Gameweek 38 and May Manager of the Month

1  same The Craggy Islanders
Adrian Roche
64 2448
2  same But Da Pitch Ain’t 1
Trev Reams
63 2406
3  same Perfidious Albion
Andrew Swift
55 2381
4  same Neil Madrid
Neil Strong
62 2344
5  same Bielsa Ringing
Alan Hardy
63 2323
6  same FC Caligula
Ajay Supeda
58 2314
7  same INIT FC
Mustafa khan
71 2269
8  same Shoelace Untied
Caroline Strong
69 2259
9  up Game of Stones
Ryan Garoghan
70 2219
10  down Rip Roaring Reds
Sean Whyton
40 2218
11  down Edgbaston
Micheal Dinneen
59 2216
12  same FTM
Stu Smith
67 2190
13  same Aribo Haribo
Paul Hawkins
56 2171
14  up Pretty Schitty City
Alex Michaluk
78 2163
15  down Nashton Villa
Jaime Nash
51 2150
16  down Upper Bullens
Andy Taylor
49 2144
17  up King raggg
Steven Darling
68 2144
18  down Frostee Rucker
Paul Bentz
53 2137
19  same Kebab Eaters Utd
Paul Howard
59 2122
20  same Salah Buffoon!!!
Jitesh Lakhani
51 2113
21  same Deeney in a Bottle
Stephanie Cripps
49 2104
22  up Cookie fc
Peter Cook
45 2091
23  down Mour Salt and Pep
Noel Driver
36 2086
24  up Crazy Leg XI
David Caldicott
68 2080
25  up RICO UNITED
JASON REACHER
73 2068
26  up Fake Madrid
Andrew Wade
72 2067
27  up SLABHEAD FC
Adam Burnett
80 2063
28  down Dinamo Spinks
David Spinks
39 2060
29  down Musttryharder fc
Paul Telford
44 2047
30  down Need son luck
Matt Jarvis
48 2042
31  up Kompany & Co
DEAN CRIPPS
63 2037
32  down PenshawPerformers
david bruce
39 2031
33  up The Big Lewandowski
Paul Callaghan
77 2025
34  same Real Jorvik
Simon Brown
68 2013
35  up Dropit like its Hart
Jason Earwicker
65 1999
36  up Hemel Hotspurs
Paul Jarvis
67 1999
37  up Atlético Chappers
Richard Chapman
93 1998
38  down Your Ad Here
Matthew Hopkins
31 1995
39  same Puddle Splash Van
Ian Williams
88 1995
40  up QUEEN OF THE NORTH
DORINE REACHER
76 1978
41  down Greeeenteeam
adam greenwood
53 1964
42  same El Loco No Joko
Paul Murray
61 1962
43  same It’s coming home
scott mcgow
68 1961
44  same Pique Blinders
Colin Goulding
60 1934
45  same Hoose Reus
James Whitfield
52 1924
46  same Morningblues
Jeff Morning
58 1901
47  same romeoshondavan
Rob Hewer
55 1876
48  same ClipityKlopptotitle
tanya thursby
66 1871
49  same The Mindless Morons
John Seacroft
56 1796
50  same Ross’s champions
darren frankland
60 1714

 

May Manager of the Month – Queen of the North – Dorine Reacher – 76 points

The two week sprint to become May manager of the month was won by Queen of the North. Despite racking up some big totals over the season and winning three weekly awards (the joint highest), consistency was lacking. They won by a point, playing their free hit and bench boost in the last two weeks. A curious decision which only just worked.

Manager of the week – Atletico Chappers – Richard Chapman – 93 points

Chappers’ season panned out in a similar fashion to QOTN’s. Occasional mega totals were lost in among a sea of guff. This is also their third weekly triumph. They challenged for the highest weekly score prize with a 121 point total in GW35 and won the February manager of the month off the back of an 86 point haul in GW27 – the 1,226th best score in the world that week. Chappers regularly jumped a million in rank one week only to plummet back to where they started the next.

Player of the week – Nathaniel Mendez-Laing – Cardiff City – 16 points

Only 3,002 players benefited from Mendez-Laing’s weekly high in the entire game. He claims Cardiff’s fourth weekly player accolade, two more than the “team” they beat this week, Manchester United. In fact, United only managed two player awards, joint equal lowest with Fulham and Huddersfield. Cardiff went down on a deserved high given the tragedy that beset them earlier in the season.

Bargain of the week – Fabian Schar – Newcastle United – 15 points

Schar’s third player award – one more than Manchester United. An impressive return for a cut price Newcastle defender who only played two thirds of the season’s games. Newcastle were on the right side of a typical GW38 thumping with the Swiss scoring, keeping a clean sheet and collecting top bonus.

Twat of the week – Jose Holebas – Watford – -4 points

Picked up the first twat of last season and the last of this – plus a few more in between I think. This list isn’t complete without an appearance from Jose. Well done son. You made it.

Goal of the week – Jefferson Lerma. Screamer 1m48s.

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Gameweek 38 results and May manager of the month

May Manager of the Month – Pretty Schitty City – Alex Michaluk – 188 points

Not a bad two weeks work for PSC scoring almost as much as the leading manager for August and October, both of which were three gameweek months. Having a double gameweek and the usually bonkers final gameweek always helps provide a high score. Their monthly triumph has been largely helped by a mini-resurgence in Leicester’s fortunes and Mahrez and Vardy posting big scores for the final two weeks. Leicester aren’t on the beach anymore. They’ve been on holiday and come back.

1  up Pretty Schitty City
Alex Michaluk
85 188
2  up Your Ad Here
Matthew Hopkins
88 180
3  down It’sOnlyAGameFarke!
David Spinks
66 178
4  down Pure Buffoonery!
Jitesh Lakhani
54 170
5  same Klopp of the Pochs
Jason Earwicker
58 160
6  up Neil Madrid
Neil Strong
84 160
6  up Despicable Mee
Trevor Gordon
67 160

Manager of the week – Your Ad Here – Matthew Hopkins – 88 points

YAH finished second in the May table trailing PSC by eight points. They opted to wildcard in GW36 and bench boost in GW37, probably with one eye on pushing for the last available monthly award, and maybe the highest weekly score prize too. Their week winning score came without Mo Salah, but with equally as effective contributions from four end-of-season form horses, Marko Arnautovic, Wilfried Zaha, Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang and Ayoze Perez. All backed up a long overdue Harry Kane brace, but weren’t quite enough to pinch the monthly award.

Player of the week – Andrew Robertson – 18 points

A goal, assist, clean sheet and top bonus marks. The full house from the Liverpool full back was matched by Patrick Van Aanholt for Palace, but Robertson did it all for £0.2 million less. It makes all the difference. He’ll be much sought after next season.

Bargain of the week – Ayoze Perez – 13 points

Ending the season with a flourish, this is Perez’s second bargain player award in the last two months and his third double figure score in the same period. It was achieved with his fifth and sixth goals in his last eight games. And he’s meant to be on the beach.

Twat of the week – Christian Fuchs – -2 points

Scoring an own goal in the craziest scoring game of the day was never going to help anyone hoping to keep their head above water. Fuchs dipped into the minus scores after a shot destined for a thrown-in rebounded off his knee and into the net. Leicester defenders have been a no go area all season, much like they always have been, even when they’re winning the league.

Goal of the week – Kelechi Iheanacho. 1m47s

Gameweek 38 results

up The Craggy Islanders
Adrian Roche
85 2315
down When Harry met Alli
Trevor Gordon
80 2312
same Aquamar 15
Noel Driver
77 2274
up Kebab Eaters Utd
Paul Howard
110 2255
down Edgbaston
Micheal Dinneen
87 2238
up FC Caligula
Ajay Supeda
91 2221
up Hedgehog Corpse FC
Nick Smith
91 2215
down RICO UNITED
JASON REACHER
70 2208
same Uriah Rennie 2nd XI
Neil Greenwood
97 2175
10  same To Elland Back
Alan Hardy
84 2161
11  same Neil Madrid
Neil Strong
97 2157
12  same Atlético Chappers
Richard Chapman
75 2134
13  same INIT FC
Mustafa khan
76 2123
14  same Your Ad Here
Matthew Hopkins
80 2114
15  up nO fucHs given
Paul Callaghan
90 2107
16  down Rip Roaring Reds
Sean Whyton
80 2100
17  up Hucking Fell
P Hawkins
94 2093
18  down Biscuitmen
Chris Morton
77 2090
19  down Go Buffoons Go
Jitesh Lakhani
66 2076
20  up QUEEN OF THE NORTH
DORINE REACHER
76 2066
21  down Jeff Lamp’s Porsche
David Spinks
61 2063
22  up Yeboah’s Right Foot
Paul Murray
78 2051
23  down Cooksters
Peter Cook
66 2044
24  down Joey Bosa
Paul Bentz
51 2027
25  up 4 Fuchs Ake
Jason Earwicker
62 2024
26  up Jarvis FC
Matt Jarvis
100 2021
27  same Upper Bullens
Andy Taylor
76 2017
28  down greenyteamy
adam greenwood
49 2016
29  down Shoelace Untied
Caroline Strong
80 2008
30  up jetty city
scott mcgow
73 1979
31  down Have a little dink
Ian Williams
73 1977
32  same romeoshondavan
Rob Hewer
74 1968
33  same RG XV
Ryan Garoghan
77 1960
34  same Golden Boys
Stephanie Cripps
89 1958
35  up FTM
Stu Smith
92 1930
36  down 30:19
Darren Lavelle
66 1907
37  up Pudding And Pie
John Seacroft
68 1871
38  up I am not Zlatan
Colin Goulding
67 1869
39  up Ciderheads
Darren Pope
68 1868
40  down Release The Hounds
Paul Mitchell
44 1866
41  same Dj daz
darren frankland
74 1857
42  same Crazy Legs XI
David Caldicott
65 1843
43  same Bakerlona
Stuart Baker
68 1822
44  up Pepe Le Blue
DEAN CRIPPS
79 1821
45  down Real Jorvik
Simon Brown
57 1810
46  same Big White Chiefs
david frankland
43 1742
47  same Pretty Schitty City
Alex Michaluk
40 1714
48  same Bermie Utd
Glen Davies
56 1705
49  up Jarv88
Paul Jarvis
71 1656
50  down Bish Bosh Goal
Simon Purnell
54 1655
51  down bazza 28 united
laura barrett
49 1645
52  same DJ’s Trail Blazers
Danian Jones
55 1638
53  same Racing Club Skegness
Andrew Swift
59 1635

A typically crazy last week in which the Buckets league clocked up another couple of century scores. I’m pretty sure this season has seen more 100+ totals by our managers than any other. I suppose it helps there being 53 of us.

And all you had to do was concentrate on the top five. They scored 23 goals between them. The fixtures had fallen very kindly. As expected, Manchester City walloped Watford, Chelsea thumped Sunderland, Spurs annihilated Hull and Liverpool comfortably despatched of Boro. Even Arsenal, arguably with the trickiest tie, managed to hit three past Everton with ten men.

The four goals Harry Kane hit against Leicester on Thursday convinced many of us to go with him as captain. A simple choice – totally justified. His 17 points made him player of the week for the second week running and for the third time in total. Any combination of this supporting cast of usual suspects – Aguero, Hazard, Coutinho, Sanchez, Alli, De Bruyne, Pedro, Lallana, Jesus, Eriksen (the list goes on) – pretty much guaranteed you your 80+ score.

Kebab Eaters won the week, and fittingly, their 110 points was enough to see them jump into fourth place in the final table and claim the last cash prize. They pipped Edgbaston, who finished 5th for a second consecutive year. They should take some consolation in the fact they clinched the May manager of the month prize. Their record breaking total from last week virtually guaranteed the award, and despite the 87 points they achieved this week not being enough to hang onto fourth, it was more than enough to earn them a place on the role of honour. Here’s the May table…

same Edgbaston
Micheal Dinneen
87 355
same FC Caligula
Ajay Supeda
91 336
up Kebab Eaters Utd
Paul Howard
110 331
down When Harry met Alli
Trevor Gordon
80 329
same nO fucHs given
Paul Callaghan
90 329
down The Craggy Islanders
Adrian Roche
85 325
down Neil Madrid
Neil Strong
97 324

Player of the week – Harry Kane – 17 points. Pretty much guarantees his most valuable player status for next season.

Bargain of the week – Geoff Cameron – 12 points. Er!

Donkey of the week – Laurent Koscielny – -2 points. What was he thinking?

Goal of the week – Aaron Ramsey. Probably the first thing he’s done all season.

Gameweek 38 results

1 FC Caligula Ajay Supeda 48 2,261
2 The Kolarov Mané Trevor Gordon 76 2,245
3 Your Ad Here Matthew Hopkins 37 2,234
4 Shoelace Untied Caroline Strong 57 2,215
5 Edgbaston Micheal Dinneen 64 2,210
6 Rocky Ba Bauer P Hawkins 38 2,190
7 Game of Throw ins Darren Lavelle 42 2,162
8 Golden Boys Stephanie Cripps 41 2,158
9 Init fc Mustafa khan 65 2,149
10 Walking with Memphis Noel Driver 86 2,148
11 Atlético Chappers Richard Chapman 55 2,124
12 Sergio Five O DEAN CRIPPS 55 2,101
13 JonniestaRedmondinho David Spinks 39 2,086
14 Neil Madrid Neil Strong 59 2,082
15 Bicuitmen Chris Morton 35 2,074
16 4 Lime Jellies Ian Williams 41 2,068
17 SS3 FC Paul Murray 44 2,055
18 scotty2hotty scott mcgow 47 2,054
19 The Craggy Islanders Adrian Roche 52 2,053
20 Howayman Mark Bromham 38 2,052
21 Hedgehog Corpse FC Nick Smith 38 2,036
22 Gaalacticos Colin Goulding 41 2,024
23 Grievous AngelRangel Andrew Swift 37 2,016
24 Uriah Rennie 2nd XI Neil Greenwood 42 2,005
25 Pretty Schitty City Alex Michaluk 26 1,993
26 Romeo’s Honda Van Rob Hewer 15 1,990
27 Bermie Utd Glen Davies 32 1,983
28 Rip Roaring Reds Sean Whyton 47 1,957
29 Below Par Paul Bentz 32 1,945
30 Panza Grande XI Stuart Baker 36 1,943
31 RICO UNITED JASON REACHER 54 1,936
32 greensmeansbusiness adam greenwood 16 1,928
33 The Mindless Morons John Seacroft 29 1,905
34 The Hardy Boys Alan Hardy 42 1,902
35 Release The Hounds Paul Mitchell 49 1,883
36 Upper Bullens Andy Taylor 47 1,872
37 Sweet Cherry Pie Jason Earwicker 21 1,870
38 Go Buffoons Go!!! Jitesh Lakhani 39 1,801
39 Crazy Legs XI David Caldicott 27 1,792
40 Ciderheads Darren Pope 56 1,783
41 Baker Bum Boys Lewis Baker 27 1,781
42 Bish Bosh Goal Simon Purnell 31 1,578
43 REAL JORVIK Simon Brown 45 1,553
44 BrussiaHairbach Alex Ritchie 38 1,439

 

We’ve a lot to thank Villa for this season. Being so unquestionably bad has helped many of us in our quest for points, not least this last weekend in which they came up against Arsenal. Arsenal’s one surviving forward, Olivier Giroud, expectedly scored big, and as a result of being handed the armband by Edgbaston, helped them to manager of the month prize.

1 Edgbaston Micheal Dinneen 64 178
2 Walking with Memphis Noel Driver 86 177
3 Init fc Mustafa khan 65 167

 

The picture was very different one minute before the end of last night’s game however. That award belonged to Walking With Memphis, who also had the foresight to give Giroud the captaincy. Then up popped Chris Smalling to score…in his own net. It left Memphis 10 points worse off – and then the final whistle went. Memphis did pick up their third manager of the week award, but you don’t win anything for that. Not this season at least. Sorry Memphis. The 86 points accrued came largely from Giroud’s hat trick performance, but Leighton Baines and Sadio Mane also added double figure scores.

Edgbaston may have held off Memphis in the manager of the month race, but they were unable to prevent Shoelace from claiming fourth place in the final standings. The only change in the top four from last week was The Kolarov Mane and Your Ad Here’s switch. Your Ad Here went all Spurs with a major last week wobble. The only thing that would have seen Your Ad Here jump back into second was a performance of the season from Simon Francis. Edgbaston had sneaked ahead of Shoelace before last night’s game, but it looked unlikely that position would hold. With or without the Smalling own goal, Shoelace were always going to finish fourth.

 

Player of the week – Olivier Giroud – 17 points. Sneaking second.

Bargain of the week – Daryl Janmaat – 13 points. Too little…etc etc

Donkey of the week – Mark Bunn – -1 points. Aptly Villa.

Goal of the week – James McCarthy. Terrible video. The first goal.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Gameweek 38 results (almost)

A preamble. We’ve still not had the Manchester United v Bournemouth game. The most disorganised club in Europe it appears have left everyone hanging. Places are still to be settled at the top of the Buckets table. I suppose it’s exciting, although I don’t think there’s anything that can stop Caligula being crowned champions. They’re awaiting a score for Chris Smalling as well as a point from Aaron Cresswell who will replace Dimitri Payet once substitutions are activated.

The Kolarov Mane have climbed into second but can’t go any higher. Your Ad Here are 14 points further back with Simon Francis on the bench. Unless the Bournemouth captain gets in among the goals and keeps a clean sheet on Tuesday night, third is as high as they can hope for. That seems pretty much nailed on as Edgbaston are 25 points further back and with only Manuel Lanzini to come in after substitutions and David De Gea to play.

There is a battle for fourth. Shoelace sit in fifth, three points behind Edgbaston with Chris Smalling and Anthony Martial to play. A goal for either of those should be enough, providing of course they stay on the pitch. Or even get on the pitch in the first place. Might Van Gaal rest players now?

Unfortunately for Rocky Ba Bauer, now in 6th, it appears to be out of reach.

If Edgbaston lose the fourth place spot, they may have the May manager of the month award to fall back on. They currently lead Init FC by nine points. Init probably need Chris Smalling to score to overhaul the lead. Walking With Memphis, however, three points further back, and 12 behind Edgbaston, have Smalling, Antonio Valencia and Anthony Martial to play. LVG playing the kids might be the only thing that keeps Memphis (and Shoelace) from toppling Edgbaston.

Full weekly round up will arrive sometime Wednesday I expect.