Gameweek 3 results

August 28, 2017

1  same Hornets
Andrew Wade
68 210
2  up Klopp of the Pochs
Jason Earwicker
64 187
3  up Rico united
JASON REACHER
57 186
4  up Queen of the north
DORINE REACHER
64 185
5  down Crazylegs XI
David Caldicott
47 179
6  down The winnings R mine
david bruce
46 176
7  same Brexiter City
Colin Goulding
49 175
8  down romeoshondavan
Rob Hewer
42 168
9  up Rip Roaring Reds
Sean Whyton
49 168
10  up cookster fc
Peter Cook
70 164
10  up Flying squad
Matt Jarvis
57 164
12  down Aquamar 1564
Noel Driver
35 164
13  up King Dunlap
Paul Bentz
56 163
14  down Despicable Mee
Trevor Gordon
43 161
15  up It’sOnlyAGameFarke!
David Spinks
50 160
16  down FC Caligula
Ajay Supeda
42 160
17  down Fun Lovren Criminals
Paul Callaghan
39 159
18  down Nashton Villa
Jaime Nash
40 158
19  down Pure Buffoonery!
Jitesh Lakhani
39 158
20  up Game of Throw-Ins
Ryan Garoghan
48 155
21  down Gotta Light?
Andrew Swift
44 154
22  down Jarv88
Paul Jarvis
44 152
23  up Neil Madrid
Neil Strong
63 151
24  down INIT FC
Mustafa khan
49 149
25  up greenyteamy
adam greenwood
59 147
26  down Edgbaston
Micheal Dinneen
36 144
27  up The Vinegar Pissers
P Hawkins
49 142
28  up Your Ad Here
Matthew Hopkins
45 141
29  down Release The Hounds
Paul Mitchell
43 141
30  down Kompany & Co
DEAN CRIPPS
36 139
31  down Upper Bullens
Andy Taylor
39 138
32  up The Craggy Islanders
Adrian Roche
44 137
33  up Emergency Gap Jumper
Ian Williams
40 130
34  down mrs mcgoo
laura barrett
29 129
35  down Bakerlona FC
Stuart Baker
26 128
35  down Golden Boys
Stephanie Cripps
28 128
37  same Real Jorvik
Simon Brown
35 127
38  same To Elland Back
Alan Hardy
34 125
39  down FTM
Stu Smith
27 124
40  up Kebab Eaters Utd
Paul Howard
43 123
41  up blakes11
Steven Darling
43 120
42  up musttryharder FC
Paul Telford
40 119
43  up Pretty Schitty City
Alex Michaluk
49 117
44  up Pudding And Pie
John Seacroft
44 117
45  down disco dancer
darren frankland
34 116
46  down iamgroot
scott mcgow
37 115
47  down Biscuitmen
Chris Morton
31 110
48  down Atlético Chappers
Richard Chapman
35 106
49  same We are Ayling
Paul Murray
37 104
50  same Shoelace Untied
Caroline Strong
41 88

 

August manager of the month – Hornets – 210 points

Picking up the first prize money of the season are league newcomers, Hornets. And they made damn sure they were going to get it, utilising their bench boost wildcard for extra points security. As it turns out, they really didn’t have to play it. They sit 23 points ahead at the top of the table. Their bench only scored them an added 11 points. The 57 points they had already racked up was a more than respectable score for the week. Lets hope they don’t rue that decision in later months.

Manager of the week – Cookster FC – 70 points

Not playing the bench boost, and still banging in a healthy 70 point score were Cooksters. They were one of the few not to fall foul to another lame week by Harry Kane and Romelu Lukaku’s penalty miss – mainly because they don’t have either of them. Many millions of us captained Kane, convinced that this was the week he’d get his goals – it didn’t happen. There is an August curse apparently. Cooksters primarily benefited from Chelsea’s performance against Everton, with Pedro, Willian and Alvaro Morata, whose made a promising start to his FPL career, picking up a combined 21 points. Seems the rest of us ditched Chelsea at the first sign of wavering (the first game) – obviously way too early.

Player of the week – Ciaran Clark – 15 points

Double Newcastle defender in player of the week alert. This either shows that it’s not all bad at St James’ and they’ve got a team full of cheap fantasy assets with relatively good prospects against the right team. Or that West Ham are total shit.

Bargain of the week – Chancel Mbemba – 9 points

The only regular starting £4 million player. Played well and could even nail down a place. The international break has probably come at the wrong time.

Twat of the week – Miguel Britos – -2 points

Spare a thought (again) for Shoelace Untied, propping up the table. Three weeks in and three sendings off. Britos’s tackle and subsequent protestations of innocence deserve fantasy points in my opinion. At least 10.

Goal of the week – Charlie Daniels.

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Gamewwwek 1 results

August 13, 2017

1  new Fun Lovren Criminals
Paul Callaghan
88 88
2  new INIT FC
Mustafa khan
86 86
3  new Crazylegs XI
David Caldicott
85 85
4  new Despicable Mee
Trevor Gordon
84 84
5  new Jarv88
Paul Jarvis
80 80
6  new Aquamar 1564
Noel Driver
79 79
7  new romeoshondavan
Rob Hewer
78 78
7  new Rip Roaring Reds
Sean Whyton
78 78
9  new Edgbaston
Micheal Dinneen
77 77
9  new Rico united
JASON REACHER
77 77
11  new The winnings R mine
david bruce
75 75
12  new FC Caligula
Ajay Supeda
72 72
12  new King Dunlap
Paul Bentz
72 72
14  new Gotta Light?
Andrew Swift
70 70
15  new Klopp of the Pochs
Jason Earwicker
69 69
16  new It’sOnlyAGameFarke!
David Spinks
68 68
17  new Nashton Villa
Jaime Nash
67 67
18  new cookster fc
Peter Cook
65 65
18  new Golden Boys
Stephanie Cripps
65 65
18  new Release The Hounds
Paul Mitchell
65 65
21  new mrs mcgoo
laura barrett
64 64
22  new Brexiter City
Colin Goulding
63 63
23  new Hornets
Andrew Wade
62 62
24  new The Craggy Islanders
Adrian Roche
61 61
24  new Queen of the north
DORINE REACHER
61 61
24  new Flying squad
Matt Jarvis
61 61
27  new Pure Buffoonery!
Jitesh Lakhani
60 60
27  new Kompany & Co
DEAN CRIPPS
60 60
29  new Upper Bullens
Andy Taylor
59 59
30  new disco dancer
darren frankland
58 58
31  new Bakerlona FC
Stuart Baker
55 55
31  new Game of Throw-Ins
Ryan Garoghan
55 55
33  new musttryharder FC
Paul Telford
54 54
34  new Neil Madrid
Neil Strong
52 52
35  new The Vinegar Pissers
P Hawkins
51 51
35  new Your Ad Here
Matthew Hopkins
51 51
35  new Emergency Gap Jumper
Ian Williams
51 51
38  new greenyteamy
adam greenwood
50 50
38  new FTM
Stu Smith
50 50
40  new Real Jorvik
Simon Brown
49 49
41  new Atlético Chappers
Richard Chapman
47 47
41  new Biscuitmen
Chris Morton
47 47
43  new We are Ayling
Paul Murray
46 46
44  new Kebab Eaters Utd
Paul Howard
45 45
44  new blakes11
Steven Darling
45 45
46  new To Elland Back
Alan Hardy
44 44
47  new iamgroot
scott mcgow
42 42
48  new Pretty Schitty City
Alex Michaluk
41 41
49  new Pudding And Pie
John Seacroft
37 37
50  new Shoelace Untied
Caroline Strong
32 32

 

Manager of the week –  Fun Lovren Criminals – 88 points.

It happens so often that the last game of the weekend saves a gameweek. Romelu Lukaku’s 13 point haul, doubled to 26 with the armband, was the score that took Fun Lovren Criminals to the Buckets summit for week one and win them the first manager of the week accolade. Lukaku and Harry Kane vied for top ownership and top captain choice for this opening round of fixtures. Those opting for the United forward reaped the rewards. Kane lovers had the added disappointment of seeing their man booked, and thus picking up a measly two points as skipper. Impressive Premier League club debuts from Mohamed Salah, Alexandre Lacazette and Sead Kolasinac also contributed to FLC’s early lead, and the performance of all of those four players in particular bodes well for their fantasy careers.

Player of the week – Ahmed Hegazi – 15 points.

Best debut of the lot came from West Brom’s new Egyptian centre back, Ahmed Hegazi. Tony Pulis should just play a 1-10-0-0 and be done with it. No need for attackers. Don’t be surprised if a defender ends up as West Brom’s top scorer this season. Keep 13 clean sheets, score five or six goals, get to 40 points in March, start planning your holidays. Easy.

Bargain of the week – Sam Vokes – 13 points.                                                               Twat of the week – Gary Cahill – -3 points

Week one is never without it’s surprise results. Burnley sold their main striker the evening before. Their away record last season was shocking. Chelsea, the Champions, only lost twice at home last season, kept 16 clean sheets and beat their opponents 3-0 almost a year ago. When it goes tits up in week one it feels so much worse than at any other time of the season, probably because you’ve been aching over your selection since mid July. But no-one could have seen this coming. Although, as much as I don’t see Sam Vokes clogging up too many forward lines, I also don’t see too many Chelsea defenders in any of our squads either. Are they priced too highly? Shoelace however, who are propping us all up, were unfortunate enough to plump for Cahill. But for Lukaku, and a scoring start from Sergio Aguero, mid to low priced strikers came out on top. As well as Vokes, honorable mentions should go to Steve Mounie and some bloke called Wayne Rooney.

Goal of the week – Wayne Rooney.

Lets start with a cracking header – 1m06s.

 

 

 

End of season results

May 23, 2017

up The Craggy Islanders
Adrian Roche
85 2315
down When Harry met Alli
Trevor Gordon
80 2312
same Aquamar 15
Noel Driver
77 2274
up Kebab Eaters Utd
Paul Howard
110 2255

The Craggy Islanders are our champions. By three points. I think that might be our closest finish yet. It was looking at one point, before the bonuses came in, that it might end up being a tie. I’m glad it wasn’t. I didn’t fancy the season long count back of goals scored. The Islanders won the last weekly battle 85 to 80 – the five point gap enough to take over at the top. WHMA played the All Out Attack, but to no avail. It wouldn’t have made a difference had they not bothered.

The Islanders started this season as our first manager of the week and then spent most of the next three months coming and going, in and out of the top 10. They hit a century in gameweek 14 climbing back to the summit. From that moment on they never left the top four, clinging on to first for six weeks between 16 and 22, and then next appearing in top spot when it really mattered – gameweek 38.

Meaning When Harry Met Alli must settle for second place for the second successive year. They were always in the mix. They never dropped out of the top 10 but for one week in December. From the turn of the year they took up residence in the top four and never fell below that. They were at the head of the group of teams trying to peg back Aquamar through the last third of the season, managing to take the lead in gameweek 37. Perhaps their decision to play their bench boost a week earlier than The Islanders cost them the title. We’ll never know.

And we’ll never know whether Aquamar’s itchy transfer finger cost them the top prize. Sitting in the top 3,000 worldwide in gameweek 32 with an 80 point lead over their nearest Buckets challenger, they went on a complete transfer bender making 19 in the last six weeks. Not having Harry Kane to play out the final two weeks, however, was probably the biggest handicap. It was a season of what might have been for Aquamar, also finishing runners-up in the Buckets Cup to Shoelace Untied.

Fourth place was a battle to the death with five or so teams continuously changing places over the closing two months of the season. Kebab Eaters United eventually pipped Edgbaston to the last cash prize. Edgbaston finished fifth last year too, but do take home the prize for the May manager of the month and the highest weekly score – a record breaking 181 points in gameweek 37.

Shoelace ploughed all of their energy into winning the cup, taking 76 points worth of hits across three gameweeks in order to outscore their opponents. Curiously, they also climbed the table, proving that taking hits doesn’t necessarily always cost you points. As long as you bring in the right players. It’s not a tactic I’d suggest playing across an entire season.

Rico United were double month winners and Yeboah’s Right Foot won manager of the week more than anyone else, coming out on top four times. That’s probably pretty impressive in a 53 team league. The record still stands at seven in a 26 team league.

Alexis Sanchez topped the player charts by some distance, although had Harry Kane played out a full season, it’s probable he’d have collected more points. He finished joint third with Eden Hazard, and just behind Dele Alli, but missed eight games with injury. Tom Heaton was the top goalkeeper. He kept ten clean sheets, and headed both the saves made and bonus points tables to finish ahead of Hugo Lloris and Thibault Courtois. The Chelsea defence ruled. No-one got close to Cahill, Alonso and Azpilicueta. Kane, Hazard, Kevin De Bruyne and Romelu Lukaku topped the bonus charts, all scoring 33. Marcos Alonso’s value rose the most over the course of the season, £0.9 million to £6.9 million.

Picking a bargain buy of the season hasn’t been as easy as last year when we had so many Leicester players to choose from. West Brom’s second top scorer, Gareth McAuley, deserves a mention. The 804 year old defender started as a £4.5 million back up in many teams but probably lasted the distance thanks to his steady return of goals and clean sheets – up until the point that West Brom reached 40 points and they got the holiday brochures out. Josh King’s second half of the season was as prolific as any of the elite forward players in the league. Only Sanchez and Alli scored more from midfield. From gameweek 20 onwards he contributed in 13 of the 18 games he played in. Expect a position change and starting price rise for next season.

See you then.

Gameweek 35 preview

April 28, 2017

Southampton v Hull
Stoke v West Ham
Sunderland v Bournemouth
West Brom v Leicester
Crystal Palace v Burnley
Man Utd v Swansea
Everton v Chelsea
Middlesbrough v Man City
Spurs v Arsenal
Watford v Liverpool

An island of single gameweek calm in between the double gameweek madness and a week in which we might see a lot of wildcarding, bearing in mind you can’t wildcard and chip at the same time. Arsenal and Southampton have two consecutive double gameweeks coming up. Gameweek 37 has five extra games with all of the top six playing twice. Good luck figuring all that out.

Southampton could be worth investing in ahead of time given they’ve got Hull at home this weekend. Hull’s resurgence has been built on a strong home record. Away, they’re a slightly less threatening proposition. Their last away point came back in January. Southampton come in relatively cheap. Three of their regular back four come in at under £5 million and those of us that have persevered with Manolo Gabbiadini may finally see some attacking returns for only £6.4 million.

We’ll know our April manager of the month after this weekend. Here’s the table…

up Hucking Fell
P Hawkins
86 356
same Shoelace Untied
Caroline Strong
82 349
up Aquamar 15
Noel Driver
74 327
down Kebab Eaters Utd
Paul Howard
41 324
up The Craggy Islanders
Adrian Roche
77 321

Realistically, there may only be two teams in it. Shoelace could add to their cup win, whereas Hucking Fell normally pick up at least one prize per season. Watch out for Aquamar though.

Gameweek 29 results

March 20, 2017

same Aquamar 15
Noel Driver
72 1658
up When Harry met Alli
Trevor Gordon
80 1612
down Hedgehog Corpse FC
Nick Smith
66 1602
same The Craggy Islanders
Adrian Roche
64 1590
same Biscuitmen
Chris Morton
62 1580
up FC Caligula
Ajay Supeda
90 1567
down Kebab Eaters Utd
Paul Howard
72 1567
down RICO UNITED
JASON REACHER
71 1564
down To Elland Back
Alan Hardy
75 1557
10  up Edgbaston
Micheal Dinneen
75 1541
11  down Uriah Rennie 2nd XI
Neil Greenwood
64 1540
12  up Joey Bosa
Paul Bentz
78 1531
13  up Atlético Chappers
Richard Chapman
66 1530
14  up Neil Madrid
Neil Strong
71 1520
15  up Upper Bullens
Andy Taylor
62 1519
16  up Go Buffoons Go
Jitesh Lakhani
67 1517
17  down greenyteamy
adam greenwood
37 1516
18  down Rip Roaring Reds
Sean Whyton
60 1516
19  down Cooksters
Peter Cook
47 1515
20  up Yeboah’s Right Foot
Paul Murray
72 1514
21  up Your Ad Here
Matthew Hopkins
67 1514
22  down INIT FC
Mustafa khan
62 1509
23  down 4 Fuchs Ake
Jason Earwicker
40 1507
24  up romeoshondavan
Rob Hewer
65 1473
25  down Jeff Lamp’s Porsche
David Spinks
63 1470
26  up Have a little dink
Ian Williams
83 1457
27  down QUEEN OF THE NORTH
DORINE REACHER
57 1455
28  down nO fucHs given
Paul Callaghan
62 1455
29  down RG XV
Ryan Garoghan
52 1446
30  down Jarvis FC
Matt Jarvis
47 1436
31  down 30:19
Darren Lavelle
47 1435
32  up Shoelace Untied
Caroline Strong
97 1429
33  up Release The Hounds
Paul Mitchell
47 1417
34  down Hucking Fell
P Hawkins
45 1413
35  down Golden Boys
Stephanie Cripps
29 1406
36  up jetty city
scott mcgow
80 1401
37  same I am not Zlatan
Colin Goulding
57 1394
38  up Ciderheads
Darren Pope
72 1385
39  down Crazy Legs XI
David Caldicott
22 1372
40  same FTM
Stu Smith
48 1360
41  same Pudding And Pie
John Seacroft
59 1359
42  same Bakerlona
Stuart Baker
52 1339
43  up Dj daz
darren frankland
69 1321
44  down Real Jorvik
Simon Brown
39 1295
45  up Pepe Le Blue
DEAN CRIPPS
39 1290
46  down Big White Chiefs
david frankland
38 1289
47  same Bermie Utd
Glen Davies
53 1268
48  up bazza 28 united
laura barrett
65 1240
49  down Pretty Schitty City
Alex Michaluk
29 1230
50  same Bish Bosh Goal
Simon Purnell
51 1209
51  up Jarv88
Paul Jarvis
51 1142
52  down Racing Club Skegness
Andrew Swift
22 1141
53  same DJ’s Trail Blazers
Danian Jones
40 1111

 

Shoelace Untied are the Buckets Cup champions. They have triumphed 97-72 over league leaders, Aquamar, who quite frankly didn’t have a chance against a team taking hits for fun and dropping the triple captain in for good measure. In the last three gameweeks Shoelace have made six, eight and eight transfers at the cost of 76 points. Aquamar’s challenge for the league has worked against them, although I imagine that not playing their wildcard or any chips will have much higher financial benefits in the long run. Their still respectable 72 point total maintains a healthy 46 point lead ahead of the chasing pack.

It was another Lukaku week. Everybody in the world handed him the armband to the tune of 32 points. Shoelace squeezed 48 points out of the Everton striker. Arguably, 33 of those points came in added time. Lukaku had contributed an assist before bagging a brace in the final moments of the game, nabbing the top bonus marks in the process. Shoelace’s final total was enough to earn them the highest weekly score accolade as well.

Despite taking the mega hits, Shoelace have actually managed to improve their league position. That’s probably a combination of making some very good transfer choices and the teams around them just not giving a shit anymore. Which is a shame, because if anything they’ve proved that by being out of the race for the league title doesn’t necessarily mean you’re out of the hunt for prizes.

Coming up on the outside, and winning the March manager of the month award are FC Caligula. Last years champs have also climbed to sixth and in contention for a league prize. It might be the first time they’ve appeared in the top 10 all year. Cold this be a late challenge? They’re still holding a wildcard and all of their chips.

 

Player of the week – Criag Dawson – 17 points. Arsenal doomed.

Bargain of the week – Benik Afobe – 12 points. Two wins and safe(ish) in mid table.

Donkey of the week – Phil Bardsley – -2 points. His yearly donkey.

Goal of the week – Jesse Lingard. 

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