|51||The Mindless Morons
Manager of the week – Upper Bullens – Andy Taylor – 95 points
Storming starts by lots of managers all thanks to doubling and tripling up on the two title favourites. Six goals for Liverpool without reply and eight for Manchester City with a single goal in the against column have helped towards some impressive looking totals in the first two weeks. There were three more 90+ scores and over half of us topping the 60 point average. And most of those were as a result of having Sergio Aguero as captain. The home tie against Huddersfield was too much to resist and the City striker duly delivered to the tune of 40 points with the armband. Bullens were the best with Marcos Alonso contributing 13 points and being one of only two players to post two double figure scores; and Richarlison scoring his third goal of the season and adding 9 more points to the 14 he got last week. They move up to eighth overall and lie just over 30 points behind the leaders, Perifidious Albion, who opted for a curious wildcard and could have surpassed the century mark again had they captained Sergio over that Harry Kane bloke. I’m not having that prick anywhere near my team this year.
Player of the week – Sergio Aguero – Manchester City – 20 points
This year’s Kane? Blanks then hat tricks. Then blanks. Then hat tricks. As long as it’s alternate weeks. Given the run of fixtures City have, it could be every week. They don’t get tough till October. The run till then sees them take on the other five promoted teams of the last two seasons.
Bargain of the week – Neil Etheridge – Cardiff City – 16 points
The goalkeeper no-one wanted. The goalkeeper with twice as many points as pretty much every other keeper. How long can that last? As long as Cardiff keep conceding penalties – it can last forever.
Twat of the week – Terence Kongolo – Huddersfield Town – -3 points
Huddersfield started last season with a run of clean sheets. Although that was never likely to happen coming up against Chelsea and City in their first two games, it looks like, with nine goals conceded, that they’re the team to avoid for defensive options. Five of the seven defenders that have turned out for them so far this season still haven’t made it past 0 points. Three of them have minus scores. One of them is Terence Kongolo.
Goal of the week – Will Hughes.