Gameweek 27 results

For the second week running our highest scorers come from the distant land of page 2. Mister D earn their place on the roll of honour with a 72 point haul. It’s worth mentioning ShakeitDown’s performance again. Surely their charge for the title has come a tad too late. Our bottom placed team registered 68 points, the third highest Buckets total of the week – for the second consecutive week. In GW26 they played their triple captain chip on TAA. They kept the armband on him to the tune of 20 points this week. Surely it’s time to start seriously considering the Liverpool man for the double points every week. Even when they concede he invariably chips in with assists. It’s been 12 gameweeks since he failed to register a return. Ridiculous.

1
Nashton Villa
Jaime Nash
61 1600
2
Game of Stones
Ryan Garoghan
56 1594
3
FC Caligula
Ajay Supeda
62 1583
4
DaSilvaortheFreD
Stephen Papadopoulos
49 1566
5
Locky Bauer Bowyer
Paul Hawkins
52 1558
6
Edgbaston
Micheal Dinneen
62 1548
7
BASHAM’S ARRIVING!
Tim Dodd
62 1548
8
Rip Roaring Reds
Sean Whyton
57 1546
9
Atlético Chappers
Richard Chapman
41 1528
10
Sterling Silva
DEAN CRIPPS
38 1525


Mister D’s impressive late run of scoring has kept them in contention for the cup, progressing as the lowest ranked side left. Nashton are still in with a chance of the double but face a stern test in the shape of Basham’s Arriving in the next round. Basham’s have equaled Nashton’s rise over the last six gameweeks, climbing 200,000 places in the overall rankings. 

 

Manager of the week – Mister D – Mister D Boy – 72 points

Player of the week – Diogo Jota – Wolverhampton Wanderers – 16 points

Bargain of the week – Romain Saiss – Wolverhampton Wanderers – 11 points

Twat of the week – Valentino Lazaro – Newcastle United – -1 points

Goal of the week – Dominic Calvert-Lewin

Gameweek 26 results

Hi. Remember me. The longest, most arduous, painful, wet and windy gameweek in history has finally come to a close. It started on the 8th February. Before weather had been invented and Manchester City had something to play for. And finally ended last night. I’ll be honest, I have absolutely no recollection of the first few games. We had a game postponed – then rearranged, thankfully within the same gameweek. Only in this country could we have a winter break and still have a game postponed?! Last night’s rearranged fixture gave us another KDB masterclass. Particularly pleasing for those that gave him the armband. Whatever the uncertainty at City at the moment – he stays.

And we have new leaders…

Nashton have been threatening to rise to the top. They’ve bagged green arrows in nine of the last eleven weeks, scoring above average in ten of those weeks. Their nearest challenger in the top ten this week was 14 points adrift of their 77 point total. They’ve finished top ten in each of the last two manager of the month tables and are in with a chance of finally scooping a prize in this one. They have their second wildcard remaining, but are out of chips. Have they disarmed themselves? How are they going to negotiate the doubles and blanks?

1
Nashton Villa
Jaime Nash
77 1539
2
Game of Stones
Ryan Garoghan
50 1538
3
FC Caligula
Ajay Supeda
63 1525
4
DaSilvaortheFreD
Stephen Papadopoulos
53 1517
5
Locky Bauer Bowyer
Paul Hawkins
47 1506
6
Atlético Chappers
Richard Chapman
43 1491
7
BASHAM’S ARRIVING!
Tim Dodd
60 1490
8
Rip Roaring Reds
Sean Whyton
45 1489
9
Sterling Silva
DEAN CRIPPS
57 1487
10
Edgbaston
Micheal Dinneen
62 1486

Highest scorer this week is Real Jorvik, all the way down on page two. They captained KDB and picked up five bonus-strewn clean sheets. There were four 80+ scores this week, with all four teams in the bottom half of the table – two of them on page two – and including wooden spooners, ShakeItDown, who amassed 83 points thanks to a TAA triple captain punt, a triple Liverpool defence and nine out of their ten (yes, just ten) players returning something. The other two 80+ers were Rico United and Queen Of The North. It’s a shame three of the four are out of the cup. These mega-scores came a week too late.

Talking of which, we’ve had a few surprise results and early exits in the knockout competition this gameweek. Only three of the current top ten remain in the hunt. Red n White are the lowest ranked side left – and are still going strong in the Last Man Standing. Long time leaders, Locky’s were knocked out by Mister D, currently in 56th place.

Manager of the week – Real Jorvik – Simon Brown – 87 points

Player of the week – Nicolas Pepe – Arsenal – 17 points

Bargain of the week – Dominic Calvert-Lewin – Everton – 11 points

Twat of the week – Adrian Mariappa – Watford – -1 points

Goal of the week – Matej Vydra. 1m31s in. 

Gameweek 24 and January Manager of the Month results

The week (or fortnight) in which it all changed. Liverpool’s double gameweek. Probably not their last of the season but that didn’t stop the majority of us and the rest of the world jumping on the prospect of some massive scores from the runaway Premier League leaders, particularly in their match against West Ham. Some major transfer activity ensued. Can we squeeze in three Reds players? It was a move made easier by timely injuries to Jamie Vardy and Marcus Rashford. And then the triple captains started landing. You had a choice, depending on the make up of your team and your propensity for a bit of gambling, of sticking it on one of six players – two obvious and four hipster. There shouldn’t have been a massive amount of difference between picking Mo Salah and Sadio Mane. Stats would suggest that both would return something. Roberto Firmino carried slightly more risk, but this is the guy that only scores in away games. He could be the key to a sneaky rank rise if the majority banked on the other two. Or dare you captain a defender? TAA, Robertson and Van Dijk are virtual ever-presents in the middle of an astounding run of clean-sheet shenanigans. Add to that the full-backs’ assist potential.

270,000 managers compared to 220,000 opted for Mane over Salah as their triple captain. The split in the top 100 was 40 to 39 in favour of the Senegalese. Over a million compared to 940,000 went with the standard captain choice on Mane. Selecting Sadio Mane WAS NOT A BAD IDEA. Keep telling yourself that. In the end the best choice was Jordan Henderson, who equaled Salah’s score, but at well under half the price. 

So, selecting Salah would have got you 48 points to Mane’s 3, and it’s pretty easy, scanning the Buckets league to pick out those that went with the former over the latter. That 45 point difference is evident in a lot of scores. Most notably, right at the top. We have new leaders, and instantly by some distance. Game Of Stones got it right. Locky Bauer Bowyer did not.

1
Game of Stones
Ryan Garoghan
811431
2
Locky Bauer Bowyer
Paul Hawkins
441408
3
FC Caligula
Ajay Supeda
811402
4
DaSilvaortheFreD
Stephen Papadopoulos
841394
5
Nashton Villa
Jaime Nash
701393
6
Atlético Chappers
Richard Chapman
701389
7
Rip Roaring Reds
Sean Whyton
771381
8
Sterling Silva
DEAN CRIPPS
371378
9
BASHAM’S ARRIVING!
Tim Dodd
791378
10
Edgbaston
Micheal Dinneen
541367

Considering what was expected of the week, the scores were, on the whole, a bit underwhelming. The average was a disappointing 55 points. But for the Liverpool v West Ham game, in which Salah’s haul and the clean sheet justified the non-Mane captainers selections, the rest of the week was pretty soul-destroying. Southampton and Burnley returned unexpected clean sheets, Everton lost one in the final minute to a Florian Lejeune double. I mean, we all saw that one coming didn’t we? There was a Leicester goal blitz but with no involvement from either Vardy or Maddison – and then they conceded. Most teams are littered with one and two point hauls plus whatever Liverpool returns you managed.

Our top scorers were FTM and Chef Utd. Both hit 89 points. FTM win the place on the honours board courtesy of the four goals they scored to Chef Utd’s two. To contradict everything I’ve just said about the gameweek, they only relied on two Liverpool assets and got pretty good returns out of the rest of their squad. They could even afford to have a 10 point Jorginho haul sat on their bench. They become the first three-time manager of the week winners this season.

Manager of the month went to The Craggy Islanders. Despite the contrasting scores and fortunes of a lot of teams in the league, the standings didn’t alter much from last week to this. Most of those in contention posted scores in the 70s and 80s, suggesting they all got their double gameweek picks just about right. The Islanders triple captained Salah.

1
The Craggy Islanders
Adrian Roche
81271
2
Alisson Wonderland
Scott Denyer
85264
3
BASHAM’S ARRIVING!
Tim Dodd
79254
4
Game of Stones
Ryan Garoghan
81253
5
DaSilvaortheFreD
Stephen Papadopoulos
84252
6
Rip Roaring Reds
Sean Whyton
77251

The Buckets Cup starts next gameweek. So if you’re cursing your Mane luck, put that behind you and focus on the cup. To confirm, the three teams with a bye to the second round are The Craggy Islanders, as last years winners, and Cook Pass Babtridge and Locky Bauer Bowyer as the two highest weekly scores so far this season. Check the cup link for the draw. Also, it’s worth mentioning that the Last Man Standing competition is now past half way. We have 30 teams left. Nine of our current top ten remain, with Edgbaston being a casualty in GW18. Ren n White, currently in 59th place, are the lowest team still (just about) standing. Check that link to see if you’re still there. 

 

January manager of the month – Adrian Roche – The Craggy Islanders – 271 points

Manager of the week – Stu Smith – FTM – 89 points (4 goals)

Player of the week – Jordan Henderson – Liverpool – 16 points

Bargain of the week – Florian Lejeune – Newcastle United – 14 points

Twat of the week – David Luiz – Arsenal – -3 points

Goal of the week – Jay Rodriguez

Gameweek 19 results

The week in which Liverpool won the title. The week in which Trent Alexander-Arnold broke FPL. If you had him – green arrow and a massive rank rise. For the rest of us, weeks and weeks of good work undone in one 90 minute display. The Liverpool right back (imagine running a game from right back) collected the highest weekly score of the season so far with 24 points. It’ll take a double gameweek score to beat that. Probably his own double gameweek score in GW24. Liverpool and West Ham will play their rescheduled fixture then.

1
Locky Bauer Bowyer
Paul Hawkins
62 1162
2
Sterling Silva
DEAN CRIPPS
50 1111
3
Game of Stones
Ryan Garoghan
44 1107
4
FC Caligula
Ajay Supeda
71 1107
5
GingerFizz
Noel Driver
56 1104
6
Atlético Chappers
Richard Chapman
57 1099
7
Rip Roaring Reds
Sean Whyton
52 1088
8
musttryharder fc
Paul Telford
35 1087
9
Nashton Villa
Jaime Nash
56 1085
10
Soup-or-Boom.
Ian Driver
58 1081

Buffoon United have been making steady progress over the last few weeks and with one round of December fixtures left to play they find themsleves top of the monthly league. They’ve climbed to 13th in Buckets and seen an overall rank rise of around 600,000.

1
Buffoon United
Jitesh Lakhani
319
2
Rip Roaring Reds
Sean Whyton
317
3
Kebab Eaters Utd
Paul Howard
306
3
Nashton Villa
Jaime Nash
306
5
Reluctant Soldier
Trevor Gordon
303
6
Pukki Blinders
David Spinks
299
7
GingerFizz
Noel Driver
299
8
Locky Bauer Bowyer
Paul Hawkins
297

To totally contradict my opening statement, their 83 points, the highest Buckets score of the gameweek, did not include TAA. Instead, they built their total around four double-digit, match-winning performances. Harry Kane starred as captain. Anthony Martial hasn’t been injured now for nearly a month and offers great value going forward, playing out of position and for less than £8 million. Adama Traore finished off City, yet the real differential in the Buffoon ranks is Djibril Sidibe. He has nailed down a right wing-back berth in an Everton team who should see results pick up with Carlo Ancelotti’s appointment. Even in the last days of Marco Silva and under Duncan Ferguson their were signs of Sidibe’s potential. The Buffoons may be the only one of us who have jumped on this. Four assists, three clean sheets and four bonus points in eight games hasn’t yet prompted a price rise, but it’s surely only a matter of time.

Manager of the week – Bufoon United – Jitesh Lakhani – 83 points

Player of the week – Trent Alexander-Arnold – Liverpool – 24 points

Bargain of the week – Adama Traore – Wolverhampton Wanderers – 13 points

Twat of the week – Ederson Moraes – Manchester City – -3 points

Goal of the week – Jordan Ayew. 2m33s in.

Gameweek 28 results and February Manager of the Month

1  same But Da Pitch Ain’t 1
Trev Reams
54 1750
2  same The Craggy Islanders
Adrian Roche
66 1748
3  same Perfidious Albion
Andrew Swift
78 1738
4  same Neil Madrid
Neil Strong
65 1699
5  same Bielsa Ringing
Alan Hardy
63 1681
6  up INIT FC
Mustafa khan
71 1647
7  same FTM
Stu Smith
58 1641
8  down Shoelace Untied
Caroline Strong
46 1639
9  same Edgbaston
Micheal Dinneen
43 1600
10  up FC Caligula
Ajay Supeda
64 1600
11  down King raggg
Steven Darling
37 1590
12  down Frostee Rucker
Paul Bentz
41 1588
13  down Deeney in a Bottle
Stephanie Cripps
50 1588
14  up Rip Roaring Reds
Sean Whyton
62 1579
15  down Game of Stones
Ryan Garoghan
39 1560
16  same SLABHEAD FC
Adam Burnett
63 1557
17  up Aribo Haribo
Paul Hawkins
49 1552
18  down Fake Madrid
Andrew Wade
46 1551
19  up RICO UNITED
JASON REACHER
73 1549
20  same Upper Bullens
Andy Taylor
47 1541
21  down Mour Salt and Pep
Noel Driver
43 1538
22  down Nashton Villa
Jaime Nash
46 1524
23  same Dinamo Spinks
David Spinks
57 1523
24  same Cookie fc
Peter Cook
50 1510
25  up Pretty Schitty City
Alex Michaluk
79 1503
26  down Kompany & Co
DEAN CRIPPS
38 1496
27  down Musttryharder fc
Paul Telford
46 1489
28  up Salah Buffoon!!!
Jitesh Lakhani
60 1479
29  same Your Ad Here
Matthew Hopkins
50 1470
30  same Atlético Chappers
Richard Chapman
50 1470
31  down Kebab Eaters Utd
Paul Howard
48 1470
32  up The Big Lewandowski
Paul Callaghan
53 1469
33  down PenshawPerformers
david bruce
52 1468
34  same Real Jorvik
Simon Brown
49 1462
35  up Crazy Leg XI
David Caldicott
70 1460
36  up QUEEN OF THE NORTH
DORINE REACHER
84 1456
37  down Need son luck
Matt Jarvis
44 1456
38  down El Loco No Joko
Paul Murray
43 1454
39  down Morningblues
Jeff Morning
54 1445
40  down Hemel Hotspurs
Paul Jarvis
35 1440
41  down romeoshondavan
Rob Hewer
37 1429
42  same Pique Blinders
Colin Goulding
58 1423
43  down ClipityKlopptotitle
tanya thursby
38 1419
44  up Hoose Reus
James Whitfield
58 1405
45  up Greeeenteeam
adam greenwood
67 1397
46  down Dropit like its Hart
Jason Earwicker
28 1394
47  same It’s coming home
scott mcgow
69 1383
48  same Puddle Splash Van
Ian Williams
53 1327
49  same The Mindless Morons
John Seacroft
51 1295
50  same Ross’s champions
darren frankland
62 1241

 

Top of the league – But Da Pitch Ain’t 1 – Trev Reams – 1750 points

Da Pitch still hold the lead, but it’s only a slender two points over the surging Craggy Islanders who are on the hunt for the second title. Perfidious sit third and only ten points further back after a resurgent week, and although not completely out of touch and out of contention for the title, Neil Madrid and Bielsa Ringing will need near perfect run-ins to catch those sides ahead of them. And we probably shouldn’t rule out the possibility of INIT, FTM or Shoelace sneaking into fourth place. We’re entering silly season, as the blank and double gameweeks begin to form and chip tactics come into play. We’re faced with only five fixtures in GW31 and the likelihood of a similar figure in GW33, depending on the outcome of the next round of the FA Cup. Already Manchester United have had two of their fixtures rearranged and moved to the middle of gameweeks 32 and 35. Expect the other successful cup teams to see their fixtures moved to the same midweek slots. Of the leading contenders, The Craggy Islanders, Perfidious Albion, Neil Madrid and Bielsa Ringing have all of their chips and their wildcard remaining. Da Pitch just have their chips to play. FTM Have their wildcard but bench-boosted in GW10, whereas INIT have no wildcards or triple captain and Shoelace have no wildcards or free hit. Negotiating the next few weeks could be tricky without at least one of the wildcard or free hit still in the bag. And it shouldn’t all be about the leaders, as a perfectly played strategy of wildcards and chips could hand any team anywhere in the league any of the next three manager of the month awards. It might also be something the semi-finalists of the Buckets Cup want to consider…

Buckets Cup quarter finals

Although maybe not in the case of The Craggy Islanders or Neil Madrid who probably have their eyes on a bigger prize. And that may play into the hands of Fake Madrid and Kebab Eaters who are the other two teams to progress to the last four. The Islanders beat Da Pitch as Madrid saw off FTM in the two top ten clashes. The Islanders will play Fake Madrid, who beat El Loco No Joko, who inexplicably kept Virgil Van Dyk and Sergio Aguero on the bench?!?!?!? Kebab Eaters edged past Mour Salt and Pep to face Neil Madrid. It could be a Madrid derby final.

February manager of the month – Atletico Chappers – Richard Chapman – 309 points

Thanks to their top 2,000 in the world weekly score of GW27 and consolidating with a steady 50 pointer this week, Chappers pinch the February prize. I’m not sure they were really in it at all before hitting the dizzy heights at the weekend. They have Gerard Deulefeu to thank and did so by benching him for their hammering at the hands of Liverpool last night.

Manager of the week – Queen Of The North – Dorine Reacher – 84 points

A week for defenders this week and QOTN lined up two of the big scorers – Schar and Robertson – in their team. They amassed 43 points from those two and their other defender, Ashley Young, who chipped in with a goal, and their keeper, Allison. They wouldn’t be picking up this award however had it not been for a Marko Arnautovic no-show. Although quite what Sadio Mane was doing warming the bench is anyone’s guess given his present run of form of six goals in six games.

Player of the week – Virgil Van Dyk – Liverpool – 20 points

It would have been 51 points had Van Dyk been lined alongside them in a triple up Liverpool defence. It’s not a ludicrous idea given that they’re three of the six highest scoring defenders in the game and that Liverpool have more clean sheets than anyone else so far this season. They could surpass 20 which would be a great achievement. It bodes well for the weeks ahead in which Liverpool play every week. They have no doubles, but they also have no blanks.

Bargain of the week – Fabian Schar – Newcastle United – 15 points

There aren’t many players with two weekly player awards so far this season. Fabian Schar is probably the most unexpected recipient. A clean sheet and a wondergoal always equals top bonus. Newcastle will play the blank gameweek in 31, and have other potential clean sheet matches between now and then.

Twat of the week – Kieran Trippier – Tottenham Hotspur – -1 points

A wonderful own goal that totally wrong footed Hugo Lloris, a World Cup winning captain no less. Tottenham’s meltdown might have started a few weeks earlier this season.

Goal of the week – Fabian Schar.