1  up Neil Madrid
Neil Strong
56 1485
2  down But Da Pitch Ain’t 1
Trev Reams
40 1481
3  same The Craggy Islanders
Adrian Roche
58 1465
4  same Perfidious Albion
Andrew Swift
67 1462
5  up FTM
Stu Smith
47 1413
6  up Bielsa Ringing
Alan Hardy
55 1408
7  down Edgbaston
Micheal Dinneen
33 1402
8  same Thelma and Luiz
Trevor Gordon
43 1396
9  up FC Caligula
Ajay Supeda
57 1395
10  down Frostee Rucker
Paul Bentz
42 1394
11  down Game of Stones
Ryan Garoghan
30 1376
12  same INIT FC
Mustafa khan
38 1371
13  same SLABHEAD FC
Adam Burnett
38 1360
14  up Deeney in a Bottle
Stephanie Cripps
53 1359
15  up Shoelace Untied
Caroline Strong
66 1356
16  down Aribo Haribo
Paul Hawkins
37 1349
17  down King raggg
Steven Darling
46 1349
18  same Upper Bullens
Andy Taylor
44 1320
52 1319
20  down Cookie fc
Peter Cook
47 1318
21  same Rip Roaring Reds
Sean Whyton
53 1310
22  same Nashton Villa
Jaime Nash
40 1300
23  up Musttryharder fc
Paul Telford
57 1294
24  down Fake Madrid
Andrew Wade
37 1292
25  down Mour Salt and Pep
Noel Driver
40 1292
26  down PenshawPerformers
david bruce
36 1282
27  same Your Ad Here
Matthew Hopkins
40 1280
28  up Kompany & Co
39 1271
29  down Dinamo Spinks
David Spinks
29 1270
30  up Pretty Schitty City
Alex Michaluk
57 1265
31  same romeoshondavan
Rob Hewer
37 1256
32  down Morningblues
Jeff Morning
32 1255
33  up Hoose Reus
James Whitfield
56 1248
34  up Kebab Eaters Utd
Paul Howard
57 1248
35  down Need son luck
Matt Jarvis
37 1246
71 1232
37  same Salah Buffoon!!!
Jitesh Lakhani
49 1231
38  down Dropit like its Hart
Jason Earwicker
45 1229
39  down Crazy Leg XI
David Caldicott
54 1228
40  down Real Jorvik
Simon Brown
53 1223
41  same El Loco No Joko
Paul Murray
62 1215
42  same The Big Lewandowski
Paul Callaghan
58 1210
43  same Hemel Hotspurs
Paul Jarvis
57 1208
44  same ClipityKlopptotitle
tanya thursby
51 1198
45  same It’s coming home
scott mcgow
23 1168
46  same Pique Blinders
Colin Goulding
33 1161
47  same Atlético Chappers
Richard Chapman
42 1161
48  same Puddle Splash Van
Ian Williams
38 1146
49  up The Mindless Morons
John Seacroft
48 1129
50  down Greeeenteeam
adam greenwood
41 1124
51  same Ross’s champions
darren frankland
36 1021

January Manager of the Month – Paul Hawkins – Aribo Haribo – 257 points

They clung on in the end, but last season’s champs and last week’s manager of the week make it over the line to be January’s manager of the month. They pinched it by a point and that point came courtesy of their bench boost. One single solitary point from a bench boost would otherwise be a disaster, but in this case…? Although I’m sure Aribo were hoping for a little more. And that’s one chip they won’t be able to play come double gameweek time. Nevertheless it earns them their regular place on the role of honour and £40.

1  same Aribo Haribo
Paul Hawkins
37 257
2  same FTM
Stu Smith
47 256
3  up Kebab Eaters Utd
Paul Howard
57 252
4  up Neil Madrid
Neil Strong
56 250
5  down But Da Pitch Ain’t 1
Trev Reams
40 248
6  up Musttryharder fc
Paul Telford
57 247


Manager of the week – Dorine Reacher – Queen of the North – 71 points

There were goals around this week, but scores stayed relatively average. QOTN were the only team to tip the 70 point barrier proving you don’t have to captain Mo Salah every week to earn a big score. Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang’s 12 points doubled to 24 in a blank week for the Liverpool forward. PEA’s fixture against Cardiff was always likely to provide more points, but the majority of us feared Salah too much. QOTN already have a cup bye. That draw will be made imminently

Player of the week – Josh King – Bournemouth – 16 points

It was an off week for the top six, perhaps explaining the fair to middling end totals. Bournemouth stuffed Chelsea, keeping a clean sheet in the process – their second in a row. Everton and Wolves were the only other two teams not to concede – three teams hardly known for the clean sheet prowess. Newcastle and Liverpool restricted the City and Liverpool assets respectively. Josh King returned the highest score contributing to three of Bournemouth’s four goals. It’s his third double figure score and he moves onto eight goals for the season. Well worth a look given Callum Wilson is likely to be missing a few games with injury.

Bargain of the week – Fernando Llorente – Tottenham Hotspur – 12 points

It’s been a mixed start to Llorente’s run in the Spurs side. An own goal in his first match was followed up by two cup defeats. And he could have had a hat trick of sitters last night. It doesn’t look as if Spurs are planning to bring anyone else in to cover Harry Kane’s absence, so Llorente looks likely to get starts. He played alongside Son against Watford, finally managing to score in the right end and assisting his South Korean team mate.

Twat of the week – Lucas Digne – Everton – -2 points

Double twat alert. He follows up a 25 yard own goal with a 12 minute sending off. Brilliant twatness. Consecutive weeks of twatdom is rare, normally reserved for Jose Holebas and Kyle Naughton. He joins an exclusive club – all of them full/wing backs. Actually – lets go for triple twat. He’s been brought into so many teams and then there’s a timely announcement of an Everton double gameweek. He’ll only play in one game. Well done Lucas. Twisted fantasy league.

Goal of the week – Calum Chambers.



End of season results

May 23, 2017

up The Craggy Islanders
Adrian Roche
85 2315
down When Harry met Alli
Trevor Gordon
80 2312
same Aquamar 15
Noel Driver
77 2274
up Kebab Eaters Utd
Paul Howard
110 2255

The Craggy Islanders are our champions. By three points. I think that might be our closest finish yet. It was looking at one point, before the bonuses came in, that it might end up being a tie. I’m glad it wasn’t. I didn’t fancy the season long count back of goals scored. The Islanders won the last weekly battle 85 to 80 – the five point gap enough to take over at the top. WHMA played the All Out Attack, but to no avail. It wouldn’t have made a difference had they not bothered.

The Islanders started this season as our first manager of the week and then spent most of the next three months coming and going, in and out of the top 10. They hit a century in gameweek 14 climbing back to the summit. From that moment on they never left the top four, clinging on to first for six weeks between 16 and 22, and then next appearing in top spot when it really mattered – gameweek 38.

Meaning When Harry Met Alli must settle for second place for the second successive year. They were always in the mix. They never dropped out of the top 10 but for one week in December. From the turn of the year they took up residence in the top four and never fell below that. They were at the head of the group of teams trying to peg back Aquamar through the last third of the season, managing to take the lead in gameweek 37. Perhaps their decision to play their bench boost a week earlier than The Islanders cost them the title. We’ll never know.

And we’ll never know whether Aquamar’s itchy transfer finger cost them the top prize. Sitting in the top 3,000 worldwide in gameweek 32 with an 80 point lead over their nearest Buckets challenger, they went on a complete transfer bender making 19 in the last six weeks. Not having Harry Kane to play out the final two weeks, however, was probably the biggest handicap. It was a season of what might have been for Aquamar, also finishing runners-up in the Buckets Cup to Shoelace Untied.

Fourth place was a battle to the death with five or so teams continuously changing places over the closing two months of the season. Kebab Eaters United eventually pipped Edgbaston to the last cash prize. Edgbaston finished fifth last year too, but do take home the prize for the May manager of the month and the highest weekly score – a record breaking 181 points in gameweek 37.

Shoelace ploughed all of their energy into winning the cup, taking 76 points worth of hits across three gameweeks in order to outscore their opponents. Curiously, they also climbed the table, proving that taking hits doesn’t necessarily always cost you points. As long as you bring in the right players. It’s not a tactic I’d suggest playing across an entire season.

Rico United were double month winners and Yeboah’s Right Foot won manager of the week more than anyone else, coming out on top four times. That’s probably pretty impressive in a 53 team league. The record still stands at seven in a 26 team league.

Alexis Sanchez topped the player charts by some distance, although had Harry Kane played out a full season, it’s probable he’d have collected more points. He finished joint third with Eden Hazard, and just behind Dele Alli, but missed eight games with injury. Tom Heaton was the top goalkeeper. He kept ten clean sheets, and headed both the saves made and bonus points tables to finish ahead of Hugo Lloris and Thibault Courtois. The Chelsea defence ruled. No-one got close to Cahill, Alonso and Azpilicueta. Kane, Hazard, Kevin De Bruyne and Romelu Lukaku topped the bonus charts, all scoring 33. Marcos Alonso’s value rose the most over the course of the season, £0.9 million to £6.9 million.

Picking a bargain buy of the season hasn’t been as easy as last year when we had so many Leicester players to choose from. West Brom’s second top scorer, Gareth McAuley, deserves a mention. The 804 year old defender started as a £4.5 million back up in many teams but probably lasted the distance thanks to his steady return of goals and clean sheets – up until the point that West Brom reached 40 points and they got the holiday brochures out. Josh King’s second half of the season was as prolific as any of the elite forward players in the league. Only Sanchez and Alli scored more from midfield. From gameweek 20 onwards he contributed in 13 of the 18 games he played in. Expect a position change and starting price rise for next season.

See you then.

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