Gameweek 14 and November Manager of the Month

1  same Neil Madrid
Neil Strong
63 898
2  same But Da Pitch Ain’t 1
Trev Reams
65 895
3  same Perfidious Albion
Andrew Swift
48 869
4  same The Craggy Islanders
Adrian Roche
61 862
5  up Thelma and Luiz
Trevor Gordon
63 830
6  up Edgbaston
Micheal Dinneen
65 826
7  down Game of Stones
Ryan Garoghan
45 824
Adam Burnett
62 823
9  down Cookie fc
Peter Cook
52 821
10  down Upper Bullens
Andy Taylor
48 821
11  down FC Caligula
Ajay Supeda
53 819
12  same Deeney in a Bottle
Stephanie Cripps
54 812
13  up FTM
Stu Smith
76 807
14  down Bielsa Ringing
Alan Hardy
51 802
15  same King raggg
Steven Darling
57 798
16  up Frostee Rucker
Paul Bentz
63 790
17  up Your Ad Here
Matthew Hopkins
52 790
18  down Shoelace Untied
Caroline Strong
55 787
19  down Need son luck
Matt Jarvis
51 785
20  down RICO UNITED
34 782
21  up INIT FC
Mustafa khan
65 782
22  down Pretty Schitty City
Alex Michaluk
56 776
23  down Musttryharder fc
Paul Telford
53 773
24  up Hoose Reus
James Whitfield
73 761
25  same Nashton Villa
Jaime Nash
49 754
26  up Mour Salt and Pep
Noel Driver
54 753
27  down Kompany & Co
44 752
28  down Morningblues
Jeff Morning
30 733
29  down Crazy Leg XI
David Caldicott
44 732
30  up Pique Blinders
Colin Goulding
59 730
31  same romeoshondavan
Rob Hewer
50 730
56 729
33  down Aribo Haribo
Paul Hawkins
45 726
34  up PenshawPerformers
david bruce
59 724
35  same Rip Roaring Reds
Sean Whyton
55 719
36  up Fake Madrid
Andrew Wade
53 715
37  down The Big Lewandowski
Paul Callaghan
39 711
38  up Salah Buffoon!!!
Jitesh Lakhani
54 708
39  down Dinamo Spinks
David Spinks
46 703
40  same Dropit like its Hart
Jason Earwicker
47 699
41  same Real Jorvik
Simon Brown
43 689
42  up ClipityKlopptotitle
tanya thursby
58 688
43  down El Loco No Joko
Paul Murray
46 680
44  same Kebab Eaters Utd
Paul Howard
42 670
45  same Hemel Hotspurs
Paul Jarvis
51 664
46  up Greeeenteeam
adam greenwood
47 650
47  down Puddle Splash Van
Ian Williams
46 648
48  down It’s coming home
scott mcgow
50 642
49  same Atlético Chappers
Richard Chapman
56 617
50  up Ross’s champions
darren frankland
71 594
51  down The Mindless Morons
John Seacroft
46 590


November Manager of the month – Neil Madrid – Neil Strong – 272 points

Madrid were in fourth at the start of the month, 60 or so points adrift of the top. They now occupy the number one position, having clawed back that gap to take the prize for November. Swapping and off-the-boil Hazard for Raheem Sterling at the point the City man went fantasy nuts was surely the key. Madrid have posted five consecutive green arrow scores that has seen them rise from 196,000 to 13,000 overall. Check me out.

1  same Neil Madrid
Neil Strong
63 272
2  same The Craggy Islanders
Adrian Roche
61 263
3  up FTM
Stu Smith
76 256
4  same Your Ad Here
Matthew Hopkins
52 242
5  down Shoelace Untied
Caroline Strong
55 240


Manager of the week – FTM – Stu Smith – 76 points

FTM’s second week winning score in three wasn’t quite enough to push them to the summit of the monthly table, being let down arguably by their GW13 score. Nevertheless, they have climbed from 22nd to the outskirts of the top 10 and look set to push on through December. FTM are loving West Ham right now. Ahead of their favourable run of fixtures they picked up 15 points from Marko Arnautovic and Felipe Anderson. As with many teams, Sterling became default captain through Aguero’s absence, and a five man defence, also popular this week, propspered to he tune of 35 points. Only Jose Holebas failed to deliver a clean sheet.

Player of the week – Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang – Arsenal – 16 points

Maybe game of the season. Maybe the best Arsenal have played in a decade. And as Raheem Sterling became the first player to pass the 100 point barrier, PEA hit his 9th and 10th goals of the season to move within nine points of the same target. Aubameyang comes into serious contention now, particularly with an injury to Sergio Aguero, Liverpool relying on Divock Origi, inevitable City rotation, and no-one quite sure whether Harry Kane is paying well or not. Spurs’ run of fixtures into February could result in a period of heavy scoring for the England captain. Arsenal’s, on paper, don’t look as easy, but their star striker looks capable of scoring past anyone at any time. His overall Premier League record is 20 goals in 27 appearances. With 23 matches of the season remaining, there’s a strong possibility he’ll get close to the 30 goal mark. Why would you want to miss out on all that?

Bargain of the week – Javier Hernandez – West Ham United – 13 points

Somewhat of an unexpected result, but one that should alert fantasy bosses to the potential value of one or two West Ham assets in their team. Hernandez may not start every week however, so maybe steering towards Arnautovic or Anderson would reap more rewards. West Ham don’t play a top six team again until GW22.

Twat of the week – Jan Vertonghen – Tottenham Hotspur – -3 points

The game started boiling over in the first half so there was a certain inevitability about a red card being dished out at some point. Vertonghen conceded the penalty and looked rattled throughout until he finally lost it after Arsenal had bagged their 4th goal. Despite the aforementioned fixture swing in favour of Spurs, I wouldn’t go anywhere near any of these defenders.

Goal of the week – Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang. 1m14s in. This game had it all.


Season review

1  same The Vinegar Pissers
P Hawkins
84 2289
2  same Nashton Villa
Jaime Nash
65 2253
3  same Edgbaston
Micheal Dinneen
67 2251
4  same Despicable Mee
Trevor Gordon
67 2250
5  same FC Caligula
Ajay Supeda
86 2245
6  same The Craggy Islanders
Adrian Roche
65 2216
7  same Hornets
Andrew Wade
76 2215
8  up INIT FC
Mustafa khan
74 2193
9  down Brexiter City
Colin Goulding
52 2184
10  up It’sOnlyAGameFarke!
David Spinks
66 2156
11  up Rico united
71 2155
12  up The winnings R mine
david bruce
71 2148
13  down greenyteamy
adam greenwood
51 2139
14  down Fun Lovren Criminals
Paul Callaghan
34 2134
15  up Game of Throw-Ins
Ryan Garoghan
73 2133
16  same Queen of the north
55 2125
17  down Emergency Gap Jumper
Ian Williams
54 2125
18  same Kebab Eaters Utd
Paul Howard
60 2108
19  same Pure Buffoonery!
Jitesh Lakhani
54 2103
20  up We are Ayling
Paul Murray
68 2095
21  up Your Ad Here
Matthew Hopkins
88 2094
22  up Gotta Light?
Andrew Swift
66 2089
23  down Shoelace Untied
Caroline Strong
53 2089
24  down Klopp of the Pochs
Jason Earwicker
58 2082
25  down Rip Roaring Reds
Sean Whyton
48 2078
26  down Atlético Chappers
Richard Chapman
55 2073
27  up Flying squad
Matt Jarvis
87 2072
28  up Pretty Schitty City
Alex Michaluk
85 2065
29  down To Elland Back
Alan Hardy
69 2061
30  up Neil Madrid
Neil Strong
84 2061
31  down Golden Boys
Stephanie Cripps
55 2052
32  up King Dunlap
Paul Bentz
80 2050
33  same mrs mcgoo
laura barrett
70 2048
34  down Aquamar 1564
Noel Driver
43 2035
35  same Crazylegs XI
David Caldicott
57 2021
36  same blakes11
Steven Darling
54 1998
37  same musttryharder FC
Paul Telford
52 1995
38  same Kompany & Co
58 1983
39  same FTM
Stu Smith
55 1980
40  up Jarv88
Paul Jarvis
85 1918
41  down iamgroot
scott mcgow
56 1903
42  up romeoshondavan
Rob Hewer
66 1898
43  up Upper Bullens
Andy Taylor
69 1896
44  down cookster fc
Peter Cook
50 1895
45  same disco dancer
darren frankland
61 1879
46  same Pudding And Pie
John Seacroft
52 1848
47  same Bakerlona FC
Stuart Baker
59 1829
48  same Release The Hounds
Paul Mitchell
50 1799
49  same Real Jorvik
Simon Brown
50 1752
50  same Biscuitmen
Chris Morton
71 1653


Winners – The Vinegar Pissers 

The third manager to pick up their second title scoring the second highest finishing total. The Vinegar Pissers only spent six weeks outside of our top 10, first taking root in GW5. They did drop to the depths of 11th and 12th, before permanently floating around 6th until gameweek 29, when a manager of the week performance saw them rise to third. Then GW31 – only four games – but a Mohamed Salah masterclass and everybody’s posting 100+ totals and challenging for the highest weekly score prize. The VP’s kicked arse with 124 points from eight players, 58 of which came from Salah. That put them at the top of the league and that’s where they stayed – and in truth, no-one really got that close to them. Congratulations to the Pissers. They got as high as 8,202nd in the world, never took more than a four point hit, played their triple captain and bench boost in the run in and utilised their free hit well, picking up a good score with it and a green arrow just before Christmas. Interestingly, they played their wildcards at almost the earliest possibly opportunity on both occasions. Proving that there is still no logic to this game and it’s all complete luck.

Runners up – Nashton Villa, Edgbaston and Despicable Mee 

Our Champions League qualifiers all had similar seasons, making their surge into the top ten and then the top four at around the same time. It was during March that they all lost ground on the VPs and were left desperately trying to claw back the points lost during gameweeks 29 and 31 – the two weeks that definitely won the VP’s that manager of the month, and arguably won them the league. It was a superb debut season for Nashton who reached their highest worldwide position after GW37, but were unable to continue the rise and challenge for the top spot. They would have had to surpass the 100 point mark in GW38 to knock our champions off their perch.

Edgbaston have finally crept into our top four after two consecutive 5th place finishes, despite finishing lower in the world rankings than in both of their last two attempts. And fourth placed Despicable Mee are regressing. Two consecutive runners up placings and now fourth place. Once always the bridesmaid – now a distant uncle only invited because they had a space to fill. In all seriousness – if one of these two doesn’t win this title soon, I’d be very surprised.

The rest

There were valiant efforts by two former champs who just ran out of steam at the last knockings – FC Caligula and The Craggy Islanders finished 5th and 6th respectively. We’re sure to see them in the running next season. Hornets, a total rookie FPL debutant, who were top every week bar three between gameweeks 2 and 29, finished in a respectable 7th. By gameweek 16 they had climbed to 1,663rd in the world, as high (possibly) as any Buckets manager has been, but they peaked too early. Better understanding of the chips and when to play them might serve them better next season. The rest of us – probably got stung by Harry Kane once too often, and only realised when it was too late that they should have had Mo Salah as captain EVERY WEEK.

The awards

We had more managers of the week scoring 100+ scores than in any previous season. The Vinegar Pissers’ 124 point score was the second highest weekly winning score, but falls way behind their own record set in the 2013-2014 season when they managed 165 points in a week in which virtually everybody passed the 100 point barrier following a mammoth double gameweek. That same season produced the highest winning finishing score in our league of 2356 points. Despite there being more 100+ weekly winners in this season, The VPs finished 67 points behind that total. It’s worth noting that the 124 points scored in GW31 was done so from only four games. Another thirteen of our fifty teams passed the century mark that week. And most of them were only fielding bit part teams.

We had ten different managers of the month, six managers taking two weekly accolades, but only one, The bloody Vinegar Pissers, managing three highest weekly scores. Shoelace Untied took the December prize, accumulating 477 points for the month – the highest ever monthly total.

The players

We may have fallen just short of breaking our manager records this season, but the reason we got so close was largely due to one player – Mohamed Salah. He became the first player to pass 300 points for the season. No-one else came close – which may explain why we didn’t quite eclipse the higher scores from four years ago. Back then, in the ‘Suarez’ season, there was a great supporting cast, with the likes of Daniel Sturridge, Steven Gerrard, Raheem Sterling, Robin Van Persie, Yaya Toure and Eden Hazard all scoring big, playing consistently and featuring in a lot of teams. This season only Harry Kane, Sterling and Kevin De Bruyne passed the 200 point mark. Despite Kane running Salah (fairly) close in the golden boot chase, he was still close to 100 points behind. Which says more about the frustrating, annoying, inconsistent, trolling season the Spurs striker had. Nowt for weeks then just when you get sick of it all three frickin’ hat tricks…or whatever it was. Dickhead. Still – he’ll be in from the start next season.

Kane picked up more player of the week awards (three) than anyone else. Salah, who only scored more than anyone else once throughout the whole season, was much more consistent. A goal every week rather than three and a gap. And lets mention GW31 again – 29 points – the highest ever single match gameweek score. Sergio Aguero, Heung-Min Son and Marko Arnautovic were the only other players to get two player of the week awards. Tottenham won the award six times ahead of Chelsea with five, and then perhaps surprisingly, Manchester City, with only four winners. Ayoze Perez, Federico Fernandez and Callum Wilson showed up on the bargain list more than once and Newcastle appeared to be the best go-to cheapo team, winning the award five times over the course of the season. Watford were king of the twats offering up six ‘worst of the week’, with Jose Holebas winning the award twice. Jack Stephens also won it twice – and in consecutive weeks, so well done to him. Manchester City did dominate the goal of the week contenders with eight wins, but anyone who tells you that Jamie Vardy’s over the shoulder volley against West Brom in GW30 isn’t the goal of the season, is some kind of goon.

Debatable team of the season

  • GK – David De Gea – 172 points

No arguments here, although Lorus Karius did pick up more points per match of all keepers playing more than 10 games. Karius and Mignolet played half a season each – 19 games a piece. Mignolet scored on average 1.1 points per game less and kept three less clean sheets – although still 7 out of 19 which is pretty respectable.

  • DR – Cesar Azpilicueta – 175 points
  • DL – Marcos Alonso – 165 points
  • DC – Nicolas Otamendi – 156 points
  • DC – Jan Vertonghen – 138 points

Antonio Valencia, Ben Davies and Kyle Walker all scored more than Vertonghen, but none are central defenders. In the favoured three at the back, you’d probably have to drop Alonso. He hasn’t scored enough to warrant his usual left wing back position ahead of the highest scoring midfielders either…coming up next. Andrew Robertson missed 16 games and Phil Jones missed 15 games, but both beat all of the above, other than Alonso, in points per game. Jones managed 15 clean sheets in his 23 games. Basically – if he didn’t play – United usually conceded.

  • DM – Luca Milivojevic – 144 points
  • CM – Kevin De Bruyne – 209 points
  • AM – Mohamed Salah – 303 points
  • AM – Raheem Sterling – 229 points
  • AM – Christian Eriksen – 199 points

Obviously, this is where it all gets a bit ‘debatable’. No real team is complete without some kind of defensive holding player, so when you see the PFA team of the year, and it’s basically a goalkeeper and 10 attackers, you do wonder if they ever really watch the game. But then if you were going to stick a defensive midfielder in there, you wouldn’t necessarily be basing their inclusion on their fantasy points total, seeing as how nothing they do is ever taken into consideration when the scores are totted up. You’d just pick N’Golo Kante and move on wouldn’t you? Milivojevic is definitely worth a mention though. Arguably the most reliable penalty taker in the league, double figures for goals and in the top 10 for bonuses.

  • CF – Harry Kane – 217 points

His best goalscoring season but not his his best fantasy season. Too many braces and hat tricks, if their can be such a thing, and not enough consistency. Kane would go missing for weeks, but then burst back into life racking up the highest bonus score too. It was all about catching him on a good day. He blanked in 19 gameweeks – half a season. Salah failed to score anything other than appearance points in only 10 games. Aguero, and latterly, Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang, finished the season with more points per match. There’s your front three for August.



Player awards

Gameweek 12 results

1 Sportingoffensivewig Alex Ritchie 75 739
2 Crazylegs Xi David Caldicott 65 690
3 Shakin’ Stephens P Hawkins 64 682
4 The Magico Rob Buttaci 78 682
5 Panza Grande XI Stuart Baker 63 681
6 Rip Roaring Reds Sean Whyton 72 671
7 {Your Ad Here} Matthew Hopkins 58 668
8 Ciderheads Darren Pope 65 667
9 Neil Madrid Neil Strong 61 658
10 Romeo’s-honda-van Rob Hewer 58 658
11 Upper Bullens Scouse Mouse 89 648
12 Kedah FA David Spinks 53 646
13 Mid-Season Blip Paul Bentz 70 645
14 NaboombuDirtyYellows Andrew Swift 58 645
15 Uriah Rennie 2nd XI Neil Greenwood 65 643
16 Rien Toulouse Colin Goulding 79 625
17 pretty Schitty City Alex Michaluk 66 618
18 Hedgehog Corpse FC Nick Smith 69 618
19 Have a little dink Ian Williams 68 617
20 Bermie Utd Glen Davies 39 615
21 Shoelace Untied Caroline Strong 77 594
22 Release the Hounds Paul Mitchell 61 588
23 Real Jorvik Simon Brown 48 582
24 The Mindless Morons John Seacroft 52 565
25 Inter Minan Jordan Raper 48 551
26 Biscuitmen Chris Morton 66 528

Upper Bullens, our resident yo-yo team top the scoring charts this week. A huge 89 points fires them back up the league. They topped the league after week six, but fell to 16th only four weeks later. Now they’re back in 11th, and have a chance of the November manager of the month award. As do, potentially, 17 other teams. Ciderheads top the table, with Sporting breathing down their necks. Another 30 point performance from Aguero keeps Sporting miles ahead of anyone else in the overall league, and very much in the hunt for their second monthly prize. Here’s the monthly table…

1 Ciderheads Darren Pope 65 200
2 Sportingoffensivewig Alex Ritchie 75 196
3 Rien Toulouse Colin Goulding 79 193
4 Kedah FA David Spinks 53 190
5 Have a little dink Ian Williams 68 190
6 The Magico Rob Buttaci 78 186
7 NaboombuDirtyYellows Andrew Swift 58 185
8 Rip Roaring Reds Sean Whyton 72 184
9 Panza Grande XI Stuart Baker 63 183
10 Shoelace Untied Caroline Strong 77 182
11 Upper Bullens Scouse Mouse 89 181
12 Mid-Season Blip Paul Bentz 70 178
13 Romeo’s-honda-van Rob Hewer 58 178
14 Neil Madrid Neil Strong 61 173
15 Shakin’ Stephens P Hawkins 64 172
16 Uriah Rennie 2nd XI Neil Greenwood 65 172
17 pretty Schitty City Alex Michaluk 66 170
18 Crazylegs Xi David Caldicott 65 169

Bullens also became the first team to achieve two manager of the week awards.

There were high scores pretty much across the board amongst Buckets teams this week. There were 34 goals scored and all the top strikers got in on the act. Any number of captain choices could have paid dividends this week. Even the two strikers I claimed were on the wane in the weekly preview added to their points totals. Danny Sturridge was only on the pitch 12 minutes, but got himself a goal and a bonus mark. Olivier Giroud scored twice for Arsenal and picked up all three bonus points. Lukaku bagged two of Everton’s goals against Liverpool. One of Liverpool’s in reply came from you know who. Loic Remy added nine more points to his total. Aguero demolished Spurs and Rooney scored again for United, although it’s debatable as to whether he should have been on the pitch.

Defences weren’t so reliable this week. Particularly the two best defences in the league. Southampton conceded two for the first time and Tottenham went from a plus goal difference to a minus goal difference, and conceded two league positions as a result. Oh, and Crystal Palace kept a clean sheet – a result wasted on every single manager in the game.

Player of the week – Jesus Navas – 19 points. His first meaningful contribution of the season.

Bargain of the week – Stephen N’Zonzi – 14 points. His only meaningful contribution of any season.  

Donkey of the week – Jan Vertonghen – -2 points. Wes Brown scored -3, but that was never a red card, so I’m breaking my own rules.

Goal of the week – Scott Parker. No video to show you. No idea why – this was a lovely goal.

Season review

Team of the season

Ignore all other teams of the season. This is based on Fantasy League performance. There is no better indicator – in other words NO FUCKING MICHAEL CARRICK. It’s a classic 4-4-2 formation with a defensive midfielder (ie with Yaya Toure).

GK. Joe Hart

In all fairness, no one keeper stood out this season. De Gea made the PFA team, but Hart kept more clean sheets. De Gea kept only 2 clean sheets in his first 20 games. He had an impressive run of 8 in 10 from February through to April – which probably won United the title, but Hart’s 18 overall were spread evenly across the season. His best run came in January. He didn’t concede during the whole month. So unspectacular, yet effective.

RB. Glen Johnson

Kept more clean sheets than any other defender this season with 16, and played virtually every minute, but for a two game absence in the autumn. Contributed well with 5 assists.

LB. Leighton Baines

5 goals and 7 assists reads more like a decent midfielder, but add to that the 11 clean sheets and 24 bonus points, and you have England’s best defender. What Everton lack in clean sheet reliability, Baines more than makes up for in attacking threat and being an all round bloody good footballer.

CB. Branislav Ivanovic

Chelsea’s best defender. Not a racist. Or a publicity whore. Or a maverick. Or Gary Cahill. Just a defender. Scored 5 and kept 12 clean sheets. Finihsed week 1 with 24 points – the 2nd highest weekly total of the season.

CB. Jan Vertonghen

Tottenham’s failure this year may be put down to the amount of clean sheets they kept. 9 in total is 5 less than both Arsenal and Chelsea. Vertonghen played all but 4 of Spurs’ games, and in all 9 of the clean sheet games. His 136 point total was nicely topped up by the regular bonus marks, 5 goals and 3 assists.

DM. Yaya Toure

Who else? He’s at an advantage in that he’s bumped forward every so often. Like many of the City players, he didn’t seem to have as spectacular a season as last time, but he scored as many goals, scored more bonus points and bettered his overall points total. He only failed to match his assist total. And where’s Michael Carrick? Labouring on 101 points with a third of the bonus marks and a lesser value than he started off with.

LM. Gareth Bale

Second highest scorer behind RVP and 3rd on the goalscoring charts behind RVP and Suarez. He scored more bonus points than any other player and his value increased more than any other player – from 9.5 to 11.1 million. Bale achieved double figures in 13 gameweeks – a third of the season. In 12 of his last 17 appearances of the season since the turn of the year, Bale either scored or assisted – and invariably bagged the big bonus points aswell. And everyone had him in their team.

CM. Santi Cazorla

The highest scoring newcomer to the Premiership. Double figures for goals and assists and a healthy bonus points haul. It’s a total you can imagine he’ll improve on next season as Arsenal’s new creative lynch pin.

RM. Juan Mata

Like Cazorla, Mata adapted easily to playing in England last season, and followed those impressive totals with an even better showing this time round. Was used relatively sparingly, and had a few dry patches during the seaosn, but nevertheless, amassed more assists than any other player, and hit 11 goals.

CF. Robin Van Persie

The league’s top scorer and only 1 point behind Bale in the bonus charts. RVP contributed something pointsworthy to all but 9 of the 38 games, and effectively won the title for United. Went on a 10 week run of scoring goals, assists or bonuses from Novemeber through to January, and scored the goal of the season to boot – the one that confirmed the title, against Villa, on the 22nd April.

CF. Luis Suarez

Picked up 3 bookings in his first 4 games, which saw him being booted out of a lot of teams early doors. And to infuriate those that picked him even further, he goes and scores a hat trick in week 6. He was pretty unstoppable from that week on, particularly at the start of 2013. If it hadn’t been for his suspensions, which amounted to 5 games, he may have ended up as the league’s top goalscorer. He won’t be playing until week 6 next season either.

Bargain team of the season

That team above would never have been affordable. Here are the players you’d never heard of last August.

GK. Asmir Begovic

The game’s leading goalkeeper up until Christmas. Had kept the most clean sheets, and had only conceded more than 2 goals in a game twice. The Stoke’s season collapsed. Begovic only kept 3 more clean sheets all season, but he had built up such a points lead over most other keepers, that he finished the season as the joint 2nd highest points scoring keeper. His value reached 5.9 million at one point – 1.4 million more than his starting price.

RB. Joey O’Brien

For a 4 million defender, 11 clean sheets, 2 goals, 4 assists and 11 bonus points is a good return. West Ham’s season started well, dipped in the middle and picked up again towards the end, and that matched the pattern of O’Brien’s scoring. His value eventually reached 4.8 million by season end.

LB. Angel Rangel

Rangel’s value actually decreased over the course of the season. Swansea never went on a run of keeping clean sheets, which may explain that, but Rangel reached a respectable 111 points with a 3 goal return and a good haul of 15 bonus points. Also matched Van Persie, Walcott, Tevez and Suarez with 2 player of the week awards.

CB. Ryan Shawcross

Followed the same path as Begovic. Starting at 5 million, Shawcross saw his value increase to 6 million in the space of 8 weeks during the autumn. That took him to Christmas. Cue Stoke collapse. But by that point he’d kept 9 clean sheets, and only 5 other defenders finished the season with more.

CB. Per Mertesacker

And Mertesacker was one of them. Much maligned, but managed to usurp Vermaelen from the Arsenal starting line up, and form a good partnership with Laurent Koscielny. Mertesacker, I suspect, will start higher than 5 million next season. Maybe his reputation went before him. Finished with 3 goals and 14 clean sheets.

DM. Jonathan De Guzman

Ended with 5 goals and 7 assists, although had his best scoring run through the periods of the season when he wasn’t an automatic first choice. De Guzman nailed a starting place down from February onward, but he, like most other Swansea players seemed to put the brakes on a little once they’d secured the League Cup, and European football. Still better that Michael Carrick.

RM. Michu

Swansea were a good team to go to for your bargain buys. Not that Michu ended the season as a bargain. Michu started at 6.5, but had reached 7.1 by week 3. Eventually reached 8.5 million by March, but dropped back to 7.9 by the end, as Swansea slowed down, and an injury threatened to end his season early (it didn’t, despite the papers widely reporting that it had). Possibly the bargain buy of any Premier League season.

CM. Marouane Fellaini

Another whose value peaked and then dropped again as the season wore on. Started with a man of the match winning performance in their first game – a victory over United. Reached gameweek double figures 5 times before Christmas, but lagged behind as silly suspensions were picked up. Was the 5th best bonus scorer in the whole game, and finished with his personal best goals and fantasy points haul.

LM. Robert Snodgrass

Norwich enjoyed a period through October into December where they went 10 games unbeaten, largely due to solid defensive displays which saw them keep 4 clean sheets in 6. When the defence buckled, they simply scored more goals. Snodgrass contributed three double figure gameweeks towards the end of that 10 game run, and then 3 more scoring weeks in the last 3 games of the season to ensure Premier League safety. Was the 5th best bonus scoring midfielder with 23 points.

CF. Rickie Lambert

The second highest scoring Englishman in the game behind Theo Walcott. Many people questioned whether he’d be able to carry his scoring form from lower divisions into the Premier League. He did. He bagged 15 goals in his debut season, with 8 assists and 32 bonus marks.

CF. Christian Benteke 

The other from-out-of-nowhere buy of the season – along with Michu. Looks capable of playing for most teams in the league. Benteke’s debut Premier season produced 19 goals, 14 of which came in the 2nd half of the campaign to (almost single-handedly) save Villa from the Championship.

Buckets League Winners

A Pint of Fuller’s – P Hawkins – 2194 points

Champions League Qualifiers

Hedgehog’s Corpse – Nick Smith – 2120 points

Pescara Rangers – Stewart Pope – 2113 points

(Your Ad Here) – Matthew Hopkins – 2072 points

Buckets Cup Winners

(Your Ad Here) –  Matthew Hopkins

Highest weekly score

Panza Grande – Stuart Baker – 103 points – GW34

Highest monthly score

A Pint of Fuller’s – P Hawkins – 361 points – December

Most manager of the week awards

Goodbutnosigurdsson – Robert Hewer – 6 winning gameweeks

Most manager of the month awards

Goodbutnosigurdsson – Robert Hewer – 2 winning game months

Bermie United – Glen Davies – 2 winning game months

Highest scoring player

Robin Van Persie – Manchester United – 262 points

Highest scoring goalkeeper

Joe Hart – Manchester City – 158 points

Highest scoring defender

Leighton Baines – Everton – 177 points

Highest scoring midfielder

Gareth Bale – Tottenham Hotspur – 249 points

Highest scoring attacker

Robin Van Persie – Manchester United – 262 points

Most goals

Robin Van Persie – Manchester United – 26 goals

Most assists

Juan Mata – Chelsea – 18 assists

Most clean sheets

Joe Hart – Manchester City – 18 clean sheets

Most bonus points

Gareth Bale – Tottenham Hotspur – 50 bonus points

Highest value increase

Gareth Bale – Tottenham Hotspur – 1.6 million

Highest weekly score (player)

Theo Walcott – Arsenal – 26 points

Most player of the week awards

Carlos Tevez – Manchester City – 2

Robin Van Persie –  Manchester United – 2

Luis Suarez – Liverpool – 2

Theo Walcott – Arsenal – 2

Angel Rangel – Swansea City – 2

Most player of the week awards (team)

Arsenal and Liverpool – 6

Most donkey of the week awards (team)

QPR – 4

Most goal of the season nominations

Adel Taraabt – QPR – 3

Most goal of the season nominations (team)

Manchester United, QPR, Everton – 4

Goal of the season

1. Robin Van Persie – Manchester United v Aston Villa – GW34

2. Matthew Lowton – Aston Villa v Stoke City – GW32

3. Cameron Jerome – Stoke City v Southampton – GW20

Gameweek 29 results

1 A Pint of Fuller’s P Hawkins 59 1,673
2 Hedgehog Corpse FC Nick Smith 57 1,647
3 Pescara Rangers Stewart Pope 39 1,627
4 (Your Ad Here) Matthew Hopkins 55 1,605
5 Les Canaris David Spinks 59 1,599
6 Neil Madrid Neil Strong 54 1,577
7 Panza Grande XI Stuart Baker 64 1,557
8 Shoelace Untied Caroline Strong 45 1,553
9 Uriah Rennie 2nd XI Neil Greenwood 27 1,523
10 Pimp My Side Jordan Raper 36 1,510
11 Doing the 91 Colin Goulding 44 1,510
12 Rip Roaring Reds Sean Whyton 60 1,498
13 A Few Good Men Darren Pope 22 1,485
14 goodbutnosigurdsson Rob Hewer 71 1,470
15 None Of The Above Jonny Mabbutt 30 1,455
16 Release The Hounds 5 Paul Mitchell 39 1,433
17 Fancy a brouhaha? Ian Williams 56 1,419
18 Crazy Legs XI David Caldicott 38 1,406
19 Bermie Utd Glen Davies 26 1,402
20 Borussia HairBack Alex Ritchie 2 1,399
21 Pretty Schitty City Alex Michaluk 28 1,398
22 Upper Bullens Scouse Mouse 65 1,388
23 Body Issues FC Arron Fellows 31 1,382
24 Real Jorvik Simon Brown 34 1,301
25 Moxie XI Luke O’Shea 5 1,279
26 Lothersdale FC Simon Rider 5 1,272
27 Inter Ealing Paul Bentz 47 1,272

This is probably the week where we can take a rough guess at which managers have given up, which were in an impossible position, which used their transfers and tactics to the best of their ability, and which know how to play this game properly.

Single figure scorers – sorry, there’s no refunds. Up to 30 points – I did warn you this week was coming. Between 30 and 50 points – good effort – probably relying on 8 or 9 men. Over 50 – good fantasy management.

It’s Goodbutnosigurdsson again who top score. This is their 4th week as highest scorers. Makes you wonder how they’re still only in 14th position. Well – they do like a tinker. Without even looking I can tell you they’ve used more transfers than anyone else. They used 4 this week – 2 of them free. So for a hit of 8 points they gained 71. In a gameweek like this, it was probably worth the tinker. Some good transfers made on their behalf too. Remy, Suarez, Coutinho and Sissoko amassed 38 points between them. And all could feature prominently in weeks to come.

At the top of the table, Pescara drop further. Not through lack of players – just unlucky transfers and lack of points. Snodgrass and Coutinho only managed 4 points between them. The rest of their team underperformed. This has created a 46 point gap between them and Fullers. Hedgehog Corpse creep into 2nd. Other then Pescara, the chasing pack all scored in and around the 55 point mark, so it’s as you were in terms of positioning. Panza Grande have climbed into contention for 4th place with a healthy 64 point haul. Pescara’s dip in form could be opening up 3rd place for the likes of (Your Ad Here) and Les Canaris.

In the battle of the captains of choice, Luis Suarez came out on top. He’s now got more goals than Robin Van Persie, and is only 2 points behind him in overall totals. Having both him and Gareth Bale in your team would have bagged you 20 points. With Suarez as captain, you’d have picked up 32 points altogether. Jan Vertonghen was Spurs’ highest scorer this week. Bale, by his recent standards, had an off week. No double figures for him this week – just a measly 8 points. Vertonghen scored both Spurs goals and picked up 2 bonuses, totaling 14 points. But, in a week with hardly any big name players playing, it was all about picking the right bargains. As far as I ‘m aware no-one plumped for Andros Townsend or Artur Boruc. Both at 4.4 million and scoring 16 and 14 points respectively.

In the cup, the semi finals have been decided. A Pint of Fuller’s look like they’re going to clean up. Panza Grande and (Your Ad Here) are in form however. The three of them currently lead the March manager of the month table. Surprise package is Upper Bullens. They managed the 2nd highest weekly score this week, so shouldn’t be discounted.

  • Player of the week – Andros Townsend – 16 points. Digging QPR out of the mire. He looked impressive. 
  • Bargains of the week – Artur Boruc – 14 points. Last minute penalty save.
  • Donkey of the week – Grant Holt – -1 points. Last minute penalty miss. Nice symmetry.

Goal of the weekend

Townsend again.