Gameweek 3 results

August 28, 2017

1  same Hornets
Andrew Wade
68 210
2  up Klopp of the Pochs
Jason Earwicker
64 187
3  up Rico united
JASON REACHER
57 186
4  up Queen of the north
DORINE REACHER
64 185
5  down Crazylegs XI
David Caldicott
47 179
6  down The winnings R mine
david bruce
46 176
7  same Brexiter City
Colin Goulding
49 175
8  down romeoshondavan
Rob Hewer
42 168
9  up Rip Roaring Reds
Sean Whyton
49 168
10  up cookster fc
Peter Cook
70 164
10  up Flying squad
Matt Jarvis
57 164
12  down Aquamar 1564
Noel Driver
35 164
13  up King Dunlap
Paul Bentz
56 163
14  down Despicable Mee
Trevor Gordon
43 161
15  up It’sOnlyAGameFarke!
David Spinks
50 160
16  down FC Caligula
Ajay Supeda
42 160
17  down Fun Lovren Criminals
Paul Callaghan
39 159
18  down Nashton Villa
Jaime Nash
40 158
19  down Pure Buffoonery!
Jitesh Lakhani
39 158
20  up Game of Throw-Ins
Ryan Garoghan
48 155
21  down Gotta Light?
Andrew Swift
44 154
22  down Jarv88
Paul Jarvis
44 152
23  up Neil Madrid
Neil Strong
63 151
24  down INIT FC
Mustafa khan
49 149
25  up greenyteamy
adam greenwood
59 147
26  down Edgbaston
Micheal Dinneen
36 144
27  up The Vinegar Pissers
P Hawkins
49 142
28  up Your Ad Here
Matthew Hopkins
45 141
29  down Release The Hounds
Paul Mitchell
43 141
30  down Kompany & Co
DEAN CRIPPS
36 139
31  down Upper Bullens
Andy Taylor
39 138
32  up The Craggy Islanders
Adrian Roche
44 137
33  up Emergency Gap Jumper
Ian Williams
40 130
34  down mrs mcgoo
laura barrett
29 129
35  down Bakerlona FC
Stuart Baker
26 128
35  down Golden Boys
Stephanie Cripps
28 128
37  same Real Jorvik
Simon Brown
35 127
38  same To Elland Back
Alan Hardy
34 125
39  down FTM
Stu Smith
27 124
40  up Kebab Eaters Utd
Paul Howard
43 123
41  up blakes11
Steven Darling
43 120
42  up musttryharder FC
Paul Telford
40 119
43  up Pretty Schitty City
Alex Michaluk
49 117
44  up Pudding And Pie
John Seacroft
44 117
45  down disco dancer
darren frankland
34 116
46  down iamgroot
scott mcgow
37 115
47  down Biscuitmen
Chris Morton
31 110
48  down Atlético Chappers
Richard Chapman
35 106
49  same We are Ayling
Paul Murray
37 104
50  same Shoelace Untied
Caroline Strong
41 88

 

August manager of the month – Hornets – 210 points

Picking up the first prize money of the season are league newcomers, Hornets. And they made damn sure they were going to get it, utilising their bench boost wildcard for extra points security. As it turns out, they really didn’t have to play it. They sit 23 points ahead at the top of the table. Their bench only scored them an added 11 points. The 57 points they had already racked up was a more than respectable score for the week. Lets hope they don’t rue that decision in later months.

Manager of the week – Cookster FC – 70 points

Not playing the bench boost, and still banging in a healthy 70 point score were Cooksters. They were one of the few not to fall foul to another lame week by Harry Kane and Romelu Lukaku’s penalty miss – mainly because they don’t have either of them. Many millions of us captained Kane, convinced that this was the week he’d get his goals – it didn’t happen. There is an August curse apparently. Cooksters primarily benefited from Chelsea’s performance against Everton, with Pedro, Willian and Alvaro Morata, whose made a promising start to his FPL career, picking up a combined 21 points. Seems the rest of us ditched Chelsea at the first sign of wavering (the first game) – obviously way too early.

Player of the week – Ciaran Clark – 15 points

Double Newcastle defender in player of the week alert. This either shows that it’s not all bad at St James’ and they’ve got a team full of cheap fantasy assets with relatively good prospects against the right team. Or that West Ham are total shit.

Bargain of the week – Chancel Mbemba – 9 points

The only regular starting £4 million player. Played well and could even nail down a place. The international break has probably come at the wrong time.

Twat of the week – Miguel Britos – -2 points

Spare a thought (again) for Shoelace Untied, propping up the table. Three weeks in and three sendings off. Britos’s tackle and subsequent protestations of innocence deserve fantasy points in my opinion. At least 10.

Goal of the week – Charlie Daniels.

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Gameweek 2 results

August 22, 2017

1  up Hornets
Andrew Wade
80 142
2  up Crazylegs XI
David Caldicott
47 132
3  up The winnings R mine
david bruce
55 130
4  up Rico united
JASON REACHER
52 129
5  up Aquamar 1564
Noel Driver
50 129
6  up romeoshondavan
Rob Hewer
48 126
7  up Brexiter City
Colin Goulding
63 126
8  down Fun Lovren Criminals
Paul Callaghan
36 124
9  up Pure Buffoonery!
Jitesh Lakhani
63 123
9  up Klopp of the Pochs
Jason Earwicker
54 123
11  up FC Caligula
Ajay Supeda
50 122
12  down Despicable Mee
Trevor Gordon
38 122
13  up Queen of the north
DORINE REACHER
60 121
14  down Rip Roaring Reds
Sean Whyton
45 119
15  up Nashton Villa
Jaime Nash
51 118
16  down INIT FC
Mustafa khan
26 112
17  down It’sOnlyAGameFarke!
David Spinks
42 110
17  down Gotta Light?
Andrew Swift
40 110
19  down Jarv88
Paul Jarvis
28 108
20  down Edgbaston
Micheal Dinneen
31 108
21  up Flying squad
Matt Jarvis
46 107
22  down King Dunlap
Paul Bentz
35 107
22  up Game of Throw-Ins
Ryan Garoghan
52 107
24  down Release The Hounds
Paul Mitchell
41 106
25  up Kompany & Co
DEAN CRIPPS
43 103
26  up Bakerlona FC
Stuart Baker
47 102
27  down Golden Boys
Stephanie Cripps
35 100
28  down mrs mcgoo
laura barrett
40 100
29  same Upper Bullens
Andy Taylor
40 99
30  up FTM
Stu Smith
47 97
31  up Your Ad Here
Matthew Hopkins
45 96
32  down disco dancer
darren frankland
36 94
32  down cookster fc
Peter Cook
29 94
34  up Emergency Gap Jumper
Ian Williams
47 94
35  same The Vinegar Pissers
P Hawkins
42 93
36  down The Craggy Islanders
Adrian Roche
32 93
37  up Real Jorvik
Simon Brown
43 92
38  up To Elland Back
Alan Hardy
47 91
39  down Neil Madrid
Neil Strong
36 88
40  down greenyteamy
adam greenwood
38 88
41  up Kebab Eaters Utd
Paul Howard
39 84
42  down Biscuitmen
Chris Morton
40 83
43  down musttryharder FC
Paul Telford
29 79
44  up iamgroot
scott mcgow
40 78
45  down blakes11
Steven Darling
36 77
46  down Atlético Chappers
Richard Chapman
44 75
47  up Pudding And Pie
John Seacroft
36 73
48  same Pretty Schitty City
Alex Michaluk
27 68
49  down We are Ayling
Paul Murray
21 67
50  same Shoelace Untied
Caroline Strong
19 47

 

Manager of the week – Hornets – 80 points

Straight to the top of the league and in pole position for the first manager of the month prize go league newcomers, Hornets. Player of the week, Marcos Alonso, top scored, with added double figure totals courtesy of our goal of the week scorer, Aaron Mooy, and Paul Pogba and Romelu Lukaku. Pogba, along with Henrik Mkhitaryan, are top of the midfielder points, and at long last making those transfer fees seem worthwhile. Lukaku, meanwhile, isn’t wasting any time. He’s the most selected and was the most captained this gameweek.

Player of the week – Marcos Alonso – 16 points

Hopefully there weren’t too many kneejerk reactions to Cheslea’s poor showing against Burnley last week. Alonso has very quickly reminded us why he’s the most expensive defender, by basically playing as an attacker, and curling in a trademark beauty of a free kick. Harry Kane got booked again. How many kneejerk reactions will there be to his crap start? Surely next week against Burnley is where he finally makes his mark on the season?

Bargain of the week – Harry Maguire – 15 points

Leicester look far more capable of scoring and keeping clean sheets already than at any point last season. Scoring and keeping a clean sheet is exactly what Maguire did. He seems to have cemented his starting berth although three tough fixtures in the next four await.

Twat of the week – Kyle Walker – -2 points

And if you did kneejerk away from the Chelsea defence, lets hope you didn’t plump for Kyle Walker.

Goal of the week – Aaron Mooy 

No vid. disgraceful

Gameweek 1 results

August 13, 2017

1  new Fun Lovren Criminals
Paul Callaghan
88 88
2  new INIT FC
Mustafa khan
86 86
3  new Crazylegs XI
David Caldicott
85 85
4  new Despicable Mee
Trevor Gordon
84 84
5  new Jarv88
Paul Jarvis
80 80
6  new Aquamar 1564
Noel Driver
79 79
7  new romeoshondavan
Rob Hewer
78 78
7  new Rip Roaring Reds
Sean Whyton
78 78
9  new Edgbaston
Micheal Dinneen
77 77
9  new Rico united
JASON REACHER
77 77
11  new The winnings R mine
david bruce
75 75
12  new FC Caligula
Ajay Supeda
72 72
12  new King Dunlap
Paul Bentz
72 72
14  new Gotta Light?
Andrew Swift
70 70
15  new Klopp of the Pochs
Jason Earwicker
69 69
16  new It’sOnlyAGameFarke!
David Spinks
68 68
17  new Nashton Villa
Jaime Nash
67 67
18  new cookster fc
Peter Cook
65 65
18  new Golden Boys
Stephanie Cripps
65 65
18  new Release The Hounds
Paul Mitchell
65 65
21  new mrs mcgoo
laura barrett
64 64
22  new Brexiter City
Colin Goulding
63 63
23  new Hornets
Andrew Wade
62 62
24  new The Craggy Islanders
Adrian Roche
61 61
24  new Queen of the north
DORINE REACHER
61 61
24  new Flying squad
Matt Jarvis
61 61
27  new Pure Buffoonery!
Jitesh Lakhani
60 60
27  new Kompany & Co
DEAN CRIPPS
60 60
29  new Upper Bullens
Andy Taylor
59 59
30  new disco dancer
darren frankland
58 58
31  new Bakerlona FC
Stuart Baker
55 55
31  new Game of Throw-Ins
Ryan Garoghan
55 55
33  new musttryharder FC
Paul Telford
54 54
34  new Neil Madrid
Neil Strong
52 52
35  new The Vinegar Pissers
P Hawkins
51 51
35  new Your Ad Here
Matthew Hopkins
51 51
35  new Emergency Gap Jumper
Ian Williams
51 51
38  new greenyteamy
adam greenwood
50 50
38  new FTM
Stu Smith
50 50
40  new Real Jorvik
Simon Brown
49 49
41  new Atlético Chappers
Richard Chapman
47 47
41  new Biscuitmen
Chris Morton
47 47
43  new We are Ayling
Paul Murray
46 46
44  new Kebab Eaters Utd
Paul Howard
45 45
44  new blakes11
Steven Darling
45 45
46  new To Elland Back
Alan Hardy
44 44
47  new iamgroot
scott mcgow
42 42
48  new Pretty Schitty City
Alex Michaluk
41 41
49  new Pudding And Pie
John Seacroft
37 37
50  new Shoelace Untied
Caroline Strong
32 32

 

Manager of the week –  Fun Lovren Criminals – 88 points.

It happens so often that the last game of the weekend saves a gameweek. Romelu Lukaku’s 13 point haul, doubled to 26 with the armband, was the score that took Fun Lovren Criminals to the Buckets summit for week one and win them the first manager of the week accolade. Lukaku and Harry Kane vied for top ownership and top captain choice for this opening round of fixtures. Those opting for the United forward reaped the rewards. Kane lovers had the added disappointment of seeing their man booked, and thus picking up a measly two points as skipper. Impressive Premier League club debuts from Mohamed Salah, Alexandre Lacazette and Sead Kolasinac also contributed to FLC’s early lead, and the performance of all of those four players in particular bodes well for their fantasy careers.

Player of the week – Ahmed Hegazi – 15 points.

Best debut of the lot came from West Brom’s new Egyptian centre back, Ahmed Hegazi. Tony Pulis should just play a 1-10-0-0 and be done with it. No need for attackers. Don’t be surprised if a defender ends up as West Brom’s top scorer this season. Keep 13 clean sheets, score five or six goals, get to 40 points in March, start planning your holidays. Easy.

Bargain of the week – Sam Vokes – 13 points.                                                               Twat of the week – Gary Cahill – -3 points

Week one is never without it’s surprise results. Burnley sold their main striker the evening before. Their away record last season was shocking. Chelsea, the Champions, only lost twice at home last season, kept 16 clean sheets and beat their opponents 3-0 almost a year ago. When it goes tits up in week one it feels so much worse than at any other time of the season, probably because you’ve been aching over your selection since mid July. But no-one could have seen this coming. Although, as much as I don’t see Sam Vokes clogging up too many forward lines, I also don’t see too many Chelsea defenders in any of our squads either. Are they priced too highly? Shoelace however, who are propping us all up, were unfortunate enough to plump for Cahill. But for Lukaku, and a scoring start from Sergio Aguero, mid to low priced strikers came out on top. As well as Vokes, honorable mentions should go to Steve Mounie and some bloke called Wayne Rooney.

Goal of the week – Wayne Rooney.

Lets start with a cracking header – 1m06s.

 

 

 

End of season results

May 23, 2017

up The Craggy Islanders
Adrian Roche
85 2315
down When Harry met Alli
Trevor Gordon
80 2312
same Aquamar 15
Noel Driver
77 2274
up Kebab Eaters Utd
Paul Howard
110 2255

The Craggy Islanders are our champions. By three points. I think that might be our closest finish yet. It was looking at one point, before the bonuses came in, that it might end up being a tie. I’m glad it wasn’t. I didn’t fancy the season long count back of goals scored. The Islanders won the last weekly battle 85 to 80 – the five point gap enough to take over at the top. WHMA played the All Out Attack, but to no avail. It wouldn’t have made a difference had they not bothered.

The Islanders started this season as our first manager of the week and then spent most of the next three months coming and going, in and out of the top 10. They hit a century in gameweek 14 climbing back to the summit. From that moment on they never left the top four, clinging on to first for six weeks between 16 and 22, and then next appearing in top spot when it really mattered – gameweek 38.

Meaning When Harry Met Alli must settle for second place for the second successive year. They were always in the mix. They never dropped out of the top 10 but for one week in December. From the turn of the year they took up residence in the top four and never fell below that. They were at the head of the group of teams trying to peg back Aquamar through the last third of the season, managing to take the lead in gameweek 37. Perhaps their decision to play their bench boost a week earlier than The Islanders cost them the title. We’ll never know.

And we’ll never know whether Aquamar’s itchy transfer finger cost them the top prize. Sitting in the top 3,000 worldwide in gameweek 32 with an 80 point lead over their nearest Buckets challenger, they went on a complete transfer bender making 19 in the last six weeks. Not having Harry Kane to play out the final two weeks, however, was probably the biggest handicap. It was a season of what might have been for Aquamar, also finishing runners-up in the Buckets Cup to Shoelace Untied.

Fourth place was a battle to the death with five or so teams continuously changing places over the closing two months of the season. Kebab Eaters United eventually pipped Edgbaston to the last cash prize. Edgbaston finished fifth last year too, but do take home the prize for the May manager of the month and the highest weekly score – a record breaking 181 points in gameweek 37.

Shoelace ploughed all of their energy into winning the cup, taking 76 points worth of hits across three gameweeks in order to outscore their opponents. Curiously, they also climbed the table, proving that taking hits doesn’t necessarily always cost you points. As long as you bring in the right players. It’s not a tactic I’d suggest playing across an entire season.

Rico United were double month winners and Yeboah’s Right Foot won manager of the week more than anyone else, coming out on top four times. That’s probably pretty impressive in a 53 team league. The record still stands at seven in a 26 team league.

Alexis Sanchez topped the player charts by some distance, although had Harry Kane played out a full season, it’s probable he’d have collected more points. He finished joint third with Eden Hazard, and just behind Dele Alli, but missed eight games with injury. Tom Heaton was the top goalkeeper. He kept ten clean sheets, and headed both the saves made and bonus points tables to finish ahead of Hugo Lloris and Thibault Courtois. The Chelsea defence ruled. No-one got close to Cahill, Alonso and Azpilicueta. Kane, Hazard, Kevin De Bruyne and Romelu Lukaku topped the bonus charts, all scoring 33. Marcos Alonso’s value rose the most over the course of the season, £0.9 million to £6.9 million.

Picking a bargain buy of the season hasn’t been as easy as last year when we had so many Leicester players to choose from. West Brom’s second top scorer, Gareth McAuley, deserves a mention. The 804 year old defender started as a £4.5 million back up in many teams but probably lasted the distance thanks to his steady return of goals and clean sheets – up until the point that West Brom reached 40 points and they got the holiday brochures out. Josh King’s second half of the season was as prolific as any of the elite forward players in the league. Only Sanchez and Alli scored more from midfield. From gameweek 20 onwards he contributed in 13 of the 18 games he played in. Expect a position change and starting price rise for next season.

See you then.

Gameweek 34 preview

April 21, 2017

Bournemouth 15:00 Middlesbrough
Hull 15:00 Watford
Swansea 15:00 Stoke
West Ham 15:00 Everton
Burnley 14:15 Man Utd
Liverpool 16:30 Crystal Palace
Chelsea 19:45 Southampton
Arsenal 19:45 Leicester
Middlesbrough 19:45 Sunderland
Crystal Palace 20:00 Spurs
Man City 20:00 Man Utd

It just doesn’t seem right not handing the captaincy to a player in a team playing twice during a double gameweek. That is unless it’s the worst double gameweek of all time. This one.

Palace are virtually safe and have two fixtures against much better teams with much more to play for. Spurs are taking teams apart at the moment. Two consecutive 4-0 victories could quite easily become three by 10pm on Wednesday. Christian Benteke is one of the most infuriating and belligerent FPL strikers of all time. Despite being in double figures for goals, he’s nowhere on the bonus table. Part of the skill of picking up bonuses is being able to pass and dribble – Benteke knows how to do neither. In Novemeber he went on a three week spree accumulating 28 points. It took him 15 more gameweeks to score the same total.

Middlesbrough can’t score. Don’t score. Probably won’t score. Even against Sunderland. They’ve only won four games. Their last victory was in December. Although they do like a 0-0. So bringing in a couple of Boro defenders could be worthwhile. No, not really – next week they play Manchester City. The week after its Chelsea. Don’t lumber yourself with Middlesbrough defenders.

Manchester United – surely rich pickings there for a double gameweek. Not necessarily. Progressing in the Europa League after extra time is the second worst thing that could have happened. The worst being the likely season ending injury to Zlatan Ibrahimovic, who had made his way into many teams already ahead of this week. Even if neither of those things had happened, it’s likely their star man would have only played one game. United are rotating wildly at the moment, and will have to again. Who knows who could take the field against Burnley.

So you might as well pick Harry Kane or Romelu Lukaku. Or Phil Jagielka. This could be one of those double gameweeks in which a single gameweeker records the highest score. It’s a dilemma. I imagine most managers will have taken a look at the GW37 double gameweek and decided that was the one to wildcard for, so it’ll be interesting to see how many of us have actually been bothered to indulge this week’s fixtures.

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