Gameweek 8 results

1 Your Ad Here Matthew Hopkins 115 439
2 4 Lime Jellies Ian Williams 72 419
3 FC Caligula Ajay Supeda 98 419
4 Golden Boys Stephanie Cripps 73 418
5 Pretty Schitty City Alex Michaluk 77 417
6 Rocky Ba Bauer P Hawkins 103 416
7 Edgbaston Micheal Dinneen 96 415
8 Below Par Paul Bentz 82 415
9 The Kolarov Mané Trevor Gordon 94 412
10 Bicuitmen Chris Morton 116 410
11 Init fc Mustafa khan 99 410
12 Walking with Memphis Noel Driver 80 409
13 The Craggy Islanders Adrian Roche 98 405
14 Romeo’s Honda Van Rob Hewer 126 396
15 greensmeansbusiness adam greenwood 55 393
16 Game of Throw ins Darren Lavelle 98 393
18 Gaalacticos Colin Goulding 98 379
19 Hedgehog Corpse FC Nick Smith 109 376
20 Bermie Utd Glen Davies 96 375
21 Atlético Chappers Richard Chapman 90 374
22 Sergio Five O DEAN CRIPPS 78 373
23 Go Buffoons Go!!! Jitesh Lakhani 92 373
24 scotty2hotty scott mcgow 59 371
25 Upper Bullens Andy Taylor 48 366
26 Shoelace Untied Caroline Strong 81 361
27 Neil Madrid Neil Strong 86 359
28 Grievous AngelRangel Andrew Swift 58 358
29 JonniestaRedmondinho David Spinks 78 358
30 Rip Roaring Reds Sean Whyton 72 355
31 Sweet Cherry Pie Jason Earwicker 54 347
32 SS3 FC Paul Murray 52 343
33 Release The Hounds Paul Mitchell 43 342
34 The Hardy Boys Alan Hardy 88 340
35 Bish Bosh Goal Simon Purnell 57 335
36 Uriah Rennie 2nd XI Neil Greenwood 94 333
37 Howayman Mark Bromham 50 330
38 Ciderheads Darren Pope 81 326
39 Crazy Legs XI David Caldicott 55 325
40 Baker Bum Boys Lewis Baker 60 316
41 Panza Grande XI Stuart Baker 28 297
42 REAL JORVIK Simon Brown 49 294
43 The Mindless Morons John Seacroft 73 288
44 BrussiaHairbach Alex Ritchie 51 275


Following Saturday’s games the scores were split between two distinct groups – those with, and those without. Thankfully there were enough points on offer from Sunday’s games for those without to make up the ground they’d lost – providing of course they had the right players. There have been some big movers in the league this week – up and down.

Up 19 places to number 14 is Romeo’s Honda Van. Triple captaining Sergio scored Romeo’s 75 points. A genius move. Their 126 point total will be hard to beat, even in a double gameweek. Aguero’s 25 points has been bettered in the Buckets era. Theo Walcott hit 26 points in the 2012-13 season following a 7-3 butchering of… Newcastle. Who else? Edin Dzeko also equaled this total in the penultimate week of the 2013-14 season. Other than the 75 points earned by Aguero – a single weekly score record for a Buckets team member – Romeo’s also had Dimitri Payet and Kevin De Bruyne on board. Payet moves to within a point of Riyad Mahrez in the overall player scores. It’s been an impressive start to Premiership life by De Bruyne who is averaging 9 points per gameweek. He’s easily the most reliable City midfielder at the moment. Romeo’s also picked up 21 points from Sunday’s games. 14 points came courtesy of the Arsenal defence and another seven from the in-form Romelu Lukaku. What is most extraordinary is that Romeo’s posted their mega-score with only nine men. Bacary Sagna and Riyad Mahrez were non-players and they’d nothing on the bench in reserve.

It was a weekend in which the old school rose again. There were five 100+ scores – all scored by Buckets veterans. Up 17 places to 19 are Hedgehog Corpse. Hedgehog managed 109 points, with Aguero as captain claiming 50 of them. A further 16 points came from the boot and bonuses of Alexis Sanchez, 13 from Mesut Ozil, 10 from Payet and nine from Odion Ighalo. Sanchez’s season is up and running now with five goals and six bonus points in two games. From nowhere to the fourth best overall score in a fortnight.

Up 11 to tenth go the Biscuitmen. To the 50 points contributed by Aguero, Biscuitmen added 14 points from Graziano Pelle, who became the games highest scoring striker, nine from Jamie Vardy, who scored for the fifth consecutive game and 10 from Yannick Bolasie, whom I have no stat about. Biscuitmen’s defence stood firm contributing 28 points in total.

Up six to sixth go Rocky Ba Bauer with 103 points. Rocky hold the current weekly points record – 165 points in gameweek 31 of 2013-14. Yohan Cabaye, Payet and Vardy were the additional big scorers to Aguero’s 50 points.

Last but not least, Your Ad Here also climb six places to top spot. Our new leaders collected 115 points to build up a 20 point lead. They were another with an Aguero/Sanchez double header, as well as healthy contributions from the Arsenal defence and Andre Ayew.

Of the fallers, Release The Hounds plummeted the furthest. They fell 15 places to 33rd. They picked up a combined total of 9 points from their City and Arsenal contingent – so obviously no Aguero or Sanchez. They relied heavily on Manchester United with Martial as captain, Rooney and Mata – to the tune of just 7 points. It was a bad week compounded by virtually everybody else scoring double their total.

And so on to those who were looking in trouble after Saturday’s games, but were rescued by Sunday’s – most notably 4 Lime Jellies and Pretty Schitty City. The Jellies may not occupy top spot anymore, but will be glad of the 28 points added to their Saturday score. This included nine extra points from Jamie Vardy who defaulted as captain following Riyad Mahrez’s omission. City also picked up nine points from Vardy as vice captain (again in place of Mahrez), plus another 40 points from the players they had playing on Sunday. This included nine from Andre Ayew who was Mahrez’s substitute. City had dropped out of the top 20 on Saturday evening, but found their way back up to fifth 24 hours later.

What a week. Just what we needed – a good shake up before the international break.


Player of the week – Sergio Aguero – 25 points. Inevitably. These goals were always going to come at some point.

Bargain of the week – Yann M’Vila – 10 points. Two assists, but overshadowed by all the bigger scorers elsewhere.

Donkey of the week – Matteo Darmian – -1 points. How is this not a Newcastle player?

Goal of the week – Jeremain Lens. Double award week for Sunderland.


Gameweek 38 and end of season results

1 Neil Madrid Neil Strong 57 2,175
2 Pescara Rangers Stewart Pope 45 2,123
3 Hedgehog Corpse FC Nick Smith 33 2,114
4 NaboombuDirtyYellows Andrew Swift 57 2,112
5 Shoelace Untied Caroline Strong 36 2,061
6 RayCrawfordsCrackers Rob Hewer 44 2,051
7 Bermie Utd Glen Davies 63 2,049
8 Uriah Rennie 2nd XI Neil Greenwood 45 2,045
9 Gaalatcticos Colin Goulding 53 2,039
10 * Your Ad Here * Matthew Hopkins 44 2,037
11 Van Damme United P Hawkins 42 2,021
12 Paris Spinks Germain David Spinks 52 2,003
13 Upper Bullens Andy Taylor 26 1,993
14 Ciderheads Darren Pope 33 1,966
15 Who R U DEAN CRIPPS 45 1,953
16 Accrington Rudyard Ian Williams 41 1,939
17 Pretty Schitty City Alex Michaluk 47 1,903
18 Rip Roaring Reds Sean Whyton 50 1,901
19 Biscuitmen Chris Morton 33 1,881
20 The Mindless Morons John Seacroft 59 1,876
21 Panza Grande XI Stuart Baker 47 1,837
22 Get to the choppa Mark Bromham 40 1,834
23 Real Jorvik FC Simon Brown 45 1,830
24 Release The Hounds Paul Mitchell 45 1,788
25 Luxembourg United Simon Smallbone 32 1,758
26 No Recognized Plan Paul Bentz 41 1,744
27 Sportingabiggerwig Alex Ritchie 39 1,723
28 Crazylegs XI David Caldicott 32 1,617
29 Jordie’s Giants Jordan Raper 21 1,357


A  typically ridiculous last day of the season. Some teams scored lots of goals. Some players scored lots of points, most of whom are nowhere near anyone’s fantasy squads. Of the players who made the weekly dream team line up, only Santi Cazorla appears among the season’s top points scorers. The last Arsenal payer you want scoring a hat trick is Theo Walcott – but he did – and from warming the bench and the treatment table all season has potentially played himself into contention for an FA Cup final start.

Our last weekly winners are Bermie United. Fittingly, their 63 points also secured the May manager of the month award. They didn’t make any transfers this week – they didn’t need to – they’ve been on a steady rise for the last couple of weeks. They’ve climbed 200,000 places in the overall game since gameweek 34, and finish in 7th overall.

1 Bermie Utd Glen Davies 63 279
2 Paris Spinks Germain David Spinks 52 263
3 NaboombuDirtyYellows Andrew Swift 57 262
4 Neil Madrid Neil Strong 57 235
5 Release The Hounds Paul Mitchell 45 231
6 Gaalatcticos Colin Goulding 53 229


In the race for the title, Neil Madrid hit a steady 57 points to secure the trophy with room to spare. The battle for the runners up spot went to Pescara who leapfrogged Hedgehog Corpse. Hedgehog nearly slipped to fourth behind Naboombu’s, who would have pinched third had they made Moussa Sissoko or Phil Jones their captain. But who in their right mind would have done that?

Player of the week – Theo Walcott – 20 points. Only his fourth start of the season

Bargain of the week – Mame Biram Diouf – 16 points. Finishes as Stoke’s top scoring player.

Donkey of the week – Marouane Fellaini – -2 points. Trying his hardest to keep Hull up.

Goal of the week – Jack Wilshere. Screamer. 1m46s.



Eden Hazard finishes as top player. He played every game, and pretty much every minute, scoring more bonus points than anybody else by some distance, yet interestingly never picked up a player of the week award. The best bargain player by some distance was Harry Kane. He’ll still only set you back £6 million. It did get as high as £6.5 but has dropped after a quiet few weeks. Burnley keeper, Tom Heaton, is the best value for money player. Ten clean sheets might be unprecedented by a relegated keeper. This includes three in his last three games – since they were relegated. Heaton is also one of six keepers to have saved more than one penalty this season. He also comes in at fourth in the overall saves table behind Fabianski, Adrian and Rob Green. Proving again that the more shots you’re likely to have to save – the better fantasy keeper you are.

Alexis Sanchez’s value increased the most over the season – by £1.1 million. Harry Kane’s had got to a £1.5 million increase before his recent slump. Hazard’s had increased to £1.4 million only two weeks ago. He played at the weekend, but most managers had shipped him out after reading the reports of his wonky wisdom teeth. Nathaniel Clyne and Stewart Downing had both increased in value by £1.2 million at various points of the season. Southampton, on the whole, offered up the best value for money players. Had you ignored the early season pundit predictions that they’d struggle, and picked three of Clyne, Ryan Bertrand, Jose Fonte, Fraser Forster or Graziano Pelle, you’d have got off to a blinding start. Don’t expect them to be so cheap next season.

RayCrawfordsCrackers unsurprisingly tinkered their way to the most manager of the week awards this season. They finished the week with the highest score six times, one less that the record they set last year. Shoelace were the only team to take more than one monthly award, winning the prize in October and March. The player of the week awards were much more evenly spread than last year. I’d be surprised if anyone beat Luis Suarez’s record of five from last season. Harry Kane finished as the highest scorer on three occassions.

Yannick Bolasie hit the highest weekly score of 24 points in gameweek 32 – a hat trick, an assist and all bonus marks against Sunderland. In gamweek 31 Christian Beneteke equalled the highest score up until that point with 23 points – a total that had already been achieved by Dusan Tadic in gameweek 8 – also against Sunderland. Also in gameweek 31, Charlie Austin bagged 21 points – our highest bargain player score. Unsurprisingly, gameweek 31produced our highest team score – 119 points by Pescara – who had both Benteke (c) and Austin in their team. Sergio Aguero and Sadio Mane, in gameweeks 36 and 37 respectively also posted 23 point weekly scores.

Sunderland’s Santiago Vergini hit the depths with a -4 weekly score in their 8-0 drubbing at the hands of Southampton. This included a cracking og that would easily be up for goal of the season, had it not been for the fact he volleyed it into the roof of his own net. Hull and Everton served up the most donkeys with four each. Kyle Naughton was our only double donkey this season whilst playing for Spurs. He now plays for Swansea.

Team of the season

  • GK – Lukasz Fabianski – Swansea City – 151 points
  • DR – Branislav Ivanovic – Chelsea – 171 points
  • DL – Ryan Bertrand – Southampton – 140 points
  • DC – John Terry – Chelsea – 170 points
  • DC – Phil Jagielka – Everton – 142 points
  • MR – Alexis Sanchez – Arsenal – 207 points
  • ML – Eden Hazard – Chelsea – 233 points
  • CM – David Silva – Manchester City – 191 points
  • CM – Santi Cazorla – Arsenal – 168 points
  • AT – Sergio Aguero – Manchester City – 216 points
  • AT – Harry Kane – Tottenham Hotspur – 191 points

Bargains of the season (with season starting value)

  • GK – Tom Heaton – Burnley – 150 points – £4.5 million
  • DR – Nathaniel Clyne – Southampton – 142 points – £5 million
  • DL – Neil Taylor – Swansea City – 109 points – £4.5 million
  • DC – Joleon Lescott – West Bromwich Albion – 127 points – £5 million
  • DC – Ashley Williams – Swansea City – 118 points – £5 million
  • MR – Nacer Chadli – Tottenham Hotspur – 160 points – £6 million
  • ML – Stewart Downing – West Ham United – 160 points – £5.5 million
  • MC – Gylfi Sigurdsson – Swansea City – 154 points – £6 million
  • MC – Ki Sung-Yeung – Swansea City – 129 points – £5 million
  • AT – Charlie Austin –  Queens Park Rangers – 176 points – £6 million
  • AT – Graziano Pelle – Southampton – 149 points – £7.5 million


That’s it. Seventy odd days till we start again. Check the Roll of Honour and Prize Money links for full season breakdown. I’ll be in touch with the winners regarding payment of prize money over the next few days.

Well done everyone.


Gameweek 32 results

1 Neil Madrid Neil Strong 49 1,816
2 Pescara Rangers Stewart Pope 51 1,793
3 Hedgehog Corpse FC Nick Smith 44 1,783
4 NaboombuDirtyYellows Andrew Swift 51 1,756
5 RayCrawfordsCrackers Rob Hewer 65 1,747
6 * Your Ad Here * Matthew Hopkins 60 1,722
7 Shoelace Untied Caroline Strong 35 1,720
8 Upper Bullens Andy Taylor 45 1,719
9 Uriah Rennie 2nd XI Neil Greenwood 43 1,705
10 Gaalatcticos Colin Goulding 52 1,695
11 Van Damme United P Hawkins 78 1,688
12 Bermie Utd Glen Davies 65 1,669
13 Ciderheads Darren Pope 48 1,669
14 Who R U DEAN CRIPPS 50 1,636
15 Accrington Rudyard Ian Williams 53 1,634
16 Paris Spinks Germain David Spinks 55 1,628
17 Pretty Schitty City Alex Michaluk 51 1,621
18 Rip Roaring Reds Sean Whyton 61 1,619
19 Biscuitmen Chris Morton 42 1,617
20 The Mindless Morons John Seacroft 55 1,583
21 Panza Grande XI Stuart Baker 47 1,571
22 Get to the choppa Mark Bromham 41 1,545
23 No Recognized Plan Paul Bentz 40 1,516
24 Luxembourg United Simon Smallbone 59 1,505
25 Real Jorvik FC Simon Brown 56 1,491
26 Sportingabiggerwig Alex Ritchie 48 1,488
27 Release The Hounds Paul Mitchell 53 1,447
28 Crazylegs XI David Caldicott 78 1,406
29 Jordie’s Giants Jordan Raper 26 1,155


This seasons winners of the Buckets Cup are….Who R U. The league newcomers overcame Hedgehog Corpse in the final by 50 points to 44. Hedgehog scored three goals to Who R U’s one, but kept less clean sheets, made less assists and picked up less bonus points. Congratulations Who RU.

Manager of the week is Crazylegs. Another surprise seeing as how they gave up playing in week two. They and Van Damme United both collected 78 points – far and away the best scores of the week – but Crazylegs scored three goals to Van Damme’s two, and so claim the award.

Nothing much changed at the top. The top four all scored within seven points of each other, and around the average weekly score of 46 points. A couple of chasing teams scored well and both RayCrawfordsCrackers and *Your Ad Here* pulled themselves back into contention for a top four place. With a blank and a double gameweek to come before the end of April there is more than enough opportunity to catch the leading pack. Pescara won the last double gameweek with a 60 point swing on those scoring the average for the week, so even those teams in the high 1600’s should still consider themselves in with a chance.

Last week Christian Benteke equalled Dusan Tadic’s highest weekly individual score of 23 points. This week Yannick Bolasie beat it. Bolasie picked up all three bonus points for scoring three and assisting the other of Palace’s four against Sunderland. Glen Murray, who scored the fourth, is in even better form. That was his sixth in seven games and his third consecutive double figure total. He’s just pipped to the bargain buy of the week by Ashley Young, whose value of £4.9 million seems staggeringly low for that of a (now) regular attacking starter in a top three team. His reputation obviously still goes before him, as does that of Angel Di Maria who he’s keeping out of the team. Ten times more managers own Young than Di Maria.


Player of the week – Yannick Bolasie – 24 points. Can he hold onto the points record with two double gameweeks to come.

Bargain of the week – Ashley Young – 14 points. None of United’s starting midfielders will cost you more than £8.5 million and all are scoring well.

Donkey of the week – Vincent Kompany – -1 points. Probably long overdue for his well below par season.

Goal of the week – Aaron Cresswell. Banging free kick. Shocking video.