Gameweek 5 results

1  same Perfidious Albion
Andrew Swift
75 363
2  up But Da Pitch Ain’t 1
Trev Reams
91 358
3  up Cookie fc
Peter Cook
68 327
4  down FC Caligula
Ajay Supeda
56 327
5  down The Craggy Islanders
Adrian Roche
63 327
6  up Game of Stones
Ryan Garoghan
64 326
6  up SLABHEAD FC
Adam Burnett
90 326
8  up Neil Madrid
Neil Strong
68 325
9  down King raggg
Steven Darling
68 323
10  up Frostee Rucker
Paul Bentz
90 320
11  down Deeney in a Bottle
Stephanie Cripps
50 312
12  up The Big Lewandowski
Paul Callaghan
58 309
13  up QUEEN OF THE NORTH
DORINE REACHER
66 301
14  up Edgbaston
Micheal Dinneen
65 301
15  down Mour Salt and Pep
Noel Driver
45 298
16  up RICO UNITED
JASON REACHER
59 297
17  down Hoose Reus
James Whitfield
45 297
18  down Upper Bullens
Andy Taylor
50 294
18  down Need son luck
Matt Jarvis
53 294
20  down PenshawPerformers
david bruce
41 293
21  up Your Ad Here
Matthew Hopkins
61 291
22  up Thelma and Luiz
Trevor Gordon
55 290
23  down Kompany & Co
DEAN CRIPPS
52 288
24  down Bielsa Ringing
Alan Hardy
38 287
25  down Musttryharder fc
Paul Telford
42 282
26  up CAS Vampire Slayers
Mustafa khan
52 281
27  down Crazy Leg XI
David Caldicott
31 276
28  down FTM
Stu Smith
45 271
29  same romeoshondavan
Rob Hewer
40 266
30  same Morningblues
Jeff Morning
40 264
31  up Pique Blinders
Colin Goulding
56 263
32  up Dropit like its Hart
Jason Earwicker
48 262
33  down Shoelace Untied
Caroline Strong
45 260
34  up Aribo Haribo
Paul Hawkins
50 259
35  up ClipityKlopptotitle
tanya thursby
62 255
36  up Pretty Schitty City
Alex Michaluk
56 254
37  down Fake Madrid
Andrew Wade
39 252
37  down Bakerlona
Stuart Baker
34 252
39  down Rip Roaring Reds
Sean Whyton
39 250
40  same Dinamo Spinks
David Spinks
42 241
41  down Hemel Hotspurs
Paul Jarvis
42 237
42  up Kebab Eaters Utd
Paul Howard
50 236
43  down Real Jorvik
Simon Brown
29 235
44  up Nashton Villa
Jaime Nash
47 230
45  up Atlético Chappers
Richard Chapman
63 229
46  up Greeeenteeam
adam greenwood
66 227
47  up The Mindless Morons
John Seacroft
50 219
48  down It’s coming home
scott mcgow
37 217
49  down Puddle Splash Van
Ian Williams
41 217
50  down El Loco No Joko
Paul Murray
31 216
51  down Ross’s champions
darren frankland
41 213
52  down Salah Buffoon!!!
Jitesh Lakhani
36 208

 

Manager of the week – Trev Reams – But Da Pitch Ain’t 1 – 91 points

Our leading rookie team finally have their name on the honour board hitting another 90+ score to narrow the lead at the top. There were two other 90+ teams this week, both of whom had Eden Hazard as captain. BDPA1 settled on Aguero as their skipper, but also picked up double figure returns from Hazard, Matt Doherty, David Silva and a cheeky substitution involving Pierre Hojbjerg coming in for Benjamin Mendy. That unexpected Mendy injury hit a lot of teams. By 5pm it didn’t matter. Most of us had the same sub waiting in the wings – Aaron Wan Bissaka – who was promoted from the bench with a lovely bonus filled 9 points.

Player of the week – Eden Hazard – 20 points

Cue first selection headache of the season. Dropping Salah for Hazard? The Liverpool man isn’t exactly having a bad season, positioned as the sixth highest scoring midfielder, but he’s someway behind the Chelsea skipper. Affording both is possible, but probably at the expense of another elite player in better form. Liverpool have a tasty home fixture against Southampton up next whereas Chelsea must travel to West Ham – and then the two teams face each other. Neither team’s fixtures ease up necessarily after that, but Hazard’s form in comparison to Salah’s is way more impressive and we may even see a price drop if the current trend of abandoning the game’s most expensive player in favour of cheaper options continues.

Bargain of the week – Ryan Fraser – 18 points

This has been in the offing. Certain underlying stats have suggested Ryan Fraser would get in among the goals and assists after two blank weeks. In total it’s three goals and two assists in five games. This is already more than half way to bettering last season’s totals and Bournemouth’s current run of form and upcoming stretch of fixtures promises more. Only Sadio Mane and Marcos Alonso better him for bonus points as well this season.

Twat of the week – Wes Morgan – -3 points

There aren’t many Morgan owners out there I don’t think. Leicester have only kept one clean sheet so far this season and he didn’t play in that. He won’t be playing in the next game either, so no reason to hastily reject any other Leicetser defenders you may have.

Goal of the week – Wilfried Zaha

No vid?!

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Gameweek 36 results and April Manager of the month

1  same The Vinegar Pissers
P Hawkins
37 2146
2  up The Craggy Islanders
Adrian Roche
55 2108
3  up Nashton Villa
Jaime Nash
71 2104
4  same Edgbaston
Micheal Dinneen
59 2099
5  down FC Caligula
Ajay Supeda
39 2098
6  up Despicable Mee
Trevor Gordon
71 2094
7  up Hornets
Andrew Wade
54 2073
8  down Brexiter City
Colin Goulding
51 2070
9  same INIT FC
Mustafa khan
60 2047
10  up Queen of the north
DORINE REACHER
76 2036
11  up Rico united
JASON REACHER
64 2029
12  down greenyteamy
adam greenwood
43 2028
13  down Emergency Gap Jumper
Ian Williams
55 2024
14  same The winnings R mine
david bruce
57 2020
15  same Fun Lovren Criminals
Paul Callaghan
58 2016
16  up Kebab Eaters Utd
Paul Howard
52 2001
17  down Game of Throw-Ins
Ryan Garoghan
45 2000
18  same It’sOnlyAGameFarke!
David Spinks
46 1990
19  same Rip Roaring Reds
Sean Whyton
53 1982
20  same Shoelace Untied
Caroline Strong
51 1972
21  up We are Ayling
Paul Murray
71 1953
22  up Atlético Chappers
Richard Chapman
58 1948
23  down Gotta Light?
Andrew Swift
41 1943
24  down Pure Buffoonery!
Jitesh Lakhani
50 1941
25  down Flying squad
Matt Jarvis
51 1936
26  up To Elland Back
Alan Hardy
68 1927
27  up Klopp of the Pochs
Jason Earwicker
62 1922
28  down Aquamar 1564
Noel Driver
48 1921
29  down Golden Boys
Stephanie Cripps
33 1914
30  same Your Ad Here
Matthew Hopkins
54 1914
31  up mrs mcgoo
laura barrett
71 1911
32  same King Dunlap
Paul Bentz
56 1908
33  down Neil Madrid
Neil Strong
58 1901
34  same Crazylegs XI
David Caldicott
36 1882
35  up FTM
Stu Smith
49 1882
36  down Kompany & Co
DEAN CRIPPS
32 1879
37  up blakes11
Steven Darling
71 1878
38  same Pretty Schitty City
Alex Michaluk
49 1877
39  down musttryharder FC
Paul Telford
37 1868
40  up romeoshondavan
Rob Hewer
58 1800
41  up iamgroot
scott mcgow
60 1798
42  up cookster fc
Peter Cook
43 1784
43  up Jarv88
Paul Jarvis
41 1778
44  down Upper Bullens
Andy Taylor
26 1770
45  same disco dancer
darren frankland
58 1764
46  same Pudding And Pie
John Seacroft
31 1724
47  same Bakerlona FC
Stuart Baker
40 1712
48  same Release The Hounds
Paul Mitchell
45 1653
49  same Real Jorvik
Simon Brown
42 1643
50  same Biscuitmen
Chris Morton
39 1513

 

April Manager of the Month – Edgbaston – Micheal Dineen – 267 points

In what was probably our closest manager of the month tussle of the season, the prize goes to Edgbaston. All of the teams in contention could have pinched the top spot with a better captain choice. Most plumped for Salah, who had a rare off week. Some, most notably Caligula, could have come out on top with a different team selection. Caligula had an extra 10 points on the bench which would have seen them over the line. Having said that, Edgbaston could also have picked up a few more points, opting as they did for Hugo Lloris over Mat Ryan and Pascal Gross over Willian. Caligula’s poor showing saw them drop to fifth overall. The gap is down to 36 points behind the Vinegar Pissers, with The Craggy Islanders and Nashton Villa now leading the chase. Mega double gameweek to come – it’s still anybody’s.

1  up Edgbaston
Micheal Dinneen
59 267
2  same Kebab Eaters Utd
Paul Howard
52 262
3  down FC Caligula
Ajay Supeda
39 258
4  same INIT FC
Mustafa khan
60 256
5  same disco dancer
darren frankland
58 249
6  up Nashton Villa
Jaime Nash
71 246

Manager of the week – Queen of the North – Dorine Reacher – 76 points

Queen of the North became only the fifth team to achieve a second manager of the week nod and move into the top 10 overall – although they’re probably out of the running for a top four place with no chips remaining ahead of the double gameweek. The key to a high score was stocking up on Palace players who made themselves safe with their 5-0 rout of Leicester. Wilfried Zaha bagged his second double figure score in three weeks and was the Queen’s highest scoring player.

Player of the week – Dusan Tadic – 15 points

Despite Palace’s best efforts it was another relegation threatened team who provided us with this weeks best player. Southampton look semi-revitalised and not yet ready to give up on their Premier League status – and may now offer us some options for their double gameweek – Tadic being one of them. He normally shows up for one week of every season with a big score. He chipped in with 23 points back in gameweek 8 of the 2014-2015 season.

Bargain of the week – Mamadou Sakho – 13 points

There we are. The Palace representative. Sakho was one of four Palace players to hit double figures this week. Lots of managers have taken a punt on Zaha given his good form, but not so many on any other player, probably due to the fact they only have one game next week. All others have been gradually discarded in preparation for the GW37. They have Stoke and West Brom left to play – which in the middle of the season would tempt you towards them. Now they’re safe and with those two teams still fighting, it might be best to look elsewhere.

Twat of the week – Marc Albrighton – -2 points

It’s very difficult to time tackles when you’re wearing flip flops and sunglasses.

Goal of the week – Dusan Tadic

No vid for this toe-poke. Tadic again. You definitely won’t see this name mentioned again until next season.

Gameweek 32 results

same Aquamar 15
Noel Driver
89 1873
same When Harry met Alli
Trevor Gordon
75 1793
same The Craggy Islanders
Adrian Roche
84 1773
up Kebab Eaters Utd
Paul Howard
81 1766
down Hedgehog Corpse FC
Nick Smith
79 1764
same RICO UNITED
JASON REACHER
73 1753
up Biscuitmen
Chris Morton
88 1744
up Joey Bosa
Paul Bentz
87 1735
down FC Caligula
Ajay Supeda
49 1716
10  up Uriah Rennie 2nd XI
Neil Greenwood
76 1711
11  up Yeboah’s Right Foot
Paul Murray
64 1703
12  down To Elland Back
Alan Hardy
61 1702
13  up Neil Madrid
Neil Strong
82 1699
14  up Atlético Chappers
Richard Chapman
68 1698
15  down 4 Fuchs Ake
Jason Earwicker
54 1697
16  down Upper Bullens
Andy Taylor
62 1694
17  down Edgbaston
Micheal Dinneen
56 1693
18  up Go Buffoons Go
Jitesh Lakhani
87 1686
19  same INIT FC
Mustafa khan
68 1684
20  down Cooksters
Peter Cook
62 1683
21  down Your Ad Here
Matthew Hopkins
51 1655
22  up Jeff Lamp’s Porsche
David Spinks
100 1652
23  same Rip Roaring Reds
Sean Whyton
58 1650
24  same QUEEN OF THE NORTH
DORINE REACHER
66 1648
25  down greenyteamy
adam greenwood
46 1640
26  up romeoshondavan
Rob Hewer
74 1631
27  down Have a little dink
Ian Williams
59 1630
28  down Hucking Fell
P Hawkins
65 1627
29  up Jarvis FC
Matt Jarvis
80 1627
30  same Shoelace Untied
Caroline Strong
72 1622
31  down nO fucHs given
Paul Callaghan
57 1608
32  up Release The Hounds
Paul Mitchell
60 1577
33  down RG XV
Ryan Garoghan
46 1572
34  down 30:19
Darren Lavelle
50 1568
35  up I am not Zlatan
Colin Goulding
62 1557
36  down jetty city
scott mcgow
57 1555
37  up Golden Boys
Stephanie Cripps
76 1548
38  up Pudding And Pie
John Seacroft
73 1531
39  down FTM
Stu Smith
50 1527
40  same Ciderheads
Darren Pope
63 1511
41  up Pepe Le Blue
DEAN CRIPPS
83 1475
42  down Crazy Legs XI
David Caldicott
37 1459
43  same Bakerlona
Stuart Baker
52 1453
44  up Real Jorvik
Simon Brown
63 1448
45  down Dj daz
darren frankland
55 1445
46  same Big White Chiefs
david frankland
43 1407
47  same Bermie Utd
Glen Davies
25 1384
48  up bazza 28 united
laura barrett
67 1383
49  down Pretty Schitty City
Alex Michaluk
41 1373
50  same Bish Bosh Goal
Simon Purnell
66 1363
51  same Racing Club Skegness
Andrew Swift
61 1320
52  same Jarv88
Paul Jarvis
56 1292
53  same DJ’s Trail Blazers
Danian Jones
59 1277

 

Still no team seems capable of catching Aquamar. They’ve been on the rise in the international game too, jumping to 2,602nd in the world. More often than not they’re outscoring most of the Buckets chasing pack, and always maintaining that lead, which currently stands at 80 points. That’s the highest it’s been. They’re chip-less and now wildcard-less – but has playing them early built up an unassailable lead?

Poor When Harry Met Alli, The Craggy Islanders, Biscuitmen, Hedgehog’s and Kebab Eaters have been staring at the back of Aquamar’s head for most of the season. They continue to score above average every week without making any real inroads, and now they’ve got the relentless rise of teams like Rico United and Joey Bosa coming up behind them to contend with. Rico and Joey were barely top 20 at the turn of the year, but now sit in 6th and 8th respectively. All of those in contention for a league prize, or with hopes of catching the leaders hold some kind of chip or have their remaining wildcard. With two (potentially three) more double gameweeks to cram into the final six, their could be more twists and turns.

Aquamar benefited from Palace’s surprise thumping of Arsenal last night. Mamadou Sakho was promoted from the bench to join Wilfried Zaha in their XI to add 17 points. Conversely, Jeff Lamp’s Porsche, despite outscoring everybody else and breaking the 100 point barrier, would have been hoping for a bit more from Alexis Sanchez.  Before last night’s match they were sat on 98 points with hopes of catching the highest weekly score total. Only 2 points were added and it leaves most of us questioning Sanchez’s attitude and his worth (and that of the entire Arsenal squad) in these crunch closing weeks of the season.

However, you couldn’t have named a better player than Heung-Min Son as your captain this week, and that’s what JLP did. These are the kind of ballsy decisions that win you fantasy prizes, so lets see if they can follow that up with a challenge for the April Manager of the month award.

 

Player of the week – Heung-Min Son – 19 points. Can he hold onto his place now that Harry Kane is back?

Bargain of the week – Phil Jagielka – 12 points. Second successive double figure score.

Donkey of the week – Sebastian Larsson – -2 points. Never a sending off

Goal of the week – Dele Alli. Just needs to cut out those shit celebrations.

Gameweek 30 results

same Aquamar 15
Noel Driver
47 1705
same When Harry met Alli
Trevor Gordon
53 1665
same Hedgehog Corpse FC
Nick Smith
37 1639
same The Craggy Islanders
Adrian Roche
43 1633
up RICO UNITED
JASON REACHER
58 1622
up Kebab Eaters Utd
Paul Howard
55 1618
down Biscuitmen
Chris Morton
39 1615
down FC Caligula
Ajay Supeda
44 1607
same To Elland Back
Alan Hardy
42 1599
10  up Joey Bosa
Paul Bentz
64 1595
11  down Edgbaston
Micheal Dinneen
52 1593
12  down Uriah Rennie 2nd XI
Neil Greenwood
40 1580
13  up Upper Bullens
Andy Taylor
56 1575
14  down Atlético Chappers
Richard Chapman
49 1575
15  up 4 Fuchs Ake
Jason Earwicker
67 1574
16  down Neil Madrid
Neil Strong
49 1569
17  up INIT FC
Mustafa khan
59 1568
18  up Your Ad Here
Matthew Hopkins
52 1566
19  down Go Buffoons Go
Jitesh Lakhani
45 1562
20  same Yeboah’s Right Foot
Paul Murray
45 1559
21  down Cooksters
Peter Cook
40 1555
22  down greenyteamy
adam greenwood
38 1554
23  down Rip Roaring Reds
Sean Whyton
37 1553
24  up QUEEN OF THE NORTH
DORINE REACHER
61 1516
25  same Jeff Lamp’s Porsche
David Spinks
41 1507
26  up nO fucHs given
Paul Callaghan
51 1506
27  up Jarvis FC
Matt Jarvis
64 1500
28  down romeoshondavan
Rob Hewer
31 1500
29  down Have a little dink
Ian Williams
42 1499
30  up Hucking Fell
P Hawkins
77 1486
31  down RG XV
Ryan Garoghan
36 1482
32  down 30:19
Darren Lavelle
45 1480
33  down Shoelace Untied
Caroline Strong
58 1479
34  down Release The Hounds
Paul Mitchell
47 1464
35  same Golden Boys
Stephanie Cripps
37 1443
36  up I am not Zlatan
Colin Goulding
52 1442
37  down jetty city
scott mcgow
34 1435
38  up FTM
Stu Smith
74 1430
39  down Ciderheads
Darren Pope
22 1407
40  down Crazy Legs XI
David Caldicott
28 1400
41  same Pudding And Pie
John Seacroft
39 1398
42  same Bakerlona
Stuart Baker
30 1369
43  same Dj daz
darren frankland
38 1359
44  up Pepe Le Blue
DEAN CRIPPS
50 1340
45  down Real Jorvik
Simon Brown
38 1333
46  same Big White Chiefs
david frankland
41 1330
47  same Bermie Utd
Glen Davies
34 1302
48  up Pretty Schitty City
Alex Michaluk
60 1278
49  down bazza 28 united
laura barrett
28 1268
50  same Bish Bosh Goal
Simon Purnell
47 1256
51  up Racing Club Skegness
Andrew Swift
61 1202
52  down Jarv88
Paul Jarvis
48 1190
53  same DJ’s Trail Blazers
Danian Jones
37 1148

 

Hucking Fell make the best start to the six gameweek slog through April picking up 77 points. Our 2013 champs were one of only two teams to get above 70 points in one of those rare weeks in which defences ruled. Just over half of Hucking Fell’s points came from their back five. Their front six scored four goals between them but only picked up two bonus points.

Crystal Palace alerted managers to their potential usefulness in the upcoming double week with a surprise win over Chelsea, who have now gone seven gameweeks without a clean sheet. The odd manager has started the slow draft in of Palace and Boro players. Wilfried Zaha appeared to be the most popular and he was instrumental in the victory picking up 11 points. Boro also reminded us that their defence offers good cheap points with a goalless draw at Swansea. Against their relegation rivals they don’t concede too many and in between now and the end of the double gameweek they face Hull, Burnley, Bournemouth and Sunderland.

 

Player of the week – Miguel Britos – 15 points. The first Watford player of the week this season

Bargain of the week – Craig Cathcart – 11 points. And only their second bargain winner.

Donkey of the week – Harry Arter – -1 points. The ball is still rising.

Goal of the week – Wilfried Ndidi. They’ll be champions next season at this rate.

Gameweek 15 results

up Yeboah’s Right Foot
Paul Murray
99 855
down The Craggy Islanders
Adrian Roche
51 849
same Aquamar 15
Noel Driver
52 823
down QUEEN OF THE NORTH
DORINE REACHER
32 819
same Hedgehog Corpse FC
Nick Smith
46 813
up Kebab Eaters Utd
Paul Howard
49 811
down When Harry met Alli
Trevor Gordon
45 809
down 4 Fuchs Ake
Jason Earwicker
36 805
down Biscuitmen
Chris Morton
36 802
10  up Rip Roaring Reds
Sean Whyton
54 796
11  up Uriah Rennie 2nd XI
Neil Greenwood
47 788
12  down Edgbaston
Micheal Dinneen
40 783
13  same 30:19
Darren Lavelle
41 781
14  up greenyteamy
adam greenwood
70 779
15  up To Elland Back
Alan Hardy
57 773
16  up INIT FC
Mustafa khan
49 767
17  down Atlético Chappers
Richard Chapman
45 766
18  down Neil Madrid
Neil Strong
32 762
19  up Cooksters
Peter Cook
63 760
20  up Jeff Lamp’s Porsche
David Spinks
51 756
21  down Go Buffoons Go
Jitesh Lakhani
41 756
22  down Your Ad Here
Matthew Hopkins
54 755
23  down nO fucHs given
Paul Callaghan
39 750
24  down Joey Bosa
Paul Bentz
44 745
25  up Golden Boys
Stephanie Cripps
72 743
26  down RICO UNITED
JASON REACHER
44 739
27  up FC Caligula
Ajay Supeda
68 735
28  same Ciderheads
Darren Pope
49 727
29  down Crazy Legs XI
David Caldicott
45 725
30  up FTM
Stu Smith
61 724
31  down Hucking Fell
P Hawkins
41 721
32  down romeoshondavan
Rob Hewer
49 714
33  same Jarvis FC
Matt Jarvis
42 711
34  up Release The Hounds
Paul Mitchell
45 705
35  down RG XV
Ryan Garoghan
34 703
36  up Shoelace Untied
Caroline Strong
57 696
37  down Upper Bullens
Andy Taylor
44 693
38  up I am not Zlatan
Colin Goulding
45 683
39  down Have a little dink
Ian Williams
35 680
40  up Pretty Schitty City
Alex Michaluk
52 678
41  down Real Jorvik
Simon Brown
29 677
42  down jetty city
scott mcgow
46 677
43  up Big White Chiefs
david frankland
54 672
44  same Pepe Le Blue
DEAN CRIPPS
43 669
45  down Racing Club Skegness
Andrew Swift
21 648
46  same Bakerlona
Stuart Baker
52 642
47  up bazza 28 united
laura barrett
53 624
48  down Bermie Utd
Glen Davies
37 621
49  same DJ’s Trail Blazers
Danian Jones
38 608
50  up Pudding And Pie
John Seacroft
62 605
51  same Bish Bosh Goal
Simon Purnell
55 598
52  down Jarv88
Paul Jarvis
40 582
53  same Dj daz
darren frankland
57 572

 

It’s been an eventful week full of goals, particularly on Saturday, where eight of the twelve teams playing scored at least three times. Yet the average score was a very average sounding 46, and most of us hovered in and around that total come Sunday evening. Everyone in the world, no doubt, kept Alexis Sanchez as captain. A lone assist from the Arsenal striker got you 10 points, and not much more was offered from his elite player contemporaries. You had to go way out on a limb for big captain points this weekend. Either that, or be Yeboah’s Right Foot.

An amazing 99 points came courtesy of a team where all the stars aligned and every player but Etienne Capoue scored more than just their basic appearance points. Most notably, Wilfried Zaha, who apart from Sanchez, has the best stats in the game at the moment. Yeboah’s have persevered with Zaha from week one. It must have been tempting to boot out the Palace winger early doors, but in the last six weeks he’s scored 51 of his 72 points. It’s gone largely unnoticed by everyone that Palace have started scoring goals. In their latest goalfest Zaha picked up a season’s best 16 points. Yeboah’s finished with the 273rd best score in the world this weekend, flying to the top of Buckets and taking a clear lead in the race for December manager of the month.

 

Player of the week – Jamie Vardy – 17 points. A hat trick tearing Man City apart reminiscent of last season.

Bargain of the week – Wilfried Zaha – 16 points. Still on £5.5 million – expect that to rise.

Donkey of the week – Bacary Sagna – 0 points. Another depressing week for the Manchester City defence. Utterly useless fantasy fodder.

Goal of the week – Jeff Hendrick. First serious goal of the season contender.