Gameweek 25 results

1 Neil Madrid Neil Strong 44 1,389
2 NaboombuDirtyYellows Andrew Swift 46 1,374
3 Upper Bullens Andy Taylor 38 1,342
4 Pescara Rangers Stewart Pope 45 1,333
5 Ciderheads Darren Pope 58 1,326
6 Uriah Rennie 2nd XI Neil Greenwood 38 1,317
7 Hedgehog Corpse FC Nick Smith 47 1,315
8 * Your Ad Here * Matthew Hopkins 52 1,313
9 Shoelace Untied Caroline Strong 43 1,305
10 RayCrawfordsCrackers Rob Hewer 55 1,301
11 Gaalatcticos Colin Goulding 48 1,300
12 Bermie Utd Glen Davies 56 1,292
13 Paris Spinks Germain David Spinks 48 1,286
14 Pretty Schitty City Alex Michaluk 43 1,280
15 Van Damme United P Hawkins 59 1,260
16 Biscuitmen Chris Morton 35 1,256
17 Accrington Rudyard Ian Williams 51 1,233
18 Panza Grande XI Stuart Baker 46 1,229
19 The Mindless Morons John Seacroft 66 1,217
20 Who R U DEAN CRIPPS 60 1,212
21 Get to the choppa Mark Bromham 58 1,209
22 Rip Roaring Reds Sean Whyton 37 1,183
23 Real Jorvik FC Simon Brown 59 1,171
24 Luxembourg United Simon Smallbone 51 1,158
25 Sportingabiggerwig Alex Ritchie 29 1,149
26 No Recognized Plan Paul Bentz 34 1,148
27 Release The Hounds Paul Mitchell 27 1,105
28 Crazylegs XI David Caldicott 24 1,081
29 Jordie’s Giants Jordan Raper 31 897


We’ve a new name on the roll of honour as The Mindless Morons top the weekly scores. Remarkably, six of their fifteen players didn’t even take to the field of play, but the nine that did amassed 66 points. They were one of the few to plump for Harry Kane as captain. Presumably the majority of us still think that this crazy run of goals is going to come to an end at some point. Again, he wasn’t top scorer for the week, but did manage his third consecutive double figure total.

It was a relatively low scoring gameweek, epitomised possibly by the fact that Chris Smalling ended up as the highest scoring player. Smalling strode off the bench after five minutes to replace Phil Jones and score with his first touch. He then bundled in another with his 50p head just before half time.

Dame N’Doye is our bargain buy of the week. It’s the first gameweek in which we’ve had a chance to look at some of the newly transferred in players. N’Doye scored and assisted to beat Villa, and ultimately cost Paul Lambert his job. Hull have been in desperate need of a goal scorer, so maybe N’Doye is that player. Of the new batch, only Jermain Defoe betters N’Doye’s statistics, although he has had a few more games in which to get up and running. It’s worth noting that the new Sunderland striker has scored two in his first four with an average of five points per game so far.

Theo Walcott and Daniel Sturridge are back in starting line ups and in among the points. Both contributed well to Arsenal and Liverpool’s victories on Tuesday night. Sturridge has picked up 14 points in 130 odd minutes of football since his return. Walcott’s figures are 18 points in 208 minutes. Both are gradually upping their gametime match by match, and injuries and lack of form among team mates could guarantee them more starting berths in the coming weeks. Although Mario did score the other night. But that should be of no concern to anyone who is playing this game properly.


Player of the week – Chris Smalling – 17 points. Probably the only time this will ever happen.

Bargain of the week – Dame N’Doye – 12 points. Another member for the cheap effective striker club?

Donkey of the week – Gareth Barry – -1 point. Making his seasonal appearance.

Goal of the week – Bobby Zamora. I don’t think he scuffed it.




Gameweek 18 results

1 Pescara Rangers Stewart Pope 50 996
2 Hedgehog Corpse FC Nick Smith 55 980
3 Pimp My Side Jordan Raper 54 950
4 Les Canaris David Spinks 48 950
5 A Few Good Men Darren Pope 62 944
6 A Pint of Fuller’s P Hawkins 50 936
7 Uriah Rennie 2nd XI Neil Greenwood 35 933
8 (Your Ad Here) Matthew Hopkins 49 928
9 Shoelace Untied Caroline Strong 44 927
10 None Of The Above Jonny Mabbutt 51 901
11 Rip Roaring Reds Sean Whyton 49 899
12 Doing the 91 Colin Goulding 30 890
13 Body Issues FC Arron Fellows 36 885
14 Neil Madrid Neil Strong 57 883
15 Panza Grande XI Stuart Baker 57 876
16 Fancy a brouhaha? Ian Williams 30 868
17 Upper Bullens Scouse Mouse 59 854
18 Bermie Utd Glen Davies 31 848
19 Borussia HairBack Alex Ritchie 51 841
20 goodbutnosigurdsson Rob Hewer 60 840
21 Pretty Schitty City Alex Michaluk 32 829
22 Inter Ealing Paul Bentz 60 816
23 Moxie XI Luke O’Shea 46 809
24 Lothersdale FC Simon Rider 48 805
25 Release The Hounds 5 Paul Mitchell 42 801
26 Crazy Legs XI David Caldicott 53 797
27 Real Jorvik Simon Brown 66 796

Top scorers this week were our bottom team. Real Jorvik scored 66 points, yet still remain bottom of the table. All of Jorvik’s Chelsea players that have been hanging around since the early weeks finally came good. No fewer than 6 Chelsea players hit double figures. And every Chelsea player picked up either goal, assist, clean sheet or bonus marks. Time to move some Chelsea players back in perhaps? Time for the fans to stop singing the Di Matteo chant? David Luiz was employed in midfield. He scored and picked up some clean sheet marks. Could this be his new starting position for the rest of the season. It’s no surprise he’s been moved forward, given how gifted a footballer he is. He’s never struck me as being a defender. And he strikes as sweet a free kick as anyone in the league. See goal of the week. Cesar Azpilicueta is another Chelsea defender now worth considering. He’s started 8 of the last 9 games, bagged two assists, including one yesterday, and is priced at 5.6 million. Will there be a place in the team for John Terry when he returns from injury? Let’s hope not.

Chelsea players, however, don’t win our player of the week awards. Steven Gerrard is the highest scorer. Does anyone still have him? His first telling contribution of the season was a 17 point haul for a goal, clean sheet, assist and top bonus marks in Liverpool’s easy win against Fulham. Even Stewart Downing scored. That’s his first goal and first assist of the season. City were meant to annihilate Reading. They didn’t. And while we all sat with Tevez and/or Aguero has our captains, Gareth Barry went and scored their only goal in Mancini time. He’s your bargain.

  • Player of the week – Steven Gerrard – 17 points. A long while sonce he and Lampard scored in the same week.
  • Bargain of the week – Gareth Barry – 11 points. Probably your 11th choice City captain.
  • Donkey of the week – Matthew Lowton – -2 points. No surprises.

Goal of the week