1  same The Vinegar Pissers
P Hawkins
37 2146
2  up The Craggy Islanders
Adrian Roche
55 2108
3  up Nashton Villa
Jaime Nash
71 2104
4  same Edgbaston
Micheal Dinneen
59 2099
5  down FC Caligula
Ajay Supeda
39 2098
6  up Despicable Mee
Trevor Gordon
71 2094
7  up Hornets
Andrew Wade
54 2073
8  down Brexiter City
Colin Goulding
51 2070
9  same INIT FC
Mustafa khan
60 2047
10  up Queen of the north
DORINE REACHER
76 2036
11  up Rico united
JASON REACHER
64 2029
12  down greenyteamy
adam greenwood
43 2028
13  down Emergency Gap Jumper
Ian Williams
55 2024
14  same The winnings R mine
david bruce
57 2020
15  same Fun Lovren Criminals
Paul Callaghan
58 2016
16  up Kebab Eaters Utd
Paul Howard
52 2001
17  down Game of Throw-Ins
Ryan Garoghan
45 2000
18  same It’sOnlyAGameFarke!
David Spinks
46 1990
19  same Rip Roaring Reds
Sean Whyton
53 1982
20  same Shoelace Untied
Caroline Strong
51 1972
21  up We are Ayling
Paul Murray
71 1953
22  up Atlético Chappers
Richard Chapman
58 1948
23  down Gotta Light?
Andrew Swift
41 1943
24  down Pure Buffoonery!
Jitesh Lakhani
50 1941
25  down Flying squad
Matt Jarvis
51 1936
26  up To Elland Back
Alan Hardy
68 1927
27  up Klopp of the Pochs
Jason Earwicker
62 1922
28  down Aquamar 1564
Noel Driver
48 1921
29  down Golden Boys
Stephanie Cripps
33 1914
30  same Your Ad Here
Matthew Hopkins
54 1914
31  up mrs mcgoo
laura barrett
71 1911
32  same King Dunlap
Paul Bentz
56 1908
33  down Neil Madrid
Neil Strong
58 1901
34  same Crazylegs XI
David Caldicott
36 1882
35  up FTM
Stu Smith
49 1882
36  down Kompany & Co
DEAN CRIPPS
32 1879
37  up blakes11
Steven Darling
71 1878
38  same Pretty Schitty City
Alex Michaluk
49 1877
39  down musttryharder FC
Paul Telford
37 1868
40  up romeoshondavan
Rob Hewer
58 1800
41  up iamgroot
scott mcgow
60 1798
42  up cookster fc
Peter Cook
43 1784
43  up Jarv88
Paul Jarvis
41 1778
44  down Upper Bullens
Andy Taylor
26 1770
45  same disco dancer
darren frankland
58 1764
46  same Pudding And Pie
John Seacroft
31 1724
47  same Bakerlona FC
Stuart Baker
40 1712
48  same Release The Hounds
Paul Mitchell
45 1653
49  same Real Jorvik
Simon Brown
42 1643
50  same Biscuitmen
Chris Morton
39 1513

 

April Manager of the Month – Edgbaston – Micheal Dineen – 267 points

In what was probably our closest manager of the month tussle of the season, the prize goes to Edgbaston. All of the teams in contention could have pinched the top spot with a better captain choice. Most plumped for Salah, who had a rare off week. Some, most notably Caligula, could have come out on top with a different team selection. Caligula had an extra 10 points on the bench which would have seen them over the line. Having said that, Edgbaston could also have picked up a few more points, opting as they did for Hugo Lloris over Mat Ryan and Pascal Gross over Willian. Caligula’s poor showing saw them drop to fifth overall. The gap is down to 36 points behind the Vinegar Pissers, with The Craggy Islanders and Nashton Villa now leading the chase. Mega double gameweek to come – it’s still anybody’s.

1  up Edgbaston
Micheal Dinneen
59 267
2  same Kebab Eaters Utd
Paul Howard
52 262
3  down FC Caligula
Ajay Supeda
39 258
4  same INIT FC
Mustafa khan
60 256
5  same disco dancer
darren frankland
58 249
6  up Nashton Villa
Jaime Nash
71 246

Manager of the week – Queen of the North – Dorine Reacher – 76 points

Queen of the North became only the fifth team to achieve a second manager of the week nod and move into the top 10 overall – although they’re probably out of the running for a top four place with no chips remaining ahead of the double gameweek. The key to a high score was stocking up on Palace players who made themselves safe with their 5-0 rout of Leicester. Wilfried Zaha bagged his second double figure score in three weeks and was the Queen’s highest scoring player.

Player of the week – Dusan Tadic – 15 points

Despite Palace’s best efforts it was another relegation threatened team who provided us with this weeks best player. Southampton look semi-revitalised and not yet ready to give up on their Premier League status – and may now offer us some options for their double gameweek – Tadic being one of them. He normally shows up for one week of every season with a big score. He chipped in with 23 points back in gameweek 8 of the 2014-2015 season.

Bargain of the week – Mamadou Sakho – 13 points

There we are. The Palace representative. Sakho was one of four Palace players to hit double figures this week. Lots of managers have taken a punt on Zaha given his good form, but not so many on any other player, probably due to the fact they only have one game next week. All others have been gradually discarded in preparation for the GW37. They have Stoke and West Brom left to play – which in the middle of the season would tempt you towards them. Now they’re safe and with those two teams still fighting, it might be best to look elsewhere.

Twat of the week – Marc Albrighton – -2 points

It’s very difficult to time tackles when you’re wearing flip flops and sunglasses.

Goal of the week – Dusan Tadic

No vid for this toe-poke. Tadic again. You definitely won’t see this name mentioned again until next season.

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Gameweek 33 preview

April 13, 2017

Spurs v Bournemouth
Crystal Palace v Leicester
Everton v Burnley
Stoke v Hull
Sunderland v West Ham
Watford v Swansea
Southampton v Man City
West Brom v Liverpool
Man Utd v Chelsea
Middlesbrough v Arsenal

This is definitely the year that Arsenal don’t finish in the top four. Just look at their fantasy season. There’s only really been one player worth having at any time and that’s Alexis Sanchez, and even that bubble may well have burst. Laurent Koscielny has had his moments in an unusually unreliable defence and some of us got a bit excited when Olivier Giroud scored that scorpion kick. But that’s about it – and that’s being kind. Sanchez is still the overall leading points scorer, but has Hazard, Alli and Lukaku breathing down his neck. We need more than a single goal and assist in your last five outings, Alexis. That’s coincided with Wenger shifting him back out onto the flanks with Danny Welbeck through the middle. So is it time to get rid? We’re all clinging onto him in the hope that his manager sees sense and sticks him up top again – where the double figure scores undoubtedly are. And there are **NEWLY ANNOUNCED** double gameweeks ahead – two in consecutive weeks for Arsenal. Who’ve they got this week? Oh, it’s Boro. K E E P !!!

Harry Kane’s back. There’s your replacement. Providing of course you haven’t already got three Spurs players in your team. And why wouldn’t you? They’re the form team with the easiest run in and a double gameweek fixture in GW37. Bringing in Kane means the obvious sacrifice of a big hitter elsewhere – Sanchez is probably a leading contender (up against Boro – are you mad?). The real decision is which Spurs player to drop. Maybe there’s just too much surgery involved bringing Kane in right now. Bournemouth at home screams goals, but whose to say those goals won’t be shared between Alli, Son and Eriksen?

Also, drafting Kane in probably disrupts your carefully laid plans for next week’s double gameweek. Anyone whose been gradually transferring in Palace players must be pleased with themselves. Right through the team, from back to front, Palace arguably offer much more, and for much less money, than Manchester United, who also play twice. Be aware that Mamadou Sakho doesn’t play the double gameweek match against Liverpool as part of his loan agreement. And don’t be afraid that as well as Liverpool, they face Spurs away. They’re fairing better against the big guns anyway. Leicester this week – their minds will be elsewhere.

Click forward – the double gameweeks are in. Gameweek 36 sees Arsenal and Southampton play twice. They both play twice again in gameweek 37 – along with Chelsea, Watford, Manchester City, West Brom, Manchester United, Leicester and Spurs. Oh, and Sunderland. Best start planning those chips and wildcards.

Gameweek 32 results

April 10, 2017

same Aquamar 15
Noel Driver
89 1873
same When Harry met Alli
Trevor Gordon
75 1793
same The Craggy Islanders
Adrian Roche
84 1773
up Kebab Eaters Utd
Paul Howard
81 1766
down Hedgehog Corpse FC
Nick Smith
79 1764
same RICO UNITED
JASON REACHER
73 1753
up Biscuitmen
Chris Morton
88 1744
up Joey Bosa
Paul Bentz
87 1735
down FC Caligula
Ajay Supeda
49 1716
10  up Uriah Rennie 2nd XI
Neil Greenwood
76 1711
11  up Yeboah’s Right Foot
Paul Murray
64 1703
12  down To Elland Back
Alan Hardy
61 1702
13  up Neil Madrid
Neil Strong
82 1699
14  up Atlético Chappers
Richard Chapman
68 1698
15  down 4 Fuchs Ake
Jason Earwicker
54 1697
16  down Upper Bullens
Andy Taylor
62 1694
17  down Edgbaston
Micheal Dinneen
56 1693
18  up Go Buffoons Go
Jitesh Lakhani
87 1686
19  same INIT FC
Mustafa khan
68 1684
20  down Cooksters
Peter Cook
62 1683
21  down Your Ad Here
Matthew Hopkins
51 1655
22  up Jeff Lamp’s Porsche
David Spinks
100 1652
23  same Rip Roaring Reds
Sean Whyton
58 1650
24  same QUEEN OF THE NORTH
DORINE REACHER
66 1648
25  down greenyteamy
adam greenwood
46 1640
26  up romeoshondavan
Rob Hewer
74 1631
27  down Have a little dink
Ian Williams
59 1630
28  down Hucking Fell
P Hawkins
65 1627
29  up Jarvis FC
Matt Jarvis
80 1627
30  same Shoelace Untied
Caroline Strong
72 1622
31  down nO fucHs given
Paul Callaghan
57 1608
32  up Release The Hounds
Paul Mitchell
60 1577
33  down RG XV
Ryan Garoghan
46 1572
34  down 30:19
Darren Lavelle
50 1568
35  up I am not Zlatan
Colin Goulding
62 1557
36  down jetty city
scott mcgow
57 1555
37  up Golden Boys
Stephanie Cripps
76 1548
38  up Pudding And Pie
John Seacroft
73 1531
39  down FTM
Stu Smith
50 1527
40  same Ciderheads
Darren Pope
63 1511
41  up Pepe Le Blue
DEAN CRIPPS
83 1475
42  down Crazy Legs XI
David Caldicott
37 1459
43  same Bakerlona
Stuart Baker
52 1453
44  up Real Jorvik
Simon Brown
63 1448
45  down Dj daz
darren frankland
55 1445
46  same Big White Chiefs
david frankland
43 1407
47  same Bermie Utd
Glen Davies
25 1384
48  up bazza 28 united
laura barrett
67 1383
49  down Pretty Schitty City
Alex Michaluk
41 1373
50  same Bish Bosh Goal
Simon Purnell
66 1363
51  same Racing Club Skegness
Andrew Swift
61 1320
52  same Jarv88
Paul Jarvis
56 1292
53  same DJ’s Trail Blazers
Danian Jones
59 1277

 

Still no team seems capable of catching Aquamar. They’ve been on the rise in the international game too, jumping to 2,602nd in the world. More often than not they’re outscoring most of the Buckets chasing pack, and always maintaining that lead, which currently stands at 80 points. That’s the highest it’s been. They’re chip-less and now wildcard-less – but has playing them early built up an unassailable lead?

Poor When Harry Met Alli, The Craggy Islanders, Biscuitmen, Hedgehog’s and Kebab Eaters have been staring at the back of Aquamar’s head for most of the season. They continue to score above average every week without making any real inroads, and now they’ve got the relentless rise of teams like Rico United and Joey Bosa coming up behind them to contend with. Rico and Joey were barely top 20 at the turn of the year, but now sit in 6th and 8th respectively. All of those in contention for a league prize, or with hopes of catching the leaders hold some kind of chip or have their remaining wildcard. With two (potentially three) more double gameweeks to cram into the final six, their could be more twists and turns.

Aquamar benefited from Palace’s surprise thumping of Arsenal last night. Mamadou Sakho was promoted from the bench to join Wilfried Zaha in their XI to add 17 points. Conversely, Jeff Lamp’s Porsche, despite outscoring everybody else and breaking the 100 point barrier, would have been hoping for a bit more from Alexis Sanchez.  Before last night’s match they were sat on 98 points with hopes of catching the highest weekly score total. Only 2 points were added and it leaves most of us questioning Sanchez’s attitude and his worth (and that of the entire Arsenal squad) in these crunch closing weeks of the season.

However, you couldn’t have named a better player than Heung-Min Son as your captain this week, and that’s what JLP did. These are the kind of ballsy decisions that win you fantasy prizes, so lets see if they can follow that up with a challenge for the April Manager of the month award.

 

Player of the week – Heung-Min Son – 19 points. Can he hold onto his place now that Harry Kane is back?

Bargain of the week – Phil Jagielka – 12 points. Second successive double figure score.

Donkey of the week – Sebastian Larsson – -2 points. Never a sending off

Goal of the week – Dele Alli. Just needs to cut out those shit celebrations.

Gameweek 30 preview

March 30, 2017

Liverpool v Everton
Burnley v Spurs
Chelsea v Crystal Palace
Hull v West Ham
Leicester v Stoke
Man Utd v West Brom
Watford v Sunderland
Southampton v Bournemouth
Swansea v Middlesbrough
Arsenal v Man City

The Buckets Cup has been won and we’ve got the last international break out of the way. It’s a clear run through to the end of the season. Nine more gameweeks to determine our champion. Two more game months – April and May – the first of which is a six week megamonth. And within that six weeks we’ve had the first of the expected end of season double gameweeks announced. Gameweek 34 sees Manchester United, Middlesbrough and Crystal Palace play twice.

And that, by my calculations, leaves the following fixtures left for rescheduling – Arsenal v Sunderland, Chelsea v Watford, Leicester v Spurs, Manchester City v West Brom, Southampton v Manchester United and Southampton v Arsenal. Two outstanding fixtures for Arsenal and Southampton suggests there will be two more double gameweeks – or could we even get a triple header? Apparently we will find out ahead of GW34 as to when those remaining fixtures will take place, so hopefully we should be able to plan exactly when we want to play our remaining wildcards and chips.

How to play the next nine weeks will be key to anyone catching our league leaders, Aquamar, who presently hold a 46 point lead over their nearest rivals and still have their last wildcard, and for what it’s worth, their all out attack chip. They have, however, played both their bench boost and triple captain, leaving the door open for anyone in the chasing pack still holding those assets.

As for this week, we’ve the usual worries over internationalitis to consider. Air miles have been accumulated and niggles and knocks have been picked up. Seamus Coleman broke his leg – in Dublin. Lots of managers will need to consider defensive replacements for him. Arsenal and City play each other on Sunday. That’s surely too important a game for either Sanchez or Aguero to be benched.

Crystal Palace’s upturn in form, which has seen them keep three consecutive clean sheets, will be tested at Cheslea, who haven’t kept one since GW22. They, and many managers will be hoping they can arrest that slide. It’ll be interesting to see if Palace do extend that record further with their double gameweek prospects in mind. The acquisition of Mamadou Sakho looks to be working, and at only £4.7 million, is definitely one to watch. Maybe he’s your Coleman replacement? As are Leicester – remember them – the champions. Finally (just about) justifying their mammoth price tags are Jamie Vardy and Riyadh Mahrez, both sitting high in the form tables.

 

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