1  up The Craggy Islanders
Adrian Roche
98 2001
2  down Perfidious Albion
Andrew Swift
89 1993
3  same But Da Pitch Ain’t 1
Trev Reams
79 1974
4  same Neil Madrid
Neil Strong
103 1932
5  up Bielsa Ringing
Alan Hardy
96 1909
6  down Shoelace Untied
Caroline Strong
82 1896
7  up FC Caligula
Ajay Supeda
106 1866
8  down INIT FC
Mustafa khan
77 1845
9  up Rip Roaring Reds
Sean Whyton
120 1837
10  same Edgbaston
Micheal Dinneen
94 1828
11  down FTM
Stu Smith
65 1823
12  up Aribo Haribo
Paul Hawkins
94 1809
13  down Upper Bullens
Andy Taylor
83 1805
14  down Deeney in a Bottle
Stephanie Cripps
71 1804
15  same Frostee Rucker
Paul Bentz
89 1801
16  up Game of Stones
Ryan Garoghan
117 1783
17  same RICO UNITED
JASON REACHER
80 1759
18  up Nashton Villa
Jaime Nash
90 1756
19  down Cookie fc
Peter Cook
78 1754
20  down King raggg
Steven Darling
58 1748
21  up Salah Buffoon!!!
Jitesh Lakhani
93 1737
22  up Dinamo Spinks
David Spinks
93 1736
23  up Kompany & Co
DEAN CRIPPS
87 1730
24  up Pretty Schitty City
Alex Michaluk
90 1727
25  down Fake Madrid
Andrew Wade
56 1707
26  same SLABHEAD FC
Adam Burnett
73 1706
27  up Mour Salt and Pep
Noel Driver
106 1696
28  up Crazy Leg XI
David Caldicott
95 1693
29  down Musttryharder fc
Paul Telford
59 1690
30  up Kebab Eaters Utd
Paul Howard
91 1679
31  up Your Ad Here
Matthew Hopkins
93 1675
32  same PenshawPerformers
david bruce
71 1662
33  down Need son luck
Matt Jarvis
71 1656
34  up Hemel Hotspurs
Paul Jarvis
100 1655
35  down El Loco No Joko
Paul Murray
53 1646
36  up Real Jorvik
Simon Brown
57 1636
37  up Morningblues
Jeff Morning
65 1633
38  down The Big Lewandowski
Paul Callaghan
48 1631
39  down Atlético Chappers
Richard Chapman
48 1628
40  down QUEEN OF THE NORTH
DORINE REACHER
40 1624
41  up Greeeenteeam
adam greenwood
85 1621
42  same Dropit like its Hart
Jason Earwicker
70 1615
43  down Pique Blinders
Colin Goulding
62 1611
44  down romeoshondavan
Rob Hewer
69 1600
45  up Puddle Splash Van
Ian Williams
68 1584
46  down Hoose Reus
James Whitfield
51 1575
47  up It’s coming home
scott mcgow
54 1544
48  down ClipityKlopptotitle
tanya thursby
48 1540
49  same The Mindless Morons
John Seacroft
57 1463
50  same Ross’s champions
darren frankland
61 1408

 

March manager of the month – Ayaj Supeda – FC Caligula – 270 points

One of a lowly seven triple figure totals in a frustrating double gameweek took Caligula over the line to the March manager prize.

1  up FC Caligula
Ajay Supeda
106 270
2  same Upper Bullens
Andy Taylor
83 264
3  up Salah Buffoon!!!
Jitesh Lakhani
93 262
4  down Shoelace Untied
Caroline Strong
82 261
5  up Rip Roaring Reds
Sean Whyton
120 258
6  down Puddle Splash Van
Ian Williams
68 257
7  down Aribo Haribo
Paul Hawkins
94 257
8  down Perfidious Albion
Andrew Swift
89 255
9  same The Craggy Islanders
Adrian Roche
98 253

Caligula played the free hit. Their closest challengers all went with the triple captain. Bullens will be cursing their luck the most, opting to put the armband on Raheem Sterling who returned absolutely nothing other than his appearance points for the one game he took part in. Calilgula also punted on Sterling – who didn’t? He wasn’t the only heavily backed double gameweeker who only made a single appearance. It was Aymeric Laporte, for the second consecutive Manchester City double gameweek, who impressed the most, and contributed the highest score to Caligula’s total.

Manager of the week – Sean Whyton – Rip Roaring Reds – 120 points

The Reds equaled the highest weekly gameweek score but only scored four goals from their bench-boosted squad. They needed to better the nine goals scored in the first double gameweek of the season by Shoelace to claim the highest score prize. Had they banged in nine they’d be outright leaders posting a potential 150 point weekly score.

Player of the week – Christian Eriksen – Tottenham Hotspur – 20 points

One of the few elite players to play both games and contribute in both, although Spurs assets weren’t all that heavily backed overall, certainly in comparison to those of City, United and Chelsea. Maybe that was to do with their tricky opening fixture against Liverpool. More was expected of United. City seemed happy to do the bare minimum and Chelsea, despite two victories, looked more convincing in their second fixture. Or was that just to do with the fact that Eden Hazard put in his monthly big performance?

Bargain of the week – Ruben Loftus-Cheek – Chelsea – 19 points

Hazard featured in most free hit squads. Punting on Ruben Loftus-Cheek would have earned you four more points for nearly £6 million less. Hazard was all set for the goal of the week nod until he was out-Hazarded by his younger team mate with the sumptuous curler that killed the game against Brighton.

Twat of the week – Ashley Young – Manchester United – -1 points

Indicative of Manchester United’s poor double gameweek return. No clean sheets was bad enough. Add to that only a single appearance by their most popular defensive pick, Victor Lindelof. Rashford and Martial impressed in the first game but neither started the second. Worst of all, Ashley Young received two quick yellows to end up on his minus score.

Goal of the week – Ruben Loftus-Cheek. 8m27s in.

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1  same The Vinegar Pissers
P Hawkins
58 1926
2  same Hornets
Andrew Wade
63 1888
3  up The Craggy Islanders
Adrian Roche
66 1870
4  down Brexiter City
Colin Goulding
54 1867
5  same Despicable Mee
Trevor Gordon
66 1861
6  same Nashton Villa
Jaime Nash
64 1858
7  up FC Caligula
Ajay Supeda
59 1840
8  up Edgbaston
Micheal Dinneen
56 1832
9  down Game of Throw-Ins
Ryan Garoghan
47 1828
10  up The winnings R mine
david bruce
49 1814
11  up greenyteamy
adam greenwood
62 1811
12  same Rip Roaring Reds
Sean Whyton
44 1807
13  down Gotta Light?
Andrew Swift
35 1804
14  up Queen of the north
DORINE REACHER
68 1803
15  down Emergency Gap Jumper
Ian Williams
51 1803
16  up Fun Lovren Criminals
Paul Callaghan
61 1802
17  up Rico united
JASON REACHER
67 1799
18  down INIT FC
Mustafa khan
49 1799
19  up It’sOnlyAGameFarke!
David Spinks
53 1778
20  down Atlético Chappers
Richard Chapman
41 1777
21  up We are Ayling
Paul Murray
50 1769
22  down Golden Boys
Stephanie Cripps
32 1755
23  same Shoelace Untied
Caroline Strong
52 1752
24  up Kebab Eaters Utd
Paul Howard
60 1739
25  same Your Ad Here
Matthew Hopkins
44 1729
26  up Aquamar 1564
Noel Driver
49 1726
27  up Flying squad
Matt Jarvis
59 1725
28  same To Elland Back
Alan Hardy
48 1724
29  down Neil Madrid
Neil Strong
47 1723
30  up Pure Buffoonery!
Jitesh Lakhani
68 1720
31  same Klopp of the Pochs
Jason Earwicker
53 1719
32  down Kompany & Co
DEAN CRIPPS
53 1718
33  up Crazylegs XI
David Caldicott
60 1703
34  down musttryharder FC
Paul Telford
50 1697
35  same Pretty Schitty City
Alex Michaluk
59 1696
36  up mrs mcgoo
laura barrett
62 1688
37  down King Dunlap
Paul Bentz
42 1678
38  up FTM
Stu Smith
68 1672
39  down blakes11
Steven Darling
45 1644
40  up iamgroot
scott mcgow
62 1625
41  down Upper Bullens
Andy Taylor
55 1618
42  same romeoshondavan
Rob Hewer
55 1614
43  same Jarv88
Paul Jarvis
56 1604
44  same cookster fc
Peter Cook
57 1603
45  up Bakerlona FC
Stuart Baker
45 1559
46  down Pudding And Pie
John Seacroft
34 1559
47  same disco dancer
darren frankland
58 1531
48  same Real Jorvik
Simon Brown
44 1481
49  same Release The Hounds
Paul Mitchell
46 1443
50  same Biscuitmen
Chris Morton
44 1335

 

March Manager of the Month – The Vinegar Pissers – Paul Hawkins – 304 points

There wasn’t really anyone else in it. During March The Vinegar Pissers have risen to the top of our league, climbed 100,000 places in the overall game into the top 20,000 and posted the highest weekly gameweek score of our season so far. They’ve no wildcard but all three chips remaining, meaning it looks like they’re in good shape to cope with gameweeks 34, 35 and 37. They’re our likely new favourites for the title and it’ll be a second time success for their manager. Beware of last year’s champs and runners up who are sat in 3rd and 5th respectively and on the climb.

Manager of the week – Pure Buffoonery! – Jitesh Lakhani – 68 points (7 goals)

Three teams picked up 68 points this week. Queen Of The North and FTM both scored four goals in reaching that total, but it’s Pure Buffoonery! with seven goals that take their place on the honours board. Seven goals is an impressive haul for a gameweek. They were scored by five different players with both Arnautovic and Aubameyang contributing a brace. Clearly they missed when placing the captain’s armband. Surely it was meant to land on Mo Salah, but instead ended up around Pascal Gross’ arm. Which would have been wonderful had it paid off, but it didn’t. But when your side bangs in seven goals, what does it matter?

Player of the week – Marko Arnautovic – 16 points

There haven’t been many double players of the week. Arnautovic becomes the fourth following Aguero, Son and Kane. He appears to be leading the line again following a spell relying on Javier Hernandez, which didn’t work out all that well. West Ham have a double gameweek upcoming – probably in GW37 – and they also play GW35. Arnautovic, who has scored his nine goals in 13 games, could be well worth keeping hold of if you’ve got him. Although, they won’t be playing Southampton every week.

Bargain of the week – Ben Chilwell – 11 points

Chilwell is winning the battle with Christian Fuchs for the Leicester left back role at the moment and at £4.3 with two double gameweeks on the horizon is a tempting prospect. He has two assists in his last two games, so there’s attacking potential there. This week he added a clean sheet. Leicester’s double gamewek opponents are Burnley, Southampton, West Ham and Arsenal. At least two, possibly even three of those four games could easily end up with more clean sheet points on the board.

Twat of the week – Jack Stephens – 0 points

It’s looking pretty dire for Southampton. They too have two double gameweeks to negotiate, but their run in is frightening. Chelsea, Leicester, Everton and Swansea make up their 34 and 37 opponents, which is bad enough. Add to that Arsenal next week and Manchester City last game of the season and even those that can’t resist filling the teams with double gameweekers are probably going to be steering well clear of Southampton players.

Goal of the week – Ashley Barnes. 

Was close to winning it a few weeks back. Definitely wins it this week. From the start.

 

Gameweek 29 results

March 20, 2017

same Aquamar 15
Noel Driver
72 1658
up When Harry met Alli
Trevor Gordon
80 1612
down Hedgehog Corpse FC
Nick Smith
66 1602
same The Craggy Islanders
Adrian Roche
64 1590
same Biscuitmen
Chris Morton
62 1580
up FC Caligula
Ajay Supeda
90 1567
down Kebab Eaters Utd
Paul Howard
72 1567
down RICO UNITED
JASON REACHER
71 1564
down To Elland Back
Alan Hardy
75 1557
10  up Edgbaston
Micheal Dinneen
75 1541
11  down Uriah Rennie 2nd XI
Neil Greenwood
64 1540
12  up Joey Bosa
Paul Bentz
78 1531
13  up Atlético Chappers
Richard Chapman
66 1530
14  up Neil Madrid
Neil Strong
71 1520
15  up Upper Bullens
Andy Taylor
62 1519
16  up Go Buffoons Go
Jitesh Lakhani
67 1517
17  down greenyteamy
adam greenwood
37 1516
18  down Rip Roaring Reds
Sean Whyton
60 1516
19  down Cooksters
Peter Cook
47 1515
20  up Yeboah’s Right Foot
Paul Murray
72 1514
21  up Your Ad Here
Matthew Hopkins
67 1514
22  down INIT FC
Mustafa khan
62 1509
23  down 4 Fuchs Ake
Jason Earwicker
40 1507
24  up romeoshondavan
Rob Hewer
65 1473
25  down Jeff Lamp’s Porsche
David Spinks
63 1470
26  up Have a little dink
Ian Williams
83 1457
27  down QUEEN OF THE NORTH
DORINE REACHER
57 1455
28  down nO fucHs given
Paul Callaghan
62 1455
29  down RG XV
Ryan Garoghan
52 1446
30  down Jarvis FC
Matt Jarvis
47 1436
31  down 30:19
Darren Lavelle
47 1435
32  up Shoelace Untied
Caroline Strong
97 1429
33  up Release The Hounds
Paul Mitchell
47 1417
34  down Hucking Fell
P Hawkins
45 1413
35  down Golden Boys
Stephanie Cripps
29 1406
36  up jetty city
scott mcgow
80 1401
37  same I am not Zlatan
Colin Goulding
57 1394
38  up Ciderheads
Darren Pope
72 1385
39  down Crazy Legs XI
David Caldicott
22 1372
40  same FTM
Stu Smith
48 1360
41  same Pudding And Pie
John Seacroft
59 1359
42  same Bakerlona
Stuart Baker
52 1339
43  up Dj daz
darren frankland
69 1321
44  down Real Jorvik
Simon Brown
39 1295
45  up Pepe Le Blue
DEAN CRIPPS
39 1290
46  down Big White Chiefs
david frankland
38 1289
47  same Bermie Utd
Glen Davies
53 1268
48  up bazza 28 united
laura barrett
65 1240
49  down Pretty Schitty City
Alex Michaluk
29 1230
50  same Bish Bosh Goal
Simon Purnell
51 1209
51  up Jarv88
Paul Jarvis
51 1142
52  down Racing Club Skegness
Andrew Swift
22 1141
53  same DJ’s Trail Blazers
Danian Jones
40 1111

 

Shoelace Untied are the Buckets Cup champions. They have triumphed 97-72 over league leaders, Aquamar, who quite frankly didn’t have a chance against a team taking hits for fun and dropping the triple captain in for good measure. In the last three gameweeks Shoelace have made six, eight and eight transfers at the cost of 76 points. Aquamar’s challenge for the league has worked against them, although I imagine that not playing their wildcard or any chips will have much higher financial benefits in the long run. Their still respectable 72 point total maintains a healthy 46 point lead ahead of the chasing pack.

It was another Lukaku week. Everybody in the world handed him the armband to the tune of 32 points. Shoelace squeezed 48 points out of the Everton striker. Arguably, 33 of those points came in added time. Lukaku had contributed an assist before bagging a brace in the final moments of the game, nabbing the top bonus marks in the process. Shoelace’s final total was enough to earn them the highest weekly score accolade as well.

Despite taking the mega hits, Shoelace have actually managed to improve their league position. That’s probably a combination of making some very good transfer choices and the teams around them just not giving a shit anymore. Which is a shame, because if anything they’ve proved that by being out of the race for the league title doesn’t necessarily mean you’re out of the hunt for prizes.

Coming up on the outside, and winning the March manager of the month award are FC Caligula. Last years champs have also climbed to sixth and in contention for a league prize. It might be the first time they’ve appeared in the top 10 all year. Cold this be a late challenge? They’re still holding a wildcard and all of their chips.

 

Player of the week – Criag Dawson – 17 points. Arsenal doomed.

Bargain of the week – Benik Afobe – 12 points. Two wins and safe(ish) in mid table.

Donkey of the week – Phil Bardsley – -2 points. His yearly donkey.

Goal of the week – Jesse Lingard. 

Gameweek 29 preview

March 17, 2017

West Brom 12:30 Arsenal
Crystal Palace 15:00 Watford
Everton 15:00 Hull
Stoke 15:00 Chelsea
Sunderland 15:00 Burnley
West Ham 15:00 Leicester
Bournemouth 17:30 Swansea
Middlesbrough 12:00 Man Utd
Spurs 14:15 Southampton
Man City 16:30 Liverpool

It’s back to the comfort of a regular 10 match gameweek, by the end of which we’ll know the winners of this season’s Buckets Cup. Shoelace Untied play league leaders, Aquamar. There may be 34 places separating them in the league, but Shoelace, over the duration of the cup, have outscored Aquamar in three of the five gameweeks. Their aggregate scores fall in favour of Aquamar 316-302, but it’s a close run thing.

For the semi final Shoelace decided to take as many hits as possible to get out the best possible team. It worked – to a degree. It was far from the best team performance, but it was enough to get them into the final, and strangely, even saw them climb the league. The same tactic might be a bit easier to implement this week with a full schedule and a full roster of players to choose from. The league has clearly escaped them, so taking the full whack of a 60 point hit is irrelevant. Maybe it’s even bench boost week for Shoelace? Aquamar have a full set of chips and wildcards at their disposal. With their team clearly set up for last week’s reduced fixture list, they may need to turn to their wildcard to get back on track.

Remember, a wildcard and a chip can’t be played in the same week, so those of you waiting to draft in players to play a bench boost or triple captain need to think about doing it beforehand. Another future gameweek has been reduced to allow for the FA Cup semi finals. Gameweek 34, as it stands, is down to just six fixtures, although I believe there is scope for some of those fixtures to be played within the same gameweek, either on Tuesday or Wednesday night. Hopefully some of these cancelled fixtures will get there rescheduled dates soon.

It may only be mid March, but the international break brings the month to a close this week. Ordinarily I’d post a mini table showing the monthly contenders. Trust me, there are about 30 teams in it, so I won’t bother. Aquamar and Shoelace are in contention. They could be on for double success this week.

Gameweek 31 results

March 22, 2016

1 FC Caligula Ajay Supeda 83 1,787
2 Your Ad Here Matthew Hopkins 82 1,764
3 Atlético Chappers Richard Chapman 82 1,716
4 Rocky Ba Bauer P Hawkins 74 1,704
5 Golden Boys Stephanie Cripps 71 1,698
6 Shoelace Untied Caroline Strong 81 1,686
7 The Kolarov Mané Trevor Gordon 77 1,684
8 Sergio Five O DEAN CRIPPS 89 1,678
9 Game of Throw ins Darren Lavelle 75 1,675
10 Edgbaston Micheal Dinneen 81 1,665
11 Pretty Schitty City Alex Michaluk 76 1,664
12 Walking with Memphis Noel Driver 73 1,661
13 SS3 FC Paul Murray 76 1,658
14 4 Lime Jellies Ian Williams 79 1,656
15 Grievous AngelRangel Andrew Swift 70 1,643
16 Bicuitmen Chris Morton 51 1,643
17 greensmeansbusiness adam greenwood 61 1,629
18 Gaalacticos Colin Goulding 75 1,629
19 JonniestaRedmondinho David Spinks 83 1,627
20 scotty2hotty scott mcgow 90 1,624
21 Hedgehog Corpse FC Nick Smith 66 1,623
22 Romeo’s Honda Van Rob Hewer 58 1,612
23 Init fc Mustafa khan 69 1,611
24 Howayman Mark Bromham 80 1,609
25 Uriah Rennie 2nd XI Neil Greenwood 63 1,606
26 The Craggy Islanders Adrian Roche 87 1,605
27 Neil Madrid Neil Strong 83 1,580
28 Bermie Utd Glen Davies 60 1,572
29 Panza Grande XI Stuart Baker 73 1,572
30 Below Par Paul Bentz 65 1,561
31 The Hardy Boys Alan Hardy 83 1,547
32 Upper Bullens Andy Taylor 78 1,534
33 RICO UNITED JASON REACHER 74 1,516
34 Rip Roaring Reds Sean Whyton 54 1,506
35 The Mindless Morons John Seacroft 60 1,491
36 Release The Hounds Paul Mitchell 66 1,486
37 Sweet Cherry Pie Jason Earwicker 72 1,453
38 Baker Bum Boys Lewis Baker 56 1,453
39 Ciderheads Darren Pope 47 1,399
40 Go Buffoons Go!!! Jitesh Lakhani 53 1,398
41 Crazy Legs XI David Caldicott 77 1,396
42 Bish Bosh Goal Simon Purnell 50 1,293
43 REAL JORVIK Simon Brown 39 1,196
44 BrussiaHairbach Alex Ritchie 34 1,140

 

This was he last gameweek of the month. I’ve only just realised. We’ve an international break next week before the final stretch of the season. So we have a manager of the month prize to dish out and that goes to FC Caligula. And not before time. Our league leaders have surprisingly only managed one pretty low scoring manager of the week prize up until now and that was only a few weeks ago in GW27. In the closest finish yet, Caligula have just pipped Walking With Memphis, Rico United, Your Ad Here, Edgbaston and Shoelace to the prize. All six teams deserve a mention having all scored three consecutive 70+ scores in the last three weeks.

1 FC Caligula Ajay Supeda 83 280
2 Walking with Memphis Noel Driver 73 279
3 RICO UNITED JASON REACHER 74 279
4 Your Ad Here Matthew Hopkins 82 276
4 Edgbaston Micheal Dinneen 81 276
6 Shoelace Untied Caroline Strong 81 275

 

As you might expect, Caligula have also progressed to the semi finals of the cup. Unlucky on Your Ad Here, their closest title rivals, who lost out 83-82. They’ll face current league champions and former cup finalists, Neil Madrid, who overcame Pretty Schitty City 83-76. Neil Madrid can count themselves lucky having opted to put Hector Bellerin on the bench. Roberto Firmino’s injury promoted Bellerin and added an extra 12 points to their total. Rico United lost out to Upper Bullens and The Craggy Islanders completed a semi final line up of three teams from the bottom half by beating Shoelace.

The common denominator to all the 80+ scores was Harry Kane’s player of the week performance against Bournemouth. Two goals, an assist and top bonus totals 16 points – 32 if you hand him the armband, as the majority of managers did this week. That includes Scotty2hotty who emerge as this weeks best scoring team topping the 90 point mark. He joins a group of three players who have won the award twice this season – the others being Riyad Mahrez, Ross Barkley and Kevin De Bruyne. He looks the player most likely to catch Riyad Mahrez on current scoring rates and has moved into third on the overall points chart.

FC Caligula remain strong favourites to win the title, and look odds on to complete a first ever double. They have yet to play their second wildcard or any of their chips. Respect to Your Ad Here who are clinging on, desperate not to let them out of their sight, and almost matching them point for point. YAH are two chips poorer. If Caligula misplay their chips and YAH hit the jackpot with their triple captain, there could be a change in the lead. Caligula are Leicester. YAH are Spurs.

 

Player of the week – Harry Kane – 16 points. In emphatic form at the moment.

Bargain of the week – Federico Fernandez – 15 points. The Villa factor.

Donkey of the week – Martin Skrtel – -1 points. Came on at half time when Liverpool were 2-0 up. They lost 3-2.

Goal of the week – Graziano Pelle. Back in amongst it. 28 points in two weeks.

 

 

 

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