Gameweek 9 results

October 23, 2018

1  same But Da Pitch Ain’t 1
Trev Reams
53 621
2  same Perfidious Albion
Andrew Swift
41 598
3  up Cookie fc
Peter Cook
57 562
4  same Game of Stones
Ryan Garoghan
42 549
5  same SLABHEAD FC
Adam Burnett
42 549
6  down Neil Madrid
Neil Strong
33 539
7  down Thelma and Luiz
Trevor Gordon
32 539
8  down King raggg
Steven Darling
36 539
9  same Deeney in a Bottle
Stephanie Cripps
39 533
10  up FC Caligula
Ajay Supeda
40 531
11  down Edgbaston
Micheal Dinneen
38 529
12  up RICO UNITED
JASON REACHER
65 524
13  same The Craggy Islanders
Adrian Roche
42 522
14  down Need son luck
Matt Jarvis
34 517
15  down Bielsa Ringing
Alan Hardy
46 512
16  down Upper Bullens
Andy Taylor
44 508
17  up Musttryharder fc
Paul Telford
55 496
18  down Mour Salt and Pep
Noel Driver
39 496
19  up The Big Lewandowski
Paul Callaghan
48 492
20  up Kompany & Co
DEAN CRIPPS
46 491
20  same PenshawPerformers
david bruce
38 491
22  down Pretty Schitty City
Alex Michaluk
32 485
23  up Your Ad Here
Matthew Hopkins
54 485
24  down Frostee Rucker
Paul Bentz
30 484
25  same FTM
Stu Smith
46 481
26  same CAS Vampire Slayers
Mustafa khan
42 477
27  down romeoshondavan
Rob Hewer
32 473
28  up Hoose Reus
James Whitfield
49 472
29  up Shoelace Untied
Caroline Strong
55 469
30  down Pique Blinders
Colin Goulding
41 466
31  down Crazy Leg XI
David Caldicott
42 465
32  up Aribo Haribo
Paul Hawkins
43 460
33  up Dinamo Spinks
David Spinks
49 457
34  down Fake Madrid
Andrew Wade
30 455
35  up Dropit like its Hart
Jason Earwicker
41 455
36  down Bakerlona
Stuart Baker
39 453
37  down QUEEN OF THE NORTH
DORINE REACHER
37 451
38  up Morningblues
Jeff Morning
54 451
39  up El Loco No Joko
Paul Murray
47 447
40  down Rip Roaring Reds
Sean Whyton
37 446
41  up Nashton Villa
Jaime Nash
62 446
42  down Salah Buffoon!!!
Jitesh Lakhani
44 445
43  down Real Jorvik
Simon Brown
34 439
44  down ClipityKlopptotitle
tanya thursby
31 439
45  down Greeeenteeam
adam greenwood
31 429
46  down It’s coming home
scott mcgow
29 418
47  up Kebab Eaters Utd
Paul Howard
42 418
48  down Atlético Chappers
Richard Chapman
31 414
49  up Hemel Hotspurs
Paul Jarvis
48 413
50  up Puddle Splash Van
Ian Williams
52 410
51  up Ross’s champions
darren frankland
45 388
52  down The Mindless Morons
John Seacroft
13 385

 

Manager of the week – Rico United – Jason Reacher – 65 points

Not a great week for scoring heavily with many of the top 10 stumbling and struggling to get over 40 points. Matt Doherty, as the most transferred in player, was bound to mess up and duly did, and he took the rest of the Wolves team down with him. Eden Hazard blanked and took a booking into the bargain and the uncertainty over the Liverpool line up ultimately didn’t mean that much with only a 1-0 win and a goal scored by the player vacating the most teams, Mo Salah. Rico made a charge from the pack and climbed toward the top 10 with a hard earned 65 points, given a last minute boost by a second consecutive brace off the bench by Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang. He doesn’t need to start. Time to start squeezing Arsenal assets in to your team somehow.

There are lots of managers in with a chance of sneaking the October manager of the month, Rico included. Inevitably, Da Pitch are loitering. They extended their overall lead and now sit in the top 2,000 overall.

1  same Salah Buffoon!!!
Jitesh Lakhani
44 134
2  up But Da Pitch Ain’t 1
Trev Reams
53 124
3  up RICO UNITED
JASON REACHER
65 123
4  up Cookie fc
Peter Cook
57 117
5  up Shoelace Untied
Caroline Strong
55 117
6  down Deeney in a Bottle
Stephanie Cripps
39 115
7  down Game of Stones
Ryan Garoghan
42 112
8  up FTM
Stu Smith
46 110
9  down Edgbaston
Micheal Dinneen
38 109
10  same Dropit like its Hart
Jason Earwicker
41 106
11  down Rip Roaring Reds
Sean Whyton
37 104
12  up Kompany & Co
DEAN CRIPPS
46 104

 

Player of the week – Jordan Pickford – Everton – 15 points

It was only Everton’s second clean sheet. Many managers were dispensing of Pickford and Everton defenders with prices starting to drop, so they were bound to make you regret that decision sooner or later. It maybe wasn’t much of a surprise that it came against Palace though. They’ve only found the net five times this season.

Bargain of the week – Fernandinho – Manchester City – 14 points

This tends to happen once a season. Fernandinho will not score or assist or collect top bonus marks again for another year. Do not replace Eden Hazard with Fernandinho.

Twat of the week – Callum Chambers – Fulham – -1 points

Fulham are leaky. So leaky they let Cardiff score four against them. His score could have been much worse because he was lucky to escape a second caution. Every Fulham defender bar two has suffered a price drop so far this season – and one of those two hasn’t played a game yet.

Goal of the week – Riyad Mahrez. 9 minutes in. Ah Oui!

 

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1  same Hornets
Andrew Wade
47 623
2  up Gotta Light?
Andrew Swift
58 582
3  up The winnings R mine
david bruce
65 578
4  down The Vinegar Pissers
P Hawkins
42 576
5  same Rip Roaring Reds
Sean Whyton
48 575
6  down Fun Lovren Criminals
Paul Callaghan
43 574
7  down Kompany & Co
DEAN CRIPPS
30 573
8  up Neil Madrid
Neil Strong
73 568
9  down The Craggy Islanders
Adrian Roche
47 566
10  down INIT FC
Mustafa khan
54 562
11  up Despicable Mee
Trevor Gordon
68 561
12  same Crazylegs XI
David Caldicott
51 553
13  down It’sOnlyAGameFarke!
David Spinks
42 545
14  up Brexiter City
Colin Goulding
54 542
15  up musttryharder FC
Paul Telford
65 540
15  down Jarv88
Paul Jarvis
40 540
17  down King Dunlap
Paul Bentz
39 538
18  up Flying squad
Matt Jarvis
58 538
19  up Queen of the north
DORINE REACHER
55 537
20  down Edgbaston
Micheal Dinneen
55 537
21  down Bakerlona FC
Stuart Baker
35 522
22  up Rico united
JASON REACHER
61 519
23  same Game of Throw-Ins
Ryan Garoghan
42 519
24  up greenyteamy
adam greenwood
70 517
25  up FC Caligula
Ajay Supeda
65 516
26  down FTM
Stu Smith
48 514
27  same Real Jorvik
Simon Brown
44 509
28  down Klopp of the Pochs
Jason Earwicker
24 509
29  down Aquamar 1564
Noel Driver
45 504
30  down Golden Boys
Stephanie Cripps
24 503
31  down Kebab Eaters Utd
Paul Howard
36 503
32  down To Elland Back
Alan Hardy
45 501
33  up Pure Buffoonery!
Jitesh Lakhani
51 495
34  up Pretty Schitty City
Alex Michaluk
75 493
35  down Upper Bullens
Andy Taylor
27 489
36  down romeoshondavan
Rob Hewer
48 487
37  up Atlético Chappers
Richard Chapman
52 487
38  down Nashton Villa
Jaime Nash
36 483
39  same Your Ad Here
Matthew Hopkins
47 482
40  up Release The Hounds
Paul Mitchell
52 480
41  down We are Ayling
Paul Murray
38 477
42  down cookster fc
Peter Cook
42 472
43  down disco dancer
darren frankland
42 463
44  up Pudding And Pie
John Seacroft
45 461
45  down Shoelace Untied
Caroline Strong
41 460
46  same mrs mcgoo
laura barrett
45 446
47  same Emergency Gap Jumper
Ian Williams
45 436
48  same blakes11
Steven Darling
46 432
49  same iamgroot
scott mcgow
45 423
50  same Biscuitmen
Chris Morton
37 363

 

Manager of the month – The Craggy Islanders – 189 points

The Islanders played their free hit this week, possibly spying a good group of fixtures with which to rack up a decent amount of points. And to consolidate their lead at the top of the monthly rankings and guarantee them the monthly award. Or was it just find a solution to the Kane absence? I’m not sure the chip had its full effect with only one of the chosen XI getting into double figures, but the lead was held and the money was won.

1  same The Craggy Islanders
Adrian Roche
47 189
2  up Despicable Mee
Trevor Gordon
68 178
3  up Gotta Light?
Andrew Swift
58 174
4  down Rip Roaring Reds
Sean Whyton
48 174
5  down Game of Throw-Ins
Ryan Garoghan
42 172

 

Manager of the week – Pretty Schitty City – 75 points

A strong defence and a timely substitution helped City to the top score. Harry Kane was in the starting XI despite the confirmed reports of his injury. That might be an indicator of the complete lack of trust we have in the Spurs striker at the moment. Steven Davis was lined up as first reserve and took his place to the tune of 10 points.

Player of the week – Saed Kolasinac – 14 points

This has been coming. Arsenal defenders have been quietly racking up points without looking all that convincing. No clean sheet this week but a goal and assist from the player most likely to be this season’s Marcos Alonso…unless of course that turns out to be Marcos Alonso.

Bargain of the week – Fernandinho – 13 points

Those wondering how to squeeze a third Man City player in should look no further. Two assists and two goals is more than your average holding midfielder gets in a season.

Twat of the week – Arthur Masuaku -1 points

Thats what you get for conceding goals against Palace.

Goal of the week – Andre Ayew.

From 1m32s

Gameweek 8 results

October 17, 2017

1  same Hornets
Andrew Wade
37 498
2  up The Vinegar Pissers
P Hawkins
55 478
3  up Fun Lovren Criminals
Paul Callaghan
60 475
3  down The winnings R mine
david bruce
33 475
5  up Rip Roaring Reds
Sean Whyton
72 473
6  down Kompany & Co
DEAN CRIPPS
37 465
7  same Gotta Light?
Andrew Swift
50 458
8  down INIT FC
Mustafa khan
33 453
9  down Neil Madrid
Neil Strong
50 452
10  up It’sOnlyAGameFarke!
David Spinks
52 451
11  down Crazylegs XI
David Caldicott
42 445
12  up Edgbaston
Micheal Dinneen
59 441
13  up The Craggy Islanders
Adrian Roche
64 441
14  down King Dunlap
Paul Bentz
38 440
15  down Jarv88
Paul Jarvis
37 438
16  down Golden Boys
Stephanie Cripps
40 436
17  up Brexiter City
Colin Goulding
49 436
18  up Flying squad
Matt Jarvis
55 433
19  down Despicable Mee
Trevor Gordon
50 433
20  down Klopp of the Pochs
Jason Earwicker
28 430
21  up Bakerlona FC
Stuart Baker
53 425
22  down FTM
Stu Smith
44 423
23  down Rico united
JASON REACHER
31 420
24  down musttryharder FC
Paul Telford
34 420
25  down Queen of the north
DORINE REACHER
36 418
26  up Kebab Eaters Utd
Paul Howard
66 418
27  up Aquamar 1564
Noel Driver
56 415
28  down greenyteamy
adam greenwood
39 406
29  up Upper Bullens
Andy Taylor
47 404
30  up Nashton Villa
Jaime Nash
48 404
31  down FC Caligula
Ajay Supeda
42 402
32  down Real Jorvik
Simon Brown
26 397
33  same We are Ayling
Paul Murray
40 394
34  up Game of Throw-Ins
Ryan Garoghan
47 394
35  down Atlético Chappers
Richard Chapman
31 392
36  down romeoshondavan
Rob Hewer
41 390
37  down Release The Hounds
Paul Mitchell
36 389
38  up To Elland Back
Alan Hardy
39 383
39  down Your Ad Here
Matthew Hopkins
30 380
40  up Pure Buffoonery!
Jitesh Lakhani
49 380
41  up cookster fc
Peter Cook
41 374
42  down Pretty Schitty City
Alex Michaluk
22 371
43  up disco dancer
darren frankland
45 370
44  down Shoelace Untied
Caroline Strong
26 366
45  down mrs mcgoo
laura barrett
29 365
46  up blakes11
Steven Darling
57 354
47  down Emergency Gap Jumper
Ian Williams
34 346
48  down Pudding And Pie
John Seacroft
32 343
49  down iamgroot
scott mcgow
35 341
50  same Biscuitmen
Chris Morton
45 286

 

Manager of the week – Sean Whyton – Rip Roaring Reds – 72 points

A significant move of seven places up the league into the top five for the Reds. There have been may teams threatening to knock the Hornets off the top with bursts into the top 10 in recent weeks but none have succeeded. They maintain their 20-ish point lead as they have done for the last 6 gameweeks. Reds’ success came from spying Christian Eriksen’s slightly left field potential as a captain choice. As Harry Kane had another week off the Spurs midfielder picked up the big points from their paltry 1-0 win over Bournemouth.

Player of the week – Raheem Sterling – 15 points

Had to be a City player didn’t it? Sterling’s not even a guaranteed starter and still has more goals than Everton. It’s reached a stage where you don’t even necessarily have to worry if a City player starts on the bench. He’ll either come on and score or start next week and score.

Bargain of the week – Tammy Abraham – 13 points

A favoured cheap pick that’s starting to find his feet. The problem is whether you pick him week in week out or not. Presumably if he’s your third striker you’ve heavily invested in your midfield and they probably look better bets for consistent scoring.

Twat of the week – Andy Carroll – -2 points

Two elbows in 10 minutes is much worse than seven conceded in 90. Silly boy.

Goal of the week – Fernandinho, Take your pick of any of the City 7.

Gameweek 20 results

January 5, 2017

same The Craggy Islanders
Adrian Roche
74 1137
same Yeboah’s Right Foot
Paul Murray
62 1123
same Aquamar 15
Noel Driver
72 1113
up When Harry met Alli
Trevor Gordon
69 1081
same Kebab Eaters Utd
Paul Howard
64 1078
down Uriah Rennie 2nd XI
Neil Greenwood
55 1073
up INIT FC
Mustafa khan
62 1069
up Cooksters
Peter Cook
62 1066
up Biscuitmen
Chris Morton
55 1062
10  same Atlético Chappers
Richard Chapman
55 1059
11  up Go Buffoons Go
Jitesh Lakhani
59 1054
12  down Hedgehog Corpse FC
Nick Smith
42 1051
13  down 4 Fuchs Ake
Jason Earwicker
32 1049
14  down QUEEN OF THE NORTH
DORINE REACHER
38 1045
15  up Rip Roaring Reds
Sean Whyton
67 1040
16  down greenyteamy
adam greenwood
45 1039
17  down 30:19
Darren Lavelle
48 1034
18  up FC Caligula
Ajay Supeda
65 1032
19  up To Elland Back
Alan Hardy
62 1028
20  up Your Ad Here
Matthew Hopkins
67 1019
21  up Neil Madrid
Neil Strong
67 1014
22  up nO fucHs given
Paul Callaghan
66 1012
23  down Edgbaston
Micheal Dinneen
54 1011
24  down Joey Bosa
Paul Bentz
32 1007
25  down RICO UNITED
JASON REACHER
41 997
26  same Hucking Fell
P Hawkins
44 987
27  up romeoshondavan
Rob Hewer
62 985
28  down Jeff Lamp’s Porsche
David Spinks
46 979
29  same Golden Boys
Stephanie Cripps
49 973
30  up Jarvis FC
Matt Jarvis
54 969
31  down Ciderheads
Darren Pope
41 965
32  same Crazy Legs XI
David Caldicott
48 959
33  up Upper Bullens
Andy Taylor
57 958
34  down FTM
Stu Smith
52 957
35  same Shoelace Untied
Caroline Strong
55 951
36  up RG XV
Ryan Garoghan
72 938
37  down Pepe Le Blue
DEAN CRIPPS
43 924
38  up I am not Zlatan
Colin Goulding
48 920
39  down Real Jorvik
Simon Brown
39 919
40  up Have a little dink
Ian Williams
62 919
41  down Release The Hounds
Paul Mitchell
39 915
42  same Pretty Schitty City
Alex Michaluk
60 901
43  same Big White Chiefs
david frankland
52 884
44  up jetty city
scott mcgow
57 881
45  down Bakerlona
Stuart Baker
46 872
46  up Pudding And Pie
John Seacroft
77 852
47  up Dj daz
darren frankland
69 849
48  down bazza 28 united
laura barrett
42 833
49  down Bermie Utd
Glen Davies
30 827
50  down DJ’s Trail Blazers
Danian Jones
36 821
51  same Racing Club Skegness
Andrew Swift
43 815
52  same Bish Bosh Goal
Simon Purnell
50 790
53  same Jarv88
Paul Jarvis
34 768

 

There wasn’t a preview. I didn’t have time. And I’m glad of the week off for the 3rd round of the cup. Everybody should have their second wildcards activated and you’ll have noticed the Africans have gone. That is…Sadio Mane has gone.

This gameweek’s highest scorers are Pudding And Pie. Yes…Pudding and Pie. And they’re up to the heady heights of 46th position – a season high. And they did it with three lame ducks on the bench. Ibrahimovic bagged his regular double figure score as captain. Robert Snodgrass and Romelu Lukaku added their own double figure totals and Allen Nyom and Ben Mee scored 15 points between them at the back.

They also had Dele Alli in their midfield. The Spurs man was one of three players to reach 15 points along with Ryan Shawcross, Olivier Giroud and Leighton Baines. Shawcross wins the official player of the week award, but Alli’s double against Chelsea to end their winning run was perhaps the real performance of the gameweek. He’s picked up 53 points over the Christmas period, scoring seven goals in the last four games. He’s the form leader and has joined that never ending list of midfielders we can’t do without.

 

Player of the week – Ryan Shawcross – 15 points. Good old goal and clean sheet combo.

Bargain of the week – Ryan Fraser – 13 points. On 47 points from three starts.

Donkey of the week – Fernandinho – -2 points. His third sending off in six games.

Goal of the week – Lucas Perez.

 

Gameweek 19 results

December 30, 2014

1 NaboombuDirtyYellows Andrew Swift 35 1,038
2 Gaalatcticos Colin Goulding 41 1,022
3 Uriah Rennie 2nd XI Neil Greenwood 50 1,014
4 Ciderheads Darren Pope 47 1,011
5 Paris Spinks Germain David Spinks 59 1,001
6 Pescara Rangers Stewart Pope 58 1,001
7 Neil Madrid Neil Strong 40 1,000
8 Upper Bullens Andy Taylor 47 995
9 Hedgehog Corpse FC Nick Smith 37 980
10 Shoelace Untied Caroline Strong 55 963
11 RayCrawfordsCrackers Rob Hewer 36 962
12 * Your Ad Here * Matthew Hopkins 24 944
13 Van Damme United P Hawkins 44 938
14 Biscuitmen Chris Morton 51 932
15 Panza Grande XI Stuart Baker 50 929
16 Bermie Utd Glen Davies 35 922
17 Sportingabiggerwig Alex Ritchie 31 909
18 Pretty Schitty City Alex Michaluk 41 906
19 Who R U DEAN CRIPPS 35 894
20 Rip Roaring Reds Sean Whyton 49 892
21 Get to the choppa Mark Bromham 37 885
22 Accrington Rudyard Ian Williams 40 881
23 Real Jorvik FC Simon Brown 45 865
24 The Mindless Morons John Seacroft 16 861
25 No Recognized Plan Paul Bentz 36 848
26 Crazylegs XI David Caldicott 38 839
27 Release The Hounds Paul Mitchell 31 835
28 Luxembourg United Simon Smallbone 27 824
29 Jordie’s Giants Jordan Raper 30 686

 

Congratulations to PSG, who after a worrying mini-slump, have managed to climb the table back into the top five, and win the manager of the week award. Their 59 points was some achievement in a week in which the average was only 37. Gameweek 18 seemed to pass without too many unexpected team rotations and all of our most popular players bang in form. I can only guess that this Boxing Day binge left them a bit bloated – none of them turned up for gameweek 19.

PSG were one of the few teams that didn’t have to rely on their bench. David Silva was a canny choice as captain. He and Eden Hazard posted double figure scores, but their most surprising contribution, and the total that arguably handed them the weekly prize was that of Robert Green, who kept a rare clean sheet and in doing so was awarded with top bonus marks.

Substitute benches were called into action with unexpected no shows for the likes of Yaya Toure, Nathaniel Clyne, Oscar and Gael Clichy. Of the most owned strikers in the game, only Danny Welbeck scored a goal. Costa, Austin, Pelle, Rooney, Kane, Bony, Van Persie and Falcao all ended the week with just two point (or less) totals. And Alexis Sanchez completed a rare contribution-less week with a booking, guaranteeing a measly two points to the many that had plumped for him as their captain.

Gaalacticos inevitable romp to the December manager of the month prize was wrapped up this week. They didn’t have the best of weeks, although still posted a higher than average score of 40. Their nearest challengers, Van Damme United, ended up needing an 80+ score to catch them – and that was never going to happen in this low scoring, low key gameweek.

1 Gaalatcticos Colin Goulding 41 403
2 Van Damme United P Hawkins 44 365
2 Pescara Rangers Stewart Pope 58 365
4 Accrington Rudyard Ian Williams 40 353
5 NaboombuDirtyYellows Andrew Swift 35 351
6 Ciderheads Darren Pope 47 350

 

So that’s the last gameweek of the year, and the half way point of the season. Gameweek 20 comes on New Years Day and teams will play their first return fixture – the same fixture as in gameweek 14. There’s then a break for the FA Cup third round, with gameweek 21 taking place on the weekend of the 10th and 11th January. Gameweek 21 is the first weekend in which you can use your January wildcard. It’s there for you to pick up January transfer widow purchases – although this year it may be put to better use sweeping up the mess left by the exodus to the African and Asian Cups of Nations. Off go the Toures, the Cisses, the Sakhos, the Dioufs (except the ones with French passports). Mile Jedinak’s already gone and Bolasie will follow him out of Palace, leaving them further up shit creek. Sadio Mane, Wilfried Bony, Riyad Mahrez, Cheik Tiote, Jeffrey Schlupp and Ki Sung-Yeung are other notable ship-jumpers.

Happy New Year.

 

Player of the week – Adam Lallana – 15 points. A good week for Liverpool?!?!?!

Bargain of the week – Mame Biram Diouf – 13 points. A second consecutive win for Stoke?!!?!!?!!

Donkey of the week – Fabian Delph – -2points. Another Villa sending off.

Goal of the week – Fernandinho. It was so nearly Ashley Barnes for second time in three weeks.

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