Gameweek 15 results

1  same Hornets
Andrew Wade
65 902
2  up greenyteamy
adam greenwood
81 881
3  down Fun Lovren Criminals
Paul Callaghan
49 853
4  down Gotta Light?
Andrew Swift
47 852
5  same Despicable Mee
Trevor Gordon
36 831
6  up Crazylegs XI
David Caldicott
62 822
7  down Kompany & Co
31 820
8  up The Craggy Islanders
Adrian Roche
61 819
9  down Brexiter City
Colin Goulding
37 816
10  up Rip Roaring Reds
Sean Whyton
65 813
11  down Edgbaston
Micheal Dinneen
40 812
12  down The Vinegar Pissers
P Hawkins
47 804
13  same Nashton Villa
Jaime Nash
50 803
14  up Neil Madrid
Neil Strong
65 797
15  down Atlético Chappers
Richard Chapman
40 796
16  down INIT FC
Mustafa khan
49 793
17  down The winnings R mine
david bruce
44 786
18  up Queen of the north
71 779
19  up King Dunlap
Paul Bentz
51 775
20  up Golden Boys
Stephanie Cripps
63 774
21  down It’sOnlyAGameFarke!
David Spinks
46 773
22  up Rico united
58 767
23  up Klopp of the Pochs
Jason Earwicker
53 762
24  down musttryharder FC
Paul Telford
35 760
25  up Aquamar 1564
Noel Driver
58 758
26  up Flying squad
Matt Jarvis
50 757
26  down Game of Throw-Ins
Ryan Garoghan
46 757
28  up cookster fc
Peter Cook
76 756
29  down FC Caligula
Ajay Supeda
40 750
30  up Pure Buffoonery!
Jitesh Lakhani
55 747
31  up Kebab Eaters Utd
Paul Howard
68 745
32  same Pretty Schitty City
Alex Michaluk
47 743
33  down Jarv88
Paul Jarvis
33 743
34  down Your Ad Here
Matthew Hopkins
46 743
35  up We are Ayling
Paul Murray
54 738
36  down romeoshondavan
Rob Hewer
37 736
37  down Bakerlona FC
Stuart Baker
33 725
38  down Real Jorvik
Simon Brown
27 722
39  up Shoelace Untied
Caroline Strong
57 714
40  same mrs mcgoo
laura barrett
41 713
41  up FTM
Stu Smith
53 707
42  down To Elland Back
Alan Hardy
33 705
43  up Release The Hounds
Paul Mitchell
47 700
44  same Emergency Gap Jumper
Ian Williams
34 691
45  down Upper Bullens
Andy Taylor
36 683
46  up iamgroot
scott mcgow
51 669
47  down Pudding And Pie
John Seacroft
39 667
48  same blakes11
Steven Darling
52 660
49  same disco dancer
darren frankland
38 635
50  same Biscuitmen
Chris Morton
32 554


Manager of the week – Greenyteamy – Adam Greenwood – 81 points

Greenyteamy’s rise continues. They jumped on Eden Hazard’s return to the Chelsea line up back in gameweek 7. In the seven weeks since gameweek 9 he’s contributed in five – three of them have been double figure scores. This week he picked up 15 points and Greenyteamy had him as captain. A few other Buckets managers followed suit and there has been an increase in the ownership of Chelsea assets, particularly Hazard and Morata. Hornets, at the top of our league, captained Morata. As did Fun Lovren Criminals and Gotta Light in third and fourth. This shift has probably been prompted by the run of winnable fixtures Chelsea have between now and the New Year, as well as the complete unreliability of Lukaku and Kane and the slowing down of the Man City express. It seems City are in a groove now of only being able to win games 2-1 with very late winners, which isn’t good for those with City defenders, or a triple of City attackers. Points are being dropped somewhere. It’s worth noting also that Greenyteamy have achieved this rise up the table having never had Kane in their team. So there you go – you don’t need him. But dare you get rid? There’s a double gameweek just been announced. Spurs play twice in gameweek 22. This might seem like a lifetime away but such is the fixture build up it’s actually only in four weeks. So if you do get rid, the likelihood is you’re only going to want to get him back.

Player of the week – Philippe Coutinho – 18 points

Throwing another midfield spanner in the works, Coutinho’s form looks like it could be on the rise again. It’s been an in and out season dogged by injury and constant rumours of his exit to Barcelona. He’s made four double figure scores all season in just eight gameweek appearances, scoring four, making five and picking up 10 bonus points. He’s almost guaranteed to score something if he plays. Liverpool are the new City. Their goal machine has cranked up a gear since the 4-1 hammering to Spurs seven gameweeks ago. They’ve netted 19 times in the last six. And as well as considering the Chelsea fixtures for the next few weeks it may well be worth looking at Liverpool assets, particularly their front four of Coutinho, Firmino, Mane and, of course, Mohamed Salah. Salah should be a mainstay by now anyway. In among the fixture pile up expect at least three of these four to play and watch the points roll in.

Bargain of the week – Jesse Lingard – 15 points

Lingard has two double figure contributions in the last two weeks but the problem is you’re never quite sure whether he’s going to nail down a permanent starting berth in that team. He seems to be in a constant rotation with the likes of Mata, Martial and Rashford, and could quite easily be dropped for the next match. Form dictates he shouldn’t be but it is the Manc derby, so maybe Mourinho will think more defensively for that game.

Twat of the week – Davinson Sanchez – -2 points

Spurs players are not popular at the moment. The defenders are not keeping clean sheets, or in Sanchez’s case, not keeping clean sheets and getting sent off for throwing vicious elbows into the opponent’s winger’s faces. They’re dropping like flies out of fantasy teams and dropping in value. Where has Dele Alli been this season? Playing well in Europe, that’s where.

Goal of the week – Philippe Coutinho.

Gameweek 14 results – November manager of the month

1  same Hornets
Andrew Wade
46 837
2  same Fun Lovren Criminals
Paul Callaghan
43 808
3  up Gotta Light?
Andrew Swift
60 805
4  up greenyteamy
adam greenwood
63 800
5  down Despicable Mee
Trevor Gordon
55 799
6  same Kompany & Co
63 789
7  same Brexiter City
Colin Goulding
65 779
8  up Edgbaston
Micheal Dinneen
57 772
9  down The Vinegar Pissers
P Hawkins
44 761
10  up Crazylegs XI
David Caldicott
61 760
11  up The Craggy Islanders
Adrian Roche
52 758
12  up Atlético Chappers
Richard Chapman
67 756
13  up Nashton Villa
Jaime Nash
55 753
14  down INIT FC
Mustafa khan
39 752
15  down Rip Roaring Reds
Sean Whyton
47 748
16  down The winnings R mine
david bruce
53 742
17  down Neil Madrid
Neil Strong
45 740
18  down It’sOnlyAGameFarke!
David Spinks
38 727
19  up musttryharder FC
Paul Telford
65 725
20  down King Dunlap
Paul Bentz
50 724
21  up FC Caligula
Ajay Supeda
52 714
22  down Queen of the north
39 712
23  down Golden Boys
Stephanie Cripps
40 711
24  up Game of Throw-Ins
Ryan Garoghan
55 711
25  down Jarv88
Paul Jarvis
46 710
26  up Klopp of the Pochs
Jason Earwicker
55 709
27  down Rico united
44 709
28  down Flying squad
Matt Jarvis
58 707
29  up romeoshondavan
Rob Hewer
54 703
30  down Aquamar 1564
Noel Driver
43 700
31  same Your Ad Here
Matthew Hopkins
48 697
32  down Pretty Schitty City
Alex Michaluk
42 696
33  up Real Jorvik
Simon Brown
60 695
34  up Upper Bullens
Andy Taylor
58 695
35  up Bakerlona FC
Stuart Baker
64 692
36  down Pure Buffoonery!
Jitesh Lakhani
48 692
37  down We are Ayling
Paul Murray
42 684
38  down cookster fc
Peter Cook
35 680
39  up Kebab Eaters Utd
Paul Howard
61 677
40  down mrs mcgoo
laura barrett
42 676
41  down To Elland Back
Alan Hardy
38 672
42  down FTM
Stu Smith
30 658
43  up Shoelace Untied
Caroline Strong
43 657
44  up Emergency Gap Jumper
Ian Williams
59 657
45  down Release The Hounds
Paul Mitchell
27 653
46  up Pudding And Pie
John Seacroft
36 628
47  down iamgroot
scott mcgow
37 626
48  same blakes11
Steven Darling
43 616
49  same disco dancer
darren frankland
56 597
50  same Biscuitmen
Chris Morton
44 522


November manager of the month – Greenyteamy – Adam Greenwood – 283 points

Greenyteamy’s monster scores in the first two weeks of the month put them so far out in front it was difficult to see how anyone could catch them. Despite a slight slip up last week, another impressive score this week – only four behind the week’s best – made sure of their monthly victory. Their four week run has seem them leap from twenty-fourth to fourth and into that pack chasing down the Hornets, who still hold a 31 point lead at the top.

Manager of the week – Atletico Chappers – Richard Chapman – 67 points

Up into 12th and finishing 3rd in the November table Chappers have also made great strides in the last few weeks climbing from 37th at the end of October. They’ve tried out, and I suppose, been kind of successful, with a rotation of Watford captains for the last four weeks. Either Richarlison or Abdoulaye Doucoure are handed the armband and between them have picked up 4, 12, 6 and 6 points. There have been better options as captain, particularly with Mohamed Salah, Jamie Vardy and Marcos Alonso as ever presents. But had Chappers picked the best scoring of their Watford players each week, they’d have notched scores of 14, 12, 16 and 14 and that would have outscored Harry Kane and Romelu Lukaku combined. So there is some method to this madness.

Player of the week – Mesut Ozil – 17 points

January is approaching so it’s time for Ozil (and Sanchez) to start giving a shit. Since gameweek nine he has scored two and assisted five Arsenal goals. Yet, in that time he has been transferred OUT of more teams and has seen his value drop to £9.3 million. It’s still not all that cheap for a player so unpredictable and there is so much competition in the midfield, but with only a 1.8% (1.8%??!?!?!?!) ownership, having this guy in your team could work in your favour. Nobody else will be scoring those points

Bargain of the week – Ashley Young – 15 points

Watch this value rocket in the coming weeks. Young started the season as a £5 million midfielder and only made his first appearance in gameweek 5 coming in to plug the hole in United’s left back area. He’s been an ever present since that game and has been a stand-out performer in recent weeks. The last three have garnered two goals, two assists, six bonus points and 29 points overall. It’s tricky to second guess managers and who knows what’s going to happen as the December fixture pile-up kicks in, but he seems to have that position nailed at the moment. The potential is there for more, particularly when Jose opts to play with three at the back and pushes the wing backs further forward. It’s a shame we don’t get clean sheet points for his displays as well. He’d be an absolute must-have as a defender.

Twat of the week – Pablo Zabaleta – -1 points

Just when you thought Everton were the most massively under-achieving and overpaid wastes of money in the league – you’re reminded of West Ham. Zabaleta probably should have seen red after getting away with a worse challenge than the one that saw him pick up his yellow card. There is little sense in having a West Ham defender in your team.

Goal of the week – Jamie Vardy.

Probably ten contenders. But as I rather stubbornly and unforgiving think any footballer worth their salt should be able to kick the ball into an empty net from 60 yards (Rooney) or run with a ball unchallenged for 60 yards (Lingard), I’ll give it to the most skillful goal of the (Tuesday) night. Goal at 2 minutes in.

Gameweek 29 results

same Aquamar 15
Noel Driver
72 1658
up When Harry met Alli
Trevor Gordon
80 1612
down Hedgehog Corpse FC
Nick Smith
66 1602
same The Craggy Islanders
Adrian Roche
64 1590
same Biscuitmen
Chris Morton
62 1580
up FC Caligula
Ajay Supeda
90 1567
down Kebab Eaters Utd
Paul Howard
72 1567
71 1564
down To Elland Back
Alan Hardy
75 1557
10  up Edgbaston
Micheal Dinneen
75 1541
11  down Uriah Rennie 2nd XI
Neil Greenwood
64 1540
12  up Joey Bosa
Paul Bentz
78 1531
13  up Atlético Chappers
Richard Chapman
66 1530
14  up Neil Madrid
Neil Strong
71 1520
15  up Upper Bullens
Andy Taylor
62 1519
16  up Go Buffoons Go
Jitesh Lakhani
67 1517
17  down greenyteamy
adam greenwood
37 1516
18  down Rip Roaring Reds
Sean Whyton
60 1516
19  down Cooksters
Peter Cook
47 1515
20  up Yeboah’s Right Foot
Paul Murray
72 1514
21  up Your Ad Here
Matthew Hopkins
67 1514
22  down INIT FC
Mustafa khan
62 1509
23  down 4 Fuchs Ake
Jason Earwicker
40 1507
24  up romeoshondavan
Rob Hewer
65 1473
25  down Jeff Lamp’s Porsche
David Spinks
63 1470
26  up Have a little dink
Ian Williams
83 1457
57 1455
28  down nO fucHs given
Paul Callaghan
62 1455
29  down RG XV
Ryan Garoghan
52 1446
30  down Jarvis FC
Matt Jarvis
47 1436
31  down 30:19
Darren Lavelle
47 1435
32  up Shoelace Untied
Caroline Strong
97 1429
33  up Release The Hounds
Paul Mitchell
47 1417
34  down Hucking Fell
P Hawkins
45 1413
35  down Golden Boys
Stephanie Cripps
29 1406
36  up jetty city
scott mcgow
80 1401
37  same I am not Zlatan
Colin Goulding
57 1394
38  up Ciderheads
Darren Pope
72 1385
39  down Crazy Legs XI
David Caldicott
22 1372
40  same FTM
Stu Smith
48 1360
41  same Pudding And Pie
John Seacroft
59 1359
42  same Bakerlona
Stuart Baker
52 1339
43  up Dj daz
darren frankland
69 1321
44  down Real Jorvik
Simon Brown
39 1295
45  up Pepe Le Blue
39 1290
46  down Big White Chiefs
david frankland
38 1289
47  same Bermie Utd
Glen Davies
53 1268
48  up bazza 28 united
laura barrett
65 1240
49  down Pretty Schitty City
Alex Michaluk
29 1230
50  same Bish Bosh Goal
Simon Purnell
51 1209
51  up Jarv88
Paul Jarvis
51 1142
52  down Racing Club Skegness
Andrew Swift
22 1141
53  same DJ’s Trail Blazers
Danian Jones
40 1111


Shoelace Untied are the Buckets Cup champions. They have triumphed 97-72 over league leaders, Aquamar, who quite frankly didn’t have a chance against a team taking hits for fun and dropping the triple captain in for good measure. In the last three gameweeks Shoelace have made six, eight and eight transfers at the cost of 76 points. Aquamar’s challenge for the league has worked against them, although I imagine that not playing their wildcard or any chips will have much higher financial benefits in the long run. Their still respectable 72 point total maintains a healthy 46 point lead ahead of the chasing pack.

It was another Lukaku week. Everybody in the world handed him the armband to the tune of 32 points. Shoelace squeezed 48 points out of the Everton striker. Arguably, 33 of those points came in added time. Lukaku had contributed an assist before bagging a brace in the final moments of the game, nabbing the top bonus marks in the process. Shoelace’s final total was enough to earn them the highest weekly score accolade as well.

Despite taking the mega hits, Shoelace have actually managed to improve their league position. That’s probably a combination of making some very good transfer choices and the teams around them just not giving a shit anymore. Which is a shame, because if anything they’ve proved that by being out of the race for the league title doesn’t necessarily mean you’re out of the hunt for prizes.

Coming up on the outside, and winning the March manager of the month award are FC Caligula. Last years champs have also climbed to sixth and in contention for a league prize. It might be the first time they’ve appeared in the top 10 all year. Cold this be a late challenge? They’re still holding a wildcard and all of their chips.


Player of the week – Criag Dawson – 17 points. Arsenal doomed.

Bargain of the week – Benik Afobe – 12 points. Two wins and safe(ish) in mid table.

Donkey of the week – Phil Bardsley – -2 points. His yearly donkey.

Goal of the week – Jesse Lingard. 

Gameweek 12 results

1 Golden Boys Stephanie Cripps 55 659
2 Pretty Schitty City Alex Michaluk 55 640
3 FC Caligula Ajay Supeda 54 630
4 Bicuitmen Chris Morton 64 623
5 Your Ad Here Matthew Hopkins 57 623
6 Rocky Ba Bauer P Hawkins 48 619
7 Game of Throw ins Darren Lavelle 48 614
8 4 Lime Jellies Ian Williams 34 610
9 greensmeansbusiness adam greenwood 46 604
10 Edgbaston Micheal Dinneen 31 600
11 The Kolarov Mané Trevor Gordon 37 599
12 scotty2hotty scott mcgow 56 594
13 Below Par Paul Bentz 45 593
14 Init fc Mustafa khan 36 585
15 The Craggy Islanders Adrian Roche 50 585
16 Walking with Memphis Noel Driver 40 581
17 Shoelace Untied Caroline Strong 63 578
18 Gaalacticos Colin Goulding 52 577
19 Hedgehog Corpse FC Nick Smith 37 575
20 Bermie Utd Glen Davies 35 570
21 Romeo’s Honda Van Rob Hewer 34 569
22 SS3 FC Paul Murray 49 568
23 Sergio Five O DEAN CRIPPS 54 568
24 JonniestaRedmondinho David Spinks 42 567
25 Atlético Chappers Richard Chapman 49 567
26 Rip Roaring Reds Sean Whyton 47 565
27 Upper Bullens Andy Taylor 40 562
28 Howayman Mark Bromham 54 562
29 Grievous AngelRangel Andrew Swift 47 548
30 Go Buffoons Go!!! Jitesh Lakhani 58 548
32 Neil Madrid Neil Strong 41 533
33 Release The Hounds Paul Mitchell 51 522
34 The Hardy Boys Alan Hardy 47 514
35 Panza Grande XI Stuart Baker 56 512
36 Uriah Rennie 2nd XI Neil Greenwood 38 502
37 Crazy Legs XI David Caldicott 36 497
38 Ciderheads Darren Pope 37 496
39 The Mindless Morons John Seacroft 56 489
40 Bish Bosh Goal Simon Purnell 37 487
41 Sweet Cherry Pie Jason Earwicker 47 487
42 Baker Bum Boys Lewis Baker 44 485
43 REAL JORVIK Simon Brown 43 461
44 BrussiaHairbach Alex Ritchie 35 377


As far as player totals were concerned, it was possibly the lowest scoring week since the Buckets League began, so fair play to all those managers that managed to get scores into the 50s and 60s. Only sixteen goals were scored and only five of those were actually scored by strikers. No forward managed a score in double figures. In fact only seven players passed the ten point mark – and when I say passed the ten point mark, I mean seven players scored either ten or eleven points. It was a weekend in which defences definitely came out on top. Even Norwich, Newcastle and Villa kept clean sheets.

Biscuitmen and Shoelace Untied were the two teams to score 60+. Biscuitmen’s 64 is the highest of the week. After dropping from first to seventh to tenth in three weeks, they’ve bounced back up to fourth. They earned 20 points from a four man defence and did what we all should have done and handed Jamie Vardy the captaincy, thus adding another 18 points to their score. The Leicester striker scored for the ninth successive game. Next gameweek, when we all make him captain, his streak is bound to come to an end. Shoelace also handed the armband to Vardy, as did the majority of those managers posting 50+ scores. Common sense really.


Player of the week – Jesse Lingard – 11 points. Seems to be keeping Memphis Depay on the bench.

Bargain of the week – Rob Elliot – 10 points. Newcastle’s third choice is collecting five points per game on average.

Donkey of the week – Gareth McAuley – -2 points. The only red card of the week.

Goal of the week – Manuel Lanzini.