Manager of the week – FTM – Stu Smith – 73 points
FTM are the only team to tip the 70 point barrier this gameweek and in doing so they climb seven places and to within sight of the top 10. Many of the usual captain suspects did their bare minimum bagging a goal or a clean sheet to give a respectable double figure return with the armband – Mo Salah and Sergio Aguero among them. Salah was FTM’s highest scorer with 16. Felipe Anderson was perhaps the star differential, contributing 9 more points to his total, following a 13 point haul last week. The West Ham winger was transferred in by almost 140,000 teams worldwide ahead of their game against Huddersfield this weekend – a tactic worth considering. And that ownership may continue to rise given the favourable run of fixtures his team face from GW14 into the new year.
Player of the week – Juan Foyth – Tottenham Hotspur – 15 points
If you’re a defender and you score and keep a clean sheet you can be almost guaranteed the top bonus marks. Doesn’t matter how shit you play for the rest of the ninety minutes. I’m not sure I’d be rushing to get this guy in. He conceded two penalties last week and despite his 15 points, looked shaky and out of his depth. I’m pretty sure Spurs fans will be a lot happier when either Davinson Sanchez or Jan Vertonghen are back from their injuries. I’m not having him at £5 million either.
Bargain of the week – Salamon Rondon – Newcastle United – 12 points
Promises to be as inconsistent in black and white stripes as he was in blue and white stripes. Rondon has scored the first two of the eight or nine goals he’ll get this season. I predict his next brace will come sometime over Christmas before a four week lay off through injury.
Twat of the week – Dale Stephens – Brighton and Hove Albion – -2 points
Fully deserved twattage for not only out-dirtying, but also losing to a Warnock side.
Goal of the week – Ilkay Gundogan. 4,216,542,164 passes turning Manchester United inside out. Unfortunately I can only find a video with the last two.