Gameweek 38 preview

24 May 15:00 Arsenal v West Brom
24 May 15:00 Aston Villa v Burnley
24 May 15:00 Chelsea v Sunderland
24 May 15:00 Crystal Palace v Swansea
24 May 15:00 Everton v Spurs
24 May 15:00 Hull v Man Utd
24 May 15:00 Leicester v QPR
24 May 15:00 Man City v Southampton
24 May 15:00 Newcastle v West Ham
24 May 15:00 Stoke v Liverpool


Who has something to play for?

The top four look settled. It’s just a case of who finishes in what position. It will take an almighty crash, or a stroke of risk-taking-captain-appointing genius for Neil Madrid not to be crowned champions. Three points separate second and third. Pescara and Hedgehog Corpse look like the only two teams that could switch positions in the top four. There’s enough variation in their current line ups to suggest that it will go down to the last final whistle. Naboombu’s are 27 points behind third and 26 points ahead of fifth. Shoelace and RayCrawfordsCrackers, a further 14 points back in 6th, will need an inspired leftfield transfer or two to come good to give themselves a chance of catching fourth place.

Bermie United and PSG are the favourites for the May manager of the month…

1 Bermie Utd Glen Davies 57 216
2 Paris Spinks Germain David Spinks 55 211
3 NaboombuDirtyYellows Andrew Swift 62 205
4 Hedgehog Corpse FC Nick Smith 64 191
5 Release The Hounds Paul Mitchell 52 186
6 Neil Madrid Neil Strong 67 182
7 Uriah Rennie 2nd XI Neil Greenwood 65 180
7 Shoelace Untied Caroline Strong 52 180
9 Van Damme United P Hawkins 50 180


Other teams have closed the gap slightly following last weeks results. Hedgehogs and Naboombu’s may fancy their chances in an all or nothing last ditch transfer blow out in the hope that it might sneak them the last monthly prize and move them up in the final overall rankings.

Every other team should probably just do an all or nothing transfer blow out to try and score as many points as possible. Last days of the season can produce crazy results. Remember the 5-5 draw in Fergie’s last game a few years back? Concentrate more on attack than defence, and avoid Hull and Newcastle. They’re the only two teams who’ll be playing with any nerves, and their games are likely to be the cagiest. The battle to avoid paying in next seasons Europa League is all but over. No matter how hard they try to lose, both Spurs and Southampton will be in the draw if Arsenal win the FA Cup next weekend.

Newsflash…Eden Hazard has poorly teeth. This could open the door for some last minute changes in the final standings. Most teams have him. Reports suggest he won’t play this weekend. Remember it’s Sunday afternoon, so you’ve an extra day to mull it all over.




Gameweek 36 results

1 Neil Madrid Neil Strong 79 2,059
2 Pescara Rangers Stewart Pope 76 2,022
3 Hedgehog Corpse FC Nick Smith 70 2,021
4 NaboombuDirtyYellows Andrew Swift 74 1,993
5 Shoelace Untied Caroline Strong 65 1,977
6 RayCrawfordsCrackers Rob Hewer 76 1,965
7 * Your Ad Here * Matthew Hopkins 68 1,953
8 Gaalatcticos Colin Goulding 91 1,946
9 Uriah Rennie 2nd XI Neil Greenwood 82 1,939
10 Bermie Utd Glen Davies 88 1,929
11 Van Damme United P Hawkins 75 1,929
12 Upper Bullens Andy Taylor 44 1,914
13 Paris Spinks Germain David Spinks 92 1,900
14 Ciderheads Darren Pope 74 1,887
15 Accrington Rudyard Ian Williams 74 1,871
16 Who R U DEAN CRIPPS 66 1,851
17 Pretty Schitty City Alex Michaluk 37 1,822
18 Rip Roaring Reds Sean Whyton 63 1,809
19 Biscuitmen Chris Morton 24 1,797
20 The Mindless Morons John Seacroft 53 1,792
21 Panza Grande XI Stuart Baker 47 1,751
22 Real Jorvik FC Simon Brown 82 1,750
23 Get to the choppa Mark Bromham 51 1,747
24 Release The Hounds Paul Mitchell 86 1,695
25 Luxembourg United Simon Smallbone 37 1,678
26 No Recognized Plan Paul Bentz 35 1,663
27 Sportingabiggerwig Alex Ritchie 28 1,636
28 Crazylegs XI David Caldicott 29 1,571
29 Jordie’s Giants Jordan Raper 19 1,270


This week was all about one player. Sergio Aguero’s hat trick, two assists and inevitable top bonus points bagged him 23 points, condemned QPR to relegation, cemented his position as the league’s top marksman and the FPL’s top points scoring striker, and moved him into second place behind Eden Hazard in the overall scoring charts.

No-one came close to him this week and that’s reflected in the Buckets totals. You can tell just by looking at the scores the teams that had him – and the teams that didn’t. And it appears all those lucky enough to have him in their squads had the brains to make him captain too. In fact there were only eight other players that achieved double figure totals this week. Of Aguero’s City team mates, Aleksandar Kolarov and David Silva, posted 13 and 16 points respectively. Riyad Mahrez added 16 to his total, as the Leicester juggernaut continued to roll on – surely to safety now. Lukasz Fabianski, Steven N’Zonzi, Steven Gerrard and Ashley Young were the others to score more than 10 points. Hardly the most popular bunch among managers, further highlighting the marked difference between teams with or without Sergio. Basically, there weren’t many points to be had elsewhere.

Paris Spinks Germain hit the highest score this week. Their 92 points also moves them to the top of the May monthly table. They chose Aguero as captain, backed up by David Silva, and Robert Huth and Jeff Schlupp from that all of a sudden impenetrable Leicester defence. Those four players managed a whopping 76 points between them.

Of the top 11, only Shoelace lined up without Aguero, but did have David Silva as their captain. This has kept them in contention of a top four finish. Van Damme had both Aguero and Silva, but went with Hazard as captain. This was the first week for a long time that it looked like the best captain options lay well away from the Chelsea team. Hazard doesn’t register too many two point weeks, but this was his second in the last three.

And in 12th lie Upper Bullens, who, without Aguero, only managed 44 points. They’ve dropped four places in the league, and any slim hopes of catching the top four have undoubtedly ended. That’s the difference one player can make.


Player of the week – Sergio Aguero – 23 points. Not quite the highest weekly total of the season.

Bargain of the week – Riyad Mahrez – 16 points. Leicester players in every position scoring big in these final few weeks.

Donkey of the week – Vlad Chiriches – -3 points. Spurs season fizzling out.

Goal of the week. Ayoze Perez. I dunno what’s up with the pictures?

Gameweek 19 results

1 NaboombuDirtyYellows Andrew Swift 35 1,038
2 Gaalatcticos Colin Goulding 41 1,022
3 Uriah Rennie 2nd XI Neil Greenwood 50 1,014
4 Ciderheads Darren Pope 47 1,011
5 Paris Spinks Germain David Spinks 59 1,001
6 Pescara Rangers Stewart Pope 58 1,001
7 Neil Madrid Neil Strong 40 1,000
8 Upper Bullens Andy Taylor 47 995
9 Hedgehog Corpse FC Nick Smith 37 980
10 Shoelace Untied Caroline Strong 55 963
11 RayCrawfordsCrackers Rob Hewer 36 962
12 * Your Ad Here * Matthew Hopkins 24 944
13 Van Damme United P Hawkins 44 938
14 Biscuitmen Chris Morton 51 932
15 Panza Grande XI Stuart Baker 50 929
16 Bermie Utd Glen Davies 35 922
17 Sportingabiggerwig Alex Ritchie 31 909
18 Pretty Schitty City Alex Michaluk 41 906
19 Who R U DEAN CRIPPS 35 894
20 Rip Roaring Reds Sean Whyton 49 892
21 Get to the choppa Mark Bromham 37 885
22 Accrington Rudyard Ian Williams 40 881
23 Real Jorvik FC Simon Brown 45 865
24 The Mindless Morons John Seacroft 16 861
25 No Recognized Plan Paul Bentz 36 848
26 Crazylegs XI David Caldicott 38 839
27 Release The Hounds Paul Mitchell 31 835
28 Luxembourg United Simon Smallbone 27 824
29 Jordie’s Giants Jordan Raper 30 686


Congratulations to PSG, who after a worrying mini-slump, have managed to climb the table back into the top five, and win the manager of the week award. Their 59 points was some achievement in a week in which the average was only 37. Gameweek 18 seemed to pass without too many unexpected team rotations and all of our most popular players bang in form. I can only guess that this Boxing Day binge left them a bit bloated – none of them turned up for gameweek 19.

PSG were one of the few teams that didn’t have to rely on their bench. David Silva was a canny choice as captain. He and Eden Hazard posted double figure scores, but their most surprising contribution, and the total that arguably handed them the weekly prize was that of Robert Green, who kept a rare clean sheet and in doing so was awarded with top bonus marks.

Substitute benches were called into action with unexpected no shows for the likes of Yaya Toure, Nathaniel Clyne, Oscar and Gael Clichy. Of the most owned strikers in the game, only Danny Welbeck scored a goal. Costa, Austin, Pelle, Rooney, Kane, Bony, Van Persie and Falcao all ended the week with just two point (or less) totals. And Alexis Sanchez completed a rare contribution-less week with a booking, guaranteeing a measly two points to the many that had plumped for him as their captain.

Gaalacticos inevitable romp to the December manager of the month prize was wrapped up this week. They didn’t have the best of weeks, although still posted a higher than average score of 40. Their nearest challengers, Van Damme United, ended up needing an 80+ score to catch them – and that was never going to happen in this low scoring, low key gameweek.

1 Gaalatcticos Colin Goulding 41 403
2 Van Damme United P Hawkins 44 365
2 Pescara Rangers Stewart Pope 58 365
4 Accrington Rudyard Ian Williams 40 353
5 NaboombuDirtyYellows Andrew Swift 35 351
6 Ciderheads Darren Pope 47 350


So that’s the last gameweek of the year, and the half way point of the season. Gameweek 20 comes on New Years Day and teams will play their first return fixture – the same fixture as in gameweek 14. There’s then a break for the FA Cup third round, with gameweek 21 taking place on the weekend of the 10th and 11th January. Gameweek 21 is the first weekend in which you can use your January wildcard. It’s there for you to pick up January transfer widow purchases – although this year it may be put to better use sweeping up the mess left by the exodus to the African and Asian Cups of Nations. Off go the Toures, the Cisses, the Sakhos, the Dioufs (except the ones with French passports). Mile Jedinak’s already gone and Bolasie will follow him out of Palace, leaving them further up shit creek. Sadio Mane, Wilfried Bony, Riyad Mahrez, Cheik Tiote, Jeffrey Schlupp and Ki Sung-Yeung are other notable ship-jumpers.

Happy New Year.


Player of the week – Adam Lallana – 15 points. A good week for Liverpool?!?!?!

Bargain of the week – Mame Biram Diouf – 13 points. A second consecutive win for Stoke?!!?!!?!!

Donkey of the week – Fabian Delph – -2points. Another Villa sending off.

Goal of the week – Fernandinho. It was so nearly Ashley Barnes for second time in three weeks.

Gameweek 15 results

1 Paris Spinks Germain David Spinks 41 802
2 Uriah Rennie 2nd XI Neil Greenwood 18 795
3 NaboombuDirtyYellows Andrew Swift 36 792
4 Neil Madrid Neil Strong 31 776
5 * Your Ad Here * Matthew Hopkins 23 771
6 Ciderheads Darren Pope 30 765
7 Hedgehog Corpse FC Nick Smith 36 753
8 RayCrawfordsCrackers Rob Hewer 39 751
9 Upper Bullens Andy Taylor 32 749
10 Shoelace Untied Caroline Strong 49 746
11 Pescara Rangers Stewart Pope 16 739
12 Gaalatcticos Colin Goulding 45 736
13 Sportingabiggerwig Alex Ritchie 35 723
14 Pretty Schitty City Alex Michaluk 29 721
15 Bermie Utd Glen Davies 24 702
16 Panza Grande XI Stuart Baker 25 702
17 Luxembourg United Simon Smallbone 22 684
18 Who R U DEAN CRIPPS 31 678
19 Biscuitmen Chris Morton 27 675
20 Van Damme United P Hawkins 36 675
21 The Mindless Morons John Seacroft 25 673
22 Rip Roaring Reds Sean Whyton 23 666
23 Real Jorvik FC Simon Brown 21 658
24 No Recognized Plan Paul Bentz 36 655
25 Get to the choppa Mark Bromham 31 655
26 Crazylegs XI David Caldicott 33 648
27 Accrington Rudyard Ian Williams 34 638
28 Release The Hounds Paul Mitchell 30 622
29 Jordie’s Giants Jordan Raper 34 510


One of the lowest scoring weeks in FPL history (probably), yet one of the most incident packed. And congratulations if you managed to end the weekend without any of your payers injured or suspended.

And the reasons for the low scores. Lots.

Saturday saw three goalless draws, and one other team keep a clean sheet. Clean sheets from some players are like an unexpected bonus most of the time. Most of time you try your best to avoid even having to pick those type of players. This week was one of those weeks. Anyone who had more than one player from a combination of Hull, West Brom, Liverpool, Sunderland, Spurs, Palace or QPR  – well done – it won’t happen again.

I don’t suppose anyone expected Chelsea to lose. We’ve all been drawn in by the possibility of them going through the season without losing a game, and to think that it’d happen against a Newcastle side that were without key players –  well that didn’t seem plausible. Yet it did. Bonus points if you picked any of the Newcastle ball boys. Thank god for Cesc Fabregas, who of the Cheslea regulars came away with an assist and some bonus points. Shame about the booking that rules him out of the next game.

Which leads us on to the sendings off.

Five in total. I may have come off worse out of all of you. It’s not often I straight up reference my own team. I try to  keep the reviews and previews as neutral as possible, but for this week only, I need to spleen vent. I’ve done well to get out with 31 points. Pescara and Uriah’s didn’t even get past the 20 point mark. Both had Calum Chambers who was sent off for Arsenal and ended the week on -2 points. Uriah’s also had to contend with the dismissal of Lukasz Fabianski – who also finished on -2 – and is our weekly donkey. There were three other red cards this week. Paul Konchesky got his marching orders in Leicester’s game against Villa, but no-one seems to have him in their team, so lets not dwell on that. The other two sendings off, as well as Chambers, were in my team. Steven Taylor was sat on the bench, but that doens’t make it any easier for working out what to do next week. Charlie Austin at least managed to get a goal and assist before getting his second yellow. Again, not a complete disaster you might think, but I’m faced with five players out next week. Chambers, Austin, Taylor, Fabregas – and Sergio bloody Aguero.

As is everybody else. Probably. As little as we expected Chelsea to lose at Newcastle, no-one saw the FPL’s player of the moment crumpling into a heap after 7 minutes against Everton on Saturday evening. Those without, or even those that went for an alternative captain choice will be feeling smug. Early reports suggest a month out, which will upset City’s recent upturn in form, and makes the race for the December manager of the month very interesting. Most managers will have to make a change in their forward line for next week. One good thing is that you’re trading in the most expensive player in the game – so the league is your oyster.

Maybe you could trade in for one of the two highest scorers of the week. Back from the dead to win player of the week is Andy Carroll. West Ham are up to fourth. This is the team you go to when you start dropping your Southamton players. Can Carroll stay fit though? He’s been back for five games, played three full 90 minutes, and scored 25 points. You’d have plenty of change if you bought him in place of Aguero. Not so much if you opted for Robin Van Persie. Back from the dead to score his second double figure score in the last three weeks, RVP will still set you back over £12 million. It probably doesn’t seem like it, but he has started every game but the very first one, and has managed six league goals so far. I suppose he just seems a lot more interested in the last few weeks.

Uriah’s dismal score of 18 has allowed PSG to take over at the top. PSG reached 41 points, losing Chambers, Fabregas and Aguero. They were one of only three teams to surpass 40 points. Gaalacticos lost Chambers, Austin, Fabregas and Aguero, but ended on 45 points and finished second. Leading this week’s totals are Shoelace with 49 points. Lucky-ish Shoelace only lost Fabregas and Aguero with Taylor on the bench.


Player of the week – Andy Carroll – 16 points. West Ham spoilt for attacking options.

Bargain of the week – Alan McGregor – 15 points. Includes a penalty save and all the bonus marks

Donkey of the week – Lukasz Fabianski – -2 points. Unfortunate – might yet be rescinded.

Goal of the week – Diafra Sakho. West Ham really spoilt for attacking options. 2m40s in.


Gameweek 10 results

1 Uriah Rennie 2nd XI Neil Greenwood 52 571
2 Paris Spinks Germain David Spinks 89 546
3 NaboombuDirtyYellows Andrew Swift 61 539
4 Upper Bullens Andy Taylor 57 531
5 * Your Ad Here * Matthew Hopkins 56 526
6 Sportingabiggerwig Alex Ritchie 45 512
7 Hedgehog Corpse FC Nick Smith 69 511
8 Shoelace Untied Caroline Strong 79 506
9 Pretty Schitty City Alex Michaluk 59 503
10 Neil Madrid Neil Strong 80 503
11 Ciderheads Darren Pope 56 502
12 Bermie Utd Glen Davies 50 499
13 RayCrawfordsCrackers Rob Hewer 51 498
14 Panza Grande XI Stuart Baker 47 495
15 Rip Roaring Reds Sean Whyton 51 493
16 Gaalatcticos Colin Goulding 53 491
17 Pescara Rangers Stewart Pope 67 489
18 Crazylegs XI David Caldicott 47 454
19 Luxembourg United Simon Smallbone 67 449
20 Biscuitmen Chris Morton 37 445
21 The Mindless Morons John Seacroft 55 431
22 Who R U DEAN CRIPPS 46 430
23 Get to the choppa Mark Bromham 43 429
24 No Recognized Plan Paul Bentz 33 425
25 Release The Hounds Paul Mitchell 45 425
26 Real Jorvik FC Simon Brown 53 424
27 Van Damme United P Hawkins 43 415
28 Accrington Rudyard Ian Williams 48 412
29 Jordie’s Giants Jordan Raper 31 334


It wasn’t too hard getting Diego Costa to fit into your team. Sergio Aguero proved slightly harder, but after a bit of shifting around and an over reliance on Burnley defenders you finally managed it. Now you’ve got to figure out how on earth to squeeze Alexis Sanchez in there. Sanchez achieved his third consecutive double figure score and moved on to 70 points, becoming the highest scoring player across the whole game, overtaking Graziano Pelle, who held the top spot for one week only. Sanchez is the form player, but wasn’t the highest scoring player of the week. It was he and Callum Chambers that combined to down Burnley on Saturday. And it’s Chambers who ends with week with the highest total thanks to his clean sheet points and pipping his Chilean team mate to the top bonus marks.

Sanchez and Chambers combined to propel this weeks highest scoring team from sixth to second place in the league. Paris Spinks Germain finished the gameweek with 89 points, and have closed the gap on Uriah to 25 points. PSG were at a low of 13th just two gameweeks ago. Languishing even more, and also scoring big this week courtesy of the Arsenal duo are Shoelace. They were as low as 25th in week six. Their sensational run of four consecutive 60+ scores, culminating in this week’s 79 point total, puts them in eighth place, jumping seven places from 15th. Jumping six places are our second highest scoring team of the week, Neil Madrid. Their 80 points was accumulated thanks to Chambers (no Sanchez), and was ably assisted by Clyne and Bertrand’s obligatory clean sheet, Fabregas’ obligatory assist, Aguero’s obligatory goal and Eden Hazard. Nothing too obligatory about Hazard still – yet he sits fourth in the midfielder rankings and is quietly going about his business.


Player of the week – Callum Chambers – 18 points. Set for a continued run in the Arsenal back four with Debuchy still weeks from an expected return

Bargain of the week – Steven Fletcher – 13 points. His second weekly award.

Donkey of the week – Chris Smalling – -2 points. Is there no end to United’s defensive problems?

Goal of the week – Oscar. Bender.