Gameweek 38 and end of season results

1 Neil Madrid Neil Strong 57 2,175
2 Pescara Rangers Stewart Pope 45 2,123
3 Hedgehog Corpse FC Nick Smith 33 2,114
4 NaboombuDirtyYellows Andrew Swift 57 2,112
5 Shoelace Untied Caroline Strong 36 2,061
6 RayCrawfordsCrackers Rob Hewer 44 2,051
7 Bermie Utd Glen Davies 63 2,049
8 Uriah Rennie 2nd XI Neil Greenwood 45 2,045
9 Gaalatcticos Colin Goulding 53 2,039
10 * Your Ad Here * Matthew Hopkins 44 2,037
11 Van Damme United P Hawkins 42 2,021
12 Paris Spinks Germain David Spinks 52 2,003
13 Upper Bullens Andy Taylor 26 1,993
14 Ciderheads Darren Pope 33 1,966
15 Who R U DEAN CRIPPS 45 1,953
16 Accrington Rudyard Ian Williams 41 1,939
17 Pretty Schitty City Alex Michaluk 47 1,903
18 Rip Roaring Reds Sean Whyton 50 1,901
19 Biscuitmen Chris Morton 33 1,881
20 The Mindless Morons John Seacroft 59 1,876
21 Panza Grande XI Stuart Baker 47 1,837
22 Get to the choppa Mark Bromham 40 1,834
23 Real Jorvik FC Simon Brown 45 1,830
24 Release The Hounds Paul Mitchell 45 1,788
25 Luxembourg United Simon Smallbone 32 1,758
26 No Recognized Plan Paul Bentz 41 1,744
27 Sportingabiggerwig Alex Ritchie 39 1,723
28 Crazylegs XI David Caldicott 32 1,617
29 Jordie’s Giants Jordan Raper 21 1,357

 

A  typically ridiculous last day of the season. Some teams scored lots of goals. Some players scored lots of points, most of whom are nowhere near anyone’s fantasy squads. Of the players who made the weekly dream team line up, only Santi Cazorla appears among the season’s top points scorers. The last Arsenal payer you want scoring a hat trick is Theo Walcott – but he did – and from warming the bench and the treatment table all season has potentially played himself into contention for an FA Cup final start.

Our last weekly winners are Bermie United. Fittingly, their 63 points also secured the May manager of the month award. They didn’t make any transfers this week – they didn’t need to – they’ve been on a steady rise for the last couple of weeks. They’ve climbed 200,000 places in the overall game since gameweek 34, and finish in 7th overall.

1 Bermie Utd Glen Davies 63 279
2 Paris Spinks Germain David Spinks 52 263
3 NaboombuDirtyYellows Andrew Swift 57 262
4 Neil Madrid Neil Strong 57 235
5 Release The Hounds Paul Mitchell 45 231
6 Gaalatcticos Colin Goulding 53 229

 

In the race for the title, Neil Madrid hit a steady 57 points to secure the trophy with room to spare. The battle for the runners up spot went to Pescara who leapfrogged Hedgehog Corpse. Hedgehog nearly slipped to fourth behind Naboombu’s, who would have pinched third had they made Moussa Sissoko or Phil Jones their captain. But who in their right mind would have done that?

Player of the week – Theo Walcott – 20 points. Only his fourth start of the season

Bargain of the week – Mame Biram Diouf – 16 points. Finishes as Stoke’s top scoring player.

Donkey of the week – Marouane Fellaini – -2 points. Trying his hardest to keep Hull up.

Goal of the week – Jack Wilshere. Screamer. 1m46s.

 

 

Eden Hazard finishes as top player. He played every game, and pretty much every minute, scoring more bonus points than anybody else by some distance, yet interestingly never picked up a player of the week award. The best bargain player by some distance was Harry Kane. He’ll still only set you back £6 million. It did get as high as £6.5 but has dropped after a quiet few weeks. Burnley keeper, Tom Heaton, is the best value for money player. Ten clean sheets might be unprecedented by a relegated keeper. This includes three in his last three games – since they were relegated. Heaton is also one of six keepers to have saved more than one penalty this season. He also comes in at fourth in the overall saves table behind Fabianski, Adrian and Rob Green. Proving again that the more shots you’re likely to have to save – the better fantasy keeper you are.

Alexis Sanchez’s value increased the most over the season – by £1.1 million. Harry Kane’s had got to a £1.5 million increase before his recent slump. Hazard’s had increased to £1.4 million only two weeks ago. He played at the weekend, but most managers had shipped him out after reading the reports of his wonky wisdom teeth. Nathaniel Clyne and Stewart Downing had both increased in value by £1.2 million at various points of the season. Southampton, on the whole, offered up the best value for money players. Had you ignored the early season pundit predictions that they’d struggle, and picked three of Clyne, Ryan Bertrand, Jose Fonte, Fraser Forster or Graziano Pelle, you’d have got off to a blinding start. Don’t expect them to be so cheap next season.

RayCrawfordsCrackers unsurprisingly tinkered their way to the most manager of the week awards this season. They finished the week with the highest score six times, one less that the record they set last year. Shoelace were the only team to take more than one monthly award, winning the prize in October and March. The player of the week awards were much more evenly spread than last year. I’d be surprised if anyone beat Luis Suarez’s record of five from last season. Harry Kane finished as the highest scorer on three occassions.

Yannick Bolasie hit the highest weekly score of 24 points in gameweek 32 – a hat trick, an assist and all bonus marks against Sunderland. In gamweek 31 Christian Beneteke equalled the highest score up until that point with 23 points – a total that had already been achieved by Dusan Tadic in gameweek 8 – also against Sunderland. Also in gameweek 31, Charlie Austin bagged 21 points – our highest bargain player score. Unsurprisingly, gameweek 31produced our highest team score – 119 points by Pescara – who had both Benteke (c) and Austin in their team. Sergio Aguero and Sadio Mane, in gameweeks 36 and 37 respectively also posted 23 point weekly scores.

Sunderland’s Santiago Vergini hit the depths with a -4 weekly score in their 8-0 drubbing at the hands of Southampton. This included a cracking og that would easily be up for goal of the season, had it not been for the fact he volleyed it into the roof of his own net. Hull and Everton served up the most donkeys with four each. Kyle Naughton was our only double donkey this season whilst playing for Spurs. He now plays for Swansea.

Team of the season

  • GK – Lukasz Fabianski – Swansea City – 151 points
  • DR – Branislav Ivanovic – Chelsea – 171 points
  • DL – Ryan Bertrand – Southampton – 140 points
  • DC – John Terry – Chelsea – 170 points
  • DC – Phil Jagielka – Everton – 142 points
  • MR – Alexis Sanchez – Arsenal – 207 points
  • ML – Eden Hazard – Chelsea – 233 points
  • CM – David Silva – Manchester City – 191 points
  • CM – Santi Cazorla – Arsenal – 168 points
  • AT – Sergio Aguero – Manchester City – 216 points
  • AT – Harry Kane – Tottenham Hotspur – 191 points

Bargains of the season (with season starting value)

  • GK – Tom Heaton – Burnley – 150 points – £4.5 million
  • DR – Nathaniel Clyne – Southampton – 142 points – £5 million
  • DL – Neil Taylor – Swansea City – 109 points – £4.5 million
  • DC – Joleon Lescott – West Bromwich Albion – 127 points – £5 million
  • DC – Ashley Williams – Swansea City – 118 points – £5 million
  • MR – Nacer Chadli – Tottenham Hotspur – 160 points – £6 million
  • ML – Stewart Downing – West Ham United – 160 points – £5.5 million
  • MC – Gylfi Sigurdsson – Swansea City – 154 points – £6 million
  • MC – Ki Sung-Yeung – Swansea City – 129 points – £5 million
  • AT – Charlie Austin –  Queens Park Rangers – 176 points – £6 million
  • AT – Graziano Pelle – Southampton – 149 points – £7.5 million

 

That’s it. Seventy odd days till we start again. Check the Roll of Honour and Prize Money links for full season breakdown. I’ll be in touch with the winners regarding payment of prize money over the next few days.

Well done everyone.

 

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Gameweek 38 preview

24 May 15:00 Arsenal v West Brom
24 May 15:00 Aston Villa v Burnley
24 May 15:00 Chelsea v Sunderland
24 May 15:00 Crystal Palace v Swansea
24 May 15:00 Everton v Spurs
24 May 15:00 Hull v Man Utd
24 May 15:00 Leicester v QPR
24 May 15:00 Man City v Southampton
24 May 15:00 Newcastle v West Ham
24 May 15:00 Stoke v Liverpool

 

Who has something to play for?

The top four look settled. It’s just a case of who finishes in what position. It will take an almighty crash, or a stroke of risk-taking-captain-appointing genius for Neil Madrid not to be crowned champions. Three points separate second and third. Pescara and Hedgehog Corpse look like the only two teams that could switch positions in the top four. There’s enough variation in their current line ups to suggest that it will go down to the last final whistle. Naboombu’s are 27 points behind third and 26 points ahead of fifth. Shoelace and RayCrawfordsCrackers, a further 14 points back in 6th, will need an inspired leftfield transfer or two to come good to give themselves a chance of catching fourth place.

Bermie United and PSG are the favourites for the May manager of the month…

1 Bermie Utd Glen Davies 57 216
2 Paris Spinks Germain David Spinks 55 211
3 NaboombuDirtyYellows Andrew Swift 62 205
4 Hedgehog Corpse FC Nick Smith 64 191
5 Release The Hounds Paul Mitchell 52 186
6 Neil Madrid Neil Strong 67 182
7 Uriah Rennie 2nd XI Neil Greenwood 65 180
7 Shoelace Untied Caroline Strong 52 180
9 Van Damme United P Hawkins 50 180

 

Other teams have closed the gap slightly following last weeks results. Hedgehogs and Naboombu’s may fancy their chances in an all or nothing last ditch transfer blow out in the hope that it might sneak them the last monthly prize and move them up in the final overall rankings.

Every other team should probably just do an all or nothing transfer blow out to try and score as many points as possible. Last days of the season can produce crazy results. Remember the 5-5 draw in Fergie’s last game a few years back? Concentrate more on attack than defence, and avoid Hull and Newcastle. They’re the only two teams who’ll be playing with any nerves, and their games are likely to be the cagiest. The battle to avoid paying in next seasons Europa League is all but over. No matter how hard they try to lose, both Spurs and Southampton will be in the draw if Arsenal win the FA Cup next weekend.

Newsflash…Eden Hazard has poorly teeth. This could open the door for some last minute changes in the final standings. Most teams have him. Reports suggest he won’t play this weekend. Remember it’s Sunday afternoon, so you’ve an extra day to mull it all over.

 

 

Gameweek 37 results

1 Neil Madrid Neil Strong 67 2,122
2 Hedgehog Corpse FC Nick Smith 64 2,085
3 Pescara Rangers Stewart Pope 64 2,082
4 NaboombuDirtyYellows Andrew Swift 62 2,055
5 Shoelace Untied Caroline Strong 52 2,029
6 RayCrawfordsCrackers Rob Hewer 50 2,015
7 Uriah Rennie 2nd XI Neil Greenwood 65 2,004
8 * Your Ad Here * Matthew Hopkins 48 1,997
9 Bermie Utd Glen Davies 57 1,986
10 Gaalatcticos Colin Goulding 44 1,986
11 Van Damme United P Hawkins 50 1,979
12 Upper Bullens Andy Taylor 53 1,967
13 Paris Spinks Germain David Spinks 55 1,951
14 Ciderheads Darren Pope 46 1,933
15 Who R U DEAN CRIPPS 65 1,908
16 Accrington Rudyard Ian Williams 35 1,902
17 Pretty Schitty City Alex Michaluk 34 1,856
18 Rip Roaring Reds Sean Whyton 42 1,851
19 Biscuitmen Chris Morton 51 1,848
20 The Mindless Morons John Seacroft 25 1,817
21 Get to the choppa Mark Bromham 47 1,794
22 Panza Grande XI Stuart Baker 39 1,790
23 Real Jorvik FC Simon Brown 35 1,785
24 Release The Hounds Paul Mitchell 52 1,743
25 Luxembourg United Simon Smallbone 48 1,726
26 No Recognized Plan Paul Bentz 40 1,703
27 Sportingabiggerwig Alex Ritchie 48 1,684
28 Crazylegs XI David Caldicott 14 1,585
29 Jordie’s Giants Jordan Raper 66 1,336

As it turned out no-one was destined to challenge the highest weekly score this week. That the week’s highest scorer was Southampton’s Sadio Mane, and not an Arsenal or Sunderland player tells it’s own story. The Saints’ early season penchant for clean sheets and goal fests appeared to have ended – until they came up against a Villa side with all eyes on the cup final. Mane managed 23 points. He’s the fourth player to achieve that total this season,  and after Dusan Tadic,  the second Southampton player. Yannick Bolasie still holds the weekly score record with the 24 he amassed in gameweek 32.

The only Buckets team to have Mane in their ranks was Uriah’s, yet even that wasn’t enough to win them the manager of the week.  That honour went to Neil Madrid who accumulated 67 points – a total which surely seals the Buckets League Championship for a second time. Those chasing Madrid were unable to close the gap. Pescara moved back ahead of Hedgehog into second and the race for the runners up will go to the final week. Any chance Shoelace or RayCrawfordsCrackers had of catching Naboombu’s in fourth looked to have stalled. A lack of Sunderland defenders did for our fifth and sixth place teams. They posted scores in the fifties compared to our top four who all managed scores in the sixties.

So – yes – Sunderland defenders – that’s where the double gameweek riches were. If you’d have taken a punt on Pantillimon, Van Aanholt and Billy Jones you’d have had a head start of 43 points. Their two 0-0 draws secured their status for next season. Sebastian Coates and John O’Shea would have added 13 and 12 respectively. Of the double gameweekers it was those five players – and not Sanchez, Cazorla, Giroud etc who triumphed. The only Arsenal players to make double figures were Laurent Koscielny and Hector Bellerin. No midfielder or attacker from either team got anywhere near. The only player to score for either team was Theo Walcott – and that probably should have gone down as a Tyler Blackett own goal.

 

Player of the week – Sadio Mane – 23 points. A record breaking three minute hat trick.

Bargain of the week – Shane Long – 18 points. Plus goal of the week…see below

Donkey of the week – Cesc Fabregas – -2 points. Unfortunately, no bonus for funniest sending of in history.

Goal of the week – Shane Long. A beauty. 35 seconds in.

Gameweek 35 results

1 Neil Madrid Neil Strong 44 1,984
2 Hedgehog Corpse FC Nick Smith 61 1,955
3 Pescara Rangers Stewart Pope 41 1,946
4 NaboombuDirtyYellows Andrew Swift 69 1,919
5 Shoelace Untied Caroline Strong 63 1,912
6 RayCrawfordsCrackers Rob Hewer 50 1,897
7 * Your Ad Here * Matthew Hopkins 43 1,889
8 Upper Bullens Andy Taylor 52 1,870
9 Uriah Rennie 2nd XI Neil Greenwood 33 1,857
10 Gaalatcticos Colin Goulding 45 1,855
11 Van Damme United P Hawkins 55 1,854
12 Bermie Utd Glen Davies 71 1,841
13 Ciderheads Darren Pope 46 1,813
14 Paris Spinks Germain David Spinks 68 1,808
15 Accrington Rudyard Ian Williams 56 1,801
16 Pretty Schitty City Alex Michaluk 44 1,785
17 Who R U DEAN CRIPPS 52 1,785
18 Biscuitmen Chris Morton 43 1,773
19 Rip Roaring Reds Sean Whyton 47 1,746
20 The Mindless Morons John Seacroft 47 1,739
21 Panza Grande XI Stuart Baker 37 1,704
22 Get to the choppa Mark Bromham 46 1,696
23 Real Jorvik FC Simon Brown 53 1,668
24 Luxembourg United Simon Smallbone 31 1,641
25 No Recognized Plan Paul Bentz 43 1,628
26 Release The Hounds Paul Mitchell 52 1,609
27 Sportingabiggerwig Alex Ritchie 34 1,608
28 Crazylegs XI David Caldicott 42 1,542
29 Jordie’s Giants Jordan Raper 34 1,251

 

In a week full of sendings off and missed penalties, Chelsea finally got their parked bus over the line to become Champions of England for the first time in five years. They’ve won it with three games to spare, largely due to the failings of other teams at various points in the season. A better start by Arsenal or a better finish by City may have made the season end a little more interesting. But, their players do dominate the fantasy player charts. Six Chelsea names appear on that first page. Eden Hazard is comfortably ahead as the season’s highest scoring player and best midfielder, with Cesc Fabregas fourth for that position. John Terry and Branislav Ivanovic have justified their hefty price tags and are the leading defenders. And if it weren’t for his dodgy hamstrings and the odd moment of madness, Diego Costa would probably be challenging to be top striker.

Meanwhile, in our little league…

Bermie United finish the week as the highest scorers. Their 71 points establishes them in 12th position, which may e a little too far to push for a top four place, although it’s not completely out of the question. The key to any drastic position changes in these last few weeks will probably come in double gameweek 37.

The lead at the top has been cut slightly. Neil Madrid lead Hedgehog Corpse by 29 points. Madrid had a poor-ish week. Hedgehog, Naboombu’s and Shoelace all scored around 20 more points than the leaders. Two more weeks like that could see a change at the top, although it’s unlikely that the leaders are going to drop out of the top four. Hedgehog and Pescara could pretty much guarantee some prize money by equalling or bettering the performances of those teams down as far as seventh in the next gameweek. *Your Ad Here* in seventh are the last team with a realistic chance of nicking a fourth place finish. The 49 points that Upper Bullens would have to make up might be a step too far. But you never know – it’s all about gameweek 37.

 

Player of the week – Boaz Myhill – 17 points. The cheapest first choice keeper in the game puts in another good performance.

Bargain of the week – Jordi Gomez – 15 points. Two pens to raise Sunderland hopes.

Donkey of the week – Daryl Janmaat – -2 points. At last. Somehow Newcastle players have managed to avoid this award over the last few weeks – until now.

Goal of the week – Tom Cleverley. The goal that might have saved the Villa. At 2m12s

 

Gameweek 30 results

1 Neil Madrid Neil Strong 91 1,689
2 Hedgehog Corpse FC Nick Smith 96 1,644
3 Uriah Rennie 2nd XI Neil Greenwood 90 1,624
4 Pescara Rangers Stewart Pope 67 1,623
5 Shoelace Untied Caroline Strong 82 1,622
6 NaboombuDirtyYellows Andrew Swift 41 1,610
7 Upper Bullens Andy Taylor 83 1,608
8 * Your Ad Here * Matthew Hopkins 84 1,605
8 Gaalatcticos Colin Goulding 100 1,605
10 RayCrawfordsCrackers Rob Hewer 87 1,601
11 Ciderheads Darren Pope 63 1,580
12 Bermie Utd Glen Davies 51 1,547
13 Accrington Rudyard Ian Williams 84 1,540
14 Who R U DEAN CRIPPS 83 1,534
15 Van Damme United P Hawkins 64 1,533
16 Paris Spinks Germain David Spinks 73 1,529
17 Pretty Schitty City Alex Michaluk 48 1,525
18 Biscuitmen Chris Morton 60 1,523
19 The Mindless Morons John Seacroft 80 1,489
20 Panza Grande XI Stuart Baker 82 1,488
21 Rip Roaring Reds Sean Whyton 79 1,476
22 Get to the choppa Mark Bromham 78 1,458
23 No Recognized Plan Paul Bentz 83 1,437
24 Luxembourg United Simon Smallbone 76 1,408
25 Real Jorvik FC Simon Brown 31 1,399
26 Sportingabiggerwig Alex Ritchie 69 1,376
27 Release The Hounds Paul Mitchell 60 1,363
28 Crazylegs XI David Caldicott 73 1,284
29 Jordie’s Giants Jordan Raper 31 1,088

A plethora of high sores this week, thanks to some big points from the game’s in form and most owned players. Harry Kane top scored again. Kane’s stats are becoming more and more Last-seasons-Luis-Suarez-like with each passing week. Bear in mind he didn’t start being picked regularly until gameweek 11, so most other players have had a third of a season head start. Only Eden Hazard can really compete with his numbers. This weekend Kane’s 17 points were his seventh double figure score of the season. Hazard equals that. Kane also picked up three bonus points for the eight time. Hazard can better that by one week. But – that’s having played 698 minutes more – the equivalent of nearly eight full matches. There are 17 points difference in the two players scores. In recent weeks Kane has caught and overtaken the totals of Sergio Aguero and Diego Costa. He’s equalled Alexis Sanchez this week. It’s only a matter of time before he starts to challenge Hazard for player of the season at his current scoring rate.

NaboombuDirtyYellows don’t have Harry Kane in their team – and it shows. Only 41 points posted this week – that’s less than half the totals of most of the rest of the top 10. Having been a permanent fixture in the top two since gameweek 16, NDY’s now find themselves in 6th. Neil Madrid remain top, now with a 45 point lead over their closest challengers, Hedgehog Corpse. Hedgegog’s 96 points was the second highest total of the week. Uriah’s also notched 90+ and edge into third. Gaalacticos added 100 points to their total to move into eighth and win the manager of the week. Shoelace held on to win the March monthly award by a single point. They’re the only team to win two monthly awards so far this season.

1 Shoelace Untied Caroline Strong 82 227
2 Uriah Rennie 2nd XI Neil Greenwood 90 226
3 Hedgehog Corpse FC Nick Smith 96 222
4 Neil Madrid Neil Strong 91 217
5 Gaalatcticos Colin Goulding 100 216
6 Accrington Rudyard Ian Williams 84 215
7 * Your Ad Here * Matthew Hopkins 84 214
8 No Recognized Plan Paul Bentz 83 209
9 Who R U DEAN CRIPPS 83 208
10 Rip Roaring Reds Sean Whyton 79 205

Shoelace’s 82 points wasn’t enough to keep them in the Bucket’s Cup. Who R U edged them out by a single point and will meet Accrington Rudyard in the semi finals. That’s 13th against 14th. In the other semi final tie Neil Madrid and Hedgehog Corpse will battle it out, having overcome the challenges of *YourAd Here* and No Recognised Plan in their quarter final matches. That’s 1st against 2nd.

A double gameweek has been sprung upon us in gameweek 31. We’ve got a fortnight to sweat over which Aston Villa and/or QPR players to bring into our teams, before finally realising that it’s not really worth it on either count, as we have an international break to contend with.

Player of the week – Harry Kane – 17 points. See above stat attack.

Bargain of the week – Fernando – 14 points. Scoring the points Aguero should be scoring.

Donkey of the week – Steven Gerrard – -2 points. I’m over ruling the fact that Gareth MacAuley has -3 points for a red card he should never have received. It’ll be rescinded. This chump, however, deserved everything he got.

Goal of the week – Juan Mata. Has barely featured of late – you’ve got to wonder why?!