May Manager of the Month – Pretty Schitty City – Alex Michaluk – 188 points

Not a bad two weeks work for PSC scoring almost as much as the leading manager for August and October, both of which were three gameweek months. Having a double gameweek and the usually bonkers final gameweek always helps provide a high score. Their monthly triumph has been largely helped by a mini-resurgence in Leicester’s fortunes and Mahrez and Vardy posting big scores for the final two weeks. Leicester aren’t on the beach anymore. They’ve been on holiday and come back.

1  up Pretty Schitty City
Alex Michaluk
85 188
2  up Your Ad Here
Matthew Hopkins
88 180
3  down It’sOnlyAGameFarke!
David Spinks
66 178
4  down Pure Buffoonery!
Jitesh Lakhani
54 170
5  same Klopp of the Pochs
Jason Earwicker
58 160
6  up Neil Madrid
Neil Strong
84 160
6  up Despicable Mee
Trevor Gordon
67 160

Manager of the week – Your Ad Here – Matthew Hopkins – 88 points

YAH finished second in the May table trailing PSC by eight points. They opted to wildcard in GW36 and bench boost in GW37, probably with one eye on pushing for the last available monthly award, and maybe the highest weekly score prize too. Their week winning score came without Mo Salah, but with equally as effective contributions from four end-of-season form horses, Marko Arnautovic, Wilfried Zaha, Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang and Ayoze Perez. All backed up a long overdue Harry Kane brace, but weren’t quite enough to pinch the monthly award.

Player of the week – Andrew Robertson – 18 points

A goal, assist, clean sheet and top bonus marks. The full house from the Liverpool full back was matched by Patrick Van Aanholt for Palace, but Robertson did it all for £0.2 million less. It makes all the difference. He’ll be much sought after next season.

Bargain of the week – Ayoze Perez – 13 points

Ending the season with a flourish, this is Perez’s second bargain player award in the last two months and his third double figure score in the same period. It was achieved with his fifth and sixth goals in his last eight games. And he’s meant to be on the beach.

Twat of the week – Christian Fuchs – -2 points

Scoring an own goal in the craziest scoring game of the day was never going to help anyone hoping to keep their head above water. Fuchs dipped into the minus scores after a shot destined for a thrown-in rebounded off his knee and into the net. Leicester defenders have been a no go area all season, much like they always have been, even when they’re winning the league.

Goal of the week – Kelechi Iheanacho. 1m47s

Advertisements

Gameweek 23 preview

January 31, 2017

Arsenal v Watford
Bournemouth v Crystal Palace
Burnley v Leicester
Middlesbrough v West Brom
Sunderland v Spurs
Swansea v Southampton
Liverpool v Chelsea
West Ham v Man City
Man Utd v Hull
Stoke v Everton

 

Its the last gameweek in January. By Wednesday evening we will know our January manager of the month. We’ll also know the ten teams joining FC Caligula in the first round proper of the Buckets Cup. That draw will be made and published on the Cup page ahead of gameweek 24 which kicks off on Saturday.

The final of the cup will take place in gameweek 29 – so to get there you’ve got to negotiate gameweek 26 – which now has a reduced schedule due to it being League Cup final weekend. Manchester United and Southampton’s fixtures have been cancelled giving them, and Manchester City and Arsenal, a week off. Forward planning needed. Probably even from now. I’m sure there are many teams carrying both Zlatan and Sanchez. They’re the most owned attacker and midfielder in the game. Positioning yourself for a two free transfer week is a must. The wildcard is much better utilised for the double gameweeks up ahead. Gameweek 28 will see another reduced week as it’s FA Cup quarter final weekend, although it’s debatable as to whether there’ll be any Premier League teams left in it the way things are going. Sutton v Lincoln final all the way.

Last season the double gameweeks popped up at 34 and 37 due to the gaps in the fixture caldendar. I’ve no idea whether that will be repeated this season. It depends on how well our teams perform in Europe I suppose. With three of the four teams sitting out gameweek 26 still involved in European competition, we may have to wait that long.

The transfer window will close midway through this gameweek. It’s notable the amount of players that have swapped one Premier League side for another. All could come into future contention. Morgan Schneiderlin, Jeffrey Schlupp, Saido Berahino, Tom Carroll, Oumar Niasse and Tom Cleverley should get more game time at their new clubs. Their lack of action has seen their values drop. Schneiderlin (£4.6m) and Berahino (£6m) look particularity attractive.

Robert Snodgrass has been a permanent fixture in and around the top 10 midfielders since the season started. You’d think more assist points would be on the table providing balls to Andy Carroll than there would be hoping Adama Diomande gets his 50p head pointing in the right direction.

Patrick Van Aanholt has jumped out of the frying pan – although you have to say he does have better players around him at Palace. He played well under Allardyce at Sunderland, and in the same way he provided many an assist for Jermain Defoe (who’s going to do that now?), he may be the key to Christian Beneteke getting a few more goals.

 

Gameweek 17 results

December 20, 2016

same The Craggy Islanders
Adrian Roche
53 971
same Yeboah’s Right Foot
Paul Murray
64 965
up Aquamar 15
Noel Driver
56 930
down Kebab Eaters Utd
Paul Howard
42 923
up Uriah Rennie 2nd XI
Neil Greenwood
68 905
down Hedgehog Corpse FC
Nick Smith
36 905
down Biscuitmen
Chris Morton
39 897
up When Harry met Alli
Trevor Gordon
46 896
up Cooksters
Peter Cook
59 893
10  down 4 Fuchs Ake
Jason Earwicker
36 893
11  up greenyteamy
adam greenwood
67 891
12  up INIT FC
Mustafa khan
50 886
13  down QUEEN OF THE NORTH
DORINE REACHER
30 882
14  down Rip Roaring Reds
Sean Whyton
43 881
15  down 30:19
Darren Lavelle
41 880
16  up Go Buffoons Go
Jitesh Lakhani
55 876
17  up Atlético Chappers
Richard Chapman
58 866
18  same Edgbaston
Micheal Dinneen
45 861
19  down To Elland Back
Alan Hardy
36 858
20  up FC Caligula
Ajay Supeda
44 851
21  down Your Ad Here
Matthew Hopkins
41 850
22  up Neil Madrid
Neil Strong
43 846
23  down RICO UNITED
JASON REACHER
37 845
24  up Hucking Fell
P Hawkins
63 841
25  up Golden Boys
Stephanie Cripps
43 830
26  down Joey Bosa
Paul Bentz
31 829
27  down nO fucHs given
Paul Callaghan
46 827
28  same Jeff Lamp’s Porsche
David Spinks
38 824
29  down Jarvis FC
Matt Jarvis
33 821
30  same Crazy Legs XI
David Caldicott
50 820
31  same Ciderheads
Darren Pope
47 819
32  same romeoshondavan
Rob Hewer
52 807
33  up Release The Hounds
Paul Mitchell
49 800
34  down FTM
Stu Smith
37 795
35  same RG XV
Ryan Garoghan
40 792
36  down Upper Bullens
Andy Taylor
38 790
37  same Shoelace Untied
Caroline Strong
43 782
38  same I am not Zlatan
Colin Goulding
57 782
39  up Real Jorvik
Simon Brown
62 774
40  down Pepe Le Blue
DEAN CRIPPS
41 767
41  up Big White Chiefs
david frankland
57 760
42  down Pretty Schitty City
Alex Michaluk
41 759
43  down jetty city
scott mcgow
33 749
44  down Have a little dink
Ian Williams
33 749
45  same Bakerlona
Stuart Baker
50 740
46  up bazza 28 united
laura barrett
45 719
47  down Bermie Utd
Glen Davies
30 707
48  up DJ’s Trail Blazers
Danian Jones
63 707
49  down Racing Club Skegness
Andrew Swift
26 700
50  up Dj daz
darren frankland
73 690
51  down Bish Bosh Goal
Simon Purnell
38 675
52  down Jarv88
Paul Jarvis
39 671
53  down Pudding And Pie
John Seacroft
35 661

 

Congratulations to DJ Daz who finally poked their head over the precipice of our accidental relegation zone and made it on to page 1. They collected 73 points, the highest total of the weekend. It was an impressive score too, with most of the rest of the league finishing with scores in and around the 40’s and 50’s. Their defence picked up 30 points, as did their trio of Chelsea players. Good old Diego Costa came through as captain, despite finally picking up that fifth booking. He got his usual goal and a solitary bonus mark to boost his captain total to 12. And he gets Christmas off. He probably deserves it.

Second highest score came from Uriah’s. They were probably the team to suffer most at the hands of Sergio Aguero’s sending off a few weeks ago, dropping from 1st to 12th as a result. They’ve clawed their way back up to 5th off the back of a 68 point score this week. They’re still 60 odd points off the lead. There’s a spread developing at the top of the table and our top two, The Craggy Islanders and Yeboah’s Right Foot, are gradually opening up a lead on the rest of us.

 

Player of the weekend – Patrick Van Aanholt – 15 points. Good goal too.

Bargain of the weekend – Daniel Amartey – 10 points. Rescuing Leicester….

Donkey of the week – Jamie Vardy – -2 points – …from this loon.

Goal of the week – Jay Rodriguez. Another likely GOTS contender.

Gameweek 37 results

May 12, 2016

1 FC Caligula Ajay Supeda 84 2,217
2 Your Ad Here Matthew Hopkins 76 2,201
3 The Kolarov Mané Trevor Gordon 69 2,177
4 Shoelace Untied Caroline Strong 69 2,158
5 Rocky Ba Bauer P Hawkins 50 2,156
6 Edgbaston Micheal Dinneen 114 2,146
7 Game of Throw ins Darren Lavelle 93 2,120
8 Golden Boys Stephanie Cripps 61 2,117
9 Init fc Mustafa khan 110 2,092
10 Walking with Memphis Noel Driver 99 2,070
11 Atlético Chappers Richard Chapman 68 2,069
12 JonniestaRedmondinho David Spinks 97 2,051
13 Sergio Five O DEAN CRIPPS 41 2,046
14 Bicuitmen Chris Morton 65 2,039
15 4 Lime Jellies Ian Williams 59 2,035
16 Neil Madrid Neil Strong 95 2,027
17 Howayman Mark Bromham 66 2,014
18 SS3 FC Paul Murray 47 2,011
19 scotty2hotty scott mcgow 55 2,007
20 The Craggy Islanders Adrian Roche 80 2,005
21 Hedgehog Corpse FC Nick Smith 80 2,002
22 Gaalacticos Colin Goulding 80 1,987
23 Grievous AngelRangel Andrew Swift 62 1,979
24 Romeo’s Honda Van Rob Hewer 62 1,975
25 Pretty Schitty City Alex Michaluk 41 1,967
26 Uriah Rennie 2nd XI Neil Greenwood 86 1,963
27 Bermie Utd Glen Davies 52 1,951
28 Below Par Paul Bentz 53 1,913
29 greensmeansbusiness adam greenwood 52 1,912
30 Rip Roaring Reds Sean Whyton 88 1,910
31 Panza Grande XI Stuart Baker 50 1,907
32 RICO UNITED JASON REACHER 79 1,882
33 The Mindless Morons John Seacroft 69 1,876
34 The Hardy Boys Alan Hardy 56 1,860
35 Sweet Cherry Pie Jason Earwicker 72 1,849
36 Release The Hounds Paul Mitchell 63 1,834
37 Upper Bullens Andy Taylor 44 1,825
38 Crazy Legs XI David Caldicott 92 1,765
39 Go Buffoons Go!!! Jitesh Lakhani 71 1,762
40 Baker Bum Boys Lewis Baker 52 1,754
41 Ciderheads Darren Pope 58 1,727
42 Bish Bosh Goal Simon Purnell 47 1,547
43 REAL JORVIK Simon Brown 32 1,508
44 BrussiaHairbach Alex Ritchie 51 1,401

 

There were more goals scored in this gameweek than there were in the other monster double gameweek of a few weeks ago but Buckets totals weren’t as high. Probably due to the fact that the highest scoring players of the week came from Norwich and Sunderland, and not from West Ham and Manchester United, as I think most people expected. The popular choices for (triple) captain seemed to be Dimitri Payet and Anthony Martial. They didn’t disappoint necessarily, but a punt on Lamine Kone – and it would have been one hell of a punt – would have bagged you a potential 63 points.

Still, we had some 100+ scores. Kudos to Init FC and Edgbaston with 110 and a week winning 114 points respectively. Edgbaston triple captained Jermain Defoe, and picked up another 18 points from Patrick Van Aanholt, capitalising on Sunderland’s dominant week. Seven other double gameweekers and useful single game scores from Kevin De Bruyne and Sergio Aguero did the trick .

Init bench boosted to good effect, picking up an extra 23 points. Their choice of captain let them down. Andy Carroll only contributed six points. They also had Defoe and Van Aanholt. A captaincy punt on either of them would have made them clear weekly winners.

…And put them in pole position for the May manager of the month. Two weeks worth of scores decide it. Here’s the table as it stands – basically this week’s highest scorers…

1 Edgbaston Micheal Dinneen 114 114
2 Init fc Mustafa khan 110 110
3 Walking with Memphis Noel Driver 99 99
4 JonniestaRedmondinho David Spinks 97 97
5 Neil Madrid Neil Strong 95 95
6 Game of Throw ins Darren Lavelle 93 93
7 Crazy Legs XI David Caldicott 92 92

 

Should Init win it they’ll be the only team to pick up two monthly awards, having also taken the September prize.

 

1 FC Caligula Ajay Supeda 84 2,217
2 Your Ad Here Matthew Hopkins 76 2,201
3 The Kolarov Mané Trevor Gordon 69 2,177
4 Shoelace Untied Caroline Strong 69 2,158
5 Rocky Ba Bauer P Hawkins 50 2,156
6 Edgbaston Micheal Dinneen 114 2,146
7 Game of Throw ins Darren Lavelle 93 2,120
8 Golden Boys Stephanie Cripps 61 2,117

As we go into the final week it’s still too close to call. Caligula have extended their lead over Your Ad Here to 16 points. The two teams have been trading blows at the top for the last few months. No sooner do YAH get back to within spitting distance, than Caligula pull away the following week. The Kolarov Mane are 24 points further back, and who knows, maybe still in contention themselves for the top spot. That is probably just out of reach for Shoelace, who will also have to be careful of Rocky Ba Bauer, Edgbaston, Game of Throw Ins and long time leaders, Golden Boys, who all realistically have a chance of at least fourth place.

 

Player of the week – Lamine Kone – 21 points. Keeping them in the Premier League.

Bargain of the week – Andy King – 13 points. Another Leicester weekly award – they’ve had the most.

Donkey of the week – John Terry – -2 points. The last we’ll see of him. Possibly

Goal of the week – Eden Hazard. What a prick. Obviously realised he needs to play to get a move.

Gameweek 14 results

November 30, 2015

1 Golden Boys Stephanie Cripps 70 786
2 FC Caligula Ajay Supeda 58 752
3 Your Ad Here Matthew Hopkins 58 734
4 4 Lime Jellies Ian Williams 68 733
5 Pretty Schitty City Alex Michaluk 42 731
6 The Kolarov Mané Trevor Gordon 60 730
7 Bicuitmen Chris Morton 52 721
8 Game of Throw ins Darren Lavelle 57 721
9 scotty2hotty scott mcgow 55 719
10 Edgbaston Micheal Dinneen 65 718
11 greensmeansbusiness adam greenwood 49 715
12 Hedgehog Corpse FC Nick Smith 63 712
13 Below Par Paul Bentz 58 711
14 Init fc Mustafa khan 77 711
15 Rocky Ba Bauer P Hawkins 51 710
16 Shoelace Untied Caroline Strong 65 707
17 SS3 FC Paul Murray 90 702
18 Howayman Mark Bromham 74 695
19 Gaalacticos Colin Goulding 74 695
20 Romeo’s Honda Van Rob Hewer 62 693
21 Sergio Five O DEAN CRIPPS 70 691
22 Atlético Chappers Richard Chapman 48 687
23 Grievous AngelRangel Andrew Swift 74 684
24 The Craggy Islanders Adrian Roche 52 684
25 JonniestaRedmondinho David Spinks 51 671
26 Rip Roaring Reds Sean Whyton 48 671
27 Bermie Utd Glen Davies 64 670
28 Walking with Memphis Noel Driver 31 669
29 Go Buffoons Go!!! Jitesh Lakhani 66 650
30 Neil Madrid Neil Strong 61 641
31 Uriah Rennie 2nd XI Neil Greenwood 72 640
32 Release The Hounds Paul Mitchell 70 634
33 The Mindless Morons John Seacroft 74 631
34 Panza Grande XI Stuart Baker 42 628
35 Crazy Legs XI David Caldicott 52 624
36 RICO UNITED JASON REACHER 61 624
37 Upper Bullens Andy Taylor 62 618
38 The Hardy Boys Alan Hardy 50 610
39 Ciderheads Darren Pope 52 603
40 Baker Bum Boys Lewis Baker 52 594
41 Sweet Cherry Pie Jason Earwicker 47 591
42 Bish Bosh Goal Simon Purnell 41 569
43 REAL JORVIK Simon Brown 30 528
44 BrussiaHairbach Alex Ritchie 47 485

 

SS3 FC score 90 points and are the team of the week. They’re the first to win two weekly awards this season, and in doing so have climbed to their highest league position of 17th. Employing Kevin de Bruyne as captain was a smart move. The Belgian playmaker was the player of the week, and so added 32 points towards SS3’s total. They also earned 13 points from last weeks player of the week, Ross Barkley, and 12 from Odion Ighalo, this weeks highest scoring striker. Add to that the inevitable contribution from Jamie Vardy – 9 points this week – and that’s 66 points from just four players.

It was a close run thing for manager of the month. Shoelace had been leading the monthly table for the last couple of weeks and were doing so on Saturday night. But they only managed to add a further three points on Sunday and that wasn’t enough to hold off the challenge of The Mindless Morons, who added 17 further points to their Saturday total. Mesut Ozil scored 10 of those 17, meaning he has now scored in 10 of the 14 gameweeks – a record that’s only bettered by Vardy. The other seven points, crucially, came from a substitution. Adam Smith was promoted to the team to replace Vincent Kompany. The Bournemouth defender has scored no more than a point per performance and has mainly been warming the Morons’ bench since week one…until he launched a sweetly struck 25 yard volley into the roof of Tim Howard’s net this weekend. The Mindless Morons win November. They were second bottom at the end of October. Their recent form has seen them climb ten places and 100 points ahead of the current second bottom side.

1 The Mindless Morons John Seacroft 74 198
2 Shoelace Untied Caroline Strong 65 192
3 Howayman Mark Bromham 74 187
4 Grievous AngelRangel Andrew Swift 74 183
5 SS3 FC Paul Murray 90 183
6 Golden Boys Stephanie Cripps 70 182
7 scotty2hotty scott mcgow 55 181

 

At the top of the table Golden Boys extend their lead to 34 points. That’s the biggest gap between first and second so far this season. This week they scored 70 points using only 10 players. It was 12 more than their two closest challengers, Caligula and Your Ad Here. Pretty Schitty City dropped a couple of places down to fifth to complete a disappointing month. PSC were a point behind Golden Boys at the end of October – they’re now 55 behind. 4 Lime Jellies ended their recent disappointing run by climbing back up to fourth with a respectable 68 point haul.

 

Player of the week – Kevin de Bruyne – 16 points. Good City showed up this week.

Bargain of the week – Patrick Van Aanholt – 15 points. Two consecutive clean sheets for Sunderland. Time to consider the Allardyce factor?

Donkey of the week – Ryan Shawcross – -3 points. Ruined Stoke’s run of clean sheets, although it was a harsh red card.

Goal of the week – Jamie Vardy.

%d bloggers like this: