Gameweek 6 results

1 Upper Bullens Scouse Mouse 58 348
2 Rip Roaring Reds Sean Whyton 46 336
3 Crazylegs Xi David Caldicott 67 334
4 {Your Ad Here} Matthew Hopkins 66 334
5 Sportingoffensivewig Alex Ritchie 51 331
6 The Magico Rob Buttaci 58 328
7 Shakin’ Stephens P Hawkins 69 326
8 Romeo’s-honda-van Rob Hewer 62 324
9 Neil Madrid Neil Strong 67 316
10 Uriah Rennie 2nd XI Neil Greenwood 71 314
11 Hedgehog Corpse FC Nick Smith 63 313
12 Ciderheads Darren Pope 44 311
13 Real Jorvik Simon Brown 46 304
14 pretty Schitty City Alex Michaluk 58 304
15 Bermie Utd Glen Davies 33 301
16 Panza Grande XI Stuart Baker 55 299
17 The Mindless Morons John Seacroft 25 298
18 Release the Hounds Paul Mitchell 67 298
19 Kedah FA David Spinks 40 296
20 Shoelace Untied Caroline Strong 42 282
21 Mid-Season Blip Paul Bentz 36 278
22 NaboombuDirtyYellows Andrew Swift 55 271
23 Have a little dink Ian Williams 46 270
24 Rien Toulouse Colin Goulding 52 266
25 Inter Minan Jordan Raper 35 251
26 Biscuitmen Chris Morton 24 244

Uriah Rennie win the manager of the week award with a healthy 71 points. They were one of the few Buckets managers to take a punt on this week’s top scorer, Romelu Lukaku. Mindful of the fact Everton were up against the dodgiest defence in Eng…nay, Euro…., actually WORLD football, Jose Mourinho’s best striker was a calculated and clever risk to take. And he was brought in at the expense of the partially injured Robin Van Persie, who is probably as droppable now as he ever has been. Especially taking into consideration the form of so many other strikers in the game – Wayne Rooney included. Suarez is back and marked his first appearance of the season with 13 points. His value did drop my a tenth of a million, but is back up to his starting price of 11 million again. Watch that rise markedly over the next week. Danny Sturridge bagged another 14 points and Olivier Giroud improved his total by another 5 points.

The September Manager of the month was won at a canter by our outright leader, Upper Bullens. Bullens had the month tied up even before Sunday’s games. The top 8 looked like this…

1 Upper Bullens Scouse Mouse 58 348
2 Rip Roaring Reds Sean Whyton 46 336
3 Crazylegs Xi David Caldicott 67 334
4 {Your Ad Here} Matthew Hopkins 66 334
5 Sportingoffensivewig Alex Ritchie 51 331
6 The Magico Rob Buttaci 58 328
7 Shakin’ Stephens P Hawkins 69 326
8 Romeo’s-honda-van Rob Hewer 62 324

 

Player of the week – Romelu Lukaku – 16 points. What were Chelsea thinking?

Bargain of the week – Leandro Bacuna – 12 points. Scorer of one of the many contenders for goal of the week.

Donkey of the week – Fernando Torres – -1 point. What were Chelsea thinking?

Goal of the week – Bryan Ruiz. His yearly contender. Tough choice this week. Honorable mentions to Bacuna, both West Brom goals, Yohan Cabaye, Rickie Lambert and Jordan Mutch.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=azc8nXnnFfo

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Gameweek 2 results

1 Crazylegs Xi David Caldicott 52 140
2 The Magico Rob Buttaci 54 140
3 The Mindless Morons John Seacroft 47 139
4 Hedgehog Corpse FC Nick Smith 57 131
5 Uriah Rennie 2nd XI Neil Greenwood 40 131
6 Bermie Utd Glen Davies 41 128
7 {Your Ad Here} Matthew Hopkins 46 126
8 NaboombuDirtyYellows Andrew Swift 55 122
9 Panza Grande XI Stuart Baker 51 121
10 Neil Madrid Neil Strong 28 121
11 Shoelace Untied Caroline Strong 42 118
12 Sportingoffensivewig Alex Ritchie 55 117
13 Rip Roaring Reds Sean Whyton 47 116
14 Shakin’ Stephens P Hawkins 46 114
15 Release the Hounds Paul Mitchell 54 111
16 pretty Schitty City Alex Michaluk 47 111
17 Upper Bullens Scouse Mouse 42 105
18 Real Jorvik Simon Brown 54 102
19 Have a little dink Ian Williams 40 102
20 Kedah FA David Spinks 32 100
21 Inter Minan Jordan Raper 43 99
22 Mid-Season Blip Paul Bentz 39 99
22 Biscuitmen Chris Morton 43 99
24 Ciderheads Darren Pope 45 97
25 Romeo’s-honda-van Rob Hewer 32 85
26 Rien Toulouse Colin Goulding 34 74

I can’t have been the only one to have taken a punt on Manchester City’s defence this week. What made the 3-2 defeat at the hands of Cardiff harder to take was the dispensing of Jose Enrique from my defence to accommodate Pablo Zabaleta. That’s Jose Enrique who kept a clean sheet and assisted Liverpool’s winning goal against Villa. I brought in Joleon Lescott too – for Ashley Cole. A much more sensible substitution given Chelsea’s fallow week next week and their match against United in this. That’s Ashley Cole who kept a clean sheet and picked up two bonus points. Brilliant.

The average weekly score was a relatively low 45 points. Probably something to do with there being only 16 goals scored, and three 0-0 draws on the scorecard. So the bulk of managers scores came from their defensive players. Hedgehog Corpse won the gameweek with 57 points. 27 of those points came from their three man defence and goalkeeper. It’s a score that’s lifted them from 10th to 4th, and in with a good chance of the first manager of the month award. Any of the top 15 or so teams has a chance of the award, with Crazylegs and The Magico in pole position with 140 points each.

The Magico managed 54 points, 30 of which came from their defence – 16 of those from their captain choice. It’s rare you see a defender picked as captain, and extra satisfying when it pays dividends. Kolo Toure managed 16 points for The Magico. Liverpool haven’t conceded yet. Neither have West Ham. Across those two defences only Simon Mignolet’s price has risen. West Ham don’t face a potential top 6 side till early October when they travel to Spurs. Juusi Jaaskelainen did finish as one of the joint second best keepers in the game last season and Sam Allardyce loves a clean sheet. But then, I should probably give up on making clean sheet predictions.

City’s defensive frailties – being forced to play Javi Garcia out of position with Kompany and Nastasic injured – played into Cardiff’s, and most notably, Frazer Campbell’s hands. The 5.5 million striker ended up as the weeks best player with his double. And this week highlighted the potential amongst some of the new boys. Hull bagged their first win and clean sheet. Robbie Brady scored from the penalty spot. His usefulness from set plays could see his price rise in the coming weeks.

Player of the week – Frazer Campbell – 16 points. Two good headed goals.

Bargain of the week – Jose Fonte – 11 points. A last minute equalizer and top bonus marks.

Donkey of the week – Fernando Torres – 0 points. Jose doesn’t like any of his forwards. Half an hour on the pitch, booked and 0.2 million less than his starting price already.

Goal of the week – Daniel Sturridge. Not much to choose form, but this was neatly taken.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LekFaWdOwOU

Gameweek 16 results and Gameweek 17 preview

1 Pescara Rangers Stewart Pope 84 897
2 Les Canaris David Spinks 55 869
3 Hedgehog Corpse FC Nick Smith 53 859
4 A Few Good Men Darren Pope 72 851
5 Pimp My Side Jordan Raper 61 846
6 A Pint of Fuller’s P Hawkins 61 842
7 Shoelace Untied Caroline Strong 68 832
8 Uriah Rennie 2nd XI Neil Greenwood 52 819
9 (Your Ad Here) Matthew Hopkins 60 806
10 None Of The Above Jonny Mabbutt 66 800
11 Body Issues FC Arron Fellows 53 796
12 Fancy a brouhaha? Ian Williams 72 793
13 Doing the 91 Colin Goulding 58 793
14 Neil Madrid Neil Strong 79 790
15 Rip Roaring Reds Sean Whyton 51 789
16 Panza Grande XI Stuart Baker 54 785
17 Bermie Utd Glen Davies 51 784
18 Upper Bullens Scouse Mouse 50 779
19 Moxie XI Luke O’Shea 29 742
20 Borussia HairBack Alex Ritchie 51 736
21 goodbutnosigurdsson Rob Hewer 60 735
22 Crazy Legs XI David Caldicott 51 732
22 Release The Hounds 5 Paul Mitchell 35 732
24 Pretty Schitty City Alex Michaluk 56 727
25 Lothersdale FC Simon Rider 65 723
26 Inter Ealing Paul Bentz 62 720
27 Real Jorvik Simon Brown 75 700

Due to having a dose of manflu so severe I can barely walk, and being about as prepared and organised for Christmas as Man City are for last minute free kicks, I’m combining last weeks results with the coming weeks fixture preview. This might happen again over the coming weeks. I only hope I can keep up with the gameweeks and not miss anything. Although I do hope some of you are so stuffed/pissed/embedded with family that you forget your managerial duties and let me climb a few more places. Thanks.

Not too many people – hardly anyone in fact – thought there’d be much advantage in drafting in Sunderland and Reading players this week – and they’d be half right. Reading didn’t offer anything. They didn’t score and conceded 4. Only Adam Federici, who picked up 2 extra points for the saves he made, scored anything other than their basic appearance points. Sunderland, by virtue of the convincing win over Reading, did have a good week. Their defeat to Chelsea was maybe expected, but they did score a goal courtesy of Adam Johnson. He also picked up a bonus point out of that game. James McLean was credited with the assist. McLean also scored against Reading, assisted by Johnson. Carlos Cuellar assisted and kept a clean sheet. John O’Shea and Simon Mignolet were the other clean sheet keepers. Sessegnon and Fletcher were the other goal scorers, with Danny Rose grabbing the last assist. Across those players there were plenty of points to be had, particularly with McLean, Johnson and Cuellar, who all nothced double figures. Giving McLean the captaincy would have bagged you 32 points. This was enough to make McLean the overall player of the week.

And after all that, Pescara Rangers win the gameweek with 84 points, and not a Reading or Sunderland player in sight. There were lots of goals around this week. Even Fernando Torres found the net twice, as did Michu, as usual, Arteta, twice from the penalty spot, James McCarthy and Wayne Rooney. Pescara bravely handed Torres the captaincy, scoring 32 points. Van Persie, Michu, Yaya, Tevez and Jason Puncheon all added goals or assists.

A word on the Manc derby –  Rio’s been asking for that for years. All that hurtling forward 90 yards to celebrate goals he had nothing to do with, kissing his badge and thrusting his hair lip in the faces of the opposition fans. Wanker.

15 Dec 12:45 Newcastle Newcastle v Man City Man City
15 Dec 15:00 Liverpool Liverpool v Aston Villa Aston Villa
15 Dec 15:00 Man Utd Man Utd v Sunderland Sunderland
15 Dec 15:00 Norwich Norwich v Wigan Wigan
15 Dec 15:00 QPR QPR v Fulham Fulham
15 Dec 15:00 Stoke City Stoke City v Everton Everton
16 Dec 13:30 Tottenham Tottenham v Swansea Swansea
16 Dec 16:00 West Brom West Brom v West Ham West Ham
17 Dec 20:00 Reading Reading v Arsenal Arsenal

As for next week, well, Torres won’t be adding to his tally. Chelsea don’t play. Their opponents would have been Southampton, so Jason Puncheon can’t add to that run of form either. A few teams will have decisions to make on what to do with their Chelsea and/or Saints players. Both teams have winnable home fixtures in week 18, so providing your not going to be left with only 10 men, just leave it for a week. You pick up two free subs along the way. Then there’s the quick switch option. Kicking Torres out for a week to bring in a striker purposely for this weeks fixtures could work. How many could Van Persie or Rooney get against Sunderland? Suarez could have as good week against Villa. Defoe against Swansea? Tevez or Aguero against Newcastle? Sebastian Bassong against Wigan even? You read that right. Three goals in four games for the Norwich centre half, and three consecutive clean sheets before that. Whose to say he won’t score and keep a clean sheet this weekend. Not bad for a player who has suffered 3 relegations in the last 5 seasons, and was probably expecting another one in this.

  • Player of the week – James McLean – 16 points. Had to be a player from one of the teams that played twice
  • Bargain of the week – James McCarthy – 15 points. Should also have been from one of the teams that played twice.
  • Donkey of the week – Ashley Williams – -1 points. Torn apart by Norwich.

Goal of the weekend

Glen Johnson v West Ham

Gameweek 9 results

1 Les Canaris David Spinks 63 507
2 Rip Roaring Reds Sean Whyton 38 500
3 Uriah Rennie 2nd XI Neil Greenwood 45 493
4 Hedgehog Corpse FC Nick Smith 57 486
5 Pescara Rangers Stewart Pope 53 481
6 A Few Good Men Darren Pope 43 477
7 A Pint of Fuller’s P Hawkins 57 475
8 Pimp My Side Jordan Raper 73 471
9 Panza Grande XI Stuart Baker 55 471
10 Shoelace Untied Caroline Strong 53 461
11 None Of The Above Jonny Mabbutt 50 452
12 Neil Madrid Neil Strong 71 447
13 Upper Bullens Scouse Mouse 43 445
14 Body Issues FC Arron Fellows 43 445
15 Moxie XI Luke O’Shea 58 443
16 Fancy a brouhaha? Ian Williams 54 442
17 Bermie Utd Glen Davies 46 439
18 Doing the 91 Colin Goulding 56 439
19 (Your Ad Here) Matthew Hopkins 57 428
20 Crazy Legs XI David Caldicott 68 425
21 Inter Ealing Paul Bentz 50 412
22 Shadwell Town Ed Carter 39 411
23 Borussia HairBack Alex Ritchie 50 408
24 Pretty Schitty City Alex Michaluk 52 408
25 Real Jorvik Simon Brown 32 405
26 Release The Hounds 5 Paul Mitchell 36 397
27 goodbutnosigurdsson Rob Hewer 38 396
28 Lothersdale FC Simon Rider 38 381

The meteoric rise of Les Canaris continues as they stride to the top of the league table. And in doing so win the October Manager of the Month award by a 34 point margin. They couldn’t really fail to win it, especially with both Tevez and Van Persie getting a combined 21 points between them, and being amongst the top scoring players of the week. Most of the chasing pack have one or the other or both, and so no ground was ever going to be made.

I don’t think any team suffered too much from Chelsea’s collapse/bad luck (depending on which version of events you prefer). Les Canaris lost a point for Torres’ dismissal, but picked up 9 more points for Mata’s goal and bonus score. Most teams, if they don’t have Mata, seem to have Hazard. He got 5 points for his appearance and assist. Three Chelsea players had minus scores this week – bad luck if there is a team out there who had all three of Ivanovic, Luiz and Torres.

Manager of the week is Pimp My Side with 73 points. Again, Tevez and Van Persie came good – Van Persie as captain. They were aided by Clichy and Shawcross, two of the top scoring defenders of the week, who both got 9 points. It wasn’t a high scoring week for individual players. Van Persie managed the best individual total with 12 points. Only he and Bryan Ruiz managed to score and assist. No player scored more than one goal. And no defender kept a clean sheet and scored. Clichy assisted and scored, but surprisingly didn’t get any bonus marks. Our bargain of the week, Norwich’s Michael Turner, scored and got top bonus marks. A clean sheet would have made him our player of the week.

  • Player of the week. Robin Van Persie – 12 points. Scoring or assisting every week at the moment.
  • Bargain of the week. Michael Turner – 11 points. A good week for Les Canaris.
  • Donkey of the week. Branislav Ivanovic – -2 points. The games highest scoring defender – now banned for three games

Goal of the weekend

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nF4Pnw2B7OQ

Looks good when the goalie doesn’t move. Bryan Ruiz for Fulham v Reading.