Gameweek 29 results

I didn’t set up my team this week with an international pandemic in mind, otherwise I doubt I’d have captained Aubameyang and brought in three Arsenal players to try my luck on the double gameweek. A double gameweek that was announced and then cancelled within a matter of days. It’s clear from the league table that I’m not the only one who had pinned my hopes on some big scores coming from the teams playing twice. It can’t always be relied upon, but it’s too much of a temptation to turn down for some managers. So we’re left with a semi-complete gameweek and no idea when – or even IF – the cancelled game will get played. As it stands, GW30 is going ahead – and the blank GW31 with it’s accompanying FA Cup games. But who knows?

There has been a lot of change at the top of the league and two very closely contested and low scoring Buckets Cup semi-finals. An don’t mention Last Man Standing. I mean the prize might literally go to the last one of us able to stand.

1
FC Caligula
Ajay Supeda
80 1690
2
Game of Stones
Ryan Garoghan
66 1686
3
Nashton Villa
Jaime Nash
46 1671
4
Edgbaston
Micheal Dinneen
67 1644
5
Locky Bauer Bowyer
Paul Hawkins
43 1643
6
DaSilvaortheFreD
Stephen Papadopoulos
45 1632
7
BASHAM’S ARRIVING!
Tim Dodd
62 1630
8
Rip Roaring Reds
Sean Whyton
58 1626
9
Soup-or-Boom.
Ian Driver
70 1613
10
Sterling Silva
DEAN CRIPPS
50 1592

Caligula race to the top with a week-winning score of 80 points, capitalising on the no-show of captain Kevin De Bruyne, taking five additional points from the bench and nine more from their promoted vice. Having Harvey Barnes helped. And persevering with Jamie Vardy too – in the week I feel a lot of people may have eventually got rid to accommodate Arsenal and/or Manchester City players.

It was a bad week for Nashton Villa who relinquished the top spot in the league and were knocked out of the cup. Mister D triumphed 50-46, thanks largely to Ayoze Perez not taking part in Leicester’s 4-0 thumping of Villa. A double knife to the heart of the Nashton manager. Chris Wood was promoted from the bench to the tune of 9 points, enough to see them over the line. The second semi-final was totally drab. Neil Madrid prevailed 41-37 against Queen Of The North. “You can only beat what’s put in front of you”, I will repeatedly say if anyone dare suggest it’s a fix.

Manager of the week – FC Caligula – Ajay Supeda – 80 points

Player of the week – Harvey Barnes – Leicester City – 19 points

Bargain of the week – Alex McCarthy – Southampton – 12 points

Twat of the week – Moussa Djenepo – Southampton – -2 points

Goal of the week – Mason Mount. At 28s in.

Gameweek 28 results and February Manager of the Month

The blank gameweek. So called because some teams don’t play. Or in the case of this horror show, when all your players DON’T SCORE ANY POINTS. Well done if you picked three players who returned. Congrats if you got out a full XI. Kudos if you beat the average – a measly 26. It’s definitely the lowest scoring week of the season. It may even be the lowest scoring week EVER. The same thing could have happened last week had Liverpool not brought home the bacon. Even the ever reliable champions elect couldn’t come to our rescue this time out. 

1
Nashton Villa
Jaime Nash
29 1625
2
Game of Stones
Ryan Garoghan
26 1620
3
FC Caligula
Ajay Supeda
31 1610
4
Locky Bauer Bowyer
Paul Hawkins
42 1600
5
DaSilvaortheFreD
Stephen Papadopoulos
25 1587
6
Edgbaston
Micheal Dinneen
29 1577
7
BASHAM’S ARRIVING!
Tim Dodd
24 1572
8
Rip Roaring Reds
Sean Whyton
22 1568
9
Sterling Silva
DEAN CRIPPS
29 1546
10
Atlético Chappers
Richard Chapman
18 1546

Kante Fit My Willian took the opportunity to free hit to stake a claim for the February manager of the month award. And it worked. Although I’m not sure that mustering 53 points from a free hit would normally be a satisfactory end total. Still, it was twice as much as most of the rest of us managed. The best weekly score pushed them over the line to bag the best monthly score. So…well deserved. Marcos Alonso was the difference. The Chelsea bouffant has posted some incredible stats this season. Lampard obviously doesn’t fancy him, limiting him to just nine starts, yet he’s returned in eight of those at an average of nearly 8 points a game. He’s still playing in the same way as he always used to, being so far forward, he’s in a different stadium. Will he finally nail down a place? Look out for him when Chelsea double gameweek rolls round.

The Buckets Cup semi-finalists have been decided. The unpredictability of the recent weeks has left us with two bottom half teams competing for a spot in the final. Based on their last three gameweek scores, both Mister D (48th) and Queen Of The North (40th) could be in with a chance. Both outscored their higher-placed opponents, Nashton Villa (1st) and Neil Madrid (13th)

Manager of the week – Paul Callaghan – Kante Fit My Willian – 53 points

Player of the week – Ismaila Sarr – Watford – 19 points

Bargain of the week – Jamal Lewis – Norwich City – 15 points

Twat of the week – Ezequiel Scheletto – Brighton and Hove Albion – -1 points

Goal of the week – Ismaila Sarr. 6m36s (2nd goal)

Gameweek 26 results

Hi. Remember me. The longest, most arduous, painful, wet and windy gameweek in history has finally come to a close. It started on the 8th February. Before weather had been invented and Manchester City had something to play for. And finally ended last night. I’ll be honest, I have absolutely no recollection of the first few games. We had a game postponed – then rearranged, thankfully within the same gameweek. Only in this country could we have a winter break and still have a game postponed?! Last night’s rearranged fixture gave us another KDB masterclass. Particularly pleasing for those that gave him the armband. Whatever the uncertainty at City at the moment – he stays.

And we have new leaders…

Nashton have been threatening to rise to the top. They’ve bagged green arrows in nine of the last eleven weeks, scoring above average in ten of those weeks. Their nearest challenger in the top ten this week was 14 points adrift of their 77 point total. They’ve finished top ten in each of the last two manager of the month tables and are in with a chance of finally scooping a prize in this one. They have their second wildcard remaining, but are out of chips. Have they disarmed themselves? How are they going to negotiate the doubles and blanks?

1
Nashton Villa
Jaime Nash
77 1539
2
Game of Stones
Ryan Garoghan
50 1538
3
FC Caligula
Ajay Supeda
63 1525
4
DaSilvaortheFreD
Stephen Papadopoulos
53 1517
5
Locky Bauer Bowyer
Paul Hawkins
47 1506
6
Atlético Chappers
Richard Chapman
43 1491
7
BASHAM’S ARRIVING!
Tim Dodd
60 1490
8
Rip Roaring Reds
Sean Whyton
45 1489
9
Sterling Silva
DEAN CRIPPS
57 1487
10
Edgbaston
Micheal Dinneen
62 1486

Highest scorer this week is Real Jorvik, all the way down on page two. They captained KDB and picked up five bonus-strewn clean sheets. There were four 80+ scores this week, with all four teams in the bottom half of the table – two of them on page two – and including wooden spooners, ShakeItDown, who amassed 83 points thanks to a TAA triple captain punt, a triple Liverpool defence and nine out of their ten (yes, just ten) players returning something. The other two 80+ers were Rico United and Queen Of The North. It’s a shame three of the four are out of the cup. These mega-scores came a week too late.

Talking of which, we’ve had a few surprise results and early exits in the knockout competition this gameweek. Only three of the current top ten remain in the hunt. Red n White are the lowest ranked side left – and are still going strong in the Last Man Standing. Long time leaders, Locky’s were knocked out by Mister D, currently in 56th place.

Manager of the week – Real Jorvik – Simon Brown – 87 points

Player of the week – Nicolas Pepe – Arsenal – 17 points

Bargain of the week – Dominic Calvert-Lewin – Everton – 11 points

Twat of the week – Adrian Mariappa – Watford – -1 points

Goal of the week – Matej Vydra. 1m31s in. 

Gameweek 22 results

Last week FTM scored 26 points. It was their lowest total of the season and saw them exit the Last Man Standing competition. Fast forward seven days and with just one transfer made, they’re this week’s outstanding team. It’s even more spectacular when considering that the transfer they made was to switch Harry Kane for, of all people, Troy Deeney. Deeney’s goal, Jorginho’s promotion from the bench and Rashford coming through as captain combined to help FTM make back most of the 600,000 or so places lost by last week’s horror show. They shared their 81 point haul with Queen Of The North, but FTM outscored them by six goals to five.

1
Locky Bauer Bowyer
Paul Hawkins
63 1329
2
Game of Stones
Ryan Garoghan
62 1300
3
Sterling Silva
DEAN CRIPPS
65 1295
4
FC Caligula
Ajay Supeda
60 1290
5
Atlético Chappers
Richard Chapman
60 1288
6
musttryharder fc
Paul Telford
73 1282
7
Edgbaston
Micheal Dinneen
66 1279
8
Rip Roaring Reds
Sean Whyton
60 1259
9
DaSilvaortheFreD
Stephen Papadopoulos
66 1259
10
Nashton Villa
Jaime Nash
54 1254

There wasn’t much to choose between managers this week. Three top ten teams managed 60 points and most of the league posted around that total. Very few dipped below 50 or crept above 70. Musttryharder made the most ground within the top ten with a 73 point total, climbing one place in Buckets and 100,000 overall. It came with the help of a bench boost that added an extra 9 points. We’ll have to wait and see whether that was an ill-judged move ahead of double gameweek season. Also interesting to see that Locky’s have played their new wildcard already.

Regards Last Man Standing – I think we’re getting to the stage now where no-one’s really safe from elimination, regardless of where you are in the league. Soup-or-Boom, currently in 11th, left us this week, scoring 49 points along with Cook Pass Babtridge, scoring 48. Nashton, currently in 10th, were next on the chopping block with 54 points. That’s only three below the overall average score for the gameweek. Having said that, So Klose Yet So VAR, presently in 52nd place, are still going strong. We’re almost half way there with this competition. After GW24 there’ll be more teams eliminated than standing. Getting somewhere around average may not be enough to save you.

Manager of the week – FTM – Stu Smith – 81 ponts (6 goals)

Player of the week – Sergio Aguero – Manchester City – 20 points

Bargain of the week – Abdoulaye Doucoure – Watford – 14 points

Twat of the week – Tyrone Mings – Aston Villa – -1 points

Goal of the week – Richarlison. 45s in

 

Gameweek 38 and May Manager of the Month

1  same The Craggy Islanders
Adrian Roche
64 2448
2  same But Da Pitch Ain’t 1
Trev Reams
63 2406
3  same Perfidious Albion
Andrew Swift
55 2381
4  same Neil Madrid
Neil Strong
62 2344
5  same Bielsa Ringing
Alan Hardy
63 2323
6  same FC Caligula
Ajay Supeda
58 2314
7  same INIT FC
Mustafa khan
71 2269
8  same Shoelace Untied
Caroline Strong
69 2259
9  up Game of Stones
Ryan Garoghan
70 2219
10  down Rip Roaring Reds
Sean Whyton
40 2218
11  down Edgbaston
Micheal Dinneen
59 2216
12  same FTM
Stu Smith
67 2190
13  same Aribo Haribo
Paul Hawkins
56 2171
14  up Pretty Schitty City
Alex Michaluk
78 2163
15  down Nashton Villa
Jaime Nash
51 2150
16  down Upper Bullens
Andy Taylor
49 2144
17  up King raggg
Steven Darling
68 2144
18  down Frostee Rucker
Paul Bentz
53 2137
19  same Kebab Eaters Utd
Paul Howard
59 2122
20  same Salah Buffoon!!!
Jitesh Lakhani
51 2113
21  same Deeney in a Bottle
Stephanie Cripps
49 2104
22  up Cookie fc
Peter Cook
45 2091
23  down Mour Salt and Pep
Noel Driver
36 2086
24  up Crazy Leg XI
David Caldicott
68 2080
25  up RICO UNITED
JASON REACHER
73 2068
26  up Fake Madrid
Andrew Wade
72 2067
27  up SLABHEAD FC
Adam Burnett
80 2063
28  down Dinamo Spinks
David Spinks
39 2060
29  down Musttryharder fc
Paul Telford
44 2047
30  down Need son luck
Matt Jarvis
48 2042
31  up Kompany & Co
DEAN CRIPPS
63 2037
32  down PenshawPerformers
david bruce
39 2031
33  up The Big Lewandowski
Paul Callaghan
77 2025
34  same Real Jorvik
Simon Brown
68 2013
35  up Dropit like its Hart
Jason Earwicker
65 1999
36  up Hemel Hotspurs
Paul Jarvis
67 1999
37  up Atlético Chappers
Richard Chapman
93 1998
38  down Your Ad Here
Matthew Hopkins
31 1995
39  same Puddle Splash Van
Ian Williams
88 1995
40  up QUEEN OF THE NORTH
DORINE REACHER
76 1978
41  down Greeeenteeam
adam greenwood
53 1964
42  same El Loco No Joko
Paul Murray
61 1962
43  same It’s coming home
scott mcgow
68 1961
44  same Pique Blinders
Colin Goulding
60 1934
45  same Hoose Reus
James Whitfield
52 1924
46  same Morningblues
Jeff Morning
58 1901
47  same romeoshondavan
Rob Hewer
55 1876
48  same ClipityKlopptotitle
tanya thursby
66 1871
49  same The Mindless Morons
John Seacroft
56 1796
50  same Ross’s champions
darren frankland
60 1714

 

May Manager of the Month – Queen of the North – Dorine Reacher – 76 points

The two week sprint to become May manager of the month was won by Queen of the North. Despite racking up some big totals over the season and winning three weekly awards (the joint highest), consistency was lacking. They won by a point, playing their free hit and bench boost in the last two weeks. A curious decision which only just worked.

Manager of the week – Atletico Chappers – Richard Chapman – 93 points

Chappers’ season panned out in a similar fashion to QOTN’s. Occasional mega totals were lost in among a sea of guff. This is also their third weekly triumph. They challenged for the highest weekly score prize with a 121 point total in GW35 and won the February manager of the month off the back of an 86 point haul in GW27 – the 1,226th best score in the world that week. Chappers regularly jumped a million in rank one week only to plummet back to where they started the next.

Player of the week – Nathaniel Mendez-Laing – Cardiff City – 16 points

Only 3,002 players benefited from Mendez-Laing’s weekly high in the entire game. He claims Cardiff’s fourth weekly player accolade, two more than the “team” they beat this week, Manchester United. In fact, United only managed two player awards, joint equal lowest with Fulham and Huddersfield. Cardiff went down on a deserved high given the tragedy that beset them earlier in the season.

Bargain of the week – Fabian Schar – Newcastle United – 15 points

Schar’s third player award – one more than Manchester United. An impressive return for a cut price Newcastle defender who only played two thirds of the season’s games. Newcastle were on the right side of a typical GW38 thumping with the Swiss scoring, keeping a clean sheet and collecting top bonus.

Twat of the week – Jose Holebas – Watford – -4 points

Picked up the first twat of last season and the last of this – plus a few more in between I think. This list isn’t complete without an appearance from Jose. Well done son. You made it.

Goal of the week – Jefferson Lerma. Screamer 1m48s.