Gameweek 29 results

I didn’t set up my team this week with an international pandemic in mind, otherwise I doubt I’d have captained Aubameyang and brought in three Arsenal players to try my luck on the double gameweek. A double gameweek that was announced and then cancelled within a matter of days. It’s clear from the league table that I’m not the only one who had pinned my hopes on some big scores coming from the teams playing twice. It can’t always be relied upon, but it’s too much of a temptation to turn down for some managers. So we’re left with a semi-complete gameweek and no idea when – or even IF – the cancelled game will get played. As it stands, GW30 is going ahead – and the blank GW31 with it’s accompanying FA Cup games. But who knows?

There has been a lot of change at the top of the league and two very closely contested and low scoring Buckets Cup semi-finals. An don’t mention Last Man Standing. I mean the prize might literally go to the last one of us able to stand.

1
FC Caligula
Ajay Supeda
80 1690
2
Game of Stones
Ryan Garoghan
66 1686
3
Nashton Villa
Jaime Nash
46 1671
4
Edgbaston
Micheal Dinneen
67 1644
5
Locky Bauer Bowyer
Paul Hawkins
43 1643
6
DaSilvaortheFreD
Stephen Papadopoulos
45 1632
7
BASHAM’S ARRIVING!
Tim Dodd
62 1630
8
Rip Roaring Reds
Sean Whyton
58 1626
9
Soup-or-Boom.
Ian Driver
70 1613
10
Sterling Silva
DEAN CRIPPS
50 1592

Caligula race to the top with a week-winning score of 80 points, capitalising on the no-show of captain Kevin De Bruyne, taking five additional points from the bench and nine more from their promoted vice. Having Harvey Barnes helped. And persevering with Jamie Vardy too – in the week I feel a lot of people may have eventually got rid to accommodate Arsenal and/or Manchester City players.

It was a bad week for Nashton Villa who relinquished the top spot in the league and were knocked out of the cup. Mister D triumphed 50-46, thanks largely to Ayoze Perez not taking part in Leicester’s 4-0 thumping of Villa. A double knife to the heart of the Nashton manager. Chris Wood was promoted from the bench to the tune of 9 points, enough to see them over the line. The second semi-final was totally drab. Neil Madrid prevailed 41-37 against Queen Of The North. “You can only beat what’s put in front of you”, I will repeatedly say if anyone dare suggest it’s a fix.

Manager of the week – FC Caligula – Ajay Supeda – 80 points

Player of the week – Harvey Barnes – Leicester City – 19 points

Bargain of the week – Alex McCarthy – Southampton – 12 points

Twat of the week – Moussa Djenepo – Southampton – -2 points

Goal of the week – Mason Mount. At 28s in.

Gameweek 26 results

Hi. Remember me. The longest, most arduous, painful, wet and windy gameweek in history has finally come to a close. It started on the 8th February. Before weather had been invented and Manchester City had something to play for. And finally ended last night. I’ll be honest, I have absolutely no recollection of the first few games. We had a game postponed – then rearranged, thankfully within the same gameweek. Only in this country could we have a winter break and still have a game postponed?! Last night’s rearranged fixture gave us another KDB masterclass. Particularly pleasing for those that gave him the armband. Whatever the uncertainty at City at the moment – he stays.

And we have new leaders…

Nashton have been threatening to rise to the top. They’ve bagged green arrows in nine of the last eleven weeks, scoring above average in ten of those weeks. Their nearest challenger in the top ten this week was 14 points adrift of their 77 point total. They’ve finished top ten in each of the last two manager of the month tables and are in with a chance of finally scooping a prize in this one. They have their second wildcard remaining, but are out of chips. Have they disarmed themselves? How are they going to negotiate the doubles and blanks?

1
Nashton Villa
Jaime Nash
77 1539
2
Game of Stones
Ryan Garoghan
50 1538
3
FC Caligula
Ajay Supeda
63 1525
4
DaSilvaortheFreD
Stephen Papadopoulos
53 1517
5
Locky Bauer Bowyer
Paul Hawkins
47 1506
6
Atlético Chappers
Richard Chapman
43 1491
7
BASHAM’S ARRIVING!
Tim Dodd
60 1490
8
Rip Roaring Reds
Sean Whyton
45 1489
9
Sterling Silva
DEAN CRIPPS
57 1487
10
Edgbaston
Micheal Dinneen
62 1486

Highest scorer this week is Real Jorvik, all the way down on page two. They captained KDB and picked up five bonus-strewn clean sheets. There were four 80+ scores this week, with all four teams in the bottom half of the table – two of them on page two – and including wooden spooners, ShakeItDown, who amassed 83 points thanks to a TAA triple captain punt, a triple Liverpool defence and nine out of their ten (yes, just ten) players returning something. The other two 80+ers were Rico United and Queen Of The North. It’s a shame three of the four are out of the cup. These mega-scores came a week too late.

Talking of which, we’ve had a few surprise results and early exits in the knockout competition this gameweek. Only three of the current top ten remain in the hunt. Red n White are the lowest ranked side left – and are still going strong in the Last Man Standing. Long time leaders, Locky’s were knocked out by Mister D, currently in 56th place.

Manager of the week – Real Jorvik – Simon Brown – 87 points

Player of the week – Nicolas Pepe – Arsenal – 17 points

Bargain of the week – Dominic Calvert-Lewin – Everton – 11 points

Twat of the week – Adrian Mariappa – Watford – -1 points

Goal of the week – Matej Vydra. 1m31s in. 

Gameweek 16 results

How much longer before we’re completely rid of our Manchester City players? Raheem Sterling has exited close to a million teams in the last month and with that seen an almost half million pounds price drop. There comes a time when patience just becomes sheer stubbornness and stupidity. Let it go, let it go. And as for Kevin De Bruyne, the one asset we all thought we’d stick by… Just because he was dirt cheap in the first place, shouldn’t mean he’s not replacable when the points dry up. He doesn’t look quite so cheap now when you compare his current form to that of Son and Alli, or even Jonjo bloody Shelvey. It is Arsenal this weekend though?!

It was a good week for Locky’s at the top, re-establishing a lead with the highest score in the top ten. It looks like the Spurs bandwagon has been well and truly jumped upon by a number of teams, most notably our leaders and Atletico Chappers, who leap up into third – possibly their highest placing ever. Chappers opted away from Vardy as captain and chose Harry Kane, who posted only his second double digit score of the season – the first being in GW1. Smooth.

1
Locky Bauer Bowyer
Paul Hawkins
79 1007
2
Game of Stones
Ryan Garoghan
67 963
3
Atlético Chappers
Richard Chapman
72 945
4
Sterling Silva
DEAN CRIPPS
46 944
5
GingerFizz
Noel Driver
68 938
6
FC Caligula
Ajay Supeda
52 935
7
musttryharder fc
Paul Telford
54 927
8
Rip Roaring Reds
Sean Whyton
75 922
9
Edgbaston
Micheal Dinneen
66 920
10
Neil Madrid
Neil Strong
66 910

Our monster score of the week, however, came from Kebab Eaters, who despite being down in 33rd place are on a bit of a roll. They’ve climbed 3.5 million places in the last seven weeks, managing consecutive green arrows. This 94 point haul was in among the top 20k worldwide and was miraculously made up of a five man defence in a week in which only four teams kept clean sheets. Standard captain plus a nice smattering of Spurs players, which I imagine may increase over the coming weeks, also saw them race into early contention for the December monthly prize.

Manager of the week – Kebab Eaters United – Paul Howard – 94 points

Player of the week – Harry Kane – Tottenham Hotspur – 16 points

Bargain of the week – George Baldock – Sheffield United – 14 points

Twat of the week – Matt Targett – Aston Villa – -1 points

Goal of the week – Heung-Min Son. 

Gameweek 12 results

Spot the top 10 team without Jamie Vardy in their ranks. Captaining him this week probably earned you a score over 70. The move towards Vardy as the popular captain choice probably had a lot to do with City and Liverpool playing each other, but whose to say it won’t continue given the form that he and Leicester are in and their upcoming run of tasty fixtures. Can you see him not scoring against Brighton, Villa, Watford, Everton and Norwich?

1
Locky Bauer Bowyer
Paul Hawkins
63 755
2
Sterling Silva
DEAN CRIPPS
66 730
3
FC Caligula
Ajay Supeda
78 722
4
Game of Stones
Ryan Garoghan
73 718
5
Atlético Chappers
Richard Chapman
69 707
6
GingerFizz
Noel Driver
75 705
7
DaSilvaortheFreD
Stephen Papadopoulos
62 690
8
musttryharder fc
Paul Telford
60 689
9
Crazylegs XI
David Caldicott
46 679
10
Edgbaston
Micheal Dinneen
72 675

Romeoshondavan chalked up their first manager of the week award with a 79 point haul. They felt the need to take an 8 point hit, following on from a 4 point hit last week. Those six transfers have stopped a pretty hefty slide down the rankings that saw them plummet 1.4 million places between gameweek 7 and 10. They’re clawed 700,000 of those places back as a result.

Manager of the week – Romeoshondavan – Rob Hewer – 79 points

Player of the week – James Tarkowski – Burnley – 12 points

Bargain of the week – Gerard Deulefeu – Watford – 12 points

Twat of the week – Davy Propper – Brighton and Hove Albion – -1 points

Goal of the week – Fabinho

Gameweek 11 results

We have a leader. A proper leader. There’ll be no more weekly chopping and changing at the top for a while given Locky Bauer Bowyer’s current rate of scoring. This week they surpassed the 100 point barrier – the first team to do that so far this season. Their total of 103 becomes the highest weekly score, eclipsing Cook Pass Babtridge’s week one total of 99. It was inside the top 6,000 in the world – one of the top 0.1% in the entire game. And as a result, they now sit in the top 2,000 overall.

1
Locky Bauer Bowyer
Paul Hawkins
103 692
2
Sterling Silva
DEAN CRIPPS
78 664
3
Game of Stones
Ryan Garoghan
79 645
4
FC Caligula
Ajay Supeda
81 644
5
Atlético Chappers
Richard Chapman
74 642
6
GingerFizz
Noel Driver
56 634
7
Crazylegs XI
David Caldicott
73 633
8
DaSilvaortheFreD
Stephen Papadopoulos
68 632
9
musttryharder fc
Paul Telford
70 629
10
BASHAM’S ARRIVING!
Tim Dodd
56 613

No-one really got close to them but that’s not to say everyone had a bad week. Most of us have John Lundstram after all. The next nearest score was 83, one of a hefty group of managers posting 70+ totals, most of whom, if not all, would have received green arrows.

Every one of Locky’s starting XI contributed, apart from KDB, who was the game’s second top scorer at the start of the weekend. Manchester City were arguably the main reason the rest of us didn’t challenge that high score. The Sterling or De Bruyne captain choice looked too good to ignore against Southampton. We should maybe have expected Saints to park the bus. When the defence was finally breached it was by Aguero, who has been exiting a lot of teams recently (although not Locky Bauer Bowyer’s), and Kyle Walker. A Sterling and KDB double up would have gained you no more that 5 points.

Manager of the week – Paul Hawkins – Locky Bauer Bowyer – 103 points

Player of the week – John Lundstram – Sheffield United – 21 points

Bargain of the week – Lys Mousset – Sheffield United – 13 points

Twat of the week – James Tarkowsi – Burnley – 0 points

Goal of the week – Jamie Vardy. 2m14s