Season review

May 14, 2018

1  same The Vinegar Pissers
P Hawkins
84 2289
2  same Nashton Villa
Jaime Nash
65 2253
3  same Edgbaston
Micheal Dinneen
67 2251
4  same Despicable Mee
Trevor Gordon
67 2250
5  same FC Caligula
Ajay Supeda
86 2245
6  same The Craggy Islanders
Adrian Roche
65 2216
7  same Hornets
Andrew Wade
76 2215
8  up INIT FC
Mustafa khan
74 2193
9  down Brexiter City
Colin Goulding
52 2184
10  up It’sOnlyAGameFarke!
David Spinks
66 2156
11  up Rico united
JASON REACHER
71 2155
12  up The winnings R mine
david bruce
71 2148
13  down greenyteamy
adam greenwood
51 2139
14  down Fun Lovren Criminals
Paul Callaghan
34 2134
15  up Game of Throw-Ins
Ryan Garoghan
73 2133
16  same Queen of the north
DORINE REACHER
55 2125
17  down Emergency Gap Jumper
Ian Williams
54 2125
18  same Kebab Eaters Utd
Paul Howard
60 2108
19  same Pure Buffoonery!
Jitesh Lakhani
54 2103
20  up We are Ayling
Paul Murray
68 2095
21  up Your Ad Here
Matthew Hopkins
88 2094
22  up Gotta Light?
Andrew Swift
66 2089
23  down Shoelace Untied
Caroline Strong
53 2089
24  down Klopp of the Pochs
Jason Earwicker
58 2082
25  down Rip Roaring Reds
Sean Whyton
48 2078
26  down Atlético Chappers
Richard Chapman
55 2073
27  up Flying squad
Matt Jarvis
87 2072
28  up Pretty Schitty City
Alex Michaluk
85 2065
29  down To Elland Back
Alan Hardy
69 2061
30  up Neil Madrid
Neil Strong
84 2061
31  down Golden Boys
Stephanie Cripps
55 2052
32  up King Dunlap
Paul Bentz
80 2050
33  same mrs mcgoo
laura barrett
70 2048
34  down Aquamar 1564
Noel Driver
43 2035
35  same Crazylegs XI
David Caldicott
57 2021
36  same blakes11
Steven Darling
54 1998
37  same musttryharder FC
Paul Telford
52 1995
38  same Kompany & Co
DEAN CRIPPS
58 1983
39  same FTM
Stu Smith
55 1980
40  up Jarv88
Paul Jarvis
85 1918
41  down iamgroot
scott mcgow
56 1903
42  up romeoshondavan
Rob Hewer
66 1898
43  up Upper Bullens
Andy Taylor
69 1896
44  down cookster fc
Peter Cook
50 1895
45  same disco dancer
darren frankland
61 1879
46  same Pudding And Pie
John Seacroft
52 1848
47  same Bakerlona FC
Stuart Baker
59 1829
48  same Release The Hounds
Paul Mitchell
50 1799
49  same Real Jorvik
Simon Brown
50 1752
50  same Biscuitmen
Chris Morton
71 1653

 

Winners – The Vinegar Pissers 

The third manager to pick up their second title scoring the second highest finishing total. The Vinegar Pissers only spent six weeks outside of our top 10, first taking root in GW5. They did drop to the depths of 11th and 12th, before permanently floating around 6th until gameweek 29, when a manager of the week performance saw them rise to third. Then GW31 – only four games – but a Mohamed Salah masterclass and everybody’s posting 100+ totals and challenging for the highest weekly score prize. The VP’s kicked arse with 124 points from eight players, 58 of which came from Salah. That put them at the top of the league and that’s where they stayed – and in truth, no-one really got that close to them. Congratulations to the Pissers. They got as high as 8,202nd in the world, never took more than a four point hit, played their triple captain and bench boost in the run in and utilised their free hit well, picking up a good score with it and a green arrow just before Christmas. Interestingly, they played their wildcards at almost the earliest possibly opportunity on both occasions. Proving that there is still no logic to this game and it’s all complete luck.

Runners up – Nashton Villa, Edgbaston and Despicable Mee 

Our Champions League qualifiers all had similar seasons, making their surge into the top ten and then the top four at around the same time. It was during March that they all lost ground on the VPs and were left desperately trying to claw back the points lost during gameweeks 29 and 31 – the two weeks that definitely won the VP’s that manager of the month, and arguably won them the league. It was a superb debut season for Nashton who reached their highest worldwide position after GW37, but were unable to continue the rise and challenge for the top spot. They would have had to surpass the 100 point mark in GW38 to knock our champions off their perch.

Edgbaston have finally crept into our top four after two consecutive 5th place finishes, despite finishing lower in the world rankings than in both of their last two attempts. And fourth placed Despicable Mee are regressing. Two consecutive runners up placings and now fourth place. Once always the bridesmaid – now a distant uncle only invited because they had a space to fill. In all seriousness – if one of these two doesn’t win this title soon, I’d be very surprised.

The rest

There were valiant efforts by two former champs who just ran out of steam at the last knockings – FC Caligula and The Craggy Islanders finished 5th and 6th respectively. We’re sure to see them in the running next season. Hornets, a total rookie FPL debutant, who were top every week bar three between gameweeks 2 and 29, finished in a respectable 7th. By gameweek 16 they had climbed to 1,663rd in the world, as high (possibly) as any Buckets manager has been, but they peaked too early. Better understanding of the chips and when to play them might serve them better next season. The rest of us – probably got stung by Harry Kane once too often, and only realised when it was too late that they should have had Mo Salah as captain EVERY WEEK.

The awards

We had more managers of the week scoring 100+ scores than in any previous season. The Vinegar Pissers’ 124 point score was the second highest weekly winning score, but falls way behind their own record set in the 2013-2014 season when they managed 165 points in a week in which virtually everybody passed the 100 point barrier following a mammoth double gameweek. That same season produced the highest winning finishing score in our league of 2356 points. Despite there being more 100+ weekly winners in this season, The VPs finished 67 points behind that total. It’s worth noting that the 124 points scored in GW31 was done so from only four games. Another thirteen of our fifty teams passed the century mark that week. And most of them were only fielding bit part teams.

We had ten different managers of the month, six managers taking two weekly accolades, but only one, The bloody Vinegar Pissers, managing three highest weekly scores. Shoelace Untied took the December prize, accumulating 477 points for the month – the highest ever monthly total.

The players

We may have fallen just short of breaking our manager records this season, but the reason we got so close was largely due to one player – Mohamed Salah. He became the first player to pass 300 points for the season. No-one else came close – which may explain why we didn’t quite eclipse the higher scores from four years ago. Back then, in the ‘Suarez’ season, there was a great supporting cast, with the likes of Daniel Sturridge, Steven Gerrard, Raheem Sterling, Robin Van Persie, Yaya Toure and Eden Hazard all scoring big, playing consistently and featuring in a lot of teams. This season only Harry Kane, Sterling and Kevin De Bruyne passed the 200 point mark. Despite Kane running Salah (fairly) close in the golden boot chase, he was still close to 100 points behind. Which says more about the frustrating, annoying, inconsistent, trolling season the Spurs striker had. Nowt for weeks then just when you get sick of it all three frickin’ hat tricks…or whatever it was. Dickhead. Still – he’ll be in from the start next season.

Kane picked up more player of the week awards (three) than anyone else. Salah, who only scored more than anyone else once throughout the whole season, was much more consistent. A goal every week rather than three and a gap. And lets mention GW31 again – 29 points – the highest ever single match gameweek score. Sergio Aguero, Heung-Min Son and Marko Arnautovic were the only other players to get two player of the week awards. Tottenham won the award six times ahead of Chelsea with five, and then perhaps surprisingly, Manchester City, with only four winners. Ayoze Perez, Federico Fernandez and Callum Wilson showed up on the bargain list more than once and Newcastle appeared to be the best go-to cheapo team, winning the award five times over the course of the season. Watford were king of the twats offering up six ‘worst of the week’, with Jose Holebas winning the award twice. Jack Stephens also won it twice – and in consecutive weeks, so well done to him. Manchester City did dominate the goal of the week contenders with eight wins, but anyone who tells you that Jamie Vardy’s over the shoulder volley against West Brom in GW30 isn’t the goal of the season, is some kind of goon.

Debatable team of the season

  • GK – David De Gea – 172 points

No arguments here, although Lorus Karius did pick up more points per match of all keepers playing more than 10 games. Karius and Mignolet played half a season each – 19 games a piece. Mignolet scored on average 1.1 points per game less and kept three less clean sheets – although still 7 out of 19 which is pretty respectable.

  • DR – Cesar Azpilicueta – 175 points
  • DL – Marcos Alonso – 165 points
  • DC – Nicolas Otamendi – 156 points
  • DC – Jan Vertonghen – 138 points

Antonio Valencia, Ben Davies and Kyle Walker all scored more than Vertonghen, but none are central defenders. In the favoured three at the back, you’d probably have to drop Alonso. He hasn’t scored enough to warrant his usual left wing back position ahead of the highest scoring midfielders either…coming up next. Andrew Robertson missed 16 games and Phil Jones missed 15 games, but both beat all of the above, other than Alonso, in points per game. Jones managed 15 clean sheets in his 23 games. Basically – if he didn’t play – United usually conceded.

  • DM – Luca Milivojevic – 144 points
  • CM – Kevin De Bruyne – 209 points
  • AM – Mohamed Salah – 303 points
  • AM – Raheem Sterling – 229 points
  • AM – Christian Eriksen – 199 points

Obviously, this is where it all gets a bit ‘debatable’. No real team is complete without some kind of defensive holding player, so when you see the PFA team of the year, and it’s basically a goalkeeper and 10 attackers, you do wonder if they ever really watch the game. But then if you were going to stick a defensive midfielder in there, you wouldn’t necessarily be basing their inclusion on their fantasy points total, seeing as how nothing they do is ever taken into consideration when the scores are totted up. You’d just pick N’Golo Kante and move on wouldn’t you? Milivojevic is definitely worth a mention though. Arguably the most reliable penalty taker in the league, double figures for goals and in the top 10 for bonuses.

  • CF – Harry Kane – 217 points

His best goalscoring season but not his his best fantasy season. Too many braces and hat tricks, if their can be such a thing, and not enough consistency. Kane would go missing for weeks, but then burst back into life racking up the highest bonus score too. It was all about catching him on a good day. He blanked in 19 gameweeks – half a season. Salah failed to score anything other than appearance points in only 10 games. Aguero, and latterly, Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang, finished the season with more points per match. There’s your front three for August.

 

 

Player awards

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Gameweek 34 results

April 20, 2018

1  same The Vinegar Pissers
P Hawkins
106 2069
2  up The Craggy Islanders
Adrian Roche
107 2008
3  down Hornets
Andrew Wade
74 1985
4  up Despicable Mee
Trevor Gordon
91 1984
5  down Nashton Villa
Jaime Nash
76 1982
6  down Brexiter City
Colin Goulding
81 1981
7  same FC Caligula
Ajay Supeda
105 1980
8  same Edgbaston
Micheal Dinneen
99 1969
9  up greenyteamy
adam greenwood
78 1940
10  up INIT FC
Mustafa khan
112 1938
11  down Emergency Gap Jumper
Ian Williams
69 1933
12  same Fun Lovren Criminals
Paul Callaghan
83 1928
13  same The winnings R mine
david bruce
80 1925
14  down Game of Throw-Ins
Ryan Garoghan
65 1922
15  down Queen of the north
DORINE REACHER
82 1916
16  down Rico united
JASON REACHER
83 1908
17  same Rip Roaring Reds
Sean Whyton
63 1889
18  up Kebab Eaters Utd
Paul Howard
113 1885
19  same We are Ayling
Paul Murray
93 1882
20  same It’sOnlyAGameFarke!
David Spinks
73 1879
21  down Gotta Light?
Andrew Swift
57 1872
22  same Shoelace Untied
Caroline Strong
72 1870
23  down Atlético Chappers
Richard Chapman
74 1866
24  down Golden Boys
Stephanie Cripps
73 1852
25  same Flying squad
Matt Jarvis
83 1845
26  same Aquamar 1564
Noel Driver
81 1837
27  down Pure Buffoonery!
Jitesh Lakhani
89 1837
28  up To Elland Back
Alan Hardy
91 1834
29  same Klopp of the Pochs
Jason Earwicker
75 1823
30  down Your Ad Here
Matthew Hopkins
64 1818
31  up Neil Madrid
Neil Strong
82 1812
32  up Kompany & Co
DEAN CRIPPS
75 1807
33  up mrs mcgoo
laura barrett
70 1800
34  down Crazylegs XI
David Caldicott
56 1799
35  down Pretty Schitty City
Alex Michaluk
52 1797
36  same musttryharder FC
Paul Telford
64 1791
37  same FTM
Stu Smith
73 1785
38  same King Dunlap
Paul Bentz
93 1783
39  same blakes11
Steven Darling
80 1757
40  up cookster fc
Peter Cook
68 1717
41  up Jarv88
Paul Jarvis
73 1707
42  down iamgroot
scott mcgow
54 1705
43  up romeoshondavan
Rob Hewer
78 1693
44  down Upper Bullens
Andy Taylor
49 1687
45  same Pudding And Pie
John Seacroft
82 1672
46  same Bakerlona FC
Stuart Baker
69 1648
47  same disco dancer
darren frankland
90 1645
48  same Real Jorvik
Simon Brown
61 1572
49  same Release The Hounds
Paul Mitchell
72 1552
50  same Biscuitmen
Chris Morton
73 1449

 

Manager of the week – Kebab Eaters United – Paul Howard – 113 points

Only five 100+ scores in what was an underwhelming double gameweek. The highest scorers averaged not much more than what you’d expect from a single gameweek; and rotation, as it always does, reared it’s annoying, ugly head. Most managers played the week as best they could, utilising their bench boosts and triple captains, and most topped the worldwide average of 64 points, which is the highest of the season so far. The best Buckets team were the Kebab Eaters. Their 113 points was enough to climb them six places and within sight of the top 10. They bench boosted with Chris Smalling, Pascal Gross, Romelu Lukaku and Luca Milivojevic all among their XV.

The Vinegar Pissers stretched their lead at the top to 61 points and have gone top 10,000 in the world. They also topped the century mark. As did The Craggy Islanders, who are now in second, and FC Caligula, who now sit seventh. And like a Grand National finish, the favourites are taking their positions and getting ready to pounce in the final furlongs. Despicable Mee also rose another two places into fourth. The chipless Hornets dropped to third but did well not to lose too much ground and still post a respectable 74 points. Both Nashton and Brexiter, who didn’t use a chip this week, also scored well and despite dropping places aren’t out of the race. They do have one chip left each – their bench boost – surely lined up for GW37. The VPs, the Islanders and Despicable all have their triple captain remaining. But keep an eye on Caligula. They still have their free hit, probably primed for the upcoming week, and their triple captain, again no doubt ready for GW37. Some teams may be a player or two short for the coming week’s reduced schedule – Caligula can pick who they want.

Player of the week – Chris Smalling – 16 points

Man United defenders were always likely to be well positioned to score highly this week with two fixtures against West Brom and Bournemouth. It didn’t start well with a 1-0 loss to the bottom club. That prompted all kinds of unsettling hints from Mourinho about dropping players. Smalling played both games, perhaps underlining the fact he’s as guaranteed a starter as anyone at the moment. He also made up for conceding against West Brom by scoring against Bournemouth, earning back the clean sheet points he should never have lost in the first place.

Bargain of the week – Jan Bednarek – 13 points

Drafted in by Mark Hughes to make his Southampton debut out of sheer desparation – and it paid off – if you’re a fantasy manager and you’d taken the longest punt imaginable and plonked him in your squad. Only 6,000 managers have him in their team in the world and I imagine most of them aren’t playing any more. He may appear in a few more next week as he managed a goal and a clean sheet across his double gameweek appearances. He could come in very useful come GW37 when Saints play twice again and you want to save some money.

Twat of the week – Wayne Hennessey – 0 points

One of those weeks where no-one really earned the wooden spoon award. Hennessey conceded two and picked up a yellow, so he’s the worse player you could have picked. Palace don’t really keep clean sheets, so more fool you if you thought they would in this relegation scrap against their so called derby rivals.

Goal of the week – Any Carroll. 

Another double gameweek let down – given the amount of games you’d have expected at least one screamer. This was the best of a pretty lame bunch. 2m29s

Gameweek 13 results

November 28, 2017

1  same Hornets
Andrew Wade
53 791
2  up Fun Lovren Criminals
Paul Callaghan
62 765
3  up Despicable Mee
Trevor Gordon
65 748
4  down Gotta Light?
Andrew Swift
35 745
5  down greenyteamy
adam greenwood
49 737
6  same Kompany & Co
DEAN CRIPPS
44 726
7  up Brexiter City
Colin Goulding
60 718
8  same The Vinegar Pissers
P Hawkins
46 717
9  up INIT FC
Mustafa khan
54 717
10  up Edgbaston
Micheal Dinneen
64 715
11  down The winnings R mine
david bruce
33 709
12  up The Craggy Islanders
Adrian Roche
66 706
13  down Rip Roaring Reds
Sean Whyton
36 701
14  down Crazylegs XI
David Caldicott
44 699
15  down Neil Madrid
Neil Strong
34 699
16  same Nashton Villa
Jaime Nash
53 698
17  same It’sOnlyAGameFarke!
David Spinks
47 689
18  up Atlético Chappers
Richard Chapman
59 689
19  up King Dunlap
Paul Bentz
54 674
20  up Queen of the north
DORINE REACHER
62 673
21  down Rico united
JASON REACHER
38 673
22  down Golden Boys
Stephanie Cripps
45 671
23  up Jarv88
Paul Jarvis
52 664
24  up FC Caligula
Ajay Supeda
48 662
25  down musttryharder FC
Paul Telford
35 660
26  down Flying squad
Matt Jarvis
41 657
27  down Aquamar 1564
Noel Driver
34 657
28  down Game of Throw-Ins
Ryan Garoghan
40 656
29  same Pretty Schitty City
Alex Michaluk
49 654
30  same Klopp of the Pochs
Jason Earwicker
53 654
31  up Your Ad Here
Matthew Hopkins
57 649
31  same romeoshondavan
Rob Hewer
50 649
33  down Pure Buffoonery!
Jitesh Lakhani
51 648
34  down cookster fc
Peter Cook
49 645
35  up We are Ayling
Paul Murray
50 642
36  up mrs mcgoo
laura barrett
51 642
37  up Upper Bullens
Andy Taylor
52 637
38  up Real Jorvik
Simon Brown
56 635
39  same To Elland Back
Alan Hardy
48 634
40  down Bakerlona FC
Stuart Baker
34 628
41  up FTM
Stu Smith
48 628
42  down Release The Hounds
Paul Mitchell
31 626
43  down Kebab Eaters Utd
Paul Howard
34 620
44  same Shoelace Untied
Caroline Strong
58 614
45  up Emergency Gap Jumper
Ian Williams
66 598
46  up iamgroot
scott mcgow
51 593
47  down Pudding And Pie
John Seacroft
37 592
48  down blakes11
Steven Darling
36 585
49  same disco dancer
darren frankland
52 549
50  same Biscuitmen
Chris Morton
41 486

 

Manager of the week – Ian Williams – Emergency Gap Jumper – 66 points

Two managers finished the week on 66 points but it was the Emergency Gap Jumpers who claim the weekly honours by virtue of scoring one more goal than The Craggy Islanders. Their four goals came from Mohamed Salah, Raheem Sterling, Sergio Aguero and Harry Kane – who, in the week when the majority ditched him as their go to captain, finally came good. Neither team have put themselves into contention for the November manager of the month. That still looks like a race between Greenyteamy and Nashton Villa, although a strong gameweek from Atletico Chappers has moved them to within striking distance.

1  same greenyteamy
adam greenwood
49 220
2  same Nashton Villa
Jaime Nash
53 215
3  up Atlético Chappers
Richard Chapman
59 202
4  down mrs mcgoo
laura barrett
51 196
5  same Fun Lovren Criminals
Paul Callaghan
62 191

At the top of the overall league, Hornets remain the team to catch – as they have done all season. The gap back to Fun Lovren Criminals stands at 34 points. Last year’s runners up, Despicable Mee, since gameweek 8, have moved from 19th to 15th to 11th to 8th to 5th – and now into third – and look set for another title challenge.

Player of the week – Marvin Zeegelaar – 14 points

Assisted two of Watford’s goals against Newcastle in only his second appearance for the club. He didn’t have a bad first week either getting clean sheet and bonus points in the victory over West Ham. There are lots of temptingly cheap Watford options springing up at the moment. Last week, Will Hughes, in only his second start, almost took the bargain award, and he added another eight points to his total this week. Interestingly, Watford have scored at least twice in every away game they’ve played this season. And I bet most managers would back the home defence for a clean sheet against them in most weeks. Don’t.

Bargain of the week – Charlie Austin – 13 points

There was little action on the striker front this week with only Austin bagging more than one goal. It’s his first start of the season after having only made a few minutes worth of substitute appearances in recent weeks. Saints had only scored four goals from open play before the weekend. If Austin can steer clear of the treatment room and cement a starting berth he should add to that total.

Twat of the week – Rajiv Van La Parra – -1 points

Waited until after the final whistle to engage in a bit of handbags with Leroy Sane, who can probably consider himself fortunate not to have a similar ban looming. With the amount of big point scoring midfielders active in the game at the moment we could do with the odd ban and/or injury being thrown in just to narrow down the choices a little bit.

Goal of the week – Xherdan Shaqiri.

Usually pops up with a few wonder goals per season (and little else). No vid though?!

1  same Hornets
Andrew Wade
47 623
2  up Gotta Light?
Andrew Swift
58 582
3  up The winnings R mine
david bruce
65 578
4  down The Vinegar Pissers
P Hawkins
42 576
5  same Rip Roaring Reds
Sean Whyton
48 575
6  down Fun Lovren Criminals
Paul Callaghan
43 574
7  down Kompany & Co
DEAN CRIPPS
30 573
8  up Neil Madrid
Neil Strong
73 568
9  down The Craggy Islanders
Adrian Roche
47 566
10  down INIT FC
Mustafa khan
54 562
11  up Despicable Mee
Trevor Gordon
68 561
12  same Crazylegs XI
David Caldicott
51 553
13  down It’sOnlyAGameFarke!
David Spinks
42 545
14  up Brexiter City
Colin Goulding
54 542
15  up musttryharder FC
Paul Telford
65 540
15  down Jarv88
Paul Jarvis
40 540
17  down King Dunlap
Paul Bentz
39 538
18  up Flying squad
Matt Jarvis
58 538
19  up Queen of the north
DORINE REACHER
55 537
20  down Edgbaston
Micheal Dinneen
55 537
21  down Bakerlona FC
Stuart Baker
35 522
22  up Rico united
JASON REACHER
61 519
23  same Game of Throw-Ins
Ryan Garoghan
42 519
24  up greenyteamy
adam greenwood
70 517
25  up FC Caligula
Ajay Supeda
65 516
26  down FTM
Stu Smith
48 514
27  same Real Jorvik
Simon Brown
44 509
28  down Klopp of the Pochs
Jason Earwicker
24 509
29  down Aquamar 1564
Noel Driver
45 504
30  down Golden Boys
Stephanie Cripps
24 503
31  down Kebab Eaters Utd
Paul Howard
36 503
32  down To Elland Back
Alan Hardy
45 501
33  up Pure Buffoonery!
Jitesh Lakhani
51 495
34  up Pretty Schitty City
Alex Michaluk
75 493
35  down Upper Bullens
Andy Taylor
27 489
36  down romeoshondavan
Rob Hewer
48 487
37  up Atlético Chappers
Richard Chapman
52 487
38  down Nashton Villa
Jaime Nash
36 483
39  same Your Ad Here
Matthew Hopkins
47 482
40  up Release The Hounds
Paul Mitchell
52 480
41  down We are Ayling
Paul Murray
38 477
42  down cookster fc
Peter Cook
42 472
43  down disco dancer
darren frankland
42 463
44  up Pudding And Pie
John Seacroft
45 461
45  down Shoelace Untied
Caroline Strong
41 460
46  same mrs mcgoo
laura barrett
45 446
47  same Emergency Gap Jumper
Ian Williams
45 436
48  same blakes11
Steven Darling
46 432
49  same iamgroot
scott mcgow
45 423
50  same Biscuitmen
Chris Morton
37 363

 

Manager of the month – The Craggy Islanders – 189 points

The Islanders played their free hit this week, possibly spying a good group of fixtures with which to rack up a decent amount of points. And to consolidate their lead at the top of the monthly rankings and guarantee them the monthly award. Or was it just find a solution to the Kane absence? I’m not sure the chip had its full effect with only one of the chosen XI getting into double figures, but the lead was held and the money was won.

1  same The Craggy Islanders
Adrian Roche
47 189
2  up Despicable Mee
Trevor Gordon
68 178
3  up Gotta Light?
Andrew Swift
58 174
4  down Rip Roaring Reds
Sean Whyton
48 174
5  down Game of Throw-Ins
Ryan Garoghan
42 172

 

Manager of the week – Pretty Schitty City – 75 points

A strong defence and a timely substitution helped City to the top score. Harry Kane was in the starting XI despite the confirmed reports of his injury. That might be an indicator of the complete lack of trust we have in the Spurs striker at the moment. Steven Davis was lined up as first reserve and took his place to the tune of 10 points.

Player of the week – Saed Kolasinac – 14 points

This has been coming. Arsenal defenders have been quietly racking up points without looking all that convincing. No clean sheet this week but a goal and assist from the player most likely to be this season’s Marcos Alonso…unless of course that turns out to be Marcos Alonso.

Bargain of the week – Fernandinho – 13 points

Those wondering how to squeeze a third Man City player in should look no further. Two assists and two goals is more than your average holding midfielder gets in a season.

Twat of the week – Arthur Masuaku -1 points

Thats what you get for conceding goals against Palace.

Goal of the week – Andre Ayew.

From 1m32s

End of season results

May 23, 2017

up The Craggy Islanders
Adrian Roche
85 2315
down When Harry met Alli
Trevor Gordon
80 2312
same Aquamar 15
Noel Driver
77 2274
up Kebab Eaters Utd
Paul Howard
110 2255

The Craggy Islanders are our champions. By three points. I think that might be our closest finish yet. It was looking at one point, before the bonuses came in, that it might end up being a tie. I’m glad it wasn’t. I didn’t fancy the season long count back of goals scored. The Islanders won the last weekly battle 85 to 80 – the five point gap enough to take over at the top. WHMA played the All Out Attack, but to no avail. It wouldn’t have made a difference had they not bothered.

The Islanders started this season as our first manager of the week and then spent most of the next three months coming and going, in and out of the top 10. They hit a century in gameweek 14 climbing back to the summit. From that moment on they never left the top four, clinging on to first for six weeks between 16 and 22, and then next appearing in top spot when it really mattered – gameweek 38.

Meaning When Harry Met Alli must settle for second place for the second successive year. They were always in the mix. They never dropped out of the top 10 but for one week in December. From the turn of the year they took up residence in the top four and never fell below that. They were at the head of the group of teams trying to peg back Aquamar through the last third of the season, managing to take the lead in gameweek 37. Perhaps their decision to play their bench boost a week earlier than The Islanders cost them the title. We’ll never know.

And we’ll never know whether Aquamar’s itchy transfer finger cost them the top prize. Sitting in the top 3,000 worldwide in gameweek 32 with an 80 point lead over their nearest Buckets challenger, they went on a complete transfer bender making 19 in the last six weeks. Not having Harry Kane to play out the final two weeks, however, was probably the biggest handicap. It was a season of what might have been for Aquamar, also finishing runners-up in the Buckets Cup to Shoelace Untied.

Fourth place was a battle to the death with five or so teams continuously changing places over the closing two months of the season. Kebab Eaters United eventually pipped Edgbaston to the last cash prize. Edgbaston finished fifth last year too, but do take home the prize for the May manager of the month and the highest weekly score – a record breaking 181 points in gameweek 37.

Shoelace ploughed all of their energy into winning the cup, taking 76 points worth of hits across three gameweeks in order to outscore their opponents. Curiously, they also climbed the table, proving that taking hits doesn’t necessarily always cost you points. As long as you bring in the right players. It’s not a tactic I’d suggest playing across an entire season.

Rico United were double month winners and Yeboah’s Right Foot won manager of the week more than anyone else, coming out on top four times. That’s probably pretty impressive in a 53 team league. The record still stands at seven in a 26 team league.

Alexis Sanchez topped the player charts by some distance, although had Harry Kane played out a full season, it’s probable he’d have collected more points. He finished joint third with Eden Hazard, and just behind Dele Alli, but missed eight games with injury. Tom Heaton was the top goalkeeper. He kept ten clean sheets, and headed both the saves made and bonus points tables to finish ahead of Hugo Lloris and Thibault Courtois. The Chelsea defence ruled. No-one got close to Cahill, Alonso and Azpilicueta. Kane, Hazard, Kevin De Bruyne and Romelu Lukaku topped the bonus charts, all scoring 33. Marcos Alonso’s value rose the most over the course of the season, £0.9 million to £6.9 million.

Picking a bargain buy of the season hasn’t been as easy as last year when we had so many Leicester players to choose from. West Brom’s second top scorer, Gareth McAuley, deserves a mention. The 804 year old defender started as a £4.5 million back up in many teams but probably lasted the distance thanks to his steady return of goals and clean sheets – up until the point that West Brom reached 40 points and they got the holiday brochures out. Josh King’s second half of the season was as prolific as any of the elite forward players in the league. Only Sanchez and Alli scored more from midfield. From gameweek 20 onwards he contributed in 13 of the 18 games he played in. Expect a position change and starting price rise for next season.

See you then.

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