Gameweek 2 results

NORWICH ARE BACK have changed their name…to Pukki Blinders. Do they have Teemu Pukki? Er, no. Well, they probably do now, like the rest of us. A sharp price rise up to £6.7 million could hike up even further by the start of GW3. His ownership appears to have trebled from GW1 to now. The market seems pretty volatile at the moment and I reckon there are going to be a lot more wildcards played this week than were maybe first planned as a result of not being able to afford certain players. Pukki’s the first and only to see a £0.2 million rise so far. That going to cause some managers to have to look at taking a cheaper option somewhere else in their team. And that cheaper option might not be John Lundstram anymore. Is the Sheffield United man this season’s Wan Bissaka? A regular £4.0 starter? Not only that, but listed as a defender and playing out of position as a midfielder. Watch his price rises closely. He could be another very quickly adding £0.2 million to his value.

There aren’t many Pukki owners among us at all. Plenty of Lundstram lovers…with him warming their bench. Our highest scoring manager, Rock Ya-Sin, who moves up to 32nd place with a 65 point haul, collected their big points from a shrewd captain pick, guessing Sadio Mane would pick up where he left off at the end of last season. Is Mane the Liverpool attacker to have? Ahead of Salah?

1
Cook Pass Babtridge
Marcus Baker
51 150
2
Perfidious Albion
Andrew Swift
57 140
3
Show Me Da Mane
Jason Earwicker
62 138
4
The Mindless Morons
John Seacroft
60 137
5
Kante fit my Willian
Paul Callaghan
59 137
5
FTM
Stu Smith
46 137
7
Greeenteeaaam
adam greenwood
52 136
8
Locky Bauer Bowyer
Paul Hawkins
47 135
9
The Craggy Islanders
Adrian Roche
57 133
10
Game of Stones
Ryan Garoghan
50 132

Our leading pack all posted good 10-15 points above average scores with Cook Pass Babtridge holding onto their lead. Perfidious and The Islanders have moved into the top 10 and a special mention to The Mindless Morons – totally Sunderland-esque in their love of the arse-end of the table, but now perched with a nosebleed in fourth.

Player of the week – Teemu Pukki – Norwich City – 17 points

Bargain of the week – John Lundstram – Sheffield United – 14 points

Twat of the week – Paul Pogba – Manchester United – 0 points

Goal of the week – Douglas Luiz. 

Close run thing this week. Pukki’s volley misses out because the keeper got a paw to it. Harsh, I know, but it’s my blog. Also, an honorable mention for Ruben Neves’s curler for Wolves against Man Utd.

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Gameweek 14 results

1 Golden Boys Stephanie Cripps 70 786
2 FC Caligula Ajay Supeda 58 752
3 Your Ad Here Matthew Hopkins 58 734
4 4 Lime Jellies Ian Williams 68 733
5 Pretty Schitty City Alex Michaluk 42 731
6 The Kolarov Mané Trevor Gordon 60 730
7 Bicuitmen Chris Morton 52 721
8 Game of Throw ins Darren Lavelle 57 721
9 scotty2hotty scott mcgow 55 719
10 Edgbaston Micheal Dinneen 65 718
11 greensmeansbusiness adam greenwood 49 715
12 Hedgehog Corpse FC Nick Smith 63 712
13 Below Par Paul Bentz 58 711
14 Init fc Mustafa khan 77 711
15 Rocky Ba Bauer P Hawkins 51 710
16 Shoelace Untied Caroline Strong 65 707
17 SS3 FC Paul Murray 90 702
18 Howayman Mark Bromham 74 695
19 Gaalacticos Colin Goulding 74 695
20 Romeo’s Honda Van Rob Hewer 62 693
21 Sergio Five O DEAN CRIPPS 70 691
22 Atlético Chappers Richard Chapman 48 687
23 Grievous AngelRangel Andrew Swift 74 684
24 The Craggy Islanders Adrian Roche 52 684
25 JonniestaRedmondinho David Spinks 51 671
26 Rip Roaring Reds Sean Whyton 48 671
27 Bermie Utd Glen Davies 64 670
28 Walking with Memphis Noel Driver 31 669
29 Go Buffoons Go!!! Jitesh Lakhani 66 650
30 Neil Madrid Neil Strong 61 641
31 Uriah Rennie 2nd XI Neil Greenwood 72 640
32 Release The Hounds Paul Mitchell 70 634
33 The Mindless Morons John Seacroft 74 631
34 Panza Grande XI Stuart Baker 42 628
35 Crazy Legs XI David Caldicott 52 624
36 RICO UNITED JASON REACHER 61 624
37 Upper Bullens Andy Taylor 62 618
38 The Hardy Boys Alan Hardy 50 610
39 Ciderheads Darren Pope 52 603
40 Baker Bum Boys Lewis Baker 52 594
41 Sweet Cherry Pie Jason Earwicker 47 591
42 Bish Bosh Goal Simon Purnell 41 569
43 REAL JORVIK Simon Brown 30 528
44 BrussiaHairbach Alex Ritchie 47 485

 

SS3 FC score 90 points and are the team of the week. They’re the first to win two weekly awards this season, and in doing so have climbed to their highest league position of 17th. Employing Kevin de Bruyne as captain was a smart move. The Belgian playmaker was the player of the week, and so added 32 points towards SS3’s total. They also earned 13 points from last weeks player of the week, Ross Barkley, and 12 from Odion Ighalo, this weeks highest scoring striker. Add to that the inevitable contribution from Jamie Vardy – 9 points this week – and that’s 66 points from just four players.

It was a close run thing for manager of the month. Shoelace had been leading the monthly table for the last couple of weeks and were doing so on Saturday night. But they only managed to add a further three points on Sunday and that wasn’t enough to hold off the challenge of The Mindless Morons, who added 17 further points to their Saturday total. Mesut Ozil scored 10 of those 17, meaning he has now scored in 10 of the 14 gameweeks – a record that’s only bettered by Vardy. The other seven points, crucially, came from a substitution. Adam Smith was promoted to the team to replace Vincent Kompany. The Bournemouth defender has scored no more than a point per performance and has mainly been warming the Morons’ bench since week one…until he launched a sweetly struck 25 yard volley into the roof of Tim Howard’s net this weekend. The Mindless Morons win November. They were second bottom at the end of October. Their recent form has seen them climb ten places and 100 points ahead of the current second bottom side.

1 The Mindless Morons John Seacroft 74 198
2 Shoelace Untied Caroline Strong 65 192
3 Howayman Mark Bromham 74 187
4 Grievous AngelRangel Andrew Swift 74 183
5 SS3 FC Paul Murray 90 183
6 Golden Boys Stephanie Cripps 70 182
7 scotty2hotty scott mcgow 55 181

 

At the top of the table Golden Boys extend their lead to 34 points. That’s the biggest gap between first and second so far this season. This week they scored 70 points using only 10 players. It was 12 more than their two closest challengers, Caligula and Your Ad Here. Pretty Schitty City dropped a couple of places down to fifth to complete a disappointing month. PSC were a point behind Golden Boys at the end of October – they’re now 55 behind. 4 Lime Jellies ended their recent disappointing run by climbing back up to fourth with a respectable 68 point haul.

 

Player of the week – Kevin de Bruyne – 16 points. Good City showed up this week.

Bargain of the week – Patrick Van Aanholt – 15 points. Two consecutive clean sheets for Sunderland. Time to consider the Allardyce factor?

Donkey of the week – Ryan Shawcross – -3 points. Ruined Stoke’s run of clean sheets, although it was a harsh red card.

Goal of the week – Jamie Vardy.

Gameweek 25 results

1 Neil Madrid Neil Strong 44 1,389
2 NaboombuDirtyYellows Andrew Swift 46 1,374
3 Upper Bullens Andy Taylor 38 1,342
4 Pescara Rangers Stewart Pope 45 1,333
5 Ciderheads Darren Pope 58 1,326
6 Uriah Rennie 2nd XI Neil Greenwood 38 1,317
7 Hedgehog Corpse FC Nick Smith 47 1,315
8 * Your Ad Here * Matthew Hopkins 52 1,313
9 Shoelace Untied Caroline Strong 43 1,305
10 RayCrawfordsCrackers Rob Hewer 55 1,301
11 Gaalatcticos Colin Goulding 48 1,300
12 Bermie Utd Glen Davies 56 1,292
13 Paris Spinks Germain David Spinks 48 1,286
14 Pretty Schitty City Alex Michaluk 43 1,280
15 Van Damme United P Hawkins 59 1,260
16 Biscuitmen Chris Morton 35 1,256
17 Accrington Rudyard Ian Williams 51 1,233
18 Panza Grande XI Stuart Baker 46 1,229
19 The Mindless Morons John Seacroft 66 1,217
20 Who R U DEAN CRIPPS 60 1,212
21 Get to the choppa Mark Bromham 58 1,209
22 Rip Roaring Reds Sean Whyton 37 1,183
23 Real Jorvik FC Simon Brown 59 1,171
24 Luxembourg United Simon Smallbone 51 1,158
25 Sportingabiggerwig Alex Ritchie 29 1,149
26 No Recognized Plan Paul Bentz 34 1,148
27 Release The Hounds Paul Mitchell 27 1,105
28 Crazylegs XI David Caldicott 24 1,081
29 Jordie’s Giants Jordan Raper 31 897

 

We’ve a new name on the roll of honour as The Mindless Morons top the weekly scores. Remarkably, six of their fifteen players didn’t even take to the field of play, but the nine that did amassed 66 points. They were one of the few to plump for Harry Kane as captain. Presumably the majority of us still think that this crazy run of goals is going to come to an end at some point. Again, he wasn’t top scorer for the week, but did manage his third consecutive double figure total.

It was a relatively low scoring gameweek, epitomised possibly by the fact that Chris Smalling ended up as the highest scoring player. Smalling strode off the bench after five minutes to replace Phil Jones and score with his first touch. He then bundled in another with his 50p head just before half time.

Dame N’Doye is our bargain buy of the week. It’s the first gameweek in which we’ve had a chance to look at some of the newly transferred in players. N’Doye scored and assisted to beat Villa, and ultimately cost Paul Lambert his job. Hull have been in desperate need of a goal scorer, so maybe N’Doye is that player. Of the new batch, only Jermain Defoe betters N’Doye’s statistics, although he has had a few more games in which to get up and running. It’s worth noting that the new Sunderland striker has scored two in his first four with an average of five points per game so far.

Theo Walcott and Daniel Sturridge are back in starting line ups and in among the points. Both contributed well to Arsenal and Liverpool’s victories on Tuesday night. Sturridge has picked up 14 points in 130 odd minutes of football since his return. Walcott’s figures are 18 points in 208 minutes. Both are gradually upping their gametime match by match, and injuries and lack of form among team mates could guarantee them more starting berths in the coming weeks. Although Mario did score the other night. But that should be of no concern to anyone who is playing this game properly.

 

Player of the week – Chris Smalling – 17 points. Probably the only time this will ever happen.

Bargain of the week – Dame N’Doye – 12 points. Another member for the cheap effective striker club?

Donkey of the week – Gareth Barry – -1 point. Making his seasonal appearance.

Goal of the week – Bobby Zamora. I don’t think he scuffed it.

 

 

Gameweek 17 results

1 Sportingoffensivewig Alex Ritchie 61 1,076
2 Romeo’s-honda-van Rob Hewer 90 1,063
3 Ciderheads Darren Pope 81 1,060
4 Panza Grande XI Stuart Baker 80 1,057
5 Rip Roaring Reds Sean Whyton 72 1,051
6 Crazylegs Xi David Caldicott 68 1,041
7 {Your Ad Here} Matthew Hopkins 75 1,030
8 Neil Madrid Neil Strong 70 1,029
9 The Magico Rob Buttaci 65 1,018
10 NaboombuDirtyYellows Andrew Swift 64 1,003
11 Shakin’ Stephens P Hawkins 66 987
12 Rien Toulouse Colin Goulding 80 978
13 Upper Bullens Scouse Mouse 75 972
14 Have a little dink Ian Williams 73 961
15 Kedah FA David Spinks 54 956
16 Mid-Season Blip Paul Bentz 62 949
17 pretty Schitty City Alex Michaluk 72 940
18 Release the Hounds Paul Mitchell 66 940
19 Hedgehog Corpse FC Nick Smith 74 937
20 Uriah Rennie 2nd XI Neil Greenwood 68 886
21 Shoelace Untied Caroline Strong 80 870
22 Bermie Utd Glen Davies 43 863
23 The Mindless Morons John Seacroft 90 850
24 Biscuitmen Chris Morton 77 811
25 Real Jorvik Simon Brown 33 773
26 Inter Minan Jordan Raper 42 757

 

We’ve two teams posting scores of 90 points this week – that’s The Mindless Morons and Romeo’s-Honda-Van. And the winners of the manager of the week award are… The Mindless Morons. They scored six goals to Romeo’s five. Had Romeo’s won the award, it would have been their third in four weeks and their fourth overall. As it happens, the Morons pick up their first. You have a to feel a little sorry for them, having scored 90 points you’d expect to move a few places up the table. But no – they stay in 23rd place – in the bottom four, but close the gap on the teams just above them. Maybe if Luis Suarez was to stop scoring goals, it would become a lot harder for ALMOST EVERYONE to post scores of 70, 80 or 90+ every week. Suarez’s current scoring streak far surpasses those of Gareth Bale and Robin Van Persie’s from recent years. He has just posted his fourth consecutive double figure weekly score. It’s his eighth in all for the season. And it’s his fifth player of the week award. His price is currently set at 13.2 million, and there’s a real chance he could become the most expensive player in the game within the next few weeks. It’d be nice if he could have a week off, just so I could talk about someone else.

Romeo’s may have only just missed out on the weekly award, but they move into second place overall, and the gap between them and first placed Sporting is now down to 13 points. Ciderheads, Panza Grande and Rip Roaring Reds are all within 30 points of the top, with five other teams all passing the 1000 point mark. Defending champs, Shakin’ Stephens, lie in 11th place, almost 100 points behind Sporting. They’re going to need a run of results similar to that of Romeo’s to put themselves in with a chance of retaining their title. Sporting run the risk of losing their grip on the lead this week if they don’t replace Aguero, who still forms part of their attack. In a week where some rotation is very likely, Sporting’s bench doesn’t look very strong either. None of their four subs got any game time in gameweek 17, and if this happens again in gameweek 18 and/or 19 they could be swallowed up by that chasing pack.

Player of the week – Luis Suarez – 16 points. Unbelievably, still not in everyone’s team.

Bargain of the week – Peter Crouch – 12 points. On the day his missus won Strictly.

Donkey of the week – Danny Gabbidon – -1 point. An own goal contribution to a 3-0 home defeat.

Goal of the week – Seamus Coleman. Was tempted to nominate Vincent Kompany’s overhead backward slice own goal. But I didn’t. No video for this either for some reason.