1  same Hornets
Andrew Wade
46 837
2  same Fun Lovren Criminals
Paul Callaghan
43 808
3  up Gotta Light?
Andrew Swift
60 805
4  up greenyteamy
adam greenwood
63 800
5  down Despicable Mee
Trevor Gordon
55 799
6  same Kompany & Co
63 789
7  same Brexiter City
Colin Goulding
65 779
8  up Edgbaston
Micheal Dinneen
57 772
9  down The Vinegar Pissers
P Hawkins
44 761
10  up Crazylegs XI
David Caldicott
61 760
11  up The Craggy Islanders
Adrian Roche
52 758
12  up Atlético Chappers
Richard Chapman
67 756
13  up Nashton Villa
Jaime Nash
55 753
14  down INIT FC
Mustafa khan
39 752
15  down Rip Roaring Reds
Sean Whyton
47 748
16  down The winnings R mine
david bruce
53 742
17  down Neil Madrid
Neil Strong
45 740
18  down It’sOnlyAGameFarke!
David Spinks
38 727
19  up musttryharder FC
Paul Telford
65 725
20  down King Dunlap
Paul Bentz
50 724
21  up FC Caligula
Ajay Supeda
52 714
22  down Queen of the north
39 712
23  down Golden Boys
Stephanie Cripps
40 711
24  up Game of Throw-Ins
Ryan Garoghan
55 711
25  down Jarv88
Paul Jarvis
46 710
26  up Klopp of the Pochs
Jason Earwicker
55 709
27  down Rico united
44 709
28  down Flying squad
Matt Jarvis
58 707
29  up romeoshondavan
Rob Hewer
54 703
30  down Aquamar 1564
Noel Driver
43 700
31  same Your Ad Here
Matthew Hopkins
48 697
32  down Pretty Schitty City
Alex Michaluk
42 696
33  up Real Jorvik
Simon Brown
60 695
34  up Upper Bullens
Andy Taylor
58 695
35  up Bakerlona FC
Stuart Baker
64 692
36  down Pure Buffoonery!
Jitesh Lakhani
48 692
37  down We are Ayling
Paul Murray
42 684
38  down cookster fc
Peter Cook
35 680
39  up Kebab Eaters Utd
Paul Howard
61 677
40  down mrs mcgoo
laura barrett
42 676
41  down To Elland Back
Alan Hardy
38 672
42  down FTM
Stu Smith
30 658
43  up Shoelace Untied
Caroline Strong
43 657
44  up Emergency Gap Jumper
Ian Williams
59 657
45  down Release The Hounds
Paul Mitchell
27 653
46  up Pudding And Pie
John Seacroft
36 628
47  down iamgroot
scott mcgow
37 626
48  same blakes11
Steven Darling
43 616
49  same disco dancer
darren frankland
56 597
50  same Biscuitmen
Chris Morton
44 522


November manager of the month – Greenyteamy – Adam Greenwood – 283 points

Greenyteamy’s monster scores in the first two weeks of the month put them so far out in front it was difficult to see how anyone could catch them. Despite a slight slip up last week, another impressive score this week – only four behind the week’s best – made sure of their monthly victory. Their four week run has seem them leap from twenty-fourth to fourth and into that pack chasing down the Hornets, who still hold a 31 point lead at the top.

Manager of the week – Atletico Chappers – Richard Chapman – 67 points

Up into 12th and finishing 3rd in the November table Chappers have also made great strides in the last few weeks climbing from 37th at the end of October. They’ve tried out, and I suppose, been kind of successful, with a rotation of Watford captains for the last four weeks. Either Richarlison or Abdoulaye Doucoure are handed the armband and between them have picked up 4, 12, 6 and 6 points. There have been better options as captain, particularly with Mohamed Salah, Jamie Vardy and Marcos Alonso as ever presents. But had Chappers picked the best scoring of their Watford players each week, they’d have notched scores of 14, 12, 16 and 14 and that would have outscored Harry Kane and Romelu Lukaku combined. So there is some method to this madness.

Player of the week – Mesut Ozil – 17 points

January is approaching so it’s time for Ozil (and Sanchez) to start giving a shit. Since gameweek nine he has scored two and assisted five Arsenal goals. Yet, in that time he has been transferred OUT of more teams and has seen his value drop to £9.3 million. It’s still not all that cheap for a player so unpredictable and there is so much competition in the midfield, but with only a 1.8% (1.8%??!?!?!?!) ownership, having this guy in your team could work in your favour. Nobody else will be scoring those points

Bargain of the week – Ashley Young – 15 points

Watch this value rocket in the coming weeks. Young started the season as a £5 million midfielder and only made his first appearance in gameweek 5 coming in to plug the hole in United’s left back area. He’s been an ever present since that game and has been a stand-out performer in recent weeks. The last three have garnered two goals, two assists, six bonus points and 29 points overall. It’s tricky to second guess managers and who knows what’s going to happen as the December fixture pile-up kicks in, but he seems to have that position nailed at the moment. The potential is there for more, particularly when Jose opts to play with three at the back and pushes the wing backs further forward. It’s a shame we don’t get clean sheet points for his displays as well. He’d be an absolute must-have as a defender.

Twat of the week – Pablo Zabaleta – -1 points

Just when you thought Everton were the most massively under-achieving and overpaid wastes of money in the league – you’re reminded of West Ham. Zabaleta probably should have seen red after getting away with a worse challenge than the one that saw him pick up his yellow card. There is little sense in having a West Ham defender in your team.

Goal of the week – Jamie Vardy.

Probably ten contenders. But as I rather stubbornly and unforgiving think any footballer worth their salt should be able to kick the ball into an empty net from 60 yards (Rooney) or run with a ball unchallenged for 60 yards (Lingard), I’ll give it to the most skillful goal of the (Tuesday) night. Goal at 2 minutes in.


Gameweek 25 results

February 9, 2016

1 Your Ad Here Matthew Hopkins 86 1,408
2 FC Caligula Ajay Supeda 70 1,396
3 Golden Boys Stephanie Cripps 60 1,378
4 Atlético Chappers Richard Chapman 67 1,369
5 Pretty Schitty City Alex Michaluk 79 1,367
6 Bicuitmen Chris Morton 65 1,364
7 Rocky Ba Bauer P Hawkins 63 1,359
8 Game of Throw ins Darren Lavelle 66 1,358
9 SS3 FC Paul Murray 51 1,336
10 The Kolarov Mané Trevor Gordon 49 1,334
11 Sergio Five O DEAN CRIPPS 72 1,333
12 4 Lime Jellies Ian Williams 55 1,331
13 Shoelace Untied Caroline Strong 61 1,320
14 Grievous AngelRangel Andrew Swift 55 1,316
15 Uriah Rennie 2nd XI Neil Greenwood 56 1,313
16 Gaalacticos Colin Goulding 53 1,311
17 Edgbaston Micheal Dinneen 44 1,309
18 Hedgehog Corpse FC Nick Smith 62 1,307
19 Howayman Mark Bromham 58 1,306
20 greensmeansbusiness adam greenwood 50 1,301
21 Romeo’s Honda Van Rob Hewer 62 1,300
22 Walking with Memphis Noel Driver 50 1,298
23 JonniestaRedmondinho David Spinks 60 1,295
24 scotty2hotty scott mcgow 61 1,295
25 Below Par Paul Bentz 61 1,283
26 Init fc Mustafa khan 49 1,283
27 Panza Grande XI Stuart Baker 55 1,269
28 The Hardy Boys Alan Hardy 57 1,266
29 The Craggy Islanders Adrian Roche 64 1,257
30 Bermie Utd Glen Davies 47 1,256
31 Neil Madrid Neil Strong 50 1,253
32 Upper Bullens Andy Taylor 60 1,232
33 The Mindless Morons John Seacroft 56 1,217
34 Rip Roaring Reds Sean Whyton 42 1,214
35 Release The Hounds Paul Mitchell 56 1,200
37 Ciderheads Darren Pope 60 1,148
38 Baker Bum Boys Lewis Baker 87 1,140
39 Go Buffoons Go!!! Jitesh Lakhani 45 1,140
40 Crazy Legs XI David Caldicott 41 1,129
41 Sweet Cherry Pie Jason Earwicker 49 1,107
42 Bish Bosh Goal Simon Purnell 78 1,088
43 REAL JORVIK Simon Brown 42 995
44 BrussiaHairbach Alex Ritchie 43 965


The Baker Bum Boys win week 25 with 87 points. They played their wildcard to great effect, realising the current strength of the Saints defence and bringing in Jose Font to pay alongside Eric Dier and Toby Alderweireld. Petr Cech was also transferred in. In the week he collected top bonus marks for his clean sheet. He’s now out clear at the top of the keeper charts. Mesut Ozil made a welcome return to form, and Diego Costa’s slight return to being a worthwhile fantasy player paid dividends, wearing the armband and picking up 18 points.

They beat Your Ad Here, who are our new leaders, by a point. YAH take their turn at the top of the tree ahead of FC Caligula. They drafted in Roberto Firmino who posted his third double figure score in five weeks. This moves him to the top of the overall form charts. A good week for Leicester, which admittedly is nearly every week, signals a good week for Pretty Schitty City. They bounced back into consideration, climbing up to fifth, and to within 10 points of the once seemingly uncatchable Golden Boys. Riyad Mahrez supplied 28 points as captain. His five week lean spell is well and truly forgotten. It’s three scoring weeks in succession, and his 10th double figure score.


Player of the week – Robert Huth – 16 points. 57 points in 7 weeks.

Bargain of the week – Maya Yoshida – 15 points. Bagged two bargain awards last season. Plays too occasionally to be a serious consideration.

Donkey of the week – Pablo Zabaleta – 0 points. Mahrez’d.

Goal of the week – Riyad Mahrez. Who else? Goal at 1m48s.

Gameweek 17 preview

December 20, 2013

21 Dec 12:45 Liverpool v Cardiff City
21 Dec 15:00 Crystal Palace v Newcastle
21 Dec 15:00 Fulham v Man City
21 Dec 15:00 Man Utd v West Ham
21 Dec 15:00 Stoke City v Aston Villa
21 Dec 15:00 Sunderland v Norwich
21 Dec 15:00 West Brom v Hull City
22 Dec 13:30 Southampton v Tottenham
22 Dec 16:00 Swansea v Everton
23 Dec 20:00 Arsenal v Chelsea

We’re entering silly season. From the 21st through to New Years Day we’ve forty games. That’s four gameweeks – a whole months worth – crammed into a week and a bit. We could be looking at a very different looking Buckets league come 2014. Managers need to be on the ball, keeping an eye on those seasonal injuries, squad rotations and those players searching for that instant three match ban to get the holidays off.

I’ve no idea how regularly I’m going to be able to update, but rest assured I’ll keep across all the pertinent information. All weekly winners, and eventual monthly winner will be noted. I’m sure I’ll get to update this weekend OK, but after that, a combination of food, drink, relatives, darts and Christmas telly may prevent the usual preview and update routine.

The most interesting aspect to this weeks play will be who we all choose to replace Sergio Aguero. The Argentinian striker’s injury appears to be worse than first thought, with an expected return date of mid January. Anyone considering keeping hold of the crocked Aguero must surely have changed their mind. A two or three week lay off may have been manageable, but six weeks with only two strikers just isn’t a viable option. There have been plenty of managers across the game to move quickly and shift him out of their teams. His price has started to drop already. It’s down from 12.5 to 12.3 as I write, and will probably drop further the closer we get to Saturday kick off. Removing him quickly is to your advantage as it will give you more moolah to re-invest. City’s injury woes don’t end there. Pablo Zabaleta, their most reliable and pointsworthy defender is also out. It’s Zabaleta’s assist contribution that will be missed. He has more than any other defender in the league, and three in his last four appearances.

Sporting have been very reliant on Aguero, although they’ve turned to Luis Suarez as their captain in recent weeks. Their replacement choice will be worth noting. The wrong choice of attacker could see that gap at the top closed. There are plenty of contenders. The best place to start could be the City squad itself, but also check the form of the likes of Gary Hooper, Yoann Gouffran and Marouane Chamakh. If you think there’s value in it, you could make a double transfer involving a cheaper attacker and an expensive midfielder.

A defeat against Chelsea could see Arsenal fall from the summit of the Premier League. The Arsenal defence took a bit of a hammering last week against City. They conceded more than one goal for the first time in the league since the opening day defeat against Villa. Laurent Koscielny is doubtful for this game, meaning Thomas Vermaelen could start. You can pick up Vermaelen for 5.4 million. But this is the low on confidence, 3rd choice, no game-time Vermaelen – and not the goal scoring, bonus bagging, captain reliable of two seasons ago.

And how many will Suarez score this week? Against Cardiff. At home. I wouldn’t bet against another hat trick. BREAKING NEWS…Cardiff in disarray. Malky Mackay may not be in charge. Make it a double hat trick.

Gameweek 24 preview

January 28, 2013

29 Jan 19:45 Aston Villa Aston Villa v Newcastle Newcastle
29 Jan 19:45 QPR QPR v Man City Man City
29 Jan 19:45 Stoke City Stoke City v Wigan Wigan
29 Jan 19:45 Sunderland Sunderland v Swansea Swansea
30 Jan 19:45 Arsenal Arsenal v Liverpool Liverpool
30 Jan 19:45 Everton Everton v West Brom West Brom
30 Jan 19:45 Norwich Norwich v Tottenham Tottenham
30 Jan 20:00 Fulham Fulham v West Ham West Ham
30 Jan 20:00 Man Utd Man Utd v Southampton Southampton
30 Jan 20:00 Reading Reading v Chelsea Chelsea 

To complete January we have a full midweek fixture list following on from the boring old FA Cup matches that clogged up the weekend. There are no teams playing twice, but tactics will be key to getting a high score out of this gameweek. This is your penultimate chance to play your January wildcard. The point of this wildcard being to bring in any newly bought players during the transfer window. It’s more likely going to be used to solve the overload of Arsenal, West Ham, Chelsea or Southampton players that might be taking up space in your squad following the last two weeks of double fixtures.

In the running for January manager of the month are…

1 Neil Madrid Neil Strong 83 239
2 Uriah Rennie 2nd XI Neil Greenwood 74 237
3 goodbutnosigurdsson Rob Hewer 98 232
4 A Pint of Fuller’s P Hawkins 80 223
5 None Of The Above Jonny Mabbutt 51 217
5 Hedgehog Corpse FC Nick Smith 92 217
7 Doing the 91 Colin Goulding 69 211
8 (Your Ad Here) Matthew Hopkins 75 211
9 Pescara Rangers Stewart Pope 79 207
10 Shoelace Untied Caroline Strong 77 206
11 Panza Grande XI Stuart Baker 74 201

If (Your Ad Here) or A Pint Of Fullers win, it’ll be their second monthly victory, but on current form, it’s looking more like one of the top 3 teams who’ll grab the prize.

Some of you may need that wildcard to remove Eden Hazard from your team. At present he only has a 3 game ban. This may increase, although I’m not sure that’s wise, as that will leave him free to roam the streets and beat more kids up.

If you’re going for an all out change, and lets face it some of you need to, then where better to start then the top 3. City, United and Chelsea all play bottom 6 sides. The sensible thing to do would be for those that don’t have Robin Van Persie to now crowbar him, somehow, into your team. He’s at 14.1 million – that’s 1.1 million more than he started. Interesting to note how reliant United have been on Van Persie this season. Check the price rises of the United team over the season. Only Van Persie, Evra, and Rafael have seen their values increase since August. All other United players values have dropped – than includes Rooney, Young, Valencia, Vidic, Ferdinand – the lot. Van Persie has made a scoring contribution in each of the last 10 gameweeks. Don’t expect this run to stop. So Hazard out – RVP in? You still have to allow for another 5 million.

And there are some players in form, and cheap. Ish. Pablo Zabaleta – now it seems City have figured out how to defend again – is up to 6 million. We all could have got him a lot cheaper in November, but he’s gone from bit-part-every-other-week pick to captain, cult hero and talisman. He’s scoring goals too. 2 in his last 4, including the FA Cup at the weekend. And, City’s bottom 6 opponents for the gameweek – QPR – who couldn’t beat the MK Dons on Saturday.

In midfield take a look at Jonathan De Guzman. He’s finding the net for Swansea, although frustratingly, isn’t always first on the team sheet. Yet, when he plays 90 minutes, he scores. In his last 4 90 minute appearances he’s scored 15, 9, 10 and 9.

You probably shouldn’t need to be told about Rickie Lambert. He’s the best pounds for points player across the whole game. He’s still floating around midway between 6 and 7 million – that’s half a Van Persie – and is only less popular than RVP, Ba, Suarez and Tevez.

Definitely plenty of cheap options when you give Hazard the boot. No pun intended.

Gameweek 21 results

January 4, 2013

1 A Pint of Fuller’s P Hawkins 61 1,140
2 Pimp My Side Jordan Raper 77 1,119
3 Pescara Rangers Stewart Pope 50 1,119
4 Hedgehog Corpse FC Nick Smith 50 1,114
5 Shoelace Untied Caroline Strong 61 1,102
6 Uriah Rennie 2nd XI Neil Greenwood 71 1,098
7 Les Canaris David Spinks 52 1,097
8 (Your Ad Here) Matthew Hopkins 40 1,066
9 Neil Madrid Neil Strong 81 1,065
10 Panza Grande XI Stuart Baker 69 1,063
11 A Few Good Men Darren Pope 37 1,048
12 None Of The Above Jonny Mabbutt 67 1,048
13 Doing the 91 Colin Goulding 79 1,045
14 Bermie Utd Glen Davies 71 1,014
15 Fancy a brouhaha? Ian Williams 64 1,008
16 Rip Roaring Reds Sean Whyton 44 1,006
17 Borussia HairBack Alex Ritchie 65 1,005
18 Body Issues FC Arron Fellows 56 996
19 goodbutnosigurdsson Rob Hewer 74 992
20 Pretty Schitty City Alex Michaluk 87 988
21 Release The Hounds 5 Paul Mitchell 52 966
22 Moxie XI Luke O’Shea 67 962
23 Upper Bullens Scouse Mouse 36 956
24 Crazy Legs XI David Caldicott 66 950
25 Inter Ealing Paul Bentz 33 921
26 Real Jorvik Simon Brown 41 902
27 Lothersdale FC Simon Rider 36 888

Part of the key to this year’s league is to guess when not to have Robin Van Persie as your captain. He’s more than capable of top scoring every week. He’s managed double figures on 5 occasions  He’s contributed with either a goal or an assist in each of the last 8 weeks. He’s a pretty safe bet to get you 10+ points if you hand him the captaincy whoever United play. When they play Wigan – it’s a shoe in. Having said all that – he’s not player of the week. Luis Suarez matched Van Persie’s stats, and as he’s the cheaper player, so he wins the player of the week award. Suarez is in a rich vein of form also. That’s 4 consecutive scoring weeks for him – the second in a row in which he’s hit double figures. Matching both Suarez and Van Persie stat for stat, but for one less bonus point, was Javier Hernandez. If you can guess the weeks that Fergie’s going to plump for the Mexican, again, you’re almost certainly on for a high score. This week he managed 15 points. He’s played a full 90 minutes on 4 other occasions this season. He’s scored more than 9 points in 3 of those games. Until Rooney returns, you suspect he’ll keep his place. Fergie may even try to accommodate all three – as he did against West Ham some weeks back – although that only ended in a 1-0 victory. Too many cocks…I mean cooks.

And so the big Buckets scorers this week had a combination of two of these brace scoring strikers. No team was lucky enough to have all three. Pretty Schitty City had Van Persie and Hernandez – and top scored with 87 points. Neil Madrid also had RVP and Hernandez. Goodbutnosigurdsson and Pimp My Side had Suarez and RVP – which bodes well for them for the coming weeks, given the form that both are in. Shoe-horning Van Persie in is probably impossible without having to sell 3 or 4 other players – and it’s becoming increasingly more difficult to do it with Suarez too, as his value increases again week on week.

There are hints of a few changes in fortune for various players and teams. Stoke conceded 3 for the second consecutive week, and Liverpool look a lot more attractive a proposition as they scored 3 and kept a clean sheet for the second consecutive week. Skrtel, Agger and Johnson are all in the top 10 scoring defenders, not so much for their defensive play, but for their goals, assists and bonus scoring. The same can be said for Patrice Evra, who assisted again this week, to add to the 2 goals he scored in weeks 18 and 19. Pablo Zabaleta is City’s go to defender at the moment. Another not keeping as many clean sheets as you’d want him too, but very capable of chipping in with a goal and assist every couple of weeks. Zabaleta’s place in the team looks nailed on for a good few weeks to come yet with both Richards and Maicon injured, and only at a price of 5.9 million. Liverpool’s upturn in form has coincided not only with Suarez’s latest scoring burst, but Steven Gerrard seems to have woken up aswell. It’s 5 consecutive scoring games for him now. It might not have looked likekly at the start of the season, but as the new year starts, Liverpool might be the go to team for affordable players, at the expense of the likes of Stoke, Norwich and Swansea, whose form has all waned slightly. It’s been 4 gameweeks since a Michu goal.

  • Player of the week – Luis Suarez – 16 points. On for a 30 goal season?
  • Bargain of the week – Joey O’Brien – 15 points. Subbed before West Ham conceded.
  • Donkey of the week – Robert Huth – 0 points. Time to change the defence?

Goal of the week

Weedy bloke. Thunderous free kick.

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