|1||Neil Madrid||Neil Strong||57||2,175|
|2||Pescara Rangers||Stewart Pope||45||2,123|
|3||Hedgehog Corpse FC||Nick Smith||33||2,114|
|5||Shoelace Untied||Caroline Strong||36||2,061|
|7||Bermie Utd||Glen Davies||63||2,049|
|8||Uriah Rennie 2nd XI||Neil Greenwood||45||2,045|
|10||* Your Ad Here *||Matthew Hopkins||44||2,037|
|11||Van Damme United||P Hawkins||42||2,021|
|12||Paris Spinks Germain||David Spinks||52||2,003|
|13||Upper Bullens||Andy Taylor||26||1,993|
|15||Who R U||DEAN CRIPPS||45||1,953|
|16||Accrington Rudyard||Ian Williams||41||1,939|
|17||Pretty Schitty City||Alex Michaluk||47||1,903|
|18||Rip Roaring Reds||Sean Whyton||50||1,901|
|20||The Mindless Morons||John Seacroft||59||1,876|
|21||Panza Grande XI||Stuart Baker||47||1,837|
|22||Get to the choppa||Mark Bromham||40||1,834|
|23||Real Jorvik FC||Simon Brown||45||1,830|
|24||Release The Hounds||Paul Mitchell||45||1,788|
|25||Luxembourg United||Simon Smallbone||32||1,758|
|26||No Recognized Plan||Paul Bentz||41||1,744|
|28||Crazylegs XI||David Caldicott||32||1,617|
|29||Jordie’s Giants||Jordan Raper||21||1,357|
A typically ridiculous last day of the season. Some teams scored lots of goals. Some players scored lots of points, most of whom are nowhere near anyone’s fantasy squads. Of the players who made the weekly dream team line up, only Santi Cazorla appears among the season’s top points scorers. The last Arsenal payer you want scoring a hat trick is Theo Walcott – but he did – and from warming the bench and the treatment table all season has potentially played himself into contention for an FA Cup final start.
Our last weekly winners are Bermie United. Fittingly, their 63 points also secured the May manager of the month award. They didn’t make any transfers this week – they didn’t need to – they’ve been on a steady rise for the last couple of weeks. They’ve climbed 200,000 places in the overall game since gameweek 34, and finish in 7th overall.
|1||Bermie Utd||Glen Davies||63||279|
|2||Paris Spinks Germain||David Spinks||52||263|
|4||Neil Madrid||Neil Strong||57||235|
|5||Release The Hounds||Paul Mitchell||45||231|
In the race for the title, Neil Madrid hit a steady 57 points to secure the trophy with room to spare. The battle for the runners up spot went to Pescara who leapfrogged Hedgehog Corpse. Hedgehog nearly slipped to fourth behind Naboombu’s, who would have pinched third had they made Moussa Sissoko or Phil Jones their captain. But who in their right mind would have done that?
Player of the week – Theo Walcott – 20 points. Only his fourth start of the season
Bargain of the week – Mame Biram Diouf – 16 points. Finishes as Stoke’s top scoring player.
Donkey of the week – Marouane Fellaini – -2 points. Trying his hardest to keep Hull up.
Goal of the week – Jack Wilshere. Screamer. 1m46s.
Eden Hazard finishes as top player. He played every game, and pretty much every minute, scoring more bonus points than anybody else by some distance, yet interestingly never picked up a player of the week award. The best bargain player by some distance was Harry Kane. He’ll still only set you back £6 million. It did get as high as £6.5 but has dropped after a quiet few weeks. Burnley keeper, Tom Heaton, is the best value for money player. Ten clean sheets might be unprecedented by a relegated keeper. This includes three in his last three games – since they were relegated. Heaton is also one of six keepers to have saved more than one penalty this season. He also comes in at fourth in the overall saves table behind Fabianski, Adrian and Rob Green. Proving again that the more shots you’re likely to have to save – the better fantasy keeper you are.
Alexis Sanchez’s value increased the most over the season – by £1.1 million. Harry Kane’s had got to a £1.5 million increase before his recent slump. Hazard’s had increased to £1.4 million only two weeks ago. He played at the weekend, but most managers had shipped him out after reading the reports of his wonky wisdom teeth. Nathaniel Clyne and Stewart Downing had both increased in value by £1.2 million at various points of the season. Southampton, on the whole, offered up the best value for money players. Had you ignored the early season pundit predictions that they’d struggle, and picked three of Clyne, Ryan Bertrand, Jose Fonte, Fraser Forster or Graziano Pelle, you’d have got off to a blinding start. Don’t expect them to be so cheap next season.
RayCrawfordsCrackers unsurprisingly tinkered their way to the most manager of the week awards this season. They finished the week with the highest score six times, one less that the record they set last year. Shoelace were the only team to take more than one monthly award, winning the prize in October and March. The player of the week awards were much more evenly spread than last year. I’d be surprised if anyone beat Luis Suarez’s record of five from last season. Harry Kane finished as the highest scorer on three occassions.
Yannick Bolasie hit the highest weekly score of 24 points in gameweek 32 – a hat trick, an assist and all bonus marks against Sunderland. In gamweek 31 Christian Beneteke equalled the highest score up until that point with 23 points – a total that had already been achieved by Dusan Tadic in gameweek 8 – also against Sunderland. Also in gameweek 31, Charlie Austin bagged 21 points – our highest bargain player score. Unsurprisingly, gameweek 31produced our highest team score – 119 points by Pescara – who had both Benteke (c) and Austin in their team. Sergio Aguero and Sadio Mane, in gameweeks 36 and 37 respectively also posted 23 point weekly scores.
Sunderland’s Santiago Vergini hit the depths with a -4 weekly score in their 8-0 drubbing at the hands of Southampton. This included a cracking og that would easily be up for goal of the season, had it not been for the fact he volleyed it into the roof of his own net. Hull and Everton served up the most donkeys with four each. Kyle Naughton was our only double donkey this season whilst playing for Spurs. He now plays for Swansea.
Team of the season
- GK – Lukasz Fabianski – Swansea City – 151 points
- DR – Branislav Ivanovic – Chelsea – 171 points
- DL – Ryan Bertrand – Southampton – 140 points
- DC – John Terry – Chelsea – 170 points
- DC – Phil Jagielka – Everton – 142 points
- MR – Alexis Sanchez – Arsenal – 207 points
- ML – Eden Hazard – Chelsea – 233 points
- CM – David Silva – Manchester City – 191 points
- CM – Santi Cazorla – Arsenal – 168 points
- AT – Sergio Aguero – Manchester City – 216 points
- AT – Harry Kane – Tottenham Hotspur – 191 points
Bargains of the season (with season starting value)
- GK – Tom Heaton – Burnley – 150 points – £4.5 million
- DR – Nathaniel Clyne – Southampton – 142 points – £5 million
- DL – Neil Taylor – Swansea City – 109 points – £4.5 million
- DC – Joleon Lescott – West Bromwich Albion – 127 points – £5 million
- DC – Ashley Williams – Swansea City – 118 points – £5 million
- MR – Nacer Chadli – Tottenham Hotspur – 160 points – £6 million
- ML – Stewart Downing – West Ham United – 160 points – £5.5 million
- MC – Gylfi Sigurdsson – Swansea City – 154 points – £6 million
- MC – Ki Sung-Yeung – Swansea City – 129 points – £5 million
- AT – Charlie Austin – Queens Park Rangers – 176 points – £6 million
- AT – Graziano Pelle – Southampton – 149 points – £7.5 million
That’s it. Seventy odd days till we start again. Check the Roll of Honour and Prize Money links for full season breakdown. I’ll be in touch with the winners regarding payment of prize money over the next few days.
Well done everyone.