Gameweek 12 results

1  same But Da Pitch Ain’t 1
Trev Reams
60 792
2  same Perfidious Albion
Andrew Swift
59 773
3  same Neil Madrid
Neil Strong
59 772
4  up Thelma and Luiz
Trevor Gordon
67 737
5  same The Craggy Islanders
Adrian Roche
55 736
6  down Game of Stones
Ryan Garoghan
46 733
7  up FC Caligula
Ajay Supeda
65 732
8  down Edgbaston
Micheal Dinneen
56 727
9  down Cookie fc
Peter Cook
52 723
10  up Upper Bullens
Andy Taylor
48 712
11  down SLABHEAD FC
Adam Burnett
38 708
12  down Deeney in a Bottle
Stephanie Cripps
36 704
57 703
14  down King raggg
Steven Darling
55 702
15  same Bielsa Ringing
Alan Hardy
57 700
16  up Shoelace Untied
Caroline Strong
63 685
17  up FTM
Stu Smith
73 682
18  up Musttryharder fc
Paul Telford
62 676
19  up Need son luck
Matt Jarvis
55 676
20  down CAS Vampire Slayers
Mustafa khan
52 672
21  down Frostee Rucker
Paul Bentz
43 669
22  down Mour Salt and Pep
Noel Driver
48 667
23  down Your Ad Here
Matthew Hopkins
45 667
24  up Kompany & Co
62 660
25  up Nashton Villa
Jaime Nash
63 652
26  down Pretty Schitty City
Alex Michaluk
43 649
27  up Morningblues
Jeff Morning
66 645
28  up Hoose Reus
James Whitfield
58 643
29  same PenshawPerformers
david bruce
45 636
45 632
31  down romeoshondavan
Rob Hewer
43 631
32  up Aribo Haribo
Paul Hawkins
55 630
33  up Fake Madrid
Andrew Wade
56 629
34  down Pique Blinders
Colin Goulding
31 624
35  down The Big Lewandowski
Paul Callaghan
48 624
36  up Crazy Leg XI
David Caldicott
56 614
37  same Salah Buffoon!!!
Jitesh Lakhani
49 613
38  up Rip Roaring Reds
Sean Whyton
53 612
39  down El Loco No Joko
Paul Murray
48 611
40  up Dinamo Spinks
David Spinks
45 600
41  up Real Jorvik
Simon Brown
57 591
42  same ClipityKlopptotitle
tanya thursby
35 588
43  up Kebab Eaters Utd
Paul Howard
56 583
44  down Dropit like its Hart
Jason Earwicker
41 580
45  up Hemel Hotspurs
Paul Jarvis
51 568
46  same It’s coming home
scott mcgow
47 565
47  up Greeeenteeam
adam greenwood
47 563
48  up Puddle Splash Van
Ian Williams
53 554
49  same Atlético Chappers
Richard Chapman
29 535
50  up The Mindless Morons
John Seacroft
46 513

Manager of the week – FTM – Stu Smith – 73 points

FTM are the only team to tip the 70 point barrier this gameweek and in doing so they climb seven places and to within sight of the top 10. Many of the usual captain suspects did their bare minimum bagging a goal or a clean sheet to give a respectable double figure return with the armband – Mo Salah and Sergio Aguero among them. Salah was FTM’s highest scorer with 16. Felipe Anderson was perhaps the star differential, contributing 9 more points to his total, following a 13 point haul last week. The West Ham winger was transferred in by almost 140,000 teams worldwide ahead of their game against Huddersfield this weekend – a tactic worth considering. And that ownership may continue to rise given the favourable run of fixtures his team face from GW14 into the new year.

Player of the week – Juan Foyth – Tottenham Hotspur – 15 points

If you’re a defender and you score and keep a clean sheet you can be almost guaranteed the top bonus marks. Doesn’t matter how shit you play for the rest of the ninety minutes. I’m not sure I’d be rushing to get this guy in. He conceded two penalties last week and despite his 15 points, looked shaky and out of his depth. I’m pretty sure Spurs fans will be a lot happier when either Davinson Sanchez or Jan Vertonghen are back from their injuries. I’m not having him at £5 million either.

Bargain of the week – Salamon Rondon – Newcastle United – 12 points

Promises to be as inconsistent in black and white stripes as he was in blue and white stripes. Rondon has scored the first two of the eight or nine goals he’ll get this season. I predict his next brace will come sometime over Christmas before a four week lay off through injury.

Twat of the week – Dale Stephens – Brighton and Hove Albion – -2 points

Fully deserved twattage for not only out-dirtying, but also losing to a Warnock side.

Goal of the week – Ilkay Gundogan. 4,216,542,164 passes turning Manchester United inside out. Unfortunately I can only find a video with the last two.


Gameweek 11 preview

Bournemouth v Sunderland
Burnley v Crystal Palace
Man City v Middlesbrough
West Ham v Stoke
Chelsea v Everton
Arsenal v Spurs
Hull v Southampton
Liverpool v Watford
Swansea v Man Utd
Leicester v West Brom

I guess by now we’ve all realised how good Chelsea are at the back, playing this 3-4-3 system. But are we four games too late? There’s not really a cheap way into the Cheslea back line. Any squad surgery you’re thinking of carrying out will probably need to come at a cost, unless you’ve got money in the bank – or Antonio Valencia. Chelsea’s immediate run of fixtures may look hard, but you should definitely consider doing your Christmas shopping down the Kings Road.

From December the 11th, they take on West Brom, Sunderland, Palace, Bournemouth and Stoke in successive weeks. Now consider the possibility of them keeping their defensive form in two of the four games they face against Everton, Middlesbrough, Spurs and City until then. Maybe it’s worth investing in the defence now before those £6 million price tags become slightly less affordable £6.2’s and £6.3’s. 

Marcos Alonso, a defender starting as a midfielder, is a tempter. As is Victor Moses, who has cemented a place as a right wing back, contributing 21 points in the four game run and costing you only £5.5 million. He’s filling the role of an elite midfielder at a bargain price.

And then there’s Eden bloody Hazard. First he’s hot. Then he’s not. It’s difficult to trust him given the guff he produced last season. However, it’s three goals in the last three games plus an assist and three bonus points. Other managers fancy him – in the last week he’s dramatically jumped back up to £10 million from £9.8 million. Here’s a stat attack – at this point last season there had been 19 penalties awarded. So far this season there have been 33. Hazard takes penalties. Hazard’s problem is his price tag and the sheer amount of choice among the other elite teams. It would mean taking a punt on dropping a Liverpool, Arsenal or City midfielder. Walcott’s injury and Sterling’s dip in form might tempt you that way.

But why venture into a team with a tricky fixture run when you’ve got Ilkay Gundogan? Middlesbrough, Palace and Burnley await Manchester City, who silenced any doubters in the best way possible by beating Barcelona in midweek, thanks in no small part to Gundogan. WHO WILL COST YOU £5.5 MILLION. The only question mark is whether he’ll be occasionally rested, having come back from such a serious injury. That might happen – but four goals in two game must nail him a start on Saturday.

Gameweek 10 results

up Uriah Rennie 2nd XI
Neil Greenwood
94 585
up nO fucHs given
Paul Callaghan
79 568
down Neil Madrid
Neil Strong
54 566
68 563
down Aquamar 15
Noel Driver
62 555
up Kebab Eaters Utd
Paul Howard
82 551
up The Craggy Islanders
Adrian Roche
95 550
down When Harry met Alli
Trevor Gordon
75 545
same To Elland Back
Alan Hardy
71 539
10  same 4 Fuchs Ake
Jason Earwicker
72 535
11  up Rip Roaring Reds
Sean Whyton
78 534
12  up 30:19
Darren Lavelle
85 533
13  down Yeboah’s Right Foot
Paul Murray
71 531
14  down RICO UNITED
66 523
15  same Hedgehog Corpse FC
Nick Smith
73 518
16  up INIT FC
Mustafa khan
84 516
17  up Edgbaston
Micheal Dinneen
84 510
18  same Go Buffoons Go
Jitesh Lakhani
66 505
19  up Atlético Chappers
Richard Chapman
89 502
20  down Joey Bosa
Paul Bentz
29 500
21  down Biscuitmen
Chris Morton
55 497
22  up Cooksters
Peter Cook
81 495
23  down greenyteamy
adam greenwood
50 494
24  down Your Ad Here
Matthew Hopkins
71 494
25  up Jeff Lamp’s Porsche
David Spinks
82 487
26  down Release The Hounds
Paul Mitchell
61 484
27  up FC Caligula
Ajay Supeda
76 483
28  down Crazy Legs XI
David Caldicott
70 483
29  same Ciderheads
Darren Pope
76 481
30  down Golden Boys
Stephanie Cripps
62 480
31  up RG XV
Ryan Garoghan
72 470
32  same FTM
Stu Smith
72 470
33  up romeoshondavan
Rob Hewer
77 466
34  down Real Jorvik
Simon Brown
62 464
35  up Upper Bullens
Andy Taylor
79 460
36  up Hucking Fell
P Hawkins
74 456
37  up Racing Club Skegness
Andrew Swift
81 451
38  down Jarvis FC
Matt Jarvis
58 450
39  up Bakerlona
Stuart Baker
83 447
40  down Pretty Schitty City
Alex Michaluk
36 433
41  up Shoelace Untied
Caroline Strong
86 433
42  up Have a little dink
Ian Williams
73 425
43  same Bish Bosh Goal
Simon Purnell
59 424
44  down jetty city
scott mcgow
48 419
45  down Big White Chiefs
david frankland
43 413
46  up I am not Zlatan
Colin Goulding
62 407
47  up Pepe Le Blue
59 403
48  down Bermie Utd
Glen Davies
32 398
49  same DJ’s Trail Blazers
Danian Jones
54 391
50  same bazza 28 united
laura barrett
52 386
51  up Dj daz
darren frankland
56 368
52  down Jarv88
Paul Jarvis
33 353
53  same Pudding And Pie
John Seacroft
49 352


A disastrous week for Neil Madrid. They fell completely out of contention for the October manager of the month award and relinquished their lead at the top, scoring a comparatively low 54 points compared to the majority of their pace-setting rivals who finished the weekend posting scores in the 70’s, 80’s and 90’s.

Most notably, Uriah’s, who jumped from 5th to 1st with 94 points – a score that wins them the October manager of the month award.

up Uriah Rennie 2nd XI
Neil Greenwood
94 193
down Yeboah’s Right Foot
Paul Murray
71 191
up Cooksters
Peter Cook
81 186
up Racing Club Skegness
Andrew Swift
81 185
up Atlético Chappers
Richard Chapman
89 181


And The Craggy Islanders, who are the top scoring team of the week with 95 points – which is also the highest weekly score of the season so far.

Roughly one in forty of all the managers in the game dispensed of Sergio Aguero in the last fortnight. That suggests at least one of us did too. Most leading Buckets managers held on to him it seems, although not many were prepared to offer him the captain’s armband. Uriah’s did, and it was this decision that boosted their score more than any other. Add to that an almost complete set of clean sheets, two assists and two goals out of the midfield and another double figure score courtesy of Romelu Lukaku. Lukaku was the key to the Islanders’ success, collecting 24 points as captain, backed up by Aguero’s 16 point haul. Tom Heaton, who is established as the number one keeper in the game, Alexis Sanchez and the in-form number 10, Joe Allen, added double figure amounts.


Player of the week – Ilkay Gundogan – 18 points. One to watch – a regular starter now?

Bargain of the week – James McArthur – 15 points. Palace’s best performer by a mile.

Donkey of the week – Craig Dawson – -1 points. The pricier of those defenders on the receiving end of a four goal defeat.

Goal of the week – Sergio Aguero (his second goal). He’s finished.