1  up Neil Madrid
Neil Strong
56 1485
2  down But Da Pitch Ain’t 1
Trev Reams
40 1481
3  same The Craggy Islanders
Adrian Roche
58 1465
4  same Perfidious Albion
Andrew Swift
67 1462
5  up FTM
Stu Smith
47 1413
6  up Bielsa Ringing
Alan Hardy
55 1408
7  down Edgbaston
Micheal Dinneen
33 1402
8  same Thelma and Luiz
Trevor Gordon
43 1396
9  up FC Caligula
Ajay Supeda
57 1395
10  down Frostee Rucker
Paul Bentz
42 1394
11  down Game of Stones
Ryan Garoghan
30 1376
12  same INIT FC
Mustafa khan
38 1371
13  same SLABHEAD FC
Adam Burnett
38 1360
14  up Deeney in a Bottle
Stephanie Cripps
53 1359
15  up Shoelace Untied
Caroline Strong
66 1356
16  down Aribo Haribo
Paul Hawkins
37 1349
17  down King raggg
Steven Darling
46 1349
18  same Upper Bullens
Andy Taylor
44 1320
19  up RICO UNITED
JASON REACHER
52 1319
20  down Cookie fc
Peter Cook
47 1318
21  same Rip Roaring Reds
Sean Whyton
53 1310
22  same Nashton Villa
Jaime Nash
40 1300
23  up Musttryharder fc
Paul Telford
57 1294
24  down Fake Madrid
Andrew Wade
37 1292
25  down Mour Salt and Pep
Noel Driver
40 1292
26  down PenshawPerformers
david bruce
36 1282
27  same Your Ad Here
Matthew Hopkins
40 1280
28  up Kompany & Co
DEAN CRIPPS
39 1271
29  down Dinamo Spinks
David Spinks
29 1270
30  up Pretty Schitty City
Alex Michaluk
57 1265
31  same romeoshondavan
Rob Hewer
37 1256
32  down Morningblues
Jeff Morning
32 1255
33  up Hoose Reus
James Whitfield
56 1248
34  up Kebab Eaters Utd
Paul Howard
57 1248
35  down Need son luck
Matt Jarvis
37 1246
36  up QUEEN OF THE NORTH
DORINE REACHER
71 1232
37  same Salah Buffoon!!!
Jitesh Lakhani
49 1231
38  down Dropit like its Hart
Jason Earwicker
45 1229
39  down Crazy Leg XI
David Caldicott
54 1228
40  down Real Jorvik
Simon Brown
53 1223
41  same El Loco No Joko
Paul Murray
62 1215
42  same The Big Lewandowski
Paul Callaghan
58 1210
43  same Hemel Hotspurs
Paul Jarvis
57 1208
44  same ClipityKlopptotitle
tanya thursby
51 1198
45  same It’s coming home
scott mcgow
23 1168
46  same Pique Blinders
Colin Goulding
33 1161
47  same Atlético Chappers
Richard Chapman
42 1161
48  same Puddle Splash Van
Ian Williams
38 1146
49  up The Mindless Morons
John Seacroft
48 1129
50  down Greeeenteeam
adam greenwood
41 1124
51  same Ross’s champions
darren frankland
36 1021

January Manager of the Month – Paul Hawkins – Aribo Haribo – 257 points

They clung on in the end, but last season’s champs and last week’s manager of the week make it over the line to be January’s manager of the month. They pinched it by a point and that point came courtesy of their bench boost. One single solitary point from a bench boost would otherwise be a disaster, but in this case…? Although I’m sure Aribo were hoping for a little more. And that’s one chip they won’t be able to play come double gameweek time. Nevertheless it earns them their regular place on the role of honour and £40.

1  same Aribo Haribo
Paul Hawkins
37 257
2  same FTM
Stu Smith
47 256
3  up Kebab Eaters Utd
Paul Howard
57 252
4  up Neil Madrid
Neil Strong
56 250
5  down But Da Pitch Ain’t 1
Trev Reams
40 248
6  up Musttryharder fc
Paul Telford
57 247

 

Manager of the week – Dorine Reacher – Queen of the North – 71 points

There were goals around this week, but scores stayed relatively average. QOTN were the only team to tip the 70 point barrier proving you don’t have to captain Mo Salah every week to earn a big score. Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang’s 12 points doubled to 24 in a blank week for the Liverpool forward. PEA’s fixture against Cardiff was always likely to provide more points, but the majority of us feared Salah too much. QOTN already have a cup bye. That draw will be made imminently

Player of the week – Josh King – Bournemouth – 16 points

It was an off week for the top six, perhaps explaining the fair to middling end totals. Bournemouth stuffed Chelsea, keeping a clean sheet in the process – their second in a row. Everton and Wolves were the only other two teams not to concede – three teams hardly known for the clean sheet prowess. Newcastle and Liverpool restricted the City and Liverpool assets respectively. Josh King returned the highest score contributing to three of Bournemouth’s four goals. It’s his third double figure score and he moves onto eight goals for the season. Well worth a look given Callum Wilson is likely to be missing a few games with injury.

Bargain of the week – Fernando Llorente – Tottenham Hotspur – 12 points

It’s been a mixed start to Llorente’s run in the Spurs side. An own goal in his first match was followed up by two cup defeats. And he could have had a hat trick of sitters last night. It doesn’t look as if Spurs are planning to bring anyone else in to cover Harry Kane’s absence, so Llorente looks likely to get starts. He played alongside Son against Watford, finally managing to score in the right end and assisting his South Korean team mate.

Twat of the week – Lucas Digne – Everton – -2 points

Double twat alert. He follows up a 25 yard own goal with a 12 minute sending off. Brilliant twatness. Consecutive weeks of twatdom is rare, normally reserved for Jose Holebas and Kyle Naughton. He joins an exclusive club – all of them full/wing backs. Actually – lets go for triple twat. He’s been brought into so many teams and then there’s a timely announcement of an Everton double gameweek. He’ll only play in one game. Well done Lucas. Twisted fantasy league.

Goal of the week – Calum Chambers.

https://www.skysports.com/watch/video/11622998/pl-goals-of-the-round

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1  same Hornets
Andrew Wade
47 1465
2  same The winnings R mine
david bruce
54 1464
3  up Despicable Mee
Trevor Gordon
66 1463
4  up Brexiter City
Colin Goulding
65 1462
5  down Gotta Light?
Andrew Swift
53 1460
6  up The Vinegar Pissers
P Hawkins
76 1452
7  down The Craggy Islanders
Adrian Roche
49 1443
8  same Nashton Villa
Jaime Nash
54 1430
9  same Fun Lovren Criminals
Paul Callaghan
55 1430
10  down greenyteamy
adam greenwood
39 1425
11  same Edgbaston
Micheal Dinneen
65 1425
12  same Queen of the north
DORINE REACHER
45 1401
13  up FC Caligula
Ajay Supeda
71 1392
14  down Game of Throw-Ins
Ryan Garoghan
54 1389
15  same INIT FC
Mustafa khan
56 1388
16  up It’sOnlyAGameFarke!
David Spinks
63 1387
17  down Rico united
JASON REACHER
50 1383
18  same Kompany & Co
DEAN CRIPPS
59 1376
19  same Rip Roaring Reds
Sean Whyton
56 1364
20  same We are Ayling
Paul Murray
60 1362
21  up Your Ad Here
Matthew Hopkins
55 1352
22  down Flying squad
Matt Jarvis
54 1352
23  up Shoelace Untied
Caroline Strong
67 1343
24  up Golden Boys
Stephanie Cripps
73 1341
25  up Atlético Chappers
Richard Chapman
55 1339
26  down musttryharder FC
Paul Telford
50 1336
27  down Crazylegs XI
David Caldicott
43 1335
28  up Emergency Gap Jumper
Ian Williams
65 1334
29  down Pure Buffoonery!
Jitesh Lakhani
52 1333
30  down Pretty Schitty City
Alex Michaluk
45 1331
31  down King Dunlap
Paul Bentz
52 1331
32  down Neil Madrid
Neil Strong
57 1331
33  up Kebab Eaters Utd
Paul Howard
60 1314
34  down Aquamar 1564
Noel Driver
48 1311
35  same Klopp of the Pochs
Jason Earwicker
56 1309
36  up Upper Bullens
Andy Taylor
60 1294
37  down blakes11
Steven Darling
63 1294
38  up To Elland Back
Alan Hardy
65 1260
39  down mrs mcgoo
laura barrett
42 1258
40  same cookster fc
Peter Cook
50 1246
41  up Pudding And Pie
John Seacroft
68 1246
42  down FTM
Stu Smith
40 1241
43  down Bakerlona FC
Stuart Baker
44 1238
44  down romeoshondavan
Rob Hewer
56 1227
45  same iamgroot
scott mcgow
59 1221
46  same Jarv88
Paul Jarvis
43 1204
47  up disco dancer
darren frankland
65 1188
48  down Real Jorvik
Simon Brown
39 1178
49  same Release The Hounds
Paul Mitchell
40 1151
50  same Biscuitmen
Chris Morton
48 1006

 

Manager of the month – The Winnings R Mine – David Bruce – 270 points (14 goals)

It was a close run thing for January Manager of the Month. The top four were separated by three points with The Winnings R Mine and Brexiter City both scoring 270 points and sharing first place. The Winnings R Mine take the prize, outscoring Brexiter by 14 goals to 11.

1  same The winnings R mine
david bruce
54 270
1  up Brexiter City
Colin Goulding
65 270
3  down blakes11
Steven Darling
63 268
4  up The Vinegar Pissers
P Hawkins
76 267

Blakes11 triple captained in an attempt to pinch the award but just fell short. The Vinegar Pissers, despite winning manager of the week, will be cursing a Harry Kane captain choice – possibly not for the first time this season. Kane was outscored by seven other players in their line up – all of whom, as captain, would have given them the monthly award as well.

Manager of the week – The Vinegar Pissers – Paul Hawkins – 76 points

It was a week in which the top scoring teams – Liverpool and Manchester City – did as they were supposed to and registered comfortable wins against struggling teams with all of their star players chipping in with either an assist or goal. It definitely wasn’t a week for relying on the clean sheet experts – Manchester United or Chelsea – to do what they were supposed to and keep out Spurs and Bournemouth. That’s maybe slightly harsh on United, but the double whammy for Phil Jones owners – and there are a lot – is the minus score courtesy of and own goal and a booking. Chelsea have no excuse. But for David De Gea in goal, The Vinegar Pissers avoided the dodgy defensive displays and picked up a healthy 38 points from their Liverpool and City contingent.

Player of the week – Sam Clucas – 15 points

There’s a Swansea revival to take notice of. They’re suddenly the team offering the most tempting cheap players. Jordan Ayew is the form cheap striker scoring four in his last seven. In GW24 Federico Fernandez was the best bargain player and Alfie Mawson was only just pipped to the overall player award by one point. Sam Clucas takes that prize this week with two goals in their impressive win over Arsenal to follow up their similarly impressive, and unexpected, win over Liverpool last week.

Bargain of the week – Callum Wilson – 12 points

Every single stat surrounding the Chelsea v Bournemouth fixture pointed towards a comfortable home win. The last five games between the two have all resulted in a Chelsea victory by an aggregate score of 13-3. Add to the that the fact that Chelsea had kept six clean sheets in their previous eight games with Bournemouth only managing four all season. It’s the reason Marcos Alonso and Cesar Azpilicueta top the £7 million mark for defenders. This week they collected a solitary point each as Wilson netted his fourth in six games and second double figure score in three.

Twat of the week – Phil Jones – -2 points

Who else? The fifth most owned defender in the game drops a clanger. It’s a one off. He’s been the most consistent United defender and is the joint highest bonus scorer across the back line. Don’t be surprised if he picks up another nine point haul against Huddersfield at the weekend.

Goal of the week – Christian Eriksen. Bit of a dearth of quality this week. This for no other reason that it was scored in 10 seconds. You’d think the internet would have a video of that whole 10 seconds wouldn’t you? It doesn’t.

 

Gameweek 23 results

February 2, 2017

up Aquamar 15
Noel Driver
46 1286
down The Craggy Islanders
Adrian Roche
31 1284
same Yeboah’s Right Foot
Paul Murray
41 1276
same When Harry met Alli
Trevor Gordon
34 1263
up greenyteamy
adam greenwood
42 1245
down Kebab Eaters Utd
Paul Howard
28 1233
same Hedgehog Corpse FC
Nick Smith
34 1228
up Biscuitmen
Chris Morton
43 1219
down 4 Fuchs Ake
Jason Earwicker
31 1214
10  up INIT FC
Mustafa khan
44 1212
11  same Cooksters
Peter Cook
36 1210
12  down Uriah Rennie 2nd XI
Neil Greenwood
27 1208
13  down Rip Roaring Reds
Sean Whyton
29 1202
14  up To Elland Back
Alan Hardy
38 1198
15  same Go Buffoons Go
Jitesh Lakhani
30 1193
16  down FC Caligula
Ajay Supeda
21 1192
17  same 30:19
Darren Lavelle
30 1188
18  up Neil Madrid
Neil Strong
32 1187
19  down Atlético Chappers
Richard Chapman
27 1185
20  same Joey Bosa
Paul Bentz
32 1181
21  same RICO UNITED
JASON REACHER
32 1171
22  same QUEEN OF THE NORTH
DORINE REACHER
43 1171
23  up romeoshondavan
Rob Hewer
43 1162
24  up Upper Bullens
Andy Taylor
46 1154
25  down Edgbaston
Micheal Dinneen
30 1154
26  down Your Ad Here
Matthew Hopkins
26 1152
27  up Jarvis FC
Matt Jarvis
46 1141
28  down nO fucHs given
Paul Callaghan
31 1134
29  same Jeff Lamp’s Porsche
David Spinks
32 1131
30  down Golden Boys
Stephanie Cripps
26 1130
31  same Crazy Legs XI
David Caldicott
32 1114
32  up Shoelace Untied
Caroline Strong
36 1114
33  down Hucking Fell
P Hawkins
30 1112
34  up Release The Hounds
Paul Mitchell
45 1108
35  down RG XV
Ryan Garoghan
42 1108
36  up Have a little dink
Ian Williams
42 1090
37  down Ciderheads
Darren Pope
34 1084
38  up I am not Zlatan
Colin Goulding
41 1074
39  down FTM
Stu Smith
24 1070
40  up Real Jorvik
Simon Brown
41 1050
41  down Pepe Le Blue
DEAN CRIPPS
30 1048
42  up Bakerlona
Stuart Baker
45 1039
43  up jetty city
scott mcgow
52 1033
44  up Big White Chiefs
david frankland
42 1022
45  down Pretty Schitty City
Alex Michaluk
20 1018
46  same Pudding And Pie
John Seacroft
35 1015
47  down Dj daz
darren frankland
35 1015
48  same bazza 28 united
laura barrett
33 974
49  same Bermie Utd
Glen Davies
38 969
50  same DJ’s Trail Blazers
Danian Jones
31 940
51  up Racing Club Skegness
Andrew Swift
36 928
52  down Bish Bosh Goal
Simon Purnell
28 925
53  same Jarv88
Paul Jarvis
36 892

 

One of those weeks where nothing happened – nothing came off. Only 19 goals scored. The average FPL score was a measly 35 points. Our manager of the week managed 52 – the only manager to break 50 points. Jetty City crept ahead of everybody else probably because they had Gylfi Sigurdsson in their side. The Swansea midfielder doesn’t appear in too many other Buckets teams. A good example of a differential paying off.

The only side in the top six that won were City, and we got sick of them weeks ago. No goals for United or Spurs, a stalemate with two unlikely scorers between Chelsea and Liverpool and worst of all, Arsenal messing up at home to Watford, who have been in terrible form of late. Thank goodness for the Alexis Sanchez assist. He appeared to be the popular captain choice again and the extra four points probably turned what could have been a really shit week into…a fairly shit week.

There were some interesting tactics employed in the race for the January Manager of the Month. The top two challengers played chips. Greenyteamy went for the bench boost and that garnered them an extra 12 points. Upper Bullens triple captained Harry Kane to the tune of 6 points – essentially two more than they’d have got had they just not bothered.  Disappointing on the one hand, but it was enough to get them over the line. Might they regret those choices come the double gameweeks? Here’s the final table.

up Upper Bullens
Andy Taylor
46 253
same greenyteamy
adam greenwood
42 251
down When Harry met Alli
Trevor Gordon
34 251
up Aquamar 15
Noel Driver
46 245
up RG XV
Ryan Garoghan
42 242
down Pudding And Pie
John Seacroft
35 240
down Neil Madrid
Neil Strong
32 240

 

Player of the week – Scott Dann – 15 points. That first Palace win under Allardyce had to come sometime.

Bargain of the week – Michael Keane – 12 points. Burnley indestructible at home.

Donkey of the week – Jose Fonte – 0 points. West Ham always get hammered by Man City.

Goal of the week – David Luiz.

Gameweek 23 preview

January 31, 2017

Arsenal v Watford
Bournemouth v Crystal Palace
Burnley v Leicester
Middlesbrough v West Brom
Sunderland v Spurs
Swansea v Southampton
Liverpool v Chelsea
West Ham v Man City
Man Utd v Hull
Stoke v Everton

 

Its the last gameweek in January. By Wednesday evening we will know our January manager of the month. We’ll also know the ten teams joining FC Caligula in the first round proper of the Buckets Cup. That draw will be made and published on the Cup page ahead of gameweek 24 which kicks off on Saturday.

The final of the cup will take place in gameweek 29 – so to get there you’ve got to negotiate gameweek 26 – which now has a reduced schedule due to it being League Cup final weekend. Manchester United and Southampton’s fixtures have been cancelled giving them, and Manchester City and Arsenal, a week off. Forward planning needed. Probably even from now. I’m sure there are many teams carrying both Zlatan and Sanchez. They’re the most owned attacker and midfielder in the game. Positioning yourself for a two free transfer week is a must. The wildcard is much better utilised for the double gameweeks up ahead. Gameweek 28 will see another reduced week as it’s FA Cup quarter final weekend, although it’s debatable as to whether there’ll be any Premier League teams left in it the way things are going. Sutton v Lincoln final all the way.

Last season the double gameweeks popped up at 34 and 37 due to the gaps in the fixture caldendar. I’ve no idea whether that will be repeated this season. It depends on how well our teams perform in Europe I suppose. With three of the four teams sitting out gameweek 26 still involved in European competition, we may have to wait that long.

The transfer window will close midway through this gameweek. It’s notable the amount of players that have swapped one Premier League side for another. All could come into future contention. Morgan Schneiderlin, Jeffrey Schlupp, Saido Berahino, Tom Carroll, Oumar Niasse and Tom Cleverley should get more game time at their new clubs. Their lack of action has seen their values drop. Schneiderlin (£4.6m) and Berahino (£6m) look particularity attractive.

Robert Snodgrass has been a permanent fixture in and around the top 10 midfielders since the season started. You’d think more assist points would be on the table providing balls to Andy Carroll than there would be hoping Adama Diomande gets his 50p head pointing in the right direction.

Patrick Van Aanholt has jumped out of the frying pan – although you have to say he does have better players around him at Palace. He played well under Allardyce at Sunderland, and in the same way he provided many an assist for Jermain Defoe (who’s going to do that now?), he may be the key to Christian Beneteke getting a few more goals.

 

Gameweek 23 results

January 25, 2016

1 Golden Boys Stephanie Cripps 60 1,274
2 FC Caligula Ajay Supeda 60 1,263
3 Your Ad Here Matthew Hopkins 51 1,256
4 The Kolarov Mané Trevor Gordon 81 1,225
5 Atlético Chappers Richard Chapman 67 1,224
6 Game of Throw ins Darren Lavelle 63 1,218
7 Bicuitmen Chris Morton 75 1,216
8 Pretty Schitty City Alex Michaluk 67 1,209
9 Edgbaston Micheal Dinneen 58 1,209
10 Rocky Ba Bauer P Hawkins 59 1,209
11 4 Lime Jellies Ian Williams 26 1,204
12 Shoelace Untied Caroline Strong 52 1,197
13 greensmeansbusiness adam greenwood 45 1,195
14 SS3 FC Paul Murray 63 1,194
15 Gaalacticos Colin Goulding 49 1,194
16 Grievous AngelRangel Andrew Swift 59 1,190
17 Hedgehog Corpse FC Nick Smith 59 1,190
18 Walking with Memphis Noel Driver 35 1,183
19 Sergio Five O DEAN CRIPPS 37 1,181
20 Init fc Mustafa khan 59 1,180
21 Uriah Rennie 2nd XI Neil Greenwood 92 1,179
22 Romeo’s Honda Van Rob Hewer 59 1,179
23 scotty2hotty scott mcgow 59 1,178
24 Howayman Mark Bromham 44 1,176
25 JonniestaRedmondinho David Spinks 59 1,158
26 The Craggy Islanders Adrian Roche 44 1,141
27 Below Par Paul Bentz 37 1,140
28 Neil Madrid Neil Strong 56 1,138
29 Panza Grande XI Stuart Baker 46 1,131
30 Rip Roaring Reds Sean Whyton 28 1,122
31 Bermie Utd Glen Davies 46 1,121
32 Upper Bullens Andy Taylor 37 1,094
33 The Hardy Boys Alan Hardy 71 1,093
34 The Mindless Morons John Seacroft 40 1,093
35 Go Buffoons Go!!! Jitesh Lakhani 51 1,066
36 RICO UNITED JASON REACHER 36 1,057
37 Release The Hounds Paul Mitchell 45 1,039
38 Ciderheads Darren Pope 35 1,031
39 Crazy Legs XI David Caldicott 46 1,008
40 Baker Bum Boys Lewis Baker 35 1,005
41 Sweet Cherry Pie Jason Earwicker 56 989
42 Bish Bosh Goal Simon Purnell 34 967
43 REAL JORVIK Simon Brown 46 904
44 BrussiaHairbach Alex Ritchie 48 874

 

Even without the bench boost points that Uriah’s scored this weekend they would have clinched the January manager of the month prize. The extra 15 points helped them clean up and secure the weekly prize as well. Here’s the table for January…

1 Uriah Rennie 2nd XI Neil Greenwood 92 258
2 The Kolarov Mané Trevor Gordon 81 236
3 Atlético Chappers Richard Chapman 67 225
4 Grievous AngelRangel Andrew Swift 59 216
5 Bicuitmen Chris Morton 75 212
6 FC Caligula Ajay Supeda 60 205

 

There wasn’t really anyone else in it. The Kolarov Mane came closest, posting the second highest score of the week. The consolation for them is they were able to jump ten places in the league to occupy fourth. Uriah’s climbed seven places and sit in 21st at the bottom end of that concertinaed middle group chasing the top four. It was a bad week for 4 Lime Jellies. For so long a title contender, their score of 26 points has seem them drop from the top 10 for the first time this season.

Player of the week – Roberto Firmino – 18 points. Worth a pop? He’s a £7.9 million midfielder playing as a striker.

Bargain of the week – Danny Drinkwater – 14 points. Leicester back on track.

Donkey of the week – Per Mertesacker – -2 points. Arsenal don’t beat Chelsea in the league. Remember.

Goal of the week – Dele Alli. Decent.

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