Gameweek 5 preview

Chelsea v Liverpool
Hull v Arsenal
Leicester v Burnley
Man City v Bournemouth
West Brom v West Ham
Everton v Middlesbrough
Watford v Man Utd
Crystal Palace v Stoke
Southampton v Swansea
Spurs v Sunderland

Beware of the Friday night kick off. Diego Costa has contributed in every game so far. Can he keep that run going against a Liverpool defence who still haven’t kept a clean sheet? Or will he just get booked…again? John Terry is injured and is likely to be replaced by David Luiz. Dare you? The Liverpool midfield is flush with point scoring potential with six players on double figures. No-one can match that. Adam Lallana, Roberto Firmino, Philippe Coutinho and Sadio Mane are taking turns in challenging for player of the week. Chelsea are also finding it difficult to keep clean sheets – they only have one. Whose turn could it be this week? 

Etienne Capoue has proved he was no one week, or two week wonder. His three goals and eight bonus marks mean he is an unexpected overall points leader. Is he this year’s Mahrez? In the week that most managers shipped out Deeney and Ighalo, they obliged by bagging 17 points between them, so Watford may not be the lost cause that a lot of people maybe predicted they’d be. Record signing Roberto Pereyra has brought a daft haircut and some craft and flair honed in Turin to their midfield. His two appearances have provided a goal and an assist. It may be another week that the many of us relying on Manchester United clean sheets are left disappointed. 

As well as United only Spurs, Everton and West Brom have kept two clean sheets in their four games thus far. And all could continue that trend. West Ham travel to the Hawthorns looking as shaky as Sunderland, who must try and get past Spurs. Everton welcome Middlesbrough, who, despite the promising start, are the lowest scorers in the top half. 

And is this the last chance saloon for Leicester City? Remember them? If they don’t do to Burnley what they were doing to City, United and Chelsea last season, is it finally time to spend the money elsewhere? Vardy and Mahrez ain’t £5 million anymore. There are safer bets for points in their price bracket.

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Season preview

1 FC Caligula Ajay Supeda 48 2,261
2 The Kolarov Mané Trevor Gordon 76 2,245
3 Your Ad Here Matthew Hopkins 37 2,234
4 Shoelace Untied Caroline Strong 57 2,215
5 Edgbaston Micheal Dinneen 64 2,210
6 Rocky Ba Bauer P Hawkins 38 2,190
7 Game of Throw ins Darren Lavelle 42 2,162
8 Golden Boys Stephanie Cripps 41 2,158
9 Init fc Mustafa khan 65 2,149
10 Walking with Memphis Noel Driver 86 2,148
11 Atlético Chappers Richard Chapman 55 2,124
12 Sergio Five O DEAN CRIPPS 55 2,101
13 JonniestaRedmondinho David Spinks 39 2,086
14 Neil Madrid Neil Strong 59 2,082
15 Bicuitmen Chris Morton 35 2,074
16 4 Lime Jellies Ian Williams 41 2,068
17 SS3 FC Paul Murray 44 2,055
18 scotty2hotty scott mcgow 47 2,054
19 The Craggy Islanders Adrian Roche 52 2,053
20 Howayman Mark Bromham 38 2,052
21 Hedgehog Corpse FC Nick Smith 38 2,036
22 Gaalacticos Colin Goulding 41 2,024
23 Grievous AngelRangel Andrew Swift 37 2,016
24 Uriah Rennie 2nd XI Neil Greenwood 42 2,005
25 Pretty Schitty City Alex Michaluk 26 1,993
26 Romeo’s Honda Van Rob Hewer 15 1,990
27 Bermie Utd Glen Davies 32 1,983
28 Rip Roaring Reds Sean Whyton 47 1,957
29 Below Par Paul Bentz 32 1,945
30 Panza Grande XI Stuart Baker 36 1,943
31 RICO UNITED JASON REACHER 54 1,936
32 greensmeansbusiness adam greenwood 16 1,928
33 The Mindless Morons John Seacroft 29 1,905
34 The Hardy Boys Alan Hardy 42 1,902
35 Release The Hounds Paul Mitchell 49 1,883
36 Upper Bullens Andy Taylor 47 1,872
37 Sweet Cherry Pie Jason Earwicker 21 1,870
38 Go Buffoons Go!!! Jitesh Lakhani 39 1,801
39 Crazy Legs XI David Caldicott 27 1,792
40 Ciderheads Darren Pope 56 1,783
41 Baker Bum Boys Lewis Baker 27 1,781
42 Bish Bosh Goal Simon Purnell 31 1,578
43 REAL JORVIK Simon Brown 45 1,553
44 BrussiaHairbach Alex Ritchie 38 1,439

 

There’s your end of season table. FC Caligula are champions. Congratulations to them. Not only that – they’re also cup winners. They’re the first team to achieve a Buckets league and cup double. Add to that the fact that they’re a Leicester fan, and you might be forgiven for wanting to smash their face in. Much like Leicester, they started well, and basically got better. They never sank lower than eight place, rising to the summit in week 24 and staying there for all but one other week. In total they collect £405 in prize money, the highest in Buckets history.

At the half way point, The Kolarov Mane were 21st and had been rattling around in mid table for most of the first half of the season. Their rise began around gameweek 23 when they jumped 10 places from 14th to 4th. After a slight dip into the lower reaches of the top 10, they climbed gradually again up until week 34 when they hit 190 points in the first double gameweek and cemented their place in among the challengers for the league. That 190 points is another record. No team has scored more than that in one week in Buckets history. It’ll take some beating. If anything, it was their below average performance in double gameweek 37 that put them just out of reach of a title challenge, although they bounced back to post the second highest score of the last gameweek to clinch second.

Your Ad Here were third. The former cup winners went one place higher than their previous best performance, but will be disappointed not to have finished second – a position which they had held since gameweek 26. They’d also briefly held top spot in gameweek 25. A bad week 38, which saw only ten of their players take the field (in their flip flops) saw them give way to The Kolarov Mane.

Completing the top four are Shoelace, finishing in the prize money spots for the first time. It was another late charge following a slow start and a sluggish middle period. They were outside the top ten as recently as gameweek 29 and only appeared in the top four for the first time last week.

An honourable mention must go to the Golden Boys who eventually finished 8th. They never sank any lower than that position all season having taken the lead in gameweek 10 and holding it for 14 weeks. Unfortunately they go away empty handed having not managed to pinch a monthly prize. In fact they only won one weekly prize despite their early season dominance.

The manager of the week record remains intact – Romeo’s bagged seven two seasons ago. Walking With Memphis and SS3 FC both scooped three weekly awards, with a host of other teams managing a double. We had ten different managers of the month this season. I’m pretty sure we’ve always had one team managing a double or treble of manager awards – but then we’ve never had a 44 team league before.

In the real world Leicester (who else) dominated the player and team awards. They picked up eight player of the week awards across the two categories and only one donkey. Mahrez and Vardy finished first and second in the overall scoring charts. The highest scoring goalkeeper and defender both came from Arsenal – Petr Cech and Hector Bellerin. The Gunners had two other defensive players in the team of the season (jump to the bottom of this page).

Sergio Aguero scored the most single weekly points – 26 in gameweek 34. Several teams triple captained him to a 78 point total. That’s the new highest single gameweek score in Buckets history. Aguero also managed 25 points in gameweek eight, a total which was matched by Georginio Wijnaldum the following week.

Southampton scored seven player of the week awards, with both Manchester City and Sunderland managing six. No one player dominated the player awards. Kane, Aguero, Mahrez, Kevin De Bruyne and the mighty Andy King all picked up two weekly awards.

Chelsea led the way in the donkey race with five – two each for Thibaut Courtois and John Terry. Kyle Naughton was the only player to sink to -4, somewhat unluckily, as he eventually had his red card rescinded.

Leicester also hit six contenders for goal of the season – three each from Vardy and Mahrez. Liverpool equaled that, including two each from Philippe Coutinho and Daniel Sturridge. Dele Alli and Andros Townsend also appeared on the goal of the week list twice. Manchester United, incidentally, had no goal of the season contenders. Everyone will have their own favourite. I’ve got a soft spot for the Mahrez goals against Chelsea and Manchester City. The’re still trying to untwist Cesar Azpilicueta. Vardy’s record breaking goal was typical Vardy, but the pass from Christian Fuchs made it a million times better than it first appeared. The Vardy volley against Liverpool and the Alli volley against Palace seem to be the favourites of the pundits, but my choice is Cuco Martina’s bender for Southampton against Arsenal. There’s an angle from behind the strike where you get the full on Roberto Carlos-ness of it. It’s going out for a throw, then it’s in the net. And he can’t fucking believe it can he?

 

 

Team of the Season

  • GK – Petr Cech – Arsenal – 159 points
  • DR – Hector Bellerin – Arsenal – 172 points
  • DC – Toby Alderweireld – Tottenham Hotspur – 166 points
  • DC – Laurent Koscielny – Arsenal – 153 points
  • DL – Nacho Monreal – Arsenal – 152 points
  • DM – Mark Noble – West Ham United – 133 points
  • MR – Christian Eriksen – Tottenham Hotspur – 178 points
  • MC – Mesut Ozil – Arsenal – 200 points
  • ML – Riyad Mahrez – Leicester City – 240 points
  • CF – Jamie Vardy – Leicester City – 211 points
  • CF – Harry Kane – Tottenham Hotspur – 211 points

 

Bargains of the season

  • GK – Heurelho Gomes – Watford – 157 points (starting price – £4.5 million)
  • DR – Craig Dawson – West Bromwich Albion – 124 (£5 million)
  • DL – Christian Fuchs – Leicester City – 150 points (£5million)
  • DC – Wes Morgan – Leicester City – 139 points (£4.5 million)
  • DC – Robert Huth – Leicester City – 140 (£4.5 million)
  • DM – Danny Drinkwater – Leicester City – 129 points (£4.5 million)
  • ML – Marko Arnautovic – Stoke City – 165 points (£6 million)
  • MC – Dele Alli – Tottenham Hotspur – 166 points (£5 million)
  • MR – Michail Antonio – West Ham United – 126 points (£6 million)
  • CF – Odion Ighalo – Watford – 175 points (£5 million)
  • CF – Troy Deeney – Watford – 166 points (£5.5 million)

 

 

 

Gameweek 37 results

1 FC Caligula Ajay Supeda 84 2,217
2 Your Ad Here Matthew Hopkins 76 2,201
3 The Kolarov Mané Trevor Gordon 69 2,177
4 Shoelace Untied Caroline Strong 69 2,158
5 Rocky Ba Bauer P Hawkins 50 2,156
6 Edgbaston Micheal Dinneen 114 2,146
7 Game of Throw ins Darren Lavelle 93 2,120
8 Golden Boys Stephanie Cripps 61 2,117
9 Init fc Mustafa khan 110 2,092
10 Walking with Memphis Noel Driver 99 2,070
11 Atlético Chappers Richard Chapman 68 2,069
12 JonniestaRedmondinho David Spinks 97 2,051
13 Sergio Five O DEAN CRIPPS 41 2,046
14 Bicuitmen Chris Morton 65 2,039
15 4 Lime Jellies Ian Williams 59 2,035
16 Neil Madrid Neil Strong 95 2,027
17 Howayman Mark Bromham 66 2,014
18 SS3 FC Paul Murray 47 2,011
19 scotty2hotty scott mcgow 55 2,007
20 The Craggy Islanders Adrian Roche 80 2,005
21 Hedgehog Corpse FC Nick Smith 80 2,002
22 Gaalacticos Colin Goulding 80 1,987
23 Grievous AngelRangel Andrew Swift 62 1,979
24 Romeo’s Honda Van Rob Hewer 62 1,975
25 Pretty Schitty City Alex Michaluk 41 1,967
26 Uriah Rennie 2nd XI Neil Greenwood 86 1,963
27 Bermie Utd Glen Davies 52 1,951
28 Below Par Paul Bentz 53 1,913
29 greensmeansbusiness adam greenwood 52 1,912
30 Rip Roaring Reds Sean Whyton 88 1,910
31 Panza Grande XI Stuart Baker 50 1,907
32 RICO UNITED JASON REACHER 79 1,882
33 The Mindless Morons John Seacroft 69 1,876
34 The Hardy Boys Alan Hardy 56 1,860
35 Sweet Cherry Pie Jason Earwicker 72 1,849
36 Release The Hounds Paul Mitchell 63 1,834
37 Upper Bullens Andy Taylor 44 1,825
38 Crazy Legs XI David Caldicott 92 1,765
39 Go Buffoons Go!!! Jitesh Lakhani 71 1,762
40 Baker Bum Boys Lewis Baker 52 1,754
41 Ciderheads Darren Pope 58 1,727
42 Bish Bosh Goal Simon Purnell 47 1,547
43 REAL JORVIK Simon Brown 32 1,508
44 BrussiaHairbach Alex Ritchie 51 1,401

 

There were more goals scored in this gameweek than there were in the other monster double gameweek of a few weeks ago but Buckets totals weren’t as high. Probably due to the fact that the highest scoring players of the week came from Norwich and Sunderland, and not from West Ham and Manchester United, as I think most people expected. The popular choices for (triple) captain seemed to be Dimitri Payet and Anthony Martial. They didn’t disappoint necessarily, but a punt on Lamine Kone – and it would have been one hell of a punt – would have bagged you a potential 63 points.

Still, we had some 100+ scores. Kudos to Init FC and Edgbaston with 110 and a week winning 114 points respectively. Edgbaston triple captained Jermain Defoe, and picked up another 18 points from Patrick Van Aanholt, capitalising on Sunderland’s dominant week. Seven other double gameweekers and useful single game scores from Kevin De Bruyne and Sergio Aguero did the trick .

Init bench boosted to good effect, picking up an extra 23 points. Their choice of captain let them down. Andy Carroll only contributed six points. They also had Defoe and Van Aanholt. A captaincy punt on either of them would have made them clear weekly winners.

…And put them in pole position for the May manager of the month. Two weeks worth of scores decide it. Here’s the table as it stands – basically this week’s highest scorers…

1 Edgbaston Micheal Dinneen 114 114
2 Init fc Mustafa khan 110 110
3 Walking with Memphis Noel Driver 99 99
4 JonniestaRedmondinho David Spinks 97 97
5 Neil Madrid Neil Strong 95 95
6 Game of Throw ins Darren Lavelle 93 93
7 Crazy Legs XI David Caldicott 92 92

 

Should Init win it they’ll be the only team to pick up two monthly awards, having also taken the September prize.

 

1 FC Caligula Ajay Supeda 84 2,217
2 Your Ad Here Matthew Hopkins 76 2,201
3 The Kolarov Mané Trevor Gordon 69 2,177
4 Shoelace Untied Caroline Strong 69 2,158
5 Rocky Ba Bauer P Hawkins 50 2,156
6 Edgbaston Micheal Dinneen 114 2,146
7 Game of Throw ins Darren Lavelle 93 2,120
8 Golden Boys Stephanie Cripps 61 2,117

As we go into the final week it’s still too close to call. Caligula have extended their lead over Your Ad Here to 16 points. The two teams have been trading blows at the top for the last few months. No sooner do YAH get back to within spitting distance, than Caligula pull away the following week. The Kolarov Mane are 24 points further back, and who knows, maybe still in contention themselves for the top spot. That is probably just out of reach for Shoelace, who will also have to be careful of Rocky Ba Bauer, Edgbaston, Game of Throw Ins and long time leaders, Golden Boys, who all realistically have a chance of at least fourth place.

 

Player of the week – Lamine Kone – 21 points. Keeping them in the Premier League.

Bargain of the week – Andy King – 13 points. Another Leicester weekly award – they’ve had the most.

Donkey of the week – John Terry – -2 points. The last we’ll see of him. Possibly

Goal of the week – Eden Hazard. What a prick. Obviously realised he needs to play to get a move.

Gameweek 3 results

1 greensmeansbusiness adam greenwood 58 169
2 Walking with Memphis Noel Driver 61 155
3 FC Caligula Ajay Supeda 55 152
3 Pretty Schitty City Alex Michaluk 55 152
5 4 Lime Jellies Ian Williams 55 150
6 Golden Boys Stephanie Cripps 48 149
7 Below Par Paul Bentz 58 143
7 Game of Throw ins Darren Lavelle 66 143
7 The Kolarov Mané Trevor Gordon 60 143
10 scotty2hotty scott mcgow 69 143
11 What’s Up????? DEAN CRIPPS 46 133
12 Rocky Ba Bauer P Hawkins 53 132
13 Grievous AngelRangel Andrew Swift 34 131
14 Howayman Mark Bromham 61 130
15 Your Ad Here Matthew Hopkins 62 129
16 Sweet Cherry Pie Jason Earwicker 35 127
17 Release The Hounds Paul Mitchell 56 126
18 Gaalacticos Colin Goulding 41 126
19 Bermie Utd Glen Davies 42 125
20 JonniestaRedmondinho David Spinks 58 124
20 Init fc Mustafa khan 57 124
22 Ciderheads Darren Pope 46 121
23 Romeo’s Honda Van Rob Hewer 52 121
24 Upper Bullens Andy Taylor 58 119
25 Hedgehog Corpse FC Nick Smith 55 119
26 SS3 FC Paul Murray 31 116
27 Crazy Legs XI David Caldicott 32 115
28 Neil Madrid Neil Strong 42 115
29 Atlético Chappers Richard Chapman 43 115
30 The Craggy Islanders Adrian Roche 62 114
31 Panza Grande XI Stuart Baker 37 113
32 It Doesn’t Mata Elliott O’Bray 48 111
33 RICO UNITED JASON REACHER 29 110
33 The Hardy Boys Alan Hardy 48 110
35 Go Buffoons Go!!! Jitesh Lakhani 35 109
35 Rip Roaring Reds Sean Whyton 37 109
37 Shoelace Untied Caroline Strong 47 107
38 Edgbaston Micheal Dinneen 50 107
39 REAL JORVIK Simon Brown 43 106
40 Bicuitmen Chris Morton 49 106
41 Uriah Rennie 2nd XI Neil Greenwood 48 103
42 BrussiaHairbach Alex Ritchie 34 102
43 Baker Bum Boys Lewis Baker 40 96
44 Bish Bosh Goal Simon Purnell 26 94
45 The Mindless Morons John Seacroft 31 77

Manager of the week this week is another one of our new boys, Scotty2hotty, with 69 points. It’s our highest weekly score of the season. They’re gradually going up as managers get into their stride after a sluggish start. It places them in the top 10 and in with an outside shot of the first manager of the month prize. They key to their success was handing the captaincy to Riyad Mahrez, who scored his third double figure score in three weeks. It’s his fourth goal in three. He’s the leading player in the game and his value will probably hit the £6 million mark by the weekend. It’s an impressive and unexpected start for the Leicester winger.

The August manager of the month looks like it’s going to go to one of our new managers. Flying the flag for the old school in the top 10 are 4 Lime Jellies, Below Par and Pretty Schitty City. Greensmeansbusiness maintain their lead at the top, with Walking With Memphis jumping into second.

Callum Wilson became the first player to bag a hat trick this season, and after two none scoring weeks will probably have saved himself from the chop from a number of teams. He’s the first of the newly promoted team’s strikers for whom so many take a punt on to register a meaningful total. Troy Deeney and Cameron Jerome have yet to get up and running, but at least Watford and Norwich are in among the goals and it could only be a matter of time before they get their names on the scoresheet.

I dare say more people will be concerned and losing patience with Wayne Rooney than anyone else. The early season uncertainty over Aguero, Sanchez and Costa’s game time made Rooney the most popular elite striker pick. Omitting Rooney would free up the funds to invest in those three. Rooney’s value has already started to drop.

Player of the week – Callum Wilson – 17 points. The highest weekly score so far.

Bargain of the week – James Morrison – 12 points. West Brom’s first goals of the season.

Donkey of the week – John Terry – -3 points. Three weeks and two Chelsea donkeys. Perfect.

Goal of the week – Riyad Mahrez. Should be August’s player of the month. Goal comes in at 2m50s

Gameweek 34 results

1 Neil Madrid Neil Strong 71 1,940
2 Pescara Rangers Stewart Pope 73 1,905
3 Hedgehog Corpse FC Nick Smith 66 1,898
4 RayCrawfordsCrackers Rob Hewer 60 1,855
5 NaboombuDirtyYellows Andrew Swift 50 1,850
6 Shoelace Untied Caroline Strong 69 1,849
7 * Your Ad Here * Matthew Hopkins 72 1,846
8 Uriah Rennie 2nd XI Neil Greenwood 60 1,824
9 Upper Bullens Andy Taylor 52 1,818
10 Gaalatcticos Colin Goulding 57 1,810
11 Van Damme United P Hawkins 64 1,799
12 Bermie Utd Glen Davies 56 1,770
13 Ciderheads Darren Pope 49 1,767
14 Accrington Rudyard Ian Williams 58 1,745
15 Pretty Schitty City Alex Michaluk 80 1,741
16 Paris Spinks Germain David Spinks 65 1,740
17 Who R U DEAN CRIPPS 55 1,733
18 Biscuitmen Chris Morton 59 1,730
19 Rip Roaring Reds Sean Whyton 61 1,699
20 The Mindless Morons John Seacroft 53 1,692
21 Panza Grande XI Stuart Baker 55 1,667
22 Get to the choppa Mark Bromham 58 1,650
23 Real Jorvik FC Simon Brown 68 1,615
24 Luxembourg United Simon Smallbone 72 1,610
25 No Recognized Plan Paul Bentz 45 1,585
26 Sportingabiggerwig Alex Ritchie 57 1,574
27 Release The Hounds Paul Mitchell 64 1,557
28 Crazylegs XI David Caldicott 51 1,500
29 Jordie’s Giants Jordan Raper 39 1,217

 

Well that gameweek didn’t exactly live up to it’s expectations. Calculate a mini league out of the four teams playing twice and you’d unexpectedly have Hull at the top and frustratingly for most of us, find Liverpool at the bottom. The average score worldwide was only 52 points. In most double gameweeks the majority of managers are normally pushing 100. I suspect that if we’d all taken a punt on a few more Hull players maybe some of the 60’s and 70’s that were prevalent among Buckets managers would have been transformed into 80’s and 90’s. No-one would have predicted that the top scoring players of the week would be Michael Dawson and Steve Harper. No-one did. Probably anywhere other than Hull. There were seven clean sheets from the six matches involving Chelsea, Leicester, Hull and Liverpool – including two 0-0 draws. Whereas we expect to see midfielders and attackers prosper over double gameweeks, this time it was defenders and goalies on top.

Our manager of the week was Pretty Schitty City. PSC went the Chelsea Leicester route. Cahill and Terry managed double figure scores from a clean sheet each, a goal and assist between them, and a couple of bonus marks (for Terry). Cesc Fabregas picked up eight points courtesy of one assist in the Leicester match. Their best player was Jamie Vardy. Vardy was a popular cheeky alternative on the captain front and didn’t disappoint. He contributed 24 of PSC’s 80 points. Eden Hazard returned a fairly measly 5 points, and only Martin Skrtel made it out of double figures for Liverpool.

Second highest score of the week was a 73 by Pescara Rangers and that was enough to secure April manager of the month. It was never really in doubt. Pescara could have scored as low as the high 50’s and still nicked the award.

1 Pescara Rangers Stewart Pope 73 282
2 Van Damme United P Hawkins 64 266
3 RayCrawfordsCrackers Rob Hewer 60 262
4 Hedgehog Corpse FC Nick Smith 66 254
5 Neil Madrid Neil Strong 71 251
6 * Your Ad Here * Matthew Hopkins 72 241

 

Pescara’s 73 didn’t really close much of a gap on Neil Madrid at the top. It did lift them back into second place over Hedgehog’s, but other than that all of the top 11 teams remain in the same position as they were last week.

 

Player of the week – Michael Dawson – 21 points. Scoring half as many points again as he already had.

Bargain of the week – Steve Harper – 19 points. More than doubling his total.

Donkey of the week – Charlie Austin – -1 points. A crucial missed penalty

Goal of the week – Ramires. Shit week on the goal front too.