1  up Neil Madrid
Neil Strong
56 1485
2  down But Da Pitch Ain’t 1
Trev Reams
40 1481
3  same The Craggy Islanders
Adrian Roche
58 1465
4  same Perfidious Albion
Andrew Swift
67 1462
5  up FTM
Stu Smith
47 1413
6  up Bielsa Ringing
Alan Hardy
55 1408
7  down Edgbaston
Micheal Dinneen
33 1402
8  same Thelma and Luiz
Trevor Gordon
43 1396
9  up FC Caligula
Ajay Supeda
57 1395
10  down Frostee Rucker
Paul Bentz
42 1394
11  down Game of Stones
Ryan Garoghan
30 1376
12  same INIT FC
Mustafa khan
38 1371
13  same SLABHEAD FC
Adam Burnett
38 1360
14  up Deeney in a Bottle
Stephanie Cripps
53 1359
15  up Shoelace Untied
Caroline Strong
66 1356
16  down Aribo Haribo
Paul Hawkins
37 1349
17  down King raggg
Steven Darling
46 1349
18  same Upper Bullens
Andy Taylor
44 1320
19  up RICO UNITED
JASON REACHER
52 1319
20  down Cookie fc
Peter Cook
47 1318
21  same Rip Roaring Reds
Sean Whyton
53 1310
22  same Nashton Villa
Jaime Nash
40 1300
23  up Musttryharder fc
Paul Telford
57 1294
24  down Fake Madrid
Andrew Wade
37 1292
25  down Mour Salt and Pep
Noel Driver
40 1292
26  down PenshawPerformers
david bruce
36 1282
27  same Your Ad Here
Matthew Hopkins
40 1280
28  up Kompany & Co
DEAN CRIPPS
39 1271
29  down Dinamo Spinks
David Spinks
29 1270
30  up Pretty Schitty City
Alex Michaluk
57 1265
31  same romeoshondavan
Rob Hewer
37 1256
32  down Morningblues
Jeff Morning
32 1255
33  up Hoose Reus
James Whitfield
56 1248
34  up Kebab Eaters Utd
Paul Howard
57 1248
35  down Need son luck
Matt Jarvis
37 1246
36  up QUEEN OF THE NORTH
DORINE REACHER
71 1232
37  same Salah Buffoon!!!
Jitesh Lakhani
49 1231
38  down Dropit like its Hart
Jason Earwicker
45 1229
39  down Crazy Leg XI
David Caldicott
54 1228
40  down Real Jorvik
Simon Brown
53 1223
41  same El Loco No Joko
Paul Murray
62 1215
42  same The Big Lewandowski
Paul Callaghan
58 1210
43  same Hemel Hotspurs
Paul Jarvis
57 1208
44  same ClipityKlopptotitle
tanya thursby
51 1198
45  same It’s coming home
scott mcgow
23 1168
46  same Pique Blinders
Colin Goulding
33 1161
47  same Atlético Chappers
Richard Chapman
42 1161
48  same Puddle Splash Van
Ian Williams
38 1146
49  up The Mindless Morons
John Seacroft
48 1129
50  down Greeeenteeam
adam greenwood
41 1124
51  same Ross’s champions
darren frankland
36 1021

January Manager of the Month – Paul Hawkins – Aribo Haribo – 257 points

They clung on in the end, but last season’s champs and last week’s manager of the week make it over the line to be January’s manager of the month. They pinched it by a point and that point came courtesy of their bench boost. One single solitary point from a bench boost would otherwise be a disaster, but in this case…? Although I’m sure Aribo were hoping for a little more. And that’s one chip they won’t be able to play come double gameweek time. Nevertheless it earns them their regular place on the role of honour and £40.

1  same Aribo Haribo
Paul Hawkins
37 257
2  same FTM
Stu Smith
47 256
3  up Kebab Eaters Utd
Paul Howard
57 252
4  up Neil Madrid
Neil Strong
56 250
5  down But Da Pitch Ain’t 1
Trev Reams
40 248
6  up Musttryharder fc
Paul Telford
57 247

 

Manager of the week – Dorine Reacher – Queen of the North – 71 points

There were goals around this week, but scores stayed relatively average. QOTN were the only team to tip the 70 point barrier proving you don’t have to captain Mo Salah every week to earn a big score. Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang’s 12 points doubled to 24 in a blank week for the Liverpool forward. PEA’s fixture against Cardiff was always likely to provide more points, but the majority of us feared Salah too much. QOTN already have a cup bye. That draw will be made imminently

Player of the week – Josh King – Bournemouth – 16 points

It was an off week for the top six, perhaps explaining the fair to middling end totals. Bournemouth stuffed Chelsea, keeping a clean sheet in the process – their second in a row. Everton and Wolves were the only other two teams not to concede – three teams hardly known for the clean sheet prowess. Newcastle and Liverpool restricted the City and Liverpool assets respectively. Josh King returned the highest score contributing to three of Bournemouth’s four goals. It’s his third double figure score and he moves onto eight goals for the season. Well worth a look given Callum Wilson is likely to be missing a few games with injury.

Bargain of the week – Fernando Llorente – Tottenham Hotspur – 12 points

It’s been a mixed start to Llorente’s run in the Spurs side. An own goal in his first match was followed up by two cup defeats. And he could have had a hat trick of sitters last night. It doesn’t look as if Spurs are planning to bring anyone else in to cover Harry Kane’s absence, so Llorente looks likely to get starts. He played alongside Son against Watford, finally managing to score in the right end and assisting his South Korean team mate.

Twat of the week – Lucas Digne – Everton – -2 points

Double twat alert. He follows up a 25 yard own goal with a 12 minute sending off. Brilliant twatness. Consecutive weeks of twatdom is rare, normally reserved for Jose Holebas and Kyle Naughton. He joins an exclusive club – all of them full/wing backs. Actually – lets go for triple twat. He’s been brought into so many teams and then there’s a timely announcement of an Everton double gameweek. He’ll only play in one game. Well done Lucas. Twisted fantasy league.

Goal of the week – Calum Chambers.

https://www.skysports.com/watch/video/11622998/pl-goals-of-the-round

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Gameweek 22 results

January 23, 2017

same The Craggy Islanders
Adrian Roche
46 1253
same Aquamar 15
Noel Driver
46 1244
same Yeboah’s Right Foot
Paul Murray
49 1235
same When Harry met Alli
Trevor Gordon
67 1229
same Kebab Eaters Utd
Paul Howard
52 1213
up greenyteamy
adam greenwood
71 1203
down Hedgehog Corpse FC
Nick Smith
64 1194
up 4 Fuchs Ake
Jason Earwicker
67 1183
up Uriah Rennie 2nd XI
Neil Greenwood
61 1181
10  down Biscuitmen
Chris Morton
47 1176
11  down Cooksters
Peter Cook
48 1174
12  same Rip Roaring Reds
Sean Whyton
60 1173
13  up FC Caligula
Ajay Supeda
61 1171
14  down INIT FC
Mustafa khan
53 1168
15  down Go Buffoons Go
Jitesh Lakhani
52 1163
16  same To Elland Back
Alan Hardy
54 1160
17  up 30:19
Darren Lavelle
66 1158
18  down Atlético Chappers
Richard Chapman
55 1158
19  up Neil Madrid
Neil Strong
63 1155
20  up Joey Bosa
Paul Bentz
74 1149
21  same RICO UNITED
JASON REACHER
59 1139
22  down QUEEN OF THE NORTH
DORINE REACHER
37 1132
23  up Your Ad Here
Matthew Hopkins
61 1130
24  down Edgbaston
Micheal Dinneen
54 1128
25  down romeoshondavan
Rob Hewer
49 1119
26  same nO fucHs given
Paul Callaghan
45 1111
27  up Upper Bullens
Andy Taylor
59 1108
28  down Golden Boys
Stephanie Cripps
51 1104
29  same Jeff Lamp’s Porsche
David Spinks
54 1099
30  up Jarvis FC
Matt Jarvis
50 1095
31  up Crazy Legs XI
David Caldicott
56 1082
32  down Hucking Fell
P Hawkins
35 1082
33  up Shoelace Untied
Caroline Strong
77 1078
34  up RG XV
Ryan Garoghan
58 1066
35  down Release The Hounds
Paul Mitchell
40 1063
36  down Ciderheads
Darren Pope
28 1050
37  up Have a little dink
Ian Williams
69 1048
38  down FTM
Stu Smith
46 1046
39  down I am not Zlatan
Colin Goulding
44 1037
40  up Pepe Le Blue
DEAN CRIPPS
53 1018
41  down Real Jorvik
Simon Brown
48 1009
42  same Pretty Schitty City
Alex Michaluk
48 998
43  same Bakerlona
Stuart Baker
54 994
44  up Dj daz
darren frankland
62 984
45  up jetty city
scott mcgow
56 981
46  down Pudding And Pie
John Seacroft
41 980
47  down Big White Chiefs
david frankland
47 980
48  same bazza 28 united
laura barrett
39 941
49  same Bermie Utd
Glen Davies
38 931
50  same DJ’s Trail Blazers
Danian Jones
36 909
51  up Bish Bosh Goal
Simon Purnell
52 897
52  down Racing Club Skegness
Andrew Swift
45 892
53  same Jarv88
Paul Jarvis
41 856

 

As the 96th minute rolled round at the Emirates yesterday, Alexis Sanchez was sat on two points, and with the rest of the Arsenal team, feeling aggrieved at the seven minutes of added time that had afforded Burnley a penalty with which they had leveled up the game at 1-1. A minute later and the fantasy world breathed a sigh of relief as he chipped Arsenal’s own slightly dubious penalty down the middle of the Burnley goal and added a much welcomed six points to his score. With most of us seemingly carrying him as captain this week, that amounted to an extra 12 points, and an above average total in the 60’s, and in some cases, the 70’s.

The highest of which was Shoelace Untied who hit 77 points. Sanchez’s 16 point contribution was backed up by 34 points from their defence, courtesy of a clean sheet each from Cesar Azpilicueta, Gareth McAuley and Seamus Coleman. McAuley and Coleman also added an asisst and a goal and top bonus marks. Coleman ended up as player of the week as the Everton bandwagon gathered pace. They’re the latest team to change to three at the back giving us five of the Everton defence scoring meaningful points. Three consecutive clean sheets has promoted Coleman into the top table of defenders with Leighton Baines two positions behind. Given the kind run of fixtures on the horizon for Everton, their totals and their stock should continue to rise.

Average weeks for our top three enabled the chasing pack to close the gap a little. There’s an average of 10 points separating each team in the top seven before the placings concertina with 30 points separating the next 12 teams. We’ve an FA Cup break next weekend, but then an instant set of midweek fixtures to complete February. For the record, the manager of the month table looks like this…

up When Harry met Alli
Trevor Gordon
67 217
up greenyteamy
adam greenwood
71 209
up Neil Madrid
Neil Strong
63 208
up Upper Bullens
Andy Taylor
59 207
down Pudding And Pie
John Seacroft
41 205
up FC Caligula
Ajay Supeda
61 204
down Dj daz
darren frankland
62 204
down Aquamar 15
Noel Driver
46 203
up RG XV
Ryan Garoghan
58 200
10  up Rip Roaring Reds
Sean Whyton
60 200
11  down Kebab Eaters Utd
Paul Howard
52 199
12  down romeoshondavan
Rob Hewer
49 196
13  up To Elland Back
Alan Hardy
54 194
14  up Have a little dink
Ian Williams
69 191
15  down The Craggy Islanders
Adrian Roche
46 190

Plenty of teams in it.

 

Player of the week – Seamus Coleman – 15 points. Form defender.

Bargain of the week – Fernando Llorente – 13 points. Ending the Liverpool challenge?

Donkey of the week – Granit Xhaka – -1 points. The new Lee Cattermole.

Goal of the week – Wayne Rooney. I suppose.

Gameweek 13 results

November 28, 2016

same Uriah Rennie 2nd XI
Neil Greenwood
65 727
same QUEEN OF THE NORTH
DORINE REACHER
66 721
up The Craggy Islanders
Adrian Roche
53 698
down Neil Madrid
Neil Strong
46 695
up Yeboah’s Right Foot
Paul Murray
51 694
down Kebab Eaters Utd
Paul Howard
38 690
down nO fucHs given
Paul Callaghan
42 689
up 4 Fuchs Ake
Jason Earwicker
56 688
down Aquamar 15
Noel Driver
36 687
10  up Hedgehog Corpse FC
Nick Smith
62 686
11  down When Harry met Alli
Trevor Gordon
63 685
12  same 30:19
Darren Lavelle
52 674
13  same greenyteamy
adam greenwood
44 666
14  up Biscuitmen
Chris Morton
61 664
15  up Edgbaston
Micheal Dinneen
54 661
16  down To Elland Back
Alan Hardy
43 661
17  up Rip Roaring Reds
Sean Whyton
64 660
18  up INIT FC
Mustafa khan
57 648
19  up Atlético Chappers
Richard Chapman
59 647
20  up Joey Bosa
Paul Bentz
55 645
21  down RICO UNITED
JASON REACHER
34 643
22  down Go Buffoons Go
Jitesh Lakhani
38 643
23  up Ciderheads
Darren Pope
58 642
24  down Cooksters
Peter Cook
34 636
25  up Crazy Legs XI
David Caldicott
51 635
26  down Your Ad Here
Matthew Hopkins
44 632
27  same FTM
Stu Smith
51 631
28  same Golden Boys
Stephanie Cripps
61 630
29  up Release The Hounds
Paul Mitchell
57 626
30  up Jeff Lamp’s Porsche
David Spinks
57 625
31  up romeoshondavan
Rob Hewer
70 615
32  down Racing Club Skegness
Andrew Swift
42 612
33  up Hucking Fell
P Hawkins
59 608
34  same FC Caligula
Ajay Supeda
53 606
35  down Real Jorvik
Simon Brown
38 599
36  down RG XV
Ryan Garoghan
39 594
37  up Jarvis FC
Matt Jarvis
69 593
38  up Have a little dink
Ian Williams
68 585
39  up jetty city
scott mcgow
66 579
40  down Upper Bullens
Andy Taylor
51 576
41  same Shoelace Untied
Caroline Strong
55 574
42  same Bakerlona
Stuart Baker
56 573
43  down Pretty Schitty City
Alex Michaluk
45 572
44  same Pepe Le Blue
DEAN CRIPPS
56 571
45  down Big White Chiefs
david frankland
42 569
46  same I am not Zlatan
Colin Goulding
66 554
47  up DJ’s Trail Blazers
Danian Jones
60 535
48  down Bermie Utd
Glen Davies
34 520
49  same Bish Bosh Goal
Simon Purnell
41 506
50  same Pudding And Pie
John Seacroft
42 495
51  up bazza 28 united
laura barrett
50 490
52  up Jarv88
Paul Jarvis
60 481
53  down Dj daz
darren frankland
25 457

 

We have our first gap opening up at the top of the table. We’ve a two team brekaway. Uriah Rennie 2nd XI and Queen Of The North move past the 700 point mark with healthy weekly scores of 65 and 66. The gap between QOTN and The Craggy Islanders in 3rd is 23 points. Then only 13 points separate the next nine teams. In fact, an inspired captain choice and prevailing wind could see teams as far down as maybe Rip Roaring Reds in 17th climb the league and land somewhere in the top ten and within shooting distance of the prize money.

November manager of the month goes to Greenyteamy who held off challenges from a number of teams to hold on to the lead they’d established after last week’s matches. Only Yeboahs Right Foot and Hedgehog Corpse of those featured in the monthly table appear in the overall top ten. This may explain the tightly packed nature of the mid table. Other than our leading pair and Hedgehogs, the rest of our top ten had a fairly uninspiring week in which they limped to an around-average score. Much the same as last week. And the week before.

 

same greenyteamy
adam greenwood
44 172
up Hedgehog Corpse FC
Nick Smith
62 168
up Pepe Le Blue
DEAN CRIPPS
56 168
up Biscuitmen
Chris Morton
61 167
up Have a little dink
Ian Williams
68 164
down Yeboah’s Right Foot
Paul Murray
51 163
down Racing Club Skegness
Andrew Swift
42 161
up Ciderheads
Darren Pope
58 161
down FTM
Stu Smith
51 161
10  up jetty city
scott mcgow
66 160

 

 

Buckets stalwarts, Romeoshondavan, scored the highest weekly score. More than half of their 70 point total came courtesy of old faithfuls Sergio Aguero (as captain) and Alexis Sanchez. Before the week started, Philippe Coutinho was not only the most picked player in the game, but also the most transferred in and most popular captain of the week. He lasted 36 minutes. The rap he took to his ankle looks like it might rule him out until the New Year. There was potential for a Sunderland trouncing at the hands of the Liverpool midfield, but it never transpired, and left a lot of managers cursing their luck.

The nine goal thriller served up by Swansea and Palace provided us with six of the ten players who managed double figure scores this week. They’re not among the most popular teams with fantasy managers. I know a couple of Buckets teams have Christian Benteke clogging up their attack. His ownership across the whole game is only at 6%. More surprisingly perhaps is that Gylfi Sigurdsson appears in only 5.2% of teams in the game as a whole. Maybe his value seems a little high. But, he’s a top ten midfielder, has played virtually every minute of Swansea’s last nine games and has contributed meaningful points in seven of them. Basically if Swansea score, he’s usually somewhere in the mix.

 

Player of the week – Fernando Llorente – 15 points. Collected in 25 minutes.

Bargain of the week – Leroy Fer – 14 points. His 5th and 6th goals of the season. Only Hazard and Sanchez have more in the midfield.

Donkey of the week – Kyle Naughton – -1 points. A clean sweep. His fourth donkey in three years.

Goal of the week – Pedro. Finally worth considering him for your fantasy team. At 3m25s

Gameweek 2 preview

August 16, 2016

Man Utd v Southampton

Stoke v Man City

Burnley v Liverpool

Spurs v Crystal Palace

Swansea v Hull

Watford v Chelsea

West Brom v Everton

Leicester v Arsenal

Sunderland v Middlesbrough

West Ham v Bournemouth

Our first Friday night fixture of the season sees Southampton travel to Old Trafford. It’s an 8 o’clock kick off. Your team needs to be readied an hour earlier than that. Potentially making his debut will be Paul Pogba, who’ll set you back a relatively cheap sounding £8.5 million. The man most likely to miss out is Juan Mata. But that’s alright, because I don’t think too many people expected him to start last week anyway. 

Chris Smalling is back from his ban and could come in for Daley Blind, completing what could be a first choice United back five for the foreseeable future. Matteo Darmian appears completely out of favour, nailing the full back slots for Antonio Valencia and Lake Shaw. New signing Eric Bailly completes the back four with David De Gea in nets. 

It’s not so clear cut across town at the Etihad. The full backs are still on rotation. It might take a few weeks to get a handle on Guardiola’s feelings towards Sagna, Zabaleta, Clichy and Kolarov. Maybe he prefers a particular pairing for the league and the other two for Europe. Otamendi and Stones will play in the middle until Kompany is fit, but that doesn’t look like it will be until September, at which point he’ll probably suffer another setback. Joe Hart is toast. Providing Pep gets his back four playing, Willy Caballero, could be good for early season clean sheets. Until the cash is splashed on the sweeper keeper. 

Looking good to follow on from last week’s clean sheet are Swansea who play Hull at home. Perhaps in anticipation of this, two Swans have seen their value increase. Stephen Kingsley and Leroy Fer will now set you back £4.1 and £5.1 respectively. Jordi Amat, who has filled in the position vacated by Ashley Williams, is still at £4 million. They’ve improved the squad predominantly in attack with the additions of Fernando Llorente and Borja Baston, both of whom should feature this weekend. Llorente marked his debut last weekend with the assist to Fer’s goal. 

And will we finally see the return to action of all those poor lambs that needed the extra week off to recover from the Euros? Arsenal will be glad to see the return of Laurent Koscielny in particular. Also, Mesut Ozil and Olivier Giroud should surely be ready for action. Dimitri Payet got 24 minutes against Chelsea. You’d expect him to start in the Hammers home tie against Bournemouth – their first in league match their new stadium. There’s definite points potential there.

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