May Manager of the Month – Pretty Schitty City – Alex Michaluk – 188 points

Not a bad two weeks work for PSC scoring almost as much as the leading manager for August and October, both of which were three gameweek months. Having a double gameweek and the usually bonkers final gameweek always helps provide a high score. Their monthly triumph has been largely helped by a mini-resurgence in Leicester’s fortunes and Mahrez and Vardy posting big scores for the final two weeks. Leicester aren’t on the beach anymore. They’ve been on holiday and come back.

1  up Pretty Schitty City
Alex Michaluk
85 188
2  up Your Ad Here
Matthew Hopkins
88 180
3  down It’sOnlyAGameFarke!
David Spinks
66 178
4  down Pure Buffoonery!
Jitesh Lakhani
54 170
5  same Klopp of the Pochs
Jason Earwicker
58 160
6  up Neil Madrid
Neil Strong
84 160
6  up Despicable Mee
Trevor Gordon
67 160

Manager of the week – Your Ad Here – Matthew Hopkins – 88 points

YAH finished second in the May table trailing PSC by eight points. They opted to wildcard in GW36 and bench boost in GW37, probably with one eye on pushing for the last available monthly award, and maybe the highest weekly score prize too. Their week winning score came without Mo Salah, but with equally as effective contributions from four end-of-season form horses, Marko Arnautovic, Wilfried Zaha, Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang and Ayoze Perez. All backed up a long overdue Harry Kane brace, but weren’t quite enough to pinch the monthly award.

Player of the week – Andrew Robertson – 18 points

A goal, assist, clean sheet and top bonus marks. The full house from the Liverpool full back was matched by Patrick Van Aanholt for Palace, but Robertson did it all for £0.2 million less. It makes all the difference. He’ll be much sought after next season.

Bargain of the week – Ayoze Perez – 13 points

Ending the season with a flourish, this is Perez’s second bargain player award in the last two months and his third double figure score in the same period. It was achieved with his fifth and sixth goals in his last eight games. And he’s meant to be on the beach.

Twat of the week – Christian Fuchs – -2 points

Scoring an own goal in the craziest scoring game of the day was never going to help anyone hoping to keep their head above water. Fuchs dipped into the minus scores after a shot destined for a thrown-in rebounded off his knee and into the net. Leicester defenders have been a no go area all season, much like they always have been, even when they’re winning the league.

Goal of the week – Kelechi Iheanacho. 1m47s

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1  same Hornets
Andrew Wade
47 623
2  up Gotta Light?
Andrew Swift
58 582
3  up The winnings R mine
david bruce
65 578
4  down The Vinegar Pissers
P Hawkins
42 576
5  same Rip Roaring Reds
Sean Whyton
48 575
6  down Fun Lovren Criminals
Paul Callaghan
43 574
7  down Kompany & Co
DEAN CRIPPS
30 573
8  up Neil Madrid
Neil Strong
73 568
9  down The Craggy Islanders
Adrian Roche
47 566
10  down INIT FC
Mustafa khan
54 562
11  up Despicable Mee
Trevor Gordon
68 561
12  same Crazylegs XI
David Caldicott
51 553
13  down It’sOnlyAGameFarke!
David Spinks
42 545
14  up Brexiter City
Colin Goulding
54 542
15  up musttryharder FC
Paul Telford
65 540
15  down Jarv88
Paul Jarvis
40 540
17  down King Dunlap
Paul Bentz
39 538
18  up Flying squad
Matt Jarvis
58 538
19  up Queen of the north
DORINE REACHER
55 537
20  down Edgbaston
Micheal Dinneen
55 537
21  down Bakerlona FC
Stuart Baker
35 522
22  up Rico united
JASON REACHER
61 519
23  same Game of Throw-Ins
Ryan Garoghan
42 519
24  up greenyteamy
adam greenwood
70 517
25  up FC Caligula
Ajay Supeda
65 516
26  down FTM
Stu Smith
48 514
27  same Real Jorvik
Simon Brown
44 509
28  down Klopp of the Pochs
Jason Earwicker
24 509
29  down Aquamar 1564
Noel Driver
45 504
30  down Golden Boys
Stephanie Cripps
24 503
31  down Kebab Eaters Utd
Paul Howard
36 503
32  down To Elland Back
Alan Hardy
45 501
33  up Pure Buffoonery!
Jitesh Lakhani
51 495
34  up Pretty Schitty City
Alex Michaluk
75 493
35  down Upper Bullens
Andy Taylor
27 489
36  down romeoshondavan
Rob Hewer
48 487
37  up Atlético Chappers
Richard Chapman
52 487
38  down Nashton Villa
Jaime Nash
36 483
39  same Your Ad Here
Matthew Hopkins
47 482
40  up Release The Hounds
Paul Mitchell
52 480
41  down We are Ayling
Paul Murray
38 477
42  down cookster fc
Peter Cook
42 472
43  down disco dancer
darren frankland
42 463
44  up Pudding And Pie
John Seacroft
45 461
45  down Shoelace Untied
Caroline Strong
41 460
46  same mrs mcgoo
laura barrett
45 446
47  same Emergency Gap Jumper
Ian Williams
45 436
48  same blakes11
Steven Darling
46 432
49  same iamgroot
scott mcgow
45 423
50  same Biscuitmen
Chris Morton
37 363

 

Manager of the month – The Craggy Islanders – 189 points

The Islanders played their free hit this week, possibly spying a good group of fixtures with which to rack up a decent amount of points. And to consolidate their lead at the top of the monthly rankings and guarantee them the monthly award. Or was it just find a solution to the Kane absence? I’m not sure the chip had its full effect with only one of the chosen XI getting into double figures, but the lead was held and the money was won.

1  same The Craggy Islanders
Adrian Roche
47 189
2  up Despicable Mee
Trevor Gordon
68 178
3  up Gotta Light?
Andrew Swift
58 174
4  down Rip Roaring Reds
Sean Whyton
48 174
5  down Game of Throw-Ins
Ryan Garoghan
42 172

 

Manager of the week – Pretty Schitty City – 75 points

A strong defence and a timely substitution helped City to the top score. Harry Kane was in the starting XI despite the confirmed reports of his injury. That might be an indicator of the complete lack of trust we have in the Spurs striker at the moment. Steven Davis was lined up as first reserve and took his place to the tune of 10 points.

Player of the week – Saed Kolasinac – 14 points

This has been coming. Arsenal defenders have been quietly racking up points without looking all that convincing. No clean sheet this week but a goal and assist from the player most likely to be this season’s Marcos Alonso…unless of course that turns out to be Marcos Alonso.

Bargain of the week – Fernandinho – 13 points

Those wondering how to squeeze a third Man City player in should look no further. Two assists and two goals is more than your average holding midfielder gets in a season.

Twat of the week – Arthur Masuaku -1 points

Thats what you get for conceding goals against Palace.

Goal of the week – Andre Ayew.

From 1m32s

Gameweek 31 results

March 22, 2016

1 FC Caligula Ajay Supeda 83 1,787
2 Your Ad Here Matthew Hopkins 82 1,764
3 Atlético Chappers Richard Chapman 82 1,716
4 Rocky Ba Bauer P Hawkins 74 1,704
5 Golden Boys Stephanie Cripps 71 1,698
6 Shoelace Untied Caroline Strong 81 1,686
7 The Kolarov Mané Trevor Gordon 77 1,684
8 Sergio Five O DEAN CRIPPS 89 1,678
9 Game of Throw ins Darren Lavelle 75 1,675
10 Edgbaston Micheal Dinneen 81 1,665
11 Pretty Schitty City Alex Michaluk 76 1,664
12 Walking with Memphis Noel Driver 73 1,661
13 SS3 FC Paul Murray 76 1,658
14 4 Lime Jellies Ian Williams 79 1,656
15 Grievous AngelRangel Andrew Swift 70 1,643
16 Bicuitmen Chris Morton 51 1,643
17 greensmeansbusiness adam greenwood 61 1,629
18 Gaalacticos Colin Goulding 75 1,629
19 JonniestaRedmondinho David Spinks 83 1,627
20 scotty2hotty scott mcgow 90 1,624
21 Hedgehog Corpse FC Nick Smith 66 1,623
22 Romeo’s Honda Van Rob Hewer 58 1,612
23 Init fc Mustafa khan 69 1,611
24 Howayman Mark Bromham 80 1,609
25 Uriah Rennie 2nd XI Neil Greenwood 63 1,606
26 The Craggy Islanders Adrian Roche 87 1,605
27 Neil Madrid Neil Strong 83 1,580
28 Bermie Utd Glen Davies 60 1,572
29 Panza Grande XI Stuart Baker 73 1,572
30 Below Par Paul Bentz 65 1,561
31 The Hardy Boys Alan Hardy 83 1,547
32 Upper Bullens Andy Taylor 78 1,534
33 RICO UNITED JASON REACHER 74 1,516
34 Rip Roaring Reds Sean Whyton 54 1,506
35 The Mindless Morons John Seacroft 60 1,491
36 Release The Hounds Paul Mitchell 66 1,486
37 Sweet Cherry Pie Jason Earwicker 72 1,453
38 Baker Bum Boys Lewis Baker 56 1,453
39 Ciderheads Darren Pope 47 1,399
40 Go Buffoons Go!!! Jitesh Lakhani 53 1,398
41 Crazy Legs XI David Caldicott 77 1,396
42 Bish Bosh Goal Simon Purnell 50 1,293
43 REAL JORVIK Simon Brown 39 1,196
44 BrussiaHairbach Alex Ritchie 34 1,140

 

This was he last gameweek of the month. I’ve only just realised. We’ve an international break next week before the final stretch of the season. So we have a manager of the month prize to dish out and that goes to FC Caligula. And not before time. Our league leaders have surprisingly only managed one pretty low scoring manager of the week prize up until now and that was only a few weeks ago in GW27. In the closest finish yet, Caligula have just pipped Walking With Memphis, Rico United, Your Ad Here, Edgbaston and Shoelace to the prize. All six teams deserve a mention having all scored three consecutive 70+ scores in the last three weeks.

1 FC Caligula Ajay Supeda 83 280
2 Walking with Memphis Noel Driver 73 279
3 RICO UNITED JASON REACHER 74 279
4 Your Ad Here Matthew Hopkins 82 276
4 Edgbaston Micheal Dinneen 81 276
6 Shoelace Untied Caroline Strong 81 275

 

As you might expect, Caligula have also progressed to the semi finals of the cup. Unlucky on Your Ad Here, their closest title rivals, who lost out 83-82. They’ll face current league champions and former cup finalists, Neil Madrid, who overcame Pretty Schitty City 83-76. Neil Madrid can count themselves lucky having opted to put Hector Bellerin on the bench. Roberto Firmino’s injury promoted Bellerin and added an extra 12 points to their total. Rico United lost out to Upper Bullens and The Craggy Islanders completed a semi final line up of three teams from the bottom half by beating Shoelace.

The common denominator to all the 80+ scores was Harry Kane’s player of the week performance against Bournemouth. Two goals, an assist and top bonus totals 16 points – 32 if you hand him the armband, as the majority of managers did this week. That includes Scotty2hotty who emerge as this weeks best scoring team topping the 90 point mark. He joins a group of three players who have won the award twice this season – the others being Riyad Mahrez, Ross Barkley and Kevin De Bruyne. He looks the player most likely to catch Riyad Mahrez on current scoring rates and has moved into third on the overall points chart.

FC Caligula remain strong favourites to win the title, and look odds on to complete a first ever double. They have yet to play their second wildcard or any of their chips. Respect to Your Ad Here who are clinging on, desperate not to let them out of their sight, and almost matching them point for point. YAH are two chips poorer. If Caligula misplay their chips and YAH hit the jackpot with their triple captain, there could be a change in the lead. Caligula are Leicester. YAH are Spurs.

 

Player of the week – Harry Kane – 16 points. In emphatic form at the moment.

Bargain of the week – Federico Fernandez – 15 points. The Villa factor.

Donkey of the week – Martin Skrtel – -1 points. Came on at half time when Liverpool were 2-0 up. They lost 3-2.

Goal of the week – Graziano Pelle. Back in amongst it. 28 points in two weeks.

 

 

 

Gameweek 27 results

February 29, 2016

1 FC Caligula Ajay Supeda 58 1,507
2 Your Ad Here Matthew Hopkins 47 1,488
3 Atlético Chappers Richard Chapman 55 1,468
4 Rocky Ba Bauer P Hawkins 48 1,460
5 Golden Boys Stephanie Cripps 46 1,459
6 Game of Throw ins Darren Lavelle 45 1,444
7 Pretty Schitty City Alex Michaluk 45 1,443
8 Bicuitmen Chris Morton 46 1,441
9 The Kolarov Mané Trevor Gordon 49 1,424
10 SS3 FC Paul Murray 46 1,422
11 4 Lime Jellies Ian Williams 38 1,421
12 Sergio Five O DEAN CRIPPS 35 1,415
13 Romeo’s Honda Van Rob Hewer 52 1,412
14 Shoelace Untied Caroline Strong 39 1,411
15 Hedgehog Corpse FC Nick Smith 47 1,411
16 Grievous AngelRangel Andrew Swift 52 1,408
17 Gaalacticos Colin Goulding 41 1,407
18 greensmeansbusiness adam greenwood 37 1,398
19 Uriah Rennie 2nd XI Neil Greenwood 46 1,393
20 Edgbaston Micheal Dinneen 28 1,389
21 Below Par Paul Bentz 39 1,387
22 JonniestaRedmondinho David Spinks 41 1,386
23 Howayman Mark Bromham 43 1,384
24 Walking with Memphis Noel Driver 50 1,382
25 Init fc Mustafa khan 39 1,376
26 scotty2hotty scott mcgow 38 1,361
27 Bermie Utd Glen Davies 40 1,353
28 The Hardy Boys Alan Hardy 33 1,346
29 The Craggy Islanders Adrian Roche 47 1,339
30 Panza Grande XI Stuart Baker 33 1,335
31 Neil Madrid Neil Strong 35 1,330
32 Rip Roaring Reds Sean Whyton 44 1,314
33 Upper Bullens Andy Taylor 50 1,312
34 The Mindless Morons John Seacroft 46 1,303
35 Release The Hounds Paul Mitchell 39 1,288
36 Baker Bum Boys Lewis Baker 45 1,251
37 RICO UNITED JASON REACHER 23 1,237
38 Ciderheads Darren Pope 43 1,221
39 Sweet Cherry Pie Jason Earwicker 51 1,217
40 Go Buffoons Go!!! Jitesh Lakhani 34 1,211
41 Crazy Legs XI David Caldicott 17 1,190
42 Bish Bosh Goal Simon Purnell 18 1,129
43 REAL JORVIK Simon Brown 10 1,053
44 BrussiaHairbach Alex Ritchie 38 1,039

 

Our leaders, FC Caligula, not only win the weekly award, but also become the first team to pass the 1500 point mark. Their 58 point total was the best of a low scoring week overall. Golden Boys dropped out of the top four for the first time since football was invented making way for Atletico Chappers and former champs, Rocky Ba Bauer. And the February Manager of the Month is….

1 The Hardy Boys Alan Hardy 33 253
2 Rocky Ba Bauer P Hawkins 48 251
3 Release The Hounds Paul Mitchell 39 249
4 Below Par Paul Bentz 39 247
5 Baker Bum Boys Lewis Baker 45 246
6 Atlético Chappers Richard Chapman 55 244
6 FC Caligula Ajay Supeda 58 244

 

…The Hardy Boys. Rocky Ba Bauer almost pegged them back but the reduced fixture list and subsequent low scores made it difficult for the chasing teams.

Congratulations to the 2892 participants in the worldwide game who took a punt on Marcus Rashford. The Manchester United youngster followed up his European scoring debut with a Premiership scoring debut. Two goals and an assist bagged him 16 points to make him player of the week.

The preliminary and first round proper of the Buckets Cup has been drawn. Click the link to see who you’ve got. Typically, FC Caligula equaled Pretty Schitty City’s 58 points from gameweek five, meaning I had to do a goal count back to determine which team got the last available bye. City scored three goals during their winning week – Caligula only managed two this week, so they go into the prelim and City take their place in round one. The Cup kicks off with the midweek games making up gameweek 28.

 

Player of the week – Marcus Rashford – 16 points. Federico Macheda. Adnan Januzaj.

Bargain of the week – Simon Francis – 9 points. I’m not sure any Buckets managers have him either.

Donkey of the week – James Chester – -1 points. Or him.

Goal of the week – Connor Wickham. Or him. Goal at 2m08s.

 

Gameweek 25 results

February 9, 2016

1 Your Ad Here Matthew Hopkins 86 1,408
2 FC Caligula Ajay Supeda 70 1,396
3 Golden Boys Stephanie Cripps 60 1,378
4 Atlético Chappers Richard Chapman 67 1,369
5 Pretty Schitty City Alex Michaluk 79 1,367
6 Bicuitmen Chris Morton 65 1,364
7 Rocky Ba Bauer P Hawkins 63 1,359
8 Game of Throw ins Darren Lavelle 66 1,358
9 SS3 FC Paul Murray 51 1,336
10 The Kolarov Mané Trevor Gordon 49 1,334
11 Sergio Five O DEAN CRIPPS 72 1,333
12 4 Lime Jellies Ian Williams 55 1,331
13 Shoelace Untied Caroline Strong 61 1,320
14 Grievous AngelRangel Andrew Swift 55 1,316
15 Uriah Rennie 2nd XI Neil Greenwood 56 1,313
16 Gaalacticos Colin Goulding 53 1,311
17 Edgbaston Micheal Dinneen 44 1,309
18 Hedgehog Corpse FC Nick Smith 62 1,307
19 Howayman Mark Bromham 58 1,306
20 greensmeansbusiness adam greenwood 50 1,301
21 Romeo’s Honda Van Rob Hewer 62 1,300
22 Walking with Memphis Noel Driver 50 1,298
23 JonniestaRedmondinho David Spinks 60 1,295
24 scotty2hotty scott mcgow 61 1,295
25 Below Par Paul Bentz 61 1,283
26 Init fc Mustafa khan 49 1,283
27 Panza Grande XI Stuart Baker 55 1,269
28 The Hardy Boys Alan Hardy 57 1,266
29 The Craggy Islanders Adrian Roche 64 1,257
30 Bermie Utd Glen Davies 47 1,256
31 Neil Madrid Neil Strong 50 1,253
32 Upper Bullens Andy Taylor 60 1,232
33 The Mindless Morons John Seacroft 56 1,217
34 Rip Roaring Reds Sean Whyton 42 1,214
35 Release The Hounds Paul Mitchell 56 1,200
36 RICO UNITED JASON REACHER 55 1,160
37 Ciderheads Darren Pope 60 1,148
38 Baker Bum Boys Lewis Baker 87 1,140
39 Go Buffoons Go!!! Jitesh Lakhani 45 1,140
40 Crazy Legs XI David Caldicott 41 1,129
41 Sweet Cherry Pie Jason Earwicker 49 1,107
42 Bish Bosh Goal Simon Purnell 78 1,088
43 REAL JORVIK Simon Brown 42 995
44 BrussiaHairbach Alex Ritchie 43 965

 

The Baker Bum Boys win week 25 with 87 points. They played their wildcard to great effect, realising the current strength of the Saints defence and bringing in Jose Font to pay alongside Eric Dier and Toby Alderweireld. Petr Cech was also transferred in. In the week he collected top bonus marks for his clean sheet. He’s now out clear at the top of the keeper charts. Mesut Ozil made a welcome return to form, and Diego Costa’s slight return to being a worthwhile fantasy player paid dividends, wearing the armband and picking up 18 points.

They beat Your Ad Here, who are our new leaders, by a point. YAH take their turn at the top of the tree ahead of FC Caligula. They drafted in Roberto Firmino who posted his third double figure score in five weeks. This moves him to the top of the overall form charts. A good week for Leicester, which admittedly is nearly every week, signals a good week for Pretty Schitty City. They bounced back into consideration, climbing up to fifth, and to within 10 points of the once seemingly uncatchable Golden Boys. Riyad Mahrez supplied 28 points as captain. His five week lean spell is well and truly forgotten. It’s three scoring weeks in succession, and his 10th double figure score.

 

Player of the week – Robert Huth – 16 points. 57 points in 7 weeks.

Bargain of the week – Maya Yoshida – 15 points. Bagged two bargain awards last season. Plays too occasionally to be a serious consideration.

Donkey of the week – Pablo Zabaleta – 0 points. Mahrez’d.

Goal of the week – Riyad Mahrez. Who else? Goal at 1m48s.

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