Gameweek 14 and November Manager of the Month

1  same Neil Madrid
Neil Strong
63 898
2  same But Da Pitch Ain’t 1
Trev Reams
65 895
3  same Perfidious Albion
Andrew Swift
48 869
4  same The Craggy Islanders
Adrian Roche
61 862
5  up Thelma and Luiz
Trevor Gordon
63 830
6  up Edgbaston
Micheal Dinneen
65 826
7  down Game of Stones
Ryan Garoghan
45 824
Adam Burnett
62 823
9  down Cookie fc
Peter Cook
52 821
10  down Upper Bullens
Andy Taylor
48 821
11  down FC Caligula
Ajay Supeda
53 819
12  same Deeney in a Bottle
Stephanie Cripps
54 812
13  up FTM
Stu Smith
76 807
14  down Bielsa Ringing
Alan Hardy
51 802
15  same King raggg
Steven Darling
57 798
16  up Frostee Rucker
Paul Bentz
63 790
17  up Your Ad Here
Matthew Hopkins
52 790
18  down Shoelace Untied
Caroline Strong
55 787
19  down Need son luck
Matt Jarvis
51 785
20  down RICO UNITED
34 782
21  up INIT FC
Mustafa khan
65 782
22  down Pretty Schitty City
Alex Michaluk
56 776
23  down Musttryharder fc
Paul Telford
53 773
24  up Hoose Reus
James Whitfield
73 761
25  same Nashton Villa
Jaime Nash
49 754
26  up Mour Salt and Pep
Noel Driver
54 753
27  down Kompany & Co
44 752
28  down Morningblues
Jeff Morning
30 733
29  down Crazy Leg XI
David Caldicott
44 732
30  up Pique Blinders
Colin Goulding
59 730
31  same romeoshondavan
Rob Hewer
50 730
56 729
33  down Aribo Haribo
Paul Hawkins
45 726
34  up PenshawPerformers
david bruce
59 724
35  same Rip Roaring Reds
Sean Whyton
55 719
36  up Fake Madrid
Andrew Wade
53 715
37  down The Big Lewandowski
Paul Callaghan
39 711
38  up Salah Buffoon!!!
Jitesh Lakhani
54 708
39  down Dinamo Spinks
David Spinks
46 703
40  same Dropit like its Hart
Jason Earwicker
47 699
41  same Real Jorvik
Simon Brown
43 689
42  up ClipityKlopptotitle
tanya thursby
58 688
43  down El Loco No Joko
Paul Murray
46 680
44  same Kebab Eaters Utd
Paul Howard
42 670
45  same Hemel Hotspurs
Paul Jarvis
51 664
46  up Greeeenteeam
adam greenwood
47 650
47  down Puddle Splash Van
Ian Williams
46 648
48  down It’s coming home
scott mcgow
50 642
49  same Atlético Chappers
Richard Chapman
56 617
50  up Ross’s champions
darren frankland
71 594
51  down The Mindless Morons
John Seacroft
46 590


November Manager of the month – Neil Madrid – Neil Strong – 272 points

Madrid were in fourth at the start of the month, 60 or so points adrift of the top. They now occupy the number one position, having clawed back that gap to take the prize for November. Swapping and off-the-boil Hazard for Raheem Sterling at the point the City man went fantasy nuts was surely the key. Madrid have posted five consecutive green arrow scores that has seen them rise from 196,000 to 13,000 overall. Check me out.

1  same Neil Madrid
Neil Strong
63 272
2  same The Craggy Islanders
Adrian Roche
61 263
3  up FTM
Stu Smith
76 256
4  same Your Ad Here
Matthew Hopkins
52 242
5  down Shoelace Untied
Caroline Strong
55 240


Manager of the week – FTM – Stu Smith – 76 points

FTM’s second week winning score in three wasn’t quite enough to push them to the summit of the monthly table, being let down arguably by their GW13 score. Nevertheless, they have climbed from 22nd to the outskirts of the top 10 and look set to push on through December. FTM are loving West Ham right now. Ahead of their favourable run of fixtures they picked up 15 points from Marko Arnautovic and Felipe Anderson. As with many teams, Sterling became default captain through Aguero’s absence, and a five man defence, also popular this week, propspered to he tune of 35 points. Only Jose Holebas failed to deliver a clean sheet.

Player of the week – Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang – Arsenal – 16 points

Maybe game of the season. Maybe the best Arsenal have played in a decade. And as Raheem Sterling became the first player to pass the 100 point barrier, PEA hit his 9th and 10th goals of the season to move within nine points of the same target. Aubameyang comes into serious contention now, particularly with an injury to Sergio Aguero, Liverpool relying on Divock Origi, inevitable City rotation, and no-one quite sure whether Harry Kane is paying well or not. Spurs’ run of fixtures into February could result in a period of heavy scoring for the England captain. Arsenal’s, on paper, don’t look as easy, but their star striker looks capable of scoring past anyone at any time. His overall Premier League record is 20 goals in 27 appearances. With 23 matches of the season remaining, there’s a strong possibility he’ll get close to the 30 goal mark. Why would you want to miss out on all that?

Bargain of the week – Javier Hernandez – West Ham United – 13 points

Somewhat of an unexpected result, but one that should alert fantasy bosses to the potential value of one or two West Ham assets in their team. Hernandez may not start every week however, so maybe steering towards Arnautovic or Anderson would reap more rewards. West Ham don’t play a top six team again until GW22.

Twat of the week – Jan Vertonghen – Tottenham Hotspur – -3 points

The game started boiling over in the first half so there was a certain inevitability about a red card being dished out at some point. Vertonghen conceded the penalty and looked rattled throughout until he finally lost it after Arsenal had bagged their 4th goal. Despite the aforementioned fixture swing in favour of Spurs, I wouldn’t go anywhere near any of these defenders.

Goal of the week – Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang. 1m14s in. This game had it all.


Gameweek 14 results – November manager of the month

1  same Hornets
Andrew Wade
46 837
2  same Fun Lovren Criminals
Paul Callaghan
43 808
3  up Gotta Light?
Andrew Swift
60 805
4  up greenyteamy
adam greenwood
63 800
5  down Despicable Mee
Trevor Gordon
55 799
6  same Kompany & Co
63 789
7  same Brexiter City
Colin Goulding
65 779
8  up Edgbaston
Micheal Dinneen
57 772
9  down The Vinegar Pissers
P Hawkins
44 761
10  up Crazylegs XI
David Caldicott
61 760
11  up The Craggy Islanders
Adrian Roche
52 758
12  up Atlético Chappers
Richard Chapman
67 756
13  up Nashton Villa
Jaime Nash
55 753
14  down INIT FC
Mustafa khan
39 752
15  down Rip Roaring Reds
Sean Whyton
47 748
16  down The winnings R mine
david bruce
53 742
17  down Neil Madrid
Neil Strong
45 740
18  down It’sOnlyAGameFarke!
David Spinks
38 727
19  up musttryharder FC
Paul Telford
65 725
20  down King Dunlap
Paul Bentz
50 724
21  up FC Caligula
Ajay Supeda
52 714
22  down Queen of the north
39 712
23  down Golden Boys
Stephanie Cripps
40 711
24  up Game of Throw-Ins
Ryan Garoghan
55 711
25  down Jarv88
Paul Jarvis
46 710
26  up Klopp of the Pochs
Jason Earwicker
55 709
27  down Rico united
44 709
28  down Flying squad
Matt Jarvis
58 707
29  up romeoshondavan
Rob Hewer
54 703
30  down Aquamar 1564
Noel Driver
43 700
31  same Your Ad Here
Matthew Hopkins
48 697
32  down Pretty Schitty City
Alex Michaluk
42 696
33  up Real Jorvik
Simon Brown
60 695
34  up Upper Bullens
Andy Taylor
58 695
35  up Bakerlona FC
Stuart Baker
64 692
36  down Pure Buffoonery!
Jitesh Lakhani
48 692
37  down We are Ayling
Paul Murray
42 684
38  down cookster fc
Peter Cook
35 680
39  up Kebab Eaters Utd
Paul Howard
61 677
40  down mrs mcgoo
laura barrett
42 676
41  down To Elland Back
Alan Hardy
38 672
42  down FTM
Stu Smith
30 658
43  up Shoelace Untied
Caroline Strong
43 657
44  up Emergency Gap Jumper
Ian Williams
59 657
45  down Release The Hounds
Paul Mitchell
27 653
46  up Pudding And Pie
John Seacroft
36 628
47  down iamgroot
scott mcgow
37 626
48  same blakes11
Steven Darling
43 616
49  same disco dancer
darren frankland
56 597
50  same Biscuitmen
Chris Morton
44 522


November manager of the month – Greenyteamy – Adam Greenwood – 283 points

Greenyteamy’s monster scores in the first two weeks of the month put them so far out in front it was difficult to see how anyone could catch them. Despite a slight slip up last week, another impressive score this week – only four behind the week’s best – made sure of their monthly victory. Their four week run has seem them leap from twenty-fourth to fourth and into that pack chasing down the Hornets, who still hold a 31 point lead at the top.

Manager of the week – Atletico Chappers – Richard Chapman – 67 points

Up into 12th and finishing 3rd in the November table Chappers have also made great strides in the last few weeks climbing from 37th at the end of October. They’ve tried out, and I suppose, been kind of successful, with a rotation of Watford captains for the last four weeks. Either Richarlison or Abdoulaye Doucoure are handed the armband and between them have picked up 4, 12, 6 and 6 points. There have been better options as captain, particularly with Mohamed Salah, Jamie Vardy and Marcos Alonso as ever presents. But had Chappers picked the best scoring of their Watford players each week, they’d have notched scores of 14, 12, 16 and 14 and that would have outscored Harry Kane and Romelu Lukaku combined. So there is some method to this madness.

Player of the week – Mesut Ozil – 17 points

January is approaching so it’s time for Ozil (and Sanchez) to start giving a shit. Since gameweek nine he has scored two and assisted five Arsenal goals. Yet, in that time he has been transferred OUT of more teams and has seen his value drop to £9.3 million. It’s still not all that cheap for a player so unpredictable and there is so much competition in the midfield, but with only a 1.8% (1.8%??!?!?!?!) ownership, having this guy in your team could work in your favour. Nobody else will be scoring those points

Bargain of the week – Ashley Young – 15 points

Watch this value rocket in the coming weeks. Young started the season as a £5 million midfielder and only made his first appearance in gameweek 5 coming in to plug the hole in United’s left back area. He’s been an ever present since that game and has been a stand-out performer in recent weeks. The last three have garnered two goals, two assists, six bonus points and 29 points overall. It’s tricky to second guess managers and who knows what’s going to happen as the December fixture pile-up kicks in, but he seems to have that position nailed at the moment. The potential is there for more, particularly when Jose opts to play with three at the back and pushes the wing backs further forward. It’s a shame we don’t get clean sheet points for his displays as well. He’d be an absolute must-have as a defender.

Twat of the week – Pablo Zabaleta – -1 points

Just when you thought Everton were the most massively under-achieving and overpaid wastes of money in the league – you’re reminded of West Ham. Zabaleta probably should have seen red after getting away with a worse challenge than the one that saw him pick up his yellow card. There is little sense in having a West Ham defender in your team.

Goal of the week – Jamie Vardy.

Probably ten contenders. But as I rather stubbornly and unforgiving think any footballer worth their salt should be able to kick the ball into an empty net from 60 yards (Rooney) or run with a ball unchallenged for 60 yards (Lingard), I’ll give it to the most skillful goal of the (Tuesday) night. Goal at 2 minutes in.

Gameweek 14 results

I haven’t got time to write much of an update today other than….


I daren’t even look
I will tidy this up when I’ve stopped crying


up The Craggy Islanders
Adrian Roche
104 802
74 787
up Aquamar 15
Noel Driver
92 775
up When Harry met Alli
Trevor Gordon
87 772
up Hedgehog Corpse FC
Nick Smith
85 771
up 4 Fuchs Ake
Jason Earwicker
85 769
up Biscuitmen
Chris Morton
102 766
down Kebab Eaters Utd
Paul Howard
76 762
down Yeboah’s Right Foot
Paul Murray
62 756
10  up Edgbaston
Micheal Dinneen
86 747
11  up Rip Roaring Reds
Sean Whyton
82 742
12  down Uriah Rennie 2nd XI
Neil Greenwood
14 741
13  down 30:19
Darren Lavelle
66 740
14  down Neil Madrid
Neil Strong
47 738
15  up Atlético Chappers
Richard Chapman
78 721
16  same To Elland Back
Alan Hardy
63 720
17  down nO fucHs given
Paul Callaghan
30 719
18  same INIT FC
Mustafa khan
74 718
19  up Go Buffoons Go
Jitesh Lakhani
76 715
20  down greenyteamy
adam greenwood
43 709
21  up Your Ad Here
Matthew Hopkins
81 709
22  up Jeff Lamp’s Porsche
David Spinks
80 705
23  down Joey Bosa
Paul Bentz
56 701
24  same Cooksters
Peter Cook
61 697
25  down RICO UNITED
52 695
26  down Crazy Legs XI
David Caldicott
45 680
27  up Hucking Fell
P Hawkins
72 680
28  down Ciderheads
Darren Pope
36 678
29  up RG XV
Ryan Garoghan
87 677
30  down Golden Boys
Stephanie Cripps
45 675
31  same romeoshondavan
Rob Hewer
62 673
32  down FTM
Stu Smith
44 671
33  up Jarvis FC
Matt Jarvis
76 669
34  same FC Caligula
Ajay Supeda
61 667
35  down Release The Hounds
Paul Mitchell
34 660
36  up Upper Bullens
Andy Taylor
77 653
37  down Real Jorvik
Simon Brown
49 648
38  same Have a little dink
Ian Williams
64 645
39  up Shoelace Untied
Caroline Strong
77 643
40  up I am not Zlatan
Colin Goulding
84 638
41  down jetty city
scott mcgow
52 631
42  down Racing Club Skegness
Andrew Swift
15 627
43  same Pretty Schitty City
Alex Michaluk
54 626
44  same Pepe Le Blue
55 626
45  same Big White Chiefs
david frankland
49 618
46  down Bakerlona
Stuart Baker
25 598
47  up Bermie Utd
Glen Davies
64 584
48  up bazza 28 united
laura barrett
81 571
49  down DJ’s Trail Blazers
Danian Jones
35 570
50  up Jarv88
Paul Jarvis
65 546
51  down Bish Bosh Goal
Simon Purnell
37 543
52  down Pudding And Pie
John Seacroft
48 543
53  same Dj daz
darren frankland
62 519


There it is. Well done smug Sanchez captain people. Craggy Islanders 104 points blah blah blah. Highest score of the season. Might be a pivotal week this. Mad scramble on now. Goodbye Sergio.


Player of the week – Alexis Sanchez – 23 points. Highest bloody score this season, first bloody player past 100 points and first bloody player to win player of the bloody week twice, the twat.

Bargain of the week – Ryan Fraser – 15 points. No idea who he is. Don’t care.

Donkey of the week – Sergio Aguero – -1 points. Twat.

Goal of the week – Heung Min Son Min Heung Son Min. Whatever.

Gameweek 14 preview

Man City v Chelsea
Crystal Palace v Southampton
Spurs v Swansea
Stoke v Burnley
Sunderland v Leicester
West Brom v Watford
West Ham v Arsenal
Bournemouth v Liverpool
Everton v Man Utd
Middlesbrough v Hull

December is upon us. A six week slog culminating in the festive fixtures. You get £60 if you finish as manager of the month. Eyes down.

Whereas Chelsea’s lack of European action seems to be working out just fine – an unchanged first XI for seven consecutive games is a fantasy manager’s dream – the same can’t be said for Liverpool, who despite also being free from foreign travel, are seeing their much vaunted attacking options dropping like flies.

Biggest headache of the week is dealing with the Coutinho injury. The most popular player in the game before last Saturday’s fixture against Sunderland – his value has plummeted by £0.3 million in the space of a few days. Managers were so quick to get rid of him even before the length of the lay-off was announced. Those waiting till the end of the week to make their change might not be able to bring in their desired replacements as a result of the drastic price drop.

As well as the injury to Coutinho, Roberto Firmino also picked up a knock. Daniel Sturridge is out again and there’s no sign of a return for Adam Lallana, although both he and Firmino are tentatively pencilled in for the Bournemouth match. Klopp might have to play some actual defenders and attackers. Divock Origi is in with a shout having scored in both the victory over Sunderland and the League Cup win in midweek. And Emre Can offers a dirt cheap way into the midfield at £4.8 million. He’s started the last six league matches anyway and scored two goals in that period.

Chelsea conceded their first goal in seven against Spurs last weekend and now they come up against a Manchester City side who have only failed to score once this season. Chelsea will undoubtedly name that same trusted starting XI, but Guardiola has been teasing us with some unpredictable line ups of late. Last week Kevin De Bruyne and David Silva started on the bench – Ilkay Gundogan and John Stones didn’t even make it that far. For arguably their toughest game of the season to date, he’s got to name his strongest XI. Shame no-one seems to know what that is.

Away from the top three, who in truth don’t offer much captain material this weekend, Spurs’ home tie against Swansea is definitely worth looking at. There are plenty of armband options and potential Coutinho replacements. With a bit of tinkering, Harry Kane leads the list. His post injury form isn’t bettered by many and Swansea’s defence are the cheapest for a very good reason. If Palace can score four aganst this lot…

Gameweek 14 results

1 Golden Boys Stephanie Cripps 70 786
2 FC Caligula Ajay Supeda 58 752
3 Your Ad Here Matthew Hopkins 58 734
4 4 Lime Jellies Ian Williams 68 733
5 Pretty Schitty City Alex Michaluk 42 731
6 The Kolarov Mané Trevor Gordon 60 730
7 Bicuitmen Chris Morton 52 721
8 Game of Throw ins Darren Lavelle 57 721
9 scotty2hotty scott mcgow 55 719
10 Edgbaston Micheal Dinneen 65 718
11 greensmeansbusiness adam greenwood 49 715
12 Hedgehog Corpse FC Nick Smith 63 712
13 Below Par Paul Bentz 58 711
14 Init fc Mustafa khan 77 711
15 Rocky Ba Bauer P Hawkins 51 710
16 Shoelace Untied Caroline Strong 65 707
17 SS3 FC Paul Murray 90 702
18 Howayman Mark Bromham 74 695
19 Gaalacticos Colin Goulding 74 695
20 Romeo’s Honda Van Rob Hewer 62 693
21 Sergio Five O DEAN CRIPPS 70 691
22 Atlético Chappers Richard Chapman 48 687
23 Grievous AngelRangel Andrew Swift 74 684
24 The Craggy Islanders Adrian Roche 52 684
25 JonniestaRedmondinho David Spinks 51 671
26 Rip Roaring Reds Sean Whyton 48 671
27 Bermie Utd Glen Davies 64 670
28 Walking with Memphis Noel Driver 31 669
29 Go Buffoons Go!!! Jitesh Lakhani 66 650
30 Neil Madrid Neil Strong 61 641
31 Uriah Rennie 2nd XI Neil Greenwood 72 640
32 Release The Hounds Paul Mitchell 70 634
33 The Mindless Morons John Seacroft 74 631
34 Panza Grande XI Stuart Baker 42 628
35 Crazy Legs XI David Caldicott 52 624
37 Upper Bullens Andy Taylor 62 618
38 The Hardy Boys Alan Hardy 50 610
39 Ciderheads Darren Pope 52 603
40 Baker Bum Boys Lewis Baker 52 594
41 Sweet Cherry Pie Jason Earwicker 47 591
42 Bish Bosh Goal Simon Purnell 41 569
43 REAL JORVIK Simon Brown 30 528
44 BrussiaHairbach Alex Ritchie 47 485


SS3 FC score 90 points and are the team of the week. They’re the first to win two weekly awards this season, and in doing so have climbed to their highest league position of 17th. Employing Kevin de Bruyne as captain was a smart move. The Belgian playmaker was the player of the week, and so added 32 points towards SS3’s total. They also earned 13 points from last weeks player of the week, Ross Barkley, and 12 from Odion Ighalo, this weeks highest scoring striker. Add to that the inevitable contribution from Jamie Vardy – 9 points this week – and that’s 66 points from just four players.

It was a close run thing for manager of the month. Shoelace had been leading the monthly table for the last couple of weeks and were doing so on Saturday night. But they only managed to add a further three points on Sunday and that wasn’t enough to hold off the challenge of The Mindless Morons, who added 17 further points to their Saturday total. Mesut Ozil scored 10 of those 17, meaning he has now scored in 10 of the 14 gameweeks – a record that’s only bettered by Vardy. The other seven points, crucially, came from a substitution. Adam Smith was promoted to the team to replace Vincent Kompany. The Bournemouth defender has scored no more than a point per performance and has mainly been warming the Morons’ bench since week one…until he launched a sweetly struck 25 yard volley into the roof of Tim Howard’s net this weekend. The Mindless Morons win November. They were second bottom at the end of October. Their recent form has seen them climb ten places and 100 points ahead of the current second bottom side.

1 The Mindless Morons John Seacroft 74 198
2 Shoelace Untied Caroline Strong 65 192
3 Howayman Mark Bromham 74 187
4 Grievous AngelRangel Andrew Swift 74 183
5 SS3 FC Paul Murray 90 183
6 Golden Boys Stephanie Cripps 70 182
7 scotty2hotty scott mcgow 55 181


At the top of the table Golden Boys extend their lead to 34 points. That’s the biggest gap between first and second so far this season. This week they scored 70 points using only 10 players. It was 12 more than their two closest challengers, Caligula and Your Ad Here. Pretty Schitty City dropped a couple of places down to fifth to complete a disappointing month. PSC were a point behind Golden Boys at the end of October – they’re now 55 behind. 4 Lime Jellies ended their recent disappointing run by climbing back up to fourth with a respectable 68 point haul.


Player of the week – Kevin de Bruyne – 16 points. Good City showed up this week.

Bargain of the week – Patrick Van Aanholt – 15 points. Two consecutive clean sheets for Sunderland. Time to consider the Allardyce factor?

Donkey of the week – Ryan Shawcross – -3 points. Ruined Stoke’s run of clean sheets, although it was a harsh red card.

Goal of the week – Jamie Vardy.