Gameweek 33 results

1  same The Craggy Islanders
Adrian Roche
85 2086
2  same Perfidious Albion
Andrew Swift
77 2066
3  same But Da Pitch Ain’t 1
Trev Reams
78 2052
4  same Neil Madrid
Neil Strong
90 2018
5  same Bielsa Ringing
Alan Hardy
69 1974
6  same Shoelace Untied
Caroline Strong
70 1958
7  same FC Caligula
Ajay Supeda
64 1930
8  same INIT FC
Mustafa khan
72 1913
9  up FTM
Stu Smith
72 1895
10  same Edgbaston
Micheal Dinneen
60 1888
11  down Rip Roaring Reds
Sean Whyton
49 1886
12  same Aribo Haribo
Paul Hawkins
60 1861
13  up Game of Stones
Ryan Garoghan
75 1858
14  same Deeney in a Bottle
Stephanie Cripps
42 1842
15  same Frostee Rucker
Paul Bentz
46 1835
16  down Upper Bullens
Andy Taylor
20 1825
17  up Cookie fc
Peter Cook
59 1813
18  up King raggg
Steven Darling
61 1801
19  up Pretty Schitty City
Alex Michaluk
73 1800
20  down Nashton Villa
Jaime Nash
41 1793
21  up Dinamo Spinks
David Spinks
51 1787
22  up Mour Salt and Pep
Noel Driver
88 1780
23  down Salah Buffoon!!!
Jitesh Lakhani
47 1780
24  down RICO UNITED
14 1773
25  up Kebab Eaters Utd
Paul Howard
87 1762
26  up Crazy Leg XI
David Caldicott
51 1744
27  down SLABHEAD FC
Adam Burnett
34 1740
28  down Kompany & Co
8 1738
29  up Your Ad Here
Matthew Hopkins
62 1737
30  down Fake Madrid
Andrew Wade
29 1736
31  up PenshawPerformers
david bruce
64 1726
32  up Need son luck
Matt Jarvis
74 1726
33  down Musttryharder fc
Paul Telford
25 1715
34  same Hemel Hotspurs
Paul Jarvis
59 1694
35  up Dropit like its Hart
Jason Earwicker
68 1683
36  up Greeeenteeam
adam greenwood
61 1682
37  down El Loco No Joko
Paul Murray
19 1665
38  down Real Jorvik
Simon Brown
28 1664
39  down Morningblues
Jeff Morning
20 1653
40  down The Big Lewandowski
Paul Callaghan
22 1653
41  down Atlético Chappers
Richard Chapman
30 1650
42  up Pique Blinders
Colin Goulding
33 1640
14 1638
44  same romeoshondavan
Rob Hewer
19 1619
45  same Puddle Splash Van
Ian Williams
33 1617
46  same Hoose Reus
James Whitfield
42 1613
47  up ClipityKlopptotitle
tanya thursby
27 1567
48  down It’s coming home
scott mcgow
21 1565
49  same The Mindless Morons
John Seacroft
26 1489
50  same Ross’s champions
darren frankland
14 1418


League leaders – The Craggy Islanders – Adrian Roche – 2086 points

As we get to the arse end of the season we’ll take a gameweekly look at how the title race is panning out. It looks like one of three teams for the top prize. All have undertaken a slightly different end of season strategy regarding their chips and wildcards. Of the three it’s the Islanders that appear to be in the strongest position with a wildcard, bench boost and triple captain remaining. I predict a wildcard in the coming gameweek with a bench boost following in GW35. That leaves their triple captain possibly for the last week when the scores can go crazy, form definitely goes out the window, all defences tend to go on holiday and strikers fill their boots. Albion have the highest accumulative score over the last three weeks but only have their free hit remaining. Watch out for that being played in GW35. Da Pitch have dropped back slightly, being the least successful of the three at negotiating the last three weeks, but with two more double gameweeks remaining and their triple captain and bench boost chips untouched, they could force their way back into the reckoning. Maybe we’ll see a brave punt on a GW34 Lewis Dunk triple captain?

Manager of the week – Neil Madrid – Neil Strong – 90 points

Virtually the same team that failed in blank gameweek 31 came through this reduced gameweek to spectacular effect. Backing any striker worth his salt against Huddersfield seems to be the sensible way forward at the moment – step forward Jamie Vardy. Eden Hazard would have been as effective a captain choice. They were the players of choice for the top nine teams in the league. Having both, as many teams did given the smaller pool of players to pick from, guaranteed you a score somewhere in the 70’s or above. Youri Tielemans may have been the player making the difference for Madrid, tipping the score out of the 80’s. The young Belgian has a goal or assist in each of the last six games. It’s a shame and a bit of a headache given his (and Vardy’s) form that Leicester don’t appear in either double gameweek.

Player of the week – Jamie Vardy – Leicester City – 16 points

Two goals and an assist against a Huddersfield team now totally devoid of any fight was as obvious a captain choice as there’s been all season. Especially for a striker in a rich vein of form – Vardy has eight in eight. I’m not in sure you need to be a striker in form to get something against Huddersfield. Harry Kane faces up to that defence next week. In his quest for the golden boot, it could be brutal.

Bargain of the week – Phil Jagielka – Everton – 15 points

In gameweek 1 he was sent off after 39 minutes, collected -3 points, and looked likely to never play again. He did – two more performances amassed 7 more points to put him back in the black. A warm up injury to Michael Keane promoted him to the starting line up this weekend and he quadrupled his total for the season in the space of 90 minutes.

Twat of the week – Nathaniel Clyne – Bournemouth – -1 points

Hooked at half time having already conceded two and been booked. Bournemouth aren’t the most dependable when looking for clean sheet points and Clyne hasn’t provided any attacking full back assists as it was hoped he might since his loan move.

Goal of the week – Eden Hazard (1st goal).



Gameweek 38 and end of season results

1 Neil Madrid Neil Strong 57 2,175
2 Pescara Rangers Stewart Pope 45 2,123
3 Hedgehog Corpse FC Nick Smith 33 2,114
4 NaboombuDirtyYellows Andrew Swift 57 2,112
5 Shoelace Untied Caroline Strong 36 2,061
6 RayCrawfordsCrackers Rob Hewer 44 2,051
7 Bermie Utd Glen Davies 63 2,049
8 Uriah Rennie 2nd XI Neil Greenwood 45 2,045
9 Gaalatcticos Colin Goulding 53 2,039
10 * Your Ad Here * Matthew Hopkins 44 2,037
11 Van Damme United P Hawkins 42 2,021
12 Paris Spinks Germain David Spinks 52 2,003
13 Upper Bullens Andy Taylor 26 1,993
14 Ciderheads Darren Pope 33 1,966
15 Who R U DEAN CRIPPS 45 1,953
16 Accrington Rudyard Ian Williams 41 1,939
17 Pretty Schitty City Alex Michaluk 47 1,903
18 Rip Roaring Reds Sean Whyton 50 1,901
19 Biscuitmen Chris Morton 33 1,881
20 The Mindless Morons John Seacroft 59 1,876
21 Panza Grande XI Stuart Baker 47 1,837
22 Get to the choppa Mark Bromham 40 1,834
23 Real Jorvik FC Simon Brown 45 1,830
24 Release The Hounds Paul Mitchell 45 1,788
25 Luxembourg United Simon Smallbone 32 1,758
26 No Recognized Plan Paul Bentz 41 1,744
27 Sportingabiggerwig Alex Ritchie 39 1,723
28 Crazylegs XI David Caldicott 32 1,617
29 Jordie’s Giants Jordan Raper 21 1,357


A  typically ridiculous last day of the season. Some teams scored lots of goals. Some players scored lots of points, most of whom are nowhere near anyone’s fantasy squads. Of the players who made the weekly dream team line up, only Santi Cazorla appears among the season’s top points scorers. The last Arsenal payer you want scoring a hat trick is Theo Walcott – but he did – and from warming the bench and the treatment table all season has potentially played himself into contention for an FA Cup final start.

Our last weekly winners are Bermie United. Fittingly, their 63 points also secured the May manager of the month award. They didn’t make any transfers this week – they didn’t need to – they’ve been on a steady rise for the last couple of weeks. They’ve climbed 200,000 places in the overall game since gameweek 34, and finish in 7th overall.

1 Bermie Utd Glen Davies 63 279
2 Paris Spinks Germain David Spinks 52 263
3 NaboombuDirtyYellows Andrew Swift 57 262
4 Neil Madrid Neil Strong 57 235
5 Release The Hounds Paul Mitchell 45 231
6 Gaalatcticos Colin Goulding 53 229


In the race for the title, Neil Madrid hit a steady 57 points to secure the trophy with room to spare. The battle for the runners up spot went to Pescara who leapfrogged Hedgehog Corpse. Hedgehog nearly slipped to fourth behind Naboombu’s, who would have pinched third had they made Moussa Sissoko or Phil Jones their captain. But who in their right mind would have done that?

Player of the week – Theo Walcott – 20 points. Only his fourth start of the season

Bargain of the week – Mame Biram Diouf – 16 points. Finishes as Stoke’s top scoring player.

Donkey of the week – Marouane Fellaini – -2 points. Trying his hardest to keep Hull up.

Goal of the week – Jack Wilshere. Screamer. 1m46s.



Eden Hazard finishes as top player. He played every game, and pretty much every minute, scoring more bonus points than anybody else by some distance, yet interestingly never picked up a player of the week award. The best bargain player by some distance was Harry Kane. He’ll still only set you back £6 million. It did get as high as £6.5 but has dropped after a quiet few weeks. Burnley keeper, Tom Heaton, is the best value for money player. Ten clean sheets might be unprecedented by a relegated keeper. This includes three in his last three games – since they were relegated. Heaton is also one of six keepers to have saved more than one penalty this season. He also comes in at fourth in the overall saves table behind Fabianski, Adrian and Rob Green. Proving again that the more shots you’re likely to have to save – the better fantasy keeper you are.

Alexis Sanchez’s value increased the most over the season – by £1.1 million. Harry Kane’s had got to a £1.5 million increase before his recent slump. Hazard’s had increased to £1.4 million only two weeks ago. He played at the weekend, but most managers had shipped him out after reading the reports of his wonky wisdom teeth. Nathaniel Clyne and Stewart Downing had both increased in value by £1.2 million at various points of the season. Southampton, on the whole, offered up the best value for money players. Had you ignored the early season pundit predictions that they’d struggle, and picked three of Clyne, Ryan Bertrand, Jose Fonte, Fraser Forster or Graziano Pelle, you’d have got off to a blinding start. Don’t expect them to be so cheap next season.

RayCrawfordsCrackers unsurprisingly tinkered their way to the most manager of the week awards this season. They finished the week with the highest score six times, one less that the record they set last year. Shoelace were the only team to take more than one monthly award, winning the prize in October and March. The player of the week awards were much more evenly spread than last year. I’d be surprised if anyone beat Luis Suarez’s record of five from last season. Harry Kane finished as the highest scorer on three occassions.

Yannick Bolasie hit the highest weekly score of 24 points in gameweek 32 – a hat trick, an assist and all bonus marks against Sunderland. In gamweek 31 Christian Beneteke equalled the highest score up until that point with 23 points – a total that had already been achieved by Dusan Tadic in gameweek 8 – also against Sunderland. Also in gameweek 31, Charlie Austin bagged 21 points – our highest bargain player score. Unsurprisingly, gameweek 31produced our highest team score – 119 points by Pescara – who had both Benteke (c) and Austin in their team. Sergio Aguero and Sadio Mane, in gameweeks 36 and 37 respectively also posted 23 point weekly scores.

Sunderland’s Santiago Vergini hit the depths with a -4 weekly score in their 8-0 drubbing at the hands of Southampton. This included a cracking og that would easily be up for goal of the season, had it not been for the fact he volleyed it into the roof of his own net. Hull and Everton served up the most donkeys with four each. Kyle Naughton was our only double donkey this season whilst playing for Spurs. He now plays for Swansea.

Team of the season

  • GK – Lukasz Fabianski – Swansea City – 151 points
  • DR – Branislav Ivanovic – Chelsea – 171 points
  • DL – Ryan Bertrand – Southampton – 140 points
  • DC – John Terry – Chelsea – 170 points
  • DC – Phil Jagielka – Everton – 142 points
  • MR – Alexis Sanchez – Arsenal – 207 points
  • ML – Eden Hazard – Chelsea – 233 points
  • CM – David Silva – Manchester City – 191 points
  • CM – Santi Cazorla – Arsenal – 168 points
  • AT – Sergio Aguero – Manchester City – 216 points
  • AT – Harry Kane – Tottenham Hotspur – 191 points

Bargains of the season (with season starting value)

  • GK – Tom Heaton – Burnley – 150 points – £4.5 million
  • DR – Nathaniel Clyne – Southampton – 142 points – £5 million
  • DL – Neil Taylor – Swansea City – 109 points – £4.5 million
  • DC – Joleon Lescott – West Bromwich Albion – 127 points – £5 million
  • DC – Ashley Williams – Swansea City – 118 points – £5 million
  • MR – Nacer Chadli – Tottenham Hotspur – 160 points – £6 million
  • ML – Stewart Downing – West Ham United – 160 points – £5.5 million
  • MC – Gylfi Sigurdsson – Swansea City – 154 points – £6 million
  • MC – Ki Sung-Yeung – Swansea City – 129 points – £5 million
  • AT – Charlie Austin –  Queens Park Rangers – 176 points – £6 million
  • AT – Graziano Pelle – Southampton – 149 points – £7.5 million


That’s it. Seventy odd days till we start again. Check the Roll of Honour and Prize Money links for full season breakdown. I’ll be in touch with the winners regarding payment of prize money over the next few days.

Well done everyone.


Gameweek 13 preview

29 Nov 12:45 West Brom v Arsenal
29 Nov 15:00 Burnley v Aston Villa
29 Nov 15:00 Liverpool v Stoke
29 Nov 15:00 Man Utd v Hull
29 Nov 15:00 QPR v Leicester
29 Nov 15:00 Swansea v Crystal Palace
29 Nov 15:00 West Ham v Newcastle
29 Nov 17:30 Sunderland v Chelsea
30 Nov 13:30 Southampton v Man City
30 Nov 16:00 Spurs v Everton


We’re a third of the way through. Uriah’s have been top of the Buckets League since gameweek four. They built a commanding lead up to week nine of 41 points, but have seen that slowly chipped away over the last three gameweeks to just 12 points. As we approach the second third of the season, the end of the fourth month and the start of the winter schedule, are we about to see new leaders of the Buckets League?

It seems unlikely we’re about to see new leaders of the Premier League. Chelsea have established a six point lead over Southampton and an eight point lead over City. They’ve almost twice as many points as Arsenal and more than twice as many points as Liverpool. It’s no surprise that a large amount of teams have the full quota of Chelsea players. There’s not a great deal of rotation going on at Stamford Bridge either. It’s pretty much the same eleven every week barring injuries and/or suspensions, meaning managers can be reasonably confident of opting for the likes of Willian, Oscar and Azpilicueta if they’re finding it difficult to squeeze in Fabregas, Costa, Hazard or Ivanovic. Their march towards the title shouldn’t be hindered by an on/off Sunderland team this weekend.

Positions may alter below Chelsea however, as Southampton head into a tough run of fixtures. The Saints must face Aguero (as Man City will now be known), United, Everton, Chelsea and Arsenal (twice!) between now and the break for the FA Cup third round in the first week of January. It will be interesting to see how they cope, how many points they manage to pick up, where they end up in the league, and most importantly for the purposes of this blog, whether there’ll be a mass cull of their players from Buckets squads. Graziano Pelle and Dusan Tadic have only managed two assists between them since their 8-0 hammering of Sunderland. It already could be time for a rethink on their attacking options. Their most reliable players are Nathaniel Clyne and Ryan Bertrand, but it’s highly likely there won’t be as many clean sheet points available to them over the next six weeks or so. Although, as they proved in their draw at Aston Villa last week, both are more than capable of picking up goals and assists.

Gameweek 6 preview

27 Sep 12:45 Liverpool v Everton
27 Sep 15:00 Chelsea v Aston Villa
27 Sep 15:00 Crystal Palace  v Leicester
27 Sep 15:00 Hull v Man City
27 Sep 15:00 Man Utd v West Ham
27 Sep 15:00 Southampton  v QPR
27 Sep 15:00 Sunderland  v Swansea
27 Sep 17:30 Arsenal v Spurs
28 Sep 16:00 West Brom  v Burnley
29 Sep 20:00 Stoke  v Newcastle


Buckets managers should perhaps look to Southampton this weekend for the best returns. Their form through September may bag Ronald Koeman the manager of the month award, regardless of what Jose and Chelsea do to Villa. Last month the award panel favoured Garry Monk over Mourinho after both made unbeaten starts, and I imagine there’ll be a similar leaning toward the less fancied team this time round too. They’ve arguably the easiest fixture of the week, at home to a QPR side that get nervous the moment their coach turns onto Uxbridge Road. Many predicted a season of struggle having lost so many of their best players over the summer, but of the four that jumped ship, only Dejan Lovren is outscoring his replacement – and that’s due to the fact he’s played four more games than Toby Alderweireld. Most impressive have been Nathaniel Clyne and Ryan Bertrand, who, as well as the three clean sheets in five, have also contributed a smattering of goals, assists and bonus points to the cause.

Sticking with your, or adding to your Chelsea contingent would also be advisable. A home tie against Villa has delivered plenty of goals over the years, including an 8-0 mauling a few season back. It’s a different Villa these days, but last weeks humbling at the hands of Arsenal suggests they’re not quite ready for a top 6 challenge just yet. Diego Costa will be heavily fancied to get straight back on the scoring trail having had a week off last week, and it’s surely only a matter of time before Eden Hazard as a bumper week. I hope.

Its the final week of Manchester United’s six week head start. It’s a home tie against West Ham. How many will they score? How many will they concede?? They’ve only one fit centre half, and that’s Marcos Rojo – who’s no Vidic. West Ham have without warning become an exciting, pacy attacking side in the last two games. They’ve found the net more than most teams in the league, and even Stewart Downing looks rejuvenated. Don’t be surprised if there’s a repeat of last week’s Leicester result – just don’t go anywhere near the defenders.

Gameweek 22 results

1 A Pint of Fuller’s P Hawkins 82 1,222
2 Pescara Rangers Stewart Pope 90 1,209
3 Uriah Rennie 2nd XI Neil Greenwood 92 1,190
4 Hedgehog Corpse FC Nick Smith 79 1,189
5 Pimp My Side Jordan Raper 61 1,180
6 Shoelace Untied Caroline Strong 68 1,170
7 Les Canaris David Spinks 71 1,168
8 (Your Ad Here) Matthew Hopkins 96 1,162
9 None Of The Above Jonny Mabbutt 99 1,147
10 Neil Madrid Neil Strong 83 1,144
11 A Few Good Men Darren Pope 78 1,126
12 Panza Grande XI Stuart Baker 62 1,125
13 Doing the 91 Colin Goulding 63 1,108
14 Borussia HairBack Alex Ritchie 79 1,084
15 Rip Roaring Reds Sean Whyton 71 1,077
16 goodbutnosigurdsson Rob Hewer 72 1,056
17 Bermie Utd Glen Davies 37 1,051
18 Release The Hounds 5 Paul Mitchell 84 1,050
19 Fancy a brouhaha? Ian Williams 46 1,050
20 Body Issues FC Arron Fellows 47 1,043
21 Upper Bullens Scouse Mouse 73 1,029
22 Pretty Schitty City Alex Michaluk 40 1,028
23 Moxie XI Luke O’Shea 50 1,012
24 Crazy Legs XI David Caldicott 51 1,001
25 Real Jorvik Simon Brown 81 983
26 Lothersdale FC Simon Rider 74 962
27 Inter Ealing Paul Bentz 31 952


Some big scores this week, and all due to the two teams who played twice. Both Southampton and Chelsea kept a clean sheet in their first game, and the 2-2 draw last night added to the totals of the likes of Demba Ba, Eden Hazard, Jason Puncheon, Nathaniel Clyne and Rickie Lambert. Chelsea hit 4 past Stoke, courtesy of 3 assists from Juan Mata, who also bagged 2 bonus points for his efforts. Lampard and Hazard also bagged bonuses and goals. Azpilicueta got the last assist, as well as his clean sheet points. Lambert’s penalty saw off Villa. Read that paragraph again. If you had a combination of any of those players, with the odd defender from either team thrown in – the more the merrier – then you’re probably one of those managers smugly celebrating  the 70+ points you gained this week.

None of the Above hit 99 points. His Chelsea/Saints combo consisted of Cole, Clyne, Ba and captain Hazard, who alone scored 38 points. They were ably assisted by 3 of the game’s undroppables – Fellaini, Van Persie and Tevez. None of the Above are this week’s best team. Other notable scorers were (Your Ad Here), who may have had the best combination of players from the two teams. Mata captained the team and picked up 32 points. They also had Lambert, Puncheon, Ivanovic and Ba. Altogether, those 5 players scored 73 of (Your Ad Here)’s 96 points. Pescara and Uriah Rennie also managed 90+ scores. Pescara got all maverick and chose David Luiz as captain – that second clean sheet wasn’t forthcoming unfortunately. And the 81 points scored by Real Jorvik was aided by the inclusion of 4 (4?!?) Chelsea players. STEWARDS INQUIRY! One of those being the recently transferred Demba Ba. Presumably they’ll be forced to change that this next gameweek.

A final word for this week’s donkey. Congratulations to Jon Walters. Did anyone have him? I’ve seen defenders pick up scores of -5 and -6 in the event of conceding 6 and being sent off, or scoring an own goal – but for a midfielder to manage -4 might make this the worst ever week by any player in the history of fantasy football. Walters managed 2 own goals and missed a penalty. He must have had a bet on himself. I hope it was worth it.

  • Player of the week – Eden Hazard – 19 points. 4 bonus + 2 goals + 2 full 90 minutes and 1 clean sheet point means he just edges out Mata.
  • Bargain of the week – Rickie Lambert – 14 points. 3 bonus + 2 goals + 3 appearance points. 4 goals in 5 and into double figures.
  • Donkey of the week – Jonathan Walters – -4 points. He should have got himself sent off.

Goal of the weekend

Larsson v West Ham