Gameweek 27 results

February 25, 2019

1  same But Da Pitch Ain’t 1
Trev Reams
30 1696
2  same The Craggy Islanders
Adrian Roche
52 1682
3  same Perfidious Albion
Andrew Swift
36 1660
4  same Neil Madrid
Neil Strong
37 1634
5  same Bielsa Ringing
Alan Hardy
61 1622
6  up Shoelace Untied
Caroline Strong
43 1593
7  up FTM
Stu Smith
46 1583
8  same INIT FC
Mustafa khan
30 1576
9  up Edgbaston
Micheal Dinneen
36 1557
10  up King raggg
Steven Darling
47 1557
11  up Frostee Rucker
Paul Bentz
41 1547
12  up Deeney in a Bottle
Stephanie Cripps
38 1538
13  same FC Caligula
Ajay Supeda
34 1536
14  up Game of Stones
Ryan Garoghan
31 1521
15  up Rip Roaring Reds
Sean Whyton
62 1517
16  same SLABHEAD FC
Adam Burnett
25 1506
17  up Fake Madrid
Andrew Wade
45 1505
18  same Aribo Haribo
Paul Hawkins
45 1503
19  up Mour Salt and Pep
Noel Driver
41 1495
20  down Upper Bullens
Andy Taylor
36 1494
21  up Nashton Villa
Jaime Nash
32 1478
22  up RICO UNITED
JASON REACHER
48 1476
23  up Dinamo Spinks
David Spinks
33 1466
24  down Cookie fc
Peter Cook
25 1460
25  same Kompany & Co
DEAN CRIPPS
28 1458
26  up Musttryharder fc
Paul Telford
41 1443
27  up Pretty Schitty City
Alex Michaluk
32 1424
28  up Kebab Eaters Utd
Paul Howard
49 1422
29  up Your Ad Here
Matthew Hopkins
44 1420
30  up Atlético Chappers
Richard Chapman
86 1420
31  down Salah Buffoon!!!
Jitesh Lakhani
37 1419
32  down PenshawPerformers
david bruce
36 1416
33  same The Big Lewandowski
Paul Callaghan
42 1416
34  up Real Jorvik
Simon Brown
48 1413
35  down Need son luck
Matt Jarvis
39 1412
36  down El Loco No Joko
Paul Murray
44 1411
37  up Hemel Hotspurs
Paul Jarvis
50 1405
38  down Morningblues
Jeff Morning
28 1395
39  up romeoshondavan
Rob Hewer
41 1392
40  down Crazy Leg XI
David Caldicott
37 1390
41  down ClipityKlopptotitle
tanya thursby
38 1381
42  up Pique Blinders
Colin Goulding
45 1373
43  up QUEEN OF THE NORTH
DORINE REACHER
46 1372
44  down Dropit like its Hart
Jason Earwicker
29 1366
45  up Hoose Reus
James Whitfield
40 1347
46  up Greeeenteeam
adam greenwood
66 1330
47  same It’s coming home
scott mcgow
41 1318
48  up Puddle Splash Van
Ian Williams
32 1274
49  up The Mindless Morons
John Seacroft
31 1244
50  up Ross’s champions
darren frankland
38 1191

 

Buckets Cup 2nd round

It was a low scoring week all round and there wasn’t much to choose between any of the second round ties as a result. We had our first count back to decide a game. INIT and Da Pitch couldn’t be separated by goals, bonus or assists, so in a rule I just made up this afternoon Da Pitch progress due to scoring more points in the last round. Sorry INIT – unless you were willing to meet and fight then I figured this was the fairest way of doing things. Da Pitch advancing sets up a juicy looking quarter final match up against the Craggy Islanders who are hot their opponent’s heels at the top of the league table. We’ve also seen our first score to nil in the Buckets Cup. Thelma And Luiz, it seems, are no more. They’ve disappeared from the league and so Neil Madrid progress with the lowest winning score of the round.

Manager of the week – Atletico Chappers – Richard Chapman – 86 points

The worldwide average was only 35 points this week – a score that most Buckets teams hovered in and around. Atletico Chappers’ 86 point haul is twice as many as most other teams in the league and sees them climb 12 places into 30th – a (possibly) unprecedented leap at this stage of the season. Chappers brought in Gerard Deulefeu last week, obviously in anticipation of him posting the highest individual score of the season thus far, with his hat trick, assist and big bonus contribution for Watford against Cardiff. It’s not like there weren’t goals around this week. Six goals and four clean sheets in a week in which saw an average of three goals a game isn’t totally out of the ordinary. There were just too many blanks from the game’s elite bunch.

Player of the week – Gerard Deulefeu – Watford – 23 points

He’s literally done nothing for eight gameweeks. From what I can see, only two Buckets teams had him. You can probably pick them out. Apparently three players in the whole of the game had the gumption to triple captain him. Sometimes mad people are lucky.

Bargain of the week – Troy Deeney – Watford – 15 points

Unsurprisingly the other must-have player came from the same game. Deeney hasn’t done anything for seven gameweeks since his brace against Bournemouth. Only one Buckets team had him from what I can see. It’s not either of the teams with Deulefeu, so you should be able to work out which one that is as well.

Twat of the week – Tommy Smith – Huddersfield – -3 points

I’m running out of disparaging things to write about Huddersfield twats. Sent off in the 23rd minute. I imagine there weren’t too many managers suffering as a result of this. Does anyone own a Huddersfield defender anyway?

Goal of the week – No idea, was there one?

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Gameweek 8 results

October 8, 2018

1  up But Da Pitch Ain’t 1
Trev Reams
71 568
2  down Perfidious Albion
Andrew Swift
60 557
3  same Neil Madrid
Neil Strong
51 510
4  up Game of Stones
Ryan Garoghan
70 507
5  same SLABHEAD FC
Adam Burnett
61 507
6  up Thelma and Luiz
Trevor Gordon
68 507
7  down King raggg
Steven Darling
55 507
8  down Cookie fc
Peter Cook
60 505
9  up Deeney in a Bottle
Stephanie Cripps
76 494
10  up Edgbaston
Micheal Dinneen
71 491
11  down FC Caligula
Ajay Supeda
62 491
12  down Need son luck
Matt Jarvis
56 483
13  down The Craggy Islanders
Adrian Roche
49 480
14  down Bielsa Ringing
Alan Hardy
47 466
15  up Upper Bullens
Andy Taylor
55 464
16  up RICO UNITED
JASON REACHER
58 459
17  down Mour Salt and Pep
Noel Driver
50 457
18  up Frostee Rucker
Paul Bentz
58 454
19  up Pretty Schitty City
Alex Michaluk
56 453
20  down PenshawPerformers
david bruce
50 453
21  down The Big Lewandowski
Paul Callaghan
35 448
22  up Kompany & Co
DEAN CRIPPS
58 445
23  down Musttryharder fc
Paul Telford
32 441
23  up romeoshondavan
Rob Hewer
62 441
25  up FTM
Stu Smith
64 435
26  up CAS Vampire Slayers
Mustafa khan
49 435
26  down Your Ad Here
Matthew Hopkins
47 435
28  up Fake Madrid
Andrew Wade
68 425
28  up Pique Blinders
Colin Goulding
50 425
30  up Crazy Leg XI
David Caldicott
52 423
31  down Hoose Reus
James Whitfield
32 423
32  up Shoelace Untied
Caroline Strong
66 418
33  down Aribo Haribo
Paul Hawkins
38 417
34  down QUEEN OF THE NORTH
DORINE REACHER
28 414
35  down Bakerlona
Stuart Baker
40 414
36  up Dropit like its Hart
Jason Earwicker
65 414
37  up Rip Roaring Reds
Sean Whyton
67 409
38  same ClipityKlopptotitle
tanya thursby
53 408
39  up Dinamo Spinks
David Spinks
53 408
40  down Real Jorvik
Simon Brown
44 405
41  up Salah Buffoon!!!
Jitesh Lakhani
90 401
42  up El Loco No Joko
Paul Murray
56 400
43  down Greeeenteeam
adam greenwood
51 398
44  down Morningblues
Jeff Morning
31 397
45  up It’s coming home
scott mcgow
57 389
46  down Atlético Chappers
Richard Chapman
50 387
47  down Nashton Villa
Jaime Nash
29 384
48  same Kebab Eaters Utd
Paul Howard
54 376
49  up The Mindless Morons
John Seacroft
60 372
50  down Hemel Hotspurs
Paul Jarvis
46 365
51  same Puddle Splash Van
Ian Williams
50 358
52  same Ross’s champions
darren frankland
54 343

 

Manager of the week – Jitesh Lakhani – Salah Buffoon!!! – 90 points

We’re banging the high scores in week after week. Another 90+ score to win the weekly accolade. Bigger scores were achieved, as in Salah Buffoon!!!’s case, with the right captain choice of the two most popular this week. Harry Kane trolled the majority by not only not scoring, or even getting close, but by also picking up a yellow. Eden Hazard did what it appears he might do every week and put in a man of the match performance adding 14 more points to his total. Hazard is this season’s Salah. He’s never been more essential, posting returns in every gameweek bar one, adding £0.8 million to his value already. Elsewhere the Buffoons scored with three Wolves players, which is becoming template, Callum Wilson, the unlikely king of the assists and Alexandre Lacazette, who is quietly totting the goals up for an Arsenal team that no-one dare mention as title contenders.

Player of the week – Matt Doherty – Wolverhampton Wanderers – 15 points

As essential as Hazard in many ways, for his price and now his scoring rate. Only Hazard can better Doherty’s three double figure returns. This is is highest score to date, and takes him to third in the defender ranks. It’s a good season for attacking wing backs and it means you don’t necessarily need all three of Mendy, Robertson and Alonso.

Bargain of the week – Callum Wilson – Bournemouth – 14 points

Three goals ain’t bad but seven assists is bloody marvelous. Bournemouth are free scoring, hitting four for the second time this season. He and strike partner Josh King scored 27 points between them this week and have 91 points between them overall. A double pronged Bournemouth attack looks like a good proposition.

Twat of the week – Christian Kabasele – Watford – -4 points

You’ve got to go some to get a minus four. Well done son. Watford were twat team of the season last time out and this makes up for their totally twat free start to the season.

Goal of the week – Gylfi Sigurdsson. 49s in.

Gameweek 1 results

August 13, 2018

1  new Perfidious Albion
Andrew Swift
102 102
2  new But Da Pitch Ain’t 1
Trev Reams
93 93
3  new Game of Stones
Ryan Garoghan
92 92
4  new RICO UNITED
JASON REACHER
91 91
5  new FC Caligula
Ajay Supeda
89 89
6  new The Craggy Islanders
Adrian Roche
84 84
6  new King raggg
Steven Darling
84 84
8  new QUEEN OF THE NORTH
DORINE REACHER
82 82
9  new Neil Madrid
Neil Strong
81 81
10  new CAS Vampire Slayers
Mustafa khan
77 77
10  new Crazy Leg XI
David Caldicott
77 77
12  new The Big Lewandowski
Paul Callaghan
74 74
12  new Edgbaston
Micheal Dinneen
74 74
14  new Frostee Rucker
Paul Bentz
73 73
15  new Deeney in a Bottle
Stephanie Cripps
72 72
16  new ClipityKlopptotitle
tanya thursby
71 71
17  new DoubleDee
Noel Driver
70 70
18  new Your Ad Here
Matthew Hopkins
69 69
19  new Aribo Haribo
Paul Hawkins
68 68
20  new Hoose Reus
James Whitfield
67 67
21  new PenshawPerformers
david bruce
65 65
22  new Upper Bullens
Andy Taylor
64 64
22  new romeoshondavan
Rob Hewer
64 64
24  new Kebab Eaters Utd
Paul Howard
63 63
25  new Thelma and Luiz
Trevor Gordon
61 61
25  new Bielsa Ringing
Alan Hardy
61 61
27  new Dropit like its Hart
Jason Earwicker
58 58
28  new Dinamo Spinks
David Spinks
57 57
28  new Need son luck
Matt Jarvis
57 57
30  new Musttryharder fc
Paul Telford
56 56
31  new Shoelace Untied
Caroline Strong
54 54
32  new Cookie fc
Peter Cook
53 53
32  new SLABHEAD FC
Adam Burnett
53 53
34  new Hemel Hotspurs
Paul Jarvis
52 52
34  new Fake Madrid
Andrew Wade
52 52
34  new Pretty Schitty City
Alex Michaluk
52 52
34  new Rip Roaring Reds
Sean Whyton
52 52
38  new Nashton Villa
Jaime Nash
51 51
39  new Kompany & Co
DEAN CRIPPS
49 49
40  new Bakerlona
Stuart Baker
48 48
40  new El Loco No Joko
Paul Murray
48 48
42  new Real Jorvik
Simon Brown
47 47
43  new Atlético Chappers
Richard Chapman
46 46
43  new Puddle Splash Van
Ian Williams
46 46
45  new It’s coming home
scott mcgow
45 45
46  new Salah Buffoon!!!
Jitesh Lakhani
43 43
46  new FTM
Stu Smith
43 43
46  new Pique Blinders
Colin Goulding
43 43
49  new The Mindless Morons
John Seacroft
42 42
50  new Morningblues
Jeff Morning
37 37
51  new Ross’s champions
darren frankland
32 32
52  new Greeeenteeam
adam greenwood
27 27

 

Manager of the week – Perfidious Albion – Andrew Swift – 102 points

An early contender for the highest weekly score prize. Don’t be surprised if Perfidious Albion are still sat at the top of that particular pile come double gameweek season. The worldwide average was 53 points – a total that over half of our managers achieved. Perfidious’ masterstroke was avoiding Mo Salah (or not being able to afford Mo Salah) and sticking the armband on Sadio Mane instead. They also bagged 33 points from three defenders and were one of the only managers to pick Aaron Wan Bissaka instead of benching him. Seven of the top ten could have been 12 points better off if they’d promoted the young Palace defender. Perfidious themselves, however, could have been 14 points better off had they plumped for Benjamin Mendy over Harry Kane. Strikers were a real let down this week. The highest scoring was Callum Wilson with 8 points. No striker made double figures. Contrast that with 8 double figure scoring defenders and 6 in the midfield.

An honorable mention to our highest scoring newcomer, But Da Pitch Ain’t 1, who sit in second with 93 points. They tripled up on Liverpool and Manchester City, captaining Salah, and having the same Wan Bissaka foresight as Perfidious.

Player of the week – Roberto Pereyra – Watford – 16 points

Bargain of the week – Jose Holebas – Watford 13 points

Aside Mane’s 16 points for his brace against West Ham, Watford’s Roberto Pereyra returned the same total with the same stats. He was assisted for both goals by Jose Holebas. There’ll no doubt be a few early kneejerk reactions to their performances. They’re as good a bet as anyone at their price point and their next two fixtures offer some points potential. It gets a bit tougher for them from week 4 onward though.

Twat of the week – Phil Jagielka – Everton – -3 points

Phil Jagielka’s season may only last 39 minutes. Expect new signing Yerry Mina to make his bow next week and Jagielka to warm the bench from now on.

Goal of the week – Ruben Neves

He’s £5 million. For now.

 

Season review

May 14, 2018

1  same The Vinegar Pissers
P Hawkins
84 2289
2  same Nashton Villa
Jaime Nash
65 2253
3  same Edgbaston
Micheal Dinneen
67 2251
4  same Despicable Mee
Trevor Gordon
67 2250
5  same FC Caligula
Ajay Supeda
86 2245
6  same The Craggy Islanders
Adrian Roche
65 2216
7  same Hornets
Andrew Wade
76 2215
8  up INIT FC
Mustafa khan
74 2193
9  down Brexiter City
Colin Goulding
52 2184
10  up It’sOnlyAGameFarke!
David Spinks
66 2156
11  up Rico united
JASON REACHER
71 2155
12  up The winnings R mine
david bruce
71 2148
13  down greenyteamy
adam greenwood
51 2139
14  down Fun Lovren Criminals
Paul Callaghan
34 2134
15  up Game of Throw-Ins
Ryan Garoghan
73 2133
16  same Queen of the north
DORINE REACHER
55 2125
17  down Emergency Gap Jumper
Ian Williams
54 2125
18  same Kebab Eaters Utd
Paul Howard
60 2108
19  same Pure Buffoonery!
Jitesh Lakhani
54 2103
20  up We are Ayling
Paul Murray
68 2095
21  up Your Ad Here
Matthew Hopkins
88 2094
22  up Gotta Light?
Andrew Swift
66 2089
23  down Shoelace Untied
Caroline Strong
53 2089
24  down Klopp of the Pochs
Jason Earwicker
58 2082
25  down Rip Roaring Reds
Sean Whyton
48 2078
26  down Atlético Chappers
Richard Chapman
55 2073
27  up Flying squad
Matt Jarvis
87 2072
28  up Pretty Schitty City
Alex Michaluk
85 2065
29  down To Elland Back
Alan Hardy
69 2061
30  up Neil Madrid
Neil Strong
84 2061
31  down Golden Boys
Stephanie Cripps
55 2052
32  up King Dunlap
Paul Bentz
80 2050
33  same mrs mcgoo
laura barrett
70 2048
34  down Aquamar 1564
Noel Driver
43 2035
35  same Crazylegs XI
David Caldicott
57 2021
36  same blakes11
Steven Darling
54 1998
37  same musttryharder FC
Paul Telford
52 1995
38  same Kompany & Co
DEAN CRIPPS
58 1983
39  same FTM
Stu Smith
55 1980
40  up Jarv88
Paul Jarvis
85 1918
41  down iamgroot
scott mcgow
56 1903
42  up romeoshondavan
Rob Hewer
66 1898
43  up Upper Bullens
Andy Taylor
69 1896
44  down cookster fc
Peter Cook
50 1895
45  same disco dancer
darren frankland
61 1879
46  same Pudding And Pie
John Seacroft
52 1848
47  same Bakerlona FC
Stuart Baker
59 1829
48  same Release The Hounds
Paul Mitchell
50 1799
49  same Real Jorvik
Simon Brown
50 1752
50  same Biscuitmen
Chris Morton
71 1653

 

Winners – The Vinegar Pissers 

The third manager to pick up their second title scoring the second highest finishing total. The Vinegar Pissers only spent six weeks outside of our top 10, first taking root in GW5. They did drop to the depths of 11th and 12th, before permanently floating around 6th until gameweek 29, when a manager of the week performance saw them rise to third. Then GW31 – only four games – but a Mohamed Salah masterclass and everybody’s posting 100+ totals and challenging for the highest weekly score prize. The VP’s kicked arse with 124 points from eight players, 58 of which came from Salah. That put them at the top of the league and that’s where they stayed – and in truth, no-one really got that close to them. Congratulations to the Pissers. They got as high as 8,202nd in the world, never took more than a four point hit, played their triple captain and bench boost in the run in and utilised their free hit well, picking up a good score with it and a green arrow just before Christmas. Interestingly, they played their wildcards at almost the earliest possibly opportunity on both occasions. Proving that there is still no logic to this game and it’s all complete luck.

Runners up – Nashton Villa, Edgbaston and Despicable Mee 

Our Champions League qualifiers all had similar seasons, making their surge into the top ten and then the top four at around the same time. It was during March that they all lost ground on the VPs and were left desperately trying to claw back the points lost during gameweeks 29 and 31 – the two weeks that definitely won the VP’s that manager of the month, and arguably won them the league. It was a superb debut season for Nashton who reached their highest worldwide position after GW37, but were unable to continue the rise and challenge for the top spot. They would have had to surpass the 100 point mark in GW38 to knock our champions off their perch.

Edgbaston have finally crept into our top four after two consecutive 5th place finishes, despite finishing lower in the world rankings than in both of their last two attempts. And fourth placed Despicable Mee are regressing. Two consecutive runners up placings and now fourth place. Once always the bridesmaid – now a distant uncle only invited because they had a space to fill. In all seriousness – if one of these two doesn’t win this title soon, I’d be very surprised.

The rest

There were valiant efforts by two former champs who just ran out of steam at the last knockings – FC Caligula and The Craggy Islanders finished 5th and 6th respectively. We’re sure to see them in the running next season. Hornets, a total rookie FPL debutant, who were top every week bar three between gameweeks 2 and 29, finished in a respectable 7th. By gameweek 16 they had climbed to 1,663rd in the world, as high (possibly) as any Buckets manager has been, but they peaked too early. Better understanding of the chips and when to play them might serve them better next season. The rest of us – probably got stung by Harry Kane once too often, and only realised when it was too late that they should have had Mo Salah as captain EVERY WEEK.

The awards

We had more managers of the week scoring 100+ scores than in any previous season. The Vinegar Pissers’ 124 point score was the second highest weekly winning score, but falls way behind their own record set in the 2013-2014 season when they managed 165 points in a week in which virtually everybody passed the 100 point barrier following a mammoth double gameweek. That same season produced the highest winning finishing score in our league of 2356 points. Despite there being more 100+ weekly winners in this season, The VPs finished 67 points behind that total. It’s worth noting that the 124 points scored in GW31 was done so from only four games. Another thirteen of our fifty teams passed the century mark that week. And most of them were only fielding bit part teams.

We had ten different managers of the month, six managers taking two weekly accolades, but only one, The bloody Vinegar Pissers, managing three highest weekly scores. Shoelace Untied took the December prize, accumulating 477 points for the month – the highest ever monthly total.

The players

We may have fallen just short of breaking our manager records this season, but the reason we got so close was largely due to one player – Mohamed Salah. He became the first player to pass 300 points for the season. No-one else came close – which may explain why we didn’t quite eclipse the higher scores from four years ago. Back then, in the ‘Suarez’ season, there was a great supporting cast, with the likes of Daniel Sturridge, Steven Gerrard, Raheem Sterling, Robin Van Persie, Yaya Toure and Eden Hazard all scoring big, playing consistently and featuring in a lot of teams. This season only Harry Kane, Sterling and Kevin De Bruyne passed the 200 point mark. Despite Kane running Salah (fairly) close in the golden boot chase, he was still close to 100 points behind. Which says more about the frustrating, annoying, inconsistent, trolling season the Spurs striker had. Nowt for weeks then just when you get sick of it all three frickin’ hat tricks…or whatever it was. Dickhead. Still – he’ll be in from the start next season.

Kane picked up more player of the week awards (three) than anyone else. Salah, who only scored more than anyone else once throughout the whole season, was much more consistent. A goal every week rather than three and a gap. And lets mention GW31 again – 29 points – the highest ever single match gameweek score. Sergio Aguero, Heung-Min Son and Marko Arnautovic were the only other players to get two player of the week awards. Tottenham won the award six times ahead of Chelsea with five, and then perhaps surprisingly, Manchester City, with only four winners. Ayoze Perez, Federico Fernandez and Callum Wilson showed up on the bargain list more than once and Newcastle appeared to be the best go-to cheapo team, winning the award five times over the course of the season. Watford were king of the twats offering up six ‘worst of the week’, with Jose Holebas winning the award twice. Jack Stephens also won it twice – and in consecutive weeks, so well done to him. Manchester City did dominate the goal of the week contenders with eight wins, but anyone who tells you that Jamie Vardy’s over the shoulder volley against West Brom in GW30 isn’t the goal of the season, is some kind of goon.

Debatable team of the season

  • GK – David De Gea – 172 points

No arguments here, although Lorus Karius did pick up more points per match of all keepers playing more than 10 games. Karius and Mignolet played half a season each – 19 games a piece. Mignolet scored on average 1.1 points per game less and kept three less clean sheets – although still 7 out of 19 which is pretty respectable.

  • DR – Cesar Azpilicueta – 175 points
  • DL – Marcos Alonso – 165 points
  • DC – Nicolas Otamendi – 156 points
  • DC – Jan Vertonghen – 138 points

Antonio Valencia, Ben Davies and Kyle Walker all scored more than Vertonghen, but none are central defenders. In the favoured three at the back, you’d probably have to drop Alonso. He hasn’t scored enough to warrant his usual left wing back position ahead of the highest scoring midfielders either…coming up next. Andrew Robertson missed 16 games and Phil Jones missed 15 games, but both beat all of the above, other than Alonso, in points per game. Jones managed 15 clean sheets in his 23 games. Basically – if he didn’t play – United usually conceded.

  • DM – Luca Milivojevic – 144 points
  • CM – Kevin De Bruyne – 209 points
  • AM – Mohamed Salah – 303 points
  • AM – Raheem Sterling – 229 points
  • AM – Christian Eriksen – 199 points

Obviously, this is where it all gets a bit ‘debatable’. No real team is complete without some kind of defensive holding player, so when you see the PFA team of the year, and it’s basically a goalkeeper and 10 attackers, you do wonder if they ever really watch the game. But then if you were going to stick a defensive midfielder in there, you wouldn’t necessarily be basing their inclusion on their fantasy points total, seeing as how nothing they do is ever taken into consideration when the scores are totted up. You’d just pick N’Golo Kante and move on wouldn’t you? Milivojevic is definitely worth a mention though. Arguably the most reliable penalty taker in the league, double figures for goals and in the top 10 for bonuses.

  • CF – Harry Kane – 217 points

His best goalscoring season but not his his best fantasy season. Too many braces and hat tricks, if their can be such a thing, and not enough consistency. Kane would go missing for weeks, but then burst back into life racking up the highest bonus score too. It was all about catching him on a good day. He blanked in 19 gameweeks – half a season. Salah failed to score anything other than appearance points in only 10 games. Aguero, and latterly, Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang, finished the season with more points per match. There’s your front three for August.

 

 

Player awards

Gameweek 18 results

December 19, 2017

1  same Hornets
Andrew Wade
46 1057
2  same greenyteamy
adam greenwood
46 1041
3  up Despicable Mee
Trevor Gordon
81 1019
4  down Gotta Light?
Andrew Swift
57 1017
5  up Nashton Villa
Jaime Nash
58 993
6  down The Vinegar Pissers
P Hawkins
46 986
7  up The Craggy Islanders
Adrian Roche
71 985
8  same Fun Lovren Criminals
Paul Callaghan
47 982
9  down Crazylegs XI
David Caldicott
38 981
10  down Brexiter City
Colin Goulding
45 979
11  same Edgbaston
Micheal Dinneen
56 975
12  up Rip Roaring Reds
Sean Whyton
64 965
13  down Kompany & Co
DEAN CRIPPS
51 957
14  up INIT FC
Mustafa khan
79 953
15  same King Dunlap
Paul Bentz
59 949
16  same Queen of the north
DORINE REACHER
68 948
17  up Neil Madrid
Neil Strong
78 946
18  up It’sOnlyAGameFarke!
David Spinks
71 943
19  down Golden Boys
Stephanie Cripps
64 942
20  down Atlético Chappers
Richard Chapman
48 939
21  same We are Ayling
Paul Murray
67 935
22  down Game of Throw-Ins
Ryan Garoghan
53 931
23  up Rico united
JASON REACHER
67 930
24  down The winnings R mine
david bruce
63 927
25  up Aquamar 1564
Noel Driver
69 921
26  down FC Caligula
Ajay Supeda
49 909
27  same Kebab Eaters Utd
Paul Howard
59 907
28  up Klopp of the Pochs
Jason Earwicker
59 905
29  up musttryharder FC
Paul Telford
76 903
30  down cookster fc
Peter Cook
43 898
31  up Upper Bullens
Andy Taylor
91 893
32  same Pretty Schitty City
Alex Michaluk
55 892
33  down Your Ad Here
Matthew Hopkins
53 891
34  down Flying squad
Matt Jarvis
47 888
35  down Pure Buffoonery!
Jitesh Lakhani
54 881
36  same Shoelace Untied
Caroline Strong
54 878
37  up Bakerlona FC
Stuart Baker
59 873
38  down Jarv88
Paul Jarvis
38 867
39  up Release The Hounds
Paul Mitchell
52 861
40  down To Elland Back
Alan Hardy
42 857
41  up FTM
Stu Smith
73 857
42  up Emergency Gap Jumper
Ian Williams
67 857
43  down romeoshondavan
Rob Hewer
39 855
44  up blakes11
Steven Darling
102 851
45  down Real Jorvik
Simon Brown
40 850
46  down Pudding And Pie
John Seacroft
37 817
47  down mrs mcgoo
laura barrett
40 802
48  down iamgroot
scott mcgow
42 793
49  same disco dancer
darren frankland
59 772
50  same Biscuitmen
Chris Morton
56 699

 

Manager of the week – Blakes11 – Steven Darling – 102 points

From out of nowhere Blakes11 finally get the hang of making transfers. In as much as they made one and chalked up the equal highest score of the year. In previous gameweeks they’d taken 64, 20, 16 and 12 point hits. I have no idea whether any of those were by accident or by design. The 20 point hit actually saw their overall league position rise. And they still haven’t played their wildcard. BLAKES11 – PLAY YOUR WILDCARD. They attempted the free hit in gmeweek 5 to no real avail. And yet – this week – one transfer – 102 points. But – have they done enough to put themselves in the box seat for the highest weekly score prize? Well, yes. Nashton Villa’s 102 point haul came in gameweek 12. In which they scored four goals. Blakes11 beat that by scoring an amazing seven goals. And looking at the team they have assembled at the moment, I wouldn’t be surprised to see them climbing higher than the 44th place in which they find themselves at the moment. Providing they don’t have any more transfer meltdowns.

Player of the week – Aaron Mooy – 15 points

It’s another bumper week for Huddersfield – who are becoming very, very difficult to predict. They’re either thumping teams – or getting thumped. This week Watford were on the receiving end – picking up their customary red card and twat award (see below). Mooy is their top scorer and his price has fluctuated in accordance with his form. Their current good(ish) run has seen them climb back into mid table safety. Mooy comes in currently at £5.3 million, so could definitely be worth a punt, particularly with him being fairly consistently on set piece and penalty duty.

Bargain of the week – Laurent Depoitre – 13 points

Lumbered his way to a goal and two assists which should secure his the centre forward place for another week. He and Steve Mounie have been vying for the position and taking it in turns to look unplayable one week, whilst being invisible the next.

Twat of the week – Troy Deeney – -2 points

Invariably a Watford player losing his head. Troy Deeney’s been a washed up fantasy asset for a season or two now. As long as Richarlison and Abdoulaye Doucoure keep on playing their way through the season instead of kicking lumps out of the opposition, Watford may stay up and may retain some fantasy worth.

Goal of the week – Mesut Ozil. 1m27s.

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