May Manager of the Month – Pretty Schitty City – Alex Michaluk – 188 points

Not a bad two weeks work for PSC scoring almost as much as the leading manager for August and October, both of which were three gameweek months. Having a double gameweek and the usually bonkers final gameweek always helps provide a high score. Their monthly triumph has been largely helped by a mini-resurgence in Leicester’s fortunes and Mahrez and Vardy posting big scores for the final two weeks. Leicester aren’t on the beach anymore. They’ve been on holiday and come back.

1  up Pretty Schitty City
Alex Michaluk
85 188
2  up Your Ad Here
Matthew Hopkins
88 180
3  down It’sOnlyAGameFarke!
David Spinks
66 178
4  down Pure Buffoonery!
Jitesh Lakhani
54 170
5  same Klopp of the Pochs
Jason Earwicker
58 160
6  up Neil Madrid
Neil Strong
84 160
6  up Despicable Mee
Trevor Gordon
67 160

Manager of the week – Your Ad Here – Matthew Hopkins – 88 points

YAH finished second in the May table trailing PSC by eight points. They opted to wildcard in GW36 and bench boost in GW37, probably with one eye on pushing for the last available monthly award, and maybe the highest weekly score prize too. Their week winning score came without Mo Salah, but with equally as effective contributions from four end-of-season form horses, Marko Arnautovic, Wilfried Zaha, Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang and Ayoze Perez. All backed up a long overdue Harry Kane brace, but weren’t quite enough to pinch the monthly award.

Player of the week – Andrew Robertson – 18 points

A goal, assist, clean sheet and top bonus marks. The full house from the Liverpool full back was matched by Patrick Van Aanholt for Palace, but Robertson did it all for £0.2 million less. It makes all the difference. He’ll be much sought after next season.

Bargain of the week – Ayoze Perez – 13 points

Ending the season with a flourish, this is Perez’s second bargain player award in the last two months and his third double figure score in the same period. It was achieved with his fifth and sixth goals in his last eight games. And he’s meant to be on the beach.

Twat of the week – Christian Fuchs – -2 points

Scoring an own goal in the craziest scoring game of the day was never going to help anyone hoping to keep their head above water. Fuchs dipped into the minus scores after a shot destined for a thrown-in rebounded off his knee and into the net. Leicester defenders have been a no go area all season, much like they always have been, even when they’re winning the league.

Goal of the week – Kelechi Iheanacho. 1m47s

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Gameweek 38 results

May 23, 2017

up The Craggy Islanders
Adrian Roche
85 2315
down When Harry met Alli
Trevor Gordon
80 2312
same Aquamar 15
Noel Driver
77 2274
up Kebab Eaters Utd
Paul Howard
110 2255
down Edgbaston
Micheal Dinneen
87 2238
up FC Caligula
Ajay Supeda
91 2221
up Hedgehog Corpse FC
Nick Smith
91 2215
down RICO UNITED
JASON REACHER
70 2208
same Uriah Rennie 2nd XI
Neil Greenwood
97 2175
10  same To Elland Back
Alan Hardy
84 2161
11  same Neil Madrid
Neil Strong
97 2157
12  same Atlético Chappers
Richard Chapman
75 2134
13  same INIT FC
Mustafa khan
76 2123
14  same Your Ad Here
Matthew Hopkins
80 2114
15  up nO fucHs given
Paul Callaghan
90 2107
16  down Rip Roaring Reds
Sean Whyton
80 2100
17  up Hucking Fell
P Hawkins
94 2093
18  down Biscuitmen
Chris Morton
77 2090
19  down Go Buffoons Go
Jitesh Lakhani
66 2076
20  up QUEEN OF THE NORTH
DORINE REACHER
76 2066
21  down Jeff Lamp’s Porsche
David Spinks
61 2063
22  up Yeboah’s Right Foot
Paul Murray
78 2051
23  down Cooksters
Peter Cook
66 2044
24  down Joey Bosa
Paul Bentz
51 2027
25  up 4 Fuchs Ake
Jason Earwicker
62 2024
26  up Jarvis FC
Matt Jarvis
100 2021
27  same Upper Bullens
Andy Taylor
76 2017
28  down greenyteamy
adam greenwood
49 2016
29  down Shoelace Untied
Caroline Strong
80 2008
30  up jetty city
scott mcgow
73 1979
31  down Have a little dink
Ian Williams
73 1977
32  same romeoshondavan
Rob Hewer
74 1968
33  same RG XV
Ryan Garoghan
77 1960
34  same Golden Boys
Stephanie Cripps
89 1958
35  up FTM
Stu Smith
92 1930
36  down 30:19
Darren Lavelle
66 1907
37  up Pudding And Pie
John Seacroft
68 1871
38  up I am not Zlatan
Colin Goulding
67 1869
39  up Ciderheads
Darren Pope
68 1868
40  down Release The Hounds
Paul Mitchell
44 1866
41  same Dj daz
darren frankland
74 1857
42  same Crazy Legs XI
David Caldicott
65 1843
43  same Bakerlona
Stuart Baker
68 1822
44  up Pepe Le Blue
DEAN CRIPPS
79 1821
45  down Real Jorvik
Simon Brown
57 1810
46  same Big White Chiefs
david frankland
43 1742
47  same Pretty Schitty City
Alex Michaluk
40 1714
48  same Bermie Utd
Glen Davies
56 1705
49  up Jarv88
Paul Jarvis
71 1656
50  down Bish Bosh Goal
Simon Purnell
54 1655
51  down bazza 28 united
laura barrett
49 1645
52  same DJ’s Trail Blazers
Danian Jones
55 1638
53  same Racing Club Skegness
Andrew Swift
59 1635

A typically crazy last week in which the Buckets league clocked up another couple of century scores. I’m pretty sure this season has seen more 100+ totals by our managers than any other. I suppose it helps there being 53 of us.

And all you had to do was concentrate on the top five. They scored 23 goals between them. The fixtures had fallen very kindly. As expected, Manchester City walloped Watford, Chelsea thumped Sunderland, Spurs annihilated Hull and Liverpool comfortably despatched of Boro. Even Arsenal, arguably with the trickiest tie, managed to hit three past Everton with ten men.

The four goals Harry Kane hit against Leicester on Thursday convinced many of us to go with him as captain. A simple choice – totally justified. His 17 points made him player of the week for the second week running and for the third time in total. Any combination of this supporting cast of usual suspects – Aguero, Hazard, Coutinho, Sanchez, Alli, De Bruyne, Pedro, Lallana, Jesus, Eriksen (the list goes on) – pretty much guaranteed you your 80+ score.

Kebab Eaters won the week, and fittingly, their 110 points was enough to see them jump into fourth place in the final table and claim the last cash prize. They pipped Edgbaston, who finished 5th for a second consecutive year. They should take some consolation in the fact they clinched the May manager of the month prize. Their record breaking total from last week virtually guaranteed the award, and despite the 87 points they achieved this week not being enough to hang onto fourth, it was more than enough to earn them a place on the role of honour. Here’s the May table…

same Edgbaston
Micheal Dinneen
87 355
same FC Caligula
Ajay Supeda
91 336
up Kebab Eaters Utd
Paul Howard
110 331
down When Harry met Alli
Trevor Gordon
80 329
same nO fucHs given
Paul Callaghan
90 329
down The Craggy Islanders
Adrian Roche
85 325
down Neil Madrid
Neil Strong
97 324

Player of the week – Harry Kane – 17 points. Pretty much guarantees his most valuable player status for next season.

Bargain of the week – Geoff Cameron – 12 points. Er!

Donkey of the week – Laurent Koscielny – -2 points. What was he thinking?

Goal of the week – Aaron Ramsey. Probably the first thing he’s done all season.

Gameweek 38 results

May 17, 2016

1 FC Caligula Ajay Supeda 48 2,261
2 The Kolarov Mané Trevor Gordon 76 2,245
3 Your Ad Here Matthew Hopkins 37 2,234
4 Shoelace Untied Caroline Strong 57 2,215
5 Edgbaston Micheal Dinneen 64 2,210
6 Rocky Ba Bauer P Hawkins 38 2,190
7 Game of Throw ins Darren Lavelle 42 2,162
8 Golden Boys Stephanie Cripps 41 2,158
9 Init fc Mustafa khan 65 2,149
10 Walking with Memphis Noel Driver 86 2,148
11 Atlético Chappers Richard Chapman 55 2,124
12 Sergio Five O DEAN CRIPPS 55 2,101
13 JonniestaRedmondinho David Spinks 39 2,086
14 Neil Madrid Neil Strong 59 2,082
15 Bicuitmen Chris Morton 35 2,074
16 4 Lime Jellies Ian Williams 41 2,068
17 SS3 FC Paul Murray 44 2,055
18 scotty2hotty scott mcgow 47 2,054
19 The Craggy Islanders Adrian Roche 52 2,053
20 Howayman Mark Bromham 38 2,052
21 Hedgehog Corpse FC Nick Smith 38 2,036
22 Gaalacticos Colin Goulding 41 2,024
23 Grievous AngelRangel Andrew Swift 37 2,016
24 Uriah Rennie 2nd XI Neil Greenwood 42 2,005
25 Pretty Schitty City Alex Michaluk 26 1,993
26 Romeo’s Honda Van Rob Hewer 15 1,990
27 Bermie Utd Glen Davies 32 1,983
28 Rip Roaring Reds Sean Whyton 47 1,957
29 Below Par Paul Bentz 32 1,945
30 Panza Grande XI Stuart Baker 36 1,943
31 RICO UNITED JASON REACHER 54 1,936
32 greensmeansbusiness adam greenwood 16 1,928
33 The Mindless Morons John Seacroft 29 1,905
34 The Hardy Boys Alan Hardy 42 1,902
35 Release The Hounds Paul Mitchell 49 1,883
36 Upper Bullens Andy Taylor 47 1,872
37 Sweet Cherry Pie Jason Earwicker 21 1,870
38 Go Buffoons Go!!! Jitesh Lakhani 39 1,801
39 Crazy Legs XI David Caldicott 27 1,792
40 Ciderheads Darren Pope 56 1,783
41 Baker Bum Boys Lewis Baker 27 1,781
42 Bish Bosh Goal Simon Purnell 31 1,578
43 REAL JORVIK Simon Brown 45 1,553
44 BrussiaHairbach Alex Ritchie 38 1,439

 

We’ve a lot to thank Villa for this season. Being so unquestionably bad has helped many of us in our quest for points, not least this last weekend in which they came up against Arsenal. Arsenal’s one surviving forward, Olivier Giroud, expectedly scored big, and as a result of being handed the armband by Edgbaston, helped them to manager of the month prize.

1 Edgbaston Micheal Dinneen 64 178
2 Walking with Memphis Noel Driver 86 177
3 Init fc Mustafa khan 65 167

 

The picture was very different one minute before the end of last night’s game however. That award belonged to Walking With Memphis, who also had the foresight to give Giroud the captaincy. Then up popped Chris Smalling to score…in his own net. It left Memphis 10 points worse off – and then the final whistle went. Memphis did pick up their third manager of the week award, but you don’t win anything for that. Not this season at least. Sorry Memphis. The 86 points accrued came largely from Giroud’s hat trick performance, but Leighton Baines and Sadio Mane also added double figure scores.

Edgbaston may have held off Memphis in the manager of the month race, but they were unable to prevent Shoelace from claiming fourth place in the final standings. The only change in the top four from last week was The Kolarov Mane and Your Ad Here’s switch. Your Ad Here went all Spurs with a major last week wobble. The only thing that would have seen Your Ad Here jump back into second was a performance of the season from Simon Francis. Edgbaston had sneaked ahead of Shoelace before last night’s game, but it looked unlikely that position would hold. With or without the Smalling own goal, Shoelace were always going to finish fourth.

 

Player of the week – Olivier Giroud – 17 points. Sneaking second.

Bargain of the week – Daryl Janmaat – 13 points. Too little…etc etc

Donkey of the week – Mark Bunn – -1 points. Aptly Villa.

Goal of the week – James McCarthy. Terrible video. The first goal.

 

 

 

 

 

 

A preamble. We’ve still not had the Manchester United v Bournemouth game. The most disorganised club in Europe it appears have left everyone hanging. Places are still to be settled at the top of the Buckets table. I suppose it’s exciting, although I don’t think there’s anything that can stop Caligula being crowned champions. They’re awaiting a score for Chris Smalling as well as a point from Aaron Cresswell who will replace Dimitri Payet once substitutions are activated.

The Kolarov Mane have climbed into second but can’t go any higher. Your Ad Here are 14 points further back with Simon Francis on the bench. Unless the Bournemouth captain gets in among the goals and keeps a clean sheet on Tuesday night, third is as high as they can hope for. That seems pretty much nailed on as Edgbaston are 25 points further back and with only Manuel Lanzini to come in after substitutions and David De Gea to play.

There is a battle for fourth. Shoelace sit in fifth, three points behind Edgbaston with Chris Smalling and Anthony Martial to play. A goal for either of those should be enough, providing of course they stay on the pitch. Or even get on the pitch in the first place. Might Van Gaal rest players now?

Unfortunately for Rocky Ba Bauer, now in 6th, it appears to be out of reach.

If Edgbaston lose the fourth place spot, they may have the May manager of the month award to fall back on. They currently lead Init FC by nine points. Init probably need Chris Smalling to score to overhaul the lead. Walking With Memphis, however, three points further back, and 12 behind Edgbaston, have Smalling, Antonio Valencia and Anthony Martial to play. LVG playing the kids might be the only thing that keeps Memphis (and Shoelace) from toppling Edgbaston.

Full weekly round up will arrive sometime Wednesday I expect.

 

Gameweek 37 results

May 12, 2016

1 FC Caligula Ajay Supeda 84 2,217
2 Your Ad Here Matthew Hopkins 76 2,201
3 The Kolarov Mané Trevor Gordon 69 2,177
4 Shoelace Untied Caroline Strong 69 2,158
5 Rocky Ba Bauer P Hawkins 50 2,156
6 Edgbaston Micheal Dinneen 114 2,146
7 Game of Throw ins Darren Lavelle 93 2,120
8 Golden Boys Stephanie Cripps 61 2,117
9 Init fc Mustafa khan 110 2,092
10 Walking with Memphis Noel Driver 99 2,070
11 Atlético Chappers Richard Chapman 68 2,069
12 JonniestaRedmondinho David Spinks 97 2,051
13 Sergio Five O DEAN CRIPPS 41 2,046
14 Bicuitmen Chris Morton 65 2,039
15 4 Lime Jellies Ian Williams 59 2,035
16 Neil Madrid Neil Strong 95 2,027
17 Howayman Mark Bromham 66 2,014
18 SS3 FC Paul Murray 47 2,011
19 scotty2hotty scott mcgow 55 2,007
20 The Craggy Islanders Adrian Roche 80 2,005
21 Hedgehog Corpse FC Nick Smith 80 2,002
22 Gaalacticos Colin Goulding 80 1,987
23 Grievous AngelRangel Andrew Swift 62 1,979
24 Romeo’s Honda Van Rob Hewer 62 1,975
25 Pretty Schitty City Alex Michaluk 41 1,967
26 Uriah Rennie 2nd XI Neil Greenwood 86 1,963
27 Bermie Utd Glen Davies 52 1,951
28 Below Par Paul Bentz 53 1,913
29 greensmeansbusiness adam greenwood 52 1,912
30 Rip Roaring Reds Sean Whyton 88 1,910
31 Panza Grande XI Stuart Baker 50 1,907
32 RICO UNITED JASON REACHER 79 1,882
33 The Mindless Morons John Seacroft 69 1,876
34 The Hardy Boys Alan Hardy 56 1,860
35 Sweet Cherry Pie Jason Earwicker 72 1,849
36 Release The Hounds Paul Mitchell 63 1,834
37 Upper Bullens Andy Taylor 44 1,825
38 Crazy Legs XI David Caldicott 92 1,765
39 Go Buffoons Go!!! Jitesh Lakhani 71 1,762
40 Baker Bum Boys Lewis Baker 52 1,754
41 Ciderheads Darren Pope 58 1,727
42 Bish Bosh Goal Simon Purnell 47 1,547
43 REAL JORVIK Simon Brown 32 1,508
44 BrussiaHairbach Alex Ritchie 51 1,401

 

There were more goals scored in this gameweek than there were in the other monster double gameweek of a few weeks ago but Buckets totals weren’t as high. Probably due to the fact that the highest scoring players of the week came from Norwich and Sunderland, and not from West Ham and Manchester United, as I think most people expected. The popular choices for (triple) captain seemed to be Dimitri Payet and Anthony Martial. They didn’t disappoint necessarily, but a punt on Lamine Kone – and it would have been one hell of a punt – would have bagged you a potential 63 points.

Still, we had some 100+ scores. Kudos to Init FC and Edgbaston with 110 and a week winning 114 points respectively. Edgbaston triple captained Jermain Defoe, and picked up another 18 points from Patrick Van Aanholt, capitalising on Sunderland’s dominant week. Seven other double gameweekers and useful single game scores from Kevin De Bruyne and Sergio Aguero did the trick .

Init bench boosted to good effect, picking up an extra 23 points. Their choice of captain let them down. Andy Carroll only contributed six points. They also had Defoe and Van Aanholt. A captaincy punt on either of them would have made them clear weekly winners.

…And put them in pole position for the May manager of the month. Two weeks worth of scores decide it. Here’s the table as it stands – basically this week’s highest scorers…

1 Edgbaston Micheal Dinneen 114 114
2 Init fc Mustafa khan 110 110
3 Walking with Memphis Noel Driver 99 99
4 JonniestaRedmondinho David Spinks 97 97
5 Neil Madrid Neil Strong 95 95
6 Game of Throw ins Darren Lavelle 93 93
7 Crazy Legs XI David Caldicott 92 92

 

Should Init win it they’ll be the only team to pick up two monthly awards, having also taken the September prize.

 

1 FC Caligula Ajay Supeda 84 2,217
2 Your Ad Here Matthew Hopkins 76 2,201
3 The Kolarov Mané Trevor Gordon 69 2,177
4 Shoelace Untied Caroline Strong 69 2,158
5 Rocky Ba Bauer P Hawkins 50 2,156
6 Edgbaston Micheal Dinneen 114 2,146
7 Game of Throw ins Darren Lavelle 93 2,120
8 Golden Boys Stephanie Cripps 61 2,117

As we go into the final week it’s still too close to call. Caligula have extended their lead over Your Ad Here to 16 points. The two teams have been trading blows at the top for the last few months. No sooner do YAH get back to within spitting distance, than Caligula pull away the following week. The Kolarov Mane are 24 points further back, and who knows, maybe still in contention themselves for the top spot. That is probably just out of reach for Shoelace, who will also have to be careful of Rocky Ba Bauer, Edgbaston, Game of Throw Ins and long time leaders, Golden Boys, who all realistically have a chance of at least fourth place.

 

Player of the week – Lamine Kone – 21 points. Keeping them in the Premier League.

Bargain of the week – Andy King – 13 points. Another Leicester weekly award – they’ve had the most.

Donkey of the week – John Terry – -2 points. The last we’ll see of him. Possibly

Goal of the week – Eden Hazard. What a prick. Obviously realised he needs to play to get a move.

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