Gameweek 33 results

1  same The Craggy Islanders
Adrian Roche
85 2086
2  same Perfidious Albion
Andrew Swift
77 2066
3  same But Da Pitch Ain’t 1
Trev Reams
78 2052
4  same Neil Madrid
Neil Strong
90 2018
5  same Bielsa Ringing
Alan Hardy
69 1974
6  same Shoelace Untied
Caroline Strong
70 1958
7  same FC Caligula
Ajay Supeda
64 1930
8  same INIT FC
Mustafa khan
72 1913
9  up FTM
Stu Smith
72 1895
10  same Edgbaston
Micheal Dinneen
60 1888
11  down Rip Roaring Reds
Sean Whyton
49 1886
12  same Aribo Haribo
Paul Hawkins
60 1861
13  up Game of Stones
Ryan Garoghan
75 1858
14  same Deeney in a Bottle
Stephanie Cripps
42 1842
15  same Frostee Rucker
Paul Bentz
46 1835
16  down Upper Bullens
Andy Taylor
20 1825
17  up Cookie fc
Peter Cook
59 1813
18  up King raggg
Steven Darling
61 1801
19  up Pretty Schitty City
Alex Michaluk
73 1800
20  down Nashton Villa
Jaime Nash
41 1793
21  up Dinamo Spinks
David Spinks
51 1787
22  up Mour Salt and Pep
Noel Driver
88 1780
23  down Salah Buffoon!!!
Jitesh Lakhani
47 1780
24  down RICO UNITED
JASON REACHER
14 1773
25  up Kebab Eaters Utd
Paul Howard
87 1762
26  up Crazy Leg XI
David Caldicott
51 1744
27  down SLABHEAD FC
Adam Burnett
34 1740
28  down Kompany & Co
DEAN CRIPPS
8 1738
29  up Your Ad Here
Matthew Hopkins
62 1737
30  down Fake Madrid
Andrew Wade
29 1736
31  up PenshawPerformers
david bruce
64 1726
32  up Need son luck
Matt Jarvis
74 1726
33  down Musttryharder fc
Paul Telford
25 1715
34  same Hemel Hotspurs
Paul Jarvis
59 1694
35  up Dropit like its Hart
Jason Earwicker
68 1683
36  up Greeeenteeam
adam greenwood
61 1682
37  down El Loco No Joko
Paul Murray
19 1665
38  down Real Jorvik
Simon Brown
28 1664
39  down Morningblues
Jeff Morning
20 1653
40  down The Big Lewandowski
Paul Callaghan
22 1653
41  down Atlético Chappers
Richard Chapman
30 1650
42  up Pique Blinders
Colin Goulding
33 1640
43  down QUEEN OF THE NORTH
DORINE REACHER
14 1638
44  same romeoshondavan
Rob Hewer
19 1619
45  same Puddle Splash Van
Ian Williams
33 1617
46  same Hoose Reus
James Whitfield
42 1613
47  up ClipityKlopptotitle
tanya thursby
27 1567
48  down It’s coming home
scott mcgow
21 1565
49  same The Mindless Morons
John Seacroft
26 1489
50  same Ross’s champions
darren frankland
14 1418

 

League leaders – The Craggy Islanders – Adrian Roche – 2086 points

As we get to the arse end of the season we’ll take a gameweekly look at how the title race is panning out. It looks like one of three teams for the top prize. All have undertaken a slightly different end of season strategy regarding their chips and wildcards. Of the three it’s the Islanders that appear to be in the strongest position with a wildcard, bench boost and triple captain remaining. I predict a wildcard in the coming gameweek with a bench boost following in GW35. That leaves their triple captain possibly for the last week when the scores can go crazy, form definitely goes out the window, all defences tend to go on holiday and strikers fill their boots. Albion have the highest accumulative score over the last three weeks but only have their free hit remaining. Watch out for that being played in GW35. Da Pitch have dropped back slightly, being the least successful of the three at negotiating the last three weeks, but with two more double gameweeks remaining and their triple captain and bench boost chips untouched, they could force their way back into the reckoning. Maybe we’ll see a brave punt on a GW34 Lewis Dunk triple captain?

Manager of the week – Neil Madrid – Neil Strong – 90 points

Virtually the same team that failed in blank gameweek 31 came through this reduced gameweek to spectacular effect. Backing any striker worth his salt against Huddersfield seems to be the sensible way forward at the moment – step forward Jamie Vardy. Eden Hazard would have been as effective a captain choice. They were the players of choice for the top nine teams in the league. Having both, as many teams did given the smaller pool of players to pick from, guaranteed you a score somewhere in the 70’s or above. Youri Tielemans may have been the player making the difference for Madrid, tipping the score out of the 80’s. The young Belgian has a goal or assist in each of the last six games. It’s a shame and a bit of a headache given his (and Vardy’s) form that Leicester don’t appear in either double gameweek.

Player of the week – Jamie Vardy – Leicester City – 16 points

Two goals and an assist against a Huddersfield team now totally devoid of any fight was as obvious a captain choice as there’s been all season. Especially for a striker in a rich vein of form – Vardy has eight in eight. I’m not in sure you need to be a striker in form to get something against Huddersfield. Harry Kane faces up to that defence next week. In his quest for the golden boot, it could be brutal.

Bargain of the week – Phil Jagielka – Everton – 15 points

In gameweek 1 he was sent off after 39 minutes, collected -3 points, and looked likely to never play again. He did – two more performances amassed 7 more points to put him back in the black. A warm up injury to Michael Keane promoted him to the starting line up this weekend and he quadrupled his total for the season in the space of 90 minutes.

Twat of the week – Nathaniel Clyne – Bournemouth – -1 points

Hooked at half time having already conceded two and been booked. Bournemouth aren’t the most dependable when looking for clean sheet points and Clyne hasn’t provided any attacking full back assists as it was hoped he might since his loan move.

Goal of the week – Eden Hazard (1st goal).

 

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Gameweek 30 and Buckets Cup final results

1  same The Craggy Islanders
Adrian Roche
74 1871
2  same But Da Pitch Ain’t 1
Trev Reams
74 1865
3  same Perfidious Albion
Andrew Swift
61 1843
4  same Neil Madrid
Neil Strong
53 1806
5  up Shoelace Untied
Caroline Strong
90 1777
6  down Bielsa Ringing
Alan Hardy
32 1757
7  up INIT FC
Mustafa khan
57 1736
8  up FC Caligula
Ajay Supeda
73 1732
9  down FTM
Stu Smith
40 1721
10  same Edgbaston
Micheal Dinneen
65 1707
11  up Aribo Haribo
Paul Hawkins
72 1681
12  down Frostee Rucker
Paul Bentz
37 1677
13  same Deeney in a Bottle
Stephanie Cripps
54 1676
14  same King raggg
Steven Darling
59 1676
15  down Rip Roaring Reds
Sean Whyton
42 1672
16  same Upper Bullens
Andy Taylor
64 1666
17  up Cookie fc
Peter Cook
77 1637
18  same Game of Stones
Ryan Garoghan
41 1632
19  down Fake Madrid
Andrew Wade
37 1630
20  down RICO UNITED
JASON REACHER
45 1630
21  up Nashton Villa
Jaime Nash
60 1624
22  down SLABHEAD FC
Adam Burnett
41 1623
23  up Kompany & Co
DEAN CRIPPS
62 1615
24  up Salah Buffoon!!!
Jitesh Lakhani
81 1613
25  up Pretty Schitty City
Alex Michaluk
61 1612
26  down Dinamo Spinks
David Spinks
38 1604
27  down Mour Salt and Pep
Noel Driver
27 1587
28  up PenshawPerformers
david bruce
62 1581
29  down Musttryharder fc
Paul Telford
42 1576
30  up Need son luck
Matt Jarvis
76 1575
31  down Crazy Leg XI
David Caldicott
53 1574
32  down Kebab Eaters Utd
Paul Howard
59 1566
33  up The Big Lewandowski
Paul Callaghan
50 1549
34  up Real Jorvik
Simon Brown
55 1548
35  same Atlético Chappers
Richard Chapman
53 1546
36  up QUEEN OF THE NORTH
DORINE REACHER
55 1543
37  same El Loco No Joko
Paul Murray
49 1542
38  down Your Ad Here
Matthew Hopkins
39 1540
39  up Hemel Hotspurs
Paul Jarvis
64 1534
40  down Pique Blinders
Colin Goulding
43 1525
41  same romeoshondavan
Rob Hewer
53 1522
42  down Morningblues
Jeff Morning
44 1521
43  up Greeeenteeam
adam greenwood
61 1518
44  down Dropit like its Hart
Jason Earwicker
48 1512
45  same Hoose Reus
James Whitfield
46 1498
46  same ClipityKlopptotitle
tanya thursby
24 1470
47  up Puddle Splash Van
Ian Williams
88 1466
48  down It’s coming home
scott mcgow
47 1452
49  same The Mindless Morons
John Seacroft
43 1381
50  same Ross’s champions
darren frankland
53 1347

 

Buckets Cup Final

The first silverware of the season has been won by The Craggy Islanders, who triumphed in the Buckets Cup by 74-53 over Neil Madrid. It’s the Islanders’ first cup success to add to their league title win of two seasons ago. Their weekly total enabled them to hold onto their lead at the top of the table and keeps them on course for the double. They built up a healthy lead on the Saturday with double figure returns from Ryan Fraser and Jamie Vardy and that lead was extended further with two more doubles from Sadio Mane and captain, Mo Salah. Neil Madrid, despite having Raheem Sterling in their ranks, couldn’t match that scoring. A Liverpool clean sheet and a contribution from Gonzalo Higuain was needed but wasn’t forthcoming. Congratulations to the Islanders

Manager of the week – Shoelace Untied – Caroline Strong – 90 points

Shoelace bag their second weekly high of the season and are firmly in contention for the top four, sitting just 29 points off Neil Madrid in the prize winning spots. Their 90 points came without a contribution from Raheem Sterling. but did include a canny captain punt on Jamie Vardy, as well as a fifth double figure haul from arguably the most reliable dead ball specialist in the league, Luca Milivojevic.

Player of the week – Raheem Sterling – Manchester City – 21 points

Raheem Sterling is the first player to post three weekly highs with his second hat trick of the season. He sits just five points behind Mo Salah now in the highest scoring player charts and whereas the Liverpool man may have been the favourite for most manager’s triple captain choice, his drastic drop in form and the recent swing in favour back towards City in the title race might force a change of tack.

Bargain of the week – Ayoze Perez – Newcastle United – 16 points

About this time last season Ayoze Perez went on a scoring run that helped lift Newcastle away from the relegation battle ahead of schedule – and saw them clamber up into 10th place. That might be about to happen again. Newcastle play next week’s blank and look likely to feature in one of the doubles – probably GW35.

Twat of the week – Jamaal Lascelles – Newcastle United – -1 points

A good week for Perez and Newcastle was a bad week for Jamaal Lascelles. Hooked at half time with an injury and a booking and therefore playing no part in the comeback from 2-0 down to 3-2.

Goal oftnhe week – Anthony Knockaert. At 3m50s

Season review

1  same The Vinegar Pissers
P Hawkins
84 2289
2  same Nashton Villa
Jaime Nash
65 2253
3  same Edgbaston
Micheal Dinneen
67 2251
4  same Despicable Mee
Trevor Gordon
67 2250
5  same FC Caligula
Ajay Supeda
86 2245
6  same The Craggy Islanders
Adrian Roche
65 2216
7  same Hornets
Andrew Wade
76 2215
8  up INIT FC
Mustafa khan
74 2193
9  down Brexiter City
Colin Goulding
52 2184
10  up It’sOnlyAGameFarke!
David Spinks
66 2156
11  up Rico united
JASON REACHER
71 2155
12  up The winnings R mine
david bruce
71 2148
13  down greenyteamy
adam greenwood
51 2139
14  down Fun Lovren Criminals
Paul Callaghan
34 2134
15  up Game of Throw-Ins
Ryan Garoghan
73 2133
16  same Queen of the north
DORINE REACHER
55 2125
17  down Emergency Gap Jumper
Ian Williams
54 2125
18  same Kebab Eaters Utd
Paul Howard
60 2108
19  same Pure Buffoonery!
Jitesh Lakhani
54 2103
20  up We are Ayling
Paul Murray
68 2095
21  up Your Ad Here
Matthew Hopkins
88 2094
22  up Gotta Light?
Andrew Swift
66 2089
23  down Shoelace Untied
Caroline Strong
53 2089
24  down Klopp of the Pochs
Jason Earwicker
58 2082
25  down Rip Roaring Reds
Sean Whyton
48 2078
26  down Atlético Chappers
Richard Chapman
55 2073
27  up Flying squad
Matt Jarvis
87 2072
28  up Pretty Schitty City
Alex Michaluk
85 2065
29  down To Elland Back
Alan Hardy
69 2061
30  up Neil Madrid
Neil Strong
84 2061
31  down Golden Boys
Stephanie Cripps
55 2052
32  up King Dunlap
Paul Bentz
80 2050
33  same mrs mcgoo
laura barrett
70 2048
34  down Aquamar 1564
Noel Driver
43 2035
35  same Crazylegs XI
David Caldicott
57 2021
36  same blakes11
Steven Darling
54 1998
37  same musttryharder FC
Paul Telford
52 1995
38  same Kompany & Co
DEAN CRIPPS
58 1983
39  same FTM
Stu Smith
55 1980
40  up Jarv88
Paul Jarvis
85 1918
41  down iamgroot
scott mcgow
56 1903
42  up romeoshondavan
Rob Hewer
66 1898
43  up Upper Bullens
Andy Taylor
69 1896
44  down cookster fc
Peter Cook
50 1895
45  same disco dancer
darren frankland
61 1879
46  same Pudding And Pie
John Seacroft
52 1848
47  same Bakerlona FC
Stuart Baker
59 1829
48  same Release The Hounds
Paul Mitchell
50 1799
49  same Real Jorvik
Simon Brown
50 1752
50  same Biscuitmen
Chris Morton
71 1653

 

Winners – The Vinegar Pissers 

The third manager to pick up their second title scoring the second highest finishing total. The Vinegar Pissers only spent six weeks outside of our top 10, first taking root in GW5. They did drop to the depths of 11th and 12th, before permanently floating around 6th until gameweek 29, when a manager of the week performance saw them rise to third. Then GW31 – only four games – but a Mohamed Salah masterclass and everybody’s posting 100+ totals and challenging for the highest weekly score prize. The VP’s kicked arse with 124 points from eight players, 58 of which came from Salah. That put them at the top of the league and that’s where they stayed – and in truth, no-one really got that close to them. Congratulations to the Pissers. They got as high as 8,202nd in the world, never took more than a four point hit, played their triple captain and bench boost in the run in and utilised their free hit well, picking up a good score with it and a green arrow just before Christmas. Interestingly, they played their wildcards at almost the earliest possibly opportunity on both occasions. Proving that there is still no logic to this game and it’s all complete luck.

Runners up – Nashton Villa, Edgbaston and Despicable Mee 

Our Champions League qualifiers all had similar seasons, making their surge into the top ten and then the top four at around the same time. It was during March that they all lost ground on the VPs and were left desperately trying to claw back the points lost during gameweeks 29 and 31 – the two weeks that definitely won the VP’s that manager of the month, and arguably won them the league. It was a superb debut season for Nashton who reached their highest worldwide position after GW37, but were unable to continue the rise and challenge for the top spot. They would have had to surpass the 100 point mark in GW38 to knock our champions off their perch.

Edgbaston have finally crept into our top four after two consecutive 5th place finishes, despite finishing lower in the world rankings than in both of their last two attempts. And fourth placed Despicable Mee are regressing. Two consecutive runners up placings and now fourth place. Once always the bridesmaid – now a distant uncle only invited because they had a space to fill. In all seriousness – if one of these two doesn’t win this title soon, I’d be very surprised.

The rest

There were valiant efforts by two former champs who just ran out of steam at the last knockings – FC Caligula and The Craggy Islanders finished 5th and 6th respectively. We’re sure to see them in the running next season. Hornets, a total rookie FPL debutant, who were top every week bar three between gameweeks 2 and 29, finished in a respectable 7th. By gameweek 16 they had climbed to 1,663rd in the world, as high (possibly) as any Buckets manager has been, but they peaked too early. Better understanding of the chips and when to play them might serve them better next season. The rest of us – probably got stung by Harry Kane once too often, and only realised when it was too late that they should have had Mo Salah as captain EVERY WEEK.

The awards

We had more managers of the week scoring 100+ scores than in any previous season. The Vinegar Pissers’ 124 point score was the second highest weekly winning score, but falls way behind their own record set in the 2013-2014 season when they managed 165 points in a week in which virtually everybody passed the 100 point barrier following a mammoth double gameweek. That same season produced the highest winning finishing score in our league of 2356 points. Despite there being more 100+ weekly winners in this season, The VPs finished 67 points behind that total. It’s worth noting that the 124 points scored in GW31 was done so from only four games. Another thirteen of our fifty teams passed the century mark that week. And most of them were only fielding bit part teams.

We had ten different managers of the month, six managers taking two weekly accolades, but only one, The bloody Vinegar Pissers, managing three highest weekly scores. Shoelace Untied took the December prize, accumulating 477 points for the month – the highest ever monthly total.

The players

We may have fallen just short of breaking our manager records this season, but the reason we got so close was largely due to one player – Mohamed Salah. He became the first player to pass 300 points for the season. No-one else came close – which may explain why we didn’t quite eclipse the higher scores from four years ago. Back then, in the ‘Suarez’ season, there was a great supporting cast, with the likes of Daniel Sturridge, Steven Gerrard, Raheem Sterling, Robin Van Persie, Yaya Toure and Eden Hazard all scoring big, playing consistently and featuring in a lot of teams. This season only Harry Kane, Sterling and Kevin De Bruyne passed the 200 point mark. Despite Kane running Salah (fairly) close in the golden boot chase, he was still close to 100 points behind. Which says more about the frustrating, annoying, inconsistent, trolling season the Spurs striker had. Nowt for weeks then just when you get sick of it all three frickin’ hat tricks…or whatever it was. Dickhead. Still – he’ll be in from the start next season.

Kane picked up more player of the week awards (three) than anyone else. Salah, who only scored more than anyone else once throughout the whole season, was much more consistent. A goal every week rather than three and a gap. And lets mention GW31 again – 29 points – the highest ever single match gameweek score. Sergio Aguero, Heung-Min Son and Marko Arnautovic were the only other players to get two player of the week awards. Tottenham won the award six times ahead of Chelsea with five, and then perhaps surprisingly, Manchester City, with only four winners. Ayoze Perez, Federico Fernandez and Callum Wilson showed up on the bargain list more than once and Newcastle appeared to be the best go-to cheapo team, winning the award five times over the course of the season. Watford were king of the twats offering up six ‘worst of the week’, with Jose Holebas winning the award twice. Jack Stephens also won it twice – and in consecutive weeks, so well done to him. Manchester City did dominate the goal of the week contenders with eight wins, but anyone who tells you that Jamie Vardy’s over the shoulder volley against West Brom in GW30 isn’t the goal of the season, is some kind of goon.

Debatable team of the season

  • GK – David De Gea – 172 points

No arguments here, although Lorus Karius did pick up more points per match of all keepers playing more than 10 games. Karius and Mignolet played half a season each – 19 games a piece. Mignolet scored on average 1.1 points per game less and kept three less clean sheets – although still 7 out of 19 which is pretty respectable.

  • DR – Cesar Azpilicueta – 175 points
  • DL – Marcos Alonso – 165 points
  • DC – Nicolas Otamendi – 156 points
  • DC – Jan Vertonghen – 138 points

Antonio Valencia, Ben Davies and Kyle Walker all scored more than Vertonghen, but none are central defenders. In the favoured three at the back, you’d probably have to drop Alonso. He hasn’t scored enough to warrant his usual left wing back position ahead of the highest scoring midfielders either…coming up next. Andrew Robertson missed 16 games and Phil Jones missed 15 games, but both beat all of the above, other than Alonso, in points per game. Jones managed 15 clean sheets in his 23 games. Basically – if he didn’t play – United usually conceded.

  • DM – Luca Milivojevic – 144 points
  • CM – Kevin De Bruyne – 209 points
  • AM – Mohamed Salah – 303 points
  • AM – Raheem Sterling – 229 points
  • AM – Christian Eriksen – 199 points

Obviously, this is where it all gets a bit ‘debatable’. No real team is complete without some kind of defensive holding player, so when you see the PFA team of the year, and it’s basically a goalkeeper and 10 attackers, you do wonder if they ever really watch the game. But then if you were going to stick a defensive midfielder in there, you wouldn’t necessarily be basing their inclusion on their fantasy points total, seeing as how nothing they do is ever taken into consideration when the scores are totted up. You’d just pick N’Golo Kante and move on wouldn’t you? Milivojevic is definitely worth a mention though. Arguably the most reliable penalty taker in the league, double figures for goals and in the top 10 for bonuses.

  • CF – Harry Kane – 217 points

His best goalscoring season but not his his best fantasy season. Too many braces and hat tricks, if their can be such a thing, and not enough consistency. Kane would go missing for weeks, but then burst back into life racking up the highest bonus score too. It was all about catching him on a good day. He blanked in 19 gameweeks – half a season. Salah failed to score anything other than appearance points in only 10 games. Aguero, and latterly, Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang, finished the season with more points per match. There’s your front three for August.

 

 

Player awards

Gameweek 30 results

1  up Brexiter City
Colin Goulding
43 1748
2  down Hornets
Andrew Wade
23 1745
3  same The Vinegar Pissers
P Hawkins
48 1744
4  up The Craggy Islanders
Adrian Roche
49 1724
5  up Despicable Mee
Trevor Gordon
59 1710
6  same Nashton Villa
Jaime Nash
37 1705
7  up Game of Throw-Ins
Ryan Garoghan
48 1700
8  same Fun Lovren Criminals
Paul Callaghan
47 1699
9  down The winnings R mine
david bruce
31 1698
10  down Gotta Light?
Andrew Swift
14 1697
11  same greenyteamy
adam greenwood
41 1687
12  up FC Caligula
Ajay Supeda
64 1687
13  down Edgbaston
Micheal Dinneen
42 1672
14  same INIT FC
Mustafa khan
47 1668
15  up Queen of the north
DORINE REACHER
52 1662
16  up Golden Boys
Stephanie Cripps
62 1655
17  down It’sOnlyAGameFarke!
David Spinks
36 1655
18  same Emergency Gap Jumper
Ian Williams
53 1654
19  down Rip Roaring Reds
Sean Whyton
31 1651
20  down Kompany & Co
DEAN CRIPPS
38 1638
21  down Rico united
JASON REACHER
42 1638
22  same We are Ayling
Paul Murray
37 1629
23  same Atlético Chappers
Richard Chapman
45 1626
24  same Shoelace Untied
Caroline Strong
46 1616
25  up Crazylegs XI
David Caldicott
72 1609
26  same Aquamar 1564
Noel Driver
37 1599
27  down Neil Madrid
Neil Strong
24 1597
28  up Pretty Schitty City
Alex Michaluk
54 1594
29  same Flying squad
Matt Jarvis
47 1591
30  down Kebab Eaters Utd
Paul Howard
25 1587
31  down Your Ad Here
Matthew Hopkins
33 1585
32  down musttryharder FC
Paul Telford
28 1570
33  up Pure Buffoonery!
Jitesh Lakhani
47 1569
34  same King Dunlap
Paul Bentz
34 1565
35  up To Elland Back
Alan Hardy
45 1564
36  down Klopp of the Pochs
Jason Earwicker
20 1564
37  down blakes11
Steven Darling
37 1553
38  same Upper Bullens
Andy Taylor
31 1547
39  same mrs mcgoo
laura barrett
69 1530
40  same cookster fc
Peter Cook
54 1510
41  up FTM
Stu Smith
45 1484
42  up Jarv88
Paul Jarvis
56 1475
43  down Pudding And Pie
John Seacroft
25 1474
44  same romeoshondavan
Rob Hewer
48 1471
45  down Bakerlona FC
Stuart Baker
23 1470
46  down iamgroot
scott mcgow
50 1469
47  same disco dancer
darren frankland
24 1416
48  same Real Jorvik
Simon Brown
39 1408
49  same Release The Hounds
Paul Mitchell
42 1389
50  same Biscuitmen
Chris Morton
57 1268

 

Buckets Cup semi finals

The final of the 2018 Buckets Cup will be between Game Of Throw Ins and Emergency Gap Jumper. GOTI beat Hornets, who had the unluckiest of gameweeks. As well as semi final defeat, they also lost their lead at the top of the table, no thanks to their strike force accumulating -1 points from 43 minutes of football played between them. They weren’t the only team to suffer from the Jordan Ayew sending off and the Harry Kane injury. Most of us had Harry Kane as captain. Emergecy Gap jumper were one of the few to continue with Mo Salah. In truth, had both EGJ and their opponents, Atletico Chappers, chose Kane, the result wouldn’t have been any different, but following that rare blank from the Egyptian, a single goal from the Spurs striker would have seen Chappers progress at EGJ’s expense. And now we’re wondering whether he’s out for the season.

It’s pure coincidence that the final has been drawn to be played in the reduced GW31. It’ll be interesting to see how our finalists play it. As it stands both teams have six potential starters and a remaining wildcard. Game Of Throw Ins have two free transfers. Arguably, they’re also in with a chance of league victory, sitting just 41 points behind our top team. EGJ are 94 points back from first and 70 points adrift from fourth. There’s an outside chance of league money, but that’s a lot less likely than their opponents. Of the eight teams that are playing, there’s not an awful lot to choose from. I guarantee three Liverpool players in both teams, but after that you’re picking and choosing from a pretty woeful bunch, bar maybe Xherdan Shaqiri. Only four players appear in the top 30 overall scorers. Where’s it going to leave you by the time GW32 comes round?

Manager of the week – David Caldicott – Crazylegs XI – 72 points

Classic ghostship material. Here we all are trying to negotiate the choppy waters ahead leading into GW31 and from out of nowhere comes Crazylegs, who lost interest around Christmas, captained by David Silva. They’ve been captained by David Silva since November. All the way through the time he was out and back in Spain for family reasons. They took eight points from the bench from two replacement players. They picked up six points from the first Arsenal clean sheet since the days of John Lukic and leapt eight places above a clutch of teams who I guarantee spent all week agonising over their team picks. Bastards.

Player of the week – Kenedy – 16 points

A double that did for Mauricio Pellegrino and yo-yo’d Newcastle back up to mid table in this crazy relegation race. The Brazilian has been a regular starter since his loan move, will cost you only £4.7 million and is averaging 6 points a game. Newcastle have a double gameweek on the horizon and he must be a consideration for a bench boost squad.

Bargain of the week – Chris Wood – 15 points

Back after a long injury lay off and has 20 points in two weeks. However, both totals were amassed from substitute appearances and it’ll be tough to dislodge Ashley Barnes from the Burnley central striker role given the form that he is also in at the moment. Having said that Sean Dyche has brought Wood on in both matches to partner Barnes, so whose to say he wouldn’t consider starting them both.

Twat of the week – Jordan Ayew – -2 points

Now you’ve got to start searching for a new third striker. There aren’t many out there. Ayew was fulfilling that role quite nicely until the 10th minute of Swansea’s game against Huddersfield on Saturday. Imagine having him alongside Kane and Aguero for the weekend. Three players not even completing a half of football. Imagine.

Goal of the week – Jamie Vardy. 

Definite GOTS contender – 27s in.

 

Gameweek 14 results – November manager of the month

1  same Hornets
Andrew Wade
46 837
2  same Fun Lovren Criminals
Paul Callaghan
43 808
3  up Gotta Light?
Andrew Swift
60 805
4  up greenyteamy
adam greenwood
63 800
5  down Despicable Mee
Trevor Gordon
55 799
6  same Kompany & Co
DEAN CRIPPS
63 789
7  same Brexiter City
Colin Goulding
65 779
8  up Edgbaston
Micheal Dinneen
57 772
9  down The Vinegar Pissers
P Hawkins
44 761
10  up Crazylegs XI
David Caldicott
61 760
11  up The Craggy Islanders
Adrian Roche
52 758
12  up Atlético Chappers
Richard Chapman
67 756
13  up Nashton Villa
Jaime Nash
55 753
14  down INIT FC
Mustafa khan
39 752
15  down Rip Roaring Reds
Sean Whyton
47 748
16  down The winnings R mine
david bruce
53 742
17  down Neil Madrid
Neil Strong
45 740
18  down It’sOnlyAGameFarke!
David Spinks
38 727
19  up musttryharder FC
Paul Telford
65 725
20  down King Dunlap
Paul Bentz
50 724
21  up FC Caligula
Ajay Supeda
52 714
22  down Queen of the north
DORINE REACHER
39 712
23  down Golden Boys
Stephanie Cripps
40 711
24  up Game of Throw-Ins
Ryan Garoghan
55 711
25  down Jarv88
Paul Jarvis
46 710
26  up Klopp of the Pochs
Jason Earwicker
55 709
27  down Rico united
JASON REACHER
44 709
28  down Flying squad
Matt Jarvis
58 707
29  up romeoshondavan
Rob Hewer
54 703
30  down Aquamar 1564
Noel Driver
43 700
31  same Your Ad Here
Matthew Hopkins
48 697
32  down Pretty Schitty City
Alex Michaluk
42 696
33  up Real Jorvik
Simon Brown
60 695
34  up Upper Bullens
Andy Taylor
58 695
35  up Bakerlona FC
Stuart Baker
64 692
36  down Pure Buffoonery!
Jitesh Lakhani
48 692
37  down We are Ayling
Paul Murray
42 684
38  down cookster fc
Peter Cook
35 680
39  up Kebab Eaters Utd
Paul Howard
61 677
40  down mrs mcgoo
laura barrett
42 676
41  down To Elland Back
Alan Hardy
38 672
42  down FTM
Stu Smith
30 658
43  up Shoelace Untied
Caroline Strong
43 657
44  up Emergency Gap Jumper
Ian Williams
59 657
45  down Release The Hounds
Paul Mitchell
27 653
46  up Pudding And Pie
John Seacroft
36 628
47  down iamgroot
scott mcgow
37 626
48  same blakes11
Steven Darling
43 616
49  same disco dancer
darren frankland
56 597
50  same Biscuitmen
Chris Morton
44 522

 

November manager of the month – Greenyteamy – Adam Greenwood – 283 points

Greenyteamy’s monster scores in the first two weeks of the month put them so far out in front it was difficult to see how anyone could catch them. Despite a slight slip up last week, another impressive score this week – only four behind the week’s best – made sure of their monthly victory. Their four week run has seem them leap from twenty-fourth to fourth and into that pack chasing down the Hornets, who still hold a 31 point lead at the top.

Manager of the week – Atletico Chappers – Richard Chapman – 67 points

Up into 12th and finishing 3rd in the November table Chappers have also made great strides in the last few weeks climbing from 37th at the end of October. They’ve tried out, and I suppose, been kind of successful, with a rotation of Watford captains for the last four weeks. Either Richarlison or Abdoulaye Doucoure are handed the armband and between them have picked up 4, 12, 6 and 6 points. There have been better options as captain, particularly with Mohamed Salah, Jamie Vardy and Marcos Alonso as ever presents. But had Chappers picked the best scoring of their Watford players each week, they’d have notched scores of 14, 12, 16 and 14 and that would have outscored Harry Kane and Romelu Lukaku combined. So there is some method to this madness.

Player of the week – Mesut Ozil – 17 points

January is approaching so it’s time for Ozil (and Sanchez) to start giving a shit. Since gameweek nine he has scored two and assisted five Arsenal goals. Yet, in that time he has been transferred OUT of more teams and has seen his value drop to £9.3 million. It’s still not all that cheap for a player so unpredictable and there is so much competition in the midfield, but with only a 1.8% (1.8%??!?!?!?!) ownership, having this guy in your team could work in your favour. Nobody else will be scoring those points

Bargain of the week – Ashley Young – 15 points

Watch this value rocket in the coming weeks. Young started the season as a £5 million midfielder and only made his first appearance in gameweek 5 coming in to plug the hole in United’s left back area. He’s been an ever present since that game and has been a stand-out performer in recent weeks. The last three have garnered two goals, two assists, six bonus points and 29 points overall. It’s tricky to second guess managers and who knows what’s going to happen as the December fixture pile-up kicks in, but he seems to have that position nailed at the moment. The potential is there for more, particularly when Jose opts to play with three at the back and pushes the wing backs further forward. It’s a shame we don’t get clean sheet points for his displays as well. He’d be an absolute must-have as a defender.

Twat of the week – Pablo Zabaleta – -1 points

Just when you thought Everton were the most massively under-achieving and overpaid wastes of money in the league – you’re reminded of West Ham. Zabaleta probably should have seen red after getting away with a worse challenge than the one that saw him pick up his yellow card. There is little sense in having a West Ham defender in your team.

Goal of the week – Jamie Vardy.

Probably ten contenders. But as I rather stubbornly and unforgiving think any footballer worth their salt should be able to kick the ball into an empty net from 60 yards (Rooney) or run with a ball unchallenged for 60 yards (Lingard), I’ll give it to the most skillful goal of the (Tuesday) night. Goal at 2 minutes in.