Gameweek 31 results

1  up Perfidious Albion
Andrew Swift
61 1904
2  down The Craggy Islanders
Adrian Roche
36 1903
3  down But Da Pitch Ain’t 1
Trev Reams
34 1895
4  same Neil Madrid
Neil Strong
27 1829
5  same Shoelace Untied
Caroline Strong
45 1818
6  same Bielsa Ringing
Alan Hardy
56 1813
7  same INIT FC
Mustafa khan
44 1776
8  same FC Caligula
Ajay Supeda
32 1760
9  same FTM
Stu Smith
37 1758
10  same Edgbaston
Micheal Dinneen
27 1734
11  up Deeney in a Bottle
Stephanie Cripps
57 1733
12  up Upper Bullens
Andy Taylor
60 1726
13  up Rip Roaring Reds
Sean Whyton
53 1725
14  down Aribo Haribo
Paul Hawkins
42 1723
15  down Frostee Rucker
Paul Bentz
35 1712
16  down King raggg
Steven Darling
42 1702
49 1679
18  down Cookie fc
Peter Cook
39 1676
19  down Game of Stones
Ryan Garoghan
34 1666
20  up Nashton Villa
Jaime Nash
42 1666
21  down Fake Madrid
Andrew Wade
21 1651
22  up Salah Buffoon!!!
Jitesh Lakhani
35 1648
23  up Dinamo Spinks
David Spinks
43 1647
24  down Kompany & Co
28 1643
25  same Pretty Schitty City
Alex Michaluk
25 1637
26  down SLABHEAD FC
Adam Burnett
14 1633
27  up Musttryharder fc
Paul Telford
55 1631
28  up Need son luck
Matt Jarvis
42 1601
29  up Crazy Leg XI
David Caldicott
24 1598
30  down Mour Salt and Pep
Noel Driver
7 1594
31  up El Loco No Joko
Paul Murray
51 1593
32  down PenshawPerformers
david bruce
10 1591
33  down Kebab Eaters Utd
Paul Howard
22 1588
34  down The Big Lewandowski
Paul Callaghan
38 1587
41 1584
36  up Your Ad Here
Matthew Hopkins
42 1582
37  down Atlético Chappers
Richard Chapman
38 1580
38  down Real Jorvik
Simon Brown
31 1579
39  up Morningblues
Jeff Morning
51 1572
40  down Hemel Hotspurs
Paul Jarvis
33 1567
41  down Pique Blinders
Colin Goulding
32 1553
42  up Dropit like its Hart
Jason Earwicker
33 1545
43  down romeoshondavan
Rob Hewer
29 1543
44  down Greeeenteeam
adam greenwood
22 1536
45  same Hoose Reus
James Whitfield
26 1524
46  up Puddle Splash Van
Ian Williams
50 1516
47  down ClipityKlopptotitle
tanya thursby
22 1492
48  same It’s coming home
scott mcgow
38 1490
49  same The Mindless Morons
John Seacroft
29 1410
50  same Ross’s champions
darren frankland
8 1355


Manager of the week – Perfidious Albion – Andrew Swift – 61 points 

This time last season there were only four matches played in the first reduced gameweek, yet it produced the highest weekly score of 124 points and saw a dozen managers hit triple figures thanks to a four goal blitz from Mo Salah against Watford. Fast forward 12 months and anyone hoping for a similar performance would have been sorely disappointed. The stats were there and surely he’s due one – but there was a much more obvious and sensible captain choice stood on the other side of the pitch at kick off – Sadio Mane. Perfidious’s total of 61, with 26 points contributed by Mane, sees them regain the overall league lead, sailing past Da Pitch and The Islanders who like most of the rest of us limped past the weekly average of 26 –  surely an all time low. Spare a thought for those who’ve toiled for weeks or taken massive hits to try and get an XI out. There are those that probably decided to weather the storm and take a risk on a depleted squad who scored more points.

Player of the week – Karlan Grant – Huddersfield Town – 13 points

There were plenty of goals around – an average of 4 per game – it’s just the majority were scored by players completely off the radar…like this dude. And they still got beat.

Bargain of the week – Wes Morgan – Leicester City – 10 points

Not the Leicester player we were all banking on either…

Twat of the week – Harry Maguire – Leicester City – -2 points

…whereas this donkey lasted four bloody minutes and probably shaped the way many people’s weekends were going to go
Goal of the week – Matt Ritchie.
Video-less. It was a screamer.

Gameweek 6 results

1 4 Lime Jellies Ian Williams 58 305
2 greensmeansbusiness adam greenwood 46 292
3 FC Caligula Ajay Supeda 50 292
4 Pretty Schitty City Alex Michaluk 42 287
5 Walking with Memphis Noel Driver 48 285
6 Golden Boys Stephanie Cripps 43 285
7 Upper Bullens Andy Taylor 69 281
8 Your Ad Here Matthew Hopkins 55 277
9 The Kolarov Mané Trevor Gordon 51 277
11 scotty2hotty scott mcgow 50 271
12 Rocky Ba Bauer P Hawkins 48 270
13 Edgbaston Micheal Dinneen 49 265
14 What’s Up????? DEAN CRIPPS 47 264
15 Below Par Paul Bentz 30 258
16 Howayman Mark Bromham 45 257
17 The Craggy Islanders Adrian Roche 60 257
18 Game of Throw ins Darren Lavelle 45 256
19 Grievous AngelRangel Andrew Swift 47 248
20 Go Buffoons Go!!! Jitesh Lakhani 53 248
21 Romeo’s Honda Van Rob Hewer 45 247
22 Sweet Cherry Pie Jason Earwicker 39 246
23 JonniestaRedmondinho David Spinks 49 246
24 Init fc Mustafa khan 51 245
25 Release The Hounds Paul Mitchell 25 243
26 Hedgehog Corpse FC Nick Smith 51 243
27 Bicuitmen Chris Morton 49 241
28 Bermie Utd Glen Davies 57 239
29 Neil Madrid Neil Strong 40 238
30 SS3 FC Paul Murray 42 236
31 Rip Roaring Reds Sean Whyton 43 236
32 Shoelace Untied Caroline Strong 44 235
33 Crazy Legs XI David Caldicott 35 229
34 Gaalacticos Colin Goulding 47 227
35 Atlético Chappers Richard Chapman 35 226
36 The Hardy Boys Alan Hardy 30 222
37 Baker Bum Boys Lewis Baker 68 222
38 Panza Grande XI Stuart Baker 39 216
39 Ciderheads Darren Pope 34 209
40 Uriah Rennie 2nd XI Neil Greenwood 36 209
41 BrussiaHairbach Alex Ritchie 31 200
42 REAL JORVIK Simon Brown 38 198
42 Bish Bosh Goal Simon Purnell 35 198
44 The Mindless Morons John Seacroft 50 195


Upper Bullens are the team of the week this week. Their 69 points is the joint highest of the season, equalling the total set by Scotty2hotty in gameweek three. By virtue of scoring an impressive six goals, Bullens are now the team in pole position for the highest weekly score prize. Scotty2hotty only scored three in the week they posted their winning total. I’ve updated the Prize Money page to clarify what will happen in the event of any ties between teams. Have a read. Hopefully it makes sense. Let me know if I’ve written a load of nonsense

Bullens’ score also puts them at the top of the monthly leaderboard with one gameweek left to go…

1 Upper Bullens Andy Taylor 69 126
2 4 Lime Jellies Ian Williams 58 109
3 Edgbaston Micheal Dinneen 49 107
5 Your Ad Here Matthew Hopkins 55 101
6 The Craggy Islanders Adrian Roche 60 101
7 FC Caligula Ajay Supeda 50 100
7 Pretty Schitty City Alex Michaluk 42 100

They’ve a healthy lead, but are being chased by league leaders, 4 Lime Jellies, who have posted 50+ scores in all but one of the six gameweeks so far. Bullens’ score was aided by an automatic substitution. Norwich captain Russell Martin came on for the unused Joe Gomez. He scored and secured a bonus point that earned nine more points in total. Martin is the league’s highest goal scoring defender with three. That’s as many as Newcastle. And he’ll need to keep scoring goals to earn himself his fantasy points as Norwich are one of four teams who are yet to keep a clean sheet. The others are Stoke, Sunderland and Leicester.

That’s fourth placed Leicester – the only unbeaten team left in the Premier League. This is where Riyad Mahrez gets his now weekly mention. Riyad Mahrez. There. Fifth double figure score in six weeks. First player past 50 points and far and away the most selected across the whole game.

And in the week in which Eden Hazard reached 750,000 transfers OUT, he goes an scores his first double figure score of the season. It was your typical Chelsea v Arsenal game. Cheating was passed off as “clever play”. Everyone tried their hardest to be the biggest prick. And Chelsea won.


Player of the week – Kurt Zouma – 15 points. The end of John Terry?

Bargain of the week – Odion Ighalo – 13 points. That’s 19 goals in 24 starts THIS YEAR. Only £5.1 million.

Donkey of the week – Gabriel – -3 points. How is this award not going to Diego Costa?

Goal of the week – Matt Ritchie. The chest control is almost as good as the volley.



Season 2015-2016 and Gameweek 1 preview

08 Aug 12:45 Man Utd v Spurs
08 Aug 15:00 Bournemouth v Aston Villa
08 Aug 15:00 Everton v Watford
08 Aug 15:00 Leicester v Sunderland
08 Aug 15:00 Norwich v Crystal Palace
08 Aug 17:30 Chelsea v Swansea
09 Aug 13:30 Arsenal v West Ham
09 Aug 13:30 Newcastle v Southampton
09 Aug 16:00 Stoke v Liverpool
10 Aug 20:00 West Brom v Man City

As I write I’m still not sure how many participants we have this season. It looks like we’ve broken the 30 barrier which will give us a prize pot of over £600. The winner could scoop £250 this season if the maths works out. I’m considering upping the manager of the month prizes by a couple of quid. But it all depends on how many players we get. I was aiming to get 40. I’m not sure we’ll reach that figure. All prize money calculations will appear under the prize money link. I’ll update the format for the Buckets Cup once I know how many teams we have. That will appear under the Buckets Cup link – of all places.

There are some rule changes to this year’s game. There is no longer a ‘transfer window’ wildcard. Instead you have two wildcards to be used in each half of the season. Your first must be used up to and including gameweek 19 – the second from gameweek 20 onwards.

And there are also three new ‘chips’ to be used at some point during the season. The ‘bench boost’ chip brings all 15 of your players into the game. All players in your squad, including those on your bench, will score during that gameweek. The ‘triple captain’ chip means that your captain’s points will be tripled instead of doubled. And the ‘all out attack’ chip allows you to pick a 2-5-3 formation, employing all eight of your more forward thinking players.

It seems fairly obvious and sensible to suggest that each of these would be better utilised in a double gameweek, although some forward thinking tactics wouldn’t go amiss – particularly for the bench boost and all out attack. You’d need to be confident that your reserve players were also guaranteed some gametime. League Cup final weekend and FA Cup 6th round weekend are your guaranteed double gameweeks, but they don’t roll round until February and March. It’s unlikely we’ll see any before then unless the winter weather bites and games are postponed.

You could aim to play them, maybe even consecutively, during our shorter game months to give yourselves a better shot at a manager of the month prize. August, September and November are three weeks long. May is a two week shoot out.

Playing them this week might be a bit too maverick, but they could get you off to a flying start. Although, before a ball is even being kicked, this season is already throwing up some selection headaches. Prepare to carry on tearing your hair out over Diego Costa’s fitness as he looks uncertain for Chelsea’s first game against Swansea. Alexis Sanchez and Sergio Aguero look likely to have just the one game off before coming into contention for gameweek two. Pick, wait, or just go with someone else?

There has been plenty of transfer activity to ponder over. Christian Benteke’s first outing in a Liverpool shirt produced a stunning volleyed goal. A lack of match fitness means he may not start this weekend, but some game time looks likely on the back of that goal as Brendan Rodgers tries again to fill the Suarez gap. No matter what you might think of Raheem Sterling, his pre seaosn form has been encouraging. He’s been in among goals an assists, which is good for City, because their defence looks no less creaky. John Terry suggested that Petr Cech could win Arsenal 15 more points this season. That would win them the league based on last season’s points tallies. Whether that happens remains to be seen – but 15 points – five more wins – five more clean sheets maybe? £5.5 million looks great value for one of the league’s best goalkeepers.

And that’s just scratching the surface. The season will take shape and other players will come into consideration. Someone – a relative unknown – will almost instantly start making a name for themselves – a new player brought in from abroad. And there’ll be that transfer clamour. His value will escalate. Will he keep it up past Christmas? Old favourites will fair well. There’ll be flops. There’ll be undroppables. Who will be this season’s Southampton? Who’ll be this season’s Charlie Austin? Who’ll be the mid price midfield maestro? Will anyone pick Mario Balotelli?

If any tactics are to be employed this week, try looking ahead to the first international break and work out whose opening fixtures could yield the most points, goals and clean sheets. The first split in the season comes between gameweeks four and five. That’s four fixtures neatly taking you to the end of August. Neither Chelsea, City, United or Arsenal have a run of completely winnable fixtures. Chelsea and City must play each other, whereas games against Spurs and Liverpool won’t be straightforward for the other two. Southampton’s season is up and running, having taken part in two Europa League games, both of which they won comfortably. There early run of fixtures offers good potential of clean sheets and goals, coming up, as they do, against Newcastle, Norwich and Watford. And oddly, Sunderland could provide good clean sheet options. There defensive form at the end of last season improved greatly under Dick Advocaat. They could get through their fixtures against Leicester, Norwich, Swansea and Villa with very little damage tot heir against column.

On the other hand there are also teams to be avoided. Newcastle haven’t made great strides to improve their back line and games against Southampton, United and Arsenal will be difficult. Watford have a testing opening month culminating in a trip to the Etihad and West Brom will be glad to get early season games against City and Chelsea out of the way. And Everton, despite starting with a home tie against Watford, see their run of fixtures become much more difficult from week two all the way through to week six. Everton regulars, in the long run, will get in among the points. But – don’t touch them till the Autumn.

Good luck.