse. Hedgehog managed 109 points, with Aguero as captain claiming 50 of them. A further 16 points came from the boot and bonuses of Alexis Sanchez, 13 from Mesut Ozil, 10 from Payet and nine from Odion Ighalo. Sanchez’s season is up and running now with five goals and six bonus points in two games. From nowhere to the fourth best overall score in a fortnight.

Up 11 to tenth go the Biscuitmen. To the 50 points contributed by Aguero, Biscuitmen added 14 points from Graziano Pelle, who became the games highest scoring striker, nine from Jamie Vardy, who scored for the fifth consecutive game and 10 from Yannick Bolasie, whom I have no stat about. Biscuitmen’s defence stood firm contributing 28 points in total.

Up six to sixth go Rocky Ba Bauer with 103 points. Rocky hold the current weekly points record – 165 points in gameweek 31 of 2013-14. Yohan Cabaye, Payet and Vardy were the additional big scorers to Aguero’s 50 points.

Last but not least, Your Ad Here also climb six places to top spot. Our new leaders collected 115 points to build up a 20 point lead. They were another with an Aguero/Sanchez double header, as well as healthy contributions from the Arsenal defence and Andre Ayew.

Of the fallers, Release The Hounds plummeted the furthest. They fell 15 places to 33rd. They picked up a combined total of 9 points from their City and Arsenal contingent – so obviously no Aguero or Sanchez. They relied heavily on Manchester United with Martial as captain, Rooney and Mata – to the tune of just 7 points. It was a bad week compounded by virtually everybody else scoring double their total.

And so on to those who were looking in trouble after Saturday’s games, but were rescued by Sunday’s – most notably 4 Lime Jellies and Pretty Schitty City. The Jellies may not occupy top spot anymore, but will be glad of the 28 points added to their Saturday score. This included nine extra points from Jamie Vardy who defaulted as captain following Riyad Mahrez’s omission. City also picked up nine points from Vardy as vice captain (again in place of Mahrez), plus another 40 points from the players they had playing on Sunday. This included nine from Andre Ayew who was Mahrez’s substitute. City had dropped out of the top 20 on Saturday evening, but found their way back up to fifth 24 hours later.

What a week. Just what we needed – a good shake up before the international break.


Player of the week – Sergio Aguero – 25 points. Inevitably. These goals were always going to come at some point.

Bargain of the week – Yann M’Vila – 10 points. Two assists, but overshadowed by all the bigger scorers elsewhere.

Donkey of the week – Matteo Darmian – -1 points. How is this not a Newcastle player?

Goal of the week – Jeremain Lens. Double award week for Sunderland.