1  same Neil Madrid
Neil Strong
63 898
2  same But Da Pitch Ain’t 1
Trev Reams
65 895
3  same Perfidious Albion
Andrew Swift
48 869
4  same The Craggy Islanders
Adrian Roche
61 862
5  up Thelma and Luiz
Trevor Gordon
63 830
6  up Edgbaston
Micheal Dinneen
65 826
7  down Game of Stones
Ryan Garoghan
45 824
8  up SLABHEAD FC
Adam Burnett
62 823
9  down Cookie fc
Peter Cook
52 821
10  down Upper Bullens
Andy Taylor
48 821
11  down FC Caligula
Ajay Supeda
53 819
12  same Deeney in a Bottle
Stephanie Cripps
54 812
13  up FTM
Stu Smith
76 807
14  down Bielsa Ringing
Alan Hardy
51 802
15  same King raggg
Steven Darling
57 798
16  up Frostee Rucker
Paul Bentz
63 790
17  up Your Ad Here
Matthew Hopkins
52 790
18  down Shoelace Untied
Caroline Strong
55 787
19  down Need son luck
Matt Jarvis
51 785
20  down RICO UNITED
JASON REACHER
34 782
21  up INIT FC
Mustafa khan
65 782
22  down Pretty Schitty City
Alex Michaluk
56 776
23  down Musttryharder fc
Paul Telford
53 773
24  up Hoose Reus
James Whitfield
73 761
25  same Nashton Villa
Jaime Nash
49 754
26  up Mour Salt and Pep
Noel Driver
54 753
27  down Kompany & Co
DEAN CRIPPS
44 752
28  down Morningblues
Jeff Morning
30 733
29  down Crazy Leg XI
David Caldicott
44 732
30  up Pique Blinders
Colin Goulding
59 730
31  same romeoshondavan
Rob Hewer
50 730
32  same QUEEN OF THE NORTH
DORINE REACHER
56 729
33  down Aribo Haribo
Paul Hawkins
45 726
34  up PenshawPerformers
david bruce
59 724
35  same Rip Roaring Reds
Sean Whyton
55 719
36  up Fake Madrid
Andrew Wade
53 715
37  down The Big Lewandowski
Paul Callaghan
39 711
38  up Salah Buffoon!!!
Jitesh Lakhani
54 708
39  down Dinamo Spinks
David Spinks
46 703
40  same Dropit like its Hart
Jason Earwicker
47 699
41  same Real Jorvik
Simon Brown
43 689
42  up ClipityKlopptotitle
tanya thursby
58 688
43  down El Loco No Joko
Paul Murray
46 680
44  same Kebab Eaters Utd
Paul Howard
42 670
45  same Hemel Hotspurs
Paul Jarvis
51 664
46  up Greeeenteeam
adam greenwood
47 650
47  down Puddle Splash Van
Ian Williams
46 648
48  down It’s coming home
scott mcgow
50 642
49  same Atlético Chappers
Richard Chapman
56 617
50  up Ross’s champions
darren frankland
71 594
51  down The Mindless Morons
John Seacroft
46 590

 

November Manager of the month – Neil Madrid – Neil Strong – 272 points

Madrid were in fourth at the start of the month, 60 or so points adrift of the top. They now occupy the number one position, having clawed back that gap to take the prize for November. Swapping and off-the-boil Hazard for Raheem Sterling at the point the City man went fantasy nuts was surely the key. Madrid have posted five consecutive green arrow scores that has seen them rise from 196,000 to 13,000 overall. Check me out.

1  same Neil Madrid
Neil Strong
63 272
2  same The Craggy Islanders
Adrian Roche
61 263
3  up FTM
Stu Smith
76 256
4  same Your Ad Here
Matthew Hopkins
52 242
5  down Shoelace Untied
Caroline Strong
55 240

 

Manager of the week – FTM – Stu Smith – 76 points

FTM’s second week winning score in three wasn’t quite enough to push them to the summit of the monthly table, being let down arguably by their GW13 score. Nevertheless, they have climbed from 22nd to the outskirts of the top 10 and look set to push on through December. FTM are loving West Ham right now. Ahead of their favourable run of fixtures they picked up 15 points from Marko Arnautovic and Felipe Anderson. As with many teams, Sterling became default captain through Aguero’s absence, and a five man defence, also popular this week, propspered to he tune of 35 points. Only Jose Holebas failed to deliver a clean sheet.

Player of the week – Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang – Arsenal – 16 points

Maybe game of the season. Maybe the best Arsenal have played in a decade. And as Raheem Sterling became the first player to pass the 100 point barrier, PEA hit his 9th and 10th goals of the season to move within nine points of the same target. Aubameyang comes into serious contention now, particularly with an injury to Sergio Aguero, Liverpool relying on Divock Origi, inevitable City rotation, and no-one quite sure whether Harry Kane is paying well or not. Spurs’ run of fixtures into February could result in a period of heavy scoring for the England captain. Arsenal’s, on paper, don’t look as easy, but their star striker looks capable of scoring past anyone at any time. His overall Premier League record is 20 goals in 27 appearances. With 23 matches of the season remaining, there’s a strong possibility he’ll get close to the 30 goal mark. Why would you want to miss out on all that?

Bargain of the week – Javier Hernandez – West Ham United – 13 points

Somewhat of an unexpected result, but one that should alert fantasy bosses to the potential value of one or two West Ham assets in their team. Hernandez may not start every week however, so maybe steering towards Arnautovic or Anderson would reap more rewards. West Ham don’t play a top six team again until GW22.

Twat of the week – Jan Vertonghen – Tottenham Hotspur – -3 points

The game started boiling over in the first half so there was a certain inevitability about a red card being dished out at some point. Vertonghen conceded the penalty and looked rattled throughout until he finally lost it after Arsenal had bagged their 4th goal. Despite the aforementioned fixture swing in favour of Spurs, I wouldn’t go anywhere near any of these defenders.

Goal of the week – Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang. 1m14s in. This game had it all.

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Gameweek 9 results

October 23, 2018

1  same But Da Pitch Ain’t 1
Trev Reams
53 621
2  same Perfidious Albion
Andrew Swift
41 598
3  up Cookie fc
Peter Cook
57 562
4  same Game of Stones
Ryan Garoghan
42 549
5  same SLABHEAD FC
Adam Burnett
42 549
6  down Neil Madrid
Neil Strong
33 539
7  down Thelma and Luiz
Trevor Gordon
32 539
8  down King raggg
Steven Darling
36 539
9  same Deeney in a Bottle
Stephanie Cripps
39 533
10  up FC Caligula
Ajay Supeda
40 531
11  down Edgbaston
Micheal Dinneen
38 529
12  up RICO UNITED
JASON REACHER
65 524
13  same The Craggy Islanders
Adrian Roche
42 522
14  down Need son luck
Matt Jarvis
34 517
15  down Bielsa Ringing
Alan Hardy
46 512
16  down Upper Bullens
Andy Taylor
44 508
17  up Musttryharder fc
Paul Telford
55 496
18  down Mour Salt and Pep
Noel Driver
39 496
19  up The Big Lewandowski
Paul Callaghan
48 492
20  up Kompany & Co
DEAN CRIPPS
46 491
20  same PenshawPerformers
david bruce
38 491
22  down Pretty Schitty City
Alex Michaluk
32 485
23  up Your Ad Here
Matthew Hopkins
54 485
24  down Frostee Rucker
Paul Bentz
30 484
25  same FTM
Stu Smith
46 481
26  same CAS Vampire Slayers
Mustafa khan
42 477
27  down romeoshondavan
Rob Hewer
32 473
28  up Hoose Reus
James Whitfield
49 472
29  up Shoelace Untied
Caroline Strong
55 469
30  down Pique Blinders
Colin Goulding
41 466
31  down Crazy Leg XI
David Caldicott
42 465
32  up Aribo Haribo
Paul Hawkins
43 460
33  up Dinamo Spinks
David Spinks
49 457
34  down Fake Madrid
Andrew Wade
30 455
35  up Dropit like its Hart
Jason Earwicker
41 455
36  down Bakerlona
Stuart Baker
39 453
37  down QUEEN OF THE NORTH
DORINE REACHER
37 451
38  up Morningblues
Jeff Morning
54 451
39  up El Loco No Joko
Paul Murray
47 447
40  down Rip Roaring Reds
Sean Whyton
37 446
41  up Nashton Villa
Jaime Nash
62 446
42  down Salah Buffoon!!!
Jitesh Lakhani
44 445
43  down Real Jorvik
Simon Brown
34 439
44  down ClipityKlopptotitle
tanya thursby
31 439
45  down Greeeenteeam
adam greenwood
31 429
46  down It’s coming home
scott mcgow
29 418
47  up Kebab Eaters Utd
Paul Howard
42 418
48  down Atlético Chappers
Richard Chapman
31 414
49  up Hemel Hotspurs
Paul Jarvis
48 413
50  up Puddle Splash Van
Ian Williams
52 410
51  up Ross’s champions
darren frankland
45 388
52  down The Mindless Morons
John Seacroft
13 385

 

Manager of the week – Rico United – Jason Reacher – 65 points

Not a great week for scoring heavily with many of the top 10 stumbling and struggling to get over 40 points. Matt Doherty, as the most transferred in player, was bound to mess up and duly did, and he took the rest of the Wolves team down with him. Eden Hazard blanked and took a booking into the bargain and the uncertainty over the Liverpool line up ultimately didn’t mean that much with only a 1-0 win and a goal scored by the player vacating the most teams, Mo Salah. Rico made a charge from the pack and climbed toward the top 10 with a hard earned 65 points, given a last minute boost by a second consecutive brace off the bench by Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang. He doesn’t need to start. Time to start squeezing Arsenal assets in to your team somehow.

There are lots of managers in with a chance of sneaking the October manager of the month, Rico included. Inevitably, Da Pitch are loitering. They extended their overall lead and now sit in the top 2,000 overall.

1  same Salah Buffoon!!!
Jitesh Lakhani
44 134
2  up But Da Pitch Ain’t 1
Trev Reams
53 124
3  up RICO UNITED
JASON REACHER
65 123
4  up Cookie fc
Peter Cook
57 117
5  up Shoelace Untied
Caroline Strong
55 117
6  down Deeney in a Bottle
Stephanie Cripps
39 115
7  down Game of Stones
Ryan Garoghan
42 112
8  up FTM
Stu Smith
46 110
9  down Edgbaston
Micheal Dinneen
38 109
10  same Dropit like its Hart
Jason Earwicker
41 106
11  down Rip Roaring Reds
Sean Whyton
37 104
12  up Kompany & Co
DEAN CRIPPS
46 104

 

Player of the week – Jordan Pickford – Everton – 15 points

It was only Everton’s second clean sheet. Many managers were dispensing of Pickford and Everton defenders with prices starting to drop, so they were bound to make you regret that decision sooner or later. It maybe wasn’t much of a surprise that it came against Palace though. They’ve only found the net five times this season.

Bargain of the week – Fernandinho – Manchester City – 14 points

This tends to happen once a season. Fernandinho will not score or assist or collect top bonus marks again for another year. Do not replace Eden Hazard with Fernandinho.

Twat of the week – Callum Chambers – Fulham – -1 points

Fulham are leaky. So leaky they let Cardiff score four against them. His score could have been much worse because he was lucky to escape a second caution. Every Fulham defender bar two has suffered a price drop so far this season – and one of those two hasn’t played a game yet.

Goal of the week – Riyad Mahrez. 9 minutes in. Ah Oui!

 

Season review

May 14, 2018

1  same The Vinegar Pissers
P Hawkins
84 2289
2  same Nashton Villa
Jaime Nash
65 2253
3  same Edgbaston
Micheal Dinneen
67 2251
4  same Despicable Mee
Trevor Gordon
67 2250
5  same FC Caligula
Ajay Supeda
86 2245
6  same The Craggy Islanders
Adrian Roche
65 2216
7  same Hornets
Andrew Wade
76 2215
8  up INIT FC
Mustafa khan
74 2193
9  down Brexiter City
Colin Goulding
52 2184
10  up It’sOnlyAGameFarke!
David Spinks
66 2156
11  up Rico united
JASON REACHER
71 2155
12  up The winnings R mine
david bruce
71 2148
13  down greenyteamy
adam greenwood
51 2139
14  down Fun Lovren Criminals
Paul Callaghan
34 2134
15  up Game of Throw-Ins
Ryan Garoghan
73 2133
16  same Queen of the north
DORINE REACHER
55 2125
17  down Emergency Gap Jumper
Ian Williams
54 2125
18  same Kebab Eaters Utd
Paul Howard
60 2108
19  same Pure Buffoonery!
Jitesh Lakhani
54 2103
20  up We are Ayling
Paul Murray
68 2095
21  up Your Ad Here
Matthew Hopkins
88 2094
22  up Gotta Light?
Andrew Swift
66 2089
23  down Shoelace Untied
Caroline Strong
53 2089
24  down Klopp of the Pochs
Jason Earwicker
58 2082
25  down Rip Roaring Reds
Sean Whyton
48 2078
26  down Atlético Chappers
Richard Chapman
55 2073
27  up Flying squad
Matt Jarvis
87 2072
28  up Pretty Schitty City
Alex Michaluk
85 2065
29  down To Elland Back
Alan Hardy
69 2061
30  up Neil Madrid
Neil Strong
84 2061
31  down Golden Boys
Stephanie Cripps
55 2052
32  up King Dunlap
Paul Bentz
80 2050
33  same mrs mcgoo
laura barrett
70 2048
34  down Aquamar 1564
Noel Driver
43 2035
35  same Crazylegs XI
David Caldicott
57 2021
36  same blakes11
Steven Darling
54 1998
37  same musttryharder FC
Paul Telford
52 1995
38  same Kompany & Co
DEAN CRIPPS
58 1983
39  same FTM
Stu Smith
55 1980
40  up Jarv88
Paul Jarvis
85 1918
41  down iamgroot
scott mcgow
56 1903
42  up romeoshondavan
Rob Hewer
66 1898
43  up Upper Bullens
Andy Taylor
69 1896
44  down cookster fc
Peter Cook
50 1895
45  same disco dancer
darren frankland
61 1879
46  same Pudding And Pie
John Seacroft
52 1848
47  same Bakerlona FC
Stuart Baker
59 1829
48  same Release The Hounds
Paul Mitchell
50 1799
49  same Real Jorvik
Simon Brown
50 1752
50  same Biscuitmen
Chris Morton
71 1653

 

Winners – The Vinegar Pissers 

The third manager to pick up their second title scoring the second highest finishing total. The Vinegar Pissers only spent six weeks outside of our top 10, first taking root in GW5. They did drop to the depths of 11th and 12th, before permanently floating around 6th until gameweek 29, when a manager of the week performance saw them rise to third. Then GW31 – only four games – but a Mohamed Salah masterclass and everybody’s posting 100+ totals and challenging for the highest weekly score prize. The VP’s kicked arse with 124 points from eight players, 58 of which came from Salah. That put them at the top of the league and that’s where they stayed – and in truth, no-one really got that close to them. Congratulations to the Pissers. They got as high as 8,202nd in the world, never took more than a four point hit, played their triple captain and bench boost in the run in and utilised their free hit well, picking up a good score with it and a green arrow just before Christmas. Interestingly, they played their wildcards at almost the earliest possibly opportunity on both occasions. Proving that there is still no logic to this game and it’s all complete luck.

Runners up – Nashton Villa, Edgbaston and Despicable Mee 

Our Champions League qualifiers all had similar seasons, making their surge into the top ten and then the top four at around the same time. It was during March that they all lost ground on the VPs and were left desperately trying to claw back the points lost during gameweeks 29 and 31 – the two weeks that definitely won the VP’s that manager of the month, and arguably won them the league. It was a superb debut season for Nashton who reached their highest worldwide position after GW37, but were unable to continue the rise and challenge for the top spot. They would have had to surpass the 100 point mark in GW38 to knock our champions off their perch.

Edgbaston have finally crept into our top four after two consecutive 5th place finishes, despite finishing lower in the world rankings than in both of their last two attempts. And fourth placed Despicable Mee are regressing. Two consecutive runners up placings and now fourth place. Once always the bridesmaid – now a distant uncle only invited because they had a space to fill. In all seriousness – if one of these two doesn’t win this title soon, I’d be very surprised.

The rest

There were valiant efforts by two former champs who just ran out of steam at the last knockings – FC Caligula and The Craggy Islanders finished 5th and 6th respectively. We’re sure to see them in the running next season. Hornets, a total rookie FPL debutant, who were top every week bar three between gameweeks 2 and 29, finished in a respectable 7th. By gameweek 16 they had climbed to 1,663rd in the world, as high (possibly) as any Buckets manager has been, but they peaked too early. Better understanding of the chips and when to play them might serve them better next season. The rest of us – probably got stung by Harry Kane once too often, and only realised when it was too late that they should have had Mo Salah as captain EVERY WEEK.

The awards

We had more managers of the week scoring 100+ scores than in any previous season. The Vinegar Pissers’ 124 point score was the second highest weekly winning score, but falls way behind their own record set in the 2013-2014 season when they managed 165 points in a week in which virtually everybody passed the 100 point barrier following a mammoth double gameweek. That same season produced the highest winning finishing score in our league of 2356 points. Despite there being more 100+ weekly winners in this season, The VPs finished 67 points behind that total. It’s worth noting that the 124 points scored in GW31 was done so from only four games. Another thirteen of our fifty teams passed the century mark that week. And most of them were only fielding bit part teams.

We had ten different managers of the month, six managers taking two weekly accolades, but only one, The bloody Vinegar Pissers, managing three highest weekly scores. Shoelace Untied took the December prize, accumulating 477 points for the month – the highest ever monthly total.

The players

We may have fallen just short of breaking our manager records this season, but the reason we got so close was largely due to one player – Mohamed Salah. He became the first player to pass 300 points for the season. No-one else came close – which may explain why we didn’t quite eclipse the higher scores from four years ago. Back then, in the ‘Suarez’ season, there was a great supporting cast, with the likes of Daniel Sturridge, Steven Gerrard, Raheem Sterling, Robin Van Persie, Yaya Toure and Eden Hazard all scoring big, playing consistently and featuring in a lot of teams. This season only Harry Kane, Sterling and Kevin De Bruyne passed the 200 point mark. Despite Kane running Salah (fairly) close in the golden boot chase, he was still close to 100 points behind. Which says more about the frustrating, annoying, inconsistent, trolling season the Spurs striker had. Nowt for weeks then just when you get sick of it all three frickin’ hat tricks…or whatever it was. Dickhead. Still – he’ll be in from the start next season.

Kane picked up more player of the week awards (three) than anyone else. Salah, who only scored more than anyone else once throughout the whole season, was much more consistent. A goal every week rather than three and a gap. And lets mention GW31 again – 29 points – the highest ever single match gameweek score. Sergio Aguero, Heung-Min Son and Marko Arnautovic were the only other players to get two player of the week awards. Tottenham won the award six times ahead of Chelsea with five, and then perhaps surprisingly, Manchester City, with only four winners. Ayoze Perez, Federico Fernandez and Callum Wilson showed up on the bargain list more than once and Newcastle appeared to be the best go-to cheapo team, winning the award five times over the course of the season. Watford were king of the twats offering up six ‘worst of the week’, with Jose Holebas winning the award twice. Jack Stephens also won it twice – and in consecutive weeks, so well done to him. Manchester City did dominate the goal of the week contenders with eight wins, but anyone who tells you that Jamie Vardy’s over the shoulder volley against West Brom in GW30 isn’t the goal of the season, is some kind of goon.

Debatable team of the season

  • GK – David De Gea – 172 points

No arguments here, although Lorus Karius did pick up more points per match of all keepers playing more than 10 games. Karius and Mignolet played half a season each – 19 games a piece. Mignolet scored on average 1.1 points per game less and kept three less clean sheets – although still 7 out of 19 which is pretty respectable.

  • DR – Cesar Azpilicueta – 175 points
  • DL – Marcos Alonso – 165 points
  • DC – Nicolas Otamendi – 156 points
  • DC – Jan Vertonghen – 138 points

Antonio Valencia, Ben Davies and Kyle Walker all scored more than Vertonghen, but none are central defenders. In the favoured three at the back, you’d probably have to drop Alonso. He hasn’t scored enough to warrant his usual left wing back position ahead of the highest scoring midfielders either…coming up next. Andrew Robertson missed 16 games and Phil Jones missed 15 games, but both beat all of the above, other than Alonso, in points per game. Jones managed 15 clean sheets in his 23 games. Basically – if he didn’t play – United usually conceded.

  • DM – Luca Milivojevic – 144 points
  • CM – Kevin De Bruyne – 209 points
  • AM – Mohamed Salah – 303 points
  • AM – Raheem Sterling – 229 points
  • AM – Christian Eriksen – 199 points

Obviously, this is where it all gets a bit ‘debatable’. No real team is complete without some kind of defensive holding player, so when you see the PFA team of the year, and it’s basically a goalkeeper and 10 attackers, you do wonder if they ever really watch the game. But then if you were going to stick a defensive midfielder in there, you wouldn’t necessarily be basing their inclusion on their fantasy points total, seeing as how nothing they do is ever taken into consideration when the scores are totted up. You’d just pick N’Golo Kante and move on wouldn’t you? Milivojevic is definitely worth a mention though. Arguably the most reliable penalty taker in the league, double figures for goals and in the top 10 for bonuses.

  • CF – Harry Kane – 217 points

His best goalscoring season but not his his best fantasy season. Too many braces and hat tricks, if their can be such a thing, and not enough consistency. Kane would go missing for weeks, but then burst back into life racking up the highest bonus score too. It was all about catching him on a good day. He blanked in 19 gameweeks – half a season. Salah failed to score anything other than appearance points in only 10 games. Aguero, and latterly, Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang, finished the season with more points per match. There’s your front three for August.

 

 

Player awards

Gameweek 37 results

May 11, 2018

1  same The Vinegar Pissers
P Hawkins
67 2209
2  up Nashton Villa
Jaime Nash
88 2188
3  up Edgbaston
Micheal Dinneen
89 2184
4  up Despicable Mee
Trevor Gordon
93 2183
5  same FC Caligula
Ajay Supeda
81 2167
6  down The Craggy Islanders
Adrian Roche
51 2155
7  same Hornets
Andrew Wade
70 2139
8  same Brexiter City
Colin Goulding
62 2132
9  same INIT FC
Mustafa khan
72 2119
10  up Fun Lovren Criminals
Paul Callaghan
108 2104
11  up It’sOnlyAGameFarke!
David Spinks
116 2094
12  same greenyteamy
adam greenwood
60 2088
13  down Rico united
JASON REACHER
63 2084
14  same The winnings R mine
david bruce
57 2077
15  down Emergency Gap Jumper
Ian Williams
59 2075
16  down Queen of the north
DORINE REACHER
50 2070
17  same Game of Throw-Ins
Ryan Garoghan
60 2060
18  down Kebab Eaters Utd
Paul Howard
59 2056
19  up Pure Buffoonery!
Jitesh Lakhani
116 2049
20  same Shoelace Untied
Caroline Strong
76 2040
21  down Rip Roaring Reds
Sean Whyton
48 2030
22  down We are Ayling
Paul Murray
74 2027
23  up Klopp of the Pochs
Jason Earwicker
102 2024
24  down Gotta Light?
Andrew Swift
80 2023
25  down Atlético Chappers
Richard Chapman
102 2018
26  up Your Ad Here
Matthew Hopkins
92 2006
27  up Golden Boys
Stephanie Cripps
83 1997
28  down To Elland Back
Alan Hardy
69 1996
29  down Aquamar 1564
Noel Driver
87 1992
30  down Flying squad
Matt Jarvis
49 1985
31  up Neil Madrid
Neil Strong
80 1981
32  up Pretty Schitty City
Alex Michaluk
103 1980
33  down mrs mcgoo
laura barrett
75 1978
34  down King Dunlap
Paul Bentz
66 1974
35  down Crazylegs XI
David Caldicott
82 1964
36  up blakes11
Steven Darling
86 1944
37  up musttryharder FC
Paul Telford
75 1943
38  down Kompany & Co
DEAN CRIPPS
46 1925
39  down FTM
Stu Smith
47 1925
40  up iamgroot
scott mcgow
61 1847
41  up cookster fc
Peter Cook
61 1845
42  up Jarv88
Paul Jarvis
71 1833
43  down romeoshondavan
Rob Hewer
32 1832
44  same Upper Bullens
Andy Taylor
57 1827
45  same disco dancer
darren frankland
54 1818
46  same Pudding And Pie
John Seacroft
72 1796
47  same Bakerlona FC
Stuart Baker
58 1770
48  same Release The Hounds
Paul Mitchell
96 1749
49  same Real Jorvik
Simon Brown
59 1702
50  same Biscuitmen
Chris Morton
69 1582

 

Manager of the week – Pure Buffoonery! – Jitesh Lakhani – 116 points

The gameweek which should probably have yielded the highest weekly score – didn’t. We did get a handful of managers passing the century barrier and all can consider themselves in with a good chance of picking up the last manager of the month award. Best team this week were Pure Buffoonery! who equaled It’sOnlyAGameFarke!’s 116 point total, but scored more goals – five to three. Both of these teams were bench boosted, and both had our player of the week. Although neither captained him. Had they, or any of the others with Pierre Emerick Aubameyang in their teams done so, they’d be looking at our highest weekly score and May Manager of the month prize. They’d be out of sight with a triple captain punt. We almost entirely went with either Harry Kane or a Manchester City player. And that’s why we were all just bubbling under the 100 point mark rather than cruising past it.

And so we enter our final gameweek. Any of the top four could probably finish top. Any of the top six could probably finish top four. This unfortunately rules out Hornets who were top for so long. For a debut season in the game as a whole, not just in our league, it’s a fantastic effort. Only Chelsea and Liverpool have something to play for in the last gameweek. Southampton could still theoretically go down if they suffer a pasting at the hands of Manchester City, which in October I wouldn’t have ruled out. But even this season’s champions look like they’ve had enough for now and are winding down ahead of the World Cup. I’d expect as many full strength teams as possible, teams going bananas, lots of goalfests, and as a result maybe a few twists and turns as our Buckets season comes to a close.

Player of the week – Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang – 23 points

Arsenal’s form has been so up and down with still no away win since the new year that their players were virtually ignored for this gameweek. And maybe rightly so given the 3-1 defeat to Leicester. Yet, maybe we should have all taken into consideration the last home game of the Wenger reign. A 5-0 thumping of Burnley produced four double figure scorers. Aubameyang finished the week – scoring their single reply against Leicester as well – with his 9th goal in thirteen games. One to watch from the off next season.

Bargain of the week – Adrian – 19 points

The big scores came from some unexpected places this week. Adrian kept two clean sheets, made a hatful of saves and picked up four bonus marks to finish as the second highest scorer. Of the bottom half teams playing twice managers tended to favour Swansea assets over the likes of Brighton, Huddersfield and West Ham. Wrong choice. Swansea are down. The Hammers, Terriers and the Seagulls are safe.

Twat of the week – James Tarkowski – -1 points

Burnley have done all that was expected of them and more this season by qualifying for Europe, so maybe their foot was off the gas a little. That combined with the last Wenger home game factor and an Arsenal win was kind of inevitable. Burnley will be disappointed to have conceded five, as will those stuck with Burnely defenders following their previous double gameweek appearance and no chips left to get rid of them.

Goal of the week – Mark Noble. 

 

 

Gameweek 35 results

April 24, 2018

1  same The Vinegar Pissers
P Hawkins
40 2109
2  up FC Caligula
Ajay Supeda
79 2059
3  down The Craggy Islanders
Adrian Roche
53 2053
4  up Edgbaston
Micheal Dinneen
71 2040
5  same Nashton Villa
Jaime Nash
51 2033
6  same Brexiter City
Colin Goulding
50 2023
7  down Despicable Mee
Trevor Gordon
55 2023
8  down Hornets
Andrew Wade
34 2019
9  up INIT FC
Mustafa khan
53 1991
10  down greenyteamy
adam greenwood
45 1985
11  same Emergency Gap Jumper
Ian Williams
52 1973
12  up Rico united
JASON REACHER
65 1965
13  up Queen of the north
DORINE REACHER
52 1964
14  down The winnings R mine
david bruce
38 1963
15  down Fun Lovren Criminals
Paul Callaghan
34 1958
16  down Game of Throw-Ins
Ryan Garoghan
37 1955
17  up Kebab Eaters Utd
Paul Howard
68 1953
18  up It’sOnlyAGameFarke!
David Spinks
65 1944
19  down Rip Roaring Reds
Sean Whyton
52 1933
20  up Shoelace Untied
Caroline Strong
51 1921
21  same Gotta Light?
Andrew Swift
30 1902
22  up Pure Buffoonery!
Jitesh Lakhani
62 1895
23  same Atlético Chappers
Richard Chapman
24 1890
24  up Flying squad
Matt Jarvis
60 1885
25  down We are Ayling
Paul Murray
32 1882
26  down Golden Boys
Stephanie Cripps
29 1881
27  down Aquamar 1564
Noel Driver
44 1881
28  up Neil Madrid
Neil Strong
67 1871
29  same Klopp of the Pochs
Jason Earwicker
41 1864
30  same Your Ad Here
Matthew Hopkins
50 1860
31  down To Elland Back
Alan Hardy
29 1859
32  up King Dunlap
Paul Bentz
69 1852
33  down Kompany & Co
DEAN CRIPPS
48 1847
34  same Crazylegs XI
David Caldicott
47 1846
35  down mrs mcgoo
laura barrett
52 1844
36  up FTM
Stu Smith
52 1833
37  down musttryharder FC
Paul Telford
40 1831
38  down Pretty Schitty City
Alex Michaluk
31 1828
39  same blakes11
Steven Darling
66 1807
40  up Upper Bullens
Andy Taylor
57 1744
41  up romeoshondavan
Rob Hewer
65 1742
42  same iamgroot
scott mcgow
49 1742
43  down cookster fc
Peter Cook
24 1741
44  down Jarv88
Paul Jarvis
50 1741
45  up disco dancer
darren frankland
61 1706
46  down Pudding And Pie
John Seacroft
21 1693
47  down Bakerlona FC
Stuart Baker
24 1672
48  up Release The Hounds
Paul Mitchell
56 1608
49  down Real Jorvik
Simon Brown
29 1601
50  same Biscuitmen
Chris Morton
25 1474

 

Manager of the week – FC Caligula – 79 points

I told you they were the ones to watch. As predicted they played their free hit – and with some success. Other free hit scores by other managers have been higher across the season, but Caligula’s was perhaps better timed and sees them climb into second place, marginally closing the gap on The VPs to 50 points. Is that too big a gap to overcome? It will all depend on their GW37 teams and captains. The only real disappointments for Cailgula were James Milner’s 1 point when they may have expected a clean sheet, Ilkay Gundogan’s virtual blank in among Man City’s five goal thrashing of Swansea and the in-form Wilf Zaha having a week off diving about the Watford penalty area. They will return to their GW34 team already containing thirteen GW37 double gameweekers. The VPs have eight and some big decisions to make. And lets give an honorable mention to Edgbaston, who also had their Free Hit in storage and picked up 71 points to move into fourth. They will proceed next week with 10 GW37 double gameweekers and a triple captain up their sleeve.

Player of the week – Alexandre Lacazette – 13 points

Those free hit scores were low-ish for a reason. Obviously, it being a reduced gameweek – although remember what happened in GW31. And despite four and five goal matches at Liverpool, Arsenal and Manchester City, the points were spread around a host of players. Lacazette was the only player to bag a brace and is having a strong end of season – as Arsenal always tend to do. Maybe with extra incentive of giving their manager a good send off. Arsenal have two very winnable fixtures to finish the season but with the Europa League in mind, rotation could play a part. The only player I’d say guaranteed a start – although that didn’t happen at the weekend –  is Pierre Aubameyang. He’s cup tied in the Europa, so should, in theory, be first name on the team sheet.

Bargain of the week – Wayne Hennessey – 10 points

I suppose you’ve got to totally ignore what I said about Wayne Hennessey last week. I guess they were due a clean sheet – as were Watford. Hennessey picked up top bonus and an extra save point. And just to completely back track – his run of fixtures don’t look too scary, so maybe there’ll be another clean sheet to celebrate before the end of the season.

Twat of the week – Martin Olsson – -1 points

Poor Swansea. City were due to give someone a pasting and with the title won it was inevitable that this gameweek’s opponents were the most likely to be on the receiving end. I doubt the defeat will effect Swansea too much, but the goals conceded might be a problem. Olsson is this week’s worst for picking up a yellow to go with the drubbing.

Goal of the week – Kevin De Bruyne. Screamer. 4m40s

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