Gameweek 38 and end of season results

1 Neil Madrid Neil Strong 57 2,175
2 Pescara Rangers Stewart Pope 45 2,123
3 Hedgehog Corpse FC Nick Smith 33 2,114
4 NaboombuDirtyYellows Andrew Swift 57 2,112
5 Shoelace Untied Caroline Strong 36 2,061
6 RayCrawfordsCrackers Rob Hewer 44 2,051
7 Bermie Utd Glen Davies 63 2,049
8 Uriah Rennie 2nd XI Neil Greenwood 45 2,045
9 Gaalatcticos Colin Goulding 53 2,039
10 * Your Ad Here * Matthew Hopkins 44 2,037
11 Van Damme United P Hawkins 42 2,021
12 Paris Spinks Germain David Spinks 52 2,003
13 Upper Bullens Andy Taylor 26 1,993
14 Ciderheads Darren Pope 33 1,966
15 Who R U DEAN CRIPPS 45 1,953
16 Accrington Rudyard Ian Williams 41 1,939
17 Pretty Schitty City Alex Michaluk 47 1,903
18 Rip Roaring Reds Sean Whyton 50 1,901
19 Biscuitmen Chris Morton 33 1,881
20 The Mindless Morons John Seacroft 59 1,876
21 Panza Grande XI Stuart Baker 47 1,837
22 Get to the choppa Mark Bromham 40 1,834
23 Real Jorvik FC Simon Brown 45 1,830
24 Release The Hounds Paul Mitchell 45 1,788
25 Luxembourg United Simon Smallbone 32 1,758
26 No Recognized Plan Paul Bentz 41 1,744
27 Sportingabiggerwig Alex Ritchie 39 1,723
28 Crazylegs XI David Caldicott 32 1,617
29 Jordie’s Giants Jordan Raper 21 1,357

 

A  typically ridiculous last day of the season. Some teams scored lots of goals. Some players scored lots of points, most of whom are nowhere near anyone’s fantasy squads. Of the players who made the weekly dream team line up, only Santi Cazorla appears among the season’s top points scorers. The last Arsenal payer you want scoring a hat trick is Theo Walcott – but he did – and from warming the bench and the treatment table all season has potentially played himself into contention for an FA Cup final start.

Our last weekly winners are Bermie United. Fittingly, their 63 points also secured the May manager of the month award. They didn’t make any transfers this week – they didn’t need to – they’ve been on a steady rise for the last couple of weeks. They’ve climbed 200,000 places in the overall game since gameweek 34, and finish in 7th overall.

1 Bermie Utd Glen Davies 63 279
2 Paris Spinks Germain David Spinks 52 263
3 NaboombuDirtyYellows Andrew Swift 57 262
4 Neil Madrid Neil Strong 57 235
5 Release The Hounds Paul Mitchell 45 231
6 Gaalatcticos Colin Goulding 53 229

 

In the race for the title, Neil Madrid hit a steady 57 points to secure the trophy with room to spare. The battle for the runners up spot went to Pescara who leapfrogged Hedgehog Corpse. Hedgehog nearly slipped to fourth behind Naboombu’s, who would have pinched third had they made Moussa Sissoko or Phil Jones their captain. But who in their right mind would have done that?

Player of the week – Theo Walcott – 20 points. Only his fourth start of the season

Bargain of the week – Mame Biram Diouf – 16 points. Finishes as Stoke’s top scoring player.

Donkey of the week – Marouane Fellaini – -2 points. Trying his hardest to keep Hull up.

Goal of the week – Jack Wilshere. Screamer. 1m46s.

 

 

Eden Hazard finishes as top player. He played every game, and pretty much every minute, scoring more bonus points than anybody else by some distance, yet interestingly never picked up a player of the week award. The best bargain player by some distance was Harry Kane. He’ll still only set you back £6 million. It did get as high as £6.5 but has dropped after a quiet few weeks. Burnley keeper, Tom Heaton, is the best value for money player. Ten clean sheets might be unprecedented by a relegated keeper. This includes three in his last three games – since they were relegated. Heaton is also one of six keepers to have saved more than one penalty this season. He also comes in at fourth in the overall saves table behind Fabianski, Adrian and Rob Green. Proving again that the more shots you’re likely to have to save – the better fantasy keeper you are.

Alexis Sanchez’s value increased the most over the season – by £1.1 million. Harry Kane’s had got to a £1.5 million increase before his recent slump. Hazard’s had increased to £1.4 million only two weeks ago. He played at the weekend, but most managers had shipped him out after reading the reports of his wonky wisdom teeth. Nathaniel Clyne and Stewart Downing had both increased in value by £1.2 million at various points of the season. Southampton, on the whole, offered up the best value for money players. Had you ignored the early season pundit predictions that they’d struggle, and picked three of Clyne, Ryan Bertrand, Jose Fonte, Fraser Forster or Graziano Pelle, you’d have got off to a blinding start. Don’t expect them to be so cheap next season.

RayCrawfordsCrackers unsurprisingly tinkered their way to the most manager of the week awards this season. They finished the week with the highest score six times, one less that the record they set last year. Shoelace were the only team to take more than one monthly award, winning the prize in October and March. The player of the week awards were much more evenly spread than last year. I’d be surprised if anyone beat Luis Suarez’s record of five from last season. Harry Kane finished as the highest scorer on three occassions.

Yannick Bolasie hit the highest weekly score of 24 points in gameweek 32 – a hat trick, an assist and all bonus marks against Sunderland. In gamweek 31 Christian Beneteke equalled the highest score up until that point with 23 points – a total that had already been achieved by Dusan Tadic in gameweek 8 – also against Sunderland. Also in gameweek 31, Charlie Austin bagged 21 points – our highest bargain player score. Unsurprisingly, gameweek 31produced our highest team score – 119 points by Pescara – who had both Benteke (c) and Austin in their team. Sergio Aguero and Sadio Mane, in gameweeks 36 and 37 respectively also posted 23 point weekly scores.

Sunderland’s Santiago Vergini hit the depths with a -4 weekly score in their 8-0 drubbing at the hands of Southampton. This included a cracking og that would easily be up for goal of the season, had it not been for the fact he volleyed it into the roof of his own net. Hull and Everton served up the most donkeys with four each. Kyle Naughton was our only double donkey this season whilst playing for Spurs. He now plays for Swansea.

Team of the season

  • GK – Lukasz Fabianski – Swansea City – 151 points
  • DR – Branislav Ivanovic – Chelsea – 171 points
  • DL – Ryan Bertrand – Southampton – 140 points
  • DC – John Terry – Chelsea – 170 points
  • DC – Phil Jagielka – Everton – 142 points
  • MR – Alexis Sanchez – Arsenal – 207 points
  • ML – Eden Hazard – Chelsea – 233 points
  • CM – David Silva – Manchester City – 191 points
  • CM – Santi Cazorla – Arsenal – 168 points
  • AT – Sergio Aguero – Manchester City – 216 points
  • AT – Harry Kane – Tottenham Hotspur – 191 points

Bargains of the season (with season starting value)

  • GK – Tom Heaton – Burnley – 150 points – £4.5 million
  • DR – Nathaniel Clyne – Southampton – 142 points – £5 million
  • DL – Neil Taylor – Swansea City – 109 points – £4.5 million
  • DC – Joleon Lescott – West Bromwich Albion – 127 points – £5 million
  • DC – Ashley Williams – Swansea City – 118 points – £5 million
  • MR – Nacer Chadli – Tottenham Hotspur – 160 points – £6 million
  • ML – Stewart Downing – West Ham United – 160 points – £5.5 million
  • MC – Gylfi Sigurdsson – Swansea City – 154 points – £6 million
  • MC – Ki Sung-Yeung – Swansea City – 129 points – £5 million
  • AT – Charlie Austin –  Queens Park Rangers – 176 points – £6 million
  • AT – Graziano Pelle – Southampton – 149 points – £7.5 million

 

That’s it. Seventy odd days till we start again. Check the Roll of Honour and Prize Money links for full season breakdown. I’ll be in touch with the winners regarding payment of prize money over the next few days.

Well done everyone.

 

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Gameweek 19 results

1 NaboombuDirtyYellows Andrew Swift 35 1,038
2 Gaalatcticos Colin Goulding 41 1,022
3 Uriah Rennie 2nd XI Neil Greenwood 50 1,014
4 Ciderheads Darren Pope 47 1,011
5 Paris Spinks Germain David Spinks 59 1,001
6 Pescara Rangers Stewart Pope 58 1,001
7 Neil Madrid Neil Strong 40 1,000
8 Upper Bullens Andy Taylor 47 995
9 Hedgehog Corpse FC Nick Smith 37 980
10 Shoelace Untied Caroline Strong 55 963
11 RayCrawfordsCrackers Rob Hewer 36 962
12 * Your Ad Here * Matthew Hopkins 24 944
13 Van Damme United P Hawkins 44 938
14 Biscuitmen Chris Morton 51 932
15 Panza Grande XI Stuart Baker 50 929
16 Bermie Utd Glen Davies 35 922
17 Sportingabiggerwig Alex Ritchie 31 909
18 Pretty Schitty City Alex Michaluk 41 906
19 Who R U DEAN CRIPPS 35 894
20 Rip Roaring Reds Sean Whyton 49 892
21 Get to the choppa Mark Bromham 37 885
22 Accrington Rudyard Ian Williams 40 881
23 Real Jorvik FC Simon Brown 45 865
24 The Mindless Morons John Seacroft 16 861
25 No Recognized Plan Paul Bentz 36 848
26 Crazylegs XI David Caldicott 38 839
27 Release The Hounds Paul Mitchell 31 835
28 Luxembourg United Simon Smallbone 27 824
29 Jordie’s Giants Jordan Raper 30 686

 

Congratulations to PSG, who after a worrying mini-slump, have managed to climb the table back into the top five, and win the manager of the week award. Their 59 points was some achievement in a week in which the average was only 37. Gameweek 18 seemed to pass without too many unexpected team rotations and all of our most popular players bang in form. I can only guess that this Boxing Day binge left them a bit bloated – none of them turned up for gameweek 19.

PSG were one of the few teams that didn’t have to rely on their bench. David Silva was a canny choice as captain. He and Eden Hazard posted double figure scores, but their most surprising contribution, and the total that arguably handed them the weekly prize was that of Robert Green, who kept a rare clean sheet and in doing so was awarded with top bonus marks.

Substitute benches were called into action with unexpected no shows for the likes of Yaya Toure, Nathaniel Clyne, Oscar and Gael Clichy. Of the most owned strikers in the game, only Danny Welbeck scored a goal. Costa, Austin, Pelle, Rooney, Kane, Bony, Van Persie and Falcao all ended the week with just two point (or less) totals. And Alexis Sanchez completed a rare contribution-less week with a booking, guaranteeing a measly two points to the many that had plumped for him as their captain.

Gaalacticos inevitable romp to the December manager of the month prize was wrapped up this week. They didn’t have the best of weeks, although still posted a higher than average score of 40. Their nearest challengers, Van Damme United, ended up needing an 80+ score to catch them – and that was never going to happen in this low scoring, low key gameweek.

1 Gaalatcticos Colin Goulding 41 403
2 Van Damme United P Hawkins 44 365
2 Pescara Rangers Stewart Pope 58 365
4 Accrington Rudyard Ian Williams 40 353
5 NaboombuDirtyYellows Andrew Swift 35 351
6 Ciderheads Darren Pope 47 350

 

So that’s the last gameweek of the year, and the half way point of the season. Gameweek 20 comes on New Years Day and teams will play their first return fixture – the same fixture as in gameweek 14. There’s then a break for the FA Cup third round, with gameweek 21 taking place on the weekend of the 10th and 11th January. Gameweek 21 is the first weekend in which you can use your January wildcard. It’s there for you to pick up January transfer widow purchases – although this year it may be put to better use sweeping up the mess left by the exodus to the African and Asian Cups of Nations. Off go the Toures, the Cisses, the Sakhos, the Dioufs (except the ones with French passports). Mile Jedinak’s already gone and Bolasie will follow him out of Palace, leaving them further up shit creek. Sadio Mane, Wilfried Bony, Riyad Mahrez, Cheik Tiote, Jeffrey Schlupp and Ki Sung-Yeung are other notable ship-jumpers.

Happy New Year.

 

Player of the week – Adam Lallana – 15 points. A good week for Liverpool?!?!?!

Bargain of the week – Mame Biram Diouf – 13 points. A second consecutive win for Stoke?!!?!!?!!

Donkey of the week – Fabian Delph – -2points. Another Villa sending off.

Goal of the week – Fernandinho. It was so nearly Ashley Barnes for second time in three weeks.