Caligula played the free hit. Their closest challengers all went with the triple captain. Bullens will be cursing their luck the most, opting to put the armband on Raheem Sterling who returned absolutely nothing other than his appearance points for the one game he took part in. Calilgula also punted on Sterling – who didn’t? He wasn’t the only heavily backed double gameweeker who only made a single appearance. It was Aymeric Laporte, for the second consecutive Manchester City double gameweek, who impressed the most, and contributed the highest score to Caligula’s total.
Manager of the week – Sean Whyton – Rip Roaring Reds – 120 points
The Reds equaled the highest weekly gameweek score but only scored four goals from their bench-boosted squad. They needed to better the nine goals scored in the first double gameweek of the season by Shoelace to claim the highest score prize. Had they banged in nine they’d be outright leaders posting a potential 150 point weekly score.
Player of the week – Christian Eriksen – Tottenham Hotspur – 20 points
One of the few elite players to play both games and contribute in both, although Spurs assets weren’t all that heavily backed overall, certainly in comparison to those of City, United and Chelsea. Maybe that was to do with their tricky opening fixture against Liverpool. More was expected of United. City seemed happy to do the bare minimum and Chelsea, despite two victories, looked more convincing in their second fixture. Or was that just to do with the fact that Eden Hazard put in his monthly big performance?
Bargain of the week – Ruben Loftus-Cheek – Chelsea – 19 points
Hazard featured in most free hit squads. Punting on Ruben Loftus-Cheek would have earned you four more points for nearly £6 million less. Hazard was all set for the goal of the week nod until he was out-Hazarded by his younger team mate with the sumptuous curler that killed the game against Brighton.
Twat of the week – Ashley Young – Manchester United – -1 points
Indicative of Manchester United’s poor double gameweek return. No clean sheets was bad enough. Add to that only a single appearance by their most popular defensive pick, Victor Lindelof. Rashford and Martial impressed in the first game but neither started the second. Worst of all, Ashley Young received two quick yellows to end up on his minus score.
Still no team seems capable of catching Aquamar. They’ve been on the rise in the international game too, jumping to 2,602nd in the world. More often than not they’re outscoring most of the Buckets chasing pack, and always maintaining that lead, which currently stands at 80 points. That’s the highest it’s been. They’re chip-less and now wildcard-less – but has playing them early built up an unassailable lead?
Poor When Harry Met Alli, The Craggy Islanders, Biscuitmen, Hedgehog’s and Kebab Eaters have been staring at the back of Aquamar’s head for most of the season. They continue to score above average every week without making any real inroads, and now they’ve got the relentless rise of teams like Rico United and Joey Bosa coming up behind them to contend with. Rico and Joey were barely top 20 at the turn of the year, but now sit in 6th and 8th respectively. All of those in contention for a league prize, or with hopes of catching the leaders hold some kind of chip or have their remaining wildcard. With two (potentially three) more double gameweeks to cram into the final six, their could be more twists and turns.
Aquamar benefited from Palace’s surprise thumping of Arsenal last night. Mamadou Sakho was promoted from the bench to join Wilfried Zaha in their XI to add 17 points. Conversely, Jeff Lamp’s Porsche, despite outscoring everybody else and breaking the 100 point barrier, would have been hoping for a bit more from Alexis Sanchez. Before last night’s match they were sat on 98 points with hopes of catching the highest weekly score total. Only 2 points were added and it leaves most of us questioning Sanchez’s attitude and his worth (and that of the entire Arsenal squad) in these crunch closing weeks of the season.
However, you couldn’t have named a better player than Heung-Min Son as your captain this week, and that’s what JLP did. These are the kind of ballsy decisions that win you fantasy prizes, so lets see if they can follow that up with a challenge for the April Manager of the month award.
Player of the week – Heung-Min Son – 19 points. Can he hold onto his place now that Harry Kane is back?
Bargain of the week – Phil Jagielka – 12 points. Second successive double figure score.
Donkey of the week – Sebastian Larsson – -2 points. Never a sending off
Goal of the week – Dele Alli. Just needs to cut out those shit celebrations.
As well as easily being the best player pun team name in the league this year, The Kolarov Mane is also the highest scoring team of gameweek 32. Their 78 points sees them leap into 5th place overall, right back in the mix for the 3rd and 4th place prizes. With the double gameweeks on the horizon, teams as far down as 14th and maybe even further could still be in the mix for placing prizes.
Kolarov Mane played their second wildcard ahead of this week bringing in 11 new players and clearly tailoring their squad for the upcoming double headers. Hector Bellerin and Dimitri Payet were the most effective, both scoring double figure scores.
The Villa factor reaped it’s rewards again this week as a patched up Chelsea strolled to a 4-0 pummeling over the league’s bottom team. There were five Chelsea players among the weeks highest scorers with seven points or more – Pedro scoring higher than anyone. Amazingly, the captain of the title favourites and league leaders is still only worth £4.4 million pounds. Wes Morgan was the bargain buy of the week.
FC Caligula will play The Craggy Islanders in the Buckets Cup Final. Caligula kept up their quest for an unprecedented double with a skin of their teeth victory over Neil Madrid by 65-64. Both had almost identical squads with the difference being, arguably, the Christian Fuchs assist for Wes Morgan’s goal in Leicester’s victory over Southampton. The other semi was more clear cut. The Craggy Islanders saw off Upper Bullens with the third highest score of the week. Although their All Out Attack chip might feel a little wasted. The two defenders they played picked up more points than their three attackers, and they’d have picked up an extra point by simply sticking to a standard 3-4-3 or 3-5-2.
Player of the week – Pedro – 16 points. He was meant to do this a lot more often.
Bargain of the week – Wes Morgan – 15 points. And with this joins Fuchs and Huth in the top 10 defenders.
Donkey of the week – Alan Hutton – -3 points. Somehow the first Villa donkey of the season.
Goal of the week – Dimitri Payet. Stupid free kick looks like he took it with an Impossiball.
02 Apr 12:45 Aston Villa v Chelsea
02 Apr 15:00 Arsenal v Watford
02 Apr 15:00 Bournemouth v Man City
02 Apr 15:00 Norwich v Newcastle
02 Apr 15:00 Stoke v Swansea
02 Apr 15:00 Sunderland v West Brom
02 Apr 15:00 West Ham v Crystal Palace
02 Apr 17:30 Liverpool v Spurs
03 Apr 13:30 Leicester v Southampton
03 Apr 16:00 Man Utd v Everton
Our last remaining unscheduled fixture has been….scheduled. The Everton v Crystal Palace game cancelled to accommodate both teams’ appearance in the FA Cup semi final will now be played on April 13th. That’s in the next gameweek. Gameweeks 34, 35 and 37 were already a tactical minefield – now you’ve gameweek 33 to worry about.
Start planning now. The earlier you start, the more players you can get in. There’s no simple way of breaking it all down. Everton and Liverpool have the most games left to play. Everton play twice in GW33, GW34 and GW37. Liverpool play twice in GW34 and GW37, but also play in the reduced GW35, whereas Everton don’t.
There are a host of teams on 30 games played who feature twice in at least one double gameweek. If they feature in both, it’s likely they don’t feature in the reduced gameweek. All those on 31 games don’t play twice in any gameweek, but do all play in the reduced gameweek. Two of whom are Leicester and Spurs. How many of their players dare you kick in to touch to make way for double gameweekers?
Use of this gameweek and gameweek 36 could be key. Those without wildcards might want to leave these gameweeks free to build up their available free transfers. And those with wildcards just need to figure out the best time to play them.
This seasons winners of the Buckets Cup are….Who R U. The league newcomers overcame Hedgehog Corpse in the final by 50 points to 44. Hedgehog scored three goals to Who R U’s one, but kept less clean sheets, made less assists and picked up less bonus points. Congratulations Who RU.
Manager of the week is Crazylegs. Another surprise seeing as how they gave up playing in week two. They and Van Damme United both collected 78 points – far and away the best scores of the week – but Crazylegs scored three goals to Van Damme’s two, and so claim the award.
Nothing much changed at the top. The top four all scored within seven points of each other, and around the average weekly score of 46 points. A couple of chasing teams scored well and both RayCrawfordsCrackers and *Your Ad Here* pulled themselves back into contention for a top four place. With a blank and a double gameweek to come before the end of April there is more than enough opportunity to catch the leading pack. Pescara won the last double gameweek with a 60 point swing on those scoring the average for the week, so even those teams in the high 1600’s should still consider themselves in with a chance.
Last week Christian Benteke equalled Dusan Tadic’s highest weekly individual score of 23 points. This week Yannick Bolasie beat it. Bolasie picked up all three bonus points for scoring three and assisting the other of Palace’s four against Sunderland. Glen Murray, who scored the fourth, is in even better form. That was his sixth in seven games and his third consecutive double figure total. He’s just pipped to the bargain buy of the week by Ashley Young, whose value of £4.9 million seems staggeringly low for that of a (now) regular attacking starter in a top three team. His reputation obviously still goes before him, as does that of Angel Di Maria who he’s keeping out of the team. Ten times more managers own Young than Di Maria.
Player of the week – Yannick Bolasie – 24 points. Can he hold onto the points record with two double gameweeks to come.
Bargain of the week – Ashley Young – 14 points. None of United’s starting midfielders will cost you more than £8.5 million and all are scoring well.
Donkey of the week – Vincent Kompany – -1 points. Probably long overdue for his well below par season.
Goal of the week – Aaron Cresswell. Banging free kick. Shocking video.