Gameweek 34 results

1  same The Craggy Islanders
Adrian Roche
42 2128
2  up But Da Pitch Ain’t 1
Trev Reams
75 2123
3  down Perfidious Albion
Andrew Swift
42 2104
4  same Neil Madrid
Neil Strong
45 2063
5  same Bielsa Ringing
Alan Hardy
44 2018
6  same Shoelace Untied
Caroline Strong
43 1997
7  up INIT FC
Mustafa khan
82 1991
8  down FC Caligula
Ajay Supeda
43 1973
9  up Rip Roaring Reds
Sean Whyton
64 1946
10  same Edgbaston
Micheal Dinneen
56 1944
11  down FTM
Stu Smith
43 1938
12  same Aribo Haribo
Paul Hawkins
59 1920
13  up Deeney in a Bottle
Stephanie Cripps
54 1896
14  down Game of Stones
Ryan Garoghan
36 1894
15  up King raggg
Steven Darling
90 1891
16  down Frostee Rucker
Paul Bentz
44 1879
17  up Nashton Villa
Jaime Nash
86 1879
18  up Pretty Schitty City
Alex Michaluk
62 1862
19  down Upper Bullens
Andy Taylor
34 1859
20  up Dinamo Spinks
David Spinks
71 1858
21  down Cookie fc
Peter Cook
42 1855
22  up Salah Buffoon!!!
Jitesh Lakhani
65 1845
23  down Mour Salt and Pep
Noel Driver
54 1834
24  same RICO UNITED
58 1831
25  same Kebab Eaters Utd
Paul Howard
55 1817
26  up Kompany & Co
67 1805
27  same SLABHEAD FC
Adam Burnett
59 1795
28  up Musttryharder fc
Paul Telford
74 1789
29  up PenshawPerformers
david bruce
59 1785
30  same Fake Madrid
Andrew Wade
49 1785
31  down Crazy Leg XI
David Caldicott
38 1782
32  down Your Ad Here
Matthew Hopkins
39 1776
33  down Need son luck
Matt Jarvis
49 1775
34  up Dropit like its Hart
Jason Earwicker
59 1742
35  down Hemel Hotspurs
Paul Jarvis
48 1742
36  up The Big Lewandowski
Paul Callaghan
84 1737
37  up Real Jorvik
Simon Brown
67 1731
38  down El Loco No Joko
Paul Murray
62 1727
39  same Morningblues
Jeff Morning
70 1723
84 1722
41  down Greeeenteeam
adam greenwood
33 1715
42  same Pique Blinders
Colin Goulding
66 1702
43  down Atlético Chappers
Richard Chapman
47 1689
44  up Puddle Splash Van
Ian Williams
70 1687
45  up Hoose Reus
James Whitfield
72 1685
46  down romeoshondavan
Rob Hewer
46 1665
47  up It’s coming home
scott mcgow
85 1650
48  down ClipityKlopptotitle
tanya thursby
74 1641
49  same The Mindless Morons
John Seacroft
55 1544
50  same Ross’s champions
darren frankland
57 1475


Top of the league – The Craggy Islanders – 2128 points

The three way battle for Buckets supremacy took another twist this week. The Islanders remain top, but theirs and Albions less than average totals opened the door for Da Pitch to creep back into real contention. The Islander’s wildcard was played with more than one eye on next weeks fixtures, but Brighton’s total failure as a double gameweek team this week let them and many others down. No goals scored and seven conceded is not what was wanted. Some managers fell even further into the trap and captained a Brighton defender. It’s a cruel irony that the best bet would have been to stick with those single gameweeking bloody Bournemouth players who hammered the first five past the hapless Seagulls defence. Take some consolation in the fact that Brighton defender Shane Duffy backed himself in his own fantasy side. Bizarrely, however, he also had Callum Wilson in his attack!

Manager of the week – King Raggg – Stephen Darling – 90 points

King Raggg accumulated 31 points from Bournemouth assets, as well as healthy contributions from captain Christian Eriksen and Raheem Sterling, to post an impressive 90 point total. It puts them top of the monthly league at the halfway stage. Not a single Brighton player in sight. A wise move.

Player of the week – Lucas Moura – Tottenham Hotspur – 21 points

Spurs players were popular among most managers and not just those on a wildcard ahead of next week’s double. Any team playing Huddersfield almost guarantees some return. Even before Dele Alli was ruled out, Lucas Moura should have come into contention for many more teams than he did, considering the likely rotation ahead of their European fixture in the midweek. Son was benched but nabbed a late assist much to the relief of many managers -and Christian Eriksen provided the same return in a 90 minute performance. This paved the way for Moura to provide a hat trick, top bonus and a load of hindsight.

Bargain of the week – Sean Morrison – 16 points

And in the end the best double gameweeker came from Cardiff. One point from the Burnley game was followed up with fifteen against Brighton. Its Morrison’s eighth clean sheet – Cardiff’s ninth overall. Brighton have kept six. Weren’t Cardiff the better bet for points in the first place?

Twat of the week – Troy Deeney – Watford – -2 points

Deeney was another popular choice on wildcard ahead of the double. He’ll play no further part in that. Watford will have to look to Andre Gray or Isaac Success to maintain their quest for the best of the rest. Some fantasy managers will be less enthused to make the same switch I imagine.

Goal of the week – Mohamed Salah. 1m08s

Gameweek 34 results

1  same The Vinegar Pissers
P Hawkins
106 2069
2  up The Craggy Islanders
Adrian Roche
107 2008
3  down Hornets
Andrew Wade
74 1985
4  up Despicable Mee
Trevor Gordon
91 1984
5  down Nashton Villa
Jaime Nash
76 1982
6  down Brexiter City
Colin Goulding
81 1981
7  same FC Caligula
Ajay Supeda
105 1980
8  same Edgbaston
Micheal Dinneen
99 1969
9  up greenyteamy
adam greenwood
78 1940
10  up INIT FC
Mustafa khan
112 1938
11  down Emergency Gap Jumper
Ian Williams
69 1933
12  same Fun Lovren Criminals
Paul Callaghan
83 1928
13  same The winnings R mine
david bruce
80 1925
14  down Game of Throw-Ins
Ryan Garoghan
65 1922
15  down Queen of the north
82 1916
16  down Rico united
83 1908
17  same Rip Roaring Reds
Sean Whyton
63 1889
18  up Kebab Eaters Utd
Paul Howard
113 1885
19  same We are Ayling
Paul Murray
93 1882
20  same It’sOnlyAGameFarke!
David Spinks
73 1879
21  down Gotta Light?
Andrew Swift
57 1872
22  same Shoelace Untied
Caroline Strong
72 1870
23  down Atlético Chappers
Richard Chapman
74 1866
24  down Golden Boys
Stephanie Cripps
73 1852
25  same Flying squad
Matt Jarvis
83 1845
26  same Aquamar 1564
Noel Driver
81 1837
27  down Pure Buffoonery!
Jitesh Lakhani
89 1837
28  up To Elland Back
Alan Hardy
91 1834
29  same Klopp of the Pochs
Jason Earwicker
75 1823
30  down Your Ad Here
Matthew Hopkins
64 1818
31  up Neil Madrid
Neil Strong
82 1812
32  up Kompany & Co
75 1807
33  up mrs mcgoo
laura barrett
70 1800
34  down Crazylegs XI
David Caldicott
56 1799
35  down Pretty Schitty City
Alex Michaluk
52 1797
36  same musttryharder FC
Paul Telford
64 1791
37  same FTM
Stu Smith
73 1785
38  same King Dunlap
Paul Bentz
93 1783
39  same blakes11
Steven Darling
80 1757
40  up cookster fc
Peter Cook
68 1717
41  up Jarv88
Paul Jarvis
73 1707
42  down iamgroot
scott mcgow
54 1705
43  up romeoshondavan
Rob Hewer
78 1693
44  down Upper Bullens
Andy Taylor
49 1687
45  same Pudding And Pie
John Seacroft
82 1672
46  same Bakerlona FC
Stuart Baker
69 1648
47  same disco dancer
darren frankland
90 1645
48  same Real Jorvik
Simon Brown
61 1572
49  same Release The Hounds
Paul Mitchell
72 1552
50  same Biscuitmen
Chris Morton
73 1449


Manager of the week – Kebab Eaters United – Paul Howard – 113 points

Only five 100+ scores in what was an underwhelming double gameweek. The highest scorers averaged not much more than what you’d expect from a single gameweek; and rotation, as it always does, reared it’s annoying, ugly head. Most managers played the week as best they could, utilising their bench boosts and triple captains, and most topped the worldwide average of 64 points, which is the highest of the season so far. The best Buckets team were the Kebab Eaters. Their 113 points was enough to climb them six places and within sight of the top 10. They bench boosted with Chris Smalling, Pascal Gross, Romelu Lukaku and Luca Milivojevic all among their XV.

The Vinegar Pissers stretched their lead at the top to 61 points and have gone top 10,000 in the world. They also topped the century mark. As did The Craggy Islanders, who are now in second, and FC Caligula, who now sit seventh. And like a Grand National finish, the favourites are taking their positions and getting ready to pounce in the final furlongs. Despicable Mee also rose another two places into fourth. The chipless Hornets dropped to third but did well not to lose too much ground and still post a respectable 74 points. Both Nashton and Brexiter, who didn’t use a chip this week, also scored well and despite dropping places aren’t out of the race. They do have one chip left each – their bench boost – surely lined up for GW37. The VPs, the Islanders and Despicable all have their triple captain remaining. But keep an eye on Caligula. They still have their free hit, probably primed for the upcoming week, and their triple captain, again no doubt ready for GW37. Some teams may be a player or two short for the coming week’s reduced schedule – Caligula can pick who they want.

Player of the week – Chris Smalling – 16 points

Man United defenders were always likely to be well positioned to score highly this week with two fixtures against West Brom and Bournemouth. It didn’t start well with a 1-0 loss to the bottom club. That prompted all kinds of unsettling hints from Mourinho about dropping players. Smalling played both games, perhaps underlining the fact he’s as guaranteed a starter as anyone at the moment. He also made up for conceding against West Brom by scoring against Bournemouth, earning back the clean sheet points he should never have lost in the first place.

Bargain of the week – Jan Bednarek – 13 points

Drafted in by Mark Hughes to make his Southampton debut out of sheer desparation – and it paid off – if you’re a fantasy manager and you’d taken the longest punt imaginable and plonked him in your squad. Only 6,000 managers have him in their team in the world and I imagine most of them aren’t playing any more. He may appear in a few more next week as he managed a goal and a clean sheet across his double gameweek appearances. He could come in very useful come GW37 when Saints play twice again and you want to save some money.

Twat of the week – Wayne Hennessey – 0 points

One of those weeks where no-one really earned the wooden spoon award. Hennessey conceded two and picked up a yellow, so he’s the worse player you could have picked. Palace don’t really keep clean sheets, so more fool you if you thought they would in this relegation scrap against their so called derby rivals.

Goal of the week – Any Carroll. 

Another double gameweek let down – given the amount of games you’d have expected at least one screamer. This was the best of a pretty lame bunch. 2m29s

Gameweek 34 results

  same Aquamar 15
Noel Driver
74 1985
up When Harry met Alli
Trevor Gordon
68 1912
up The Craggy Islanders
Adrian Roche
77 1911
down Kebab Eaters Utd
Paul Howard
41 1887
51 1869
same Hedgehog Corpse FC
Nick Smith
53 1868
up Uriah Rennie 2nd XI
Neil Greenwood
68 1848
up FC Caligula
Ajay Supeda
57 1837
up Edgbaston
Micheal Dinneen
72 1834
10  down Biscuitmen
Chris Morton
39 1825
11  up Atlético Chappers
Richard Chapman
68 1822
12  up INIT FC
Mustafa khan
87 1811
13  up Neil Madrid
Neil Strong
65 1810
14  down Joey Bosa
Paul Bentz
31 1809
15  down Upper Bullens
Andy Taylor
51 1803
16  same Yeboah’s Right Foot
Paul Murray
54 1802
17  up Cooksters
Peter Cook
73 1800
18  down To Elland Back
Alan Hardy
37 1791
19  up Rip Roaring Reds
Sean Whyton
76 1790
20  down 4 Fuchs Ake
Jason Earwicker
55 1785
21  down Go Buffoons Go
Jitesh Lakhani
55 1782
22  up Shoelace Untied
Caroline Strong
82 1770
23  down Your Ad Here
Matthew Hopkins
51 1767
24  up Hucking Fell
P Hawkins
86 1765
42 1759
26  up greenyteamy
adam greenwood
59 1737
27  down Jarvis FC
Matt Jarvis
53 1734
28  up nO fucHs given
Paul Callaghan
56 1730
29  down Jeff Lamp’s Porsche
David Spinks
42 1728
30  down romeoshondavan
Rob Hewer
51 1722
31  same Have a little dink
Ian Williams
51 1720
32  up jetty city
scott mcgow
54 1684
33  down Release The Hounds
Paul Mitchell
41 1675
34  same 30:19
Darren Lavelle
40 1667
35  same RG XV
Ryan Garoghan
44 1657
36  same I am not Zlatan
Colin Goulding
41 1640
37  same Golden Boys
Stephanie Cripps
32 1630
38  up Ciderheads
Darren Pope
62 1627
39  down Pudding And Pie
John Seacroft
42 1614
40  same FTM
Stu Smith
68 1610
41  same Crazy Legs XI
David Caldicott
65 1596
42  up Real Jorvik
Simon Brown
86 1581
43  down Pepe Le Blue
48 1561
44  up Dj daz
darren frankland
78 1559
45  down Bakerlona
Stuart Baker
44 1556
46  same Big White Chiefs
david frankland
76 1534
47  same Bermie Utd
Glen Davies
39 1483
48  up Bish Bosh Goal
Simon Purnell
73 1481
49  down bazza 28 united
laura barrett
55 1480
50  down Pretty Schitty City
Alex Michaluk
56 1477
51  up Jarv88
Paul Jarvis
47 1400
52  down Racing Club Skegness
Andrew Swift
41 1398
53  same DJ’s Trail Blazers
Danian Jones
51 1394


Real Jorvik win the double gameweek with 86 points. They shared that score with Hucking Fell, but scored five goals to HF’s three and claim the weekly accolade. It was a double gameweek that could have delivered more. Jorvik only had two players that played twice and they only contributed 18 points. Jorvik’s best player was an elite single gameweeker. Diego Costa was handed the armband and had his best scoring week of the season amassing 16 points – 32 as captain.

In truth not all that many of us went double gameweek crazy. The managers who went for it scored in the 60’s and 70’s, but knowing an 80 point score was possible with only two double gameweekers makes you wonder whether it was worth it. Hucking Fell played four double gameweekers with a return of 53 points. They captained Beneteke, and had De Gea in goal. The United keeper returned the best of the double gameweek scores. The United defence boosted a lot of totals with their 0-0 Manc derby result. Daley Blind, Eric Bailly and Matteo Darmian all had double clean sheets. Frustratingly, Antonio Valencia, the most picked United defender, only played in one game. Watch out for Jose moaning about rotation for the next few weeks. As attractive a player Valencia is, he seems to be the one the United manager is more likely to rotate out of games.

There was a lot of investment in the Boro defence, a move which looked doomed for failure after 20 minutes against Bournemouth. At that point they were 2-0 down and a man down. They redeemed themselves against Sunderland with a 1-0 victory. And Christian Benteke was the main Palace scorer. Two goals against Liverpool helped boost the scores of those that had opted for him as captain.

The whole week was sent into a spin before it had even begun with Ibrahimovic’s injury. That forced a few managers into last minute hit taking transfers. He’s out for the season now. Marcos Rojo picked up a similar season ending injury in their Europa tie, so maybe Jose’s moans are justified. Aquamar were forced into five transfers because of the injuries, taking a 16 pint hit. They brought Rojo in only to have to transfer him out immediately. The gameweek worked out OK for them. Their overall lead was reduced by a measly 5 points as their double gameweekers contributed a useful 53 points towards their final 74 point total.


Player of the week – David De Gea – 17 points. Double gameweek goalie coming out on top.

Bargain of the week – Marc Pugh – 16 points. Single gameweek midfielder runs him close.

Donkey of the week – Oumar Niasse – -2 points. Unlucky – this card has now been rescinded.

Goal of the week – Diego Costa. Team goal alert.


Gameweek 34 preview

Bournemouth 15:00 Middlesbrough
Hull 15:00 Watford
Swansea 15:00 Stoke
West Ham 15:00 Everton
Burnley 14:15 Man Utd
Liverpool 16:30 Crystal Palace
Chelsea 19:45 Southampton
Arsenal 19:45 Leicester
Middlesbrough 19:45 Sunderland
Crystal Palace 20:00 Spurs
Man City 20:00 Man Utd

It just doesn’t seem right not handing the captaincy to a player in a team playing twice during a double gameweek. That is unless it’s the worst double gameweek of all time. This one.

Palace are virtually safe and have two fixtures against much better teams with much more to play for. Spurs are taking teams apart at the moment. Two consecutive 4-0 victories could quite easily become three by 10pm on Wednesday. Christian Benteke is one of the most infuriating and belligerent FPL strikers of all time. Despite being in double figures for goals, he’s nowhere on the bonus table. Part of the skill of picking up bonuses is being able to pass and dribble – Benteke knows how to do neither. In Novemeber he went on a three week spree accumulating 28 points. It took him 15 more gameweeks to score the same total.

Middlesbrough can’t score. Don’t score. Probably won’t score. Even against Sunderland. They’ve only won four games. Their last victory was in December. Although they do like a 0-0. So bringing in a couple of Boro defenders could be worthwhile. No, not really – next week they play Manchester City. The week after its Chelsea. Don’t lumber yourself with Middlesbrough defenders.

Manchester United – surely rich pickings there for a double gameweek. Not necessarily. Progressing in the Europa League after extra time is the second worst thing that could have happened. The worst being the likely season ending injury to Zlatan Ibrahimovic, who had made his way into many teams already ahead of this week. Even if neither of those things had happened, it’s likely their star man would have only played one game. United are rotating wildly at the moment, and will have to again. Who knows who could take the field against Burnley.

So you might as well pick Harry Kane or Romelu Lukaku. Or Phil Jagielka. This could be one of those double gameweeks in which a single gameweeker records the highest score. It’s a dilemma. I imagine most managers will have taken a look at the GW37 double gameweek and decided that was the one to wildcard for, so it’ll be interesting to see how many of us have actually been bothered to indulge this week’s fixtures.

Gameweek 34 results

Sorry. Virtually impossible for me to write a complete update this week I’m afraid. The Premier League thought it’d be a good idea to stretch this round of fixtures out to Thursday evening, giving me no time at all from the results being published to cover everything, in what has probably been the highest scoring gameweek since records began. Gameweek 31 of the 2013/14 season saw all of a 26 team Buckets League score over 100 points. Early signs are at least that amount will hit triple figures this week.

The Kolarov Mane have probably posted the highest score – a mammoth 190 points – scoring 14 goals. That makes them the current holders of the highest weekly score prize, blitzing Romeo’s 126 points from gameweek 8. What had become a two horse race for the title has now opened up to include, potentially, another four teams. Maybe more. Not forgetting there’s another one of these double gameweeks on the horizon in GW37. Who knows who might come into contention then. It’s fair to say a few team’s seasons have ended with this week’s scores as well.

Lots of chips were played to great effect. Sergio Aguero and Alexis Sanchez were the popular triple captain choices and both did the business. Aguero narrowly beat Sanchez to the highest weekly player score by a point. His 26 points is the highest of the season. Those that triple captained Aguero picked up a massive 78 points from him alone. No higher score has ever appeared against a players name for a weeks work. And there were loads of other impressive displays.

Heurelho Gomes saved two penalties and kept a clean sheet to score 19 points from Watford’s game against West Brom. He added another two points from their second fixture. That must be the highest weekly score for a keeper. Many gambled on Manchester United defenders, although not necessarily Antonio Valencia and Matteo Darmian, who added either goal, assist or bonus points to their clean sheets. Four – count them – FOUR Newcastle players posted double figure scores. Jamaal Lascelles was the bargain buy of the week. And even those that couldn’t field a team full of double gameweekers had the Tottenham express to fall back on. Harry Kane, Dele Alli and Christian Eriksen only need one game to hit double figures.

I hope to post the complete table before it disappears at the start of the next gameweek. I’ll be spending most of tomorrow urging my daughter to hurry up and get born so I can do that.


Player of the week – Sergio Aguero – 26 points. Most of which came against Chelsea, not Newcastle.

Bargain of the week – Jamaal Lascelles – 16 points. Too little too late.

Donkey of the week – Thibault Courtois – -1 points. Second red card and second time donkey.

Goal of the week – Aaron Cresswell. 


1 FC Caligula Ajay Supeda 166 2,065
2 Your Ad Here Matthew Hopkins 148 2,046
3 The Kolarov Mané Trevor Gordon 190 2,019
4 Rocky Ba Bauer P Hawkins 154 2,012
5 Shoelace Untied Caroline Strong 172 1,978
6 Golden Boys Stephanie Cripps 145 1,966
7 Edgbaston Micheal Dinneen 157 1,953
8 Game of Throw ins Darren Lavelle 147 1,946
9 Atlético Chappers Richard Chapman 108 1,934
10 Sergio Five O DEAN CRIPPS 132 1,931
11 4 Lime Jellies Ian Williams 131 1,919
12 Bicuitmen Chris Morton 137 1,894
13 JonniestaRedmondinho David Spinks 137 1,894
14 Init fc Mustafa khan 139 1,888
15 Walking with Memphis Noel Driver 112 1,881
16 SS3 FC Paul Murray 98 1,876
17 The Craggy Islanders Adrian Roche 136 1,864
18 Grievous AngelRangel Andrew Swift 67 1,861
19 scotty2hotty scott mcgow 129 1,859
20 Howayman Mark Bromham 113 1,852
21 Neil Madrid Neil Strong 156 1,848
22 Romeo’s Honda Van Rob Hewer 111 1,848
23 Pretty Schitty City Alex Michaluk 61 1,844
24 Hedgehog Corpse FC Nick Smith 90 1,838
25 Gaalacticos Colin Goulding 91 1,828
26 Uriah Rennie 2nd XI Neil Greenwood 111 1,816
27 Bermie Utd Glen Davies 115 1,809
28 greensmeansbusiness adam greenwood 70 1,804
29 Panza Grande XI Stuart Baker 101 1,787
30 Below Par Paul Bentz 82 1,775
31 Rip Roaring Reds Sean Whyton 138 1,757
32 The Hardy Boys Alan Hardy 86 1,739
34 The Mindless Morons John Seacroft 114 1,721
35 Sweet Cherry Pie Jason Earwicker 117 1,713
36 Upper Bullens Andy Taylor 52 1,700
37 Release The Hounds Paul Mitchell 79 1,684
38 Baker Bum Boys Lewis Baker 49 1,628
39 Go Buffoons Go!!! Jitesh Lakhani 118 1,621
40 Crazy Legs XI David Caldicott 105 1,616
41 Ciderheads Darren Pope 107 1,608
42 Bish Bosh Goal Simon Purnell 61 1,427
43 REAL JORVIK Simon Brown 120 1,407
44 BrussiaHairbach Alex Ritchie 68 1,288


There you go – all a bit back to front this weekend. The site says that it’s still updating – I guess there’s a lot to update. Although I’m pretty sure this table is correct. We’ve 30 teams that have made it passed 100 points.

I might have jumped the gun on suggesting it was more than a two horse race. Caligula and Your Ad Here still look the most likely winners. Rocky Ba Bauer had taken over at the top by end of play on Sunday. Caligula and YAH’s Arsenal contingent came good on Thursday evening to propel them back out in front. The Kolarov Mane have hit their highest position. They have the momentum. They’re way out in front in the April manager of the month race. Shoelace posted the second highest score and find themselves in their highest league position just at the right time. It was a bad week for Atletico Chappers who have dropped out of contention, and GrievousAngelRangel, who were 40 points behind fourth place last week, but only managed 67 points this week to fall 140 points behind.