Gameweek 26 results

Hi. Remember me. The longest, most arduous, painful, wet and windy gameweek in history has finally come to a close. It started on the 8th February. Before weather had been invented and Manchester City had something to play for. And finally ended last night. I’ll be honest, I have absolutely no recollection of the first few games. We had a game postponed – then rearranged, thankfully within the same gameweek. Only in this country could we have a winter break and still have a game postponed?! Last night’s rearranged fixture gave us another KDB masterclass. Particularly pleasing for those that gave him the armband. Whatever the uncertainty at City at the moment – he stays.

And we have new leaders…

Nashton have been threatening to rise to the top. They’ve bagged green arrows in nine of the last eleven weeks, scoring above average in ten of those weeks. Their nearest challenger in the top ten this week was 14 points adrift of their 77 point total. They’ve finished top ten in each of the last two manager of the month tables and are in with a chance of finally scooping a prize in this one. They have their second wildcard remaining, but are out of chips. Have they disarmed themselves? How are they going to negotiate the doubles and blanks?

Nashton Villa
Jaime Nash
77 1539
Game of Stones
Ryan Garoghan
50 1538
FC Caligula
Ajay Supeda
63 1525
Stephen Papadopoulos
53 1517
Locky Bauer Bowyer
Paul Hawkins
47 1506
Atlético Chappers
Richard Chapman
43 1491
Tim Dodd
60 1490
Rip Roaring Reds
Sean Whyton
45 1489
Sterling Silva
57 1487
Micheal Dinneen
62 1486

Highest scorer this week is Real Jorvik, all the way down on page two. They captained KDB and picked up five bonus-strewn clean sheets. There were four 80+ scores this week, with all four teams in the bottom half of the table – two of them on page two – and including wooden spooners, ShakeItDown, who amassed 83 points thanks to a TAA triple captain punt, a triple Liverpool defence and nine out of their ten (yes, just ten) players returning something. The other two 80+ers were Rico United and Queen Of The North. It’s a shame three of the four are out of the cup. These mega-scores came a week too late.

Talking of which, we’ve had a few surprise results and early exits in the knockout competition this gameweek. Only three of the current top ten remain in the hunt. Red n White are the lowest ranked side left – and are still going strong in the Last Man Standing. Long time leaders, Locky’s were knocked out by Mister D, currently in 56th place.

Manager of the week – Real Jorvik – Simon Brown – 87 points

Player of the week – Nicolas Pepe – Arsenal – 17 points

Bargain of the week – Dominic Calvert-Lewin – Everton – 11 points

Twat of the week – Adrian Mariappa – Watford – -1 points

Goal of the week – Matej Vydra. 1m31s in. 

Gameweek 9 results

1  same But Da Pitch Ain’t 1
Trev Reams
53 621
2  same Perfidious Albion
Andrew Swift
41 598
3  up Cookie fc
Peter Cook
57 562
4  same Game of Stones
Ryan Garoghan
42 549
Adam Burnett
42 549
6  down Neil Madrid
Neil Strong
33 539
7  down Thelma and Luiz
Trevor Gordon
32 539
8  down King raggg
Steven Darling
36 539
9  same Deeney in a Bottle
Stephanie Cripps
39 533
10  up FC Caligula
Ajay Supeda
40 531
11  down Edgbaston
Micheal Dinneen
38 529
65 524
13  same The Craggy Islanders
Adrian Roche
42 522
14  down Need son luck
Matt Jarvis
34 517
15  down Bielsa Ringing
Alan Hardy
46 512
16  down Upper Bullens
Andy Taylor
44 508
17  up Musttryharder fc
Paul Telford
55 496
18  down Mour Salt and Pep
Noel Driver
39 496
19  up The Big Lewandowski
Paul Callaghan
48 492
20  up Kompany & Co
46 491
20  same PenshawPerformers
david bruce
38 491
22  down Pretty Schitty City
Alex Michaluk
32 485
23  up Your Ad Here
Matthew Hopkins
54 485
24  down Frostee Rucker
Paul Bentz
30 484
25  same FTM
Stu Smith
46 481
26  same CAS Vampire Slayers
Mustafa khan
42 477
27  down romeoshondavan
Rob Hewer
32 473
28  up Hoose Reus
James Whitfield
49 472
29  up Shoelace Untied
Caroline Strong
55 469
30  down Pique Blinders
Colin Goulding
41 466
31  down Crazy Leg XI
David Caldicott
42 465
32  up Aribo Haribo
Paul Hawkins
43 460
33  up Dinamo Spinks
David Spinks
49 457
34  down Fake Madrid
Andrew Wade
30 455
35  up Dropit like its Hart
Jason Earwicker
41 455
36  down Bakerlona
Stuart Baker
39 453
37 451
38  up Morningblues
Jeff Morning
54 451
39  up El Loco No Joko
Paul Murray
47 447
40  down Rip Roaring Reds
Sean Whyton
37 446
41  up Nashton Villa
Jaime Nash
62 446
42  down Salah Buffoon!!!
Jitesh Lakhani
44 445
43  down Real Jorvik
Simon Brown
34 439
44  down ClipityKlopptotitle
tanya thursby
31 439
45  down Greeeenteeam
adam greenwood
31 429
46  down It’s coming home
scott mcgow
29 418
47  up Kebab Eaters Utd
Paul Howard
42 418
48  down Atlético Chappers
Richard Chapman
31 414
49  up Hemel Hotspurs
Paul Jarvis
48 413
50  up Puddle Splash Van
Ian Williams
52 410
51  up Ross’s champions
darren frankland
45 388
52  down The Mindless Morons
John Seacroft
13 385


Manager of the week – Rico United – Jason Reacher – 65 points

Not a great week for scoring heavily with many of the top 10 stumbling and struggling to get over 40 points. Matt Doherty, as the most transferred in player, was bound to mess up and duly did, and he took the rest of the Wolves team down with him. Eden Hazard blanked and took a booking into the bargain and the uncertainty over the Liverpool line up ultimately didn’t mean that much with only a 1-0 win and a goal scored by the player vacating the most teams, Mo Salah. Rico made a charge from the pack and climbed toward the top 10 with a hard earned 65 points, given a last minute boost by a second consecutive brace off the bench by Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang. He doesn’t need to start. Time to start squeezing Arsenal assets in to your team somehow.

There are lots of managers in with a chance of sneaking the October manager of the month, Rico included. Inevitably, Da Pitch are loitering. They extended their overall lead and now sit in the top 2,000 overall.

1  same Salah Buffoon!!!
Jitesh Lakhani
44 134
2  up But Da Pitch Ain’t 1
Trev Reams
53 124
65 123
4  up Cookie fc
Peter Cook
57 117
5  up Shoelace Untied
Caroline Strong
55 117
6  down Deeney in a Bottle
Stephanie Cripps
39 115
7  down Game of Stones
Ryan Garoghan
42 112
8  up FTM
Stu Smith
46 110
9  down Edgbaston
Micheal Dinneen
38 109
10  same Dropit like its Hart
Jason Earwicker
41 106
11  down Rip Roaring Reds
Sean Whyton
37 104
12  up Kompany & Co
46 104


Player of the week – Jordan Pickford – Everton – 15 points

It was only Everton’s second clean sheet. Many managers were dispensing of Pickford and Everton defenders with prices starting to drop, so they were bound to make you regret that decision sooner or later. It maybe wasn’t much of a surprise that it came against Palace though. They’ve only found the net five times this season.

Bargain of the week – Fernandinho – Manchester City – 14 points

This tends to happen once a season. Fernandinho will not score or assist or collect top bonus marks again for another year. Do not replace Eden Hazard with Fernandinho.

Twat of the week – Callum Chambers – Fulham – -1 points

Fulham are leaky. So leaky they let Cardiff score four against them. His score could have been much worse because he was lucky to escape a second caution. Every Fulham defender bar two has suffered a price drop so far this season – and one of those two hasn’t played a game yet.

Goal of the week – Riyad Mahrez. 9 minutes in. Ah Oui!


End of season results

up The Craggy Islanders
Adrian Roche
85 2315
down When Harry met Alli
Trevor Gordon
80 2312
same Aquamar 15
Noel Driver
77 2274
up Kebab Eaters Utd
Paul Howard
110 2255

The Craggy Islanders are our champions. By three points. I think that might be our closest finish yet. It was looking at one point, before the bonuses came in, that it might end up being a tie. I’m glad it wasn’t. I didn’t fancy the season long count back of goals scored. The Islanders won the last weekly battle 85 to 80 – the five point gap enough to take over at the top. WHMA played the All Out Attack, but to no avail. It wouldn’t have made a difference had they not bothered.

The Islanders started this season as our first manager of the week and then spent most of the next three months coming and going, in and out of the top 10. They hit a century in gameweek 14 climbing back to the summit. From that moment on they never left the top four, clinging on to first for six weeks between 16 and 22, and then next appearing in top spot when it really mattered – gameweek 38.

Meaning When Harry Met Alli must settle for second place for the second successive year. They were always in the mix. They never dropped out of the top 10 but for one week in December. From the turn of the year they took up residence in the top four and never fell below that. They were at the head of the group of teams trying to peg back Aquamar through the last third of the season, managing to take the lead in gameweek 37. Perhaps their decision to play their bench boost a week earlier than The Islanders cost them the title. We’ll never know.

And we’ll never know whether Aquamar’s itchy transfer finger cost them the top prize. Sitting in the top 3,000 worldwide in gameweek 32 with an 80 point lead over their nearest Buckets challenger, they went on a complete transfer bender making 19 in the last six weeks. Not having Harry Kane to play out the final two weeks, however, was probably the biggest handicap. It was a season of what might have been for Aquamar, also finishing runners-up in the Buckets Cup to Shoelace Untied.

Fourth place was a battle to the death with five or so teams continuously changing places over the closing two months of the season. Kebab Eaters United eventually pipped Edgbaston to the last cash prize. Edgbaston finished fifth last year too, but do take home the prize for the May manager of the month and the highest weekly score – a record breaking 181 points in gameweek 37.

Shoelace ploughed all of their energy into winning the cup, taking 76 points worth of hits across three gameweeks in order to outscore their opponents. Curiously, they also climbed the table, proving that taking hits doesn’t necessarily always cost you points. As long as you bring in the right players. It’s not a tactic I’d suggest playing across an entire season.

Rico United were double month winners and Yeboah’s Right Foot won manager of the week more than anyone else, coming out on top four times. That’s probably pretty impressive in a 53 team league. The record still stands at seven in a 26 team league.

Alexis Sanchez topped the player charts by some distance, although had Harry Kane played out a full season, it’s probable he’d have collected more points. He finished joint third with Eden Hazard, and just behind Dele Alli, but missed eight games with injury. Tom Heaton was the top goalkeeper. He kept ten clean sheets, and headed both the saves made and bonus points tables to finish ahead of Hugo Lloris and Thibault Courtois. The Chelsea defence ruled. No-one got close to Cahill, Alonso and Azpilicueta. Kane, Hazard, Kevin De Bruyne and Romelu Lukaku topped the bonus charts, all scoring 33. Marcos Alonso’s value rose the most over the course of the season, £0.9 million to £6.9 million.

Picking a bargain buy of the season hasn’t been as easy as last year when we had so many Leicester players to choose from. West Brom’s second top scorer, Gareth McAuley, deserves a mention. The 804 year old defender started as a £4.5 million back up in many teams but probably lasted the distance thanks to his steady return of goals and clean sheets – up until the point that West Brom reached 40 points and they got the holiday brochures out. Josh King’s second half of the season was as prolific as any of the elite forward players in the league. Only Sanchez and Alli scored more from midfield. From gameweek 20 onwards he contributed in 13 of the 18 games he played in. Expect a position change and starting price rise for next season.

See you then.

Gameweek 37 preview

Arsenal v Everton
Burnley v West Ham
Chelsea v Sunderland
Hull v Spurs
Leicester v Bournemouth
Liverpool v Middlesbrough
Man Utd v Crystal Palace
Southampton v Stoke
Swansea v West Brom
Watford v Man City

We’ve made it to the final week of the season. The race for this year’s Buckets title is between three teams. When Harry Met Alli lead The Craggy Islanders by two points. Long time leaders, Aquamar, are 30 or so points back in third. WHMA have their All Out Attack chip remaining, and given the crazy goalfests you often get in gameweek 38, it might be the best time to play it. It might be what gets them over the line ahead of their rivals.

Five other teams go into the week with a realistic chance of finishing fourth. Kebab Eaters United have their All Out Attack remaining. Hedgehog Corpse have a triple captain to play, and they have Gabriel Jesus and Alexis Sanchez in their squad. Manchester City and Arsenal are two of the three teams left with something to play for and those two players were two of the top five scorers from last week’s mega double gameweek. That’s not to rule out last week’s high scorers, Edgbaston, last year’s champs, FC Caligula, and double manager of the month, Rico United. It’s the creme de la creme.

The other team with something to fight for are Liverpool, who, due to their lack of action in double gameweeks, have fallen off the fantasy radar a little. Their rout of West Ham last week, and the fact they take on a relegated Middlesbrough at home this week, should turn your attention to that elite midfield bunch of theirs for one last time this season. Philippe Coutinho seems the obvious choice and would only cost £8.6 million. They’ve also finally figured out how to defend with four clean sheets in their last five. Joel Matip leads the way in their defence with three two point bonus performances in that run.

Gameweek 37 preview

Everton v Watford
West Brom v Chelsea
Man City v Leicester
Bournemouth v Burnley
Middlesbrough v Southampton
Sunderland v Swansea
Stoke v Arsenal
Crystal Palace v Hull
West Ham v Liverpool
Spurs v Man Utd
Chelsea v Watford
Arsenal v Sunderland
Man City v West Brom
Southampton v Man Utd
Leicester v Spurs

Here it is. The gameweek that will probably decide so much. The title chase could take a dramatic turn this week. It’s a three horse race. Aquamar have been at the top since February 2nd. They built a lead, but over the last few weeks, The Craggy Islanders and When Harry Met Alli have chipped away. Aquamar go into this double gameweek with 12 players potentially playing twice, as do WHMA. Both have played their bench boost. The Craggy Islanders haven’t. They have 13 players lined up for a double appearance and their bench boost chip remaining. They’ve two free transfers this week. Expect 15 double gameweekers and put your money on The Craggy Islanders for the trophy.

The race for fourth should be as keenly contested. Rico, Hedgehogs, Kebab Eaters, Edgbaston and Caligula are separated by 38 points. Rico are in the box seat at the moment but have no wildcards or chips remaining. Hedgehogs are somehow still sat on their bench boost AND triple captain. Kebab Eaters have a wildcard left, and both Edgbaston and Caligula have their bench boost to play. I’m predicting a bench boost bonanza this week. How well that chip is played will probably determine our fourth place finisher.

Release The Hounds are the current holders of the highest weekly score. It’s 108 points, and they managed that in GW21. That’s got to go this week. If When Harry Met Alli can get a triple figure score from a double gameweek in which only two teams played twice, imagine what could be achieved this week. Ten teams take to the pitch for a second time, and that includes five of the top six. That’s 21 of the top 30 available players POTENTIALLY playing twice.

But only potentially. Chelsea could have the league wrapped up by this evening. If that happens, with the FA Cup final on the horizon, expect rotation for the Watford game. John Terry is bound to get a run out. Cesc Fabregas and Willian deserve more than a few more cameo appearances and will also probably start. We need a West Brom result – with a few Chelsea goals. That would keep Spurs going too. There’s less chance of rotation at the Lane, mainly because there’s not really anyone to rotate to, but how demoralised might they be come Sunday knowing they came so close for a second consecutive year? Surely Harry Kane’s pursuit of the golden boot should keep him motivated. It’s tricky. With something to play for, Arsenal and Manchester City are much better placed for this gameweek. If you’ve a wildcard kicking around – lucky you.